Dragonitemare presents
Pokemon Crystal series
Ep. 15
 
DIRTY DEEDS
 
Finally.... we seem to have a threesome that seems that it 
will stick together for the time being. None of this 
switching and leaving and oblong duo bullshit. Anyway... we 
pick up the new and improved Team Twerp chatting on another 
videophone... this time, with a certain mentally deficient, 
hospitalized little boy. 
 
"Hey Crystal... how are things going so far? Hey Pikachu!" 
shouts Ash, "How've you been buddy?", turning the still 
immature boy's attention to the cute little animal. 
"Pikachu... Pi-Pikachu!", replies the excited little mouse 
before Crystal takes over the phone. "We're doing okay and 
Pikachu is really excited to see you again I see!", notes 
Crystal as Ash responds that they've been together ever 
since Ash's first day as a pokemon trainer. He also says 
hello to Misty saying, "Things have been weird without 
seeing you everyday", in an attempt to get to bone her when 
she finally returns. 
 
Ash also notes that he sees Justin there too so he asks him 
how they ended up together. Rather than spend the next 18 
hours explaining to the dumb little cripple, Justin just 
tells him, "It's a long story!", and produces an anime 
sweatdrop. Ash then says his progress is still moving along 
with his treatment though he still won't be able to walk 
for a long time. At that point, we see a lust driven 
Meganium lose its patience waiting for its bitch to get off 
the phone and it starts to hump the poor immobile kid. 
 
"Hahaha Meganium.... cut that out!", laughs Ash. 
?????............. oh well, make of that what you will. 
Anyway... Ash gets lost in the perverseness of Meganium and 
tells Crystal, "Haha.... Good luck... and take care of 
Pikachu for me!" The video screen then disconnects so 
Meganium can have its way some more with the bedridden Ash. 
 
Well........ I don't feel too bad for the crippled little 
boy, he brought it on himself. 
 
"Well... I'm glad to see that Ash is recovering", notes 
Crystal. Misty tries to be smart with her and says with a 
snot-nosed voice, "I guess that really relieves you knowing 
that he's ok!" Crystal is less than thrilled that she's 
pegging her as Ash's wish granter so she strikes back at 
the smart-ass girl saying, "Speak for yourself!" 
 
They then get into another of their lovers quarrel over 
their stud in shining armor, Ash. But then.... Justin 
brings out the pimp in himself stepping in between and 
saying, "Okay... let's break it up! We should be heading 
for the Magnet Train so we can get to Saffron City." The 
two girls agree and shout for joy. Misty also notes that 
there is a gym in Saffron City and that once they get off, 
Crystal can challenge the leader. 
 
Crystal then shouts, "So what are we waiting for.... let's 
head for the Magnet Train!", as Sandshrew pops it's head in 
to shout, "Shrew shrew!" 
 
 
<cue intro> 
 
 
"The train ride will be a blast!", notes Misty. Crystal 
adds, "It'll be my key to finally beginning the Kanto 
League!" "And that way.. you two won't even care about 
which of you will end up being Ash's girlfriend!", adds 
Justin giggling. Needless to say, he made a huge mistake 
which enrages Crystal and Misty. The screen shows a bunch 
of stars as we find the two girls cleaning their hands 
after laying the smack down on Justin.
 
"You know, that's true!", snorts Crystal. "That's right!", 
adds Misty, "We won't bring up any more love comments about 
Ash.... right Justin?" We turn to see Justin's faced 
bruised and pushed in slightly on either side as he replies 
half-consciously, "Ay-aye!" And they say there can't be 
violence on children's shows.
 
Misty points out (thanks to Togepi's brain control 
selecting the things Misty should see) that the Magnet 
Train ticket booth in straight ahead. Togepi is excited of 
course cuz now it finally has a vehicle it can use to ride 
across country to spread its hypnotic, "Togepi is your 
ruler!" message to as many people as possible.  
 
So the trio approaches the ticket booth when Justin asks, 
"Uhhhh... Do any of you have money to spot me?" The two 
girls groan and Misty comments that, "Hey..... I don't have 
any money, either!" Justin and Misty begin to panic and 
turn towards Crystal when she reveals the horrifying truth 
that she doesn't have any money either. The two of 
them are in shock as is Pikachu who shouts, "Pika!" Togepi 
pretends to be confused uttering a cute little, "Toge?", 
hiding the anger it has inside of its freaky egg noting 
that it won't have a chance some more brainwashing, yet.
 
