Dragonitemare presents
Pokemon Crystal series
Ep. 16
SUPERMARKET SLEEPERS
Well now.... after they're scenic, nauseous for TR, beneficial for world
domination for Togepi... AHEM!!! After their ride on the Magnet Train...
the Twerp parade has arrived in Saffron City. They board off the train and
begin to float around Saffron City at parade speed. Then..... only
then...... do our beloved collection of misfits..... speak.
"That ride was just soooo COOOOOOL!", screams a certain long haired hippie
talking like an airhead. No.... that wasn't James... but it is Crystal
making that outburst. And she did have reason to enjoy that ride. A roomy
private booth with tons of room to store...... let's call it personal
property this time, a nice and attractive older gentlemen, as well as a
hot, young redhead who doesn't have to worry about being leeched by Togepi
inside the train since Togepi can just look out the window and coerce its
message to dem hillbillies livin by dem train tracks.
So you see, Crystal has had much to enjoy on that recent train ride.
"All of these rides just keep getting bigger, better, fancier, more eye
poppin'", notes Justin. "And speaking of eye-poppin, look around at all of
these buildings. The size of these buildings never fails to impress me
every time I come.", notes Misty as Togepi parades down the street with
Misty getting yet another chance to spread its message of world invasion.
Hmmmmmmmmm...... so that explains why the twerps are parading through the
street. Togepi gets to claim more souls to help lead its invasion as its
primary slave Misty chauffers it up and down the streets of Saffron City.
Man..... Togepi is getting more and more devious nowadays.
After Justin agrees with Misty, she then asks Crystal what she's going to
do first. "Well", remarks Cris-tal who sounds totally stoned, "There's a
gym here right? Let's go challenge the gym leader!" She, Pikachu, and
Sandshrew begin to take off before Justin yells, "Wait!" Obviously, the
pimp is looking out for his prospects.
"You haven't even been in any pokemon battles yet. Are you sure you want to
challenge the gym leader right away?", asks Justin. Misty agrees with the
older, studlier man adding, "And the gym leader here is extremely tough."
But Crystal retorts Ash has said that his pokemon are at a high level and
she further claims that Sandshrew is well experienced, too.
"Ash says a lot of things that can be somewhat cockamamie", sighs Misty
about her crippled boyfriend. Justin then takes this opportunity to tease
Misty which he'll never learn is a mistake. He tells her, "Like when he
says he doesn't have a crush on you?" Misty responds by slapping him silly
yelling, "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?", as Togepi roars in
delight at the violence.
Crystal tries to mediate like a good little hippie telling the two not to
fight and she tells them to come with her into the gym. "Okay!" they both
groan (Misty in frustration.... Justin in dizziness after being smacked
around by a little girl) as they walk off towards the opposite direction.
But then we notice a tired and bruised Team Rocket following them. "Ha...
the twerps are in sight! Let's quick swipe Pikachu and that other sand
rat", commands Jessie. But Meowth and James are too tired to run too fast.
Jessie asks what's wrong and Meowth tells her, "Next time ya want ta tie a
mine car to the edge of a Magnet Train, try to find a car dat's less
bumpy!" "I'm tired of riding bumpy machinery!", groans James in yet another
hilarious quote.
He's probably telling Jessie that he doesn't want to ride on her G-train
anymore. And I know that all you male dodgers want to board on.... I know
y'all do!!!!!!!!
Jessie then doesn't want to hear of James pleas of no more rapings so she
yells at them, "Ooooooohhh! Just catch your breath and hurry up or we'll
lose those twerps!" James and Meowth don't want another whipping from
Jessie so James makes the best of the situation by agreeing to her and
thinking about a nice piece of ass from long ago. "Roger!", he yells to
Jessie as the trio races to catch up with their stoned adversaries.
Hmph.... now "our heroes" have to do battle with not only with sentimental
crap. But now they're taking on the war on drugs.
