Dragonitemare presents

Pokemon Crystal series

Ep. 21

Recalling the joy that was "A Shocking Chopper Ride", we remember that our intrepid threesome was invited to go on a helicopter ride piloted by none other than Lianne. But Team Rocket was disguised on the jumbo helicopter as "stewardesses". When they secretly trapped Sandshrew and Pikachu, they got into a battle with the threesome.

Crystal and Misty eventually beat TR (of course) with help from one of Lianne's Elekid and they got back Pikachu and Sandshrew (the two loveboids.... what else is new?) but the battle caused considerable damage to the helicopter. This caused the helicopter to come tumbling down out of the sky. It looked like everyone onboard was going to die in the copter crash, but Togepi wasn't ready for that bitch to go out like that. So it summoned its secret evil powers disguised in a metronome attack causing the helicopter to crash gently into water.

The threesome, Lianne, and the pokemon were saved for now but then... a new problem arose. The entire crew is trapped in the helicopter as it is sinking to the bottom of the ocean probably somewhere near the St. Anne. It's only a matter of time now before the helicopter becomes full with water and drowns everything inside... including Togepi.

Maybe this chopper ride wasn't such a bad idea for Misty after all..... nevertheless, this brings up the burning question that I'm sure is itching everyone right now.

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...... How the f*ck are our wacky protagonists going to get out of this? And how will Crystal cope with not being high for the longest period in her life since her first period? The answers to our threesome's and Lianne's salvation as you'll soon read will lie in a bunch of shiny, scaly, chubby water pokemon that run their own little bordello. I guess one name you could call this species would be -- the Tracey Fish.

<cue intro>

We see that the helicopter is still sinking about to hit the ocean floor with everyone still inside. Crystal is inside worrying, "What are we going to do? We're trapped!" "And if we stay in here too long... we'll probably suffocate!", adds Justin who totally fears suffocation. The helicopter then thuds as it hits the dark ocean floor tumbling everyone to the ground.

"We're in luck.... we landed on a shallow area of the ocean floor! We could probably swim around and not be crushed to death by water pressure.", notes Lianne who apparently loves swimming around dark ocean floors. "Yeah.... but how are we going to possibly hold our breath until we reach the surface?", asks Justin.

"That's right!", argues Misty with encouragement from Togepi, "....and it's not like Togepi can breathe underwater either!" Lianne then gives them all breathing apparatuses (similar to those used in The Misty Mermaid) so they can breathe underwater. She gives one to Crystal, then Justin, and then Pikachu. But when she offers one to Misty, she tells her that she's got her own. Lianne tells her that she must be really prepared for this kind of emergency. Misty responds mentioning for the one millionth time that she's a water pokemon trainer so she naturally has anything that's usable to study water pokemon.

At this moment, Pikachu pikas to everyone noticing that the helicopter finally leaked and is filling up with water. "Oh no! The water's filling up!", gasps Crystal, "Sandshrew can't hold out like this forever!" "And Togepi can't survive underwater!", warns Togepi through the voice of Misty as we see Togepi on Misty's shoulders looking more scared than you've ever seen it.

After Lianne shouts that they have to bail some of the water out even though they're totally surrounded by water, the surrounding helicopter area starts to lighten up. Justin notices this phenomenon while the girls look on panicking hopelessly. "Uuuuuuuuuuhhhhh guys???", quivers Justin making him assume their sex incorrectly. "Not now... we have to think of a way out!", yells Misty who's mind is being totally controlled by Togepi so she can't sense any other reality going on except for the reality that Togepi is in danger.

"I know... we have to escape but we might have some more trouble...", he continues pointing out the window. Everyone turns to look at what Justin is pointing towards and they all notice these chubby, scaly, shiny, and blue fish pokemon staring at them through the glass along with similar but smaller looking blue fish along with them. Now Crystal has never seen these kind of pokemon as she notes (not even in her wildest acid trip...). Thus, despite the fact that the water level is rising fatally for Sandshrew and for Togepi, she still has all the time in the world to whip out Dexter to check out these unfamiliar pokemon.

Chinchou -- the Angler Pokemon -- It's antennae, which evolved from a fin, have both positive and negative charges flowing through them.

