A/N:
Okay, here’s part 2, in all its insane goodness! And believe you me, it IS
insane. And to those of you who noticed the absence of a very important
character in chapter 1, don’t worry; He’ll be appearing in this one!
And
if you haven’t seen/read Lord of the Rings, this will make no sense to you.
…Thinking
about it; if you have seen/read Lord of the Rings, this will make no
sense to you.
Dedication:
To CrazyPika, for being a great friend ^^ and for encouraging me to write more
of this literary fiasco otherwise known as a “fanfic”
Disclaimer:
No, I still don’t own Pokémon …or Legsie. Woe is me. Oh: I don’t own the film
“Pirates of the
***
--
LEGSIE! --
After
the recent total and utter obliteration of the Lair of Insanity’s Kitchen, the
houses’ residents were being forced to cook their food elsewhere… which, when
you take into consideration the Pokémon who live in the house, can only mean
trouble.
“Sianne…”
“Go
away! I almost have it!”
“Sianne…
really, I can light the fire in less than a second…” Hlin the Charizard said,
looking pitifully at the scene before her.
“No!
Must… create… fire… through… rubbing… sticks… together!” Sianne the Raichu was
sitting in the living room desperately trying to make a fire by rubbing two
sticks together, creating only a pile of sawdust. Her friends; Blaise, Sarah,
Hlin and Wilbur were watching with mixed expressions of pain and amusement.
“Sianne?
That’s what you said an hour ago and you haven’t gotten anywhere!” Sianne’s
best friend, Sarah the Marshtomp pointed out, hoping to eat her lunch of
noodles before it was time to go to bed.
“I’m
making progress! The sticks are warmer than they were!”
“But
me or Hlin could easily light the fire! Why do you feel the need to make it
yourself?” Blaise, a Quilava recognizable by her “Flame of Moltres” T-shirt,
sighed.
“I’m being independent!” Sarah said happily,
not really taking the hint.
“And
Sianne… that is GREEN wood! You’re never going to make a fire out of that!”
Hlin said, on the point of yelling.
“Watch
me!”
“Grrr…”
Hlin just glared at the twigs, which had been practically reduced to little piles
of dust and then could take it no longer.
“Hey!
Look over there!” She pointed out of the window and everyone turned to look.
Hlin seized the opportunity and spat a tiny ember onto the tip of one of the
sticks, which caught fire.
“I
don’t see anything…” Wilbur, Sarah the Swinub’s Pudgy Pidgey said, straining
his eyes to see anything vaguely interesting out of the window.
“It
was… um… a really big Swellow!” Hlin said quickly. “Hey! Look Sianne! You’ve
made fire!”
“Wow!
So I have! I rule! I’ve created fire! My name will go down in all the history
books! I can see it now…’2004: Sianne the Raichu creates fire’, I’ll be so
famous… OW!” Sianne was so taken up in her fantasy she failed to notice that
the fire had burnt the entire twig and then burnt her fingers. She dropped the
twig instantly and waved her hand around, trying to cool it down. Sarah quickly
used Muddy Water to put out the fire and then to cool down Sianne’s hand.
Blaise and Wilbur went and got a propane gas camping stove from the basement
and brought it up to the living room. Five minutes later, they were cooking
food and roasting marshmallows on cocktail sticks.
“This
is fun!” Wilbur said, munching happily on a millet spray.
“Yeah,
almost as cool as a real barbeque!” Blaise agreed, cooking her quorn and tomato
kebab on her head flame.
“Sarah,
you’re dripping marshmallow on the carpet.” Hlin pointed, “But since the carpet
is in near tatters after all those objects rampaged through here yesterday, I
doubt it matters.”
“One
marshmallow left!” Sarah yelled, leaping for the bag.
Sianne
turned her head and saw it; the last marshmallow, sitting in the bag, in its
pink, fluffy marshmallowness. The world seemed to enter slow motion.
“NOOOOOOOOO!!!”
Sianne yelled, also leaping for the container.
