Dragonitemare presents

Pokemon Crystal series

Ep. 31

Okay now! The threesome and their pokemon crew are moving along.... cool! Crystal got two badges already and is gunning for more.... cool! Misty's got a new, more mature, sexier look.... cool! Justin has filled in very nicely for Brock, is on somewhat of a college hunt with the two girls, and occasionally entertains us with his flirting........ uh cool! Pikachu and Sandshrew have not only become battle partners, but also partners in love!...... like.. cool! Paraplegic Ash is gettin some lovin (whether he wants it or not) from Meganium while Delia Ketchum is still gettin some lovin' (whether she wants it or not) from that dirty Prof. Oak......... uh cool .. I guess!

But it seems that no matter what ideas I come up with, the twerps and some of their pokemon seem to have less and less of a personality. So when that happens, I must try to fix it by doing what others may not do........ shake up their pokemon lineup! Now we've already recently seen Justin unload a huge pokemon from his pockets when he released Gyarados. But what other pokemon are so lifeless and useless that they have to get the heave ho??....... Hmmm?

Now Justin's pokemon don't seem to have much personality to them and we don't know to much about them. A lot of them would be good candidates for Justin to leave behind and say goodbye to. However, since Justin unloaded Gyarados so recently, it doesn't look like any more of his pokemon will be going.... at least not today.

Hmmmm..... what about Crystal's pokemon?? They all seem to have fun, lovable personalities (even Squealmaster Cyndaquil whom has its good points). So it's not very likely that we're going to see Crystal's, or more correctly, Ash's pokemon go away any time soon.

And as for Misty's pokemon??... Well they seem to be a veteran group with some of them being around for a looooooong long time. Maybe one of these pokemon should go.... let's examine them briefly!

Togetic - Lost its evil edge when it evolved and is not a water pokemon like the rest of Misty's, but since Togetic is a Johto pokemon (which the writers are in love with) and it's relatively new, it's probably going to stay.

Corsola - Again, Johto pokemon that the marketers don't want you to have enough of. Though it's hated by some, we can still explore some of its moves and behaviors since we haven't seen too much of it. So I don't see Corsola leaving anytime soon either.

Poliwhirl - A strong pokemon that has actually been impressive. But Misty will probably want to brag about her Poliwhirl to her sisters in an impending visit where her sisters will try to coax her into giving them Poliwhirl.

Psyduck - Psyduck doesn't pop out as often as it used to.... but he's still a quacker and has a special place in dodgers' and Misty's hearts. Psyduck place on Misty's roster is fairly safe.

Staryu - Staryu has been around forever as far as the pokemon world goes. The fact that it doesn't have a face to show emotion makes it vulnerable. But there's no way anyone could let go of a pokemon that cries out a sharp, loud "Hya!!!" And I didn't even get into whenever it dances.....

Goldeen - Ah... now here's another serious candidate to be let go. It's been around a long time, does absolutely nothing for the team, and it looks tarty to boot. Combine that with the suggestive name of the title and we apparently have our pokemon to let go....... cool!

On to the story, our twerps are headed straight for Cerulean City strolling along yet another riverbank. Justin excitedly yells out that they should get to Cerulean City in no time following the river trail. Misty sarcastically responds, "Oh boy... I can't wait!", trying to maybe still avoid an embarrassing reunion with her sisters that she doesn't want if that's still possible. As they walk over a ridge, they notice this big fort area that covers both sides of the river and the two story open roof bridge structures look massive off in the distance. "What could that river fort possibly be used for?", wonders a stoned Crystal maybe thinking they could have a drug trade in there as Sandshrew and Pikachu try to closely observe the fort's activities from a long distance away.

<cue intro>

"That huge fort place is covering the entire length of the river", observes Justin as the camera pans back and forth through the fort place. Misty adds that, "I don't think we can get around it....... oh well, we'll just have to turn back and try to go to a gym in another city." But Justin tells her, "Not so fast.... all we have to do is tell our story and they should let us through, right?" "Yeah.... that sounds logical..", answers an obviously stoned Cris-tal who has no idea what they're talking about most likely.

So they go up to the river fort place as Pikachu and Sandshrew get that strange feeling only pokemon get when they feel like something isn't right. And no... it's NOT the feeling that Pikachu isn't feeling.... um... 'fresh'. "Pika...", curiously quips Pikachu while Crystal marvels at the fort building with glassy eyes as she says, "It is kind of intimidating looking..." Whether or not she means the fort is up to people's determinations.