...... and the other voyeuristic Tracey-fish type......

Lanturn -- the Light Pokemon -- The evolved form of Chinchou. This pokemon uses the bright part of its body, which changed from a dorsal fin, to lure prey.

Misty wonders what they could want with them. And then, the Lanturn start to slam against the sunken helicopter sending everyone into a panic. "This looks bad!", comments Cris-tal pointlessly as Justin adds nervously, "I think we're Lanturn lunch!", to the "Shrew!" of a nervous Sandshrew as it watches the fateful water line continue to rise.

And then........ horror of horrors <sarcasm>.... one of the Lanturns crack the glass creating a giant hole that breaks open. All of the humans and Pikachu are okay with their breathing apparatuses on, but Sandshrew and Togepi are drowning as I write. Togepi has Misty desperately cover it up to try and save the freaky egg thingy. But the Lanturn interfere in this process as Togepi desperately calls upon its super powers over its subordinate pokemon to try and help.

Pikachu tries to swim over to Togepi with a fervent, "Pi-pika! (Don't worry... I'll save you master!)" But one of the Lanturn beat Pikachu to the almighty Togepi setting up an enormously great or disturbing scene depending on your age and opinions of the freaky egg thingy. In a scene that will be forever relished by Togepi haters (even though it's not what you think happens), Lanturn jolts Misty sending Togepi out of its' host's grasp. And with a wide open mouth, the Lanturn ingests Togepi into its mouth whole and then swims away.

Needless to say, Togepi sets off a distress signal in Misty that makes her squeal in horror. "AAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh! Toooooogepiiiiiiiiiii!", she screams. "I have to go after that thing!", she yells calling out the pointy Staryu with its patented, "Hya!!", yell. Crystal proclaims that she will follow her.... but at that moment she turns around and notices to her horror that another Lanturn is holding her Sandshrew in its jaws. The rest of the Lanturns and Chinchous swim away as Sandshrew calls out in desperation, "Shreeeeeeewwwwwwwwww!", as its also being taken away.

Crystal tries to swim after it but Justin holds her back saying that they'll get lost if they try to chase them. "So what are we going to do? It's not like we can swim as fast as those things!", proclaims the more rational Lianne. Misty says that they can swim better with some of her water pokemon so she sends out Goldeen and Poliwhirl in addition to Staryu who's already out. "Okay guys.... help us swim around so we can look for Togepi and Sandshrew", commands Misty who has been locked on to all-out search mode by and for Togepi.

Crystal grabs on to Poliwhirl and Lianne rides Goldeen. Justin tells Misty and the others that he can swim around with Dragonite as he calls it out to bark of, "Hrooooh!" Misty commands everyone to set out and they begin to go. Unfortunately, Crystal must still be feeling the aftereffects of those pills she took while still on board the super copter because she's forgetting about something.

That something yells out to Crystal from behind as she turns around and sees poor Pikachu struggling to follow the group on its own. Crystal yells for everyone to hold up as she apologizes to Pikachu excusing herself by saying that she was in such a rush to get Sandshrew back that she forgot about the little rodent. What a neglectful pokemon trainer..... just what Ash had in mind leaving Pikachu and his other pokemon with her, right?

She then tells Pikachu that it can also follow them riding the insane Totodile. It gets called out as it waves its arms about wildly causing all sorts of small little current before Pikachu grasps onto the unstable little thing as Crystal commands it to take Pikachu and follow them as they swim around the ocean. Totodile agrees by wildly shaking its body in ecstatic happiness as Pikachu is barely able to hang on. Hee hee hee........ luv dat Totodile.

They then follow Misty (who's on Staryu) who's being alerted by Togepi's hypnotic waves to follow her in the way of the Lanturn that swallowed Togepi. So Misty, Crystal (with Poliwhirl), Lianne (with Goldeen), Pikachu (with energy riddled Totodile), and Justin (with the sleek plush-looking orange Barney of the Sea - Dragonite) all set out into the abyss of the ocean floor in pursuit of the Chinchous, the Lanturns, Sandshrew, and Togepi.

