Dragonitemare presents

Pokemon Crystal series

Ep. 25

We begin with a recap of our last episode... and oh boy did a lot of sh*t go on in the last episode. The threesome & co. were led to the Saffron City gym by Togepi who was lured to the gym by dark energy it was seeking. There, Togepi was eggnapped by Team Rocket who was hatching a plan to make it evil. They also had the gym leader Sabrina as well.

But it was not Jessie and James who kidnapped Togepi and Sabrina. Rather, it was another TR duo of Butch and Cassidy. However, their plan backfired when it was revealed that Togepi was already an evil force (of course.... duh!). And it would appear that Togepi would begin its reign of terror over the pokemon world until nature saw this abomination taking place and had Togepi evolve into the much more harmless Togetic. From there, Togetic helped the heroes and Sabrina defeat Butch and Cassidy and save the Saffron City Gym....... and the world.

Now that Crystal has seen the awesome power of Sabrina's psychic pokemon, she is now at the gym ready to take on Sabrina to try and win her second Kanto League gym badge. And well what's this here.... they're already lined up opposite each other almost ready to start the battle. "I just want to thank you all again for saving my gym from those Team Rocket fiends", reminds Sabrina with Kadabra and Espeon flanking her. "That's no problem.... it's apparently my job to beat those fiends. Now it's my job to beat you and win another gym badge. I should tell you I won my very first gym battle."

Sabrina starts to talk about how that really doesn't mean anything and that she doesn't plan on losing to a novice like her. But then Espeon sees something that looks like one of Sabrina's toys in her toy collection. It squints its eyes and walks over towards the side door to make sure its seeing what it thinks it's seeing. Espeon just sees this ball that is bouncing away from the gym and decides to be an obedient pokemon that retrieves all its master's lost belongings.

Thus, it runs out the door and into the streets of Saffron City with everyone unaware that Espeon left. Espeon must've had a acid tripping session with Cris-tal last night. Sabrina then telekinetically levitates Cris-tal's drug laden backpack and gets it off of her. "Still confident about beating me, Crystal?", coldly says Sabrina. Misty and Justin are sitting behind Crystal to coach her among......... well............ other things.

"Oh my..... Sabrina certainly is ready for this challenge. I just hope Crystal is ready for this challenge Misty", says Justin who then notices that Misty isn't paying attention, "Uhhhhhhh.... Misty? Misty???" Misty is busy with Togetic spiking up its hair into a new trendy 2002 look. "There you go..... now you're better looking than ever", says Misty. Togetic then chirps, "Toge-trriic!", before Justin gets Misty's attention. "Misty.... we should be paying attention to Crystal's battle", says Justin disappointed in the young lady. "Oh.... sorry! It does look like she's definitely ready", states Misty yelling out, "Espeon has even disappeared and is probably waiting to attack from out of nowhere."

"Huh?", asks Crystal, "But the match didn't even begin yet." "Yeah", adds Sabrina, "and my Espeon is right... her....... uhhh... Espeon?", she calls it out as she realizes it's not there. "You don't know where Espeon is?", asks Justin as Espeon has probably headed towards the next city by now. "No", replies Sabrina who then calls out for Espeon to come towards her. So everything gets all dramatic as we now have a new mystery on her hands.

<cue intro>

The attention now shifts towards our friendly yet evil heroes at Team Rocket. They are all walking through the outskirts of Saffron City as it is apparently they got some kind of message that Togepi is no longer the ruler of the world. That doesn't mean that they're feeling all too well. "I haven't been this bored in a long time", complains Meowth. "Just walking around this forest has been the dullest experience in my life", adds Jessie as Wobbuffet pops up with a bright smiling salute. "WOOOOOOOBBBUUHHFFET!", it shouts with that patiently pleased smile on its face. "Just because this forest is dull doesn't mean your automatically sharp", smirks Jessie sucking Wobbuffet back into the pokeball.

James then gets one of those ideas one only gets by being homosexual. "Hey everyone, I've got an idea to make things more exciting", he announces. Meowth hilariously replies back, "Dis bettah not be one of your cabaret sing-a-longs!"

.....................................

.....................................

..................................... I need say nothing.... that was pretty much self-explanatory.

