The Retelling of Pokemon Colosseum By Bobandbill Hello all. This is my take on the game Pokemon Colosseum - ‘tis a comedy and an ‘explanation’ for all of the stuff you DIDN’T see. For example, why did Wes destroy the Team Snagem hideout in the first place? Why did Rui just ‘accept’ the fact that Wes was part of Team Snagem in the first place as if it was a minor detail? How come do the NPC’s whom you snag shadow Pokemon from not give a second thought about the loss of their Pokemon? What’s up with Miror B’s hair anyway? And why, oh why do several characters have the inability to change facial expressions??? …Anyway, I shall attempt to answer at least most of those questions - and more - with my own retelling of the Pokemon Colosseum storyline. I’ve put this story up previously on Serebii Forums and Fanfiction.net as well - decided to get things up to date on other places like here and conquer the world with my fic. ;) If you want to know how the story goes in the first place, the setting, etc, you could either play the game Pokemon Colosseum (more details in this should make more sense) or at least read a brief walkthrough of the game. Anyway, here goes. Prologue - Rebellion Somewhere in the middle of the vast expanse of the harsh Orre desert, a wild Skarmory was flying back to its nest. It had been hunting for its breakfast, but again was unsuccessful in its quest for food. It was not because this Skarmory was no good at looking for food. On the contrary, it was an achievement that it had survived for so long in the barren region. However, the population of wild Pokemon had recently decreased even further below the modest number it normally was, and all due to one newcomer. Team Snagem. In Skarmory’s humble opinion, all the trouble started when that good-for- nothing stupid man with funny pointy hair coming out from around his nose and eyes showed up near his nest and started building big gray buildings. And then he brought in Pokemon and… No, that didn’t bear thinking about. The wild Skarmory tried to think about other things. Like how to impress that female Skarmory near his territory… Suddenly it spotted something out of the corner of his eye. Circling once, it then suddenly dropped like a stone towards the object, which wasn’t hard for the Steel/Flying type. “Skarr!” (You’re mine!) With a peck, it made quick work of the baby Trapinch which had strayed too far from its nest. The Skarmory then scooped up the Trapinch in its mouth and with another cry of ‘Skarr!’ it flew off with renewed energy towards his nest. *** Meanwhile, the previously mentioned man with ‘funny pointy hair’ - otherwise known as Gonzap - was expressing his displeasure at a young teenager in a blue coat. He was a bald man with a large stature - but a main distinguishing feature was his pointy moustache, and his long eyebrows. Nobody made jokes about that though. Leastways, nobody would have dared when Gonzap was around. “So that’s all you could muster? Two Voltorb? First Jacob comes back and brings a Dunsparce of all things, and now this!” “Sorry, but that’s all I could find in the house. The trainer must have left a while ago, and those were the only ones there.” replied the teenager. “But I specifically told you to snag that Charmander! Or didn’t you know the difference between those two?” sneered Gonzap. The teenager’s Umbreon started to growl at Gonzap. "Umbre!" (Shut up, Mr Moustache Eyebrow man!) “Quiet, Umbreon.” said the teenager. Meanwhile Gonzap looked thoughtfully at the dark-type Pokemon, while twirling his moustache between his fingers. “Hmm, on second thoughts, they can be the new Shadows.” “Huh - what?” “Espeon and Umbreon. They certainly would do better than a couple of Voltorb that probably don’t even know Spark.” “But, but…” “I expect to see you hand them in to my desk in 10 minutes - plenty of time to say farewell.” smirked Gonzap. “You can dispose of the Voltorb, Wes. Unless you want to keep them!” With that Gonzap laughed, turned and left. How could he do this to me? thought Wes. After my years, well, months of service, after all the things I helped them with, he still insults me! True, I don’t snag that much, and I’m not much of a criminal, but now he simply expects me to give up my two and only Pokemon to become Shadow Pokemon??? And for who? I don’t even know what they do with Shadow Pokemon!! Wes angrily threw a stone at a wall. He gazed at Umbreon, and then Espeon sitting in one of Team Snagem’s few methods of transport - a motorcycle- looking object that everyone just called a ‘Zoomer’. Team