The unusual trio of Ash, Misty, and Brock were headed towards Gringy City, hoping to do something about the pollution there. They grumbled about it as they walked along. "Argh! They really should get the FDA after that city!" Ash commented. "FDA? Don't you mean HHS?" Misty corrected. "How about SOB?" Brock suggested. "You freak! That's not an organization! It's a word!" "So, what is it?" Brock asked. "I know, lets ask Team Rocket!" declared Ash. "When will they show up?" Misty asked. "Early in the story! Maybe a few pages down!" the other mused. "Ash, that's EARLY?" Brock asked. "I mean, a few parts down!" Ash answered. "WHOSE PARTS?!" Misty demanded, eyes on fire. "I meant parts of the STORY, not YOUR parts!" The other answered. "Ash, you are a sick-minded, disgusting---" "No, the author is!" "AGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!" Misty screamed. When they arrived there, though, they were seriously sidetracked. "Hey, what's that above our heads, Brock?" "I don't know, Ash. I can't read it! It's------whoa!" The brown-haired Poke`mon Trainer strained his neck towards the mysterious object, and fell backwards, landing on Misty's two large (CRASH). "Get off of me, you pervert! AAAHHHHHH!!" Misty shoved Brock off, who landed on Pikachu. "PIKAAAAAACHUUUUU!!!" Brock was fried considerably, and then, without warning, the Squirtle Fire Departement rushed to the scene, using Bubblebeam on the "fire". While he choked on all that water, Misty had joined Ash on his never-ending quest to find out what was above their heads. They finally caught sight of it, and during the next five hours, attempted to read it. "Lame Attempt by Blue9Tiger Legal Stuff: Poke`mon or Pocket Monsters is copyright of Nintendo, GameFreak, CREATURES, 4KidsEntertainment, and so on....................Any similarity to any other fanfic is accidental, coincidental, and unintentional. If anyone finds that to be so, e-mail meeeee at Blue9Tiger@aol.com, but otherwise, don't copy or change this, thank you. No flames or bashing, please! Thanks. This is a VERY ameteur and nonprofit story. Now, enjoy my second attempt at a Poke`mon humor thing, just as a break from the seriously dramatic (yeah, right! dramatic as Tommy's dad dying in the chopper crash) "And the Rocket's Red Glare". Heh. Well, anyway, enjoy reading, and......about the personalities, DON'T COMMENT. To make things funny, things must be warped! I assure you, this is funnier than my first one, Half-Inch. Rated: PG. Prepare to witness a writing style completely contrasting to my original. They haunt every fan-fic ever written. They seep into your homes, they creep into your computer, they are an unstoppable virus. They frighten everyone reading them. They annoy anyone who writes them, except the one who is writing this one. This is a special one, more warped, twisted, deadly, and destructive than all the rest. This one is: LEGAL STUFF! BWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAA------HHHHHHAAAAAAAAAA--- HAAAAAAAAA!! The ultimate disclaimer that will make even a mute person scream in fright!!!" started: 1/27/00 restarted: 4/22/00 finished: 4/23/00 modified from: "4/23/00-?" modified again: 6/12/00 Misty groaned, and then started to complain. "What's this?! That weird thing that was written spoiled the beautful, crystal-clear view of Gringy City!" "You wish, Misty," answered Ash. "Gringy City is sludgier now that (splat) "Pika......" "Ash, why did you dye your hair purple?" Misty asked. "Mmmm-mmm-mmmm-mmm!" "Eww, you're eating your hair?" Ash succeeded in prying off the Grimer from his face, and remarked, "Well, Misty...who ate YOUR hair, a--------a--------Arbok?" "That wasn't funny! Besides, its AN Arbok." "Says who?!" Ash demanded. "Says any idiot!" Misty answered. "Well, I'm an idiot!" He retorted. "Hey, wait, speaking of idiots....." Two teenagers with R's sewed on their shirts bounded into sight, accompanied by a Meowth. "Prepare for trouble!" "And make