My Shameful Decision


****


Location and Setting: Misty decided to go to see what May was up to and the guys headed to the guest room to confront Ash.


The footsteps seem to pound as they got closer to the room. He knew what they would ask him and he was ready to tell them. The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. He had already some-what intimidated all his friends and he didn’t want to continue that trail.


The door slowly opened and entered Tracey first followed by Brock and Max at the end entering and making sure the door was fully close. Perhaps he had closed the door to slow Ash down if he decided to run away.


Ash was on the bottom of the bunk-bed hands clutched together as if he were waiting for his turn at the electric chair. Solemnly he lifted his head to see the three of his friends looking at him, giving him a kind of look. He knew he would have to.


“Let’s hear it, man,” Brock sprouted.


“I knew you would ask that.


“Well, are you going to tell us, or are we going to have to force you to,” threatened Tracey jokingly.


“Okay, I’ll tell you,” Ash finally answered.


Max went in front of Ash and sat on the floor his legs crossed as if he were ready to hear a story from the kindergarten teacher. Brock and Tracey decided not to follow Max’s lead and pulled up a chair.


“I had the most wonderful time just thinking about my new adventure in Orre. Misty and Brock had reasons why they couldn’t come so I went alone, as you all know. If I remember correctly, Brock had to go to the Pewter City gym to take care of affairs. Misty had to go back to the Cerulean City gym to perform as the character of the Mermaid Princess. You both told me that you had at least three months of time it would take to get things handled. So, I went on by myself to the Orre region. I knew what they said about the Orre Region. It’s said that the Orre region is a tough region filled with crime and unforgiving, unpredictable weather. It was said once that it had more than six gang groups. Unlike Kanto with it’s Team Rocket gangs and Hoenn and their Team Magma and Team Aqua. It was much more of a rough and tumble region. Knowing this, I traveled to the region with a cocky mentality. I had accomplished much already and this was just one of the many other challenges I thought life had dealt onto me. As soon as I gotten off the boat I was itching for a challenge of the infamous region. I found my first battle with a brood gentleman husky at first look. He was feisty and seemed type to lift weights and challenge people to arm wrestling contests. He called out his Houndour and I called out Brock’s Crobat. It was fast and I could hardly utter a command before Crobat was down K-O’ed in less than five seconds of the match. I won’t tell you how must it had affected me. Not just down, but defeated. Knowing that the Orre Region was the way it was I decided to take the veteran pokemon. But I never thought the trainers there were so powerful. I then sent Squirtle next. Just like Crobat, Squirtle had not been able to even make a move before he was defeated.


“So, what does that have to do with you not staying in contact with us?” ask Max anxiously.


“I’m getting there,” Ash answered. “It was like that every match. I had challenged other trainers and I found them to be as well a match as the brooded man I had first challenged. It had been a month and still I wasn’t able to win a single match. Twenty-four battles later, I still wasn’t able to win a match. I believed I grew from every loss, but never showed it when it was time to demonstrate. I remembered all the thinks I’ve learned from you, Brock and from Misty. Still it was not enough.


“How did you get over that problem?” asked Tracey.


