Dragonitemare presents

Pokemon Crystal series

Ep. 23

Our ever so beloved twerps are on the road to Saffron City on a crystal clear evening (no PUN-ishment intended). Whoa!!!! NO WAY!!! You'd think they were headed to northern Alaska. In any event, they are walking down this paved walkway and they're on it for once and for a good reason...........

So they don't get lost for the 8174573097438th time. That's why...... and yo mama likes it rough!!!! In fact, I was with her in bed last ni....... (hits self with mallet) Anyway.... after yours truly goes on a needless rampage for no reason, Crystal, Misty, and Justin are all commanding each other what they should do.......... just like a threesome. Justin sighs, "This road is sooooooo boring, can't we take go into the woods?" "Sa-shrew", agrees the exhausted sand rodent being that it's carrying Pikachu. "Oh no... absolutely not!!" "Why not?", pouts Justin like a little kid. "Because every time we try and cut through the

woods, we get lost!", she calmly explains as if she was trippin' and probably is.

"And who's fault is that??", shouts Justin as Crystal looks ahead stupefied. Misty replies, "It's yours Mr. Christopher Columbus!!" "Oh yeah", sighs Justin dejected. Crystal, being the peaceful hippie, tries to assuage everyone. She tells them that they might find something on this path that make the trip more interesting.... even more interesting than the woods.

So we flash forward to a couple of hours later and the threesome beams as they stumble upon somewhat of a shopping plaza in the middle of this path. They are all kinds of stores and food places that they all browse at. Justin proclaims that the place is jumping and then suggests that they shack up for the night and then enjoy the place tomorrow. But party animals Crystal and Misty disobey the elder pokemon trainer and plan to enjoy the place tonight. "That's the second bad idea you've had tonight!!!", shouts Misty as Justin groans in sorrow. Crystal notices all the pokemon that are here too and then proclaims that they should all check it out. "Pika-pikachu!!", punctuates the yellow rodent.

<cue intro>

We pan around to see this punk haired kid with a Sandslash as well as a little 5 yeah old with a Smoochum. There's a kid juggling three Voltorbs as well as some kind of Quagsire slide where kids are sliding down the backs of Quagsires. ........ ????????? ......... hey don't ask me, the pokemon world is weird like that. Crystal brags about how she bought all of these new clothes, a new pair of shoes, and a new purse. A shocked Justin asks her if she could afford all that.... but with Crystal's drug dealing, she gets plenty of cash to blow. Apparently, Misty has followed Cris-tal's footsteps because she also has a bagful of things that she bought.

They are all talking about all the shopping they did as Justin quips sarcastically, "Oh wow.... shopping........ bring me back a 10 cent souvenir", as he could care less about the bullsh*t that Crystal and Misty are talking about. "I wish there was something I could buy", he moans. And just then, he's somehow able to hear some big mean fat guy yelling from afar. He says, "Huh?", and goes over to where he smells the chubbo (no, not Tracey). "You're store is pathetic!! You couldn't even break in a single reasonable profit for this shopping center!", screams the fat guy.

"But I...." replies the girl who is then cut off. "No buts..... I should shut this place down now but I'll give you a week to get your act together... not that it could ever happen... And another thing, don't be ridiculous about making that fat free ice cream, it will never sell....... hah hah hah!!" As he leaves, Crystal and Misty join Justin to see that the girl running the little ice cream parlor which doesn't seem to have any customers unlike all the other thrift stores. "That guy has some nerve belittling that woman like that", states Misty being the big girl that would fight like a guy for anyone unfairly insulted, "... doesn't he, Justin?", but as she turns, she finds Justin missing. Misty looks for him and sees Justin zipping up to the counter a la Brock as he gets his game on with the pretty girl.

