=Author's Note= Okay, I know this one is kind of short, and it's a really goofy premise. With all the hard-hitting drama I'm about to pump into the series, I thought my audience (all nine of you) could use a little comedy break. If you feel like complaining about this idiotic installment in the BadgeQuest saga, e-mail me straight away. :) =Legal Disclaimer= Pokémon, its characters, locations and all other associated literary and fictitious holdings are not owned by me. Any legal action taken against me will probably cost more than it would result in, so I wouldn't waste my time or my money if I were you. BadgeQuest #6 Dexteria! "Ha ha ha!" Shane's laughter echoed from his high perch atop the mountainous throne. The bubbling lava below his feet cast a satanic glow across his chiseled features. He stared down at the three interlopers. They had made it past his warm-up trainers with a fair amount of ease, but now the real game would begin. He stood and jabbed his finger towards them. "You dare challenge me? I am the Master of Flame!" He pulled out his badge, a small golden torch with a bright, glassy flame. "If you desire the Pyrobadge, you must defeat me. Tell me your name, so I may proclaim your failure across the land." He sneered. One of the three stepped forward. He wore a battered red and white cap tilted backwards on his head. He handed his heavy Indigo League jacket to a lanky, redheaded girl and turned back to Shane. "The name's Ash Ketchum. You have something I want." He lifted his finger and pointed calmly at the badge that Shane held in his grip. "I intend on collecting it." A small, yellow Pikachu bounded up from behind and leapt up onto his shoulder. Shane's eyebrows shot up in amazement. This trainer wasn't like the others; he was confident, unimpressed by the demonic surroundings. This one wouldn't be so easy to intimidate. "Let the match begin." He jumped from his throne onto a stone slab floating atop the lava. "A three-on-three match?" Ash nodded in agreement. "Very well." Shane pulled out a trio of Pokéballs, expanding the first of them to its full softball size then tossing it out into the ring. "Rapidash, I choose you!" The ball spit out a mass of bright white energy that collected into the fiery stallion, Rapidash. The flaming horse stomped and snorted, pawing the ground. Ash rubbed his jaw and pulled out a small, red, flat object from his pocket. It was only about the size of a large calculator, or a palm-top computer. He flipped it open and brought it online, pointing it at the Rapidash. Checking the data it displayed on the screen, he pulled a Pokéball of his own off of his belt, expanding it. "Let's do it, Wartortle!" he yelled, tossing the sphere. Out sprang Wartortle, his first-string Water type. The turtle Pokémon possessed a large feathery tail, and comically sized rudder-like ears. It leered at Rapidash with its golden brown eyes, itching for a fight. Rapidash stumbled back a few steps, instinctively afraid of the overwhelming elemental advantage this newcomer had. It soon overcame those fears, though, neighing at the turtle venomously. "Rapidash, Fire Spin!" With Water types, it was important that you not waste a second, so Shane jumped right into the thick of things. Rapidash instantly responded, spewing out a string of flame that soon formed a twisting, whirling vortex. The raging inferno sped towards Wartortle. The device in Ash's hand beeped, feeding him new data and statistics. He nodded once, then ordered, "Wartortle, Withdraw now!" Wartortle drew its arms, legs, tail and head back into its dark brown shell, falling to the rocky surface of the gym's floor with a clatter. The swirling vortex passed over the shell, leaving a trail of charred soot in its path. Wartortle emerged from its shell relatively unscathed, popping back up to its feet with enthusiasm. It stuck its long red tongue out at Rapidash, infuriating the horse. Shane was scowling now. The boy had trained his Wartortle well. "Rapidash, Flamethrower!" "Wartortle, Bubblebeam!" Ash cut in on the end of Shane's command. Wartortle drew in a large breath of steaming air, then blew out a large column of silvery bubbles at Rapidash. Before the Fire type could dodge, the bubbles struck their mark and drove the horse off of its hooves, sending it crashing back towards the other end of the ring. It slid to a stop at Shane's feet and did not get back up. Shane scowled, recalling his Rapidash. This would require more power. He pulled out the second of his triumvirate. "Ninetails, victory shall come from you!" From the Pokéball came a large, snowy-white fox. A plumage of cream colored feathers erupted from its hindquarters, swaying with each movement the Pokémon took. It cried out, howling at Wartortle. Ash again looked down at the red device. From its scans he could see that the amount of temperature produced by Ninetails was powerful enough to form a heat lens. That meant that it was too powerful for a Water type. Recalling Wartortle meant that he couldn't use it again, according to League rules. Still, if the turtle fainted because its attacks were useless, it would be the same story. "Wartortle, return!" A bright red beam shot from the Pokéball's controls, reconfiguring Wartortle into an energy state, then drawing the Pokémon back into the containment unit for easy storage and travel convenience. He then drew another sphere from his belt. As he expanded it, he turned back to his companions; a tall, well-built young man with wild, unkempt hair and the slim, attractive redhead holding his jacket. He gave them a wink, then tossed the ball. "Charizard, go!" The Pokéball released Charizard, Ash's own Fire type; the large, orange-red dragon stood a towering seven feet tall, not including its thick, flaming tail. It roared, stomping out into the ring with a fearsome glare in its blazing red eyes. It had never been totally obedient, and probably never would be, but it had formed an understanding with Ash. "Charizard, Slash!" Before Ninetails could use any of its overwhelming 'firepower', Charizard leapt into the air. It swooped, bearing down on the firefox with its jagged claws and slashing into Ninetails' tender flesh. Ninetails rolled to the floor, whimpering. It had greater elemental abilities, but was no match for Charizard's superior strength. Shane recalled Ninetails, really sweating now. The third Pokéball was fully expanded, resting comfortably in the palm of his hand. He was down to his last play, his trump card. Then he grinned, regaining his confidence. There was a reason this Pokémon was his trump card; it was unbeatable. It would crush this boy easily! He tossed the ball out into the center of the ring. It split on its unseen hinge, releasing the energy inside. The white haze