“I didn’t. Not at first. It wasn’t just the battles that weren’t going right. At times I kept forgetting to take care of personal business. Most times I would hardly eat at night because in the day time I would train and get caught up in my own laundry or where things are that I forget all about eating–believe it or not. I realized that Brock had done most of the cooking. I also forgot to do the essentials. Misty always reminded me to keep my ‘you know what’s’ fresh as a favor to my mom, but I wasn’t able to keep up with such things. What would they say to me now, I thought to myself every time I saw my reflection of a defeated trainer unfit to take care of himself, less fit to take care of his pokemon when it came to battles. I wasn’t myself. I looked as if I were a bum off the streets. My clothes were dirty most of the time and they were never very clean in the first place; I couldn’t get any better. Three months passed and I was looking forward to call Brock or Misty up and ask if their affairs were taken cared of. I was at a relief that the misery of being by myself would finally be over. I would once again be able to rely on Brock for his cooking and Misty for her attentiveness and despite how much I hate to admit it; her confidence in me. As I picked up the video phone in the Pokemon Center, I decided to first make myself look presentable. I went to use the Pokemon Center restroom to freshen up. I saw my reflection again. I hated the way I looked. I hated the way I couldn’t fend for myself like most trainers out on their own. I ask to myself, how can people live as trainers by themselves? Then it hit me. They can. They have. But, I couldn’t. I would depend on Misty and Brock as I did for the last seven years of my journey. Gary, Sakura, AJ, Samurai, Richie, Nicholi. They were all able to do it by themselves. More names popped in my head. Duplica, Cassandra, Michell. All people that I have met on my journey that were able to go on their journey, alone. But... I couldn’t. I slapped myself hard on the face and got out of the rest room. I went to the video phone and dialed Misty’s number. She picked up the phone and her image was about to appear on the monitor. She said ‘hello,’ but I hanged up the phone. That’s when I decided. I couldn’t have you two following me anymore. I couldn’t have anyone but my pokemon by my side. So, I decided, so I must abide. At first I was tempted to call a friend, but I knew that wouldn’t be wise. I would either ask to one of you to come or you would ask me. I couldn’t risk it. I had to be by myself. I know it’s selfish, but it was the way to follow my dream. In time, it became easier. When I had finally won my first battle I shouted in joy and dedicated it to all my friends.


“That’s the reason why you stayed away from us? To follow your dream and become the best?” asked Tracey. “I never thought you had such a good reason.


“Here I thought you were just having a wild time in the Orre region,” commented Brock. “I’m sorry I thought that. I’d have to agree. It’s my dream to become a world renowned breeder and if I had to take the same route you did, I would.


The veils of Ash’s actions had been revealed. It was now a matter of acceptance for both Ash and his three friends. It was quiet as the idea sank in.


“Though you have a good reason, Ash, I still had hoped you kept in contact with us,” Brock put in, “I would have understood.


“Brock, it was a matter of Ash being unable to keep away from you and Misty. If he had told you, he might have been tempted to ask for help again,” Max answered for Ash.


“Hey, why’s everyone so down. I have an idea,” Tracey exclaimed. “Why don’t we have another party, just like last night. We did have a nice nap today and we wont be too tired in the morning. So, what do you say?


“I say, WOOOOOOOO!” Ash howled.


“WOOOOO!” Max copied.


“WOOOO!” Both Tracey and Brock howled.


“Come on, Ash, let’s go get something from the fridge,” Max suggested.


Ash followed him out of the room not knowing Max had an ulterior motive behind his little seemingly innocent suggestion.


They were silent as they headed to the kitchen. Ash had tried to start a conversation with Max, but he was silent and evasive on any subject. Ash thought this was peculiar, he believed that Max was upset of his reasons. So, Ash quietly followed as Max led with a serious composure to him.


As they finally made their way to the kitchen, Max had finally cease the silence.


“What did you do to my sister, Ash?” Max question.


“What are relief,” Ash wiped off a phantom sweet-drop from his forehead. “I had thought you were mad at me for doing what I did?


“No, I’m not,” Max strongly reassured, “but all the same, I am mad at you for making my sister cry. I know I sometimes treat her the way I do, but she’s my sister and I wont let anyone hurt her.


“Admirable, but I didn’t do anything to her.


“Don’t give me that, she didn’t leave the dinner table because she was sick. I know you had something to do with it.


Ash was sort of angry that Max had taken to Misty’s side on this. He was talking, but it was Misty’s words that came out.

“Don’t tell me you’re taking her side in this?


“Whose side?” Max asked blankly.


“Never mind. All I know is that I would never intentionally hurt May,” Ash pleaded for Max to believe him.


“Then why saw she acting the way she was?


“I... I can’t tell you. You have to ask her. It’s not my place to say. It would just embarrass her and I.