Both
Sarah and Sianne grabbed the bag at the same time, and tried to yank if off
each other, tugging this way and that with all their might. Eventually,
however, the bag couldn’t hold out any longer and ripped right down the middle,
sending the marshmallow flying into the air, rotating slowly before beginning
to fall to the ground.
Sarah
made a jump for it, but Sianne was quicker. She leaped onto the coffee table,
off her friends’ head and grabbed the marshmallow in mid-air, lading safely on
the sofa with it clasped in her paws.
“My
precioussss…” she hissed, stroking it, doing a near-perfect impression of
Gollum. Sarah, having recovered from having her head jumped on by a slightly
overweight Raichu, shook her head and whirled around, seeing Sianne stroking
the marshmallow. She made another leap for it, but Sianne saw her in the corner
of her eye. She held the marshmallow between her teeth and leaped upwards,
narrowly dodging Sarah, who landed on the sofa. Sianne grabbed the light
fixture and swung from it a couple of times, building up momentum, before
letting go, soaring through the air, and landing on the navy chair with a
“Tada!” She threw the marshmallow into the air, balanced it on the nose for a
few seconds before eating it in one gulp.
Sarah
glared at her friend before turning to her noodles and wine gums and eating
them instead. Sianne gave her “peace” sign to everyone, marking her victory and
turned to eat the rest of her quorn salad. It was gone.
“Ack!
Who took my salad?!” Sianne yelled.
“What?”
Wilber asked through a mouthful of millet, “Why would anyone have taken your
salad?”
“I
don’t know, but it’s gone!” Sianne looked around to see if she has misplaced
it, “It just disappeared!”
“Eat
up Geraldine! It’s good for you!” came a voice from nowhere.
“What!?”
Sianne said in utter confusion. “Where’d that voice come from?”
“I
think it came from upstairs!” Blaise said, putting down her empty kebab stick
and going to the door. “The thing is, the voice mentioned a “Geraldine”. I just
hope it isn’t-“
“KADABRA!!!”
Sarah yelled, pointing at the ceiling. Kadabra was sitting cross-legged on the
ceiling, defying all laws of physics using his psychic powers, trying to feed a
Lotad doll pieces of lettuce.
“Salutations,
mortals!” Kadabra said, not looking up from his doll, “Doth I be a Cretin I spy
yonder?”
“What
the heck?” Wilbur murmured. Hlin nodded in agreement.
“GIVE
ME BACK MY SALAD!!!” Sianne screamed as loudly as she could.
“Salad?
I know of no salad! I’m just a little teapot, short and stout, here’s my
cottage cheese, here’s my-“
“CHUUUUUUUU!!!”
Apparently, Sianne was bored of this conversation and decided she wanted her
salad back now. So she did what any self-respecting mentally unhinged Raichu
would do; she used Thunderbolt. Unfortunately, at that precise moment, Kadabra
teleported out of the room, leaving for a brief nanosecond, a plot hole in the
room. When Sianne’s electricity hit that tiny plot hole, something physically
impossible occurred; the lightning drew the first random person it came across
out of their dimension and into the Pokéworld. Now, as fate would have it, that
particular plot hole led directly into Middle Earth. The lightning came out of
a time and space portal, traveling at the speed of light, and tore around
Middle Earth looking for someone to take back with it into the Pokéworld.
Meanwhile,
just outside Isengard, Merry and Pippin were celebrating their recent victory
over Saruman with the Ents when Gandalf, Gimli and Legolas came riding out of
the forest. They had just begun talking
about Frodo, Sam and the Ring when suddenly the sky darkened over and clouds
completely obscured the sun. The sound of thunder could be heard and everyone
looked up at the sky. Then, Sianne’s bolt of lightning tore down from the murky
sky and hit Legolas straight in the chest, knocking him off his horse and onto
the floor. Of course, this was not Middle Earth lightning, or else Legolas
would have been Elf flambé in less than a second flat; but Pokémon lightning,
which only causes the victim to become a charred back colour and have their
hair stand on end. Just as his friends were getting over the shock of Legolas
being struck by lightning and surviving, he disappeared completely into the
inexplicable plot hole that led straight to the Pokéworld, into the living room
of a large house known as The Lair of Insanity, to be exact.