reformed into a huge dragon of fire, a Charizard even larger than Ash's. It roared, spewing flames all the way to the distant ceiling above. The red device in Ash's hand beeped, calling his attention to its screen. He frowned, then nodded slowly. Behind him, his large, squinty-eyed companion watched the match with his arms folded across his chest, his expression unreadable. The redhead was wringing her hands, obvious worry flowing from her face in waves. Ash quickly recalled Charizard. He, too, was now down to only one Pokémon, even though none of his had fainted; one chance left. The red device beeped again, drawing his focus back to the monitor. He looked over at the electric mouse Pokémon on his shoulder. "Pikachu, you're on." Pikachu nodded, giving him a claws-up, then scampered out into the middle of the ring. Shane laughed as his Charizard began beating its leathery wings, ascending into the muggy air. It roared at Pikachu, growling and puffing smoke from its nostrils. "Charizard is a Towering Inferno! He's an invincible mountain of strength! He's-" "A flying type." Ash smirked. Shane blinked, looking up at Charizard. A flying type. Which was weak against... Pikachu powered up, sparking and glowing with an amber aura of pure, surging power. "Chuuuuu!" A bright bolt of lightning leapt up from Pikachu, piercing the wavering air and slicing into the Charizard's orangish flesh. The fire dragon roared in agony, falling like a Golem dropped by a Fearow, diving into the lava headfirst. Shane gaped in horror as his strongest Pokémon floated to the top of the lava, face down in the liquid fire. "No!" "Oh yeah!" Ash shouted, reveling in his victory. He gave Shane his own personal cliché, a pair of fingers held up in a 'V'. "No one beats Ketchum!" His friends were jumping up and down with excitement on the sidelines. They were all cheering; Ash, his Pikachu, his companions...even the small red box. * * * Giovanni gazed at the screen with silent fury, watching the recording of Ash and company celebrating their latest victory. He pivoted in his overstuffed armchair, stroking his Persian while marveling at the vast wealth contained in this one room alone. Priceless vases, solid-gold statues, beautiful artwork...it was a fraction of his fortune; he could lose an entire building of personal objects, money, even Pokémon, and not miss it for a second. Team Rocket provided him with wealth and power, power beyond anything any other man had ever experienced. But it wasn't enough; it was never enough. He glared at the trio standing on the other side of his desk quietly, studing them. One of them, a tall, beautiful woman with a shaft of crimson red hair, blossoming in the purity of her youth, stood nervously and fiddled with her gloved hands. Her partner, a blue-haired whiny wretch, stared down at his boots in shame. Giovanni's gaze shifted downward until it settled on his former pet, a Meowth who possessed an ability that almost no other known Pokémon had; the ability to speak. This cute parlor trick had amused him at first, but soon became annoying. The beast never knew when to shut up. Consequently, he had placed it with these washouts and let them roam free, hardly bothering to check up on them at all. It had been a disastrous mistake; one, thankfully, that could be corrected. "Jessie! James! Meowth!" he barked. "Yes boss?" Their tones were servile, shaking with the fear of unemployment. He gestured with his free hand at the screen, the image frozen on the Ketchum boy. His other hand continued to stroke the Persian. "Tell me what you see." Meowth made the mistake of speaking out. "Dat's the Twerp." "And what is he doing?" Giovanni asked slowly. Jessie thought about it for a moment. "This?" She made a 'V' with her fingers. Giovanni slammed his hand down on his marble-top desk, scaring the other occupants of the room, including his Persian. "HE IS WINNING!" his face became red, and a vein on his forehead bulged out painfully. Taking a deep breath, the leader of Team Rocket relaxed, leaning back in his seat. "And do you know why?" "Because he's better than that Gym Leader?" James took a wild stab in the dark. "No." Giovanni touched a hidden control under his desk, refocusing the image. It zoomed in on Ketchum's hand, the pixels slowly compiling and coming into focus. Once the image became sharp, you could clearly see the device that Ash held in his hand; his Pokédex. "This," Giovanni began, "Is the reason the boy can defeat us so easily." He scowled, staring hard at the picture of the device. "This 'Pokédex.' It is a translator, a communications multitool, a Pokémon database capable of tactical analysis. It is an edge." His grim demeanor once again shifted to the incompetent triumvirate standing before him. "It is an edge that allows him to beat us. It is an edge we do not possess. That will change." He turned away. "Jessie. James. Meowth. You will acquire this Pokédex-this 'Dexter'-and bring him to me." They saluted him. "When do we start, Boss?" James warbled. Giovanni smiled. "Right now." He pressed another control under his desk. The floor gave away underneath the unfortunate Team Rocket, revealing a sprawling landscape a thousand feet below. They plummeted, screaming out their favorite catch phrase. "Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!" Lucky for them, they had been wearing parachutes. They 'hit the silk' and floated gently down, a pleasant change from their usual plummeting. Giovanni smirked as the hatch closed and air pressure returned to the room. He gazed out the window as his private jet soared on towards its destination. "Soon," he thought, "Very soon, the world will be mine." He began to chuckle, which soon expanded into full-blown megalomaniac supervillian laughter. "All MINE! Hahahahahahahahaaaaaaa!" * * * Brock's brow creased with concentration, sweat beading on his forehead. His free hand had a slight shake to it as he raised it up. He wiped his brow, squinting. Ash stood on tiptoe, peering over his shoulder. The entire Pokémon Center seemed to grow quiet. Ash's face was dead serious. "Okay Brock," he told his friend, "This is it. If you pull this off, you'll be a hero. They'll sing songs about you in that place Vikings go when they die. If you blow it, it's the end of everything." He patted his friend on the back. "Don't choke." Pikachu sat atop Ash's hat, peering down with mild interest. It yawned and scratched its cheek. Brock nodded, looking down at Dexter. The device sat calmly in his hands. If Brock didn't know better, he would swear that the machine was grinning at him. "Well?" the Pokédex asked smugly. "Hit me." The digitized deck of cards on Dexter's screen sent a single car shooting from one end to where Brock's other cards lay. The instant