A/N: I apologize SO MUCH for the delay in posting this chapter. The reason for it was that I wrote chapter 4 when I was feeling depressed and the whole chapter came out full of angst and pain and stuff and I really didn’t like it so I decided to just scrap it and start chapter 4 again. And I’ve been reading a load of Tolkien, Orwell and Douglas Adams (Lord of the Rings, Animal Farm and The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide are the best books ever! Read them!) over Easter, so blame them for the delay also. Blame the addictiveness of Pokémon Channel too. Blame your computer. Blame that tree over there. Blame anyone. Just not me.


This was a challenge from Sarah the Swinub, but not a phrase-full one like my other challenges. This one is fuuuuun. I have to cram into one chapter as many movie clichés as I can. I don’t have a clue how many I’ll manage, but I’ll leave you with the fun of spotting them all! Have fun ^^



Dedication: Sarah the Swinub, for the challenge, and Emerald Milotic, Miaka, Miki, Itzu and Charmander and Pichu for their reviews! I really appreciate it guys!


Disclaimer: I don’t own Pokémon, or any of the (many, many) movies I’ve stolen scenes, characters, situations, lines, etc from.

I wonder what would happen if the companies from every single movie I’ve stolen from in this fic tried to sue me… I doubt even Bill Gates could survive that.



--- Movie Rip-off Time! ---


Sarah the Marshtomp was sleeping peacefully in her bed. She was having a nice dream, one about her fantasy world, “toothpaste land”. She smiled in her sleep, seeing all the cheeses run free in the purple afternoon air. Then suddenly she was woken up by a buzzing noise coming from the other end of her room. Assuming it was Sianne, she just mumbled “go away Sianne” as grumpily as she could, though she did see the sunlight seeping through the curtains so she guessed it was probably time to get up anyway. The buzzing continued so Sarah opened her eyes slowly and rolled over in bed to see if there was anyone in her room. The door was closed and the only source of light other than the faint glimmer coming through her curtains was that emanating from her computer’s screen.

Wait a sec; her computer screen? She never left her computer on overnight. She stepped sleepily out of bed and walked over to the computer. On closer inspection she found that it was indeed the computer that was making the noise. She was about to pull the power cord when a message came on screen.


“I am awake.” Sarah said, irritated.


“What rabbit?” said Sarah, looking around to see if a rabbit had entered her bedroom and had turned on her computer.


“Matrix? Oh, that was the coolest movie! I loved it!” Sarah said happily, “I like the Oracle best! And all the Agent Smiths! Yeah, that scene in Matrix Reloaded with the millions of Agent Smiths… and then later on with the Key Maker. I liked the Key Maker. I didn’t see why he had to die, though. The ghost twin thingies were really cool and stuff, how they could turn into ghosts any time they wanted to; oh, and then there was-”


“Yeah?” Sarah said, turning from her ramble to the computer screen again.


“Fine! If that’s your attitude!” Sarah said angrily and pulled the power cord on her computer. The message vanished from the screen. “Good,” she said, dropping the cord to the floor. “Now for some breakfast.” And with that she made her way downstairs.


            “Oh no.” said Blaise from the kitchen.

“What is it?” asked Wilber, pecking at his morning bowl of millet and crushed iodine block.

“We’re out of milk.” Blaise replied, pushing aside the out-of-date opened cans of stuff and moldy blocks of cheese around the back of the fridge to check that there wasn’t any that she hadn’t seen. “Nope. No milk at all.”

“I guess we’d better go and get some then, before everyone else gets up and wants something to put on their cornflakes.” Wilber said, finishing his seed and taking his bowl out to the kitchen. 

“Yeah.” Blaise agreed. “If we go now we can get the bus into Lilycove and get some there.”

“That’s a good idea.” Wilber nodded.

“Okay, just let me grab some bread…” Blaise took a pitta from the bread bin on the sideboard. “Okay, let’s go.”