"Don't you have anything from your job?", asks Justin. 
Crystal replies with an annoyed tone, "Justin.... the work 
I did there was volunteer work. You don't make money when 
you volunteer." Nor do you make any 
money while you're in rehab or community service. So 
Crystal utters the horrifying truth to the rest of them who 
are used to freeloading, "Well... it looks like we're going 
to have to find a way to work to get enough money for the 
tickets." 
 
So the three of them walk the streets of Goldenrod City 
like a bunch of winos. He he he.... they're playing 
homeless people today. I just find that to be so damn 
funny. Misty comments to the others, "I wonder exactly how 
we're going to make money for the train ride!" A mysterious 
voice then says, "Hey... you kids need some dough?" 
 
The kids turn to look at the seedy man and tell him that 
they could use some money so that they can board the Magnet 
Train. The guy then tells him.... I think I have a way that 
I can help. He then opens this big garage door which 
reveals a bunch of Grimers in this enormous room... almost 
like a maze. Misty notes that there must be hundreds of 
Grimers in there. 
 
The seedy guy names himself Pasquale (Okay.... now he's 
officially seedy, right?) and says that he owns all of 
these Grimers by himself. He goes on to explain that since 
he's all alone, he can't take care of all of them all the 
time. So he asks for the kid's help to clean the Grimers 
and he'll then pay him after they've worked long enough. 
"Do it Crystal!", encourages Justin to provide some peer 
pressure from his viewpoint. Crystal then awwww's at the 
sad story and tells Pasquale that she and her friends will 
help clean his Grimer.
 
They then go to work as Justin covers his nose and 
comments, "How can he deal with this smell?", as AC/DC's 
TNT plays in the background. "I guess with all these 
lonesome and abandoned Grimer left all over the city, I 
guess he's doing a charitable thing by taking in and caring 
for all these Grimer. I think it's great!", rationalizes 
Crystal as Misty agrees.
 
As they "clean" the Grimer or doing whatever bullshit chore 
they have to do to get some money, we notice another money-
hungry trio wandering around Goldenrod City. Who else but 
Team Rocket? "I'm getting hungrier by the minute!", moans 
James. "And I'm gettin hungrier by da second!", adds 
Meowth. 
 
"Save your hunger pains for when we have some money!", 
snaps Jessie in warning. She adds, "We have to find a way 
to get some money for food!", as Team Rocket has also 
turned into a bunch of homeless hungry bums. 
..........Actually, they've always been homeless and 
hungry. That is when the same seedy individual who offered 
cash for labor on his Grimer offers TR some money if they 
just help clean his Grimer. 
 
Jessie and James look suspicious and don't look too eager 
to actually work. They don't have to because Meowth 
volunteers for them saying, "We'll take da job!" Pasquale 
snickers as he tells them to come right in and get started. 
They all go in with the other group of characters nowhere 
in sight. Pasquale then snickers and schemes with what 
looks like his favorite Grimer saying, "Two groups of 
suckers in one day... we'll be really rich and they'll be 
in jail for a long time! Ahahahahahaha!" "Grimerrrrr!", 
shouts the evil Grimer in joy. 
 
Jessie and James argue at Meowth and ask why he accepted 
the job. Meowth schemefully answers, "Because... not only 
can we make a quick buck watching all dese Grimer.... but 
once we get paid, we can swipe some of dese Grimer." Team 
Rocket cackles and Jessie adds, "And with the size of this 
place... there will be no way anyone can tell that 
some of them are gone!" "And all we have to do is do a 
little bit of meaningless work for a little while! You can 
be bright sometimes after all, Meowth!"
 
We then go through scenes where Crystal, Misty, Justin, and 
even Pikachu and Sandshrew are taking care of the Grimers. 
A few hours later... we find that the group is exhausted 
and decide that they've worked long enough. Oh if only they 
were exposed to the real world of labor, underpayment, and 
overworked poor folk.... they'd keep working if they'd want 
to feel REALLY productive.
 