it triple!" (SLAM) "Ow......why did you hit me?" James wondered. "It's DOUBLE, not TRIPLE!" Jessie raged. James shook his head, and argued, "Technically, Meowth is part of our team." "Hey, 'dats right!" "You're not supposed to say that, yet!" Jessie snarled. "We wanted to ask you a question, Team Rocket," Misty proposed. "Okay.........but make it quick!" Snarled Jessie. "Which organization should be sent after Gringy City?" Ash asked. "Um.........I don't know............" They looked at each other. "Was it the NIH or the AAA, James?" "I don't know. I think it was the IBBAA!" "What kind of an organization is that?!" she bellowed. "Indigo Big Bra Appreciation---" (SLAM) "EEEEEEEEEEEE! Can you make it (bam) instead of (slam)?" "What's the difference?! They should both hurt!!!" "Well, (bam) has less letters in it, so it hurts less!" "How would you know?!" (BAM) "See? Now I only have a tension, not a migraine!" Just then, Misty figured it out. Her eyes sparkled with delight, so bright that a ship mistook her for a landing point. "Land.........!" cried the ship's lookout. "Wait, no! I'm not land-----OW!" Misty screeched. The boat landed on Misty's head, and she screamed, forgetting the organization, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!", loud enough to attract Officer Jenny. "You're under arrest." The girl's jaw dropped. "For WHAT?!!" "For disturbing the peace!" "What peace?! Gringy City is anything but peaceful, with those people screaming their heads off about the smoke and gas and sludge in their houses!" "That's true, so maybe I should arrest everyone there including myself! I had my radio too high last night! Thanks for telling me, kid! The world'll be safer with us in jail!" All present groaned, and as Jenny roared off in her motorcycle, bound in handcuffs, she crashed into a house. "OW! I'm a multiple offender! Defacing property!" "That officer should get a brain transplant," Jessie observed. "Yeah, she lacks more cerebrum than Ash!" Misty remarked. "No I don't! Uh......what is it?" Brock was all red, so he couldn't answer him at the moment. Ash's electric rodent sighed, sharp ears down. Togepi was beside him, eating its face. "Chuuuuuu...Pikaaaaaaaaaa....." We came here to see the pollution rate.......... "Togggggggiiiii-prrrrrriiiiiiiiii!" Yum, yum, yum! "PIKAAAA! Pika-chu-Pika-ka, Pikachu?" Togepi! What are you doing! "Priiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!" It chirped. I'm eating myself! Softboiled is always good! "Togepi, what are you trying to do?!" Shreiked Misty. By this time, half of the Egg's face was gone. "Oohhhhhh........sliced eggs!" James grabbed a napkin, fork, and knife, about to fall on Togepi. "Togggiiiiiiiiiiiiii!" Yum.........yummmmm........ "Togepiiiii, stop that!" Misty ordered, grabbing a hammer and pounding its teeth out of its mouth. It boiled furiously. "Togiiiiiiiiiiiiii........." Why you..................... It beat Misty, enough to make her say, "Ouch..........that REALLY hurt. You are SO strong, Togepi. NOW GET OFF ME!" Jessie and James groaned, and slapped their gloves down on their faces. "This is truly........." "............pathetic." "Wait, we haven't finished our motto!" Shouted Jessie. This time, say it RIGHT!" "Prepare for trouble!" "And make it DOUBLE!" "To protest the world's devestation!" "JESSIE!!!" "Wait, that's MY line!" "'Dose kids'll get away if you two don't stop actin' like a big buncha stupid....." "What are you three fighting about, anyway?" Asked Brock. "Well, why are YOU here, anyway?" "We're trying to get rid of the pollution in Gringy City!" Ash yelled. Jessie comprehended, and shouted, "Then send that organization after them!" "We can't remember the name!" Misty countered. "It could be the SMDA, for Short Midrift Destroyers Agency......" "Why you.....yours is shorter!...." "I have something under it!" "Its slit down the middle!" The two girls fought, and rolled down a hill towards Celadon City, the disclaimer