Author’s Note: This story deals with a few mature and disturbing topics, as well as featuring some rather dark scenes. Viewpoint switches from Ash to May.
- Relent -
- By Brian -
I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe it at all.
After all these years…after everything I’ve gone through and accomplished in the four years I’ve been traveling, I’ve done the one thing I never thought I would do…
It had been an average day…nothing out of the ordinary, at least to me. May, Brock, and myself had finally reached Petalburg City, and May and I were excited to finally battle for our Balance Badges.
She had mentioned that her father ran the gym; I thought nothing of it, except that it must’ve been cool to have a dad who was a gym leader.
When we entered through the doors and saw May’s father there, my eyes widened and my jaw dropped. When Pikachu noticed that I had stopped moving, she got worried and tried to shock me out of it, but I didn’t even feel a thing.
Eventually Brock noticed this, and went in front of me, trying his best to shake me out of it, but to no avail. It’s like I wasn’t even in my own body anymore…
“Ash…come on, snap out of it man!” Brock had said in vain, shaking me by the shoulders as I stood there, my eyes unwavering and my jaw still drooping.
“What’s wrong with your friend, May?” her father had said, looking at me with a peculiar look in his eyes.
May looked at me, a look of concern on her pretty face. “I don’t know, dad. Ash, are you okay-”
I wanted to scream! I wanted to shout! I wanted to destroy something! I wanted to do curse, yell, wail, cry out into the heavens, but all I could was mutter one utterly simply sentence…
“Father…I’ve finally found you.”
* * *
Who wouldn’t be worried, when they saw one of their best friends suddenly freeze in their tracks, and look as if someone had died?
I didn’t like it, I didn’t like it one bit. He looked so sad and angry at the same time…what could be wrong?
Please Ash, say something…I miss the smile that’s practically plastered all over your face every time I look at you…
I wanted you to meet my father, you know? I’m sure you’d like him…he wanted to be a pokémon master as long as I could remember, just like you. He traveled all the way from his hometown in Kanto to Johto, where he met my mother…
I was going to ask him for his approval for dating-
“What’s wrong with your friend, May?” my father said, crossing his arms and looking at Ash with a concerned look in his eyes.
I looked at Ash, trying my best to see what could’ve happened to me in such a short amount of time. “I don’t know, dad. Ash, are you okay-”
“Father…I’ve finally found you.” Ash said in a low whisper, his fists clenched and his lips curled into an angry scowl.
* * *
I could see May blinking in confusion, but I didn’t care. Pikachu jumped off my shoulder and onto Brock’s arms, fearful of what was going to occur. Pokémon, especially my Pikachu, are usually well aware of what their trainer felt, as well as what they were going to do.
“Do you remember me, father?” I spat out, in the harshest tone I could muster.
His face was still hardened, his eyes scanning me for any sign of familiarity. “I can’t say that I have.”
I clenched my fists even harder, wishing I could just go over that and beat the living hell out of him. How dare he? How dare he not even know whom he was talking to? How dare he just stand there, not even caring that his son had finally found him?
“I still remember you. I can still remember the pictures mom had of you. I can still remember her telling me that any day now you’d be back. I can still remember her crying every night, because of you. Do you remember me now? Don’t you remember the woman you left behind in Pallet? Her name was Delia!” I screamed out, letting out all my emotions on the man who left my mother.
His face immediately softened, and his expression finally showed some recognition, although I did not care at this point.
“Ash…?” he whispered quietly, his eyes filled with regret, “Is that you…?”
I scoffed as loud as I could. My father was not going to win my sympathy…
* * *
Ash was breathing heavily, and he looked like he was about to collapse. My heart went out to him, but I could do nothing…
Was it true? Was my father…Ash’s as well…?
But how could that be? How?