They begin running but then we notice a yellow face sensing danger. And as
Team Rocket is racing towards Cris-tal and Co., they run smack dab into an
invisible wall made by this Hypno who is walking along with a trainer. The
guy, who looks like a rock star reject, scolds his Hypno not to make
invisible barriers randomly on the street and then he yells at it to come
with him to the store.
As Hypno walks dejectedly moping "Hypno", TR is also moping about the wall
they smashed into as the inconsiderate pretty boy doesn't even check to see
if they're okay. "Well this soitainly halts our plans!", PUN-ishes Meowth.
"We've been running into many unseen obstacles lately!", moans James as
Wobbuffet makes its appearance as it scratches it head uttering, "Wobbuh."
<cue intro>
We cut back to our new Team Toyboy who is still looking for the Saffron
City gym so Crystal can challenge that freaky Sabrina. Misty then remembers
that the gym is around the next corner of the block they are on. So they
turn the corner and Crystal spots the gym and she encourages everyone to
let's go as Pikachu and Sandshrew cheer in excitement.
They get to the front of the gym while Justin asks them to slow down
claiming he low on energy which is probably from that weed that Cris-tal
made him smoke during their train orgy. Everyone is about to enter the gym
when a mysterious voice calls out to them, "You here to challenge the gym
leader?"
They turn around to notice that same punk rock loser who's out doing some
shopping for his mummy as well as his Hypno.
Crystal tells the guy arrogantly that she's going to do just that. But the
guy says that she's just wasting her time. So Crystal yells back, "What?
You think I'm not good enough?" "Well, probably not. But that's not why I'm
stopping you!", says the man. Misty shouts at him why he stopping them as
they all give him a sinister look. The mama's boy answers, "Because the gym
leader isn't there and she's not going to be for quite awhile."
"Why not?", asks Crystal in shock until Justin tells them all to look at
sign. Crystal, Misty, Pikachu, Sandshrew, and evil Togepi all read the sign
which says that the gym leader is on vacation and won't be back for at
least another week. "Oh great... now what am I supposed to do?", gasps
Crystal.
Justin tells the little crack ho to relax and he assures her that they
don't have to rush through the Kanto League right away. Togepi makes its
slave Misty tell Crystal, "Besides... I'm getting hungry. Let's go grab a
bite to eat and enjoy Saffron City while we're here." "That's a wonderful
idea, Misty", says Crystal as Pikachu yells, "Pika-chu", to congratulate
Togepi on its hunger pains timings.
The mama's boy then decides to interrupt our trio again saying that he's
headed to Stop-n-Shop (a supermarket) nearby and that they're welcome to
follow him if they want. He then introduces himself as Gavin and apologizes
for being rude at first but he was only saying all that because the Saffron
gym leader is so tough. Crystal then also apologizes for her attitude
asking Gavin (mama's boy extraordinale) if he frequents the gym.
He says that he does and that he trains there with his Hypno all the time
against the other psychic pokemon. He says that he's been training so hard
that they've won many key battles together but yet he has still never been
able to defeat the gym leader.
Ahahaha...................................... LOSER!
On their way to the supermarket, Crystal tells him if he keeps working at
it, then she's sure he'll beat that gym leader someday and blah blah blah.
But Justin then adds, "As for today... let's stock up on supplies at the
supermarket!" They all rejoice as they dream about what food they're going
to eat.
"I'm going to buy all the ice cream sandwiches that I could possibly
hold!", gapes Misty. Justin states, "I'm going to have a hot dog or two...
mmmmmmmmm!" "And I'm just going to get as many goodies as I possibly can.",
declares Crystal. "Shrew shrew!", adds Sandshrew proclaiming its hunger as
well as does Pikachu uttering, "Pika-pikachu!"
They finally arrive at the supermarket and arrive on a sight that would
make Ash throw an enormous tempertantrum. A 36-wheeler truck containing
circus Snorlax?? has tipped over on a Saffron City street falling right in
front of the supermarket entrance. The Snorlax who were being transported
in the truck are sealing off the other entrance. Apparently, they fell out
and have landed conveniently in front of the other entrance and are
sleeping so they can’t be moved.