Blaise and Wilber strolled down to the bus stop, chatting happily and Blaise was holding the pitta just above her forehead, toasting it. The reached the bus stop and waited for about three minutes before the bus arrived. They climbed aboard and Wilber paid the driver, a Kecleon, 200 Poké-Yen-Whatevers and took two seats near the front. Blaise began eating her pitta while Wilber took the window seat and stared out of the glass. He watched the fields and trees of Fortree change into the buildings and shops of Lilycove (metaphorically). They were nearing their destination when suddenly there was a loud “click” sound from nowhere. After a look from the Kecleon driver, a Skarmory sitting by Blaise stood up and began opening the overhead lockers. Then the Skarmory screamed.

“Aaarrrgghhh!” she yelled, reeling backwards and flying to avoid falling over, “There’s a bomb on the bus!”

“What?” another passenger, a Breloom, shouted, standing up and looking at the parcel shelf in horror. All the other passengers were staring at each other in fear, their faces white.

“Let me see.” said an Electrode from the back of the bus, rolling forward to take a closer look, “I’m an expert at bombs.”

The Pokémon on the bus waited with baited breath as the Electrode inspected the bomb. The Kecleon was about to pull over into a lay-bye when suddenly the Electrode shouted. “No! If this bus’ speed goes under 50 kilometers an hour; it’ll explode!”

Pandemonium ensued. Everyone got out of their seats and began running around like lunatics. There was a Cleffa sitting with her older sister, a Clefable and she burst into tears, scared of everyone’s yelling. Blaise turned to look at Wilber, her face pale. Wilber looked around at everyone screaming and shouting and then fluttered to the front of the bus to talk to the driver, who was trying to drive along a small road at 50KPH and prevent having a nervous breakdown at the same time.

“Keep driving!” Wilber said urgently.

“I don’t plan on stopping!” the Kecleon yelled back through gritted teeth and whilst sweatdropping like crazy, having to overtake all the slower vehicles on the road, which was a road where you weren’t supposed to overtake people.

“AAARRRGGHHH!” Blaise screamed, running up and down the aisle and screaming her head off.

“Blaise!” Wilber shouted, trying to get her attention.

“AAAAAAARRRRRGHHHHHH!” Blaise continued to scream.

“BLAISE!” Wilber yelled.

“WHAT?” Blaise yelled back, stopping running but yelling at the same volume as she had been screaming.

“What do you think we should do?”

“CONTINUE SCREAMING! AAAAAAARRRRRGHHHHHH!” Blaise then began running up and down again, holding her head and screaming as loudly as she could.

“Blaise?” Wilber said as calmly as he could under the circumstances.

“YES?” Blaise shouted.

“THAT DOESN’T HELP!” screamed Wilber, leaping in the air and flapping his stubby wings to keep himself airborne.


“AAARRRGGHHH!” came a scream from behind them.

“What?” Blaise and Wilber both said, spinning around to see a pale-faced Furret pointing out of the windscreen.


Wilber and Blaise both turned their heads fearfully ahead where they saw a huge blue and white dragon-like creature flying across the road. They were about to collide with it. It turned its head and then opened its eyes wide. It saw a huge bus coming towards it at about 55 kmph and it showed no signs of stopping or even slowing down. Then, suddenly, the bus and the dragon-creature began shining with a bright purple light. Blaise, Wilber and everyone else on the bus closed their eyes and braced for the hit…


            “Wilber! Wilber!”

“Murgh?” Wilber mumbled incoherently.

“Wake up Wilber!” Blaise’s voice sounded anxious.

“Huh… Waitasec!” Wilber shouted suddenly, sitting bolt upright, “This isn’t Kansas!”

“Kansas? What on earth are you talking about?” Blaise looked at Wilber, wondering if he had hit his head harder than she thought after Latios had made their bus levitate in order to miss him and then made the bomb vaporize harmlessly. Wilber had been standing in the aisle so he fell forwards and hit his head on a seat and blacked out for a bit. Everyone was all right though, most sitting around waiting for a friend or relative to come and pick them up, some looking over to see if the Pudgy Pidgey was alright.