They notice that the Grimer smell even more than they did 
when they first met them. Justin notices, "They now smell 
100 times more like Grimers!", in an ironic tone you'd hear 
in a satirization of a commercial. "I guess Grimer get 
healthier as they get smellier", reasons Crystal. "Come 
on.... let's just go find Pasquale so we can get our train 
money!", says Misty as Togep roars, "Toge-prii" in 
agreement for reasons previously discussed.
 
They go to the front end of the building to talk to 
Pasquale. But they find that he's totally vamoosed. Misty 
is asking to the rest what they should do. Justin suggests 
that maybe he just stepped out for a moment and that they 
should wait. Crystal suggests that maybe he's back inside 
and that they missed him. She then suggests that Justin 
wait at the front for Pasquale and that Misty and her will 
go into the garage to look for him in there.
 
So Justin plays the girls sex toy and waits at the front 
while Misty, Crystal, and the overexposed pokemon go into 
the garage to search for Pasquale. They look around for him 
for one whole minute in the enormous garage but they don't 
find him. Misty comments that, "He seems to have 
vanished... we might need a detective to find 
him........... huh?" And that detective that they are 
looking for turns out to be Psyduck.
 
Psyduck makes its grand appearance as it throws out its 
feathery wings quacking, "Psyduck." "What are you doing out 
of your pokeball?", asks Misty as it picks up the horrible 
smell through the nostrils we can't see on his face. 
Psyduck begins to run towards the nearest wall to try and 
escape the horrific smell. The girls and the pokemon chase 
after Psyduck to see where it goes. Misty eventually grabs 
Psyduck at the wall saying, "This is hardly the time to go 
on a wild duck hunt!"
 
But then they hear some cackling noises coming from a small 
crack in the wall next to them. They look puzzled at each 
other as they both peer through the crack to see Pasquale 
and his Grimer partner. "Hey... there he is... that must be 
his apartment!", notes Crystal. 
 
They're about to try to talk to him until he laughs with 
his plan unknowingly unveiling them to the girls. "Heh heh 
heh heh! This fraudulent kidnapping scheme has worked 
perfectly. We get pathetic suckers to shine up the Grimers 
to make them nice and good-looking. Then they get portrayed 
as the kidnappers of our Grimers. Ha ha ha.... 
Then we get back the blue ribbon Grimer and sell them for a 
lot of cash. Heh... this is become soooo easy.... and we 
don't have to waste any money on labor!"
 
They continue to cackle like the devils that they are 
while, needless to say, Crystal and especially Misty are 
pissed. "I don't believe it! That sleezeball is going to 
set us up!", states Crystal. And Misty adds furiously, "I 
say we have to find a way to bring this scumsucker down! 
Let's find Officer Jenny." Pikachu snaps, "Pikachu!", in 
agreement as they think they should search through a city 
of people just to find one certain police officer.
 
They dash off to escape the smelly garage unaware of what's 
around the corner. 
 
 
<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon?? 
 It's Hoothoot............ "Hoot-hoooooooot!" 
 
 
We now notice TR going around listlessly cleaning all of 
the Grimer. Meowth then asks, "Are we done, yet?" Jessie 
snaps back in reply, "We're waiting for you to finish 
Grimer stealing plan." Wobbuffet then makes its first 
patiently pleased appearance of the episode coming in from 
behind announcing, "Wobbuffet!" "Your interruptions stink 
just as bad as these Grimer!", gasps Jessie. 
 
"Well Meowth", says James, "If you're ready with your plan, 
let's go see that guy and get our food money." James then 
enters gay mode fantasizing, "Oooooooooh! My tummy will 
finally be filled with yummies!" Jessie then proclaims, 
"Then let's cash in!", as a background full of money, 
dollar signs, and yen signs capped off with a cha-ching! 
 
They go strutting up towards the front desk but they back 
off when they see what they see out there. "Aaaaaaah!", 
they all shriek quietly as they notice Justin just waiting 
up in the front like a scumbag not paying attention in 
class. Of course he also has no idea of what is really 
going on. But back to TR.... James points, "It's him..... 
that big twerp! What's he doing here?" "But I don't see dat 
Italian meatball anywhere!", interrupts Meowth.
 