Now Ash would take to action hero antics here and try to lift the 36-
wheeler over his head and throw it far away in an effort to impress Misty.
But we're not dealing with Ash here kiddies..... because Ash is now
physically (in addition to emotionally) crippled. Team Toyboy et al. gasp
at the carnage at the scene as well as the long line just to get into the
store. Gavin complains that it'll take forever before he gets all the food
that he needs (from his mama's shopping list I bet).
"Well... what are we going to do?", asks Crystal. "Well", suggests Misty,
"There are many other stores and businesses around here... let's go check
them out." Justin utters, "Eh..... might as well..... but I was really
looking forward to getting those hot dogs!", making Misty, Pikachu, and
Crystal show a sweat drop.
Make of that what you will....
They invite Gavin and Hypno (another Abbott and Costello in the making,
no?) to come along with them while they do whatever. But unbeknownst to
them, they're being watched by Team Rocket thanks to their super-senses
binoculars. "There they are.... found them again", states Jessie looking
from up top of a building. Meowth sighs that at least they caught up with
them again as they normally do. Jessie then continues, "And they're with
that kid and his Hypno we crashed into!"
"Well I for one think that the furry little psychic brat should pay for
messing with us.", shouts James. Jessie then adds, "Yes.... and so should
that Hypno!", as a rim shot rings in everyone's ears. "Well den there's
only one ting we must do!", proclaims Meowth, "We must swipe dat Hypno
along with Pikachu and Sandshrew!"
"Aha", states Jessie as TR shows bright smiles while the background becomes
colorful, "That will be Team Rocket's #1 (her cute belly rumbles)....
uh....... eehhh ............ I mean Team Rocket's #2 priority!" This change
of thought makes James and Meowth fall over. "I'm so hungry", moans Jessie
(GETCHA MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTA!), "We have to get some food!"
James then enters gay family flashback sequence telling Jessie, "I remember
that there's an enormous supermarket right nearby.... I used to go there
all the time when I visited Grand-ma-ma!" "Okay!", shouts Jessie who's now
pushing a shopping carriage with Meowth in the little seat part where
mothers put babies. "Let's go shopping!", she proclaims with true valley
girl style as they pretend to be in one of the aisles of the supermarket.
However, when they get there they observe the same scene that the others
saw with all the entrances being blocked. Jessie squeals in panic shouting,
"How will I ever fill my voracious little appetite?" Meowth then unwisely
interrupts her saying, "I tought your appetite could neva be satisfied."
This earns Meowth a pounding from a pissed off Jessie.
But James intervenes trying to hold back Jessie saying, "Wait Jessie...
it's okay it's okay... while we wait for the supermarket to reopen, we can
come up with a plan to swipe all of those pokemon!" Jessie dejectedly
cowers, "I guess so!"
Back with the other trio, Crystal tells everyone that they've got to pass
some time while the supermarket is blocked off. So she asks what they
should do. Misty says that she spots a beauty salon nearby and that she's
going to get her hair done. This leads Justin to ask her, "Isn't your hair
done as it is?" Misty answers him, "A woman's hair can never be totally
done.... come on Togepi let's go!" She then yells back to them that they'll
be back in a little while.
Hmmph... it looks like Togepi is bored with her hairstyle now. So now the
freaky egg thingy has her changing her hairstyle so it has a new form of
life it can leech off of Misty.
"Okay Justin", says Crystal, "I'm going to make a phone call and then
organize my belongings." And we all know that means Crystal has to get a
new supply from her dealer..... but wait till you read who her dealer is
today. She then asks him what he's going to do and if he wants to come with
her (so they can be......... alone......). But Justin replies that he's
going to try to help out with the accident and then he calls out his
Nidoqueen and tells it to do all its heavy lifting for him.
Justin then leaves as Crystal comments, "Some people will train even during
the toughest of times", hiding the rage she has that Justin chose a big
smelly jagged Nidoqueen over her. But then Gavin makes his move saying that
he'll accompany her for the time being. She thanks him and then adds that
maybe when she's through with her business (like getting her drug supply
back up), they can have a little pokemon battle.
