A Civil Fight On The Julie Lake Show (Why you little beeeeeeep...) by Melody CAST: Julie Lake - the host Sandra Sharp - Ash's betrothed Ash Ketchum - the cheater Misty Waterflower - the other woman Brock Stone - some friend we dragged on for fun Pikachu - the innocent rodent (not!) Peachy (Sandra's Pikachu) - ... ahh, you don't wanna know *The corny music of The Julie Lake Show begins* Audience: Go Julie! Go Julie! Go Julie! (etc...) Julie Lake: Welcome to The Julie Lake Show, I'm your host - Julie Lake! Audience: Go Julie! Go Julie! Go Julie! (etc...) Julie: On today's show: Your Parents Say You Have To Marry Me. If I Find You've Been Cheating You're History. Audience: Cheaters! BOOOOOOO! Some weird old lady from the front: Cheaters! Julie : Hmpph... Today's guests are: Sandra Sharp Ash Ketchum Misty Waterflower and Brock Stone (Who we put on for no reason whatsoever!) *Ash, Brock and Pikachu walk on stage and sit in their assigned seats* Julie: Now, on with the show... *gets cut off by Brock* Brock : I only came on the show to see you Julie! Julie : That's nice... Anyway, Ash Ketchum is our cheater today, he has two girlfriends! Audience : CHEATER! CHEATER! CHEATER! CHEATER! Julie: Yeah, that's right... So Ash, why do you have two girlfriends? Ash: I don't, I mean... there are two girls that like me, but I only really like one of them. Julie: Well we have one of the girls waiting backstage... *Shouts at the door* COME ON OUT SANDRA! *The door opens and a tall blonde carrying a Pikachu walks down the stairs to sit in her assigned seat... next to Ash* Julie : This is Ash's betrothed girlfriend, on rights... his parents say he has to marry her. Tall guy with curly black hair: Stick to your honor young man! You better marry Sandra! Sandra: Don't BEEPING call me Sandra, call me Sandy! Julie: O.K. Sandy why don't you tell us why Ash should be your boyfriend. Sandy: Because he's mine, Misty can't have him and that's it! *Audience starts clapping* Julie: O.K. people, calm down. Audience: Boooooo! Julie: Boo me and I'll really give you something to boo!!!!! *Audience shuts up* Julie: Now we'll bring out Ash's other girlfriend. *Glances at the door* COME ON OUT MISTY! *The redheaded trainer comes down the stairs and sits on her assigned seat... on the other side of Ash* Julie: Now Misty, I'm gonna ask you the same question I asked Sandra.... *gets cut by Sandra... Oops I mean Sandy* Sandy: I told you not to BEEPING call me Sandra. Julie : Misty is Ash's friend who he met on the road. Misty: Yeah and he owes me a bike! Julie: Why do you think Ash should be your boyfriend? Misty: Because I know him better than anybody else - so there! *pokes her tongue out at Sandy* *Audience applauds Misty* Sandy: WHY YOU LITTLE BBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ash: Sandy please try and keep your cool! Julie: This is my show, I'm the only one who gets to swear! Sandy : WANNA TRY ME ?????!!!!! Julie : I'll be right... so Ash, which one of these girls do you actually like? Ash: Right now, I vote for Sandy cause she's cool! *Audience starts wolf-whistling and cheering* *Sandy blushes (Oh my God, the girl can blush?!)* Brock : What about me? Julie: Shut up Brock! *A loud crash is heard and Team Rocket fall through the roof* James : Why am I always the one that lands on the bottom? Jessie : Prepare for trouble! James: And make it double! Julie : Hey you there! You're gonna pay for the hole you made in my roof! Jessie : Don't interrupt the motto! *Jessie looks around at the cameras and starts gushing and posing* Sandy: Ahh, we meet again! James: AARRGGHHH! IT'S HER!!!! *Jessie looks around at the commotion and sees James and Sandy about to face-off* Jessie : You! Ash: What on earth?! Misty : You are SO dense Ash! Sandy: Come on James let's go!!! *reaches for a pokéball* Julie: This is a talk show, not a stadium! Sandy: Shut up! We're busy! Jessie: We're not here to fight you, we want get Pikachu! Brock: Which one? *Everyone looks around to see Pikachu humping Peachy (Gross out! Told you he wasn't innocent!)* Sandy & Ash: Peachy! / Pikachu! *they yell at the same time* Jessie : If we catch both of them, we can breed even more Pikachus! James: And then the boss will be twice as happy and give us a double bonus. Jessie: BONUS! *starts singing* We're gonna get a bonus! We're gonna get a bonus! Julie: SHUT UP! THIS IS MY SHOW! Sandy: Can we battle now? Misty: She's more anxious to battle than Ash! Ash: HEY! James: O.K. blondie bring it on! Sandy: It'll be my pleasure. I'm gonna win! *Jessie and James look at each other and both raise an eyebrow* *Sandy throws a blue and silver pokéball* Sandy: Pokémon, I choose you! *Typholosion pops out of the pokéball* Ash: Cool! I want one of them! Misty : You would... (Can you tell