Blurry
Containiac

Don’t own pokemon or Puddle of Mudd lyrics.

“Jessie…” I sighed, lying back onto his hard bed. I had been in the same room for three days, not eating, just thinking. I hadn’t even noticed how long I had stayed in his Team Rocket dorm. It wasn’t like anyone cared about me enough to wonder where I was…not until ‘they’ came.

Everything's so blurry
and everyone's so fake
and everybody's empty
and everything is so messed up

“What has my life become?” I thought, absent-mindedly twirling my signature rose between my fingers. That rose always reminded me of the flaming red tones of your lustrous hair…that hair that had been blown by the wind into my face for so many years. But now it was gone…the wind and more importantly your hair…not to mention you altogether.

Pre-occupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

“Why did you think I couldn’t stand up for you, like you did for me?” I shook my head, remembering back to when we first met, back at Pokemon Tech. When you stopped those bullies from throwing me down the stairs…or was it that they were going to tie me up and cover me with Weedle? I guess I was picked on so much that I can’t remember when certain events of bullying happened. But I can remember you, standing between me and them, threatening them, shouting at them, telling those thugs to leave me alone. Then you told me… told me that I should stand up for myself more, that I shouldn’t let myself get pushed around. I guess I never got to show you that. But I could have…I really could. If you’d given me the chance…

You could be my someone
you could be my scene
you know that I’ll protect you
from all of the obscene

I don’t know where you are. I can’t look for you, you said that yourself. You wanted me to forget you, to get on with my life. But you asked me to do the impossible. How could I forget the person who was dearer to me than life itself…I’d sacrifice my life for you, you should have known that…but I couldn’t tell you that. I was too afraid. Too weak. And that’s where we differed. I wish you could still be here with me…

I wonder what you're doing
imagine where you are
there's oceans in between us
but that's not very far

You’ve hurt me now. There’s nothing but empty space inside my heart. When you told me that I couldn’t follow, that it was too dangerous…I know you meant it for our own good, but it still felt like a slap in the face. It stung my heart. All those times when you hit me with your fan, that pain quails in the face of this torment. It east at my insides…but I’m used to that feeling. I got it whenever I was around you, but obviously for different reasons. Or is it different. Do I still feel pain because I didn’t tell you how I felt about you?

Can you take it all away
can you take it all away
well ya shoved it in my face
this pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
can you take it all away
well ya shoved it my face

Even Meowth has gone. Where? I don’t know. He changed after you left as well. You and I were his only friends. I guess he might have taken it a bit like a rejection as well. He became colder, and finally, he left, saying it was time for him to strive out on his own again. I hope he’s Ok. He was a great friend. But I hoped you were something more. I always wondered if you felt the same way for me as I did for you. I guess not, the way you generally treated me…I guess we were just friends to you. Best friends at most. But I can always dream.

Everyone is changing
there's noone left that's real
to make up your own ending
and let me know just how you feel

And now here I am, working for this lousy unit of rebels. They could have done something useful with me, what with me being a former Rocket. But no. They stick me with a bunch of stupid kids. And not even the twerps either. They’re joint leaders of the whole damn rebellion! They’re still frickin’ kids! This is where I am without you. I hope you’re happy…literally. Because I couldn’t stand for us to both be miserable. That would finally finish off my will to live. The only reason I haven’t gone into battle kamikaze- style is because of the possibility that I still might see you again.

cause I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
my whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

Why didn’t you believe me! Maybe if I had told you what I’d felt for you, maybe you wouldn’t have left without me. We could have gone into hiding, away from Team Rocket forever. Just you, me and Meowth. But that’s just a fantasy now, because of my weakness…because of my inaction…because of the incompetence that stopped us from catching Pikachu, even though we tried for over five damn years, through about seven different regions! And who knows how many blastings off! No wonder my back hurts all the time!...I just wish that I could have changed my losing streak by telling you…but that would have been against my nature wouldn’t it.

You could be my someone
you could be my scene
you know that I will save you
from all of the unclean

I wonder where you chose to hide out. Maybe you joined the resistance as well, but I just didn’t know about it. And if you did, knowing my luck, while I’m here based in Kanto, as close to Giovanni and death as humanely possible, you’ll be in Hoenn. Or you might even be…no, I can’t think like that.

