Blame it on the Hormones Chapter 1- Waking Up Ash’s eyes snapped open, and a sudden rush of sunlight and darkness caused him to recoil. It was morning. Morning? His brain raced. Last he remembered, it had been afternoon, and he had been in a meadow. Now, however, he found himself in the midst of a forest. Trees surrounded him, and dark shadows mixed with the bright sunbeam that had just decided to blind him. This must have been where he had ended up after the Pokemon battle. The Pokemon Battle! Memories rushed into his brain as he recalled the events of the previous day. The battle, the Attract attack, and waking up to...a rather unpleasant surprise. Once again, his brain reacted, and he instinctively looked downward at his body. A slight yelp of surprise escaped his lips. He looked normal. Perfectly normal, in fact. No breasts to speak of, and a quick check of his jeans revealed that everything else was normal, too. He pinched himself. “Ow!” Yup, he was awake. His brain wasn’t making this up. And that meant his brain was really, really confused. He scrambled up out of his sleeping bag, startling a snoozing Pikachu. Ash paid no notice, however, as he was focused on trying to find Misty and Brock. He couldn’t seem to spot them...though that would be because he was looking the wrong way. “Morning, Ash! How did you sleep?” That was Brock, calling out a greeting as he cooked breakfast. Misty sat nearby, munching on the meal that Brock had cobbled together. Ash spun around and found his companions nearby. He quickly ran over to them. “Misty! Brock! What happened to me? How did we get here, and how did I get back to normal!?” He seemed a bit panicked, which obviously made no sense. “Ash, what do you mean, how did you get back to normal?” Brock asked patiently. Misty, on the other hand, rolled her eyes. “I mean, how did I get back to being me?!” his voice cracked slightly as it rose. “Today I’m me, and yesterday I was a...a....a... “A what, Ash?” asked Brock. “A girl!” Two pairs of eyebrows arched and two pairs of eyes looked at him as though he was crazy. “It’s true!” he shouted. “I was, I even had....well, you know” He pointed downwards towards his chest. Again, two surprised pairs of eyes looked at him. “I had boobs!” he wailed, spitting out the last word as though it were a spoiled brussel sprout. “I was battling a trainer in a meadow, and it was afternoon, and I got hit by a Skitty’s attract attack, and I turned into a girl, and I had boobs, and then suddenly I was here and it was morning and we’re back in the forest and then I didn’t have boobs and I don’t know how it all happened!!!!” At this point, he was hysterical and nearly hyper-ventilating. The bastion of compassion (not) that was Misty responded, since she couldn’t hold it in any longer. “Ash, that’s preposterous!” she yelled as she gave him a dirty look. “We’ve been in this forest for over a week, and we haven’t seen a human of any sort in days!” “You probably just had a bad dream or something!” He looked to Brock. “She’s right, Ash. Remember, we spent most of the day yesterday trying to search for food.” Again with the memories flooding into the brain. The actual memories of the day seemed to ease back into his head. He’d been exhausted when he’d finally gone to bed, because they’d been searching for food, and hadn’t succeeded, meaning that their supply was running desperately low. “Oh.....but, then....how did all of those memories get there? It seemed so...so real?” “Oh come on, Ash- Surely you’ve had dreams before?” That one came sarcastically from the mouth Misty. Gee, she was awfully grumpy this morning. “Well, yeah.....but this one seemed so much more real.....” “Real or not real, Ash, it was a dream. You’re a boy, not a girl, and none of us have seen a meadow or a Pokemon trainer or a battle since we entered this damn forest!” Yup, Misty was definitely cranky. That meant, as usual, that it was time for Brock to diffuse the situation. “Here, Ash, have some breakfast. I’m sure if you have some food, you’ll start to feel okay again.” “Thanks” Ash took the plate handed to him and ate breakfast with the overwhelmed silence of someone who’d had a most unusual morning. He set down his fork only when he received a visit from his furry yellow friend. “Pika?” came the inquiry from Pikachu “Hey Pikachu…how’re ya doing this morning, buddy?” “Chaaa” the Pokemon yawned sleepily. Ash couldn’t help but smile as Pikachu proceeded to wonder back over to the campsite and curl up in a ball. He finished his breakfast, and the day began to move along. The group had indeed been lost in these woods for a full week, and they needed to find a way out soon. They were tired, dirty, and grumpy, and their food supply would be low. Brock had perhaps the best attitude of the three, but even he was worried at this point. Misty was grumpy as ever, and Ash was simply preoccupied after the previous night’s vivid dream. They shuffled off into the shadows of the forest, and yet another day began. ________________________________________________________________________ Unfortunately, it was a day that didn’t go well. Food wasn’t anywhere to be found, and neither was a way out. The day had pretty much turned into one big argument, and pretty much nobody was enjoying themselves. Again. “Can we please stop for dinner?” Ash moaned . “Sooo…hungry…… “Ash, would