“But the Good Witch of the East got me back to Kansas!” Wilber insisted.

“It was just a dream, Wilber.” Blaise said calmly.

“But it was so real! And you were there!” he said deliriously, pointing to Blaise, “and you were there!” he pointed to the Kecleon driver, “and even you bunch of insignificant Pokémon who are only in the story for the sake of being on the bus for the “The Bus That Couldn’t Slow Down” rip-off, you were there too!”

 The random Pokémon looked insulted.


            Loanlee sat down at the table noiselessly. She put down her Thick Club, picked up her spoon and began eating her cereal. She was just taking a mouthful of cornflakes when suddenly she bit down on something hard. It really hurt her teeth and she could feel her eyes welling up with tears because of the pain. She glanced up and saw Hypello talking animatedly to Hlin. She couldn’t let them see her crying so she dropped her spoon, grabbed her Club and ran upstairs into her room. The moment she got into her room, she shut the door and locked it. Then she sat on her bed and howled. She cried loudly for about ten minutes, screaming about the unfairness of it all and how all her teeth were probably going to fall out and then her mouth would get infected and she would die and so on. Then she spat out the hard thing, which was still in her mouth. She carefully lifted off her skull helmet and opened her mouth wide, still hiccoughing because she had cried so much. She felt around her mouth to see if she had chipped any of her teeth. After running her hand around the inside of her mouth twice, she decided that she hadn’t. She carefully put her helmet back on and then walked over to the thing she had hurt her mouth on.

It was a ring. Stupid, evil free gift from the stupid, evil cereal company. She picked it up carefully and examined it. Looking it over, she could see no markings on it, not even dents from where she had bitten it. Loanlee then put it on her helmet so on one horn she had the ragged pink ribbon she always wore, and on the other side she had the ring. She unlocked the door, picked her Club off the bed and wandered downstairs again.

“Where’d you get the ring, Loanlee?” Hypello asked on her arrival back in the dining room.

Loanlee shrugged and sat down to her unfinished bowl of cornflakes. She pushed them around the side of the bowl with her spoon. They had gone all soggy. Life sucked. Loanlee stood up again and went over to the drain to throw away her mushy breakfast. On her way, she accidentally stood on the tip of Hlin’s tail. She suddenly felt as if her foot was on fire and, looking down, she saw that it was. She leaped about three meters into the air, waving her arms about. Unfortunately, one of her arms was holding her Thick Club and she managed to hit Hlin over the head with it. Hlin, while having much more self-control than Sianne (who would use Thunderbolt because a fly landed on her nose), couldn’t help but use Flamethrower. The pain coursing through her head was unbearable and Hlin’s short-tempered natural Charizard instinct kicked in, so she opened her mouth and unleashed the biggest Flamethrower she could. The fiery attack hit Loanlee, who was still screaming because of the pain in her foot, with full force. While her outer skull protected her from the majority of the fire, her shoulders and arms were scalded. Loanlee then began running around the dining room, screeching at the top of her lungs.

“Sarah! Sarah!” Hypello yelled, seeing the pain Loanlee was in, before making a snowball to serve as an icepack to put on Hlin’s bruise. Sarah appeared at the door and saw Loanlee tearing around the room, screaming.

“Loanlee! What on earth is the matter?” Sarah shouted, getting no response from Loanlee but more screams.

“She accidentally made Hlin use Flamethrower on her!” Hypello said quickly, “use a light Water Gun!”

“Right!” Sarah said before drawing back her head and then firing a light jet of water over the frenzied Marowak.

Loanlee felt her skin cool immediately. She then began feeling the pain of the water hitting her skin and jumped out of the way of Sarah’s attack. She grabbed her Thick Club and ran back up to her room, still crying.

“Sheesh... talk about over-sensitive… Hlin, are you okay?”