following them. "Ow........where are we?" Asked Misty. "I'M in Celadon, but YOU'RE probably on Pluto!" "If I was on Pluto, I'd be dead!" "Ha-ha! That was the point!" "You're about as funny as a frowning Weezing." "And you're about as smart as a five-month old Slowpoke! Weezings ALWAYS FROWN!" "No they don't!" "Name one example!" "Okay..........at a Poke'mon freak show, there was one!" "Rghhhhhhhhhhhhh.............." Back at Gringy City, Ash, Brock, and James sat down. "What were we going to do again?" "I forgot. It said what were we supposed to be doing in the first paragraph!" "Well, when was the first paragraph?!" "It was several paragraphs ago!" "Very funny, Brock." "Chuuuuuuuuu--------Pikaaaaaaaaa-------ka!" We're trying to get rid of the pollution! Why do I get the feeling this plot wasn't authorized by Mr. Tajiri? There was only a quarter left of Togepi, and it cried because it still wasn't full (get the pun). Ash thought, and said, "Hey, I know! You can eat Brock! He's nice and juicy!" "What makes you so sure?" "The girls eat you for lunch! Ha, ha!" "Very funny, Ash. How about Togepi eats you? Misty has you for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack......" After five hours......... ".........midnight snack, post-midnight snack, pre-midnight snack, mid-afternoon snack, post......" "Really funny, Brock. You're as funny as a smiling Koffing." "You're about as smart as a-----wait, wasn't this joke used by the girls, already?" "Well, the way they act, they could be boys!" Jessie and Misty stormed back to Gringy City, and pounded Ash's faee so far in he couldn't find it. "Hey, James! Brock! Can you help me find my face?" "Not unless you can find your brain!" James cracked. "That wasn't funny! I can't find my face! Where's my face?! Pikachu, can you help me find my face?" "Chuuuuuuuuu........." It's on your head, Ash. "Really? Oh, thanks. I found it." "Now I remember! We wanted to get rid of that thing in the sky!" "No, before that!" "Oh, I forgot.........oh, we wanted to stop the pollution in Gringy City!" Jessie and Misty walked about Celadon, and disclaimers had multiplied throughout the city. "Hmm, look at what trouble it's causing!" Jessie laughed. "Yeah, disclaimers annoy the heck out of everyone! Hey, look! One's so long it's taking a guy this whole story to read!" Misty shouted. "You are not good at humor," Jessie stated. "I'm not?" the former asked. "That's what I've been trying to tell you this whole (car runs over a Geodude) fanfic!" "What's a fanfic?" Misty asked. "You know.........I don't really know........" They both sighed, and finally decided to have a Poke'mon Battle. "Staryu, go!" She threw the Ball, and out popped a sign that read, "Out to Lunch". "Allright, then......Starmie, go!" "Out to Dinner". "Horsea?" "Out to Brunch". "Goldeen?" "Out to Breakfast". "RGG! Togepi!" "Out to my shrink." "Ugh............Psyduck......." "Out to Bellvue." "Ha-ha-ha-ha!" Jessie laughed triumphantly. "Arbok, go!" A tape recorder popped out, playing, "Yellow Submarine", by the Beatles. (please don't sue!) :( "We all live in a yellow subma------" "No, we live in a blue one in the first season and a red one in the second season!" Screamed Jessie. "A yellow---" A defect was in the tape, and then it played, "A yellow water stream........" Jessie kicked the tape recorder, and sent out Lickitung. "Lickitung, go!" "Licki.........Lick-Lick.........Lick........Lick-Lick-Lick-Lick- LICKKKKKKKKKK!!!" We all live in a yellow sub----- "SHUT UP!!!!!" The boys suddenly appeared, screaming in fright at the gigantic disclaimers chasing them around Celadon City and causing a gigantic ruckus and annoying everyone they passed by and in doing so making this sentence extremely long so it would sound like Cassidy in "Breeding Center Secret" and making me look like a complete fool but I don't care because I love annoying you readers that would rather read a nice, short fanfic that doesn't look like this and is