"Hey... that guy has no business talking down to you like that.", states Justin assertively. "Huh?", asks the confused girl as Justin grabs her hand continuing to talk faster and faster. "He should be praising you for making such delicious ice cream... which makes total sense coming from such a pretty girl. You know, if you just let me, I'll stay with you and we can live happily ever after just making a whole batch of new ice cream flavors. Especially those fat free flavors you're trying to conjure up..... I don't need any fat in my ice cream", he utters before Misty has seen enough. "And I DON'T NEED to deal with another Brock...... so let's go!!!", she yells pinching his ear as Togepi laughs viciously at him.

Crystal then approaches emitting a sweatdrop embarrassed by Justin's sudden actions. "Uh pardon me for my friend... my name is Crystal... and this is Pikachu and Sandshrew with me. We couldn't help but notice you had some sort of problem.", she remarks to the hot looking young woman. She replies, "Oh I am having some problems with my ice cream parlor. If I don't find a way to get more customers soon, my business will be shut down."

Crystal hmmm's as she hears the woman explains that she's tried all different flavors and ideas but nothing has worked. Crystal though doesn't feel sorry enough to stay for another one of those every 5 minute adventures that Ash usually had saying she wished there was something she could do. But Justin........ let's say......... feels a little differently and decides to help out the woman. "Don't worry.... we'll help you try to sell some ice cream", he says as Misty huh's in confusion. He continues, "It's late now, so we're going to settle in for the night and then come

back tomorrow morning to help you." "Oh thank you!", says the upset woman whom Justin is trying to play, "Before you all go, my name is Mel and I'm really greatful for all of you to help me... even if your ideas don't work."

"No problem", sighs Justin in adoration as Misty looks on in disgust that Justin thinks that someone is prettier than she is. But they still leaving to shack up for the night as a threesome. What they do during that night in their not so big tent, I could not tell you. But before the threesome goes to bed, another threesome is still up and active. Yep..... it's Team Rocket and they've just completed a major accomplishment.

"Congratulations, you're hired to work at my pokemon shop!", announces a fat middle-aged man with a goatee as we go around the place to see all of the pokemon that are caged by the evil capitalist pig that's caging these pokemon just like your neighborhood pet shop. We then see that Jessie is grateful for the guy to give her an opportunity to work in a place with a ton of pokemon. "We won't let you down", adds James as the fat owner guy notes that he's sure that they're upbeat, dramatic personality and endless charm will get him a ton of customers. Meowth then takes time-out to tell him, "Da most charmin part about me is my charm!!"

The owner announces that he's so tickled by Meowth's humor that he is just a great comedian. Team Rocket beams as the owner tells them to get to work cleaning the store before he waddles his fat ass out of the store. Jessie then beams some more as she schemes that while they can make money pocketing the earnings from selling pokemon, they can wait for the rare ones to come in and they'll steal them for the boss. Wobbuffet pops up to happily assert its presence as Jessie replies to it, "I said the ones that are rare, not the ones that are theirs." "WOOOOBBBUUHHH!!!", shouts the patiently pleased blue blob as its sucked back into its pokeball. "Now let's open up business!!!", exclaims Meowth. James has the propensity to reply, "Hmmm... I could decorate the front awning with some lilac petals. Ooooh! I could also call a painter to make the decor more welcome."

.............. Oh sure Rocketshippers.... he really isn't gay..........

But Meowth scratches him making him squirm and cover his face. "I don't mean dat!!! Let's get down to our business!!", says Meowth. "Oh..... right", gasps an embarrassed James. A young girl at this moment asks them if they have any pokemon that she could look at. With her clothes are worn really high up and her hair done, she looks all but about three years old making us wonder about what kind of neglectful parents let her run around a huge plaza late at night in the middle of nowhere like that. But TR only cares about the money just like most businesses. So they go to the girl all dressed up as very fashionable pokemon shop employees complete with the matching designer glasses asking her if they can be of assistance.

Now the next morning, Mel is doing her cleaning at the ice cream parlor as Justin and Misty come in to greet her. Togepi also arrives in Misty's arms to suck some energy out of the beautiful body of Mel. "Hello.... how are you feeling today?", asks Justin with a beaming look on his face. The intimidated young lady admits that she feels fine but she then asks them where their friend is. She does have a good point though...