“I’ll be alright” Hlin said though a swollen jaw and examining her head in Kerrigan’s mirror that was left by the table, “I’ve got bruises on my jaw and upper cranium. No danger of a concussion or long-term injures. It’ll hurt for a couple of days though.”

“That’s good to know.” Sarah sighed.

“Hey! What’s that on the floor?” Hypello said, pointing his snout in the direction of something sparkly lying on the floor about three feet from Hlin. Sarah went over to pick it up.

“It’s a ring!” she exclaimed.

“That would be Loanlee’s. She was wearing it on her skull when she came down. I guess it must have fallen off.” Hypello said.

“What do these mean?” Sarah asked, holding the ring up.

“These?” Hypello strained his eyes to see. Even though he had been blessed with eyes, something one in a million Swinub had, he was still a little shortsighted.

“These markings.” Sarah said, looking at the ring carefully, “they’re really pretty. I think it might be some kind of language!”

“Let me see,” Hlin continued holding Hypello’s icepack on her head but walked over to Sarah. She peered down at the ring in Sarah’s hands. “Very interesting.” she said slowly, “it is a language.”

“What kind?” Hypello asked, intrigued.

“I can’t remember, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen these kind of markings anywhere. I could try and translate it for you though.”

“That would be great!” Sarah and Hypello choused.

“Okay… I think it’s like this… ‘One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.’”

“What do you think that means?” asked Hypello.

“I have no idea.” Hlin replied truthfully.

“I’ll just chuck it out. It’s just one of those cereal thingies that change color when you warm it.” said Sarah, taking the ring over to the bin, “I want some cornflakes.”


            Sianne was, as usual, the last to get up. It was not so much out of laziness (though that did play a part) but because she was so hyperactive during the day that at night her body had to rest because Sianne’s Raichu body just physically couldn’t take 24 hours of leaping around insanely.

She fell out of bed at about 11AM and stumbled into the bathroom. She had a quick shower and then leaped out, hyper as ever. She ran downstairs and was about to go into the kitchen and through to the dining room when she noticed a note on the doormat.

“Ooohhh! Post!” she squealed and bounced over to it. She picked it up and looked at it. On it was written just seven words, written in some kind of blood-red ink. Or was it really blood?

“Hmm… ‘I know what you did last summer’…” Sianne read the note carefully. Then her face paled and she began sweating. “Oh no!” she yelled, “Someone must have seen me raid that Nutri-Grain truck! Oh dear pie! It was an accident! The Vertical Pies made me do it!” She leant closer to the note, trying to see any sign of who it was from. Then she suddenly realized what the note was actually written in “Oh dear pie!” she screamed again, “I’ve been wanting a cherry-scented gel-pen for ages! I wonder where they got it?” with that she put the note in the bin and proceeded to wreak havoc on the Pokémon eating breakfast.


            Luke was sitting in the living room, engrossed in his book, “Tortilla Flats” (a darn good book) when suddenly the doorbell rang. Seeing as he was in the room closest to the front door, he put his Espeon bookmark to save his page and went to answer the door.

He opened the door and saw two elderly-looking people, a man and a woman, and also a younger woman.

“Um, can I help?” Luke asked the younger woman.

“She can’t talk. She is a mute.” The elderly lady explained, “Ever since the realized we were dead, she hasn’t said a word. We were wondering if we could work in this house. The times I spent here were the best in my life…”

“I really think you’ve got the wrong house,” said Luke, far too polite to point them in the direction of the Mauville mental hospital, “This house was built about three months ago, after Sianne completely destroyed it, so we had to re-build it. Well, Dracoru rebuilt it, at least. Anyway, are you sure you’ve got the right place?”  Luke looked up and saw that the three people had vanished. “Huh? Where’d they go?” He rubbed his eye and looked around. There was nobody. Puzzled, he shut the door, retuned to his chair in the living room and continued reading.


