To Arms!
Summary: Ash and Misty find themselves embroiled in a vicious, bloody, drawn-out…practical joke war?
A/N: Ah, moving from sappiness to humor. A semi-difficult transition, but I'm going to try. Bonne chance, Anysia…
Disclaimer: Pokemon belongs to Nintendo, Game Freak, 4Kids, and probably some other people I'm forgetting. In any case, it's not mine.
Ages: Ash - 18, Misty - 20, Brock - 23
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The bright morning light filtered softly through the bedroom's gauzy curtains, gently illuminating the sleeping girl's peaceful visage. The cheerful chirping of the Pidgeys outside resounded throughout the room and shook the girl from her slumber, coaxing her away from her dreams.
Misty groaned a little and slowly opened her eyes. Ah, morning; there was just something about the sunrise and the warbling birds and the…
…countless Caterpies, Weedles, and Spinaraks all over the bed!
Misty froze in terror as she observed the bug Pokemon crawling over the comforter, looking-at least in her irrational early-morning logic-like they were preparing to devour her. Well, a voice in the back of her head said with a chuckle, it looks like he's gotten you back for yesterday's little 'peanut butter in the sneakers' trick.
"Shut up," she growled through clenched teeth to the little voice. "Okay, now, if I can just make it out of the bed," she said quietly, slowly edging off the bed, "I should be-" Misty let out a terrified scream as a Caterpie casually walked across her left hand.
"ASH!"
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Eighteen-year-old Ash Ketchum chuckled inwardly over breakfast as he heard his female traveling companion's panicked screams echoing throughout the house. Point - Ketchum, he thought with a smirk, turning his attention back to the stack of pancakes before him.
"Let me guess," the tall, tanned man standing at the stove wearing a lacy pink apron said as he flipped another pancake onto the plate next to him. "The practical joke war continues?"
"It'll stop when she surrenders," Ash said frankly, his mouth full. He smirked again as he heard angry footsteps quickly coming towards the kitchen. "Which, from the sound of it, will not be any time soon."
"Ashton Ketchum!" Misty yelled furiously as she stormed into the room. "What in the hell possessed you to cover my bed with a disgusting array of bug Pokemon?!"
"A pair of ruined shoes," he said nonchalantly. "Hey, Brock, these pancakes are really good."
"You're the one who started this whole damn thing!" Misty cried, sitting down hard in the chair opposite him at the table and glaring at him. "I've just been retaliating!"
"'Retaliating' my ass!" Ash yelled back. "You just blew this whole thing out of proportion! If you had a sense of humor, we wouldn't be having this conversation!"
"Is that so?!"
"Yeah!"
Brock lifted his eyes skyward in mute supplication as his two friends continued to argue. It had definitely been a long week, and he knew that the two of them were in no hurry to end what they had started…
One week earlier...
"You're sure you'll be alright, honey?" Delia Ketchum said worriedly as she stood beside the taxicab, looking nervously from the house to her son. "I left a list of emergency numbers on the fridge, and I washed two weeks' worth of clean you-know-what's, just in case you don't have time to do laundry."
"I'll be fine, Mom," Ash said in a slightly exasperated tone. His mother had won an all-expenses-paid trip to Hawaii from some women's magazine, and she had asked her son and his friends if they could housesit for the two weeks she was away. The Pokemon Master, along with Misty and Brock, had jumped at the opportunity-mainly because it gave him an excuse to elude his duties for two weeks and spend time goofing off with his friends and just lazing around the house. Yessir, this was going to be a good two weeks. "Go ahead; enjoy yourself."
Biting her lower lip, Delia finally got into the cab and, waving goodbye to her house-sitters, headed off to her vacation.
Grinning impishly, Ash laughed and charged into the house. "And now, two weeks of nothing but fun and games!" he cried, throwing himself onto the couch and turning on the TV.
"I've got a complete index of all the Nurse Joys and Officer Jennys in Kanto!" Brock cried excitedly, grabbing the cordless phone from its cradle.
"I don't think so, boys," Misty said frankly as she entered the house behind the two boys. She frowned a little as she switched off the TV and grabbed the phone away from Brock. "Ash's mom left us a list of chores she needs done around the house, and I promised her that we'd do a little housework while we're here."
"Aw, come on, Mist," Ash whined. "We have two weeks to get all that stuff done; why can't we relax a little first?"
"You have two weeks to relax," the redheaded girl retorted, thrusting a mop into his hands. "Now, we're going to work."
Ash scowled as he watched Misty relegate a series of chores to a far-less-annoyed Brock. Well, that makes sense, he thought. Brock's basically spent his entire life as a housekeeper; of course he doesn't mind this kind of thing. Ash, on the other hand, certainly did mind having his TV time cut into by a certain loud-mouthed, awkward, skinny redhead who really had no authority over him.
Not that she was really that awkward anymore, he noted with a sly glance in her direction. No, in the past few years, Misty had filled out very nicely, if he did say so himself. Not that he was exactly checking her out or anything, he mentally reassured himself; he was just a teenage boy, with all the raging hormones that came with the territory. Still, she was now very curvy, with her once-shoulder-length hair grown long, down to the middle of her back, in fact. Any guy would look at her. Yeah, that's it.