I wonder what you're doing
I wonder where you are
There's oceans in between us
but that's not very far

If you came back to me, then maybe we could make up a good plan for once, a plan that would be able to stop Team rocket once and for all. And we’d never have to blast off again. I’d never have to crossdress again…the very thought of that makes me shiver…just because Meowth thought I looked more feminine than you…I wish you’d come back…come back into my arms…

Can you take it all away
can you take it all away
well ya shoved it in my face
this pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
can you take it all away
well ya shoved it my face
This pain you gave to me

Everyone told you to flee. They knew that if you stayed out of hiding, Giovanni would find you. They cared about you…but did they care about me? NO! I’m regarded as the expendable one, the doofus, and the bad luck charm. They just all said “Run, just run from Team Rocket, never look back.” I wonder if you have looked back. Looked back and seen my face…

Nobody told me what you thought
nobody told me what to say
everyone showed you where to turn
told you when to runaway
nobody told you where to hide
nobody told you what to say
everyone showed you where to turn
showed you when to runaway

And now, I sense, it’s time. And right on cue, I hear gunshots outside, along with shouting and screaming. Footsteps get closer, and the door burst open. I turn round slowly, as three men dash into the room. They wear black outfits, red R’s adorning their chests. It’s them. I knew it. I guess this is it. I just wish you were here with me…so we could die together.

Can you take it all away
can you take it all away
well ya shoved it in my face
this pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
can you take it all away
well ya shoved it my face

They parade me outside, mocking me, telling me that I should never have left Team Rocket. But I’m glad I did. Even if I die now, I won’t die a villain. But I won’t die by your side, as I hoped I would…as I dreamed. And I was certainly a lot older in that dream…hell, I don’t want to die!

I feel the tears roll down my cheeks as I try to keep a look of defiance upon my face. I don’t want those scumbags to see the fear I’m feeling. They don’t deserve that reward, the reward I know those sick bastards crave so dear. I hear them load up their guns. I stand straight and close my eyes, waiting for the shots to come. I hear them. They’re racing towards me faster than an angry Rapidash in full flow. I fall back, sprawling onto the dirt.

…

But isn’t it, sort of meant to kill me. Because something tells me I’m not dead. For one thing, my back hurts after falling over. Something fishy’s going on here, unless by some Miracle they all missed. I opened my eyes. Through my blurred vision, I could see a lot of shapes on the ground, and only one standing upright. I wiped my eyes, and I saw one person I did not expect.

“MONDO!” He smiled and gave me a thumbs up. He’s grown a lot since I last saw him. Now he was as tall as me, if not taller. He’s as handsome as I was when I was his age. Of course, I’m even more handsome now. But that’s beside the point.

The disconcerting thing that I noticed about Mondo, was that he had a smoking gun in his hand. I knew what had gone down. I was clever enough to work that out. He gestured for me to follow him. I agreed.

I never knew that I would be following him for so long. We climbed over mountains, sailed over lakes, strolled through the forests and ran across the open plains. We talked sparingly, mostly when we were camping out, and it was strictly about old times. Some of the talk brought tears to my eyes. Only one piece of conversation stood out…

*The conversation*

*End of conversation*

I didn’t really understand the significance of that at the time. But I did eventually, when we arrived at our destination. It was a small cave, just to the west of Olivine City. The journey from Viridian had been hard, but Mondo told me that it would be worth it. When I entered the cave, and saw you, your hair gracefully curving back behind your back, your cute nervous smile playing on your lips…

I believed him.

“Jessie…”

“James…”

“I…”

“I…”

“You love each other O.K! Now for god’s sake, stop being so goddamn nervous!”

We both smiled, before hitting Mondo square in the face. Good times are here…That Pain seems to be ebbing away.

This pain you gave to me
You take it all
You take it all away...
This pain you gave to me
You take it all away
This pain you gave to me
Take it all away
This pain you gave to me

[End]

Whew! I wouldn’t mind a review for that. And when I say that….

*puts on shades and German accent*

“remember when I told you I wouldn’t kill you if you didn’t review…I lied.”

*Gunshots*

:p