Sianne
opened her eyes and looked up to the ceiling to see if she has crisped Kadabra
enough. What she saw was totally unexpected, however; she saw an unconscious
person with impossibly blonde hair suspended in mid-air by a string of
electricity. The electricity faded and the person fell to the ground, and the
plot hole above him automatically sealed up. Hlin, Sarah, Wilber and Blaise saw
the person materialize into the living room and they ran over to his lifeless
body and began checking if he was all right.
The
person was like a human, save for his strange pointy ears. He wore green
clothes, had a quiver full of arrows on his back and when they rolled him over
to check his pulse, Sianne screamed.
“LEGSIE!!!”
she shrieked at the top of her lungs. All the other Pokémon stopped checking
for signs of life in the person and covered their ears, as Sianne’s screams had
a tendency to go above the normal amount of decibels a person or Pokémon was
used to.
“What?!”
Hlin said, after checking her sense of hearing was still working.
“Look!
It’s Legsie! I can’t BELIEVE this!” Sianne began running around in little
circles, apparently out of happiness.
“Legsie?
That’s Sianne’s word for Legolas though! Legolas as in Lord of the- Huh?” Sarah
was interrupted by a small cough from the person, who was still slightly
carbonized from Sianne’s Thunderbolt.
“What…?
Where am… ACK!!!” The person suddenly noticed he was sharing a room with a fish
with arms and legs, a dragon, a really fat bird, a rodent-thing with its head
on fire and an extremely delirious electric mouse that was still dancing around
in circles. And he was very afraid.
“I
can’t believe this! It IS Legolas!” Blaise said in total disbelief, “But that’s
impossible… he belongs in Middle Earth!”
“Who?
Where’s he from?” Wilber asked, utterly confused.
“Who…
what are you?” the person they had (save for Wilber) decided was Legolas,
asked.
“Oh
no. Exposition time.” Hlin said expressionlessly. “I’ll make this short. We’re
Pokémon, immensely fun creatures from an uber-fun computer game that possess
special powers. And are we right in assuming you are Legolas?”
Legolas
shook his head in disbelief, trying to take all of this in; “How do you know
who I am?”
“Duh.
We’ve seen the films at the cinema! Great films!” Sarah said, waving her arms
around for emphasis.
“And
the books; they’re great too!” Blaise added.
“They
made a book of it?!”
“LEGSIE!!!”
Sianne yelled again, making everyone jump, especially Legolas, who was still
coming to terms with the things that had just happened to him.
“Um…
maybe we could make you a cup of tea or something… Do you take sugar?” Blaise
asked, unsure of what to do.
“I’ll
just have some Lembas if that’s okay…” Legolas replied faintly.
“Some
WHAT?” Wilbur asked, still wondering how everyone knew this weird blonde guy
and sensed that he was being left out of something.
“Sorry
Legsie! You’re in the Pokéworld now and we don’t have Lembas!” Sianne said
happily.
“Oh…
just tea then.” and as an afterthought he added, “and why do you keep calling
me Legsie?”
Hlin
leant over to him and whispered into his pointy ear something that sounded like
“The Raichu is insane. Don’t try making sense out of anything she says; we gave
that up a long time ago. Just go along with it.”
“Riiight.”
There
was a long pause, with nobody knowing quite what to say. Until-
“LEGSIE!!!”
-once
again broke the silence.
“Will
you stop doing that? My name is Legolas!”
“How
exactly did you come here anyway?” Hlin asked, suddenly aware that nobody knew
how Legolas materialized into their living room.
“I
am not really sure.” Legolas said, trying to think about what happened by
Isengard. “There was just a bolt of lightening that hit me and I blacked out
and found myself here… I wonder how I will ever get back to Middle Earth?”