James then continues, "No Meowth, I mean if we close our eyes and just take deep breaths, we get to have some fresh air. It will reinvigorate us and then if we use our imagination and think of villainous things, then we'll all probably feel better." But this idea does not make Jessie feel better and thus, she yells at James, "That's your idea??!! After working me up like that??", she then groans as she and Meowth slam him with mallets.

"Owwwww", moans James as Jessie then stands over him (hmmmm) saying, "Maybe that will get the useful part of your brain finally working." "Well all I was trying to do was make this stupid walk less boring!", yells James as they all begin to argue. While they're arguing, who is to pop up but Sabrina's Espeon whom stops to look for the ball or its way back to the gym (or the way to the nearest Espeon strip club). It turns its head a couple different directions before stopping to watch the fine asses of TR as they continue to argue without seeing Espeon.

But Espeon has seen enough Team Rocket ass as apparently they're not its type and it begins to wander away in search of whatever. But before Espeon can walk away, Team Rocket stops fighting over nothing for a moment to realize that they just saw an Espeon. "Huh?", they all wonder as they notice Espeon walk away. "Wasn't that an Espeon?", notes Jessie. "Yeah...", answers Meowth, "And dere is sometin familiar about dat thing. Hmmmm..." And Meowth begins to think and remembers back to last episode during Togepi's short-lived power trip when he noticed that same Espeon next to the gym leader Sabrina.

"Daaaaaaah... dat's da same Espeon from dat psycho girl's gym", says Meowth becoming excited now.

"What luck!", exclaims Jessie with rosie cheeks, "If we can gets our hands on that thing, then the boss will surely pay us handsomely... why... we could become gym leaders!!!"

She then imagines that she is a gym leader as a token Cris-tal enters shouting, "I challenge the gym leader to a battle!!" Jessie replies, "Ahahahaha! Welcome twerp, step right on up and we'll have a three on three pokemon battle!" They then show flashes of Jessie beating up on Crystal in the pokemon battle. "Oh no.... the gym leader is really strong... I can't win. I guess I'll just have to give up and go back home", comments Crystal in the dream as Jessie laughs at her imaginary victory in the vision and in real life. She then sums up, "And with that Espeon in my corner, I'll be the most successful gym leader ever."

"But what about us?", complains Meowth. But Jessie is the leader of the group so she says she already called that she'll be the successful gym leader. "Well if ya wanna have an Espeon in ya corner, we bettah start goin after it before we lose track of it!", yells Meowth. Jessie shouts in panic as James dramatically points towards where Espeon went saying, "After it!", and they all run off into the woods.

Back with the twerps, they are all grouping together to get ready to find Espeon. "I can't believe Espeon just ran off like that!", declares Sabrina. "I don't understand what could make it do that", says Misty with Togetic flying just behind Misty but it's not Togepi so hopefully.... Misty is safe (or in danger depending on how you feel towards Misty). "Whatever made it run off we'll have to use our pokemon to help find it. Espeon is faster than you'd expect and it could be pretty far away by now", remarks Sabrina.

This piques Cris-tal's interest as she decides to check out what Dexter has to say:

Espeon - the Sun Pokemon - An evolved form of Eevee. Espeon uses the fine hair that covers its body to sense air currents and predict its enemy's actions.

"Sounds like a tricky pokemon to catch or to beat", notes the token Cris-tal. Sabrina then has Kadabra use its psychic powers and its unique German accent to try and sense Espeon. It uses all its capabilities to the maximum but it's taking Kadabra a long time to find Espeon even with its somewhat humorous, "Kadabrrrrra!", cry. Sabrina worries that this may mean that Espeon may be far away already just as she foresaw. Crystal then intervenes to suggest that maybe Noctowl can find Espeon. She throws out the doity disgustin stinkin cocaine-laden boid.

After a head twitch, Crystal tells it to look for an Espeon using its psychic abilities. After a quick bullsh*t 'Nice Noctowl' remarks by Sabrina, Noctowl alerts Crystal that its found something (perhaps a hidden stash) and it flies off with Kadabra just behind it declaring, "Kadabrrrra!!" The threesome, our pokemon couple in love, the artist formerly known as the freaky egg thingy, and the psycho..... I... I mean psychic chick Sabrina follow Noctowl and Kadabra to search for Espeon.