Crystal opens the door and they all walk into a foyer area where they see two armed guards blocking the main entranceway. So Crystal goes up to them and asks them if there's any way they could pass through their compound so they could get to Cerulean City. But the cold-hearted guard tells them that the compound is private just like many so called important government department headquarters. So Crystal tells them that they'll then need a way to get around the fort.

"There's no way around, really. You're going to have to just follow the mountain foothills around", stammers the left guard. "But.... we can't", starts to explain Crystal as Sandshrew uses some sudden superhero pokemon sense to sense

trouble and it then declares, "Sandshrew!!!", and runs away from Crystal and through an unsecured open side door. "Sandshrew!!! Wait, come back here!!", shouts Crystal as Pikachu goes on to trail its lover towards wherever its running to. The threesome then soon follow Pikachu and Sandshrew into the fort area as the guards yell for them to return. But its to no avail and the guards contact security via their walkie-talkies and tell them that there are intruder in Sector 3 of the compound as it sounds an alarm.

Crystal yells for Sandshrew to come back as they run through a twisting maze of corridors somehow avoiding all the employees of the evil fort that should be on alarm for intruders. After chasing for awhile, it looks like the threesome has found Pikachu and Sandshrew as they are peeking out towards the factory area. So it looks like that our pokemon couple just got antsy and well.... you know.... they couldn't wait. But they'll have to wait a little longer as Crystal spots the two loveboids in an upstairs armory closet.

"There you are... what are you doing Sandshrew? You know better than to run off like that.... especially in a private place!", chides Cris-tal. But then Sandshrew shouts out, "Saanshrew shrew!", to Crystal and the other threesome members as it points out something that he discovered. "And that's 30....... 40...... 50 thousand!! heh heh", states a voice which piques Crystal's attention. "What could that be about?", wonders Misty as they go to look out the window.

They all see a guy with red hair combed over and dressed in a North Face vest and khakis talking with some older fatter balding guy. "This Sunflora conversion plant is gonna make you a bundle of money, Blair!", laughs old fat guy. Blair, who's name we've just heard one line ago responds, "Whoever thought that a bunch of Sunfloras could be converted into an enormous cash crop..", in a nerdy yet evil tone of voice.

The threesome, Sandshrew and Pikachu then watch in horror as they see an assembly line of carelessly smiling Sunfloras being stretched, groomed with some kind of chemicals, and they then get 'converted' into some sort of more lifeless looking (if that's possible) Sunflora. They may not be moving, but that doesn't mean they don't have those empty smiles on no longer. "If I can still wrangle up all the Sunfloras I can, you can make crops out of them all we could be millionaires out of these stupid, useless Sunfloras", brags Blair and they both begin laughing.

The twerps watching this on the other hand, are hardly laughing. They are all gritting their teeth in extreme anger, most notably Crystal who can't stand an unrecognized pot-making factory stealing business from where she gets her supply. "They're turning those poor pokemon into crops!", stammers Misty. "That's horrifically cruel!!", outrages Crystal. "...... and it's also very illegal!!", adds Justin sharply while Sandshrew also criticizes the business. "What do we do?", wonders Misty.

But before they can concoct a plan, they hear the two guards confiding that they'll check the armory where the twerps are hiding. "We gotta get outta here before we get caught!", says Justin. So Crystal comes up with an unbeatable plan to beat the bad guys by.......................... jumping out the window and landing right near the bosses of the operation in the center of the factory???

I guess Ash's action hero idiot influence has some impact on her chemical riddled mind.

And so the twerps land on the ground where the Sunflora factory is as the impact of their land gets the attention of Blair and the old fat guy. "WHO THE HECK ARE YOU THREE??", shouts Blair at the intruders. "Nevermind who we are.... you two are crooks!", shouts Misty. "What kind of scumbag would use innocent Sunflora and torture them just for a profit??", adds Justin angrily while Crystal just growls at the drug ring outside the circle of dealers.

"You kids should learn to behave!", answers the old fat man. "This is none of your business, you brats. You better just get out of here, now!", shouts Blair. But Justin just shouts back louder, "Oh this is definitely our business now! You two deserve to go to jail!!!", as he gets out a pokeball. "And I guess we'll have to show you just our pokemon feel about your abuse!! Go Bulbasaur!", shouts Crystal calling out Bulbasaur giving out an angry, "Saur Bulbasaur!", detesting the fort as well.

Crystal calls for Sandshrew and Pikachu to battle as well while Misty says, "I'm gonna stop you, too!", and she sends Poliwhirl to battle. "You're not going to get away with silencing us!", concludes Justin as he throws out Nidoqueen whom comes out with a, "RRRRAAAAAAAHHH-UUUURRRRRRR!!!", making it the most hilarous pokemon cry we've heard since "Ga-rooooooooooooaaaaaaarrr!", from Onix.

