Announcer1: Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Indigo Plateau! Announcer2:Hey! Announcer 1 (they will henceforth be called A1 and A2): What? A2: you forgot to say something to introduce me! A1: [beep] you! A2: oh yeah? Well shut up you [beep]ing [beep] of a [beep]! Technician guy in the background says something but comes out in low and muffled tones since he is so far away from a microphone A1 & A2: right...kids are watching... Suddenly camera is blocked by a young kid who laughs and says Little kid: EXTREME CLOSEUP!!! Kid gets pulled away from camera and screeching can be heard in the background wailing about his chance to be on TV A1&A2: shut the- Technician says something from the background again. A1: okay, fine! A2: It's a wonderful day here in Indigo Plateau! Thousands of trainers came to- A1: who died and made you announcer? A2: you pretty soon if you don't shut the (technician again) All right, all right. A1: thank you A2: I wasn't talking to you! A1: well-(technician shouts) A2 glances at clock then turns to camera: We'll be right back after this short break! Please relax and enjoy our fifteen straight beer and car commercials that take a full minute each! Then be prepared for the best fight ever! *commercials* *commercials end* A1 is throttling A2, who is punching A1 in the...mid-leg section of the body in an attempt to make him let go. Technician says something, and A1 and A2 are hauled off, still fighting each other. They are replaced by Jessie, James, Meowth, who pounces at the microphone cord if it moves even slightly, for A1 and Gary Oak, Ash and Misty Ketchum (a/n *wink*), Brock Slate, Daisy Waterflower, and Pikachu, who thundershocks Meowth once in a while just for the fun of it, for A2.Meowth grabs the microphone and drawls into it in a deep voice Meowth: Ladies and Gentlemen! The moment you've all been waiting for...Misty Ketchum and Gary Oak get to make out! Jessie, James, Ash: You stupid feline! (all bop the cat on the head) Misty and Gary: (stare at each other, sickened by the thought of even touching the other, let alone kissing, let alone making out with each other) Daisy: (screams) This is like, so nice! It's like, you know, cute! The runt, like, gets to make out with the famous- Ash, while glowering at Gary: infamous Daisy: right, infamous Gary Oak! Pokemon Champion of the entire world! Ash: is it my fault Pikachu had a cold that day? Gary: (smirking) that wouldn't have kept me from taking it with me into battle Ash: Well your Espeon doesn't suddenly hiccup big bursts of Psychic energy randomly in your direction, now, does it? Gary: I always wondered how you got your hair to match mine. Gimme that Pikachu, you style-thief! Jessie, James, Meowth: PIKACHU IS OURS!!!! Gary: Ours, schmours! J and J, plus Meowth: glad you agree that it isn't yours or Ash's, and that it is ours! Daisy: (running in) Alright, I've got, like, the video camera, and, like, fifteen days worth of batteries, so, like, start making out already Crowd: (standing ovation, since they can see and hear everything going on up there) Ash: (sends his patented death glare 5,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 into the camera, and everyone shuts up pretty quickly) Gary: how did you get a patent on that anyway? Ash: I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill everybody in a half-mile radius Devil angel thing that looks suspiciously like Giovanni: Do it! Angel that looks suspiciously like Delia Ketchum appears on right shoulder: don't do it, Ash! Jessie: (moves the microphone towards her) Meowth: (jumps for the cord, and gets tangled up in it) Pikachu: (in an annoyed tone) Pika pik pik pik chu! [translation: quiet you [beep]ing excuse for a [beep]ing [beep]! (thundershocks Meowth, who is still attched to the cord, which is still attached to the microphone, and Jessie is still holding onto it) Jessie: (glaring at James while trying to settle down poofed-up hair) What say we stop going after that stupid Pikachu James: which one? Jessie: you know- Ash_Junior: (enters) Daisy: oh, like, its Misty and Ash's Kid! It's like, I didn't know you guys had- Ash J: (coughs) they haven't yet, even though they've been married for a full ten years. Gary: whoa! It's been that long and you still haven't done it yet? Misty: (glares at Ash) no Ash: you wanted to? How was I supposed to know?!?!?! Misty: why do I put up with you? Ash: because I'm cute? Misty: Gary's cuter! Gary: (puts arm around misty, starts groping) why, thank you Misty Ash J: Hey! This is not a PG-13 fic! Gary: really? In that case...