But now, we are momentarily taken above the ocean surface so we can all get a fresh breath of air. We also get a fresh new cast of heroes as we notice Team Rocket drifting out in the middle of the ocean stranded and fishing for food. "Oooh.... we've been cast away on this raft so long we might eventually find Gilligan's Island", notes Jessie. "If dey find us a camera.... we could tape our very own Savivor!", adds Meowth illustrating further TR's love of classic TV.

"Catch anything yet, James?", asks Jessie annoyed towards him. "I don't think there are any fish that like us around here", whines James. This prompts Jessie to stuff his face into the raft they're on with her boot. She yells at him, "Stop making excuses for your inability to catch fish! I even let you use my patented Jessie lure.... no pokemon could resist beauty like that." Wobbuffet pops out to agree, "Wobbuffet", with her saluting towards her ass.

"I think the fish find something fishy about you, Jessie", moans James in reply. Jessie then yells again that he just doesn't know the first thing about how to fish. She then growls, "In fact, you're so bad... errrr... that someone completely incompetent and retarded and crazy could do a better job fishing than you can." "Dat's right fishahking!", agrees Meowth as Wobbuffet also shouts, "Wooooobbbuh!", in agreement. Jessie then turns to Meowth and commands him, "That's why you're going to do the fishing now!"

"Whaaaa??!", gasps the scratch-cat. "But why is it my toin, Jessie?", asks Meowth. Jessie responds, "I thought it would be a natural ability of any Meowth to catch fish.... or do you have no ability whatsoever?" "Ahh fine... I'll do it!", Meowth agrees. Jessie is delighted and hands the fishing rod to Meowth as James quips, "Reel in a delicious catch for us!" Wobbuffet then also entreats him on his mission saluting him and saying, "Wooobuhfet!!"

They then hear a whirring sound coming from up above. Jessie yells that this isn't the time for hunger pains as we notice Wobbuffet continue to salute and adore Jessie's ass. God bless that blue blobby thing!!! James then notices that it isn't his stomach and then in one of his louder squeals...... "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee! It's a rescue boat!"

He he he he he he....

TR then notices a boat sailing along in the distance. So J, J, M, and W all try to signal the boat as it drifts by. But nobody will seem to give our beloved Team Rocket a well deserved break. Thus, the boat drifts by not able to rescue TR as they remain stuck out at sea. They all moan as James then whines, "We may be out here forever!!", afraid that nothing will stop Jessie from constantly raping him silly for the rest of eternity. Meowth then reverts to Outkast's fine CD by asking him, "Fuh-eva eva? Fuh-EVA EVA???", as he listlessly holds the rod out into the water [GETCHA MIND OUTTA DA GUTTA GIRLS (and gay boys)!!!!!].

Jessie then growls towards Meowth considering that she isn't in a good mood due to the fact that she's stranded without any straight guys on a raft in the middle of the ocean. Meowth then repents to her, "I'm sorry Ms. Jessie...", as James beckons, "Oooooh!" Jessie asks him what that was for and he simply replies, "Nothing!", as Wobbuffet lets out one more, "Wobb!" before we leave them for now.

Back underwater, we notice the search party still searching for the parasitic leech and Pikachu's love interest. Misty asks Staryu if it sees anything and Staryu replies with a staunch, "Hya!" Misty then moans and worries about Togepi remembering all the times that it has leeched off of her. Togepi then telepathically makes her cry before Crystal and Poliwhirl try to cheer her up. Crystal tells her, "Don't worry, Mist! Even if Togepi is gone, we'll continue to look for it and Sandshrew.... okay, yo?", sounding totally like the druggie that she is. Poliwhirl looks confused at seeing a crackhead for the first time ever so it just assures Misty by letting out a confused, "Poli!"

Goldeen then veers off in another direction followed by Dragonite. Misty asks if they found something and it turns out they found a couple pieces of tempting Chinchou tail (KEEP YO MIND IN DA GUTTA.... cuz that's exactly what Goldeen is thinking). The two Chinchou then try and swim off so Togepi telepathically has Misty command everyone to follow them and see where they go.

Everybody swims after the Chinchou until they all end up in this vacuous cavern inside this underwater hill. Cris-tal (who thinks that she totally trippin even more now than when she first landed underwater) looks around and wonders, "Where the heck are we?" Lianne is then fascinated at the surprising site surrounding her and she tells everyone to look.