Jessie warns softly, "One more outburst like that out of 
you and I'll hurt your meatballs!" OH.... PLEASE GETCHA 
MIND OUTTA DA GUTTA! "Wobbuffet!", blurts out Wobbuffet as 
Jessie sofly blurts out, "I'm thinking about turning you 
into meatballs right now." Wobbuffet gives one more patient 
"Wobb" before TR backs off from Justin as Wobbuffet follows 
them. 
 
Justin hears some noises despite his grogginess so he turns 
around to look. However, he does not see anyone causing a 
disruption so he assumes, "Hmmph... guess those Grimer need 
some discipline, too! Too  bad I'm not a cop!" Team Rocket 
dashes away to get out of the sight of Justin but 
unfortunately they aren't looking in front of themselves. 
 
Misty, Crystal, and the pokemon are also dashing to try and 
escape to tell Officer Jenny what they heard so she can do 
nothing about it. They run around the corner 
and.......................................... 
 
WHAM! ...... right into Team Rocket! 
 
"Ugh!", moans Crystal, "That was not such a good trip!", 
and we all know she's been trippin before. The twerps then 
notice Team Rocket so Misty yells, "Hey! What are you doing 
here?!" TR then looks up wearily and then notice the twerps 
and begin to panic (except for Wobbuffet who is above 
panicking).
 
"We're just trying to make a quick buck!", says Jessie 
timidly. Misty doesn't believe her being all prejudiced 
while Jessie is all evil. "We're just tryin ta feed 
ourselves.... and you twoips are in da way!" Crystal then 
attempts to break the news to them saying, "I hate to give 
you the awful truth but you're probably walking away with 
nothing!" 
 
But Jessie cuts her off angrily shouting at her, "You mock 
our working skills?.... Prepare for trouble!"
 
"We need to pay our bills so make it double", adds James.
Before they can start the motto.... Wobbuffet just feels 
like blurting out another pleased sounding Wobbuffet. 
Jessie then clubs it with a sledgehammer she got seemingly 
out of her pocket yelling, "It's not your turn 
yet!!!!!!!!!!" They then resume the motto.
 
"Ahem! To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all peoples within our nation"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love"
"To extend our reach to the stars above"
"Jessie"
"James"
"Ha!.... Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!"
"Surrender now or prepare for a mudfight!"
 
"Meowth, that's right!", chimes Meowth as Wobbuffet gives 
one more, "Wobbuh!", as we notice it fallen over still 
dazed from being hammered. 
 
"As I was saying...", continues Cris-tal, "The guy we're 
all working for is a scam artist. He's going to make us 
clean up the Grimer and then when it's time for us to get 
paid, he'll vamoose leaving us with all these Grimer and 
then the police will come and arrest us for kidnapping HIS 
Grimer." James and Meowth gasp at this stunning news. 
 
Jessie though is less impressed with her statement yelling, 
"Why should we believe you?" "You don't have to.... just 
listen through the wall right there", states Crystal as she 
points to the soft spot in the wall. TR looks puzzled but 
they begin to go over there to test Crystal's explanation. 
But she will interrupt them again before they can make it. 
 
"Hey.... I thought you guys only did illegal stuff to get 
money", notes Crystal. TR sweats and stutters until Jessie 
comments, "Well.... we were planning on stealing some of 
these Grimer." Misty then gives another useless lesson 
saying, "Well fortunately that won't be able to happen." 
Meowth yells back, "We'll see about dat!", as they go to 
peer through the crack in the wall.
 
They notice that Pasquale is still laughing with his 
personal Grimer about the plan and then he tells it that 
it's time to go. They then pack up and try to head the hell 
out of there. TR is steamed by this revelation. "How dare 
that twerp! He should know that you never double-cross 
villains that are more evil than him.", steams Jessie. 
"Especially when he double-crosses hungry villains!", adds 
James. 
 
"Well we'd bettah hunt down dat guy or our stomachs may be 
poimanently empty.", notes Meowth. James then 
Eeeeeeeeeeee's in horror ........ ?????? Ay.... gayer by 
the second.... that's all I have to say about him. "Hurry 
guys... we have to get to Officer Jenny before she gets to 
us", states Crystal as Pikachu yells in agreement, 
"Pikachu!" Sandshrew also yells, "Shrew!" in agreement 
probably translating into, "That bastard cost me a free 
sandwich!"
 
