2nd
point of view.
Disclaimer:
I dont own any fairy-tales.
Summary:
The Big Bad Wolfs side of the story...
Note:
This is NOT a Pokιmon story. I once read a book at my school library which was the
three little pigs, from the wolfs POV. Im just sorta building on that...
Okay, Ive heard folks in my situation sometimes write books
detailing how they got there, so I figured I might as well too.
My name is Ulric. Ulric Wolff. Yes, thats
right, Im
a wolf, okay? In fact, Im THE wolf. You know those stories your parents told you
when you were little? About the Big Bad Wolf who was gonna get you if you didnt
do as you were told? Well, thats me. The thing is, nobody ever asked me for MY side of the
story. Maybe after I tell you what REALLY happened, I wont
seem like such a bad guy after all...
One day, I was walking through the woods when I realized I
was starving. I couldnt find anything, and as I was trying to remember which
leaves were poisonous, I remembered that there was this little old lady who
lived out by the edge of the woods. She sometimes left food out for the local
animals, and I was kinda banking that there was something there for me to eat
too. Or at the very least, a squirrel who wasnt paying attention... So,
anyway, I wandered over there.
Along the way, I met this little girl, warned her to be
careful going through the forest alone, and continued on my way. When I got to
the old girls cottage, I discovered that there wasnt
any food out today. But the back door was open a bit. Now, I know better than
anybody that these woods are filled with more than just cute, and tasty, little
woodland creatures. Some of my cousins have some serious anger management
issues... So, concerned, I push the door open and went inside to see if the old
lady was okay. After all, we are neighbours, in a way.
Anyway, long story short, the next thing I know, Im
being arrested for breaking and entering with intent to eat, stalking a minor,
and, well... something about cross-dressing... dont
ask... Ahem. Moving on. Turns out the old lady was okay, she had just gone to
play Bingo down the road, and was in such a hurry, she didnt
close the back door properly. When the police realized that it was just a big
misunderstanding, they released me. But my name was mud in that forest. I had
to move.
Not long after, I had just gotten settled into my new place,
I heard that my dear old mum was sick. I figured, hey, I just got this brand
new oven, Ill bake her a cake, cheer her up. Thing is, I was fresh out
of sugar. So, I figured it might be a good time to try and get to know my new
neighbours, and borrow a cup of sugar while Im at it. Now, in hindsight,
maybe I shouldnt have been doing any cooking when I wasnt
feeling that great myself. But I thought it was just a small case of the
sniffles, like maybe I was allergic to something. Or maybe it was the fact that
my nearest neighbour had built his house out of straw. Can you believe it?!
That what you get from not having opposable thumbs...
So, I knocked on the guys door, but when he opened it,
he took one look at me, squealed and slammed the door in my face before I could
even say hi. I knock again, but the only reply I got was something about having
to shave... Thats when I felt a major sneeze coming on, it must have been
the straw, and before I could stop myself, I sneezed so hard, I blew the house
away. After a quick check, I found the pig, that is to say, my former
neighbour, but there wasnt anything I could do. Who would have thought straw could be
so deadly... Anyway, my mother raised me to never waste good food, even if its
your neighbour, so naturally, I ate him. After all, I am a predator.
Afterwards, I went to the next house, because I still wanted
to make that cake. This guy was a bit smarter, but not by much, as he built his
joint out of sticks and twigs. A real fire-trap if I ever saw one. Turns out I
was right... I knocked, he squealed and slammed the door, and I think he said
something about being in the middle of shaving... Pigs, go figure... and once
again, before I could do anything about it, I sneezed again. Even harder than
before. Now, the pig must have had a fireplace or something in there, because
when the place came down it burst in to flames. When they had died down a
little, I ventured in to check and see if hed escaped. Now, Im
sure youll
agree, good roast pork is expensive these days...
Feeling a little bloated, I went to knock on the third door.
This guy must have been the brains of the outfit, because hed
built a lovely brick house. The place probably had hot and cold running water.
I know it had electricity at least, because hed already called the local
police... This time, my knocks were ignored, and just as I was suffering from a
terrible sneezing fit, the police showed up and arrested me. Thankfully, the
house stayed up. I definitely couldnt
eat another bite...
So, here I am. Sitting in a cell, serving a life sentence
over one little cup of sugar. My mother never did get her cake... Oh well, at
least my sniffles have gone... Oh, no... Ah, ah, ACHOO! Great, now the page is
wet...
That turned out kinda okay... in case you
were wondering, the font is called Fang
Song. I figured it might fit the whole wolf
thing. Like it? Hate it? Whatever... flames will be used to roast little
piggies... Mwahahahahaha! I like ham...
Okay, obviously, Ive run out of inspiration,
as this, and the previous posting were back-up stories for when I had nothing
else. So, this will be my last story for a while. Ill be taking a break from
posting fics on the Tower to finish off some that I started, but never got
around to finishing off, ya know? When I return, itll
be under a new name, PROFESSOR WOLFSBANE, so look out for that. Cheers J
AUSSIE WOLF.
11-May-08.
(finished fic)
30-Oct-08. (posted)