            “I’ll be back soon!” Kerrigan yelled to no one in particular. She shut the front door behind her and made her way into the Fortree market, up by the thickest trees. She loved market day; there were so many pretty things for sale and it was all so cheap, too! She climbed the ladder up one of the tallest trees and walked along the creaky bridges that enabled people to get from one tree to another. Creaky as they were, Kerrigan had lived by Fortree all her life and had complete faith in them. After a little more walking the treetops, Kerrigan found the place where the markets were held on Thursdays, in the biggest oak trees in the whole of Fortree where people from miles around flocked to buy the amazing things for sale there. Kerrigan looked around at the stalls. Some of them were ones that sold food; she looked hungrily at the chocolate-selling stall as she remembered she was on a diet and then saw another food stall. The human behind the counter showed her his large display of fresh meat. Kerrigan wrinkled her nose in disgust. Just because she was a Dark type didn’t mean she sunk as low as eating animal flesh! That was something that only humans and the most unscrupulous of Pokémon did.

Kerrigan hurried past the stalls selling dolls and plants, the ones selling trainers items and Pokéballs, and then she came to her favorite part of the market; the beauty stalls. Each stall had on display amazing clothes and jewelry. Kerrigan’s eyes glittered almost as much as the little diamonds in the rings and necklaces on display. She looked around for something that would suit her perfectly. She glanced around and saw a stall she was unfamiliar with, which was odd since Kerrigan came to the market every Thursday. She looked at the things laid out on the table. There were pairs of golden earrings, amazing jewels, golden goblets, bronze statues and many other amazing things besides. But one thing caught Kerrigan’s eye; an old medallion on a chain. It looked rather old, but it was amazing and made of solid gold.

“Excuse me,” Kerrigan said to the human behind the counter. He was old and looked very bedraggled, his face hidden by a large hat but Kerrigan didn’t notice; most of the time she was too taken up with how she looked to bother looking at anyone else, “How much is this?”

“The medallion?” he questioned, leaning forwards. Kerrigan failed to notice that he had just one eye because she was gazing intently at the medallion, “Arg… about 2,000 yen, methinks.”

“Only 2,000?” Kerrigan repeated, amazed at how cheap it was, “I’ll take it!” so she happily handed over the money to the strange man, took the medallion and put it around her neck. She looked closer at it and saw that it had a skull and crossbones impressed on it, but she didn’t really mind that it was creepy. She strutted proudly around the rest of the market, stopping only to buy some yogurt-covered raisins. After eating them, she began making her way home. She climbed carefully down the ladder, something very hard to do with four legs, especially ones as thin as an Absol’s, and walked across the fields and back to The Lair of Insanity. On her way, she felt like someone was following her. She stopped and turned around, but saw nobody there. After walking for another three or four minutes, she noticed that there was someone behind her; she could see their shadow. It was a human, she decided, or a human-shaped Pokémon. She suddenly stopped and whirled around, her dark blade gleaming. She saw a male human standing there, and he jumped when he saw Kerrigan growling at him.

“What do you want?” she demanded.

“’Scuse me miss… but I was wonderin’ if you could hand me over that medallion there.” He said in the same accent as the human who had sold her the medallion in the first place.

“No!” Kerrigan said, outraged, “It’s mine!”

“It belongs,” said the human, getting angry, “to the Black Pearl!”

“The black what? Oh, go away. Go get your own necklace.”

“You are not leaving,” he said, “until you give me that medallion!”

A couple of Slash attacks later, the human lay sprawled on the ground with red marks over his face.

“Humph.” Kerrigan remarked before trotting back home.


            “How do you type so fast?”
”Sianne, please, I’m trying to write, here!”

“But it’s so fun! I want a computer! You have one! Sarah has one! Dracoru has one! Why can’t I?” Sianne moaned.
”We’ll get you one later,” Hlin promised, exasperated, “please, Sianne, just leave me in peace! I don’t want to be mean, but I really don’t like people reading what I’m writing over my shoulder!”