it stopped moving it 'flipped over', revealing an Ace. Brock grinned; the Ace, coupled with his four and five, gave him twenty. "I'll stay." he told Dexter. Dexter beeped. "Player shows twenty." His own hand was revealed; a pair of fours, a two, and an Ace. "Dealer shows twenty-one. You lose!" Brock moaned in dismay as his electronic cash counter went down to zero. "How could I lose? I was showing twenty, that's almost impossible to beat!" He grumbled, smacking himself on the forehead. Ash grinned at Brock's dismay. "Why do you think I stopped playing electronic Blackjack with Dexter? He cheats." Dexter was indignant. "I've never heard anything so ridiculous!" While Brock wasn't looking, he added an extra hundred dollars to his own score. "You're both just sore losers, that's all." Ash shook his head and pulled his new badge, the Pyrobadge, out of his pocket. "That makes fifteen new badges. I am the man!" He grinned broadly, gazing at the badge with quiet joy. "Yeah, the lucky man." Misty surprised him from behind, snatching the badge out of his hand. She ran off, laughing, while Ash dashed off after her. Pikachu was hot on his heels, scolding the pair. People leapt out of the way to avoid the lanky redhead and her raven-haired pursuer. "Can't catch me, League 'Chump'!" Her laughter rang like a bell. Ash gritted his teeth and tried to catch up, but Misty's legs were longer than his; she could easily outrun him. Team Rocket sat across the room, wearing one of their typical, pathetic disguises and sipping coffee as they watched the duo run around like a pair of Kindergartners. James sputtered around his long, stringy stick-on beard, pushing his round-brimmed hat back on his head. "Jessie, these disguises stink! I'm not even Jewish!" Jessie rolled her eyes, pulling her own beard out from between her lips. "I'll bet a 'real' Rabbi doesn't whine nearly as much." she sputtered. Her eyes swept lazily over the room, until they landed on the twerp's brawny companion. It seemed as if he was talking to his hand, until she saw the glint of polished red flash from his palm. She nudged James, trying to pull his attention away from Ash and Misty. "James, look over there. The bigger twerp, that 'Brick' guy or something; he has the Pokédex." James nodded. "Now all we need to do is find some way to get it." He put his chin to his fist, trying to think. His fingers snapped. "Maybe we can trick it out of him!" Jessie frowned, shaking her head. "No. That one isn't quite as gullible as the boy, or his girlfriend." She began cracking her knuckles. "We need something else." Meowth sat down by their feet, dressed in similar garb. He scratched uselessly at his own bearded chin. "Son of a Schmuck! Dis thing is driving me bonkers!" The freakish cat continued to claw at his scrub of fake hair, staring at Brock while Jessie and James began formulating elaborate plans to steal the device. The brawny Pokémon breeder seemed intent on the device, until a gorgeous young nurse strutted past him. His face turned a bright red, and his squinted eyes became glazed over. The Rock Master set the Pokédex down and chased after the vivacious vixen, almost floating with the delight of the chase. Meowth blinked, then looked back across the room; Ash had gotten a bear hug around Misty, locking her into place. She was struggling, elbowing him pretty hard in the ribs, but he refused to relent. The cat turned back to Brock, who had also cornered his quarry. Meowth had to act fast, for the nurse would almost certainly slap her unwanted admirer within minutes. He walked calmly over to where the Pokédex lay, resting on the well-worn cushion of the lobby chair. With a flick of his claw, he switched the power off, then placed the device in the folds of his black jacket. Jessie and James were still plotting as he made his way back to their seats. "Then, once the smoke grenades blind them, the helicopters arrive..." James finished, folding his arms proudly. "Of course, the helicopters might not make it out of here before the missiles hit, but the trained Dewgongs will be able to stop some of the blast with a Barrier, and after that we can rendezvous with the secret submarine, and-" "Hey, guys..." Meowth tried to interrupt. Jessie gave him a look that could freeze a Magmar. "Meowth, can't you see we're in the middle of something very important?" She turned back to James. "What about the fleet of Pidgeys? They'll need some sort of signal to find this place from three vertical miles up." "That's the beauty of it! When the missiles hit, the Pidgeys will know just where to land." "Guys-" Meowth tried again. "But what good will the Pidgeys do once we've blown up the place?" Jessie asked, confused. "You know how the boy can survive large explosions..." James growled, "The Pidgeys will be there to finish the job!" "GUYS!!!!" Meowth drove his razor-sharp claws into each of their legs angrily. They yelped, swatting Meowth away. "What is it, you insufferable insipid infestation?" Jessie spat. Meowth pulled out the Pokédex. "I've got it." He tossed it onto James's lap, then turned and began picking his way through the crowd. Jessie and James were frozen with shock, if only momentarily. Jessie was the first to recover, picking up the device. Then her face blossomed into a hidden smile, masked by the Rabbi's beard stuck onto her face. "We did it...we actually did something right for a change." She giggled with girlish glee, clutching the Pokédex and kissing it as if it were her own child. She leapt up, running after Meowth. "Come on, James, we have a calculator to deliver!" James's mouth was drooping at the corners. "But I liked the idea of using the missiles." he whined, lagging behind. * * * Brock grinned, rubbing the redness in his cheek away. The stinging would probably go away in a moment, it always did. "They always play hard to get." he chuckled to himself. He glanced around the room, finally spotting Ash and Misty continuing their fight across the room. "Say it!" Misty had Ash's arm twisted painfully up behind his back, pressing his face into one of the cushions while jamming her knee into his back. "Say it, and I'll let you go." "Never!" The soft seat cover muffled his scream of defiance. Pikachu sat next to his head, watching their match. It knew better than to get between the two when they were fighting, even if it was play fighting. Better to let them get it out of their system. Pikachu knew all-too-well what happened when they didn't. She grinned maliciously. "I guess you don't like this arm very much, Ashy-boy." She twisted harder, putting more weight on his spine. He groaned. "Well?" "All right, all right!" he finally gave. She stopped momentarily, leaving an ominous silence hanging in the air. Ash mumbled something