Where is our main heroine, Cris-tal? She doesn't appear with her partners and she said she would be there to help Mel that morning. So where is she? Well she eventually appears with heavy eyelids being flanked by Pikachu, Sandshrew, and........... Cyndaquil??? Well now...... what could possibly be the reason that Crystal would have Cyndaquil come with her for a morning stroll? There wasn't a pokemon battle out there and it's not like Cyndaquil pops out of its pokeball all the time.

Maybe she didn't have a lighter......

She greets Mel as the young woman proclaims, "There you are! How are you this morning?" And in an infamously dodgy reply, Crystal delightfully says, "Aaaaaahh.... I feel so good!" "Shrew!", adds Sandshrew who joined Crystal in her.......... activities... as did Pikachu and Cyndaquil. Misty asks Mel what she wants to do and she figured that her ice cream wasn't good enough since she doesn't get too many customers.

"Don't worry, Mel....... I'm sure your ice cream is just as sweet as you are.", responds a very lustful Justin. Mel seems stunned by the showmanship of this active supporting character rivaled only by the king of horny sidekicks, Brock. She then suggests, "Well maybe you should all try my ice cream and frozen yogurt and see what you think." "Cool", states Justin, "I'll try some of the fudge ribbon ice cream.... it's my favorite flavor!", he whispers to her as she nervously chuckles. "We'll go for the low fat frozen yogurt!", proclaims Crystal speaking for Misty and her pokemon.

In an unusual play on words, Justin sighs light-heartedly, "It figures that you'd all try to watch your figure." But a smart-ass Misty warns him about his playa ways, "If I were you, I'd watch your mouth", as Togepi then beckons its own warning. "Yes young man...... you'd better watch what you'd say about me if you want to survive when I assume position of world leader. Mwah-hah!!"

Ah.. that Togepi.... always planning it's world dominance... what else is new. So when is Togepi plotting to take over the world anyway??? The answer is sooner than you think....

But in any event, Mel gets our threesome down to less seriously business as she watches them try the ice cream. After Misty jokes about never having ice cream for breakfast before, they start eating their usual morning ice cream. And what d'ya know........... they love it. Pikachu first, then the threesome gleem happily about how rich-tasting the ice cream is. "Move over Haagen-Dazs!", proclaims Crystal.

As they're tasting their early morning ice cream, Justin curiously wonders asking Mel, "Your ice cream is great, why isn't anyone buying it??" "Maybe our ice cream parlor has been around so long that everyone has become bored with all our old flavors that they've stopped coming to my place", suggests Mel. "Then you have to create a new flavor!!", immediately answers Justin to which the girls think its a good idea. Justin then suggests that she try some berry flavored ice cream but Mel says that she already has included all the nearby fruits that are grown.

The twerps think it over as they try to think of what could be Mel's ice cream's new flavor. Misty asks her what areas are nearby and maybe one of those areas have some kind of fruit but Mel replies that there isn't any kind of idea that's growing around the area. She adds that there is even a beach nearby this route and you can't go any further than that. The threesome looks stumped for a moment until Justin pops up like a mad scientist with a new invention.

"The beach....", he states, "Are there any trees on these beaches??" Mel says that there are some and she wonders why he cares. Well... he cares cuz he wants some ass. But anyway, he explains to her that the trees on these beaches should have Grade A Vermilia style coconuts. That way she can use the coconuts in her new ice cream flavors. "Hey... that's a great idea", says Crystal as Sandshrew agrees with her. Mel suggests its worth a try as Misty then proudly proclaims that they should go get a bunch of coconuts as soon as possible. Togepi then beckons its energy to try and convince Misty to bring all the coconuts to feed her rightful ruler Togepi.

Oh.... that damn Togepi..... even our food isn't safe!!!!!