And inside this dark and dimly lit grotto, we notice a huge community of Chinchou and Lanturns. There are a group of them 'socializing' in one area while another huge group is playing some sort of rugby or American football type game. And then there are a couple of Chinchou relaxing with each other in this makeshift electrical portal and finally, last but not least, a whole school of Lanturn and Chinchou are swimming into a private miniature cavern so they can do.......... uhh uhhh ummm....... whatever.

.............. MY GOD!!!!! IT'S A SECRET CHINCHOU/LANTURN UNDERWATER SEX SPA!!!!!!!!!!! May God help us all.... that's all I have to say.....

"This is unbelievable!!", states Justin noting the obvious. Misty comments that this place must be where these pokemon occupy.

............. Occupying is only the half of it Misty.... if only you'd just confess your feelings to Ash (or Crystal or maybe even Justin), then you'd know everything. We then see Pikachu chatting it up with one of the lust-driven Lanturn nearby while Totodile just seems ecstatic just to be Totodile. Pikachu then exclaims, "Pikaaaaa!", in response and absolute joy probably wanting to get in on one of the fishy sex orgies going on. Ewwwwwwwwwww.... Pikachu you pervert!!!!!

Fishy PUN-ishment aside, Crystal, Justin, Misty, Lianne, and the pokemon they're riding on are exploring the cavern when Crystal seems to trip upon a huge discovery (Get it? Trip? Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!). <Dragonitemare gets a dead arm for that one.> She peers into one of the vast underwater chambers and notices Sandshrew inside what looks like a little oxygen bubble. She gasps as does Pikachu at the sight of its flirtmate being detained by these devious electrical fish.

As they enter the chamber, Justin then points out the presence of the energy expended Togepi inside another air bubble. "Togepi!!!", Misty gasps as they evil egg thingy draws its host closer to it like a magnet. Crystal remarks that they have to rescue them (hell with Togepi... just take Sandshrew and leave Togepi to fail in its devious world takeover plot). Lianne tells them that once they get them out of those bubbles, she can slip on some of her miniature breathing apparatuses and they can quickly move towards the surface.

But as Sandshrew and Togepi are about to be freed like caged prisoners of war, two Lanturn who were guarding the air bubble descend and keep our protagonists from getting any closer towards the 'captives'. "Lanturn!!", shouts Crystal in rage as Togepi telepathically forces Misty to shout at the dangerous electrical fish, "You're not going to keep me from rescuing Togepi!!!" Pikachu also barks orders at the Lanturns (though it just wants to save its Romeo), shouting, "Pi-pikachu pika pika!!!!", while Totodile supports Pikachu as it shakes around adding, "Toto-toto totodile 'dile!!!", while Pikachu struggles to hang on to the jumpy gator. We then see Misty still in a staredown with one of the Lanturn as she is being controlled by the evil Togepi who's in the rare situation of being confined...... in this case its inside the air bubble.

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon??

........ It's Sudowoodo!!! ............ "Sudowooooooodo!"

After the long staredown, Misty tells the fish that it's not going to mess her and she commands Staryu to tackle erupting a pokemon battle in the underwater sex spa grotto. The Lanturn then shoves Staryu back which Justin calls its take down attack. At this moment another Lanturn detains Misty as if she was a subdued criminal or maniac (which might be what Togepi wanted). While this is going on, her "helpful" pokemon are just standing still while she's being restrained instead of coming to their fearless trainer's aid.

Could they be making a statement? Is it that they want to Togepi put in its place and have the world rid itself of the eggy abomination??? Well f*ck.... I'll never know!!! I can't read the expressions of pokemon!!!

But that is exactly what Justin tries to do real shortly. As Misty's being restrained by the Lanturn's bright antennae, the emergency alert system of Togepi's goes off in her at full blast as she roars with all her feminine might to try and escape from the fishy clutches of these pokemon to rescue her master Togepi. Crystal tries to go over and calm her down as Poliwhirl swims her over to Misty.

But unfortunately, the fact that these Chinchou and Lanturns are keeping Pikachu from its lover is too much for the chubby yellow rodent to handle. So Pikachu charges up a thunderbolt totally forgetting that its underwater. But before Pikachu can fry everybody into a crisp, Justin stops it reminding Pikachu that it can't do that underwater.