“What does this do?” Sianne asked, pointing at the “Reset” button.

“Don’t touch it!” Hlin yelled, grabbing Sianne’s paw in order to stop her pressing it, “I haven’t saved!”

“Then what does this do?” she pointed at the “Esc” key on the keyboard.

“It’s the ‘escape’ key. Don’t touch that either!”

“What about this?”
”That’s ‘Caps Lock’.”

“And this?”

“That’s ‘F1’.”

“And this?”

“That’s ‘F2’.”

“And this?”
”That’s ‘F3’, infidel!”

“Ooohh… what about THAT one?” Sianne said eagerly, pointing at a red button just below the monitor.

“I’m… not really sure what that does.” Hlin admitted.

“Let’s find out!” Sianne said happily, pushing it.

“NO!” Hlin yelled, too late.

There was a slight rumble before the CD drive on the computer disappeared and in its place there was a large hole.

“You idiot! Look at what you’ve done!” Hlin moaned, mourning the injury to her beloved computer.

“Ooo… look!”

“What now?” Hlin groaned.

“A Pokéball!” Sianne pointed eagerly.

“A Pokéball?” Hlin looked and saw a whole stream of Pokéballs come pouring out of the hole in her computer. “ACK!”

“Hey, cool!” Sianne yelled happily, “That must have connected to Dannichu’s storage system and sent over all her Pokémon!”

“All?” repeated Hlin faintly, before realizing what Sianne was about to do, “NO! SIANNE!”

“Wheee!” Sianne sang happily, throwing all the Pokéballs in the air, causing all the Pokémon in them to burst forth.

“SIANNE!” Hlin screamed

“What?” Sianne asked, looking at all the Pokémon materialize in front of their eyes. “Hey! Souriee!” Sianne then ran over to the Pikachu that has just materialized, “How’re you doing?”

“Sianne!” said the hyper Pikachu happily

“Wheee!” sang Sianne again, throwing all the Pokéballs in the air.

“Sianne! Stop it!” Hlin yelled.

“Why?” Sianne asked, throwing two Repeatballs into the air, making them hit the light fixture before falling to the ground and releasing Aries, Dannichu’s Ampharos and Hekla the Camerupt.

“You can’t let all of them out!” Hlin shouted, her face white.

“Why?” Sianne said, barely paying attention and juggling with about eight Pokéballs, every time she dropped one it would burst open and discharge another Pokémon.

“Because the house isn’t big enough!”

“But it’s so fun!” Sianne shouted with glee, throwing all ten Pokéballs she was holding in the air, letting loose ten, mercifully relatively small, Pokémon.

“You’ve got to stop it! Now!” Hlin had to scream at the top of her voice in order to be heard over the talking of all the Pokémon now in the room.

“Wheee!” either Sianne didn’t hear or didn’t care, probably a mixture of both, because she just grabbed as many Pokéballs as she could, signaled to Souriee to do the same and they ran out into the front garden.
”No!” Hlin cried, but it was too late. The Pikachu and Raichu threw every Pokéball, Lureball, Ultraball and Nestball they were holding and set free about thirty Pokémon in the front garden. It was a miracle they were outside because some of the Pokémon released were huge.

“Oh pie…” Hlin wailed. Riptide the Gyrados, Connie the Sceptile, Dust the Rhydon, Kiwi the Meganium, Pacific the Lapras… this was getting way out of hand. 

Sianne turned her head and motioned to Souriee to run back into the house, leaving a load of Pokéballs and confused Pokémon in the garden for Hlin to deal with. Souriee was hyper and delighted to be back and to cause trouble with his best friend. They ran back into Hlin’s room, which was extremely crowded with all the Pokémon they had released earlier, though most of them were making themselves at home and wandering into the other rooms. A scream from upstairs confirmed that Adrian the Banette had found Sparky’s room.