So they run after the guy in pursuit as Psyduck follows in 
pursuit holding its head all the way. Team Rocket gets the 
same idea as Jessie says, "Come on... let's teach that guy 
a lesson!", but then they hear a very loud, piercing, 
"WOOBBUUHH!" Jessie turns around annoyed at Wobbufet as 
does the rest of TR to look and see what is going on. 
 
To their horror they see that the poor patient Wobbuffet is 
being smothered and raped by a dozen or so Grimer. "Hey... 
you can't have your way with that... that's my Wobbuffet!", 
yells Jessie. "Never taught I'd hear her claim possession 
of dat blue blob", notes Meowth as he begins to notice that 
the Grimer are starting to curl up on him. They all start 
to scream and twinge as many, many Grimer start to pile on 
TR.
 
The future progeny of the gay-raping Muk totally cover poor 
Team Rocket as outside a perverted dodger tries to put on 
Marvin Gaye to get the Grimer in the right mood. But I, 
Dragonitemare, smash the radio so nothing of that sort 
happens. Because..... face it!........ doing that is just 
simply..... wrong!
 
Well it is....... I'm sorry that I can't explain it any 
further but the thought Marvin Gaye music during a Grimer 
raping is just wrong! 
 
The horrified girls look back to see TR get abused as they 
continue to search for the scam ar-teeest. "They never have 
any luck, do they?", asks Crystal towards Misty. "Nope..... 
not really!", replies Misty as Togepi roars in laughter at 
all the atrophy while TR desperately tries to escape the 
vicious onslaught of horny Grimers. They then go out 
towards the left of the exit in the opposite direction of 
the front area where Justin is waiting and is about to be 
confronted by Officer  Jenny arriving from the other 
direction. 
 
"I hope this guy comes back soon!", notes Justin as he sees 
a corrupt Officer Jenny pull up on her bike. "Okay... don't 
make a move you kidnapper!", yells Officer Jenny who does 
no questioning or investigation and just assumes that the 
guy looking over the Grimer are the kidnappers. 
"Kidnapper?!", yells Justin in obvious shock.
 
"That's right!", replies the totally incompetent Jenny. She 
explains that she received a call from the owner saying 
that his Grimer was about to be kidnapped by two groups of 
sleazy individuals. One with a Pikachu and a Sandshrew and 
the other with a Meowth that could talk. She explains 
further that they forced entrance into his Grimer garage 
and tried to steal the poor, innocent man's Grimer.
 
She goes on to lecture that he and his friends should be 
ashamed of themselves and blah blah blah. Justin retorts in 
stunned fashion, "But my friends and I wouldn't do that. We 
would never try to steal another individual's pokemon!" 
"Tell that to the judge!", shouts back retard Jenny who too 
lazy to investigate this happening even though Pasquale has 
done it to other innocent victim who must be in jail. "He's 
gonna throw you and your fugitive partners in jail for a 
long time!" 
 
Justin shouts back in rage, "But I'm innocent damn you!" 
Jenny retorts that she just doesn't believe him. He then 
notices Jenny's Growlithe along side her and gets an idea. 
He asks her if that's her Growlithe and she says it is. So 
Justin tries to convince Growlithe to try and convince the 
brain dead lazy cop. 
 
He sends out Hoothoot for its intelligence to try and tell 
Growlithe that they would never steal another person's 
pokemon. He asks Hoothoot if it would ever take advantage 
of another person's pokemon and Hoothoot shakes its head 
no. He then tells Hoothoot that maybe it could convince 
Growlithe that he and his friends are not criminals. So 
they talk in their international pokemon languages to 
communicate with each other. Hoothoot beckoning 
"Hoothoooooot" and Growlithe replying "Grooooooowlithe!" 
 