At this moment, the head Lanturn pimp moves to the center of this particular chamber and lets out a particularly loud fishy roar similar to that of Dragonite's weird-ass cry. This gets everybody's attention including Totodile whose jaw is dropped with a "Damn..... what the hell be that shiznit!!!???" look on its face after jigging insanely underwater.

This particular Lanturn, whom has a disturbing looking leader mark on the side of its chubby belly, belts out a series of weird sounds which sounds like bad folk music (or fold music in general since it ain't like any of it is good...). Misty gets all jittery as she asks Crystal, "What are they going to do now?" Crystal sounds more high than ever when she responds that she has no clue. She then orders Misty to watch and maybe they'll find out.

After Lanturn belts out its weird and crappy music to the approval of the other shiny, scaly, and chubby pokemon (just like a three tenors concert), Misty then asks what it was saying. Crystal, who seems tired of Misty's controlled antics, tells her that she doesn't know and that they'd have to have to translate what that Lanturn was saying. Justin, ever so eager to be a chick pleaser, tells the girls that he can have Dragonite translate what Lanturn was saying for them and for the pokemon.

Crystal asks how Dragonite can do that so Justin retorts, "Are you crazy, bitch??!!!!! You questioning the all-might coolness of the chill Drag-o-nite??!!", smacking her in the process.

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................ Okay he didn't say that nor did he smack the druggie (though if he did, would she honestly feel it??), but he does tell her that since Dragonite is so smart, it can translate what pokemon are saying and describe it in a way that other pokemon and people can understand. "That's pretty handy!", remarks Crystal who simply seems out of it now and has completely succumbed to this experience. And thus, it'll probably be classified as an acid trip rather than an adventure.

Justin then commands Dragonite to tell him what Lanturn just blurted out which looks like a cop handing Barney a court summons child endangerment... he he he. Dragonite then goes out in front of everyone and begins to make these body gestures to try and make everyone understand. Misty doesn't understand what its trying to say since her intellectual energy was worn away by Togepi's distress signal so all she can do is look bewildered as she clings to Staryu.

So when she asks the other mentally fit humans around what its saying, Lianne responds to her that Dragonite is telling them that the Lanturn mean no harm and that took away Togepi and Sandshrew to protect them from drowning and the water. At this moment, all of the Chinchou and the Lanturns begin to leave the chamber dragging along Sandshrew and the demonic Togepi in their air bubble. Justin then asks Dragonite if that's what the goofy orange dragon is trying to say and it nods in agreement.

Crystal then reasons that they were so panicked about them stealing their pokemon for their dinner that they in fact didn't even stop to consider if they were trying to help them. Justin then addresses them further by telling them that Dragonite is saying that the Lanturn wants the group to follow them and lead them and their pokemon out of their (orgy filled) community to safety.

Crystal then snaps out of her apparent acid trip realizing, "Now I see!", as we flashback to scenes from early in the episode. "The Lanturns didn't take Togepi and Sandshrew to EAT them..... they took away our pokemon to SAVE them", comments Cris-tal. She then suggests that maybe all pokemon have some kind of hidden sense that tells them when others are in danger. "Especially water pokemon!", chimes in Misty who's never shy to throw in a cheap water pokemon plug.

So Misty commands her pokemon... Staryu, Poliwhirl, and Goldeen.... to follow the Chinchou and the Lanturn out of their little .......... um............ underwater spa. Crystal then tells Totodile and Dragonite to follow them as well. So they all follow the Chinchou and Lanturn out of the bordello thingy and up towards a random point underwater about 20 feet below the ocean surface. Lianne tells everyone that she thinks the Lanturn are letting them go and giving them Togepi and Sandshrew.

Her thoughts are confirmed because at this moment, the chief Lanturn pervert with the mark on its scaly, shiny, chubby side approaches Crystal and Misty giving them their pokemon inside their air bubbles. Misty welcomes the freaky egg thingy back out of its bubble as she goes to free Togepi making it drown (do it!!! For the love of God, do it!!!). But then Misty receives another telekinetic message telling her not to pop the bubble so she then tells it, "...Uhhh... I better not let you out since I never taught you to swim underwater... ", she chuckles to herself in stupidity (Rats!!!). Crystal lets Sandshrew out of its bubble and gives him a nice hug welcoming it back since leaving in the jaws of a Lanturn.