(gropes much more vigorously) Misty: (bonks Gary on the head repeatedly with mallet) KNOCK IT OFF!!!! Gary: (grins weakly with what teeth are left at Ash) she wants me! Ash J: (tries to calm everyone down, but merely receives death glares) Guys! This is at most a PG fic! besides, I'm the writer, so I could write in Tracy! (everyone calms down and begins acting on their best manners) That's better...The next person who swears gets an anvil dropped on top of them Gary: you can't do that! Ash J: I'm the author, I can do whatever I please! Gary: darn, he didn't swear, so he doesn't get an anvil! Ash J: even if I did, I could rewrite it so I didn't Giovanni devil thing: aw, shut the [beep]- (anvil quickly crashes down on top of him) Ash: Cool! Delia angel thing: don't say that! Wait, its my arch enemy! Yay! Finally I'm free of the [beep]ing thing! (anvil crashes down) Ash J: Just so we understand each other (leaves) Misty: that was...odd... Crowd: YAH!!!! ANVIL STORM!!!! (anvils begin to crash down on many people, but seem to favor the teenagers in front who were lamenting their ill luck at not being able to see anything {to put it nicely}) Meowth: anyways, on to the show! In the red corner, we have Gary Oak, who is- Ash: (thwacks Meowth) that was your line ten years ago! Meowth: oh yeah, right! Thanks Ash J for paying for my speech lessons! Jessie: (thwacks Meowth) This isn't the closing credits yet! Meowth: oh...er...um...right! In the red corner, we have a young man by the name of Bob Smith. Wow, his parents were imaginative! random person in the audience: (gets a random microphone hooked up to a random sound system, which happens to be the one for the arena) I'm his dad, so shut the [beep] up! (anvil crashes down) Meowth: (ignoring mishap) and in the blue corner, we have the master of a thousand chess tournaments...wait...are these the right cue cards? I didn't think so...in the blue corner, we have the hot, and I do mean HOT- Erin's Arcanine: (Fire Spins Meowth) Meowth: YAHH!!!!!!!!!!!! We have Erin Slate, granddaughter of the scientist who made up the Pokedex. She has traveled far and wide to find us- Erin: (grabs a random microphone) You mean Mew teleported me here! Meowth: shut up! Who's announcing here? Erin: Pikachu should be! Pikachu: [pupa with u like two "O's"]! Meowth: aw, shut up! Gary: Man, would you look at her legs? She sure is a piece of eye candy! Ash and Gary: (duck the Flamethrower that was sent up to the booth yet again) Ash J: (enters again) all right, you guys, you had your chance. Erin is from one of my other fics in the making, and since you said that to everybody out there, you shall have your punishment! (Disappears in a cloud of smoke) Gary: (waves smoke away from face) you think that he tooted and blew himself up? Espeon: (pops out of ball and begins hiccupping randomly and sending random bursts of random Psychic energy randomly into Gary's face) {a/n get the feeling that I love putting random stuff in there randomly? All right, all right, I'm done for now} Gary: At least this is the only punishment ???: (appears in cloud of smoke and the fire alarm goes off) Crowd: Get on with the [bleep]ing fight! AUGH!!!! ANVIL STORM AGAIN!!!! Fireman: (appears in the doorway: all right, nobody leave the premises, nobody move! You're all suspects in my latest investigation! James: Who are you? Jessie: Yay! You made an intelligent question for once! This means that we're gonna hafta Partay!!!!!! Gary: YAY!!!! (moves hand towards Misty to begin groping, but hand gets smashed before it gets close) Misty: PERVERT!!!!!!!!!!!! Fireman: Harlow Doyle, Private Investigator!! Ash J: What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in an Adventure in Odyssey Fic I bet! I'm writing you out! Fireman: writing me out? That sounds awful suspicious to me! Everybody up against the wall and identify yourselves! (disappears) Tracey: (cheers) All but Tracey and Ash J: AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ash J: I warned you, didn't I? Daisy: so, was like, he, like