Growlithe then tries to convince its lazy and corrupt 
master that Justin is not affiliated with any mafioso. 
Jenny then listens to Growlithe as Justin pleads with her, 
"Please.... you have to trust me here Officer Jenny! I was 
just trying to help the man's take care of his Grimer!" 
Officer Jenny ponders in thought and then replies, "Hmmm... 
you know..... every one that has been arrested for 
kidnapping Pasquale's Grimer has had that same alibi!", as 
if she just maybe is catching onto something as Growlithe 
continues to bark at her. 
 
We then see Pasquale and his messy Grimer buddy walking 
along the streets of Goldenrod City away from the scene of 
their crime. He tries to hail a taxi cab but he ends up 
waiting for a couple of minutes. He then talks to his 
Grimer growling, "I wonder why it’s so hard to hail a cab 
in this city!" "Probably because they all know you're a 
scam artist!", yells a girls voice.
 
The girl obviously turns out to be Crystal who sounds tired 
from smoking too much weed. Pasquale then replies nervously 
that he just went out shopping and he'd return shortly. But 
Crystal tells him to save his crap saying that they knows 
all about his dirty scheme as a pissed off Pikachu shouts 
"Pikachu!!" in agreement.
 
Misty then yells at him about how he's using innocent 
people and pokemon just for his sole advantage. "How low 
can you possibly go?!!", she disciplines him. But Pasquale 
tells them that they are going to end up being the 
criminals once the corrupt Officer Jenny arrives to save 
him from in his words, "you kidnappers!"
 
"Well we're going to make sure you don't get away from us 
you con!", states a determined Cris-tal angry that she 
didn't get any money for the train and for....... 
uh.......... other illegal substances. ...........uh, 
right? But Pasquale isn't backing down either and
claims that they won't last against him and he sends out 
his Grimer to battle and then Crystal sends out Sandshrew. 
 
Misty shouts at the guy that now he's going down. But 
Pasquale says not so fast and orders Grimer to use poison 
gas. But Sandshrew makes it miss after using a sand-attack 
as Crystal then tells it to use a body slam which sends 
Grimer reeling. Pasquale tells Grimer to get itself 
together and attack with sludge and the sludge actually 
hits Sandshrew sending it stumbling.
 
Pasquale snorts that Sandshrew is knocked down like a 
bull's eye. Crystal tries to tell Sandshrew recoup itself. 
Something Crystal is used to hearing after taking a few 
hits no doubt. Misty tells Crystal that she'll battle 
Grimer and starts to call out one of her pokemon but 
Psyduck jumps in front of Misty instead.
 
"Psyduck?", says a puzzled Misty, "I really have to battle, 
I don't have time for any head games." Psyduck just walks 
forward towards Grimer giving out a patient, "Psyyyyy-
duck!" "Hah!", sneers Pasquale, "We'll take care of this 
feather brain, too! Grimer, pound attack!" 
 
Grimer proceed to use its sludge filled arms to slap 
Psyduck's head around while Psyduck can just utter an 
indifferent, "Psyyy." "This... does not look good", utters 
Crystal as she watches Grimer slap around Psyduck as 
Sandshrew then utters, "Shrew", in agreement. "On the 
contrary, Crystal", counters Misty, "Things are looking 
better every second!" Crystal asks what she means and Misty 
tells her about Psyduck's psychic powers when it gets 
severe headaches. 
 
Pasquale doesn't know about Psyduck's powers so it yells at 
Grimer to keep pounding away at Psyduck. It continues to 
slap Psyduck silly and then when Grimer takes a break to 
catch its breath, Psyduck holds its head in pain. Then 
Psyduck looks up as its eyes have turned blue meaning its 
ready to kick some slimy Grimer ass.
 
Misty is more than ready to oblige as it tells Psyduck to 
use disable which freezes Grimer holding it up in the air 
to the shock of Pasquale. Then Misty has Psyduck finish it 
off with confusion as the confused quack sends Grimer and 
Pasquale flying like Superman as they hit a Goldenrod City 
light post head first which should've cracked Pasquale 
skull but apparently, he isn't bleeding to death although 
he is knocked out.
 
On their way to bringing him back to the garage, Crystal 
and Misty are lecturing him all the way with Pikachu, 
Sandshrew (who Togepi is riding on), and Psyduck following 
them. "When the truth comes out... you're going to be 
sorry!", yells Crystal who looks like she badly needs to hit 
up a joint. Pasquale is just being dragged along the ground 
as if he were a lifeless corpse.
 