"We're up for that!", retorts a determined Crystal as Sandshrew and Pikachu
each give the punk rock weirdo a smart-ass, 'I'm better than you' smile.
"Shrew shrew!", cries Sandshrew while Pikachu rests on top of Sandshrew's
head shouting, "Pi-pikachu!"
<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon??
...... It's Exeggutor................................ "Exeggutor!"
We see Crystal on her videophone ready to talk to her dealer. The phone is
answered and the person on the other line reveals himself to
be................. Prof. Oak!!!!
Okay..... we knew he was a pervert already and that he's been screwing
Ash's mother rotten for many, many years. But this may just take the cake!
"Oh Crystal!", utters Prof. Oak pretending to notice Crystal, "How are
things going in the Kanto League so far?" She answers that things are going
pretty well and that she's made some new friends and is in Saffron City
already.
"Wow! Sounds like you're doing very well for yourself.... I knew you'd make
out okay", answers Old Man Oak. "Ash said recently that you wanted to speak
to me! What's going on?", says Crystal acting as if she has no idea what he
has for her.
Oak says he got some things for her.... (see.... told ya!). He then
mentions to Crystal that Ash also has several extra pokemon at his
bordello/freak show ranch that Crystal can use. "Oh wow.... I wasn't even
aware of that. What other pokemon do Ash have?", asks Crystal.
"Well", grins Old Man Oak as Muk jumps onto the screen and attempts to rape
him again but he holds off the slimeball so he can speak. "Ha ha ha...
you've got Muk here... he's definitely a people person." You heard it
here dodgers..... Muk is totally into people.... not just into say......
umm.... other Muks. Oak adds, "There's also the clever and cunning
Kingler!", he adds as Kingler jumps into view while Oak begins his corny
alliterations. "..... plus there's the terrifically tough Tauros.... the
sensational super-sized Snorlax.... and the heroically horned Heracross."
Hmmm..... bet everyone $20 that he REALLY meant to say heroically horny
Heracross. Well... all of the pokemon make their appearances including the
perverted Heracross whom lands on the dirty Professor's back and tries to
hump him. But Muk gets envious of this and and tackles Heracross trying to
rape it instead. Heracross then just laughs and enjoys the fun of Muk all
over its body.
And so goes life on the ranch of that perverted sicko.... Prof. Oak and his
powerfully perverted pokemon.
Crystal then wows and says she never had any idea of how many pokemon Ash
has had. She still doesn't...... she has no idea of the several pokemon
that Ash has given away including one all mighty Charizard. Oak then
continues in the midst of all the pokemon perversion and tells Crystal that
he has a couple more things for her.
Hmmm.... it has just become dodgier in this room.
Oak gives her Ash's pokedex and he tells her she can use it to identify
pokemon for reference. So now not only has Cris-tal sweet talked her way
into Ash's pokemon... she now has his identity, too. (Remember, pokedexes
are used for identification.) So now Dexter is back.... but that's not all.
Oak also says that he has some useful goodies for her.
We notice in the bag that there is a lot of green and brown material that
looks like dirt and leaves. So Crystal receives her "care package" from the
dirty old man and she thanks him (for giving her a new stash of hemp). Oak
reminds her to remember to use the pokedex and Ash's other pokemon if she
needed it. She thanks Oaky and hangs up to let him tend to his
business....... his dirty business with those dirty pokemon...... and Mrs.
Ketchum.
"It must be really great to have an expert like Prof. Oak on your side",
says Gavin towards Crystal. Apparently he knows a thing or two about the
drug business as well. Crystal does tell him that it's an extra bonus to
have a perverted old man on her side. She then asks him if he wants to
battle her now. Gavin then replies with the simple yet ever infamous dodgy
line, "Let's do it!" Hypno adds, "Hypno", cuz after all.... whose says it
doesn't want some action.