“I
think…” Hlin said slowly, “I think that when Sianne used Thunderbolt and
Kadabra used Teleport, the teleportation left a gap in time and space and
somehow the lighting managed to break the barrier between our two worlds and
dragged you here.”
“Do
you think I’ll ever be able to get back?” Legolas asked anxiously, wanting to
get back to Gimli and the others to fight the Orcs and such like.
“Maybe.
If we can convince Kadabra to do as we say, we may be able to get him to
Teleport you back to Middle Earth, but reasoning with Kadabra can be…
difficult.” Hlin said.
“Until
he comes back, can we watch a movie?!” Sarah asked, wanting to do something.
“Yeah,
but we’ll have to watch the one in Terra’s room, I think that was the only TV
in the house not wrecked by the Jenova-objects yesterday.” Blaise pointed out,
“And we’ll need to rent a video, I think all the ones we own were destroyed as
well. Ah well, we can order them off EBay again.”
“I’ll
go down to the video rental with Wilber and we’ll choose a video. Is that okay
with everyone?” Hlin said.
“Sure.”
Blaise agreed, leading Legolas upstairs, who really did not think that now was
the time for videos.
“Hmm…
which one to pick…” Hlin muttered, flicking through the rows and rows of videos
and DVDs. “Seen anything good, Wilber?”
“There’s
“The Matrix”, though I think we all saw that at Dannichu’s 14th
birthday… And “The Lion King” is here, but we’ve all seen that as well.”
“There’s
“O Brother, Where art thou?”, but I made you all watch it last year… they have
“Return of the King”, but everyone except you has seen that, and it will
probably make Legolas homesick… how about this one? It looks good!” Hlin said,
holding up the video.
“Hmm…”Pirates
of the
“Should
we rent it?”
“Yeah,
why not? Let’s get some popcorn and fizzy drinks as well!”
Sarah,
Blaise, Legolas and Sianne went upstairs to the fourth floor, past Daigree the
Sneasel’s room with slashes carved into the door and Luke’s, which had a “Come
in” sign on.
“Do
you think Kerri will want to come and watch it with us?” Blaise asked as they
stopped outside her door.
“Yeah,
Kerri likes movies. Shall I go and knock on Nwacha and Sparky’s door as well?”
asked Sarah.
“That’s
a good idea. Though Sparky can never stay awake through an entire movie…”
Blaise went and opened Kerrigan’s door. The Absol was sitting on her bed,
writing in a pink fluffy diary. “Kerri?”
“Oh,
hi Blaise. What is it?” Kerrigan said, closing the diary and setting it on her
desk.
“We
sent Hlin and Wilber to go and rent a movie, we don’t know what they’ve chosen,
but would you like to come and watch it with us?”
“Sure,
that sounds great!”
“Oh;
we have a new friend. Sianne and Kadabra managed to teleport Legolas from Lord
of the Rings into our living room about ten minutes ago and he’ll be watching
it too, I hope you don’t-“
Kerrigan
squealed and dashed out of the room as fast as her finely manicured legs would
carry her. She saw Legolas standing with Sianne, who looked very peeved as the
nutty Raichu was bouncing around, screaming “LEGSIE!” repeatedly. When Kerrigan
saw Legolas, she squealed again and ran over to him.
“Wow!
I can’t believe I’m really meeting THE Legolas! The way you are in Return of
the King, it’s just so cool, especially when you just slide down that
Oliphant’s trunk, and in The Two Towers when you swing right onto the horse,
and when you…”
“Kerri!
Stop drooling over Legolas and come upstairs; Hlin and Wilber are just coming
with the video!” Blaise said, leading Nwacha, Sianne, Legolas (who looked very
happy to be away from the scary dog with a blade coming out of its head that
seemed to be madly in love with him) and Sparky up to Terra’s room in the
attic. Kerrigan saw that Legolas was leaving and immediately followed him. They
reached Terra’s room, the only room in the attic, save for Dracoru’s, and
knocked.