she's jealous yet?!) *James throws out Victrebell* James: Victrebell go! *Victrebell clamps onto James' head* James : Not me you stupid Pokémon, them! *Victrebell charges at Typholosion* Sandy: Typholosion! Use Flame Wheel! *Typholosion blasts Victrebell with its Flame Wheel and blows Team Rocket out the hole they came through* Team Rocket: We're blasting out of the studios again! Misty: They never learn! Brock: Sandy's cool! Ash: She's the best. *Brock and Ash gaze at Sandy with admiration... Misty glares at them with disgust* Misty: Neither do you... Julie: Now they're out of the way, on with the show! Audience: YEAH!!!!!!!! Julie: So Misty, why do you think Ash should be your boyfriend? Misty: Because I've known him the longest, I even met him before Brock did! Sandy: Umm, wrong answer! I've known him the longest, I AM the one betrothed to him you know. Misty : What?! Sandy: My parents knew his before we were born. Misty: Darn... Julie: Hmm... interesting. *Julie is clearly NOT interested* Well Sandy, did you know that Misty told us before-hand that she thought you were mean and you smell? Sandy: The LITTLE BEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Misty: I didn't say that!!! Julie: Sure, then why do we have this recording of you saying it? *The Sound Man plays the tape, sure enough 'Misty' is saying what Julie said* Misty: That's not me! It doesn't even sound like me! Ash: Sounded like you to me... Misty: WHAT?????!!!!!!!!!! Julie: Ahhh, well Sandy do you have anything to say back to Misty? Sandy: I BEEEPPPPPING DO! THE LITTLE BEEP HAS SEX WITH HER BEEEEEEEPPPPING PSYDUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Misty jumps out of her chair* Misty: WHAT?????!!!!!!!!!! Sandy: You heard me! Misty: Come on BEEP, bring it on! Sandy: Let's rumble! Audience: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! *Sandy and Misty walk into the middle of the stage* Misty: Your so ugly, no wonder Ash likes me better! Sandy: I'M UGLY?! HAVE YOU CHECKED A MIRROR LATELY YOU BEEEPING BEEEP! Misty: YOU'RE SO BEEPING UGLY, YOUR MOM HIDES ALL YOUR PICTURES SO SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE REMINDED OF YOUR BEEPED UP FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sandy: YOU'RE NOT JUST UGLY, YOU'RE BEEPING SCRAWNY TOO AND YOUR MOM THINKS YOU'RE SO SCRAWNY AND SO UGLY, SHE BURNS ALL YOUR BEEPING PICTURES SO SHE CAN'T BE REMINDED OF YOU AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!! *Sandy punches Misty in the stomach* Misty: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! *she screams in pain* Sandy: Hehehehehehehe! *Julie decides it's time to break it up* Julie: Security! Sandy: NO! We'll be good! Audience: BOOO!!!!! Julie: Shut up! Sandy: Cheer for me! Audience: Go Sandy! Go Sandy! Go Sandy! (etc... ) Julie : Anyone from the audience want to ask a question? Audience: ME! I DO! *Julie quickly escapes from her chair and runs to the audience* Short fat woman named Alicia: Why does the blonde chick want Ash so much? He's BEEPING ugly! Ash: HEY! I am NOT ugly, you are you fat BEEEEEEEPPPP! Julie: People please! No swearing at or from the audience. Ash: Oh shut the BEEP up you stupid talk show host! Audience: OHH! Now you've done it! Go Julie, Go Julie! *Julie charges towards Ash and proceeds to knock him to the ground and sits on top of him, so he can't move* Julie : Anymore questions? Ash : Will you get off me? Julie: No, I kinda like where I am at the moment. Sandy: Hey! I wanna play with Ash! Misty : I do too... Ash: Misty! What? Misty : Umm... ahhh... uurrrgh... umm... Julie : Oh shut UP you freak show clown with annoying red hair! Misty: I... *starts crying* *Ash desperately tries to wriggle out from under Julie to comfort her, but he fails* Ash: Misty! Don't cry. Julie: AH HA! So she's the one you like best!!!!!!! Sandy: Oh BEEP. Ash : Yes... Misty I love you. Audience: Ahhhhh. *they all sigh* Misty: Really? Ash: Yes really. Sandy: Double BEEP. *Julie lets Ash up and he runs to Misty* Ash: I'm sorry about all those names I called you. Misty: I'm sorry too. Ash: Misty... Misty: Ash... *The two start kissing while Sandy gets angrier and angrier* Sandy : You told me if I got them on the show you'd make sure Ash would pick me! Julie: I'm a Talk Show host, I was only in it for the ratings. Sandy: Triple BEEP. Brock: Don't worry Sandy, you can go out with me! Sandy : AAAAAAHHHHH!! *Ash and Misty disappear into the back room. Noises can be heard...* Julie : That's all we have on the show today, tune in next week for My Best Friend Is A Lesbian And There's Nothing You Can Do About It Mom! *The corny music from the beginning of the show plays again and the credits roll* Julie : See you all next time! *Sandy can be seen in the background cursing* END OF PART 1