When they reach the nearby area which turns out to be a neighborhood park according to Justin. Sabrina says she can sense Espeon nearby with her psycho/psychic abilities. "But where is Espeon?", wonders Crystal as Sandshrew then picks up a pokemon's scent other than the PKOne perfume that Pikachu is wearing. Sandshrew talks it over with its soon to be life partner and Pikachu confirms that the scent must be Espeon's. Pikachu alerts the crew that they've spotted Espeon and it runs off with Sandshrew as the twerps hope to find Espeon and Sandshrew and Pikachu hope to run past everyone to find a place to make some whoopee.

As the twerps run to find Espeon, Misty notices that poor Togetic is getting tired. She quickly consoles Togetic saying it must be tired and then tells Togetic to take a rest. Thus, Togetic is sucked back into the pokeball so it can't regain any knowledge on how to drain away energy. Meanwhile, Espeon is walking down a path on a road to nowhere when Team Rocket pops up to announce that they've moved towards it to capture the "pokemon of the sun". "Now be a psychic friend and come to us!", says Meowth.

Jessie then tries to leap up and bag the weird looking freaky psychic-type. But Espeon uses a confusion attack to keep Jessie off of it and it slams Jessie into a tree. "Jessie... are you alright?", asks James as Jessie falls to the ground but quickly, and very, VERY angrily gets back up. She blasts Espeon for trying to throw it around and then sends out Arbok to deal with Espeon. Jessie tries to have Arbok headbutt the weird looking kitten thing but Espeon jumps, rebounds off the nearby tree in true Crouching Tiger: Hidden Dragon fashion and takes down Arbok.

But Jessie isn't about to be bossed around as she has Arbok try to corral it from underground. But Espeon sees this coming too and avoids Arbok's underground attack. But in a move that gives Arbok some badly needed credit he deserves but often never gets, Arbok uses its tail to come back around and it slams Espeon with its tail.

..like Weezing could ever pull that off.

This gives Meowth the opening it needs to open his bag to trap Espeon inside. "Oooooh! Nice job Meowth, you should've been a bagger at your local A & P!", says James praising Meowth's bagging skills. "Actually.... I did apply ta work at one uh dem joints but I got fired fah stealin cat food!", utters Meowth in reply. Jessie yells at Meowth and James to stop wasting time and to help her bring Espeon to the boss. "Aye-aye sir!", they both say with that weird habit of calling Jessie 'sir'. Who do they think they are??? Marcy from Peanuts??

So they run away with their haul until .... oh no!!! .... Pikachu jumps in front of them to their shock. "Hey... it's Pikachu!!", notes Jessie curiously. "Pikachu?? here??", adds Meowth as Pikachu begins to charge up against Team Rocket. They all panic as Pikachu lets a thunderbolt rip. The energy circulates throughout the area but after Pikachu finishes, Team Rocket is unaffected because Meowth happened to be carrying an electric panel that deflects the attacks. "Hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah!! Tanks to dis electric panel, all dat shocking enuhgy is toined back on Pikachu", brags Meowth.

"Brilliant Meowth!", exclaims Jessie in joy. "Now.... we're the ones hunting for you, Pikachu!", she warns as they laugh. Pikachu looks around for its boyfriend but when Sandshrew doesn't show up right away, it then starts to get uneasy with TR shadowing their long awaited catch. Talk about a situation reversal....

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon???

It's Parasect!!!! ................................ "Parasect!!!"

They begin to lunge for the electric yellow mouse until Sandshrew jumps in front of its bitch defiantly yelling, "Saaashrew!!!" "Look! It's Sandshrew", points out James as Sandshrew begins to wind up a sandstorm attack. "Heh... we're gonna get a triple play! I'll simply deflect an attack with my panel 'ere an...", says Meowth forgetting that his panel only deflects electricity. Sandshrew's sandstorm bowls over Team Rocket going right past the panel Meowth was proudly holding up. TR ends up in a pile with Jessie on her back and James on top of her with Meowth to the side of them.

.................................

.................................

................................. you sick f*ckin perverts!!!! Don't play dumb with me... I know what you're thinking.