Crystal then swims over to the Lanturn group with the help of Poliwhirl to go over and thank you. "You know.... when we first crashed into the ocean and saw you swimming around us, we thought you were going to hurt us. And I was really frightened when you guys took Sandshrew from me. But now I see you only did it to help us.... and I really can't thank you enough", she says to them. This triggers another weird cry from Lanturn while some of the Chinchou around them call out approvingly, "Chinchou!", sounding like a robot.

Ahhhhhhh...... now I see.... the fat on the Lanturn keeps it from making an appropriate pokemon cry. This probably explains two things.....

Number 1: It explains why there are no fat robots in the world.

Number 2: It explains why Tracey couldn't act like a normal human being in the pokemon world.

But anyway, after Crystal and Misty thank these pokemon for saving their lives and they then hug their new scaly, slimy, and chubby friends whom then all swim back down into the depths apparently for more of their orgies. So after all the goodbye it's time to go until next episode, right?

Aye..... have you been smoking more dope than Crystal on 4:20? Our protagonists have to first reach the surface and then.......... then...... they have to find dry land which won't be easy out in the middle of the ocean. Crystal then asks everyone where they should go from here and Lianne tells her that they have to find dry land.

"But Lianne.... we're in the middle of the ocean... there isn't anything or anyone around for miles!!", responds Justin. When Misty then asks what are they to do, Pikachu quips out a, "Pika pika!!!!", as it spots a raft on the ocean surface which surely has to have people on it and thus Pikachu has Totodile madly swim it up near the raft. Crystal spots the square wooden raft as well and tells everyone that they can regroup on that raft as Justin foolishly claims that its a stroke of luck that they found a raft floating in the middle of the ocean for no reason. As if one of the writers would make it so easy as to have some random raft be floating in the middle of the ocean for the protagonists to find and save their unworthy hides.

Meanwhile, on a very similar looking raft (i. e. the same one if you schmucks haven't figured it out yet), TR's happiness is fading (except for brave lil' Wobbuffet) as Meowth is still trying to fish but he still hasn't caught anything to eat. Thus, Jessie's patience is growing thin...... "Haven't you caught anything yet?", she shouts angrily at the scratch-cat. "You look more like you're sleeping with the fishes", adds James in a somewhat dodgy comment.

Jessie further argues that he's even more incompetent than James and that she oughtta...... But she doesn't finish her statement as Meowth gets a tug on his line and tries to reel it in as he excitedly says, "I caught sometin'.... I caught sometin'" Jessie's and James's faces instantly beam up as James oooh's, "Oooooh! Nice catch, Meowth!" "What delicious seafood delight have you caught for us?", asks Jessie anticipating something to eat while we hear a Wobbuhffet from the blue thing standing and saluting in the far corner.

"I almost got it.... I almost got it!!", states Meowth in beaming joy as their catch is about to come out of the water, "I got aaa........". Meowth then reels in the catch and out of the water pops Pikachu with its breathing apparatus on being held up on its stubby little ankle by Meowth's fishing rod. "Look James.... Meowth caught a Pikachu!", says Jessie which may back the theory that they're after Pikachu to eat it. "Wow..... the seas are turning out some very interesting things lately", adds James.

Jessie tells Meowth to keep fishing to see what else he can find as Wobbuffet continues to salute its gorgeous master. Pikachu then looks curiously at TR and quips to them, "Pika.... pikachu?" Jessie then tells James, "The boss will be so excited to find out that caught a Pikachu!" Meowth then snaps at them that they won't take any of the credit because he's the one that caught Pikachu. Jessie and James get angry at him and Jessie yells, "Don't be a selfish hog, Meowth. Even the most inept fishermen get lucky sometimes.", alluding to James finding hot looking gay guys. "It's not like you get a bite everyday", adds James and that is when Meowth cries out that he got another bite.