“Ash, I’m her brother, it’s my job to embarrass her. If I don’t, then who will?


What was so bad if Max had known the situation. Plus, he did have a point. If Ash could tell anyone of this, it would be Max.


“I’m going to sound conceded, but I promise this is the truth,” Ash said, preparing Max for what he had to say.


“Okay, already, just tell me.


Seeing that Max was becoming inpatient and restless, Ash blurt it out. All the details of the situation that had occur earlier on the evening. Ash’s confrontation with May in Misty’s room. Of what May had said about herself, Ash and Misty. Max had taken the news with a humorous and scandalous reaction.


“... and that’s the situation between us,” Ash had finally concluded.


“Here I thought you had killed her pokemon or something. But this is much more better than I thought. I always knew she had eyes for you when we were still traveling with each other.


Ash was now starting to blush. The idea of May in the background looking up to him as he was doing whatever he was doing at the time when May had noticed just embarrassed Ash.


“Okay, okay, just don’t tell anyone else about this. It’s bad enough you heard what she said about Misty and I.


“Well?” Max was intrigued.


“Well, what?


“Well, is it true about what May said about you and Misty.


“No!... no, no!” Ash objected more than usual. “I have no idea where to start on how wrong that is and how wrong it would be. I mean, she’s getting married the day after tomorrow. That would just be wrong of me.


“Okay, you don’t have to be so defensive about it. Let’s just get back to the guys.


“Here,” Ash said handing Max the cheese spray. “Oh, don’t forget about the drinks.


****


Location and Setting: As Ash and Max were making their way back to the guys, Daisy, Lily and Violet made their way there first. They were in their rooms when they had first heard Ash howl moments ago and decided to make a boy-girl party out of the night. Last night they had a party where there were only girls, so they figured they would want to mix it up with the boys. Plus, Ash would be there.


“WOOOOOOO!” Howled Lily.


“Like, that’s not how you do it,” Violet criticized.


“Oh, I don’t know,” Tracey disagreed, “I think she did a find job.


“I could do it better,” boasted Daisy.


“By all means, you may have a go at it,” Brock urged.


“WOOOOO!” Daisy howled trying to outdo her sister.


In another room, Misty and May had laid in their beds tolerating the annoyingly loud howls.


“I can’t believe they’re doing it again. And my sisters, I can’t believe their with him Misty thought to herself. “And May, if she can only tell me what’s the matter with her so I can have a conversation with a sane person. What did that jerk do to her anyways.


Back to the party, Ash and Max had just arrived to see that the girls and the guys had made a circle with two spaces blank on the flush carpet, most likely for Max and him.


“What are you girls doing here?” Ash asked surprised to see them.


Max took a seat in the space between Lily and Violet. Violet was to his right and Lily was on his left with Daisy next to her and to her right the empty space.


Brock sat close to Tracey and Tracey to the left of Lily.


“Well, like we knew you guys were going to stay up all night and keep us with you, so we decided to just party the night away with you. So, come take a seat next to me, Ash.” Daisy explained.


Ash did as Daisy said and took the seat between Daisy and Brock with the junk food in his hands.


The night was still young and the company was great. They told each other stories and jokes. Max was there and the stories had to be edited for immature audience, but Max knew what the double entendres and euphemisms meant.


Tracey had been eating peanuts at the time when Violet had told her story about the guy who stalked her for a week and he had almost chocked of it when the punch line was finally reached. Thanks to Brock’s quick thinking, he was able to spit out the rather large peanut lodge in his throat.


Afterwards everybody laughed. It was one of those things people would say, “we’ll laugh about it later,” but in this case they laughed about it now. Even Tracey had been laughing at his carelessness.


“I should of chew first, huh?” Tracey asked the others.


It was about 10:23 when Max had remembered his sister with Misty in the room. She had not come out and had been silent even when Misty had tried to talk to her. She just moaned and said she was feeling fine as she covered her face with a pillow in hope that would get rid of people from bothering her. Max felt bad that he was having such a good time while his sister was so upset.