inaudibly, then tried half-heartedly to break free again. "What was that?" Misty's voice dripped with sugar. "I said, 'I GOT THE CASCADE BADGE OUT OF PITY!' Are you happy now?" He felt like puking after saying it, but better to vomit in disgust than lose an arm to save his pride. He picked up Pikachu and placed the power-packed Pokémon on its precarious perch atop his shoulder. "Deliriously so." She eased the tension on his arm and backed off, letting him up. He scowled at her as he rubbed his arm. "Forgetting something, 'Mr. Champion'?" She held up his Pyrobadge, which he snatched roughly away. He muttered a few choice phrases that shouldn't be repeated in a PG fanfic, then tucked the badge into his pocket. They heard someone laughing behind them, and turned around in unison. Brock shook his head, still chuckling. "It's shameless, the way you two flirt." He gave them a wink. "Guess I'll have that other room to myself tonight." He made a few kissing noises at the pair, continuing to chortle. "Bro-ock!" Their faces flushed beet red as they turned their backs to each other. Both of them were still confused after the incident in Saffron last month. Then Ash frowned. "Hey Brock, where's Dexter?" He glanced at Brock's empty hand. Brock stopped laughing. "Should be right here." He patted his vest down, searching for the elusive device. "Okay, relax, I probably left it over by my seat." He looked over his shoulder to where he was before he had been 'distracted'. "Uh, hang on." He walked over there, Ash hot on his heels." "Brock, where is it?" "Don't' worry, relax." Brock tried to assure his friend, but he was becoming upset himself. "It probably just fell into the seat cushion." He ran his hand through the crack in the seat, but found nothing. "Uh..." "Brock, I want my Pokédex!" Ash was barely containing his panic. Brock ripped the cushion from the chair and tossed it aside, then did the same with the chair next to it. "It was just here a second ago, it couldn't have just gotten up and walked away!" * * * Dexter abruptly came on-line. "You know, I really hate it when you guys turn me off right in the middle of a game." he said flippantly. The cards on his display shuffled. "So, you wanna go another round?" Then his identification scanners kicked in, alarming him with an interesting fact; "Hey, you aren't Brock!" Giovanni smiled, leaning back in his chair. "No. I am not 'Brock'." There was a long pause. "So, do you want to play Twenty Questions, or do I get your name as a freebee?" "I am Giovanni, leader of Team Rocket." If Dexter had been in possession of a jaw at that moment, it surely would have dropped with shock. "Giovanni? As in 'Giovanni Incorporated', that Giovanni?" He beeped in awe. "You can't be leader of Team Rocket, you're one of the richest men in the world, and one of the most powerful men in the Indigo League." "How do you think I came across such power?" Dexter whistled. "Wow, wait until I tell Ash!" "You won't be doing that." "Huh? Why not?" "Because..." Giovanni snickered, "You are mine." He threw his head back and roared with laughter. "Uh, excuse me." Dexter interrupted Giovanni's 'glee time'. "Sorry to cut in on what was no doubt a wonderful trip into mental instability, but...what are you going to do with me?" The imposing, broad-shouldered menace leaned forward, fingering the device. "You," he commanded the machine, "Will tell me the secret of Ash Ketchum." "Secret? What do you mean?" Giovanni stared at the machine. "I know that you possess the key to the boy's victory. You are the reason he wins. If you are not, then you know what is. I have been watching you for a very long time, through my spies." "You mean Klink and Dink and their talking tabby?" Dexter asked, "Yeah, we've known about them for a while." He showed Giovanni several videoclips of Jessie, James and Meowth being thrown violently over the horizon. "You need to invest in better espionage." "Nevertheless, you will tell me his secret." "Nope." Dexter stated flatly. "I'll never tell." "And if I were to erase your hard drive?" "Okay, secrets." Dexter said quickly, bringing up a menu of several different choices, "Let's see...I have embarrassing stories, diary entries, digital photos...what're you in the mood for?" "Tell me the ultimate secret of Ash Ketchum. The one thing that could destroy him." Dexter thought about it for a moment. "Stuff that could destroy him, huh? Well, he doesn't like bullets...but that's probably true for most of you humans, huh? Fire...Ice...Drowning...Sharp things, that does it for a lot of people-" Giovanni slammed Dexter down onto the table in a fit of rage. "Hey, watch the casing!" "Insolent waste of hardware, tell me Ash Ketchum's secret!" He had lost all patience, and was quickly losing control. "Tell me now!" "Oh that's easy: He's in love with M-" "Jessie! James! Meowth!" Giovanni barked into his intercom. Without missing a beat, the trio stumbled into his office. "Take this device to the specially equipped room I had set up below deck. I want you to take this thing apart and scan its memory, byte by byte." He tossed the Pokédex to James, who caught it clumsily. "You can count on us, Boss." They exited the room, listening to the box squawk. "You'll never make me talk! Never! Never!" Giovanni sighed as the door snapped shut. He looked down at the surface of his desk, which was now marred with a scratch and a small dent. Dealing with the Ketchum boy was becoming very trying on his nerves...and as such, his empire. The boy represented a small thorn, to be sure, but the thorn had been stabbing into his side for years now. It had disrupted some of the most vital operations this organization had ever seen. This machine represented a chance to wipe him out, permanently. It had to work...it had to. * * * Misty descended the stairs in the Pokémon Center, heading back down to the lobby. She was dressed in her usual pajamas; faded blue sweatpants, an ancient T-shirt that was riddled with stains and holes, and her favorite Psyduck slippers. She cradled Togepi in her left arm and covered a yawn with her right. "Ash?" she mumbled, half-asleep. Ash was still hunting the lobby, trying to find his precious Pokédex. Even after nine hours, he showed no signs of slowing. He checked and re-checked every single cushion in the lobby. Even the doctors and nurses had gone home for the night, and the Graveyard shift looked more asleep than Ash. There were large black bags under his eyes, and the hair sticking out of his cap was drooping down. Pikachu was fast asleep on one of the couches at the far end, curled up and lost in dreamland. It had long since given up aiding its trainer in his search. "Ash, go to bed. It's one in the morning." Misty rubbed her eyes with her free hand. Togepi