you stop your bitching!” Misty yelled. “We’re all hungry, and we haven’t eaten since breakfast! So shut your damn trap!” “Misty…language…” Brock wearily admonished. He sighed. Whoever had taught that girl to swear had not done the world a favor. On the plus side, Ash hadn’t fought back all day, which was unusual. He still seemed to be in a funk over the dream he’d had that morning, and he lacked his usual enthusiasm. “We need to keep walking, guys” he continued, “at least until we find some food. I can’t make some dinner until we get something edible, because we’re almost out.” He sighed again, and the group continued walking along silently. A short time later, Pikachu scrambled off Ash’s shoulder, and scrambled into the undergrowth. None of the group paid it any mind at first- This wasn’t at all unusual from Pikachu, after all. However, a triumphant cry was soon heard. “Pika Pi! Pi pika chu!” Ash ran over towards his Pokemon. “What is it, Pikachu?” “Look guys, there are some berries here!” added Misty, seeming happy for the first time all day. “Hmmm…..” Brock peered in closer to look at the berries. They were an odd purplish- pink color, and round. “Guys, hang on a second . We need to take a closer look at these before we have any of them. I don’t want anybody eating any until I’m sure- ASH! What are you doing?” He seemed annoyed as he looked over at the younger boy- who already had a handful of berries in his mouth. “Whuh? They wook good!” He swallowed. “Mmm….they taste good, too!” He grabbed another handful. Brock gave Misty a look, then sighed. “Well, it looks like it might be okay, then.” He grabbed a couple of berries, and Misty did the same. “Let’s give it a try, then. Can’t be too bad.” He popped the berries into his mouth. At the same time, so did Misty. “Uggggh!!!!” “Blech!” A variety of retching and gagging sounds filled the air. Clearly, Brock and Misty were not taking to the berries well at all. “Ash…”Misty choked out “these berries are disgusting!” “No…..kidding……..” Brock added. “How can you eat these?” He clearly didn’t hear. He was, plain and simple, stuffing his face with the berries. Brock and Misty sighed and watched the gluttony commence. After he had had his fill, they proceeded onward. They walked in silence for a while, but the silence was not surprisingly broken, this time by the one person in the group who was quite happy at this point in the day. “Wait, what are we looking for now?” asked Ash. “You know, some of haven’t eaten yet, Ash” steamed Misty. “I’ve still got some berries if you want some”, he offered. “No thanks, Ash.” She rolled her eyes. “I had more than I wanted the first time.” He had packed as many of the berries as he could into his bookbag, and continued to snack on the berries occasionally as he walked. Everyone else, however, remained hungry. Or at least, they had up to that point. “Umm, guys…I think our dinner problem’s taken care of” Brock stated rather plainly. He was right, of course. In the fading light of the evening sun, they had come across a small clearing. A small creek ran through, and there was a tree with fruit nearby. Fruit that actually looked edible this time. “Alright!”cried Misty. “Time for dinner!” “I’ll have something cooked up in no time!” added Brock. “Pika!” “Well…”smiled Ash “Nothing wrong with seconds!” ________________________________________________________________________ Night had fallen, and the moon poked out amongst the clouds, shining down on the quiet woods below. A small campfire sent up a weak plume of smoke, and three sullen figures sat by the dying flames. The female, whose hair was an unnaturally bright shade of red, spoke first. “Sigh…we’ve been lost in these woods for over a week, and no sign of the twerps at all.” Her male companion spoke next. His hair, an unnatural shade of blue, stood out even in the dim light of the night. “No sign of any dinner, either…” “Yeah. Or any sign of a sleeping bag, for that matter.” The third voice belonged to a small, talking cat, better known as Meowth. The three sighed before lamenting once more. “Looks like Team Rocket’s down and out again…….” ________________________________________________________________________ Meanwhile, at a nearby camp, several figures slumbered silently. Ash, Misty, Brock, and Pikachu had had a nice dinner and a pleasant evening for once. Happily, they had curled up into their sleeping bags, and drifted off into sleep. The wind rustled in the trees, and Ash’s eyes popped open, albeit briefly. “Whuzat?...hmmnmmm….must be the wind…..” He drifted off once again. Just like that, he heard his alarm ring. “Ash, sweetie! Time to get out of bed!” He mumbled something incomprehensible, then got slowly to his feet. “Your clothes are on the dresser, honey. Make sure to get changed before you come down for breakfast!” “Okay, Mom!” He walked over to his dresser, but found only a tank top and a skirt. Those couldn’t be his clothes, could they? “Hey Mom, something’s wrong with my clothes!” “Well, what do you mean, Ash?” “Well, they look all g-…g-…girly!” His mother laughed. “Of course they do, silly! Why shouldn’t they look girly?” It was only then, that he noticed the mirror. He wished he hadn’t. His figure stared back at him, clad in only a bra and panties. And the goods to match. “NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”