Finding this game just too fun to stop, Sianne and Souriee grabbed yet more Pokéballs and chucked them across the room, releasing all the Pokémon inside.

“Sianne! Souriee! Stop this now!” Hlin panted, trying to get into her room through the door but finding it hard to get past all the Mudkip in the doorway. “I never knew Dannichu had all this Mudkip.”

“Chloe! Ollie! Marcus! Jake! Mary!” came Sarah’s voice from behind Hlin; “I haven’t seen you in ages!”

“What?” Hlin asked in confusion,

“My cousins! All bred from Alex’s Swampert and Azumarill! There are eighteen of them, if I remember correctly!” Sarah said delightedly.

“This can’t be happening.” Hlin moaned.

“Wow! Sleet!” Sarah exclaimed happily, seeing the Walrein materialize in Hlin’s bedroom.

Hlin decided now was a good time to get Terra and Dracoru; Dracoru had at least some control over Sianne.

“Yay!” Sianne shouted in jubilation, “Dannichu’s Wingull collection!”

“You mean all of them?” asked Sarah

“Yup!” Sianne said, releasing all twenty Wingull at once.

“Why does she need so many?” Souriee wondered

“Ever since she saw that guy with all the Wingull in his house, Dannichu was determined to outdo him and went around catching as many Wingull as she could.” Sarah explained, “She has a whole box of them.” (A/N: It’s true!)

All the Wingull flew up and landed in a neat row on Hlin’s curtain rail.

“Mine,” said one.

“Mine mine,” agreed another.

“Mine! Mine!” shouted a third.

Pretty soon all twenty Wingull were shouting “Mine!” as loudly as they could.

“I can’t take much more of this…” Hlin moaned, grabbing all the Pokéballs on the floor and recalling all the Wingull.


            Kerrigan was walking happily home from the market, pleased with her new medallion. But as she drew nearer to the house, she noticed all the Pokémon on the lawn. Then she yelled.

“Aaaahhh!” came Kerrigan’s scream from outside.

“What now?” Hlin groaned, running outside clutching all the Wingull‘s Pokéballs.  “What is it, Kerri?” she asked once she was outside.

“Look!” Kerrigan pointed to the outside of the house. Hlin’s face paled. Stramsted, Dannichu’s Vigoroth, was climbing the house from the outside.

“Get down!” Hlin yelled. Stramsted ignored her and continued climbing. He was about four floors up, by Nwacha and Sparky’s room and was gaining speed. “You could fall!” she tried again, but with no effect.

“What should we do?” Kerrigan asked in panic.

“I’ll fly up and see if I can make him climb down.” Hlin put all the Wingull Pokéballs carefully on the floor and flew over to where Stramsted was climbing.

“Get down! You could fall!” Hlin yelled.

Stramsted tried to swat her away with his claws, but Hlin pre-empted his attack and dodged.

“Get down now, idiot!”

Vigoroth at the best of times have short tempers, and Stramsted was no exception. Letting go of the wall he was climbing he leaped at Hlin, his claws fully extended. Hlin ducked and watched with horror as the Vigoroth flew over her head and toward the ground. Mercifully, Sianne ran out of the house at that moment and saw Stramsted hurtling toward the ground. Letting go of her insanity for a brief moment, she decided to be clever and threw Stramsted’s Ultraball at him. He disappeared into the ball in a flash of green colored light and the ball fell harmlessly to the ground. Hlin picked it up and glared at Sianne.

“Recall all of them now.”

“Do I have to?”

“If you want to continue breathing.”

“You’re not one to make death threats Hlin!” said Sarah, coming out of the house, talking to her Mudkip cousins.

“I’m not. I’m saying what Dannichu would say, were she here.”

Sianne opened her mouth to argue, before realizing Hlin was right. She grudgingly picked up all the Pokéballs littering the floor and recalled all the Pokémon on the lawn, sending them back to Zizzo’s laboratory, where they were all looked after.


