~Divided and Confused~
Chapter Seven
by cultnirvana

*********************

Ash stood outside the door to the apartment. He knew Misty would be inside, and he didn’t want to go in.

He was so in love with her but knew that he would never be able to make something of it. Yes, he could tell her, and she would probably run a mile. Hi, Misty. Oh, by the way, I’m in love with you. He would most likely get another slap across the face.

Sooner or later he was going to have to go in, so he put the key in the hole and turned. Everything would be fine if he didn’t say anything. All he had to do was hold himself back from the temptation to say or do something. He was sure if anything did happen, he’d lose the respect and closeness of his best friend.

“Hi, Misty.”

She jumped. She hadn’t heard the door opening. Trying to regain her composure, she said, “Ah, you’re home very early.”

“Sorry if I scared you.” He looked at her panicked face, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I was just a little startled.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. I was just thinking. Hey, why are you back so early?”

Ash walked over to the couch and sat next to her, put on an embarrassed smile and answered her question. “She dumped me.”

“What?” Accidentally Misty let a little excitement into her tone. Misty, wise up. You may have wanted this, but he’s still you friend and you should be more considerate. “Oh, Ash, I thought it was going so well?”

“So did I, until I screwed up.”

She let out a small laugh. “Oh, you idiot. What did you do?”

“I don’t really want to talk about it.” He pulled his shoes off, lifted his legs and lay down on the couch, his head in Misty’s lap. “I just want to relax.”

Misty, not knowing where to place her hands, looked down at her friend. He looked miserable. Poor guy, messed up and lost his first girlfriend. When she looked at his face, she noticed one cheek was a little redder than the other. Without realizing what she was doing, she brushed her forefinger tenderly across the area. He flinched slightly.

Ash felt her finger softly stroke the place where he had been slapped. The gentleness sent shivers down his spine. Her touch was so intoxicating to him.

“What happened here? Did you get into a fight again or something?”

“No. Stasi slapped me. It was pretty sore.”

“Hmm, it looks it. So are you going to tell me why she did this?”

“Maybe later.”

She brought her hand down and placed it over his chest, moving the other from his wounded cheek to his long, black hair. She began to delicately tussle it.

Ash closed his eyes at the pleasure of her administrations. “That’s nice.”

He looked so peaceful. She wanted to kiss him, to lay her lips upon his, but she knew that could ruin their friendship.

“So, what do you want to do tonight?" he asked her. "We’ve both have nothing planned, but we can still save the night. Is there any good movies on?”

“Nothing you would be interested. There’s a romance film, but I don’t think you would want to watch it after tonight.”

“I don’t like romance movies at the best of times. They’re too boring. Need a little more action in them. Action movies with romance, that’s okay, but not on it’s own.”

“Oh, men. Sorry, I mean boys.”

He sat up and opened his eyes for the first time in a couple of minutes. “Hey, I’m not a kid anymore. I’m fourteen and people say I’m grown up for my age.”

She laughed. “What people?”

At this point, a fierce argument would normally begin, but Ash’s reply was very different from what she had expected to hear. He sounded a little embarrassed and disappointed. He looked at her with one of the most serious looks she had every seen come from him, and asked her, “Do you still think of me as a kid? I thought I had grown up a lot from the time we first time we met, and it means a great deal to me to have you respect me. I hoped that especially you would notice how much I’ve changed over the past few years. You’re my closest friend, and your opinion means a lot to me. Have I changed?”

She just stared at him for a moment and then a small smile creeped across her face. “You have changed, Ash. You’ve changed so much. You are very mature for you age. You kinda always have been. Remember, I’m over two years older than you, so I guess when we were younger, I did think you were a little kid, but I haven’t for a long time. I’m sorry, I was just trying to tease you.”

“Thanks, Mist. And I was telling the truth. It does mean a lot to me to hear you say that.” They smiled at each other for a minute, and then Ash lay back down and closed his eyes again. “This is nice."

She put her hand back into his hair and started to massage his head. With the other hand she picked up the remote and pressed the red power button. “There’s nothing on so I guess there’s no point having it on.” When she looked back down at Ash’s relaxed face, she noticed he was giggling. “What’s so funny?” she asked, a smile of amusement on her face.

“I was just remembering the first time we met, by the river. The first thing you called me was ‘kid’.”

“Well, I was disappointed. I was fishing for Pokémon, and when I snagged you, I thought I had a Gyarados or something. I was disappointed.”

“Disappointed?” A false sadness spread over his face. She knew he was fishing for compliments.

“I didn’t know you back then. All I saw was a kid. And then when you stole my-” A little anger creeped into her voice. Ash heard it.