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon???

It's Umbreon........................................ "Aahhhhhhhhmmm"

We see the threesome has used the commercial break wisely and they have already gathered a bunch of coconuts. So did they do all the hard labor of going to the beach and gathering the pile of coconuts that they have collected?? Obviously not.... they had the much faster Dragonite go to the beach carrying Kabutops and Bulbasaur who used their labor to gather the coconuts. And in one of the emptiest displays of affection ever, Crystal and Justin thank their respective pokemon for helping them get all of the coconuts that Mel needed and then they are all called back into their pokeballs.

Hmmm..... some people like Justin can be so cruel and would do anything just to get a girl. Now I can't comprehend why Crystal would have so little feeling towards a pokemon like Bulbasaur who she just enslaved to help Mel gather her coconuts........ eh.... must be the drugs. So now that the...... ahem...... coconuts are all present in the room (some of them inside the shirts),

...... Ladies and gentlemen.... I, Dragonitemare, apologize for that lack of maturity that took place inside those quotation marks.

With that settled, the coconuts are there and Mel then explains how she is going to mix the coconuts' milk into her ice cream. She calls it, "The new Coconut Tropical Bongo Special." But she then explains that the coconut has to be crushed by the machine that she displays to the threesome a la Vanna White and she then says that she'll need all the help she can get to crush those coconuts.

There is a long, thin lever that all of them have to pull (GETCHA MIND OUTTA DA GUTTA!) as they place the coconut into the crushing part of the manual labor device (it's not computerized like every other fricking thing made in this world today). "Ready?", asks Mel as the twerps are all ready to pull the lever. "I'm ready whenever you are...", says Justin blushing in a somewhat dodgy statement. They all pull away at the lever...... And pull............ And pull......... and pull.......... And pull................. but to no avail.

A sweating Crystal quips, "I think we're losing to the coconuts!" "No kidding!", replies Justin who is used to losing a few sets of "coconuts" in his lifetime. Mel looks a little nervous that she can't break open the coconut. After all, if she can't open a lousy little coconut, all that she'll lose is her job that has been her lifeline even before she was born!!!!

So it looks like Mel is in a dilemma as she quips, "Our strength alone isn't enough to crack those coconuts." But she appears to be saved as Misty suggests that maybe they can use some of their pokemon to help. Mel looks lustfully hopeful as Crystal proclaims to Misty that she has a great idea. Misty then smiles very brightly towards Crystal as she gets this weird feeling again while looking at Crystal........ ah yeah!!!! It may soon become a true threesome after all!!!

Mel also likes the idea and declares to the twerps to let out some of their pokemon to help. Justin begins by throwing out his Nidoqueen, Crystal then calls out Bulbasaur and Noctowl together, and Misty sends out Poliwhirl with its tadpole-like muscles to help out as well. Psyduck also pops out to lend a wing and tries to use its wings to pull the coconut crusher's lever. But the lever is high off the ground so all Psyduck can do is hang off of it and strain its big round head trying to pull it. "You'd better stop before you strain your head too much...", quips an embarrassed Misty.

Everyone that is able to pull the lever then, they all line up ready to pull. And then on Mel's signal they use all their might just to crush a f*ckin coconut. But this coconut is tough as the force of everything pulling the lever still can't crack this coconut. It's quite funny hearing all the pokemon straining their muscles and using all their force. We see Noctowl as all that cocaine is getting to its body as the strain is magnifying its effects. Nidoqueen roar as she pulls the lever is also quite funny and irritating at the same time as it raaaaaar's though Poliwhirl sounds funnier as it pulls with its stringy tadpole arms squirming, "Pooooolliiiiiii!"

But alas, they keep pulling as something begins to give which makes everyone motivated to pull harder. But as they finish pulling, it's the lever that breaks and not the coconut which makes us wonder what the hell that coconut's shell is made of. Probably made of part of Ash's skull or something.... Mel mopes as she believes that nothing could crack those shells. "We need something with mega-powerful pincers like a Pinsir or an enormous pair of pliers", she says. Justin hasn't given up on playin' Mel despite Misty's presence assuring her, "Don't worry, we'll find a way to crack that coconut", as he rubs her shoulder.