"Meowth....", mutters James who's in a very bad way (heh), "That panel of yours only deflects electricity." "And apparently your brain power as well", adds Jessie who's holding on to Espeon in the bag. And then, in a huge surprise turn of events (sarcasm), Crystal & co. find them. "Well look who it is....", Crystal says. "I should've known you three were here with everyone sensing something foul around here", shouts Misty. Then, when Sabrina sees the bag that Jessie is holding, she senses psychotically/psychically that Espeon is in there. The threesome is shocked by this news as Sabrina demands her pokemon back with a mean-spirited, somewhat scary tone in her voice. Team Rocket then sits up Indian-style like they teach kids in kindergarten and they close their eyes as if to engage in yoga. They're also wearing skin-tight yoga-style aerobics uniforms which looks the most hilarious on James while also bringing out the curves in their bodies.

When Team Rocket transforms for a scene, they really go all out.....LOL!! And I think that uniform has made many guys bust a load just now.

"Instead we're gonna prepare you for trouble" announces Jessie serenely.
"While we meditate and make it double"
"To protect the world from devastation"
"To unite all peoples within our nation"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love"
"To extend our reach to the stars above"
"Jessie"
"James”
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight"
"Meowth, that's right!", sums up Meowth calmly as they all get back up.

"Gee James, it feels so good to psychically connect with yourself", says Jessie in a very relaxed tone. "Yeah... I even had a psychic vision Jessie...", he says wearing the yoga outfit (he he he), "I foresaw that we're going to be successful this time and grab all their pokemon!" "Really?", asks an optimistic Meowth, "Den dis may be our lucky day!" But Justin is quick to disagree saying, "As usual, you three are goin to be wrong!!!" Crystal then declares that they know what to do with "you losers" and sends Noctowl to battle.

Jessie then brags that they aren't scared since they know they've already won. Wobbuffet also pops out to agree with Jessie stating, "Wooooobbbuuuhhffet!!" "This vision doesn't have to include you!!", responds Jessie. But Wobbuffet replies, "Woooobbb!!", and Jessie gives in uttering, "Oh all right!! You can battle...... GO!!!!", and Wobbuffet leaps in front of TR ready to whoop ass.

Sabrina has Kadabra use psychic attack but Wobbuffet deflects it back at Kadabra with a mirror coat. "Their Wobbuffet is too strong... we'll have to gang up on it Crystal!", says Sabrina. Crystal says that its fine and has Noctowl use tackle which Wobbuffet counters away. Jessie then demands that James help her out or else she'll get outmanned by two women.

?????????? Well........ I guess it's reason to worry when you're not used to being outmanned.... (.... it's supposed to be a joke............ I guess.......)

But Jessie notices that James has disappeared and in place of him is a look-alike mannequin with a pokeball. And thus, a very strange scene unfolds within TR. Jessie shouts, "James, what are you doing? Where are you?" James then speaks through a speaker implanted in the mannequin, "You'll see what I'm doing..... gooooo Victreebel!!!", he shouts as the mannequin throws out the sodomizing Victreebel.

Victreebel goes to attack the head of the mannequin but stops suddenly when it realizes that its not James. So it then hops over to a nearby shrub and pauses for a second. After confirming something, it knocks on the shrub like a door with its vine. After a few knocks, the real James comes out of hiding unaware of anything. "Uh.... yes?", he asks to find out what's going on and Victreebel then attacks his head as James oooooh's and shrieks in panic as only he can do. The threesome watch all this as anime sweatdrops show from the back of their heads.

But then Crystal has watched enough and has Noctowl use confusion. Wobbuffet deflects it back with mirror coat as Kadabra uses a psybeam attack. This time though, Jessie gets confused between counter and mirror coat with the attack approaching. "Counter!!! Uh.... I mean mirror coat. No..... uh...... mirror counter", she garbles but the attack nails Wobbuffet back into Jessie who falls back into Victreebel who falls back onto James.

"Can't cha get ya attacks straight???!!!", shouts Meowth(!). Jessie shouts back even louder, "Well why don't you try memorizing which attack to use against all those attacks???!!!!!" "Well I'll have ta do it all on my own again!!!", replies Meowth as Noctowl is ordered to take that bag with Espeon away from Meowth. "Ahh no ya don't!!!", shouts Meowth as he engages in a tug of war with Noctowl as the bag eventually rips apart freeing Espeon to the horror of Meowth.