“Ash,” Max started, “do you think we should get May. This is fun and she’d really be disappointed if she wasn’t apart of things.


“Well...” Ash stammered thinking of the worst case scenario a situation like that can occur, “okay, I guess she would be rather upset if we hadn’t at least invited her. You go and call her.


“You should come with me,” suggested Max.


“Why?” Ash asked not really wanting to go to see Misty right now. Things were not settled with them and he felt uncomfortable trying to convince May into going with him with Misty there.


“Why!” repeated Max condescendingly, “ you know exactly why you have to come with me.


Ash knew that Max was right and was coerced to do it as the others look at him and Max in hopes to understand May’s whole reaction earlier in the night.


****

                   

Location and setting: Max and Ash were right outside the door of leading into where May and Misty were. Ash was in front while Max behind him trying to tiptoe high enough to see over Ash’s shoulders. Max was taller than the last time Ash had seen him, but he was still young and had a lot more time to grow a couple more inches.


Ash knocked on the door nervously hoping that May would answer it rather than Misty. His hands were shaking just thinking about it.


Unfortunately for Ash it had been Misty to take charge and open the door.


Ash let out a sigh of disappointment and embarrassment. “Hey,” was the only thing he thought of to say.

                                     

“Oh, what do you want?” Misty asked abruptly with a less than fetching tone.


“We just want to talk to May,” Ash answered.


“Who’s we?” Misty asked only seeing Ash.


Ash turned around to point at Max, but the only part of him that Ash saw was the back of Max’s heel as he ran the corner back to where the others were going. It was a set-up, Ash realized as Max made his escape.


“Never mind about we. I mean only me, I want to talk to May.


“Good, finally stepping up to your responsibilities,” Misty commented.


Ash was offended, but decided to let it go so things seeing that the room felt a little tense.


“May,” Ash called as he walked up to the bed May had been laying in since diner. Misty followed Ash to May’s bed and in hopes of mending the situation. “I’d like to ask you to come with us. We’re having a little party and... I guess you’re invited.


Misty was a little hurt that her friends and sisters wouldn’t ask her if she wanted to come. I wouldn’t come if you asked me to anyways, Misty thought to herself.


There was no response from May, no single movement of any sort that would prove she was still awake or even alive. “May,” Ash called again. “May... May... are you asleep?” In an irritated desperation, Ash lifted his leg and gave May a nudge with his foot.


“Ash, don’t do that to her,” Misty lectured, “what kind of friend are you to literally kick her when she’s down.


“I wanted to know if she was awake or not. Do you have a better idea.


“Well, let me just think... oh, I know,” Misty said being sarcastic. She bent over and shook May. “See, isn’t that a better way to tell.


“Yeah, but you had to bend over. I just had to lift my foot,” Ash answered.


“What does that have to do with things.


“Nothing, it’s just my way. I used to do that to you, too, remember?


“Yeah, I do.” Misty answered and giving Ash a kick in the foot. The kick hurt, but not enough for Ash to do anything about it.


“I should just take the pillow off her head. I think that would be the best way to find out is she’s asleep or not.


“Why didn’t I think of that,” Misty acknowledged.


“You don’t have to,” said a muffled voice through the pillow, “I’m awake.


“Oh, you should of said so,” Ash said playfully, “that way I didn’t have to kick you.


“My answer is no, Ash. Just go away,” May cruelly answered.


Ash just stood there thinking of what might happen if this kept on. He looked at Misty who was silently looking at him from a corner of her eye.


“May,” Ash started, “I’ve known you for a long time. And I’d like to think that we know a lot about each other and we know what we want of each other.


Misty started to blush hearing all these things coming out of Ash’s mouth. It was strange for her to hear him talk about deeper emotions rather than the same basic human needs like conveying how hungry he was or how he was so excited for his next gym badge. It has been years since she had seen Ash convey anything, but this was one she knew that Ash had never expressed in any of their conversations with each other, or if any they were few.