Okay..... a playa he is but smooth?? I'd say he's still got some jagged edges. Gotta work those out before he finally goes off to college like he said earlier in the series.

"Hoooooooh.... but I don't if we'll ever find anything that can break these coconuts", answers a somewhat intimidated Mel. It is then that Crystal pops an idea into her chemical induced head. No, it's not a pointless f*cked up idea but it's actually relevant to the lovely Mel's dilemma. "I have an idea", she proclaims. Misty curiously asks, "You do?", as Togepi's dark energy has induced Misty's energy very deeply at this point. Crystal confirms that she does have an idea and asks everyone to excuse her and she promises to come back.

While Crystal is off doing........ uh......... well...... make of it what you will, Team Rocket is out in the back of the pokemon store hatching their latest plot. They are all laughing as Jessie is getting everything ready for their scheme. "Ready to take the reigns, Meowth?", asks Jessie. Meowth replies, "All ready!", as he is saddled inside Victreebel's mouth (GETCHA MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTAS!!!) as a couple of Yanmas and about three or four Ledybas are tied to reigns that Meowth is holding. Victreebel is dragging some sort of caged wagon behind it that probably designed to catch pokemon. (It's a lot like their trap in the Yanma episode.)

"Heh heh heh.... wit dis ploy, pokemon all ova da plaza will flock to us into our wagon", laughs Meowth. "Yes Meowth, especially with the succulent choice of exotic pokemon chow that's inside the wagon to bait them", states James in the

gayest fashion possible. Jessie laughs before concluding, "Thanks to this pokemon store, we have all the pokemon we need to keep this plot moving. Now pokemon of all types will be flocking to us." "Woooooobbbuuhhhffet!", adds our blue hero Wobbuffet with a salute. Jessie despondently answers to it, "With you, pokemon will be scared away from us...", as she sucks her Wobbuffet (I'M NOT SAYING IT AGAIN!!!) back into the pokeball after another, "Wooooobbb!!", statement from Wobbuffet.

We shift back to the ice cream parlor where they're still looking to tear through that coconut and Justin looks to tear through Mel's clothing. "I think that ice cream I have is finally coming back to attack my stomach...", groans Misty as Togepi sits in front of her stomach laughing and most likely causing her stomachache. Justin analyzes her statement as he looks disapprovingly at Togepi and then he reiterates, "I guess you should take the Death by Chocolate ice cream flavor more seriously." He looks at Togepi probably talking telepathically to the freaky egg thingy, "What kind of evil baby drone gives their loving master a stomachache you evil thing???!!!" Togepi chirps back, "It's just a telepathic difficulty I'm having trying to get some of Misty's nourishment. I would never hurt my subject on purpose (.......... suckeeeerrr....)."

As much of a player as he is... sadly, he can't escape the clutches of the all-powerful hypnotic Togepi. "Hey.... I'm back!!", yells Crystal with Pikachu, Sandshrew, and ............ Cyndaquil again???!! Hmmph.... I guess she can screw those expensive Zippo lighters now. Crystal tries to pass off Cyndaquil's presence by asking the chubby fire mouse, "You really enjoy exercising with us, don't you?", and Cyndaquil answers with its personal squeal of approval. "You took long enough", jokes Misty about how it should have only taken her a few minutes to make a phone call to get a pokemon but she took an hour.

"Yeah.... but I have a pokemon here that can crack those shells", she announces. "Really..... who?", wonders Justin along with the rest of us as Crystal throws out the pokeball which reveals..............

"Keeeeekkooooook kooooookkiiiiieeee!!"