“Come
in!” came Terra’s voice from behind the door.
They
all entered, Legolas was completely taken aback by the Flygon’s bedroom; it had
weights in one corner, a treadmill in an other, javelins, footballs and all
other kinds of sporting equipment. In the center of the room, next to the bed,
there was a television with a dance mat plugged in, and Terra was effortlessly
getting all “perfects” on Dance Stage Euromix. As soon as the song (Afronova)
finished, she turned her PS2 off and turned around to face them. “Hi!” she
said, before noticing Legolas, who was trying to hide behind Sarah. “Hi, who
are you?”
“Terra,
this is Legolas, from Lord of the Rings; Sianne managed to teleport him here
from Middle Earth.” Blaise explained again, giving Terra and Legolas a moment
to acknowledge each other. “Is it okay if we use your TV? The other one was
destroyed when we had the rampage of Jenova-objects rushing around.”
“Sure
you can use it! I was just about to go out and do my lunchtime dash around
Hoenn! Later!” She shouted and leaped out of the open window and flew at about
100MPH out of sight. A moment later, Hlin flew in the window, Wilbur holding
the video and riding on Hlin’s back.
“Hey
guys!” Wilber said, leaping off Hlin’s back and walking over to the VCR on his
stubby legs, “We got “Pirates of the
“I’ve
never heard of it, but I’m sure it will be great.” Sarah said, pulling a pile
of towels over in front of the TV to sit on.
Everyone
else made themselves comfortable. Legolas deliberately sat as far away from
Sianne as possible to avoid her shouting “LEGSIE!!!” the entire film. However,
the second he turned and breathed a sigh of relief of having gotten rid of the
crazy Raichu, he saw another Pokémon right in his face.
“Hi
sweetie!” Kerrigan smiled, “There’s plenty of room on this cushion for two!”
not wanting to annoy the Absol (he took another glance at the shining back
blade on Kerrigan’s head – though he doubted she had ever used it for anything
but to tie bows on, he didn’t want to take his chances), he went and sat on the
cushion with her. Sparky snuggled into the bed and fell asleep almost
immediately. Blaise and Wilber sat on the bed as well; Hlin and Nwacha just sat
on the floor while Sianne dashed downstairs during the opening adverts and
brought up the beanbag from upstairs and sat it next to Sarah, who had broken
out the popcorn.
“This
is a great film!” Blaise said, about halfway through, through a mouthful of ice
cream.
“Yeah,
it’s ten times better than I expected!” Nwacha agreed.
“I
didn’t think it would be this good either!” Hlin admitted, pleased that
everyone liked the film.
”Hey, Legolas; I’ve just noticed… Will looks a lot like you!” Sarah said
suddenly.
“Yeah,
he does!” Blaise said, “I knew Will reminded me of someone!”
Kerrigan
looked from the screen to Legolas a couple of times. “No way – Legolas is so
much cuter!”
Legolas
kept himself from saying anything by keeping his eyes on Kerri’s blade… always
on the blade…
The
rest of the film passed with no incident, save for Sparky waking up and
becoming completely terrified of the skeletons, but everyone was disappointed
when the film ended.
“That
was so good! I want to watch it again!” Sarah announced.
“Yeah!
It was great!!!” Sianne agreed, taking the beanbag downstairs.
“What
should we do now?” Blaise asked, rewinding the video and putting it back in its
case. “I reckon we should go look for Kadabra. You wanna go home anytime soon
Legolas?”
Legolas
was inching way from Kerrigan, who was trying to hold his hand. Aside from not
wanting to be adored by a dog with a huge blade on its head, Kerrigan’s claws
were very vicious looking, even though they were covered in nail varnish.
“Yes!” He said instantly.
”Aw, no, Legsie can’t go yet!” said Sianne, coming through the door from
downstairs.
“He
can’t go! He likes me too much! Right, Legolas?” Kerrigan said happily.