Yeah..... and who also says that the weird looking teddy bear looking thing
has never gotten laid by another pokemon. When you think about it.... it
probably puts other pokemon to sleep by accident just before it gets to the
best part. That is.... if the weird looking thing ever got that far.
They go outside to have their battle right out on the street in the middle
of traffic. Doesn't matter there.... cuz in the pokemon world, all those
f*cked up pokemon people will stop what they're doing just to watch a
little pokemon battle on the street. But when they get outside the
videophone booth and get back onto the sidewalk, Crystal, Pikachu,
Sandshrew, Gavin, and Hypno all fall into a ditch that was hidden on the
sidewalk.
"How did this massive pothole get here?", asks Gavin with Hypno landing
upside-down on him. He adds, "This city must be doing a horrendous job with
construction." Crystal utters, "Ugh.... <cough>.... somehow I don't think
this was an accident!" with Sandshrew landing right on her gut along with
Pikachu.
That is when three voices from above begin laughing. "Welcome to our little
pitfall!", shouts Meowth.
"Ha! This isn't an accident so prepare for trouble!"
"Your deep in the hole now so make it double!"
"To protect the world from devastation"
"To unite all peoples within our nation"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love"
"To extend our reach to the stars above"
"Jessie"
"James"
"Yeah yeah yeah! I've heard it all before too many times already",
interrupts Crystal. "And I'm not giving you any of my pokemon so you'd
better just move on", she says proving she has no idea about what TR is all
about. Gavin then decides to stick his nose in this thang shouting, "Who
are you?! ... and what do you think you're doing?" He then realizes who the
trio is from the earlier encounter.
Jessie then cuts them all off screaming, "How dare you! You little
twerps.... never ever interrupt the TR motto again!" "Now let's start off
where we were so rudely interrupted!", sneers James.
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight"
Then there is a long pause as they wait for Wobbuffet to say its line.
"Where's that camera hog?", says Jessie annoyed. "Ah.... screw him. We can
skip right through him while it snoozes..... heh heh... that's right!"
"This.... is the most important thing for you?", asks Crystal. Jessie
answers, "The motto is like our identity." "We can't go through this
without saying it", adds James. Meowth jumps in to say, "But anotta ting
dat makes us who we are is what we do! And dat's stealin your precious
pokemon." He then pushes a button on this strange two-handed fishing rod
that grabs Pikachu and Sandshrew.
Crystal shouts, "No!", in protest as any dumb good guy would say after
their pokemon has been stolen. "Ha ha", laughs James, "That two-handed claw
truly does make the trouble double, Meowth." "But wait... we ain't done
yet!", adds Meowth as Jessie uses a stick to extend a giant sack that
captures Hypno.
"Hypno.... no!", shouts the punk-haired mama's boy while demands that they
give back their pokemon. As if that would ever work. Jessie responds
pretending to try and think of a way to break the news to them. She says,
"Hmmmmmm..... how can I say this so that you twerps can
understand?......... ahhh.... no no NO! Ahahahahahaha!"
"You're not smart and you're not funny so I guess you'll have to learn the
hard way..... thunderbolt 'em Pikachu!", responds Crystal as Pikachu
obliges but the double reel thing is shockproof of course. So after TR
points out that the machine is shockproof, Crystal has Sandshrew try a
sandstorm attack ...... but..... the device also has a little vacuum that
sucks up the sand and throws it back in the faces of the two kids.
"Ahahahahaha!", quips James, "All of that energy of yours twerp is being
thrown right back in your face." Crystal groans and has Sandshrew stop the
attack. Jessie concludes, "Well... you've been a pothole that's made our
quest very bumpy. So it's only poetic justice that you end up in something
that you are so used to being." "Speak for yourselves!", retorts Crystal.
Meowth then says they don't have time to squabble and that they've got to
wobble on out of here.