much more sensible and possibly having lemons or pineapples or grapes or apples or kiwi or peaches or mango or bananas or lime or lemon or orange or strawberries or grapefruit or watermelon (narrator is silenced with a Remington, and the rest of the story goes on without narration, and no one is able to tell who's who until THE END is posted) "Prepare for trouble!" "And make it double!" "To PROTECT the world FROM devestation!" "To unite all peep holes within our nation!" (BAM) "What did I do, Jess?" "PEOPLES, NOT PEEPHOLES!" "You're never going to capture Pikachu if you don't quit saying that!" "How would you know, little girl? Are you in direct contact with the staff?" "What staff?" "THIS STAFF!" (BAM) "Okay, that's it, Jessie! I'm calling-----uhhhhhhh, ummmmm.........." "Your DADDY?" "I don't have one!" "Oh, then you're a b------" "Okay, YOU ARE DEAD!!!!!" BASHSMASHCRACKBIFFWHACKSCRATCHSLASHCUTFURYSWIPE "OWWWWW! Where do you grow your nails, an electric pencil sharpener?!" "Little girl, I don't have nails!" "Prepare for trouble!" "And make it double!" "To protect the world from devestation!" "To unite all PEOPLES within our nation!" "To denounce the weevils of truth and love!" "What are weevils?" "I don't know, but both the disclaimers in Celadon and the pollution in Gringy City are extending their reach to the stars above!" "Jessie!" "James!" "Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light!" "Surrender now or prepare-----wait, damn it, you got it wrong, Jessie!" "Damn? We are not in the Japanese version!" "Now we are, White hole, shiroi ashita ga---maté, shimatta.....!" (BAM) "The disclaimers are scaring the twerps. Now we can nab Pikachu!" "First we'll get rid of these things! I choose you, Snorlax. "Snoooorrrrrrrrr......." You know I'm not supposed to be here. I'm in the second season. You know, with Tracey? "Who's Tracey?" "Snorrrrrrrrrrrr........." Tracey is the weird kid that looks like he was born yesterday. "Hey, I wasn't! I'm sixteen!" "Snorrrrrrrrr......lax?" What's that? You're SIX? "No, I'm SIXTEEN! Six-year-olds can't train Poke'mon!" "Laaaaaaaaaaaaxxxxxxxxx........Snorrrrrr?" You don't! You train aliens from outer space! "That wasn't funny! Venonat, go!" "Waaaaaahhhhhhhh! Go back to the Orange Islands! We're not supposed to see you for a year! Move your big butt out of here!" "Snor......Snor........Snorrrrrr........" "I REMEMBER NOW!" Screamed Misty. "It's the EPA!" "Evolution of Poke'mon Agency?" Ash asked. "NO! Ash, NOW I FORGOT IT!" "Uh.........Misty.........that doesn't exist on Indigo........" "WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT??????????????!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "Then we'll have to------" "Well, I don't know about you, twerps, but WE'RE going to finish our motto!" "Prepare for trouble!" "And make it double!" "To protect the world from devestaiton!" "To unite all peoples within our nation!" "To denounce the evils of truth and love!" "To extend our reach to the stars above!" "Jessie!" "James!" "Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light!" "Surrender now, or prepare to fight!" "Meowth, 'dats right!" Suddenly, a big plane came with a banner reading, "They got it right!" "YOU"RE NOT FUNNY!" Screamed Jessie. "The funny corporation. We put the "fun" in "funny". screamed someone in the airplane/ "That's STILL not funny!" "We are so funny that an English soldier will laugh!" "That's as impossible as waking up a Snorlax!" "You're not funny!" "We're nasty, not funny!" "Nasty?! AGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!" The freaky plane flew away, and Ash, Misty, and Brock went to each of the towns, trying to figure out what was the organization. In Pallet Town: "Mom, do you know what the organization that tries to look after the enviroment is called?" Ash asked. "Ask your father, dear." "Where is he?" "I don't know." "What do you mean?" "I don't know where he is!" "Who is he, anyway?" "I DON'T KNOW! WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?!" "SO I CAN ASK HIM!" "He either.........fell off a cliff, was killed by Rockets, killed by Poke'mon, became a Poke'mon Trainer, became a Poke'mon Master, became the Viridian/Team Rocket Leader, or was just erased from the story in order to create room; he might have been really fat." "Uh.........run that by me, again!" "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! GO ASK PROFESSOR OAK!" Several minutes later............ "Professor Oak, do you know what the organization that tries to look after the enviroment is called?" "Uh........I don't know......ask your Rival." "Which one? Gary or Richie?" "Gary." "Gary, do you know what the organization that tries to look after the enviroment is called?" "Huh?" "YOU'RE STUPID!!" Screamed Ash. "LOOK WHO'S TALKING!" "YOU DON'T KNOW THE ORGANIZATION!!" "NEITHER DO YOU!" "Oh, you got a point there." "ARGH! Ask.........my sister." "Gary's sister......." "My name is....May in manga......" "What's your ANIMé name?" "............." "You don't have a name?" "No.........(sob) (wail) (cry) Mr. Tajiri forgot to give me one! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Ash, Misty, and Brock quickly lit out of there, Misty lighting her shorts in the process. "OOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!" "You scream like a girl," commented Brock. "I AM A GIRL." "YOU SURE?! SHOULD I HAVE YOU DNA TESTED?!" (CRASH) "owwwwwwwww........." "Why are you groaning in lower case letters?" "'Cause half the story's in CAPITAL LETTERS!" "Oh, true........." "C'mon, you guys! We 'gotta get to Viridian City!" "We're on the road to-----(CRASH)" Days later........ "Uh, Old Man, do you know the organization......" "No." "I didn't finish...." "No." "Sir..." "No." "You're no hel---" "Yes." "GO AWAY!" "You came to see me in the first place." "NOW you talk! When we've 'gotta move on to Viridian Forest 'cause we've been allotted a certain amount of time for each city!" "Viridian Forest isn't a city, Ash!" "Sorry." (A few dead Bug Catchers later, that weren't dead before Ash asked them..........) "We're in Pewter City! Lets ask the obnoxious and mean and girl-crazy and old farty Leader of the Pewter City Gym!" "I'm right here, you idiot! And I'm only fifteen!" "Oh, yeah........lets ask Flint, then?" "Which one? Captain Flint......" (don't sue me, R.L.S.!) :( "NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR GOOD-FOR-NOTHING-FATHER-THAT- NEVER-CAME-BACK-UNTIL-RECENTLY!" "Ash, you have too many hyphens." "WHAT'S IT TO YOU?!" "I took English Teacher pills." "WAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" (On to Mount Moon..).... "Super Nerd......" "Don't call me Super Nerd!" "Why not?" "Call me-----Hyper Nerd (fanfare)" "Uh......." "What's the difference?" . "Super Nerd is dumber than me." "But a Super Nerd is supposed to be here!" "No, his contract ran out." "I think you're both dumb!" "Why you------uh, trigonometric hater!" "You can't insult well." "The mass of your breasts is equal to the surface area of Cinnabar Island." "YOU DIE!!!" Cerulean City........ "Lets ask the big-breasted, obnoxious, screechy, bratty, self-centered, ugly, weird-haired Leader of the Cerulean City Gym!" "WHY YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!" (Several mangled Ashes later.....) "Bill!" "I'm a Kabuto." "Bill, do---" "I'm a Kabuto." "Bill, do you-----" "I'm a Kabuto." "Bill, do you know of-----" "I'm a Kabuto." "He doesn't know, Ash. Lets get out of here." "How would you know that he doesn't know?" "Because I'm-----Bill in disguise!" "Waaaaaaaaaauuuuuughhhhh!" "Wait, Ash! I was just kid---" (SMASH) (Vermillion........Lavender......Celadon......Saffron.....Fuschia......pass..... .now onto Seafoam Islands! ) "Great Articuno, do you know of--" "I'm not great Articuno. Great Articuno you need at least 50 Great Balls to capture." "Then what kind of Articuno are you? (insert musical notes)" "I'm---Super