A swift knock on the head brought him down to earth-quite literally, as the force from the blow sent him falling face-first into the carpet. "Start working," Misty said in a tight, angry voice from her position above him. She sat down upon the sofa and watched him with an annoyed expression.
"And what exactly is your job?" Ash asked snidely, filling up a bucket in the sink and preparing to mop the kitchen floor.
"I am supervising."
"I'll frickin' supervise you," he muttered.
"I heard that!"
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Ash sighed and flopped down upon his bed. Misty had kept him and Brock busy with housework for four straight hours, finally allowing the two a break after Ash complained that his arms were going to fall off. "But just a little break," she had warned them. "You've still got to clean the bathrooms."
Power-tripping bitch… he thought angrily, placing a pillow over his face and enjoying the quiet darkness. Someone should really knock her down a peg or two… Beneath the pillow, a grin slowly spread across Ash's face. Jumping up from the bed, Ash tiptoed silently to the bathroom down the hall, where an unsuspecting Misty was currently taking a shower. Quietly humming the theme from Mission: Impossible, the dark-haired youth slowly turned the knob to the (surprisingly unlocked) bathroom. He choked a little on the excessive steam, then made his way to the towel rack, being as quiet as possible so as not to alert the showering girl behind the Jigglypuff-printed shower curtain to his presence. And now to carry out my cleverly-crafted plan…Shooting a darting glance back at the shower, he quickly yanked the towel off the rack and, stopping only to grab the spare towels from off the hamper in the corner and reaching in to grab the clothes she had been wearing, ran out of the room.
Misty had been in the middle of washing her hair when she heard the door quietly open. She was prepared to scream at the intruder when the flash of black revealed it to be Ash. Smirking inwardly, Misty continued her shower, allowing him to believe that his black T-shirt and cargo pants combo blended in perfectly with the bathroom's off-white décor. Really, she supposed she should be feeling a bit modest, having her best friend (and longtime crush) in the bathroom while she was in the shower, but after spending eight years on the road with him, sharing the closest of quarters, she couldn't bring herself to be shy. Besides, she thought a bit wickedly, if you'd want anyone to see you like this…Misty shook her head in disbelief. Had she really just thought that? About Ash?! She crossed her arms against her bare chest a bit self-consciously. Calm down, girl, she mentally chastised herself, reaching over to turn down the water temperature.
Misty began to rinse out the crème rinse when she saw Ash quickly pull her towel off the rack and quickly exit the bathroom with it and the other towels in the corner. "Ash!" she yelled furiously, jumping out of the shower with her hair still soapy and preparing to give chase before realizing her state of undress and diving back into the tub. "I'm gonna kill him!"
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Ash sat in his now-locked bedroom and glanced at the neatly folded towels, laughing aloud at the current situation. He realized that when Misty did catch up with him, as she most certainly would, he was as good as dead, but for now he was content to simply revel in the fact that he had finally one-upped her. Hell, maybe tomorrow she'd be able to laugh about this-assuming she wasn't still stuck in the bathroom.
"ASH!" Misty's furious voice called from the other side of the door. "Give me my towel right now or I swear to God, I will kill you!"
Ash began to make a semi-humorous retort before realizing that he had taken every towel in the bathroom, along with her dirty clothes. That was, of course, the point-to strand her in the bathroom with absolutely nothing to wear. He'd eventually stroll by and toss a towel into the room, but not before letting her sit for awhile. But now, she had exited the room on her own, which meant…
She's naked out there?! Ash rushed over to the door and tore it open, only to see a very angry (and very soaked) Misty-standing before him wrapped in the shower curtain, the cheerful-looking Jigglypuffs upon the clear plastic obscuring certain parts of her body from his view. "Towel. Now," she said through clenched teeth. "This plastic chafes."
"Chafes where?" Ash said wickedly, handing her a fluffy white towel. He was rewarded with a harsh slap for his efforts.
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Three o'clock in the morning. A loud series of snores emanated from Ash's bedroom, where the six-foot-tall Pokemon Master lay sprawled out upon his bed, mouth wide open. In his sound state of sleep he was unaware of the pajama-clad woman slowly making her way towards him, some kind of electronic device in her hands. Smirking, Misty kneeled next to his bed, setting the Walkman next to her and slipping the headphones onto his ears. She slowly slipped the tape, with the words 'VAN HALEN' written upon it in black marker, into the player and, stopping to turn the volume up as far as it could go, hit 'play' and ran out of the room.
Ash woke up with a start, his mouth open in a silent scream as he clutched the headphones to his ears in shock. Shaking from the sudden eardrum-shattering noise, he threw down the still-blaring headphones and breathed hard. "That…was not fun to wake up to," he said, panting. "Ugh…" His attention was suddenly drawn to the laughing figure standing in the doorway. "Huh?"
"Good morning, Ash," Misty said with mock-cheeriness, flipping on the light. "Enjoying a little light night music?"
"Misty!" he growled, launching himself out of bed and angrily striding over to her.
"Consider this payback for your little shower stunt earlier," she said with a smile, turning on her heel and starting back to her bedroom.
"Lemme tell ya, Mist," Ash yelled, running out into the hallway. "This is war! You hear me? To arms, I say!"
Misty still smiled. She stopped at her door and turned to regard him with an air of amusement. "Bring it on."
To Be Continued...