Yep...... it's Kingler. Hooray for Kingler. "You mentioned that it would take a pokemon with very powerful pincers so I borrowed Kingler from Prof. Oak", explains Cris-tal towards Mel. "That's a great idea, Crystal", says Justin in fascination of her intelligence. She thanks Justin and then explains to Kingler sounding like a cheerleader that they need its strength to crush the coconuts that are on the deck they are all on. She asks if it is ready and Kingler replies, "Keeekkkooooooo keeeekkoooo!!", that it's ready.

So one coconut is placed in Kingler's bigger pincer and Kingler begins to crush with all its might. It sweats its crabby body for a moment as do the threesome, Mel, and Pikachu who's on the back of a very tense looking Sandshrew. And after ten long seconds of Kingler versus the coconut, CRACK!!!! the coconut breaks apart like a crumbling donut and drops milk and coconut shell pieces into a big container. "It cracked!", proclaims Crystal as they all shout in jubilation for finally cracking that coconut. The funny part is that Misty dances in celebration with Crystal, Justin with Mel, and Pikachu with Sandshrew.... ahh.... Good times... good times.

"Do you think Kingler can crack the rest of these coconuts??", asks Mel. Crystal answers that there shouldn't be a problem and promptly asks Kingler if it's a problem. But Kingler will do anything to get a vacation from Prof. Oak so it tells Crystal in a kooookeee-keeeekkoooo way that it can do the job. So we see everyone rounding up the coconuts as Crystal gives them to Kingler so it can crack their shells damn good. "Awaaaaaaayy!!!", shouts Meowth ordering the pokemon pulling their wagon to round up some plaza pokemon as J & J are hiding in the back of the wagon ready to trap all the pokemon that are foolish enough to be lured into it.

Off go the Ledybas and Yanmas that are pulling the wagon. The ride goes fairly well at the beginning which makes James to make another hilariously campy comment again. And he's already got a listful of quotes in our archives. After Jessie

comments on James's well built wagon saying, "Wow James.... I have to hand it to you, the ride on this wagon is very smooth!", James quips gleefully, "Yeah... smooth as a baby's bottom."

As usual..... make of it what you will.

But when the wagon pullers have fully accelerated. They end up going too fast as they speed around the plaza to everybody's shock. The pokemon try to follow them but the wagon is going too fast for Jessie and James to catch any pokemon. "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!", screams Meowth as he begs the wagon pullers to slow down. It then crashes into a couple of displays spilling glass and food all over the place. "This isn't so smooth!!", shouts Jessie trying to hang on for dear life. "I didn't ask for a roller coaster ride, Meowth!", squeals James. "Don't look at meeeeeeee!", screams Meowth as Victreebel screams as it is being helpless pulled all over the plaza.

Back at the ice cream parlor, Crystal counts the last coconut being crushed by Kingler. Mel then goes over to the container of crushed coconuts and says that it is great and that she can make a great coconut creme ice cream flavor. She thinks for about .00002 seconds before coming up with Coconut Scream as its official name. "I just have to process it through my recipe for awhile.......... huh?", starts Mel until they hear a loud rumbling noise and some yelling going through the plaza. So the twerps instinctively go to check it out.

When they go around to the front of the ice cream parlor, they notice an out of control wagon with Team Rocket inside of it. All they can do when they see it, is gasp out loud in shock as Justin quips, "Oh my Lord!" The bugs go ahead as they end up making Victreebel, Meowth and the wagon crash into a tree spilling TR into a pile and all the food escapes and the pokemon that were after it all chow down on the morsels in scattered areas.

"Well this plan certainly came to a sudden halt", painfully mutters Jessie. Then, their boss from the pokemon store suddenly shows up and starts to yell at them about how they let his pokemon do irresponsible things and that they have no control over any of his pokemon and other needless blabbering. This goes to show of course that the owner is a greedy heartless thug who is no better than Giovanni or the most evil TR member in the world whomever that may be. The manager then fires all of them just 12 hours after he hired them making TR gasp with despair.

Guess you couldn't see that coming??