That is when Wobbuffet finally decides to appear and spread its message of,
"Wobb!" once more. "We didn't say get Wobbuffet out of here so get back in
your pokeball so we can get away or I'll begin to consider going away
without you!!", shouts Jessie as it calls back Wobbuffet. "Wobbuh!", shouts
Wobbuffet once more before being sucked back into its pokeball. "Ta ta
twerps", yells James as they run off.
"Our pokemon!", gasps Gavin, "And how are we going to get out of this
hole!" "Team Rocket has to pay!", yells Crystal, "But don't worry Gavin....
I can get us out of this rut we're in! Go Bulbasaur!" The hard-ass pokemon
then comes out shouting its name and sounding more pissed than usual.
Bulbasaur then uses its vine whip at the request of Crystal and it pulls
all of them out of the hole. Gavin thanks Crystal and then they go chase
after TR.
The afformentioned Team Rocket is strolling through the street with their
stolen pokemon in tow. James then decides to blurt out, "You know.... every
time use the pitfall plan, we've had our easiest successes." "When have you
eva had success?", screams back Meowth before Jessie stops the fiery
scratch-cat and laughing, "Ha ha. I guess he likes to dream!" James moans
back, "I have to or else life is no fun for me! This world is so cruel!"
Hmmm.... read into that what you will.
"Hey!" shouts out Cris-tal who has now found them. TR looks back and
notices the two after them with Bulbasaur flanking Crystal. "Daaaaaaaah!",
screams Meowth, "We're goin ta have ta pick up da pace!", as they begin to
run away with Crystal and Gavin in pursuit.
Crystal shouts that they have to find a way to slow down TR. That is when
Gavin yells out to Hypno to try and stop them with a psychic attack.
Somehow from inside the bag, Gavin's Hypno is able to use telekinesis and
it levitates TR thanks to the fact that it is well trained. Jessie asks
what happened and James answers, "It appears that we're frozen in time."
Crystal takes the opportunity to get her pokemon back having Bulbasaur use
vine whip to pull Pikachu and Sandshrew free. Hypno gets free when James
drops the bag that was carrying it in. Crystal welcomes back Sandshrew as
mama's boy congratulates Hypno on a job well done. "Okay Pikachu... give
them a nice blazin' thunderbolt", commands Crystal in true druggie fashion.
Pikachu fries TR and then goes back to Crystal to be patted. "Hey Jess",
groans James, "What do we have in common with that supermarket?" "I dunno,
what?", replies Meowth. "We're work to try and make a living... but we're
always getting shut down at inconvenient times", he answers to his unfunny
joke. Wobbuffet then comes out to try and console him and to stop him from
telling any more stupid jokes.
Crystal then shouts at them that she'll finally have them arrested by the
corrupt cops that let her float around with all she's got. Jessie then
quips, "Well twerp, you can thank the two inconveniences I have following
m........ huh?" She then notices that something is starting to sizzle as
does James and Meowth. "Daaaaaaaaaaahhh! Da two pronged fishin reel is
short circuitin and it's gonna blow!!!", panics Meowth.
Wobbuffet patiently wobbuhs as James nervously states, "So does this mean
we're going to blast off again?" "I'd say the chances of that are pretty
good", says Jessie with a touch of irony. And then low and behold.... the
machine thingy blows sending them sky high.
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!", they all scream as Wobbuffet
punctuates it with a "Wobb!"
"So that was Team Rocket!", notes Gavin, "Are they always that annoying?"
"Fraid so! They just keep following me ever since I entered the Kanto
League.", utters Crystal in response, "but I guess Misty would know more
about them than I do..... at least.... so far." Gavin then kisses her ass
about how great it is for her to compete in the Kanto League and then he
says that he wants to be good enough to compete in that league. "Thanks....
I just hope I can compete with all the other tough trainers out here.....
like you!", replies Crystal.
"Oh yeah that reminds me....... before we were so rudely interrupted, I
believe you challenged me to a pokemon battle.... you ready?", states Gavin
as Crystal says she is ready. She then tells her pokemon that its their
first battle in Kanto and asks if their ready. Pikachu, Sandshrew, and
Bulbasaur all aggressively shout out in readiness.