Father said that he came from a small town in Kanto, and the he journeyed across the lands until he met my mother, when they were both in their twenties. Not long after they met they had me, which was soon followed by marriage since mother wouldn’t allow him to run off…
I feel sick to my stomach…I feel like I’m gonna throw up…
If what Ash was saying then true, then that means my father has been cheating on his first wife all this time…
If it’s the truth, if it’s all the truth, then my hidden feelings of affection for Ash are…are…disgusting…vile! He’s my brother…how could I be so sick and twisted…?
But most importantly, if it’s the truth…then that means-
“Ash…?” my father whispered quietly, using a tone that I never heard him use before, “Is that you…?”
And with that, everything in my life shatters into tiny pieces.
* * *
“Please try to understand, Ash…” he says soothingly, causing me to feel sick to my stomach, “I didn’t mean to harm you, or your mother…”
“Liar!” I scream out, closing my eyes as tightly as possible to stop the torrent of tears that threaten to erupt, “How do I know that? Why did you never call? Never bother to write? You left my mom alone with me, without any support!”
My mother had to raise me all by herself…she had to take double shifts at various places where she worked, just so I could live a nice life. She made sure I had the time to pursue my dream of becoming a pokémon master-
I suddenly feel even worse then before. I had always wanted to be a pokémon master, just like my…father. I wanted to be a master so badly because maybe, somehow, I was trying to impress him, wherever he was; it didn’t matter if he was living or dead.
But now that he’s standing before me, trying his best to justify his actions, I wish he were dead.
“I was going to return, god knows I wanted to…but then I met…May’s mother…and she and I…we…we fell in love and had May…” he says in a guilty tone, his eyes glancing over to May, who looks at him and I with a shocked expression on her face.
“I couldn’t just leave May…” he says quietly, “unlike you, I saw her birth, and when she looked at me with those big blue eyes, I knew I couldn’t leave her, even though-”
Before he was able to finish his sentence I ran out of there as fast I could.
“Ash! Please, don’t go! Please!” May shouts, as she runs after me.
I don’t care anymore…
* * *
I pant and wheeze as I struggle to keep up with him…he’s moving so fast it’s almost like a blur…
Despite the guilt eating away at me, I’ve got to do something, anything, to help him.
After all, it’s my fault that his life is the way it is. If it weren’t for me, my father would have returned to Ash’s mom…
He’d be able to grow up with a dad raising him....he’d be able to live the normal life that I lived, that I had taken for granted…
He’s heading into the forest…oh god Ash…please don’t do anything stupid…
* * *
I hate my life.
I hate myself.
I wish I were never born.
I’m the son of that…bastard…I have so many of his characteristics that it makes me sick…
Why didn’t I have red hair like my mother, instead of black hair?
Why are my eyes the same color as his, instead of hers?
Why am I following in his footsteps, as I vainly tried to become a pokémon master?
I slump against a tree, wishing that things were different. Wishing that my life wasn’t such a waste.
I hear footsteps behind me, but I don’t bother to turn and look.
What’s the point, anyways?
“Ash…?” the voice says timidly, and I instantly recognize it as May.
She’s…she’s the reason that my dad didn’t return, isn’t she? He even said so himself…that when he looked into her eyes, he couldn’t possibly think about leaving her, for someone as worthless as me…
She’s the reason my life is like this…isn’t she?
“What?” I say nonchalantly, not wanting to look her in the eyes, not anymore. Not after what those eyes did to me…
* * *
I feel like running away right now, away from Ash, away from this forest, away from everything.
But I can’t.
His indifference to my presence scares me, because I’m not sure what’s he’s going to do.
Will he lash out?
Will he cry out?
Will he do something that I can’t even think possible of him to do…?
I stumble, trying to find the right words to say, hoping that somehow I’ll be able to help him.
“Big brother…” I say soothingly, the words somehow fitting, “Please don’t be mad at father…”
He looks at me, a look of confusion on his face. Have I done something wrong?
“Since you’re older, you’re my big brother, right?” I say quietly, sitting down beside him.