May did not respond to anything he was saying.


“I know what you’re thinking, and I have to say, it’s better if we just forget it. Just like my situation.” Then it hit Ash. He was acting out just like May had been towards him as Ash was towards Misty. He finally realized what he was feeling ever since he had heard of Misty’s engagement. “Oh,... I see.” Ash spurted out in realization. “May,...” Ash excitedly blurted out, “I know what to say now. We were friends before any of this has happened and I just know whatever happens, we’ll always be friends. So, in a way, I will always love you and you will always love me. I know now that anything I do I will always be forgiven because you and I are too good for anything bad to break us apart. It doesn’t matter about feelings of the heart when I know that you will always be there. I get it now, you’ll always be here for me. May, I love you too much for our friendship to turn to this, please, you’ll always be in my heart.


Misty was blushing before, but now she just turned bright red. How much Ash had change during the years. Before she had thought the years had turned him to an emotionless robot, but in reality he had turned into the person she had always waited for him to be. It was just too bad she didn’t wait long enough or he had taken too much time.


“I know that’s not what you want, but it’s for the best. Come on, let’s go to the party, Best Friend.


Misty and Ash both snapped out of the way as May had suddenly and unexpectedly stood up like a mummy and gave Ash a hug. Ash and Misty kept themselves from laughing at her. Having the pillow for so long on her face had smudged what looked like tears all over her face. Her eyes were bloodshot. It was clear that she had been crying. Crying over what? Misty had thought.


“Sniff. I’m sorry Ash. I’ve been a little brat. Lets just go to the party.


“No,” Ash answered. “Not until you wash your face.


May looked at herself in the mirror and freaked at the very sight of her image reflected. “I look like Baba Yaga! I need to wash my face.” She was quick to head for the restroom leaving Ash with Misty.


This time it was different. Ash wasn’t nervous any more. Call it an epiphany if you want, but Ash had realized that it didn’t matter if Misty was getting married. She was still the same person and it didn’t matter if he did like her. It was already too late and he knew he had his chance. Still, it was okay.


“Too bad, huh?” Ash muttered.


“What, too bad? Is that what you said?” asked Misty barely hearing what he just said.


“Oh, nothing. I was just thinking out loud.


“Okay Ash, I just thought you said something.


Ash realized a long time ago, even before he had left on his Orre journey, that Misty had bloomed into a beautiful woman. He still saw the beauty that he had once saw. He smiled and looked away.


May was finally done tweaking whatever gunk was on her face. “I’m ready Ash, take me to the ball.


“Oh, why yes. Your carriage was lost on the way... somehow... and we are forced to walk. So,” Ash offered his arm, “shall we?

“We shall,” May answered by taking his arm.


Misty looked at them and realized that Ash was treating May the way he had to her before. Despite how much she fought the idea, she realized that she was a little jealous. No, it’s just that I miss other guys handing out there arms for me. Darn that Dorien for trapping me, Misty thought playfully. When they were finally gone, she felt a lot more hurt that they had forgotten her. “What am I thinking. Have fun, Ash.


Misty took out a book that she kept on her dresser and began to read. It was a romance novel. The kind you buy in comic books stores where you only find it in the back with all the other corny love stories. The cover on the book had a handsome sea captain. The captains figure was exaggerated with the background of the blue sky making him look like Adonis as the captain brave his voyage. Along with the captain by his side was a beautiful woman. In the book the captain had saved a rich general’s daughter and she was to be brought home after a kidnaping to marry her father’s business associate. At first the general’s daughter was a shrew as she had not taken to the captain, but as the voyage continued, the general’s daughter became enchanted with the captain and falls in love with him. She was still swept away by those stories and she had hope something like that would happen to her despite already being with Dorien. She loved being with Dorien, but she never felt the same way she did when she had taken Ash’s hand as they climbed up mountains or ran away from wild pokemon.


Aaaah,” Misty screamed inwardly at herself. “What am I thinking?