The girls continue to blabber at him dragging him along the 
way until they return to the garage where Justin and 
Officer Jenny are. "Officer Jenny.... thank goodness!", 
sighs Pasquale, "These kids tried to kidnap my Grimer and 
hold them for ransom. They then assaulted me and tried to 
force the ransom out of me." He then pleads to the lazy, 
easily swayed so-called officer of the law that he's gone 
through so much strain trying to raise all of these Grimer 
only to have crooks like our protagonists try to steal 
them. 
 
Officer Jenny hmmm's in disapproval as Pasquale demands 
that she arrest these three. The trio gasps as Misty 
blurts, "Ughhh!", in shock. But before Officer Jenny can 
arrest them, something miraculous happens. Her heart, which 
was two sizes too small suddenly grew.... it grew very 
large.
 
Oh wait..... that was the Grinch......... my bad! 
 
Officer Jenny, who is normally a hard-ass and isn't swayed 
by crooks, turns to Pasquale and tells him sternly, "I'm 
afraid that isn't going to happen today, Pasquale." He asks 
why not and Jenny tells him that their story about trying 
to reach Saffron City via the Magnet Train and that their 
story checks out. My Growlithe also told me that these 
kids are not trying to steal the Grimer like you say they 
are. 
 
"You see... ", starts Justin who sounds like a salesperson, 
"Officer Jenny obviously didn't listen to me... so I had 
Hoothoot tell Growlithe that we aren't here to steal 
anything", as he pets his Hoothoot. He adds staring with a 
wry smile on his face, "Since Officer Jenny trusts her 
Growlithe's instincts, she knows that it's telling her that 
we're not crooks..... which means it knows that you ARE a 
crook!", as he points directly at Pasquale.
 
Pasquale yells that it can't be true and starts to stutter 
in shock before yelling, "You can't possibly believe that 
mutt over me.... Aaaah-ahhh-ahh." Jenny though says that 
she trusts her Growlithe's senses and it is her conclusion 
that the trio is innocent and that Pasquale is lying. "What 
are you saying?", gasps Pasquale as Officer Jenny replies 
with great energy, "You're under arrest for fraud!!!"
 
But Pasquale doesn't take this news easily and begins to 
take off to try and escape telling Grimer to run for it. 
The lazy Jenny begins to run after him to try and make 
everyone believe that she's a decent hard worker which she 
isn't. Crystal saves her from public scorn. 
 
After Officer Jenny tells the crooks to halt, Crystal tells 
Officer Jenny not to worry. She tells Pikachu to use its 
thunderbolt to stop them and Pikachu is happy to listen to 
its much smarter and much better looking new master as the 
thunderbolt fries Pasquale and Grimer. She then tells 
Sandshrew, "Shake 'em up with an earthquake attack."  
 
..... Dodgy meanings aside, Sandshrew makes the ground 
rumble as the attack sends Pasquale and Grimer up into the 
air before they crash down with a heap of rubble on their 
backs which should give them several 
broken bones just like Ash. But Pasquale must take a lot of 
calcium supplements they are able to make him walk all the 
way up into the paddywagon.
 
Officer Jenny assures the trio that Pasquale is going to go 
directly to jail. This despite the fact that Pasquale won't 
even get a trial or his rights read to him. Oh no dodgers, 
the big mean crook is going right to jail. Officer Jenny 
adds that all of his victims of his prior scams that were 
innocently jailed will be freed. That is that there will be 
no retrial and no examination of evidence.... they just 
going to be set free just like that.
 
She then asks the trio why they were asking for help from 
strangers. Crystal explains that they desperately needed to 
find a way to get some money instead of trying to freeload 
like Ash always does. But Officer Jenny extends the olive 
branch to Crystal into the world of freeloading pokemon 
trainers by saying that she'll let them climb aboard the 
next Magnet Train on her after the trouble they went 
through. Team Toyboy then thanks her for her corrupt 
assistance.
 