“Okay, next subject.”

“It has been over four years and you still haven’t paid me back for blowing up my bike.”

Hoping for a reprieve, Ash put on an innocent tone. “But it was Pikachu that really blew it up.”

“Oh, I know that, but I guess I’d rather blame you.”

“But if I did get you another bike, you might leave.”

“No I wouldn’t. I’m to close to you guys to leave. I mean we’ve barely been out of each other sights for four long years. I wouldn’t dream of leaving you now. I care to much for you guys. You’re like my ... my brothers.”

Brothers. Bad sign. Ash felt that she would never say anything like that if she did have any feelings for him. “Brothers. That close, eh?”

“Of course. I know you and Brock better than I know my own sisters.”

“I guess.”

“You sound a little disappointed.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not.” He paused for a moment and then began again. “We’ve been through so much over the past few years. Faced death a number of times, been torn apart and have always come back together again. I wonder what the future has in store for us over the next few years.”

“More adventures, more opportunity to grow closer, more dangers, but more triumphs. We’ll be able to face anything as long as we are together.” They both clamped hands. “Friends to the end, Ash?”

“Of course.”

*********************

They both talked for hours more, about the things that had happened over the years. Team Rocket, the league, their journeys. Just anything that came up.

“Mmm. I’m starting to get hungry," Ash said.

“You’re always hungry.”

“I know. I’m a growing man.”

“Well, if you don’t watch yourself you’ll begin growing outwards instead of upwards.”

“I’m a fit person so I should be okay.”

They both got up from the sofa and made their way to the kitchen.

Halfway, however, Ash stopped. He just watched Misty walk into the other room. It took her a moment before she realized he wasn’t with her.

They were beginning to bond so much with each other. They had always been the closest of friends, but now, as they were becoming older, they had been drawing together even more. He felt that if she did have feelings for him, a relationship between them would be so deep and meaningful.

At that moment, recalling their conversation that only ended a mere moment ago, he knew for sure that he was madly in love with her and that the feeling would never leave him. He knew what he had said to Stasi earlier was right; if he couldn’t have Misty, he didn’t want anyone else. He could never love them in the same way as he loved her. When he would be with other girls, he would just be able to think of the one he lost, the only one he would every be able to truly love. He guessed that maybe it would be best to be with no one else, and save himself the heartbreak, and that of others, of remembering that he would never have what he truly wanted.

Misty turned around at the threshold of the kitchen, aware Ash wasn’t by her side like he was only a second before. Instead, he was still standing in the living room, a frown on his depressed face. She felt sorry for what had happened to him, even if it made her sleep a little better at night. Stasi may have been her competition, but she had made Ash happy, and if Misty couldn’t have him for herself, she at least wanted that.

She walked back into the living room, and put her arms gently around him. “She really hurt you. I didn’t think you were taking the relationship too seriously as we will be leaving within the week. Come on, tell your big sister what happened.”

He attempted a smile but Misty saw through him.

“Come on, I care about you, Ash. I want to know what you said to her.”

“It was nothing.” The smile dropped from his face. “It’s not her.”

He wanted to continue, but held back the urge to tell Misty how he felt, knowing it was for the best.

“What do you mean? What else has happened?”

They stared at each other for a moment, Misty curious about want he meant, Ash desperate to admit all. Then in a moment of weakness, his love for her broke through and without thinking about the consequences, he brought his face closer to hers, and softly but passionately placed his lips upon hers. He raised his hands, one to rest upon her back, the other to her head for his fingers to touch her hair, so that he could hold her close to his body. The sensation was amazing. He didn’t know how long he had dreamt of kissing her, but no matter how long, he realized one thing - whoever said that anticipation was better that the actual thing had been lying.

His whole body was tingling. His mind had been wiped of all thoughts apart from those regarding her. All he knew was how soft her lips were, how warm her body felt pulled next to his, how sweet she smelled, the silkiness of her red hair. Everything was intense sensation. But then another thought entered to destroy all others, the thought of how what he was doing was wrong.

Immediately, he pulled himself away from her, distressed at what he had let himself do. What would she think of him now? After this, he knew how. She would forget her earlier compliments and begin to think of him as an emotional child again, who can’t even control himself. He took his hands away from her and covered his face in shame, digging the palms of his hands into his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Misty, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m such an idiot.”

Misty stood for a minute, shocked at what Ash had just done. She couldn’t believe it. She had been wrong all along! “I ... I didn’t know you felt that way about me.”

“You never should have. I didn’t want you to know. I don’t want to ruin our friendship because of how I feel. You’re too important to me to lose. Please, Misty, please. Forget this ever happened.”

“What if I don’t want to forget?”