            “Whatever you want, whatever you need, you know you can always count on me…” hummed Nwacha in the huge upstairs bath. Nwacha enjoyed either humming or quietly singing in the bath or shower, he found it very relaxing. Nobody complained at all, it was infinitely preferable to Sianne screaming “BORN TO BE A WINNER!” every morning in the shower.

“Never too far from home…” Nwacha hummed, rubbing soap on his back. He opened his eyes and then saw a shadow beneath the bubbles flash past him. Nwacha looked carefully under the layer of bubbles but couldn’t see anything. He continued washing himself but then saw the shadow again. There was definitely something there. Nwacha brushed aside all the bubbles from the bit of water that he was trying to look at and squinted to try and see anything. Seeing nothing, Nwacha scratched his head, trying to think of what might have caused the shadow. Suddenly, Nwacha felt something breathing on his back. Then he heard a slight growl. He slowly turned around in the bath and was greeted by a huge set of jaws. Jaws belonging to Thames, Dannichu’s Sharpedo.


Nwacha leaped out of the bath as fast as was physically possible, seeing Thames Crunch where he would have been.

Someone had let Dannichu’s Pokémon out of their Pokéballs.

Oh, Sianne was sooooo dead…


Hlin sighed and wiped her brow, before clicking the “send” button on her computer’s Pokémon Transportation System, sending the last of the Pokémon back to the lab. This was just great. She had just found out that the second bathroom and Luke’s room had been completely destroyed by Sianne sending out Connor the Wailord in the bathroom on the third floor, causing the huge Float Pokémon to crash right through the bathroom floor and almost crush Luke.

“Whoever invented “easy transportation” should be shot at dawn”. Hlin said to nobody in particular. “Lanette, do not be surprised to be the victim of a contact killer next week”.

Hlin turned and saw Sparky and Sarah by the door, staring at her.

“What? When I’m stressed, I get deaththreatful.”

Sarah looked at Sparky and raised an eyebrow.


“Shut up.”

Hlin was glaring at Sarah, Sarah was staring back and Sparky was desperately trying not to laugh. Hlin was so funny when she got mad.

Hlin and Sarah’s glaring contest was interrupted by the phone ringing.

“I’ll get it,” Sparky said, running over to the videophone pushed the button. “Hello, Lair of Insanity, can I help?”

“Hi!” Sarah the Swinub’s face flickered into view on the screen, Dannichu behind her, making disturbing faces behind Sarah the Swinub’s head. They could just make out Emerald Milotic dragging Dannichu away from the phone. All three Pokémon and Sarah the Swinub sweatdropped. “Erm… hi.”

“Nobody’s found out about the party have they?” asked Hlin

“Nope, in fact we’re phoning to see if you’re free tonight.” Sarah said, “See, we get the evening off and we were wondering if you’d like to come and see a film with us.”

“Oooh, what film?” Sparky asked happily.

“Sparky, the last time we took you to the cinema you managed to fall asleep into your ice cream and then nearly drowned in the stuff when it melted!” Sarah the Swinub laughed, making Hlin and Sarah the Marshtomp laugh as well.

“That was not funny!” huffed the Pikachu indignantly, “My nose nearly froze off!”

“So can you come?” Sarah asked.

“Dunno… what films are on?” asked Hlin

“They’re showing all the ‘classic’ films... The Matrix”, Sarah checked them off on her stubby semi-human, semi-Swinub fingers, “Speed, The Wizard of Oz… um, Lord of the Rings, I Know What You Did Last Summer, um… The Others, Pirates of the Caribbean… Finding Nemo, King Kong and… Jaws! Plenty to choose from!”

“Wow, it sounds great! We’ll all be there! Well… maybe not Loanlee or Daigree… but everyone else should be!” Sarah (the Marshtomp) said happily.

As Sarah the Marshtomp spoke, Hlin got the strange feeling that those titles seemed strangely relevant to the day, but she shook off the feeling and went off to inform the others of the trip.


--End of part four--