"This is horrible", mutters Jessie. "We won't even get paid money or be able ta steal any of dese fine pokemon", states a strewn out Meowth. "Hey... look on the bright side. Things could always get worse", says James making little sense but then Crystal shouts at the fallen trio. "Surprise, surprise, surprise!", she says. TR looks at the twerpy group and they feel even more tired and hopeless. "I think we're in some serious trouble...", says Jessie. James then adds instinctively, "Well while it's here, might as well be double..." And it is that something about the motto that gets them all rejuvenated because they quickly zip back to their feet looking totally content as if nothing ever happened to them.

Ah........ the good ol' motto....

"Hah... To protect the world from devastation"
"To unite all peoples within our nation"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love"
"To extend our reach to the stars above"
"Jessie"
"James"
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight"
"Meowth, that's right"

Meowth then schemes, "Heh heh.... you're right, Jimmy-boy. Tings are gonna get better, cuz we don't need to steal dose stupid pokemon store pokemon, we can simply steal San..... hey... what is that pleasant smell?" "Smells like something tropical", answers James who's been known to have a nose for tropical things. Their eyes then all light up as they notice the abundance of ice cream that is displayed at the counter.

"James.... look at all the ice cream that this joint has", notes Jessie. Meowth chimes in, "I gotta admit... dese flavas are top of da line. Aaaaahhhhh, I can taste 'em in my mouth already!" They all drool and dream over the different ice cream flavors such as choco-raspberry pineapple mint, apricot-swirled vanilla, and sushi strawberry with seaweed.

Sushi strawberry w/ seaweed??? Hmm.. well it is Japanese anime. And dem wacky Japanese create some f*cked up ideas, even for ice cream.

"Know what I tink?? I say we take out a pint or two or two hundred for us on da twoips!", suggests Meowth. "Aaaah... great idea!", says James who's still drooling. "I scream, you scream, Team Rocket screams for ice cream!", they all say together as they run for the ice cream as Wobbuffet pops up beside them screaming, "Woooooobbbuuhhhffet!", for ice cream. Mel gasps as she looks at TR about to raid her ice cream.

But Justin wants to be Mel's hero and he wants to be a bully to TR just like all twerps are. He bullies them, "That ice cream isn't yours, you aren't getting any. Raticate.... stop them!!!" Justin thus throws out Raticate who aims its hyper fang at Jessie (who wouldn't) but misses the best parts of her body biting into her arm shoulder area. Jessie screams in pain as James and Meowth watch in horror of her pain. James shrieks as Meowth decides to help Jessie and use its fury swipes on Raticate. But Raticate is ordered to use a quick attack which blasts Meowth against the wall leaving it dizzy. "Aaaaahhhh.... dat was more like a too quick attack!", mutters a woozy Meowth.

Justin boasts, "That will show you three for calling this lady's ice cream parlor a joint." "That's right!", chips in Crystal for no real reason. "Your not going to bully us around like you normally do, twerps!!! We want that ice cream!", states James in campy fashion. But Justin replies that they aren't stealing anything and has Raticate use its bubblebeam on TR. The bubbles pelt TR like raindrops as they shout, "Ow! Ooh! Ow! Ooh!", and even a short, "Eee!", from James.

But James regains his campy style quickly to have already present Victreebel to use it razor leaf on Raticate as Justin shouts at the rat to get out of the way. Raticate dodges the first barrage of leaves but James is seemingly stimulated getting in such a heated battle. Thus, he implies Victreebel to keep up the razor leaf barrage which does get to Raticate to the concern of Justin. Crystal then decides to gang up on TR and then asks Kingler if it wants to battle TR which it does since it wants to stay away from Prof. Oak's house of sick debauchery.