J & J look on in shock as they can't believe how good Meowth has suddenly become. "He's a natural born pro!", proclaims James as Jessie asks him what he caught. Meowth grunts out that he doesn't know but that it's a big one and as he struggles to pull out the catch, Totodile can't wait to make its appearance so it leaps up out of the ocean before Meowth can bring up his next catch. It hops onto the wooden raft and does one of its insane dances as a startled TR points out that its a Totodile. Meowth then reels up its next catch to reveal that its............ Crystal???

"I don't believe it!!! Meowth caught a twerp!", states Jessie as part of one of the worst kept secrets thus far in this fanfic series. "We could serve it up as a Botany Bay Twerp o' the Day!!!", adds James putting in a little gay Australian Outback taste into the dialogue. Jessie then thankfully snaps him out of his cannibalistic/straight mood shouting that they can't eat a twerp. At this moment, the rest of the protagonists surface from the depths after going through an adventure in the Lanturn whorehouse. This includes Misty who picks up the evil Togepi whose air bubble bursts when it surfaces.

Cris-tal is still hanging on the fishing rod (GETCHA MIND OUTTA DA GUTTA!) as she takes off her breathing apparatus and gasps, "Phew... that was wild!" She then turns her head and shockingly discovers, "Aaaaaah!........ Team Rocket?" "How'd you end up in the middle of the ocean?", wonders Justin who's riding Dragonite now sporting its patented retro 70s goggles now that its surfaced.

James answers sullenly to him, "The same way we always end up in the middle of nowhere..... by getting blasted off by you twerps!" "WOOOOBUHFFET!", adds Wobbuffet agreeing with its colleague from the corner. "Oh... I see", montonously states a newly brainwashed Misty with Togepi on her head to avoid Togepi's mortal enemy........ Mother Nature. Meowth then suggests that since the twerps are here, they can have a battle to see who gets Sandshrew and Pikachu.

"That's a pretty good idea, Meowth", suggests Jessie. Crystal flips out and splashes at her adversaries, "Are you mad??? We're out in the middle of the ocean.... only the dumbest and crudest type of villain would try to do tha... aaahht's exactly what you are.... aye.. here we go" Jessie lets Arbok come out to battle and Crystal counters with Totodile. Totodile strikes Arbok first with its insanely powerful water gun. The sight of the deadly cobra losing to whacked out little gator steams Jessie. Thus, Jessie yells at it, "Don't stand for that, Arbok!!!! Use your poison sting!"

Totodile dodges Arbok's stingers initially, but when James uglifies the world by calling out Weezing, it tackles Totodile to temporarily stop it from moving around wildly. Misty won't let TR have a break with the 2 on 1 advantage even if Totodile has beaten them before. So she sends her least used pokemon, Goldeen out to battle them.

James tries to have Weezing cut it off with a sludge attack but Misty has Goldeen dodge using agility before it bounces the ugly smoke bomb thingy with a horn attack. Goldeen then follows up with the overused attack on the pokemon cartoon.... the water gun attack. "Arbok! Take a bite out of that fish!", yells Jessie after Weezing fails miserably......... again.

Goldeen looks like Arbok's meal for a second until Totodile recovers and stops it by the tail with a bite attack. After a few moments and encouragement from Jessie and Wobbuffet, Arbok eventually shakes the obsessed Totodile off its tail. But the twerps keep up the pressure as Gyarados is called out by Justin and it uses its ice beam. Jessie yells frantically at Arbok to get out of the way but it is clobbered by Gyarados's ice beam.

James then tells Weezing to use a rapid fire sludge attack and each attack that it lets out somehow manages to hit Totodile, Goldeen, and Gyarados. Lucky ugly mothaf*cka!!!! All the trainers call out to their pokemon to see if they're all right as Lianne then challenges Team Rocket.............. well........ intellectually anyway. "Ummm.... don't you halfwits realize that you're far outnumbered?", she asks them.

James tries to ponders the question for a second until Meowth answers, "Dat don't matter if we can get away!!" "Quick.... let's grab Pikachu and make a swim for it", suggests Jessie as they grab Pikachu and try to swim off as quickly as they can on Arbok while everyone's wiping away the sludge from their pokemon. Crystal yells at them to come back as Misty yells at Poliwhirl to help her swim after TR.