Gavin and Crystal have their little staredown as then Gavin announces that
he's going with Hypno. Whew..... big surprise there! Crystal then goes with
Bulbasaur to battle Hypno. Pikachu quips, "Pika", as the suspense seems to
be killing him. Crystal has Bulbasaur use tackle but Hypno's reflect keeps
Bulbasaur at bay. Bulbasaur then tries razor leaf while Hypno is forced
down to one knee to use future sight.
Bulbasaur then uses vine whip but Hypno is well trained and evades the vine
whip and it headbutts Bulbasaur. Crystal then sucks up to Gavin
complementing about how well trained Hypno is as she watches it whoop
Bulbasaur's ass. She then orders Bulbasaur to use synthesis that she
must've found time to teach it while the TV audience wasn’t watching her.
Synthesis helps Bulbasaur recover some energyand Crystal is psyched that
Bulbasaur gets back up. (Although I probably think that it was such a
tough-ass pokemon that it got up on its own anyway.) Bulbasaur psychs
itself up shouting Bulbasaur and then attacking with another tackle attack.
Crystal then has Bulbasaur try to finish off Hypno with a razor leaf but
before it can.... a sharp pain engulfs Bulbasaur like it has become
constipated. "Uh oh.... I forgot about that future sight attack", remembers
Crystal and Bulbasaur is down.
Hypno then seems to finish off Bulbasaur with its psychic powers as it
tosses Bulbasaur up and down the sidewalk before leaving Bulbasaur to rot.
But Bulbasaur is a survivor and it won't be taken down that easily. So when
Crystal encourages it to try and get up, it does despite all the bruises
present on its plant/animal whatever it is body.
Crystal has Bulbasaur use vine whip but Gavin, who is stunned that
Bulbasaur didn't faint yet, yells for Hypno to hurry and use confusion.
This... Hypno does just in time before the vine whip can whoop Hypno's ass.
The confusion attack finally downs Bulbasaur after a long struggle. And
thus, Crystal loses her first Kanto league trainer battle.
I'll let all the insensitive assholes laugh at her right now for a moment.
Okay... that's enough. Gavin then complements Crystal about how well
trained Bulbasaur is. Crystal is flattered but then she claims that she
didn't train Bulbasaur. She tells him that a friend of hers raised these
pokemon but he's hurt now and is letting her borrow them for a while so she
can live out her dream of being a pokemon trainer. Gavin then tells her
what a great story that is and he says again that she's really impressed at
the way she handles pokemon that hasn't known very long. He concludes that
with some more practice, she'll be an extremely formidable contender in the
Kanto League.
Well she didn't say that she was a loser on drugs that got lucky and ended
up with other people's pokemon to let her compete in the Kanto League. But
hey...... look on the bright side: at least she was more modest than that
schmuck Ash would've been. She tells Gavin that next time.... her pokemon
will be even tougher to defeat and Gavin replies he and Hypno will be ready
and stronger as well. Crystal thanks Bulbasaur for the ass whipping it
received and returns it to her pokeball.
Gavin then suggests to her, "I'm sure the supermarket will be open by now!
You want to go see?" Crystal responds, "That would be a great idea..... I
haven't eaten anything since breakfast." Sandshrew also answers, "Shrew!",
while Pikachu on its back also answers to the call of "Pika pika!" as its
little pika-belly rumbles making Pikachu hold its stomach.
They are walking on their way back towards the Stop-n-Shop when a voice
cries out to the half-baked duo. "Hey! There you are", shouts Misty. They
turn around and gaze in astonishment at Misty's new hairstyle (which looks
like her hairstyle from the G/S games w/o the ponytail). "You like it?",
she asks as Togepi roars nonstop as its an energy overload from its host.
"It looks great..... you could turn some heads with your new style",
compliments Crystal. Misty blushes in embarassment as Gavin tries to hit on
the little energy starved girl, "You sure turned my head!", and they all
share a vacant laugh.