napped in her embrace, trilling softly. He grunted, barely acknowledging her. "Where is it? I gotta find it." She groaned, rolling her eyes as she walked towards him. "Look, Brock feels terrible. We both spent an hour looking for it, and another five hours tracking down anyone who might have taken it. It's time to go to bed." He didn't answer. He checked under another series of chairs, stumbling over his own feet. Fighting off exhaustion, he pushed himself to his hands and knees. "I...gotta find Dexter." She grabbed his arm and helped him up. "Ash, please, just go to sleep." Her voice was filled with concern. "You're going to drop if you keep this up, and that isn't going to help things." She began dragging him towards the stairs, but he resisted. "I can't just give up. Dexter's out there, he's helpless..." Ash mumbled, stumbling over to Pikachu. He picked the still-sleeping Pokémon up softly, cradling it in his arms. "I can't just abandon him. I promised that I would never abandon any of my friends." His head drooped. "Even a Pokédex." He shivered, suddenly cold. The stress of the past day had finally caught up with him; his adrenaline had slowed to a trickle. He sat down heavily, unable to stand on his own two feet. Misty walked over and sat down next to him. "That's fine, but what about you? You think that depriving yourself of sleep and food is going to get Dexter back?" He didn't have an answer. "Come on." She put his arm around her shoulders and stood, lifting the both of them up despite her own fatigue. "Let's get you to bed before you pass out." She gently led him to the stairs. A slight, serene smile played across Ash's lips. "What?" He glanced down at his arm wrapped firmly around her shoulder. "Nothing." She shrugged and began to haul them up the stairs. There seemed to be many more of them now that she was hauling up a passenger and a pair of pooped Pokémon. "Jeez Ash, go easy on the cheesecake..." * * * Jessie shivered, drawing her skimpy Team Rocket jacket tighter around her shoulders. The Boss had converted the entire lower deck of his private jet into some sort of crazy computer central. The walls of the narrow space were covered in CPUs the size of refrigerators, separated by the occasional monitor or terminal. It stretched from the far front of the plane all the way to the aft section. James was already sitting down at one of the terminals, plugging Dexter into the vast computer network. "In a little bit, we'll know everything this talking calculator knows." He cackled. "Calculator!" Dexter's synthetic voice was filled with offense. "How dare you call me a calculator! Unless you mean one of those SuperComp 791s. Man, I'd love to run files with one of those sweet little-" "Aw, shut up!" Meowth squawked. He pushed James out of the way and began typing, bringing up the hacking program specially designed for decoding Pokédex data. "Let's just scramble the little Palm Pilot and figure out what makes that kid so great." The screen blinked for a moment, then began displaying line after line of zeroes and ones. Before Meowth could hit another key, the numbers jumped and danced, spraying across the screen. "Access Denied" flashed in bright red letters across the monitor. Meowth growled. "The stupid thing has a security device." "That's not all, Happy Cat." Dexter said smugly. "I just triple encrypted every single one of my files. You aren't getting one single bit of information out of me." James picked Meowth up out of the seat and threw the cat aside, reclaiming his spot. "We'll see about that!" He double clicked on a particular file, 'Alpha Infiltration'. The screen flashed red, then displayed a status bar. After a moment, the bar jumped from zero to one percent. Dexter was straining against the program, but slowly losing. "Hey...no fair." "Soon, you'll be nothing but a pile of silicon dust!" Jessie cackled, leaning on James's head. Together they laughed, reveling in their victory. After all these years, after all the hardships and frustrations this boy had put them through, it would finally be their turn to win. Then Jessie blinked, looking at the monitor. It had hardly moved at all; two percent, and struggling. "Hey, what's taking so long?" James's hands danced across the keyboard. "His encryption pattern keeps shifting." "Well, shift with it." He frowned. "It's shifting at a rate of three hundred new encryption patterns per second. Our computer is having trouble keeping up with it!" He typed furiously, but the progress meter was moving unbelievably slow. "It'll take at least forty-eight hours, maybe more." "Bet on it." Dexter said. Still, its own software was being strained to the limit. It could barely keep ahead of this new Rocket supercomputer. The Pokédex hoped Ash would come looking for it...if he even noticed it was missing. * * * Ash sat up with a start. How long had he been sleeping? The trainer rubbed his eyes, trying to get the sleep out of them. "Misty, why'd you let me sleep in? It's bright as day out-" he looked around. This wasn't the hotel room, that was certain; he was flat on his back, lying on a solid white surface. It was cold, but soft. He pushed himself up on his elbows to get a look around. All he could see was a white haze, like a thick, rolling fog that encompassed all of reality. He stood up. "Where am I?" He patted his belt down, but his Pokémon weren't there. "Hey!" He looked around; no Pikachu either. "Well, this is just great. I'd better be dreaming, or someone's going to be eating my fist." "So filled with aggression. Yet you lack focus." Ash whirled around at the soft voice's intervention. It was her; the same soft, probing eyes, the same flowing white gown, the same raven black hair, the same serene, beautiful features...it was the woman who had appeared to him in Saffron. She stood behind him, her hands clasped behind her back. She gazed at Ash with the same sad smile. "It's you! Who are you?" "You are straying from the set path. Your destiny is set; the Armageddon is approaching." Ash scratched his head. "Yeah, about that whole 'end of the world' thing. I was kind of hoping you could fill me in on some of the details about that." She began to move towards him, gliding over the soft white surface below them. "You worry about the Tool. Your concern consumes you. You are straying from the path." "Tool?" Ash was more confused than ever. "You mean Dexter? Of course I'm worried, he's missing!" He turned around, looking for some sort of escape. "Wherever this is, you have to let me out. I need to find Dexter." "The Dark Mortal has him." Ash looked back, astonished. "His minions are invading the Tool as we speak." Ash's hands clenched into fists, his face growing red. "Do you think you could maybe, just maybe, speak in a coherent