"Now it's time to hunt you!!", shouts Cris-tal. But James recants, "We're not falling prey yet... Victreebel, use your vine whip attack", in true dramatic flair. Espeon then jumps the vine whip and at the behest of Sabrina, uses confusion to attack Victreebel back. "Do you still believe your psychic vision, James???", angrily shouts Jessie. "All right.... I admit it.... it wasn't psychic, it was imaginary!!!!", admits James as the rest of TR all collapses anime style. And just to finish things off, Sandshrew uses an earthquake attack which rattles TR and causes one of those random explosions that sends Team Rocket blasting off.

Team Rocket soars through the air as they jitter with the aftereffects of the earthquake attack.

"Looks like Team Rocket's shaken up agaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiiiinn" "Woo-ooooo-oo-oooobbbuu-uuu-uhhh-hhffet!"

And then the usual twinkling star to denote exactly where they are in the sky. Crystal and company then celebrate victory number 3252072510494522584572 over Team Rocket while Sabrina coldly bellows, "Pathetic fools!" towards the sky and TR. Sabrina then welcomes back Espeon petting its chin as it admonishes the psycho/psychic pokemon never to run off like that again. Crystal then tells her pokemon, Sandshrew and Pikachu, that she hopes they'll never get separated like that as they all gush at Sabrina and Espeon. "Pikachu!!", says Pikachu lovingly nuzzling the cheek of its beloved druggie/pokemon trainer.

Sabrina then looks up towards Crystal and then says to her, "Hey Crystal.... considering that we're all the way out here already, and that the weather is gorgeous outside, I figure that that maybe you'd all be interested in having our gym battle outdoors, right in this field." "Really?", asks Crystal. "She wants to have the battle out here??", wonders Misty. Justin replies to her, "This may be a break for Crystal, this battle area is well suited for Crystal since she focuses well outdoors and with nature", he tells Misty alluding to her constant smoking outside in the woods where they are right now. "Oh yeah..... this might benefit Crystal!", realizes Misty as Crystal accepts Sabrina's idea. And thus..... the second gym battle.... (dramatic noise) Cris-tal stands with Pikachu and Sandshrew opposite Sabrina and her pokemon in one of her more natural enviroments (if only she were naked, she'd have a complete advantage).

Sabrina explains that it will be a two on two battle and that the pokemon of choice must be announced. To no one's surprise, Sabrina uses the German accented Kadabra and Espeon. "Figures!", states Crystal who then announces that she'll go with Sandshrew (who jumps forward)

and................

and....................... she'll also go with he personal lighter, Cyndaquil.

Pikachu, who was expecting to battle side by side with its lover false starts on the leap out and in that French humor that DM Tim is so used to pointing out, it falls on its face letting out a sarcastic, "Pika!!!". This would probably translate into, 'Yeah... very f*cking funny you sh*thole writers who have nothing better to do than to watch Pokemon and then whack off!'

Whoa........ Pikachu, you're supposed to be a role model!!!

Thus, the battle begins as Sabrina sends out Kadabra first who cries out, "Kadabrrra!", with its accent. Crystal then tells Cyndaquil that its up first as it goes out to attack. Bystanders nearby notice the neat little pokemon battle and approach the battle to witness it. One of them even volunteers themselves to be the referree.............. so much for ref guidelines in the Kanto League..............

The battle begins as Cyndaquil starts out bursting out its assfire and uses a flamethrower attack. Sabrina stares at the battle probably with one of those 'You gotta be joking... this is her strategy... heh' thoughts in her head. Sabrina has Kadabra teleport away as Kadabra calls out, "Kadabrrrrra!", thus easily dodging all of Cyndaquil's flamethrowers and even all of Cyndaquil's annoying high pitched "Quiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilll!!!" cries. Then Kadabrrrrra teleports right behind Cyndaquil ready to kick its ass. This (or maybe something else <wink wink>) prompts Misty to warn Crystal, "Quick, have Cyndaquil get away!!!"

So Cyndaquil uses its agility to escape but Kadabra teleports with it every step of the way. "It's no use... Kadabra's just as fast as Cyndaquil!", concludes Justin. "I just knew Sabrina's pokemon would be too tough!", adds Misty remembering when the psych(ot)ic Sabrina was kicking's Misty's (boyfriend's) ass.