They reach up with Justin just outside the Stop-n-Shop to ask how things
are going. After he greets everyone saying, "I hope your free time went
well.", he continues, "Well.... the main door is open again. Nidoqueen here
and a bunch of other pokemon helped move the tipped trucks remains so it
could be carted out of here." Mullet haired Misty then asks about the door
blocked by Snorlax. Justin ponders and then tells them that they're still
passed out in front of the other door.
But Gavin is tired of being a loser and a mama's boy and declares that
he'll fix that. He has Hypno use its psywave to wake up all the Snorlax
which moves them in a matter of seconds. And with all those pokemon and
civilians helping. It should make everyone ponder this question. Just what
the hell were Officer Jenny and those other police workers doing?
(Warning! Sarcasm alert!) Man..... can't underestimate the value of an
Officer Jenny.
Speaking of the corrupt devil, she comes over from sitting on her ass and
thanks the twerps for helping to finally unblock the doors. I mean... with
all the resources of the city government.... couldn't she figure out how
solve that problem herself?...... geesh!
Gavin thanks her for another empty compliment as Crystal suggests that they
all go inside to get some food. And of course all of the twerps and pokemon
are eager to go inside so they can stuff their faces. After they get all
the suplies they need now that they magically have money after boarding the
Magnet Train...... hmmmmm. Wonder if Crystal needed to sell some of her
gifts she received from Old Man Oak....
Anyway Crystal thanks Gavin just outside the supermarket for the battle
adding that it will help her become a smarter trainer. "No problem",
replies Gavin who has a bunch of bags of food to bring back home to mama.
"Hey Gavin", says Justin inquisitively, "If the Saffron Gym is going to be
closed for a while... then where do you think we should go to find the next
gym?"
Gavin says he believes the next nearest gym is in Vermilion City. He then
tells Crystal, "When you return here.... look me up and we'll have a
rematch.", which could mean some kind of slang for 'Thanks for the
weed'. He looks too burned out not to be on something. "You can count on
it!" replies Crystal with more hidden msessages as Pikachu pika's on in
delight at the food along with Hypno who's pushing the shopping cart.
Then then have their good-bye waves with the new Team Toyboy not looking in
front of them at all and with Gavin shouting good luck messages even though
the lip movements don't correlate with the number of syllables he's
uttering. And so on and so forth................ and thus Cris-tal may have
gotten her ass kicked in her first trainer battle in Kanto... but it was a
great learning experience. And she also now has a new drinking buddy in
Saffron City. So the twerps move on and exit Saffron City.
Meanwhile........... later that night........
TR is walking down the streets of Saffron City bruised and battered after
yet another trip sky high thanks to Crystal. "Dat goil is more dangerous
den dat otha twoip", mutters Meowth. "She's getting on my nerves almost
as much my empty stomach!", adds Jessie beratedly. James then whines, "I
just want something to eat."
They then turn their attention down the street and notice the Stop-n-Shop
they were trying to get into. "The supermarket!", proclaims Jessie with
their eyes lighting up. "Eeeeeee", gayly eeeee's James, "Let's super stuff
our super sacks! (OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GETCHA MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTA)" Then
then rush over to get into the store.
But unfortunately this big fat mean lady locks the door and turns the sign
around that says OPEN to CLOSED. "Hey.... we need to get in here and do
some shopping!", yells Jessie. "Sorry.... we're closed!!", forcefully
blurts out the manager lady. "Hey... I thought you guys were supposed to be
serviceable and friendly!", yells Jessie again. "We're closed.... no ifs,
and, buts, or second thoughts. We're closed! And we're only smiling and
friendly during business hours!", yells the bitch as she then leaves into
the store.
"Oh well", states Jessie looking like she's beginning to cry (and I know
you'd want to console her), "Everyone else gets all the gourmet meals and
luxury." "Yeah", adds a whining James, "And it looks like we're forced to
making due with 7-11's." See..... every good advertisement makes a sinister
lasting impression on you, especially when it comes from an animated
celebrity villain.
To Be Continued