Crystal then sends Pikachu to electrocute the machine and short circuit it. But just before Pikachu can attack, it gets KO'ed by a Hitmonchan prompting Crystal to gasp and Justin and Misty to yell, "Oh no! Pikachu!" Well now... it seems like the hundreds of guards working security have finally caught up to and have found and surrounded the threesome and their pokemon. The twerps are the heroes and such don't get me wrong, but against dozens of security guards, their odds of winning are still pretty much nil.

So how might these illegal, renegade drug thugs be stopped??? Maybe they can be stopped by our story's real heroes......... which means, yup, Team Rocket. "Well... it looks like our twerps have run into quite a pickle!", observes Jessie from a tall tree. "Those guys look tough and unforgiving.... I wouldn't want to fight them", quivers James as he blushes through his audio-capable binoculars.

Can you say............. gangbang, kiddies?

"Well yeah... I see what you mean. But did you hear about the heap of Sunflora that are in there?", responds Jessie all to used to James....... uh..... blushing at factory workers. "I coitanly did.... an I heard what dey're gonna do ta them. Dat plan is cruelty that rivals a TR plan", responds Meowth. "No one rivals our plans!!! I'd say we steal those Sunflora and give them to the boss", says Jessie.

"And I have a way to do it!", snickers Jessie, "When we stealthily swipe the Sunflora from that factory, not only will we be fulfilling our TR quota for the boss, but we'll also be heroes for rescuing those poor Sunflora and sending them to a better place!" "And once we have the Sunflora not only will be heroes, but we can also sell some of them and get us rich", states James. "If we pull dis off.... we'll be in a total win-win sitchawation. Aaaaaaaaahhh.....", fantasizes Meowth.

But Jessie then hammers them and yells, "Will you two stop daydreaming??!! Now come here and listen to my plan!" They then listen to Jessie's idea as Wobbuffet also listens in unbeknownst to them. "Dat'll woik", exclaims Meowth. "Well what are we waiting for??", expresses James who can't wait to enact TR's plan. "WOOOOOOOOOOBBBUUUHHFFET!!", shouts Wobbuffet saluting and scaring the hell out of poor TR. "We're waiting for you to stop doing that!", mutters Jessie returning Wobbuffet to its pokeball. "Okay... let's go!", demands Jessie. "Roger...", says James about the guy he can't get out of his mind and they then tiptoe off the branch they're on and then slide down the shaft of the tall wooden pine.

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.................................................. GETCHA MIND OUTTA DA GUTTA!!!

The twerps meanwhile, are surrounded by Blair and his Sunflora thugs. Crystal holds Pikachu conked out in her arms while Blair snickers, "Now let me get this straight....... you're going to do what to us?" "We're in a lot of trouble!", straightly notes Justin. Misty then lectures, "You may stop us but you're not going to stop the police!" Blair snorts at the pretty young lady and her friends and then commands, "Security! Get these incessant insects out of here!"

The security thugs and their pokemon oblige and then charge at the threesome slamming them with enough force to send them out of the fort via the air. We then see them and their pokemon flying away and yelling the way we've seen TR do hundreds of times.

"Looks like we're blasting off agaaaaaiiiii.....", they all begin to shout but then Misty catches onto something being that she's been around longer than any other human character on the show. "Way way wait a minute!!!! We don't say that!", she yells trying to isolate them from Team Rocket. "Oh right..... that's TR's line!", remembers Justin from his TR days..... or day..... or hour. So then they all yell and scream as they end up falling to their cruel death as they land.............. in the river.

What's with our protagonists and rivers nowadays, huh??

And with their recent experience with rivers, they avoid paralysis and death by not landing on their heads and we see them pop all their heads to the surface. "Whew..... that was scary!", exhales Misty as they regroup in the river (this one has no real sweeping current so the threesome isn't moving. "Now I feel somewhat like TR", quips Crystal. We then see Nidoqueen and Bulbasaur pop up desperately doggy paddling for their lives with their stubby little legs. Poliwhirl also pops up with no such problems for obvious reasons but it still gets returned to its pokeball just like the others that can't swim.

"Well... we can't stop those Sunflora thieves by ourselves but we can't let them make crops out of any more Sunflora. We're going to have to contact the police", declares Crystal who then asks where the nearest police precinct is. Justin pulls out the Kanto map which somehow didn't disintegrate into the water. "Well according to our map here, it looks like the nearest station iiiiiss........ right here...", he explains pointing to the map as the girls swim over to get a closer look, "... on the other side of the fort!" His finish makes the girls fall over underwater before they quickly get back up feeling uneasy over the fact that they'll have to sneak by the fort.