Sabrina then surprises everyone when she has Kadabra thunderpunch Cyndaquil and Kadabra connects with a couple of them. Cyndaquil then tries to hide again with a smokescreen but Kadabra uses it foresight to spot Cyndaquil. So Kadabra gets ready to use a mad powerful psychic attack but Cyndaquil holds it off momentarily with a swift attack. Thus, Cyndaquil is back to its stubby little feet face-to-face with the accented Kadabra. Sabrina has Kadabra use a psychic attack while Crystal has Cyndaquil use a flamethrower.

The two attacks collide head to head as Kadabra and Cyndaquil try all their might to push their attacks on the other. "Kaaaaaaddaaaabbbrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaa!", grunts Kadabra while Cyndaquil grunts, "Cyyyyyyyyyyynnnnddddaaaaaaaaaaa!", in this strength contest. But the power of Kadabra's accent beats the power of Cyndaquil's squealing as the attacks force their way back onto Cyndaquil. Cyndaquil tries with all its stubby might to get back up but it falls back unable to battle.

After the replacement referee declares Kadabra (and its accent) the winner, Misty mellows down knowing that Crystal is losing. "Kadabra was just faster and stronger than Cyndaquil that time!", notes Misty softly. Justin confirms saying, "Hmm... Crystal's going to need her strongest pokemon to win now. Fortunately, she has Sandshrew!!", he says confidently. And like clockwork, Crystal sends Sandshrew out to deal with Kadabra and its ever present accent. Crystal has Sandshrew start out with a fury swipes attack but Kadabra teleports away again to avoid Sandshrew. Crystal then gets stumped for a moment thinking that Kadabra will just keep teleporting.

But then she gets an idea of how to stop Kadabra and its teleporting. "Sandshrew, just stand there and get ready to use toxic attack", says Crystal. So Sandshrew just stands and watches Kadabra foolishly teleport all over the battle area. This is until Kadabra tries to teleport once more but it can't do so. "Kadabra's run out of energy.... now you can attack, Crystal", says Justin playing coach. This unlike last time when he deserted Crystal to go chase some Vermilion city hos. Not that it mattered though, since Crystal won that battle and a badge anyway. "Get ready, Sandshrew!", says Crystal waiting for that one right moment. Kadabra then jumps at the order of Sabrina, floats telepathically for a moment, then is told to use a confusion attack.

Crystal then picks up on something and tells Sandshrew to turn around and use its toxic attack. This turns Kadabra almost totally blue with poison as it chokes up its accented, "Kadaaaabbbrrrrrraaaahh!!", and then it falls to one knee. Then Sandshrew cleans up the left over trash with an earthquake attack smashing Kadabra and knocking it out of the battle to the chagrin of the Saffron City gym leader. "Hooray! I knew Sandshrew could do it!", shouts Misty in jubilation with Pikachu adds "Pi-pikachu!!!!", cheering for its bitch

Justin then explains for the audience, "Crystal has outstanding intuition. She knew that Kadabra was running out of teleporting energy but still saw that the so-called short circuit was really Kadabra's thunderpunch! So she had Sandshrew wait until Kadabra prepared to attack. When she saw Kadabra float up for a suspended period of time she knew that it would probably attack from behind. So that's why she had Sandshrew turn around and attack. Of course, I think Sandshrew's senses help it find out where Kadabra was."

Misty concludes to keep things simple unlike her brainiac compatriots, "They're an outstanding team!" "It's impressive of you to outwit Kadabra and I once, but you won't outwit me again. Espeon.... get out there!", says Sabrina coldly the way she was talking when she was possessed by that doll in the first Sabrina trilogy. Sandshrew grits its teeth as it looks menacingly at Espeon. "Let's weaken them up, Sandshrew! Use your slash attack!", shouts Crystal as Sandshrew winds up for a slash attack.

But the attack seemingly goes right through Espeon who is then ordered to meditate. Espeon just stands there and closes its eyes as it psychically connects with itself the way TR was allegedly doing earlier. Crystal wonders why its meditating and Justin, being the great coach that he is, gives her the ultimate answer to that question................. "I........... don't know!" This causes Crystal to moan, "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!", before she regroups saying, "Well, we'll have to break its meditation. Use a skull bash attack!"