Legolas
nodded feebly, once again looking at Kerrigan’s blade.
“Well,
unless he wants to spend the night on the sofa, we’d still better find Kadabra
and make him Teleport Legolas back to Middle Earth.” Blaise said, who had taken
Legolas’ “subliminal messages” that he wanted to get home. “If you were a
totally mental Kadabra, where would you go to?”
“Well,
Sianne’s the closest we have to an insane Kadabra. Will an insane Raichu do?”
Sarah said, watching Sianne’s reaction.
“Pie.”
Sianne said, shooting a spark of electricity at Sarah, who was completely
unaffected, being a Ground type. “Okay… I’d go to… Totodile’s sweet shop!”
The
Pokémon were used to Sianne’s weird “sixth sense” which she had acquired since
having her brain messed up when Dannichu tried to stop her evolving, and began
making their way to Totodile’s shop. Legolas assumed that what they were doing
was relevant to his getting home, so he just followed, all the while trying to
keep away from Kerrigan.
“Urgh…
I wish Terra and Dracoru were here…” Sarah said wistfully.
“Why?”
Wilber asked, waddling along on his little legs.
“My
feet hurt! I want to have a ride straight to the shop!” Sarah moaned, “The only
Pokémon that could fly are you, and you can’t carry your own body weight and
Hlin who could never carry all of us!”
“Oh,
some on Sarah! Walking’s not all that bad!” Blaise said, walking along happily
while talking to Hlin, “Why don’t you race Sianne or something?”
“She
always beats me…” Sarah moaned again, but ran ahead to catch up with Sianne,
who was using her tail as a skipping rope. They watched as Sarah accidentally
trod on Sianne’s tail, which immediately caused the Raichu to unleash a massive
Thunder attack, mercifully Sarah was immune to the attack; they both ran out of
the crater caused by the electricity and Sianne dashed after Sarah into the
distance.
“Those
two…” Blaise shook her head.
Half
an hour they had all arrived outside Totodile’s shop, Hlin was carrying Wilber
who was on the point of passing out through all the energy he had used walking
so far.
“Never…
again…” he wheezed, before closing his eyes and falling asleep.
“Okay,
let’s see if Sianne’s prediction was true!” Sparky said, opening the door of
the shop.
The
door opened to reveal Totodile at the counter of his shop trying to count the
money, but not getting any further than “three”. There was a Lotad doll sitting
on a pile of aniseed balls and a Kadabra in a corner eating wine gums by
shoveling the little sweets into his mouth using his spoon.
“See?!
My built-in insanity detector never fails!” Sianne said proudly.
“Um...
can I help?” Totodile said, looking up from his coins, oblivious to the fact there
was a Kadabra in the shop eating all his goods.
“Why
yes!” Sarah said instantly, dashing over to the counter, “I’d like some
“Sarah!”
Blaise said, “We’re here to get Kadabra, not sweets!”
“Awww…”
“Kadabra?”
Hlin asked, walking over to the nutty Pokémon.
“Yeeeeees?”
he replied twisting his head around, but not his body, looking extremely
freaky.
“Um,
can you do us a favor?”
“Maybe,
maybe not! Maybe, maybe not!” Kadabra suddenly shouted in a very high-pitched
voice, waving his hands to and fro in the air.
“Well,
it’s very important. We need you to teleport Legolas here back into Middle
Earth for us. Is that okay?”
“Give
me time… I must discuss this with my manager!” Kadabra grabbed his Lotad doll
and huddled into a corner, making whispering sounds. Five minutes later he
stood up.
“My
associate and I have decided to comply with your needs -- we WILL invade
“WHAT?!”
they all shouted.
“We
want you to teleport Legolas home, not invade
“Pies?
Pies are weak. They are the cancer of the planet and we… we are the cure.”
Kadabra continued, still oblivious to all the other Pokémon, who were nearly in
tears.
“Kadabra;
PLEASE!” Blaise and Hlin begged at the same time.