Crystal yells for Kingler to use its bubble attack which tags Victreebel and then TR who go back into their "Ow! Ooh! Ow! Ooh!" phase. Raticate is then ordered to use tackle and the hardcore Raticate happens to tackle every single member of TR present into a nice, neat, tidy pile. Crystal then says about her nemesis, Jessie, and the rest of TR, "Time to take out the trash! Ok Kingler..... use your crabhammer!" The big crab koooo-keeeeee's as it winds up its rock solid claw before hitting TR much like slammin' Sammy Sosa. And in the end.... TR complains about how they didn't get a chance to have any ice cream.

"Dat place and dose twoips gave us the cold shoulda!", PUN ishes Meowth with a patiently happy and saluting Wobbuffet sailing right beside it. "I didn't even get to try a free sample", cries Jessie.

"We're blasting off agaaaaaaaaaiiiiin!"......... and at the last moment, a very faint "Woooobb!"

Back at the ice cream parlor, many groups of customers have suddenly flocked to try Mel's new ice cream flavor of Coconut Scream. As we hear some of the brief great reviews from the customers about the ice cream, we go back to the threesome and Mel as they view the sudden success of Mel's business. "The new coconut ice cream is a huge hit, Mel!", proclaims Misty. "I couldn't do it without you guys!", replies Mel. "I was just glad to help!", says Justin grabbing Mel's hands and looking into her eyes as Mel shows a nervous sweatdrop.

"You're talking like you need help", sneers Misty as Togepi beckons out its evil energy again. "You should really be thanking Kingler!", remarks Crystal towards the crabby pokemon that single-handedly was able to save Mel's job. Mel thanks Kingler and then asks Crystal if she could keep Kingler to help her make some more of her coconut ice cream.

But Cris-tal is not like Ash, who just gives away his pokemon on a whim. Knowing that Kingler is not really hers, she tells Mel that she can't give her Kingler telling her that it actually belongs to someone else. Mel then apologizes for being so insincere and thinking about only her own needs. Although without Kingler, eventually she'll run out of coconuts and people will hate her business again and she'll be fired. Thus.... she's screwed anyway.

Cris-tal then tells Mel that they have to get going towards Saffron city so she can get away from the public eye and smoke another blunt. Mel then says okay and thanks the twerps one more time for their help. Sandshrew welcomes her back shouting, "Saaaashreeeeeeewwww!", with Pikachu nuzzling it lovingly on his back. Crystal returns Kingler to its pokeball to meet its cruel fate at the end of the fanfic. Mel then waves good-bye as they do their typical walking away scene.

But before we leave our lovable threesome, we see them stop at a videophone to talk to Prof. Oak. "Hey Professor Oak", greets Crystal. Oak greets Crystal and asks her if Kingler helped at all. Crystal replied that Kingler not only helped, but that it saved the day. "Oh..... that's great to hear", comments Oak who is sounding like he's masturbating. Crystal guesses that she should send Kingler back to Professor Oak despite the many warnings that Kingler tried to give to Crystal to let it stay. "Ok.... that's fine", says Professor Oak who plays off the joy he has in getting his favorite crab pokemon back.

That dirty, dirty old geezer.

So then, Kingler's pokeball goes into the teleporter and Kingler is back in its little ranch of horrors while Crystal gets a pokeball back containing an unknown pokemon inside. "Thanks Professor", says Crystal while Kingler pops back up at Professor Oak's place. We then notice that dirty lusty Muk charge up to Kingler. The confused crab desperately waves its claw at Muk probably to plead with Muk not to hump him. But Muk is too horny to listen and it welcomes back Kingler.

"It looks like we're all glad to have Kingler back. It's such an important part of our ranch. Ha ha ha", says the dirty Professor. Misty then quips, "It's like Kingler never even left home", unknowingly insulting the coconut crushing crab. The threesome then enjoy a huge laugh with Old Man Oak and Togepi who evilly beckons its dark energy to keep control of everyone. We now leave them to try and make their way towards Saffron City where Crystal will challenge their psychic friend Sabrina to a gym battle.

But before that can happen..... judgment day for the freaky eggy thingy will come in one form or another.