So Sandshrew lines itself up to hit Espeon with its hard head. Espeon is able to foresee this as Sabrina warns it to get out of the way. However, Sandshrew is not about to look like a fool that easily and its quickness is able to hit Espeon before the gray weird-looking pokemon can escape. Sabrina gasps as Crystal cheers at Sandshrew's success. "Dead on target!", snaps Justin no thanks to his coaching abilities while Misty cheers, "Sandshrew is doing great." Espeon is not defeated yet however, as it uses a take down attack to hurt Sandshrew.

Crystal tells Sandshrew to hang in there and come back with a slash attack. The stubby yet muscular little................ uh, shrew leaps forward quickly to slash Espeon when........... it's blasted from the side with a psybeam??? This obviously worries Crystal who is unsure what has happened as well as worry Justin and Misty. "What happened?", wonders Misty as Justin answers that Espeon was not really there. Misty then asks him where it went and Justin replies that he doesn't know. But then he and Misty realize that Espeon must have used a psychic attack to trick Sandshrew and Crystal. "Psychic attack?", wonders Misty, "If Espeon is able to psychically control Sandshrew, then Crystal is in a lot of trouble!" "Crystal, do something!", warns Justin. But Crystal is not totally sure of what to do (the cocaine's damaging effects must've kicked in) so then she eventually has Sandshrew use a toxic attack. Sabrina calls for Espeon to use a psychic attack at the same time in her cold and calculating tone of voice.

Ooooooooooooooooooh................ spooky!

Before Sandshrew unleashes the poison from its mouth (Ewwwwwwwwwww), the real Espeon loses its psychic control and pops up right near Sandshrew. Crystal points it out to Sandshrew and Sandshrew aims its toxic attacks at Espeon. Espeon, at the same time, aims its psychic attack at Sandshrew and thus once again, the attacks collide head on. Sandshrew uses its strong poison spitting (???... I guess) strength while Espeon tries to telekinetically push its psychic attack onto Sandshrew.

Both gym leaders give their pokemon words of encouragement as they both struggle to get their attacks onto the other pokemon. For a few very tense moments, Crystal looks on with determination and anxiety while Justin, Misty, Sabrina, German accented Kadabra, and Pikachu have their eyes glues to the action for seemingly a full 20 seconds. And then after the long mental battle, Espeon gets the upper hand and blasts Sandshrew with a psychic attack. "Oh no! Get back up, Sandshrew", shouts Crystal as Sandshrew does get back up. But it does not get back up on its own power..... no, for Espeon is now psychically controlling the fallen Sandshrew.

Sabrina commands Espeon to psychically throw Sandshrew against a tree and like that.................. it's aaaaaaaallll over!!! ................................... For today anyway! Crystal looks on in shock as it walks over to pick up the fallen Sandshrew. "Sandshrew??", she asks to see if it's okay as she pauses and then says, "It's okay.... You were awesome out there!" She then cradles her Sandshrew as Pikachu looks up from next to Crystal's leg (NO, PIKACHU ISN'T LOOKING UP HER LEG YOU SICK FREAKS!!!!!!!) as the yellow rodent shouts, "Pika..... pikachu!', in words of encouragement.

Justin for some reason then starts crying after seeing his protege lose the gym battle while he sobs, "That was so heartbreaking." Misty then turns to him and asks, "I know.... but do you really have to cry about it??", trying to knock some sense into the goofy acting young man. "No", he replies simply as Misty tells him, "Good." They then notice Sabrina go over to Crystal and Pikachu. Sabrina consoles her and then says, "That was a really tough battle. You're a smart trainer and I hope we get to have a rematch really soon. I think you and your pokemon should rest up for awhile first at the nearby pokemon center. It's just about a half mile that way."

Crystal thanks Sabrina solemnly as Justin and Misty walk up to Crystal and console her. Misty puts her arm around her shoulder and asks if she's fine. Crystal says she's okay as she can only watch Sabrina and her psychic pokemon walk away through her bloodshot eyes. And thus, we leave Cris-tal as she was humbled by Sabrina and her powerful psychic pokemon. The only way she can continue her Kanto League journey is if she challenges Sabrina to a rematch and wins. But first.... I highly suspect that she's going to go on a serious pot smoking binge after such a tough loss.

And to be honest with ya............ what pothead wouldn't??