“If
that is what you wish.” Kadabra said, impersonating Entei from Pokémon 3,
but looking sincere about it. Or as sincere as you can be if you are a mentally
deranged Kadabra.
Legolas
was not sure whether to be happy or sad about this. On one hand, he would be
going home, back to Gimli, Gandalf and the others. On the other hand, it would
mean trusting himself to a cracked Kadabra who could teleport him ANYWHERE in
the known or unknown universe. Weighing out his chances, he glanced across at
Sianne, who was bouncing around repeating the word “Legsie” to the tune of “The
12 days of Christmas” and Kerrigan, who was still trying to hold his hand.
“Great!”
he said. “When can I leave?”
“Now
is good.” Hlin said, turning to Kadabra. “You Teleport him ANYWHERE but Middle
Earth and you get barbequed. Okay?”
Kadabra
scratched his head with his spoon “Oui.”
“You
speak French?” Wilber asked in surprise.
“Ja!”
“And
German?”
“No,
not really. I merely guessed those two random words and one just so happened
to be the French word for “yes” and the other the German. No DUH!” Kadabra
said.
There
was stunned silence for about ten minutes. Even Sianne fell completely silent
and gaped at Kadabra.
“What?”
Kadabra said, irritated.
“That…
is the first thing we have ever heard you say that made ANY sense!” Hlin
said, still in complete shock.
“You-
MY BRAIN!!! MY BRAIN!!!” Kadabra screamed, running around the shop (Totodile
was still at the counter, trying to count his money), clutching his head, which
made it hurt even more as he was stabbing his spoon into the back of his
cranium. “SANITY OVERLOAD!!!”
Legolas
was watching the whole scene in disbelief, personally thinking that we wouldn’t
leave this mad Pokémon in charge of his Lembas, much less his life.
“Kadabra...
are you all right?” asked Sparky timidly; afraid of what Kadabra might do next.
“Why yeeeeeees, I am. Mr. Cunningham,
something wooooonderful has happened. A-no. A-no. Yeeeeeees. A-no. Yeeeeeeees.
Right awaaaaay. Goodbyeeee.”
“What’s
wrong with him? I thought for a brief, fleeting second he had actually gone
halfway sane.” Nwacha said with a sigh.
“I
don’t think that’s physically possible. I think there’s something built into
his brain that blocks all sanity from him.” Hlin said, “That’s why he never
listens to anything we say and never speaks a word of normality.” Hlin paused a
moment and realized what she had just said. “Wow!”
Sarah
took in all of this whilst watching Kadabra begin to march back and forth in
front of Legolas, who had tuned whiter than a sheet (A/N: okay, he was already
whiter than a sheet. Legsie needs to get a tan), “That would explain much.”
“TEN-HUT!”
Kadabra yelled, saluting and stamping one foot, making everyone jump.
“Okay,
so Legolas, are you ready to go? All you need is to let Kadabra Teleport you.”
Hlin said, turning to Legolas.
“Um…
what if he Teleports me somewhere else?” Legolas said, scared of the answer.
“Don’t
worry; if he does that, we’ll kill him.” Sarah replied cheerfully.
Legolas
looked more worried about that would happen to him if Kadabra decided to
Teleport into Teletubby land rather than what would happen to Kadabra, but
decided to remain silent.
“Okay
Kadabra? Just Teleport Legolas into Middle Earth and then you Teleport yourself
back again-“
“-Or
do us a huge favor and don’t bother coming back-“ Nwacha muttered.
“-And
we’ll get you a HUGE supply of wine gums! Sound good?” Hlin said, praying her
bribe would work.
Kadabra
walked over to Legolas and poked him in the head with his spoon. “Just
remember,” he said, “There is no spoon.”
“Oh
no!” Sianne yelled, dragging herself away from the Nutri-Grain bars on the
counter and noticing Legolas was about to leave, “You can’t go, Legsie!”
“Why?”