She read a passage after shaking off the unsettling thought she just had.


Captain Nathaniel took the shrewish woman by the wrist and directly asked what her problem was. The voyage was almost over and Dorethea, the general’s daugther, had not wanted to be taken home. She had spent time with the captain learning so much about life and what’s more important than tea time or a social call.


“I don’t get you,” said the captain verbally stressing out the disappointment he felt for the treason like act Dorethea had committed, “why did you try to sabotage the ship? Is marrying that pen-pusher that bad?


“No, I just...,” Dorethea was willing to tell him what she really felt, but she had no idea what the captain would say.


“Well!,” Nathaniel said griping her wrist much more tightly, “what is it? You’re father is probably worried about you and you want to be selfish and keep from your duties. I’ve told you before, everyone has a place and this ship is not your place. Go back to your dinner parties and your balls. Leave me and my men to our ‘toiling’. That’s what you said, didn’t you?


“No, I didn’t... not anymore. I love your life. And I love... you, Captain Nathaniel. I don’t want to marry duke Archer. I want to stay with you.


Misty stopped reading and readied herself for the upcoming paragraphs the Captain and the Shrew would have with each other. Misty’s heart was literally bumping as she wondered about the what the captain would say. She imagined it. “I love you, too, Dorethea. I had believed and fooled myself otherwise, but you also taught me. You taught me to love.


Misty was about to read the real response Captain Nathaniel would say to Dorethea, but she heard footsteps and was distracted.


There was another knock on the door. “Can I come in, again?” ask Ash.


“Yeah, sure, come in.


“With all this excitement about May, I forgot to ask you if you wanted to come.


“Ash, you didn’t have to invite me, I live here,” she answered.


“I know, but I didn’t want you to think that we were leaving you out of everything. Just come on. It isn’t the same without you.


“That’s nice, Ash, but I think I’ll just stay here and finish this book.” She held up the book and Ash immediately saw the picture of Captain Nathaniel.


“Are you still into all that?” Ash asked in regards to the cover.


“Yeah, so, what about it?


“Nothing, I just didn’t think you would still be reading that stuff.


“For you information, it’s really well written and has a great storyline. Besides, at least I read.


“You really like to rub it in, huh?” Ash asked sarcastically. “Believe it or not, over the years, I actually read my share of books. Mind you they were about the lifestyle of pokemon and they were really for research, but I read.


“Fine, that’s all good, just leave me alone,” she said coldly.


“Alright, but if you want to come, you know that you’ll always have a spot.” He closed the door and Misty heard his footsteps gradually pass.


“Of all the times, now is the time he asks me to come with him. Why didn’t you ask five years ago when it meant something, Misty thought to herself.


She picked up the book again. She had lost her place and had not memorized the page number. She turned the pages that she had recently read but found only the spots she had already read. She hated to reread something that she had already read.


She finally found the spot, but for some reason, the feeling of excitement had dissipated and now she didn’t feel much like reading. “Should I take him up on his offer?she thought to herself. “What could it hurt?


She opened the dresser next to her and put the book back in place with the other books she had recently read. She went to the mirror and looked at herself. She thought her hair was messy. She took the brush and started brushing hoping to untangle the dreads of hair. “Wait a minute. I’ll be going to sleep in an hour or two. Why I’m I acting as if I were going to a ball?


She decided to stop and just go. When she opened the door, Ash was standing next to the side of the door. “I thought you would come around sooner or later.


“I... I... I was just going to get a drink of water,” she stammered.


Ash grabbed her by the wrist and started pulling her to the direction of the others.


“Ash, what are you doing, the kitchen is that way. I don’t want to go,” Misty protested.


“There’s water in the room. Don’t worry, they aren’t going to bite you. Why are you being so defensive?


“I’m not,” she answered, “I just want to get a drink of water and I’m sleepy.


“Sure,” said Ash sarcastically. 


****

Here you are. Review? Submitted on 10/9/05.