Yep.... that's a brief look into the day of Officer Jenny. 
Being lazy at her job not conducting investigations into 
why so many people are trying to steal a pokemon that 
stinks (literally). Then the woman arrests people and sends 
them to jail without a trial or a fair hearing while on the 
other hand, freeing other incarcerated people without a 
hearing or investigation to see if they've done anything 
else illegal. Now try and tell me that she isn't 
corrupt.... she favors some people and gives them free 
comps like train tickets while being merciless to others 
like TR whom if she saw them she'd probably go out of her 
way to make their lives miserable. 
 
Hmmmmph! To protect and serve?..... Hah.......... Ain't dat 
bullsh*t!  
 
While the other officers are clearing out the Grimer to 
take them to Grimer foster homes (or they might dump them 
in the sewer to pollute the water as any Republican would 
do.... I don't know), we notice TR (whom certainly aren't 
Republican) hiding out on the roof trying to escape any 
more violation from the Grimer. "That could have become 
very messy!", quips James. Jessie adds the wonderfully 
dodgy quote, "And I don't need to get any dirtier!"
 
Heh heh. 
 
After Wobbuffet utters another, "Wooooobbuffet!", one of 
the corrupt cops asks who's up there. "Yikes, it's da 
coppas!", panics Meowth. "They're here to save us innocent 
victims...", utters Jessie. "... from us evil criminals!", 
yelps James. They all yell that its time to get away as 
they get on their balloon which magically appears on the 
roof as they all fly away. 
 
Officer Jenny (who gets to be in charge of the Grimer 
transportation operation being that she's the most corrupt) 
asks one of her co-workers who's up there. But the lazy 
male officer replies that it's just a balloon flying 
overhead. Of course he fails to mention that it's TR's 
happy buddha-faced Meowth balloon which any Officer Jenny 
should've identified by now.
 
Crystal, Togepi-bound Misty, Justin, Pikachu, and Sandshrew 
all wave good-bye to the corrupt Goldenrod City police as 
the Magnet Train begins to depart. "This ride is going to 
be the thrill of a lifetime", proclaims Misty doesn't have 
many thrills at home due to her white trash status. Togepi 
then roars in joy at the chance to spread its hypnotic 
message to a bunch of rednecks living along the train 
tracks. I guess its Togepi's rural route........ 
 
"Kanto League..... here we come!", shouts Crystal who'll 
finally get a chance to light up a joint in their private 
suite on the Magnet Train. Hmmmm..... private suite with 
one guy, two young girls, and a freaky egg thingy trying to 
take over the world. I could go on for hours about the 
freaky things that go down. But for now, I have to wrap 
things up. 
 
The train takes off after Pikachu and Sandshrew exalt in 
joy because they know that poor Justin will be coerced into 
an illegal menagetrois with two younger girls. A couple of 
cars down.... we notice that Jigglypuff has also managed to 
hitch a ride on the train. Near the end of the train, we 
also see the Meowth-obsessed Snubbull riding in a car near 
the end of the train. 
 
And finally, at the end of the train we see a rope attached 
to the end of the train. At the other end of the rope is a 
mine car with Team Rocket in it. "Hey", comments Jessie 
weakly, "We had a chance to swipe some of those Grimer back 
there.... why didn't we get any of them?" "I just couldn't 
take all dat doit and grime", groans a tired Meowth. "Then 
what was the point of your plan??!!", yells Jessie as 
Wobbuffet adds a "Wobb" to her question. "You're annoying 
me to the point where I want to kick your kaboose!", says a 
dismayed Jessie to her patiently pleased sidekick. 
 
Meowth replies, "I guess all dat unpure air wasn't helpin 
me tink straight." "I'd say", whines James, "In fact, your 
idea was so bad....." "Don't even say it!", yell Jessie and 
Meowth who are trying to avoid horrendous, yet obvious PUN-
ishment. But James can't hide his true feelings forever as 
we all know. "I can't help it.... I have to express what I 
feel inside", he says, "Your plan stunk!" 
 
They begin to beat him up as Jessie yells at him, "I told 
you not to say it!" The train rolls down the tracks into 
the sunset with TR arguing as we hear another summary of a 
beautiful episode. 
 
"Woooobbuffet!" proclaims the patiently pleased blue thing 
as it patiently rides off into the sunset. 
 

<sniff> What an appropriate ending.

 

To Be Continued