the one, like, that appeared, like, in that, like, cloud of smoke, like, that, like, appeared, like, over, like, there? Ash J: (grins evilly) that was the first part of your punishment...that was Brock leaving...so now you're stuck with Tracey, and he'll be with you for the rest of the match...there will be no anvils for him... Giovanni thing: (regenerated) Oh [bleep] (gets the anvil treatment again) Tracey: (is distracted by Gary and Misty) OOH OOH!!! MISTY! HOLD STILL! I've gotta get this sketch of you and Gary together! Misty: (puzzled) what makes you think I'm with Gary? Gary: (pulls arm back from Misty's side and whistles innocently) Misty: PERVERT!!! (whacks Gary until all his teeth are out) Gary: (to Tracey) she wants me! Misty: (notices someone feeling her side again, and wheels around to find Ash doing it) Hi Ash! Wanna go into a back room or something? Ash: My pleasure! Meowth: but what about the match? (Gets ignored) Gary: (whistles at Daisy) looking good! Daisy: (pulls bigger version of Misty's Mallet out of nowhere and thwacks Gary on the head) Tracey: (whistles at Daisy) looking good!! Daisy: (melting) you think so? I've always thought that you were cute...an I talk to you privately? Tracey: (sweat begins to pour down face) s-s-sure... Daisy: Great! (hauls Tracey into another Back room) James: (pulls Jessie into yet another back room) Gary: (plaintively) what about me? Girls in audience: (scream in disgust and terror and stampede for the exits) Gary: and Meowth? Meowth: the only other Pokemon here is Pikachu...(looks at Pikachu) SICKO!!!!!! Pikachu and Meowth (attack Gary) Gary: oh [beep] (gets crushed by anvil) Meowth: (into the microphone) and we have a happy ending after all! Misty: DING DONG THE SICKOS DEAD! THE SICKO! THE CRUSHED SICKO! DING DONG THE NEMESIS IS DEAD!!!! Ash: YEAH!!! (everyone looks at them) uh...I'll be back in a bit...(pulls Misty back into back room) Misty: (muffled through door) OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! ASH!!!!! *nine months later* Ash: Our baby is prettier than YOUR baby! Jessie: NO WAY!!!! Ash: YES WAY!!! Daisy/Tracey: Ours is better than yours combined! Ash J: if you love geekiness, than yes. Meowth: (crushes Ash J with Anvil) Ash J: (rewrites story and reappears) Meowth: What the [beep]????? (gets crushed by anvil) Jessie/James: YAY!!! THAT DARN CAT IS GONE FOREVER!!!! Ash J: oops! (Rewrites fic) Meowth: I saw a bright light...I saw my sweetheart, I was just about to-(gets crushed by anvil) Jessie: what was that for? Ash K: You don't wanna know, but you do know, since you did what he was about to talk about nine months ago and got these babies out of the bargain! Jessie: My head hurts! WHOA! Ash K now? I thought it was just Ash J! Ash J/Ash K: (both straighten black suits and put on black sunglasses) Ash J: look into this little thing right here, and you'll forget you ever saw Ash K! Ash K: (hurries out) Ash J: (activates neuralizer) Misty: whose baby is this? ASH!!! YOU OWE ME A BIKE!!!! Ash J: (sighs and puts head in hands) I'm getting too old for this kind of thing! Delia Angel thing: Ashy boy! Don't forget to change your- Giovanni devil thing: (in crutches) Shut the [beep] up woman! (anvil crashes down) Ow! Now that hurt! Ash J: no...ya think so?? (sighs again) even my reflexes are shot now! *six months later* Misty: (screaming like only excited girls can) ASH!!! LITTLE GARY IS GONNA SAY HIS FIRST WORDS!!!! Ash: (comes running in with video camera) let's get it on tape, but I don't know why we had to name him after my nemesis! Baby: (looks at Ash and Misty then puts back head and bauls) ASH KETCHUM GIVE ME A BIKE THIS [BLEEP]ING INSTANT!!!! Misty: okay, since when was this our baby? Cerulean Gym Same scene Baby: ooh...Daisy that feels so good! Let's keep doing it from now 'til midnight! Tracy: hehe...(coughs) lets do it from now 'til midnight! Dasiy: (rising from couch) All right, let's go to my room! Random trainer: but I want my badge, and its only ten in the morning! Tracey: Precisely! Viridian City Gym Same scene Baby: I'M GONNA TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!! Jessie: (mutters) I'm glad I bought Daisy's mallet off of her...(runs down hall screaming her lungs off) GIOVANNI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The End!