With that she took his hands from his face and gently cupped his head with hers. She then returned his kiss, but it lasted much longer than the first, their tongues dancing within each others mouths. When they parted, Ash whispered, “I didn’t know either.”

*********************

They just lay there, on the sofa, one of her arms over his chest, both of his around her, holding each other close. For a long while the only noise in the room was the soft hum of the television set, until Misty broke the tranquillity.

“So, now we know how each other feel, what do you think we should do about it?”

“I really do want to be with you, Misty, and if we do begin a relationship, if something happens between us, we may never be able to be close friends again. Then again, it’s probably worth the risk.”

“Yeah.”

Just then the two heard a noise from behind them. Misty sat bolt upright and turned to the opening door, to see Brock walk through.

When he looked towards them, he just stared for a moment in shocked fascination. “Sorry, did I interrupt anything?”

Ash pulled himself up from the sofa and sat beside Misty, a little embarrassed, looking towards Brock. “Ah, no.”

“Are the two of you-” His voice trailed off, but both Ash and Misty knew what he meant.

They turned to look to one another to decide what the answer was. Ash nodded his head slightly to Misty, and then they both faced Brock again. “Yeah, we are,” Misty answered.

Brock let out a sigh of relief. “Ah, finally! Now I can worry about my own relationships again!” He then walked into the bedroom without a further word.

Ash and Misty give each other a confused glance before settling down in the sofa again. They both agreed with their friend though - finally!

They stared straight into each others eyes, and at the same moment, spoke. “I love you.”

*********************

Ash walked around the shop, looking at every item behind the counter. He was searching for the perfect box of chocolates for Misty, just a little thing to show her he cared. Misty was a romantic person and he didn’t want to disappoint her.

“Hey,” a voice from behind him said.

He turned to see Stasi standing next to him. “Hey.” He hadn’t gotten a proper chance to apologize to her, and, although everything had worked out as he dreamed, he still felt guilty about what he had done to her. “I’m really sorry about what happened the other day. I just-”

“It’s okay. I understand. You’re in love with her, and if I’d known I wouldn’t have stood in the way of your relationship.”

“I would have told you, but I didn’t realize myself. And I was really scared. I didn’t think she felt the same way.”

“You mean she loves you, too?”

“Yep.”

She smiled at him. “That’s great. I hope everything works out as you wish.”

“So do I. I hope I don’t screw up again, like I did with you.”

“Don’t put yourself down. When we were together, you did everything right, well, apart from falling in love with another girl.”

“Ah, yeah.” He blushed slightly and scratched his head awkwardly.

“Lets forget about what happened and just be friends, okay?” She offered her hand to shake.

“That’s what I hoped for.” He took the hand and shook it gently.

“Well, I better go. Hope to see you again, Ash.”

“Me too.” They let go of their hands. “I’ll never forget you. Your were my first girlfriend.”

“And I will never forget you. I mean I dated thee Ash Ketchum!” She giggled a little. “Good luck with your career, and with Misty.”

“Thanks.”

“See you soon.”

“Bye.” Ash watched her her skip out of the shop.

When she had left his vision, he looked back at the counter. He still needed to find that box of chocolates for Misty, the girl he never thought he would ever have. He wanted everything to be perfect for tonight, their first official date.

*********************

The couple walked across the bridge, hand in hand. He knew it was a little strange to take Misty to the same place he'd only days before taken another girl, but he knew how much she loved the area, and he wanted to go somewhere romantic so they could have a little privacy together.

"I love this place," Misty began. "And thanks for the chocolates, Ash. Their gorgeous."

"Just like you, then."

She giggled a little, a blush on her cheeks. She never dreamed that Ash could be such a romantic person. She looked over the bridge to the water below, which reflected the moon's light. "Tonight has been so perfect. Thank you, Ash."

He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. He was slowly beginning to become accustomed to holding her like this. It still felt a little weird, but in the best possible way. "I can't believe we are together. It's like a dream come true, isn't it?"

"It's something I've been wishing to happen for I don't know how long."

"Now neither of us has to dream anymore." He bent down and gently kissed her neck.

"Mmm. That's nice."

He moved her around, keeping her in his arms, and kissed her intensely on the lips. When they separated, he asked, jokingly, "So, am I a good kisser?"

"Believe me, you had nothing to worry about."

She pulled his head down to hers and they began kissing again, until the need to breathe forced them to separate. They placed their foreheads together, both sets of eyes closed.

"I love you so much, Ash."

"I love you too, Misty."

They just held each other, bodies as close as possible, never wanting to let go of each other, happy that after several days of torture for both of them, their dream had come true.

*********************

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