Blaise asked
“Because
I need to carry on calling him ‘Legsie’ until he either destroys me or mentally
destroys himself from trying to restrain himself from destroying me!” she said
in a “duh” tone.
Everyone
looked at each other, trying to make sense of Sianne’s sentence but then turned
back to Legolas.
“Good…
GOODBYE!!!” wailed Kerrigan, breaking down into floods of tears and hugging
Legolas, who was trying to inch away from her a politely as possible “Will I
ever see you again?!”
“Come
on Kerri. You can see him on video anytime you want, but Legolas needs to go
home now.” Hlin said, attempting to pull the Absol off of Legolas, but then
signaling to the others to help. It took Sarah, Hlin, Blaise, Nwacha, Sparky
and Wilber to yank her off. Sianne watched the whole thing whilst chewing on a
blueberry Nutri-Grain.
“Okay
Kadabra. Remember. Middle Earth. Got it?” Blaise said sternly
“Yesserie!”
Kadabra said happily.
“You
okay Legolas? There’s nothing to scared of.” Wilber said.
Legolas’
expression said clearly that there was plenty to be scared of, but nobody
really noticed.
“You
ready to Teleport, Kadabra?” asked Sparky.
Kadabra
did a sheep impression. Everyone assumed that meant yes.
Suddenly
there was a flash of light and both Legolas and Kadabra disappeared in a flash
of white light.
“Well
they’ve gone somewhere. All we can do is hope.” Said Sarah blankly, staring at
where Kadabra and Legolas used to stand.
“LEGOLAS!
Where are you?!” Pippin yelled, on Treebeard’s back, looking all over Isengard
for the Elf.
“It’s
useless Pip.” Merry said, turning to his friend, “I think he’s gone for good.
He’s been gone for over 12 hours now, and he just disappeared. Poor Legolas…”
There
was a sudden flash of light and an Elf and a Pokémon materialized right by
them. Pippin screamed and fell let go of Treebeard and began falling to the
ground. The Ent caught him and sat him back on his back.
“Legolas!”
Merry shouted, leaping off Treebeard and running over to the Elf. Pippin
followed and then called Aragon, Gandalf and Gimli over, “Look! Look! He just
came back!”
Legolas
blinked a couple of times and then looked up to see his friends standing over
him.
“Legolas!”
Gimli shouted and picked him up off the floor “Where on earth did you go?”
“I…
I really don’t want to talk about it.” Legolas murmured, still registering that
he was back home.
“Long
live limburger!” Kadabra yelled, realizing that nobody was giving him any
attention.
“ARGHH!”
Merry and Pippin both yelled.
“Stop!”
“What
is it Legolas!? There is an Orc here!”
“It’s
not an Orc! He helped me get home!” Legolas decided not to tell them that it
was also Kadabra’s fault that he was teleported away in the first place.
“But
why-“ Gimli began
“Fare
de-well noble citizens!” Kadabra shouted and teleported back to The Lair of
Insanity where everyone was waiting anxiously for his return.
Kadabra
appeared in the Lair of Insanity’s living room, where Hlin, Kerrigan, Sianne
and Sarah were all sitting in suspense of whether or not he had teleported
Legolas to the right place.
“Greetings.”
He said, holding forward his spoon.
“Did
you do it? You took him to Middle Earth, right?” Hlin asked urgently.
“Indeed,
indeed. And I am forever in your debt.”
“I
think that means yes… you have to listen really closely.” Sarah said, leaning
closer to Kadabra.
“NEITHER
A BORROWER, NOR A LENDER, BE!!!” Kadabra yelled, making Sarah reel backwards,
protecting her sense of hearing.
Hlin
sighed. She looked around the room, and Kadabra was reciting Shakespeare, Sarah
was panting heavily and moaning “My ear…” repeatedly, Kerrigan was sitting on the
sofa, sobbing into a magazine with a picture of Legolas in, and Sianne was
swinging from the light fixture. She sighed again. Ah, the normality.
--End
of part 2--