He looks at me really carefully, and I feel like I’m being examined through a microscope or something…
* * *
She’s the reason for all of this.
I can’t believe I never saw this coming.
I’m not psychic or anything, but somehow, I should’ve seen this coming.
She and I…we’re alike. Too alike, in fact. If it weren’t for the fact that she had brown hair, I probably would’ve noticed something a lot quicker.
We both sound the same, although her voice is little clearer then my own.
We both wanted to make our dad proud when we started on our journeys. How ironic…
She flinches slightly when I put a hand to her cheek, but eventually relaxes and closes her eyes.
She almost looks happy.
I want to be happy.
* * *
What’s he doing?
Why is his hand on my cheek?
Please, big brother, tell me what you’re going to do.
“Maybe…we can be a family, together, Ash …” I offer quietly, shamefully enjoying his hand on my cheek, my mind still not accepting the fact that he’s my brother, my own flesh-and-blood.
Life is so unfair…but at least I can still be with Ash, as his sister.
“Yes…we can…” he replies in response, his hand suddenly leaving from my cheek…
To my throat…?
He’s choking me now…
Why brother, why…?
I try to scream, but he stops me by placing his hand on my mouth…
Please, please stop this!
We can still be a family!
Please don’t kill me, Ash!
“I’m sorry” he says, although with no emotion behind his voice.
I can’t breath…my vision is going blurry…
I’m kicking my legs in a frantic attempt to escape, but he’s too strong.
“Don’t resist. It’ll be quicker if you don’t resist, okay sis?” he says soothingly.
I stop resisting as soon as he says that. I lay there limply, waiting for the end to come.
I’m sorry for ruining your life Ash…I’m sorry for being born…
My vision is failing…
The last thing I see is Ash, smiling at me…
* * *
There’s only one option I have left.
I give up trying to be the good guy here.
I give up trying to find the silver lining in things.
I give up…
My sister made it so clear to me. My father and I…we can still be a family!
We can still have what we have lost!
And all I’ve got to do is get rid of the only thing in the way.
I have one hand against her mouth, while the other hand that I had just stroked her cheek with is currently choking the life out of her.
“I’m sorry.” I say quietly, my eyes inches away from her frantic filled ones.
And in truth, I was sorry.
She was so nice to me.
She never yelled at me.
If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve sworn that she liked me, just a little bit.
She always stole glances at me-
“Don’t resist. It’ll be quicker if you don’t resist, okay sis?” I say quietly, as her muffled screams and struggling gradually decrease.
That’s right, May.
Listen to your big brother.
I allow myself to smile at her as she stops completely, obviously taking my advice.
I pick up her limp body in my arms and go about the task of making sure she has a proper funeral.
A big brother like me has got to take care of his little sister, after all…
I can just imagine the look on father’s face when he sees this…
My smile widens, realizing that by relenting, I’ve found happiness.
- End -
Disturbing? Yes. Even I felt disturbed as I wrote this, but it’s just one of the many what-ifs. I doubt Ash would act like this, but it’s kind of fun anyways. Besides, it’s always stimulating to work on something that’s not exactly your forte.
What Ash means by relenting is that by letting go of what he was and just giving in to instinct, he’s achieved happiness. Make sense?
In the Japanese version of Pokémon the voice actor for Ash (Satoshi) also does the voice for May (Haruka), which is why Ash says that they both slightly sound the same. You know me, I always love dropping references here and there…even if they are obscure as hell.
As always, reviews are welcomed, even if they are flames.
In my tenth story, I’m going to make reference to all the previous ones before it, seeing as how Reality is a sort of a wrap up to the last nine stories, except not. Well, err…it’s hard to explain. But one thing is for sure…after Reality I’m going to stop using titles that begin with “R” so much. Heh heh…
Reality – Ash finds out that the last four years have been an illusion, or are they…? And what’s this about Kyogre and Groudon, and Misty, and May?