Articuno!" "There's no such thing as Super Ball, just Super Potion!" "I'm Super Potion Articuno! When I attack you, you need a Super Potion to heal yourself! I appear once throughout every five-hundred re-started games, because my Attack is so weak and Defense so low!" "Who's Great Articuno, then?" "You need 50 Great Balls to capture Great Articuno!" "WHERE'S GREAT ARTICUNO?!" "Discussing business with Poke'Articuno, Articuno, Hyper Articuno, Ultra Articuno, Master Articuno, Max Articuno, and GS Articuno!" "You make no sense! Why do you talk?" "I "borrowed" Mewtwo's psychic power!" "He won't be too happy." "YOU! HOW DARE YOU! PSYCHIC ATTACK!" "AAAAAAWWWWWRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKK!!!!!" Cinnabar Island a few dead Articuno later........ 'Blaine?" "Ha!" "Blaine, do you know---?" "Ha!" "Can't you answer me?!" "Technically, once you've beaten a Trainer, they don't talk business to you anymore. So I shouldn't be talking to you at all!" "Waaaaaaaauuuuughhhhhh! Misty and Brock talk to me!" "They're physical mutations!" "Hey, look, Blaine! Disclaimers are attacking your Trainers!" "AAAAAAhhhhh!! My precious Super Nerds!" Viridian City...... "Lets go ask the Viridian City Gym Leader!" Suggested Ash. They banged on the door. "Ash." "Yeah?" "According to popular rumor........I am your father. (insert dramatic musical notes)" "WAAUUUUUUGHHHHHHHH!! NO! THAT'S NOT TRUE! YOU'RE LYING!" "Lets GO, Ash!" Misty screamed. "By the way, do you know the name of the organization that tries to control the enviroment?" "The Enviromental Protection Agency. What is it?." "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!" Back in Gringy City, Ash, Misty, and Brock realized that they would not be able to stop the pollution, since the EPA didn't exist on Indigo Island, so they went to Celadon City to get rid of the Disclaimers, which had grown a word longer. THE END (Not quite! Jessie and James did not finish their motto!) "Meowth came in late! We have to start over!" "Please, Jess! It's a waste of breath!" Meowth pleaded. "How come you're so full of it?" "Meowww.........." "Okay, one more time!" James shouted. "Prepare for trouble!" "And make it double!" "To protect the world from devestation!" "To unite all peoples within our nation!" "To denounce the evils of truth and love!" "To extend our reach to the stars above!" "Jessie!" "James!" "Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light!" "Surrender now, or prepare to fight!" "Meowth..........'dats right!" "You came in late, again!" Jessie shouted. "If you did it right, we would've won that poetry contest!" "MEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!! 'Da ozone's gettin' ta youh heads!" "Ozone? Lets get out of here!" "Lets get to Celadon so we can get rid of the Disclaimers that are trying to extend their reach to the stars above!" "Jessie!" "James!" "OKAY! ENOUGH!" Screamed Ash. "It's......the end, already!" "No! It was a fake "The End"! The story goes on for several more milleniums!" "WAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHH! Longer than those Disclaimers?" "Longer." (Ash faints, screen goes black, To Be Continued is on the screen.....audience jeers and throw tomatoes at Ash. Throws roses at Team Rocket) Pikachu sighed, "KA! PIKACHU! PIKA! KAAAAAA!" I only got one freaking cameo! Who's the author of this thing?! I'll kill 'im! I'll Thunder! No, Thundershock! No, Static Bolt! "Mr. Pikachu, Static Bolt is weaker than Thunder." "CHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!" I'll show you a Static Bolt! Argh! With that large Static Bolt, all the Disclaimers were shortened to a few sentences, except for.............LEGAL STUFF! BWAAAAAA----- HAAAAAAAAHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" (Seriously) The End CQS? What do you think? My second comedy, hopefully more funny than my first. Please put in any input! Now I welcome flames for this, I would be happy to counter them! See you later!