Snagem got it at a bargain price as nobody understood its rather odd infrastructure. But since it was cheap, and it didn’t break down… well that’s all that mattered to Team Snagem. Then Wes looked at the Voltorb. They looked back with frightened eyes. Suddenly Wes smiled. He had an idea. *** Meanwhile the Skarmory landed in its nest - a rough bundle of sticks put together covered by a small spiky bush. The Skarmory didn’t mind though - the sharp thorns in the bush did nothing to its steel hide, and it kept out the majority of intruders. Settling down to eat, Skarmory looked around to make sure that nothing else was to come to try to steal his meal. KA-BOOM! The Skarmory literally fell out of the nest at the noise, and had to flap hard to avoid hitting the ground. Startled, he flew around several times screeching about the indignantly of being so greatly disturbed before it could eat its meal. After it calmed down it sighted smoke in the distance. Odd, Skarmory thought. It flew in the general direction of the smoke cautiously to investigate. *** Back at the Team Snagem base, things had changed. Wes in a burst of inspiration had decided to give Team Snagem a ‘renovation rescue’ of sorts. Their base had recently acquired a large gaping hole in a wall, and flames were appearing as a result, and spreading. Alarms went off. “Thanks, Voltorb.” said Wes, but they didn’t reply - they had fainted as a result of using Self-destruct to aid Wes. Wes quietly stepped through the hole to appreciate the damage he racked up. A smile grew on his face. Serves them right thought Wes. He quickly grabbed a few items - a couple of Max Revives here, some full heals there. The Max Revives he gave to the Voltorb. “You can leave now.” smiled Wes. The Voltorb didn’t wait around, quickly rolling off into the distance glad to escape from the place. Wes himself prepared to have a quick getaway to avoid getting caught. On his way out through the brand new door he had made however, he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. The big snag machine that Team Snagem used for major operations was in ruins, but the smaller snag machine - small enough to fit on someone’s arm - was still amazingly enough intact. Why not? I might as well take it…give them something else to worry about. Wes picked up the snag device and took to leave. Just then Gonzap showed up. “WES! What is the meaning of this?!?” Wes smiled. “Let’s just say that I’m leaving, and I’ve left you a farewell present.” *** A strange and glorious scene greeted the Skarmory as it came upon the ruins. Flames were everywhere, people were pouring out of the building and the stupid man with pointy things was chasing a smaller man and a Pokemon, Umbreon. The boy jumped into a strange object with an Espeon, which then made a large noise and shot off away. KA-BOOM! “SKARRRRRR!” The Skarmory shot up faster then he ever flew up away as the flames coming from the explosion scorched his body. Meanwhile the smaller man was happily waving a black object with a bright red button in the centre at the stupid man. The Skarmory was very confused by the events - after all, it wasn’t often that a building would suddenly burst into flames - but it knew that if something bad happened to Team Snagem - and it certainly was judging by the reaction of the stupid man - it must be good. “Skarr! Skarr!” proclaimed the Skarmory to the world despite its injuries. Suddenly it felt itself get sucked into something. With a sinking feeling, it realised what was happening to it. It struggled, but in vain, as the flames that scorched its body left it in no state to escape. *** Gonzap grimly picked up the Great ball and put it in his pocket. He glanced at the base, blazing wildly as people were running out of the building. In the distance, a faint siren was sounding - the police were on their way. Very smart, Wes. You’ve destroyed our main Snag machine, and stole the other one. You took our Zoomer. And to boot, you used those explosives we had been planning to use in Agate Village as well to destroy our base. AND half my moustache has burnt off, and I don’t have an eyebrow anymore. You’ll pay for this. *** Hope you enjoyed that. Please tell me your thoughts on the story. I can also say the story gets funnier as it goes. I have posted some other chapters of this story on Serebii Forums at this link: http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=246389 If you don’t want to wait for me to just brush up the earlier chapters and post them here, you’re welcome to read it there as well.