sentence?" He stamped his foot in frustration. "I need details! Where is he, and who has him?" "The Dark Mortal. The one who will aid the Despised One in his escape." She met her eyes with his, sending a chill down his spine. "Well, that just makes perfect sense." Ash muttered. The serene woman laid a hand on Ash's shoulder. He shivered; her hand was colder than ice. "You must forget the Tool. To seek him could lead you astray from the path." He frowned. "You said 'could'." He looked up at her, still not sure of what to make of all of this. "That means you don't know if it will or not." She turned away. "The prophecy has been set in motion. Disrupting the path you are now on will only end in sorrow, Disciple." She began to walk away, fading into the white mist. "Maybe I don't want to be your disciple!" he yelled after her, but she was already gone. "Come back here! I'm not finished! What is it I'm supposed to do? Tell me!!!" * * * Misty pushed her head through the open door, peeking in. Ash was tossing and turning in his sleep, muttering like a psychopath as he twisted to and fro. She shook her head sadly, then pulled back and softly closed the door. She made her way back to the adorning room, trying to make as little noise as possible so as not to disturb Brock's call. Brock looked at the video projection of Professor Oak on the vidphone screen. "Isn't there anything we can do, Professor?" He ran a hand through his chestnut brown hair, which was more haphazard than usual. "I feel terrible about losing it." The aging Pokémon researcher operated a keyboard somewhere off-screen. "I'm trying, Brock, but Dexter's transponder signal doesn't seem to be operating. Perhaps he was damaged, or perhaps there's some sort of electromagnetic interference cutting the signal off." He stifled a yawn with his palm. "I'll keep trying, but for now there isn't anything you can do. I suggest you try and get some rest. I'll call the instant I find something." "All right." Brock sighed. "Thank you, Professor Oak." The scientist gave his young friend a small wave, then cut the connection. Brock pivoted in his chair, rubbing his eyes. He saw Misty standing in the doorway. "How is he?" he asked without looking up. "Sleeping." she said, collapsing on the bed. "I think. I've never seen anyone sleep so fitfully...like he's having a nightmare, only worse." Her longtime friend only half-heard her. He was staring out the window. "It's all my fault." he kept repeating, "If I had only been more careful." "It was an accident. How did you know that someone would take it?" she tried to comfort him. He shook his head. "It's no excuse. That Pokédex has always meant a lot to Ash. It was just as much a part of his team as Pikachu or Bulbasaur, or any of the others." Misty sighed. Sometimes she felt like traveling with Brock and Ash was like taking care of a couple of ten-year-old boys who had just lost their first Pokémon match. "Get some rest. The Professor'll find Dexter, then we can all get on with our lives." She curled up into the fetal position and dozed off before he could respond. Brock looked back at his friend, smiling despite himself. Misty was right. She usually was, at least about things like this. She was probably the closest thing to a girlfriend he had ever had. At the rate he was going, she was the closest he would ever have, period. That poor fool Ash didn't know how lucky he was to have her. Brock shook his head, pushing those thoughts out of his mind. Time enough for a girl hunt later; right now, sleep came first, then making this whole fiasco up to Ash. He yawned, crawling into bed. His muscles ached and protested at the movement, quieting once he was lying flat on his stomach. Sleep would definitely come first. * * * Meowth batted a ball of string between his paws. First one way, then the other, then back again. It had gotten monotonous after five minutes, it had blown past 'boring' after three hours had rolled by, and by hour six it was well into the stages of 'despicable'. The progress monitor on the computer screen only read seventeen. The freakish cat moaned. "Oh, shut up Meowth!" James snarled, sitting upside-down in the computer terminal's chair. He had almost fallen asleep about a dozen times, but Meowth's whining had brought him back to consciousness each time. The blood was rushing to his head, giving him a pounding migraine. Jessie growled at him, lying flat on her back on the cold metal grating of the deck. "Shut up yourself." Her eyes drilled into the screen from where she lay. "How much longer?" "At the rate you guys are going, you'll be able to cash in on Team Rocket 401K plans by the time you hack into my files." Dexter quipped from atop the desk. "Shows how much you know." James sneered, "We don't have a 401K." Dexter began to formulate a plan inside its processor. It couldn't last forever against this monster program, and its transponder wasn't working. "So, you don't have any sort of plan for your retirement?" James shook his head. "Ah, a gambler. My kind of person." "Gambler?" Jessie raised her head off the deck, glad that something had finally come along to take her mind off the boredom. "Sure, a gambler. You're gonna operate on luck once you're out of Team Rocket. Bet you're a real card sharp, too." James beamed, flipping rightside-up. "I've been known to rig a few decks." "How about a game?" Dexter brought its Blackjack program out of encryption, activating the execute program and bringing it up on its monitor. "Blackjack's always fun." "I don't know..." James was a bit wary. "The Boss might not like us playing games on that thing." Jessie shoved him out of the way. "Fine, then I'll play. Anything is better than staring at that stupid meter." She tapped Dexter's controls, getting a feel for the game. "Okay you over-powered encyclopedia, deal me in." James and Meowth stood behind her, staring intently at the game. While it electronically doled out the cards, Dexter secretly activated his Internet functions. If he played this just right, his message in a bottle would be found in time. "Okay, sweet lady, the game is Blackjack. Of course, we can't play for nothing, now can we? Strip Poker rules?" Jessie thought about it for a moment, then pulled of her long, black latex glove. "Fine by me. But if I win, you decrypt more of your files." James's and Meowth's jaws dropped in shock, but they kept quiet. "Deal." Dexter chuckled to himself. 