They give chase for a little while but Poliwhirl and Cris-tal are too far behind as Crystal yells out in fear, "Oh no.... it looks like they'll get away!" And it looks like they will escape.... but fate (Nintendo Corp.) will not allow TR to succeed. As they laugh away, out of the water comes a small army of Chinchou and Lanturn that are starting to beat up TR. "Look! The Lanturns came back!", proclaims Misty as Togepi roars in approval at its rescuers.

The Lanturn flip all the members of TR out of the water into the air. And as Pikachu squeaks out of the beautiful grasp of Jessie, the Chinchou use their thundershock attack to fry them while they're out of the water. Crystal catches Pikachu and welcomes it back to her fold as does Sandshrew with a sexually suggestive wink and thumbs up. Justin, Misty, and Lianne then show up on the raft and Justin calls for Crystal to hurry and board on as TR is getting beat on.

TR then floats around after getting their asses handed to them. "I'm totally sizzled!", sobs Meowth as Wobbuffet rising out of deep like a miracle as calls out, "Wobbuhhfet", as it somehow manages to float. They then look up and notice an angry Team Threesome (and Lianne) staring at them on the raft. They get all nervous as they turn around and.............. oh f*ck!!!...... the Lanturn are also pissed. "Yeah.... and we're about to fizzle!", quips James with a look of despair on their faces.

Crystal gets a boost of energy from not smoking a single ounce of weed for a full 8 HOURS...... oh my! She loudly calls for all the electrical pokemon to use a thundershock and the Lanturns, Chinchou, as well as Pikachu zap TR into toast. Crystal then energetically tells Sandshrew to blow them into the stratosphere with a sandstorm which it does. And thus TR get blown away by the gusts from Sandshrew's sandstorm.

"Aaaaaaaaaaah! Team Rocket's fish food agaaaaaaaaaaain!" "Wobbuffet!"

Crystal congratulates all the pokemon on assaulting Team Rocket as Lianne notices how well they all command their pokemon. Justin then asks about how they're going to get back to land but Lianne, being a smartypants, had a plan for that, too! "Don't worry.... I'll use my cell phone which I kept in this waterproof case to call on another one of my helicopters to rescue us!", she assures Justin.

Lianne paid attention in school kiddies.......... so stay in school!!!!

The group then turns its attention towards the Lanturns and Chinchou that rescued Pikachu. Crystal takes this second opportunity to suck up to these chubby, scaly, and shiny pokemon for rescuing "her" Pikachu. Misty adds that they're all grateful for them and says that its fascinating how they saw that the threesome was in trouble. Yeah.... they were in a huge amount of trouble given how many times the twerps have actually failed to save Pikachu................ ZERO!

Justin then suggests to Misty that maybe the Lanturns are the guardians of the ocean and she seems appeased by either his statement or his unending charm. Crystal then decides to correct him by saying, "I'd say... that they're the light of the ocean", which charms Misty even more. Hmm........

We then skip forward in time and all of a sudden.......... gasp............. the helicopter's there already with another pilot. "Lianne! You're alive!!", shouts the pilot in the extra helicopter. "A simple crash can't keep me or my helicopter business from sinking", laughs Lianne triumphantly not knowing that she was saved by a freaky egg. Lianne sucks up to the Lanturn and Chinchou one last time as they shout their catch cries back to her as the twerps wave to them as they board the helicopter.

Before they fly up out of reach though, Crystal tells them, "You all take care of each other", which sounds very dodgy to all of us since we know that Lanturns and Chinchou definitely "take care of each other" in that underwater whorehouse of scaly, shiny, chubby type pokemon and their subordinates. And so, Crystal and co. gain valuable guardians for the ocean as the Lanturns and Chinchou look up at the helicopter with respect for fellow drug addict Cris-tal and almighty future world leader Togepi. Then we notice the helicopter carrying the threesome, Lianne, Sandshrew and Pikachu, future ruler Togepi, et al flying off away from the horny electrical fish as their copter heads back towards Vermilion City.

So thanks to Togepi's telekinetical control of its host and other pokemon, it was able to keep this capitalistic crusade of Nintendo Corp. to keep on trucking. And with Togepi using its evil control more and more often, it would appear as if its getting ready to assume its destiny as world dominator. And that is what its evil and eggy will try to accomplish very, very soon. Is the end nigh??? We'll know soon enough....