The Passions of all Our PokeChildren's Days Disclaimer: I, Crazy Ash, do not own Pokemon. I may think I do sometimes, but alas, in truth I do not. About this fic: This fanfic is a spoof, if you will, of soap operas. I used Pokemon characters because I love them and I'm the author. This is meant to be funny and ridiculous. If you don't find it funny, laugh anyway. Ch. 1 HourGlass Ash Ketchum sat at his kitchen table. He was back in Pallet Town. He came back home for one reason and one reason only: to collect his inheritance from his deceased mother. He was going to meet with the lawyers in Cerulean City in less then two hours to discuss what Mrs. Ketchum had left behind for him. "Guess I better get going," Ash said, oblivious of the fact that he was talking to himself. Ash left his small home and got in his former-mother's car. He put the car into reverse and backed out of the driveway, ignoring the strange "THUMP CRACK SPLAT GUSH" that sounded as if someone had been run over. He drove about two feet and then parked the car in front of Gary's house. Ash honked the horn 50 times and when no one came outside he walked to the front door and started rapidly ringing the doorbell over and over. Gary finally answered the door, but Ash failed to stop ringing the doorbell. "Ashura," Gary said seriously. Ash nodded knowingly. "Garyura," Ash responded without stopping ringing the doorbell. They stood there. Ash kept buzzing the stupid doorbell at a fast pace. After a while he slowed down and then eventually stopped completely. "I suppose you've come to pick me up to go to Cerulean to talk to the lawyers about the inheritance that your now deceased mother left us," Gary finally continued. "Yes, I have come to pick you up to go to Cerulean to talk to the lawyers about the inheritance that my now deceased mother left us," Ash annoyingly restated. "Oh, I see," replied Gary as his eyes narrowed and shifted from side to side. "Well you'll have to excuse me. I can't make it today. I have...plans..." he finished. Bum Bum Bummm (Startling/suspenseful music) Ash turned his hat. "Gary, when you talk like that," he turned his hat back to it's normal position and continued in a whisper. "Ahh...how should I put this..." Ash turned his hat backwards again. "You sound kinda...murderous." "M-murderous? Me? That's silly! You're silly Ash! Ha ha ha." Gary looked a little nervous. Ash eyed him suspiciously. "What if my mom left you something?" "Uh, well just-" Gary was interrupted by a shout from Ash. "I call dibbs!" Ash exclaimed. "But Ash-" Gary was interrupted once again. "I call dibbs!" Ash quickly rang the doorbell twice more and then ran towards his car. "See ya Gay-Gay-Gary!" Ash yelled as he drove away. Gary was left on his front porch wondering how a freaky 10 year old like that could drive a car. "Oh well," Gary thought to himself. "Now I can get back to working on my..." Gary stopped and shifted his eyes. "...plans..." Later... "Arg!" The sudden outburst came from a young redhead. "He's never on time! Can't he do anything right?!" A young man spoke up from across the dreary room. "Misty, don't worry. He'll be hear. Soon, I hope." "You hope he'll be hear soon? SOON?! Brock, he was supposed to be hear three hours ago!" Misty spat. "For all we know he's dea-" Before Misty could finish the door burst open revealing a young man in tattered jeans that were also covered in stains. The mysterious boy looked up from beneath his hat. "Hey everyone! Sorry I'm late! I kinda ran into some trouble! Heh heh..." He declared gleefully. A fist slammed down on the table and caught everyone's attention. "Ash Whatever Ketchum! How dare you keep us waiting like this! We've been here for three hours! What kind of trouble' were you in that you couldn't be here on time?!" Misty looked as furious as ever. Ash looked at Misty with a confused look. He noticed that she was wearing some sort of dressed up black outfit thing. He then looked to Brock who was wearing a black suit. Then he looked down at his own clothes. He was wearing his old blue jeans, that were now in shreds, and his blue jacket. "Hey, I didn't know people could change their clothes..." he dumbly stated. Everyone fell over at his brainless remark. "Are you some sort of retard?" Misty questioned as she grabbed the desk while trying to pull herself up. Ash just looked at her with more confusion. His mouth was open and some drool escaped it. "Uhh...Ash, I think you should just tell us what kind of trouble you got yourself in," Brock calmly said as he stood back up. "O-oh yeah. Well, I was on my way here and I thought to myself: Spider-man! Spider-man! Does whatever a spider can! Spins a web Any size Catches thieves just like flies! Look out Here comes the Spider-man!'" BOOM!! (Misty's mallet has struck) "Ash! What does that have to do with anything?" Misty exclaimed. "Well," Ash started as he rubbed his head to relieve the pain, "If you'd listen for a second I could get to my point." Ash stuck out his tongue at her. Misty humphed and Ash resumed speaking. "Anyway, I was thinking it'd be way awesome cool to have radioactive-ariados powers!" "Radioactive-ariados powers, huh?" Brock commented. "That would be pretty way awesome cool. I see where you're going with this. Please, continue." Misty sighed. "What is it with boys and radioactive bugs?" Ash continued with his story as Misty shuddered at the thought of a giant mutant Ariados with Ash's head attacking her house. "Yeah, so of course I went out to look for a radioactive-ariados. I stopped my car near the Viridian forest and started looking for some. Well, the closest I could find to a radioactive-ariados was a radioactive-weedle. At first I didn't know what to do with it, but after it bit me I just ate it." Both Misty and Brock cringed. "So, anyway the next thing I knew a wrecking ball was chasing me out of the forest. Well then a boulder came crashing down from a nearby cliff. It started chasing me too. The boulder caught up with me and narrowly missed running me over. The only harm from that was a few scratches and I ripped my jeans. After the boulder missed me it rolled backwards and crashed into the wrecking ball. The driver jumped out right before the wrecking ball exploded. Then the dude started shooting at me so I ran back to my car and drove as fast as I could until I got here." Ash calmly finished. Misty's mouth hung wide open, "Who the hell would give you a license?!" "Ash, did you recognize the driver of that-that...mad machine? " Brock questioned. "Well...uhh...no. It all happened so fast. The whole ordeal only took about five minutes." Ash responded. "W-w-wait a second! If that only took five minutes where were you for the other two hours and fifty-five minutes?" Misty asked, anger rising in her voice. "Well, ya see I kinda got hungry and on the way here I stopped at Cerulean City's DicDonalds and ordered myself a few hundred DicFlurries..." Ash quickly answered. "I sorta spilled on my pants too..." Misty was about to go all out psycho on Ash when the door suddenly slammed shut. Lightening flashed and the door quickly flew open again. A tall man stood just outside the room. A roll of thunder sounded and the man lifted his head. "Hello." End Ch.1 HourGlass