'If I win', she said. Like that could ever happen. * * * "Ash." Brock gently tapped the trainer on the arm as he slumbered, head tossing on the pillow. "Ash." he tried again. The boy would not wake up. Brock looked over at Pikachu, sitting on his shoulder. "What's his problem?" he asked the electric mouse. Pikachu shrugged. Ash was muttering something in his sleep, incoherent sentences that made no sense whatsoever. "Ash!" Exasperated, Brock reached over and pinched Ash's nose shut. Ash snorted, struggled, then sat up gasping for air. "W-who? What? Where is she?" His eyes looped around in their sockets, finally coming to rest on Brock and Pikachu. "What is it?" "Professor Oak just called. He said he had gotten e-mail from Dexter. He's being held on a private plain out at the island's airfield." Brock helped his friend out of bed, tossing him a pair of pants and his jacket. "Who took him?" Ash slipped into the pants and threw one arm through his jacket sleeve, struggling with the other. "Why is he at the airfield?" Brock shrugged. "Oak said something about Team Rocket. He said we'd find Dexter on a private plane owned by Giovanni Industries Incorporated." Ash froze. "Giovanni?" Why would someone as rich and powerful as Giovanni be involved with Team Rocket? Could he be... "The Dark Mortal..." Ash murmured. He unfroze, grabbing his hat from the bedpost and sliding it onto his head, turning it one-eighty so the bill faces backwards. "Let's go Pikachu." His Pokémon bounded off of Brock's shoulder and scampered after Ash as he left the room. "Dark Mortal?" Brock scratched his head. "Hey Ash, wait up!" He ran from the room, trying to catch Ash and gain an explanation. * * * "Twenty. Looks like I win again!" James groaned. He was sitting on the cold metal deck, clad only in his boxers. Jessie sat barefoot next to him, maintaining her dignity in her black top and skirt. She had let James take her place in the game before her honor as a lady had been besmirched. Dexter still rested on the table, sitting next to a fair-sized stack of neatly folded clothing, gloves and boots. James had tears in his eyes as he reached down. "Woah there cowboy." Dexter said quickly. Technically (very technically) speaking, Dexter didn't have gender. Still, the thought of seeing James totally nude created a very bad feeling in its CPU. "I want the charm." Meowth backed away in horror. His paw shot up to his forehead, protecting his beautiful gold charm. "No way. Uh-uh." He whined. "What, you're backing out on me now?" Dexter said in his most accusing tone. He still needed to buy more time. Where was the Calvary when he needed it? "Figures. Guess Team Rocket isn't at all what I've heard it was." "Give him the charm." James demanded. He reached for Meowth, pinning the cat's arms. Dexter would have smiled, had he possessed lips; these three were easier to trick than a sixteen-bit processor. "Come on, Meowth, give it up!" "WHAT IN BLAZES IS GOING ON HERE?" Giovanni stood at the bottom of the circular steps, his face growing red with fury. "Jessie! James! Meowth! What is the meaning of this?" He crossed the room in three steps, rage fueling his speed. "I-it was just a harmless game, Boss." James stuttered, blood draining from his face. "Just to pass the time." "We didn't think-" Jessie started. "No, you didn't think." Giovanni barked coldly, glaring at them. They shrank back from him, cowering. Giovanni shifted his attention to Dexter, sitting next to the articles of clothing. With one motion, he picked the Pokédex up and ripped it from the computer access cord, disconnecting it from the decryption processor. "I grow tired of your tricks and your foolishness, pathetic machine. Tell me what I want to know; how does Ash Ketchum win?" Dexter remained defiant. "I'll tell you what everyone knows, Evil Boy. Ash trains hard and he never quits." "It cannot be that simple. Tell me now, or bid farewell to your own consciousness program." Dexter didn't say anything. Giovanni decided to take another approach. "What has the boy done to instill such loyalty into such a weak creature?" "What do you mean?" Giovanni smiled evilly. Trying to keep quiet, Jessie and James reclaimed their clothes and began to dress. "I could give you power beyond anything you have now. Your programming is sophisticated, complex..." Giovanni told Dexter, "but limited. You lack power. I could give you a CPU the size of a house." Dexter was shocked. "A house? Really? I mean, NO!" "Think about it." Giovanni cautioned him. "You would have access to infinite amounts of data...multitasking thousands of functions per second, providing information and tactical analysis to thousands of people at any given moment." Granted, they would have been members of Team Rocket, but Giovanni didn't bother to mention that. "RAM?" Dexter's voice shivered. "As much as you want, and more." Giovanni could sense the machine starting to weaken. "All you have to do is give me access to your files...that's all." He held the Pokédex up to his face. "Do we have a deal?" "I...uh..." Dexter was confused. Should it take the deal? Was Ash really worth giving up all that up? Another offer like this would never come along. Why shouldn't it take it? What did Ash give it that an unbelievably powerful processor couldn't? All it had to do was... Was betray a friend. * * * "There's the plane." Misty whispered, crouching behind a stack of barrels sitting next to an unloading bay. She looked over at Ash, Brock and Pikachu, squatting in a similar position to avoid being seen. Sneaking into the airfield had been the easy part. Now they just needed to get onto the plane. "So how do we get in without getting noticed?" Brock posed the question they were all thinking. He looked over at the huge airplane, thinking of ways to infiltrate the craft without being seen. Ash stood, a grim look splayed across his face. Pikachu 'pika'ed questioningly, looking at its trainer. "We don't." Misty and Brock gave him a curious look, glancing at each other questioningly. "We try the direct approach." "Asking nicely if they'll give Dexter back?" Misty said sarcastically. Ash glanced back, expanding a Pokéball in his hand. "Something like that." He drew his arm back and hurled the ball out at the plane. "Articuno, I choose you!" "Articuno!!!" Brock and Misty were shocked; he hadn't tried using the legendary bird of ice since capturing it. One had to wonder whether or not the avian would turn on its newfound master, much less obey him. But it was too late to turn back; the Pokéball split on its unseen hinge, producing a large mass of glowing energy. In the blink of an eye, the energy coalesced into a titanic winter-blue bird. Articuno, the mythical bird. Ash clenched his fist, pointing his other hand at the plane. "Articuno, Ice Beam!" His newest addition to the team glanced back at him, then flew high up into the sky. "Cunewwwwwww." It left a trail of ice crystals sparkling in the twilight as it hovered high above the aircraft. Opening its beak, it began spewing a massive column of freezing blue-white energy. The Ice Beam streaked down towards