Sin2 + Cos2 = 1
By anonymous
Disclaimer: I don’t own pokémon.
A simple conversation between husband and wife about sex and marriage.
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“So what do you think Jess? The pink tux is rather dashing if I don’t say so myself,”
“You look like a piñata in a gay bar,”
“Then why is your aunt Thelma giving me the eye?”
“James, stop flirting with the pictures on the mantle,”
“Aunty Thel started it, you sly old girl,”
“Thelma had a lazy eye,”
“You must introduce me to this woman. She seems to have enough class to appreciate the brilliance of the pink tux,”
“She’s in the third urn from the left. Why am I marrying you again? I should have turned lesbian when I had the chance,”
“You’re not a lesbian, say something lesbionic,”
“Toolbox,”
“Ah, foiled again,”
“James, you are not wearing that to our wedding, you are returning that tux.”
“Alright, help me then,”
“I have things and people to do. I can’t take the time out and help you pick something. Ask the twerp to do it,”
“Fine, Ash and I will go to the tailor tomorrow, and we’ll hit the club after. It is my bachelor party, who knows dear wife, I might meet some nice girl…”
“You wouldn’t,”
“Oh? I’m quite dashing you know?”
“And what? Risk disappointing another one? Hmm… look at the pretty gloves and stockings,”
“Quite nice; I always wondered what they did to your old skin,”
“How much money will I receive upon your death?”
“1 million,”
“I think I will go with you tomorrow and make sure nobody runs you over with my car,”
“You’ll need to be married to me for at least a year,”
“James! Stop fiddling with that tux, you don’t fit it anyways, it’s too long for you,”
“It is not too long for me, I’m 5’11, it’s perfect for me,”
“You’re not 5’11, you’re 5’10,”
“That is not possible; I’ve always been 5’11,”
“It’s just height, why do you care so much?”
“Height is to men, like weight is to women,”
“I don’t care about my weight,”
“Of course you don’t, you weigh like 140,”
“….”
“…. Please still marry me,”
“Grow an inch,”
“How much money will I get on your death anyways Jess?”
“You won’t kill me,”
“Of course not, munchkin…. I’ll need a stake and silver bullets for that,”
“Guess who’s not getting laid tonight,”
“I don’t need anymore love bites, I think I’ve already been blessed with eternal life,”
“You must be gay; you bitch like a girl,”
“Not in the bedroom I’m not,”
“Since we’re getting married anyways I might as well tell you that I need better foreplay,”
“Alright Jess, we’ll try something new tonight,”
“I’ll be Truman, you’ll be
“Boom,”
“What do you think about my foreign policy?”
“Disastrous,”
“Domestic affairs?”
“I’ll prepare the impeachment petition,”
“Sexy,”
“…”
“….”
“We need to have normal sex,”
“Agree,”
“Wanna hear a cool pick up line? So I can use it at my bachelor party tomorrow,”
“Alright, hit me,”
“If I was sine and you were cosine, we could be 1,”
“….. Don’t we need to square each other up first?”
“Damn it, I must alert Ash,”
“Oh dear,”
“What about you? What are you going to do for the bachelorette party?”
“We’ll have pillow fights, and swim naked where I will be using Misty’s breasts as a floatation device. And we’ll take about love and share awkward kisses,”
“…”
“I went too far didn’t I? Where should I have stopped?”
“Can you imagine Jess, in two days, you’ll be Mrs. James,”
“Yes well, you really are the last piece of the puzzle. Don’t worry James, you’re the last piece that fits. I’m not cramming you in,”
“I don’t have a puzzle, I knew you’d fit from the very beginning,”
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