Giovanni's plane, leaving a trail of condensation in its wake. * * * "Choose now, small device; ultimate power with Team Rocket, or deletion with the boy." Giovanni demanded. He shook the device, waiting for an answer. Dexter's mechanical mind raced, trying to reach a conclusion. Why shouldn't he take this? If Ash was such a great friend, where was he now? As if on cue, the entire plane shuddered and shook, tossing the occupants around wildly. Giovanni's jaw dropped in horror as one wall of the plane began to turn a bluish hue, radiating with cold. Before he could shout orders to his trio of lackeys, the hull of the plane exploded inward, showering them with shards of steel and iron. The Team Rocket leader shielded his face, feeling his rage welling up within him again. "What is going on?" he growled. Silhouettes became visible as the dust and debris settled to the floor. Standing below the plane, Ash Ketchum glared up into the 'door' he had made. Brock and Misty were behind him, and a small army of Pokémon behind them; Charizard, Bulbasaur, Wartortle, Pikachu, Staryu and Starmie, Onix, and Graveler. Articuno circled above them, joined by Pidgeot and Golbat. Ash thrust his fist high into the air. "Give me back my Pokédex!" his voice echoed ominously across the open airfield. Dexter beeped defiantly at Giovanni. "I'm gonna have to decline that generous offer, Rocket Man. Something better just came along." Jessie leapt down through the jagged crater in the plane, landing on one knee. She growled at her longtime nemesis, pulling out her duet of Pokéballs. "If you want your calculator so badly, come and take it back." the vixen sneered. She tossed the spheres out, releasing Arbok and Lickitung. Her reptilian duo, a gigantic purple snake and an orally endowed, rotund pinkish gecko were reformed from the dazzling energy. "That is, if you can defeat us!" "Not much chance of that." James called out, mimicking Jessie as he tossed out his own Pokémon. Weezing, his hideous set of gas-filled balloons, and Victreebell, a biological terror with a mean streak, landed next to Jessie's team of pocket monsters. "Bring it on, twerp." "To protect the world from devastation," Jessie started them off. "To unite all peoples within our nation." "To denounce the evils of truth and love," they began walking forward, grinning maliciously. "To extend our reach to the stars above!" "Jessie!" "James!" "Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light." Meowth leapt down, getting ready for the big finish. Giovanni smirked, watching his Team Rocket performing from above. No wonder they always lost. They wasted their time with this drivel. Still, there was something to be said for team spirit. Not much, mind you, but something nonetheless. He shuffled over to the edge of the hole, looking down at the boy. "Here. Catch." He called out, tossing the Pokédex down. It flew straight and fast, streaking towards Ash's head. The Pokémon trainer caught it a split second before it crashed into his skull. He looked the device over suspiciously. "Are you okay, Dex?" He asked the machine. Flipping it open, he scanned the control surface. Everything seemed okay. "I think so. They didn't get into anything, don't worry." Dexter reported, happy to be back in friendly hands once more. Ash smiled. "The only thing I was worried about was you, you stupid machine." He then shifted his attention back to Giovanni, glaring up at him. He still wasn't sure what Giovanni's connection to Team Rocket was. Whatever the link, it made them enemies. It was Team Rocket's move now. "Well?" "Go." Giovanni's uttering was barely audible from high above. He folded his arms across his massive chest. His smirk grew into an arrogant smile. James began to sputter. "Boss, what are you saying? We can get rid of him here and now!" "We're outnumbered and outgunned." His eyes narrowed, the corners of his mouth turning downward. "But there will be another day, Boy. Count on it." Ash glared at him, then turned around and began walking away. Brock stumbled after him, confused. "Wait a minute," he started, "No fight? No big battle, just 'walk away', and that's it?" Misty shook her head. "Okay with me." She began following Ash, their Pokémon following suit. Brock looked first to his receding friends, then to the enemy, then back again. "That's just not how it works!" he cried out, running after them. "Where's the battle?" * * * Dexter sighed. "It's good to be home." Ash, stretched out on the motel bed, grinned at his mechanical buddy. "Amen to that." He picked up Pikachu and began playing 'Airplane' with him, flying the small rodent around the room while making whooshing sounds. It was Pikachu's favorite game. Misty shook her head at the two, smiling; age or no age, they would never grow up. She crashed on the bed, landing next to Dexter. "So let me get this straight; the CEO of Giovanni Industries Incorporated is also the leader of Team Rocket?" She scratched her head. "Yep." Dexter placed a pair of icons on his screen; a Team Rocket 'R', and the GII logo. He drew an equal sign between the pair. Misty sighed. "So, let me get this straight-" "Asking the same thing over and over again isn't going to make the answer different." Brock moaned, sprawled out in one of the chairs. He held a Styrofoam cup filled with nearly untouched coffee. "I know it doesn't make any sense, but that's the way it is." "So now what do we do?" Misty's question prompted Ash to stop his flight of fantasy with Pikachu. He became serious, setting the electric mouse Pokémon on his shoulder. "We find a way to beat him." The room became quiet. No one knew quite what to say to Ash's ultimatum. Brock sipped his coffee uneasily as Misty stared up at the ceiling. Finally, Dexter tooted an electronic wake-up call, cutting through the silence. "Hey, anyone for a game of Blackjack?" it asked. Brock smiled, climbing out of his seat. "Deal me in." "Me too." Ash and Pikachu scampered over to the Pokédex, eager for a distraction. Misty smiled, sauntering over. "You'll have to teach me to play." Brock grinned at her. "Sure thing. First rule is, you gotta make sure Dexter doesn't cheat." "Cheat? Me?" Dexter exclaimed indignantly, already stacking the deck against them, "I've never heard of anything so ridiculous!" They laughed together, as only old friends could. It was good to be back together. End Next- BadgeQuest #7 The Master's Ball -Quiet Hindsight- I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. That's about the best I can do to comfort all of you-and by you, I mean the three of you that didn't give up disgustedly after the first three pages-after reading this. I guess it's true; "Dying is easy, Comedy is hard." Stay tuned for the next exciting chapter of Pokémon: BadgeQuest