Just as they'll have to face up to the reality of the situation, Pikachu notices a horn coming out of the water and looks very confused at it. "Well how are we going to get to this police station without anyone at the fort seeing us?", wonders Misty. Sandshrew then turns with Pikachu as they spot another, bigger horn sticking up out of the surface. "We'll just have to swim our way through and hide underwater so no one spots us", claims Crystal.

Pikachu and Sandshrew try to get Crystal's attention by tugging on her tye-dye shirt. "What do you want you guys? Are you alright?", worries Cris-tal. Pikachu points to two horns in the river sticking out and when the threesome curiously turn around to see what it is. The horns reveal themselves to be a rather tartly looking Goldeen and a fugly Seaking (All Seakings are fugly).

"Hey.. it's a Goldeen and a Seaking!", observes Crystal curiously. Misty hesitantly utters, "I wonder what they're doing here?" And just as they're wondering, about a hundred more Goldeens and Seakings pop up out of the water to confront and surround our protagonists as they cry out their names like most pokemon do. Naturally, our threesome is scared and anticipating an ass-whooping. "Oh man.... there are tons of them.... a lot more than us", says Crystal. "I'm not feeling very secure or manly right now", quips Justin in a dodgy statement to the public as they are being stared down by the gang of fishy pokemon.

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon?? (This pokemon is made of vapor and looks like gas that someone passed.)

It's Gastly ................................... "Gaaaaaaaaaassstly!!"

"Uhhhhh.... how are we going to get out of this?", sarcastically chuckles Cris-tal. "We've been ganged up upon a lot today........ not a very good day", notes Justin. Pikachu then tries to shock all the water pokemon into next Tuesday but Crystal and Justin stop Pikachu with Justin stating that it'll shock all of them, too. Misty then figures, "They must be upset at us for some reason. I'm gonna try to find out why." So with that she sends her ambassador Goldeen to go out and try to decipher what the other Goldeens and Seakings are doing. "Goldeen goldeen?", questions Goldeen.

But another Goldeen just snaps back at it, "Gold goldeen." Misty's Goldeen then pleads with the other cooler Goldeens, "Goldeen gold goldeen!" But the leader Goldeen just snorts at it stammering, "Gooooool-deen goldeen!" The Seaking then starts laughing, "Seaking seeeeaaaking king", like a jolly fat old guy and the rest of the group laughs at Goldeen.

Since Crystal hasn't learned to speak Goldeenish, she turns to Sandshrew to try and explain what is going on. So Sandshrew and Pikachu then decide to act out a scene to try and explain to Crystal what is happening while the Goldeens and Seakings are mocking Misty's Goldeen. Pikachu then goes up to Sandshrew and probably asks it if they want to come to bed but Sandshrew while maybe he says yes to Pikachu's offer, acts out by shaking his head in refusal. Pikachu then acts depressed which makes Crystal figure out what's happening.

"I get it.... so those other pokemon won't accept Goldeen because its an outsider and it looks weak", figures Crystal as Sandshrew and Pikachu nod their heads. "That's horrible....... poor Goldeen", consoles Misty. Goldeen then reacts to the others by stating, "Goldeen!", as it then turns away from the gang of Goldeens and Seakings. And just as the Goldeen gang is withdrawing away from the threesome. Misty's Goldeen turns around and blasts the leader Goldeen from behind with a water gun to the shock of everyone. This gets the groups of Goldeens and Seakings angry as they then go back to confront Goldeen. "Now what's happening?", wonders Crystal with Sandshrew perched on her shoulder. "I don't know but things might just get ugly right about now", answers Justin.

While the threesome is in the midst of a Goldeen gang war, the Sunflora operation they pledged to stop is still going on strong. "Crop production is going well, I can't wait till we tap into our farm across the river with thousands of Sunflora growing there!", says Blair talking to his old fat associate. That is when a guard from security informs them that a couple of individuals are here from the other Sunflora plant to meet them. So Blair listens and decides to bring them in.

And into the fort area comes a man in formal work clothes with red hair but having a brown moustache. 'He' is accompanied by a 'woman' with blue hair in formal work attire in a blouse and a skirt and a Meowth who is dressed in formal male attire. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaahhh!! The return of James crossdressing!!! "What may I help you people with?", asks Blair. "Hi.... we're representing the new Sunflora crop factory which is opening soon near Ecruteak City", says Jessie in a deep, somewhat masculine voice.

"That's funny.... I've never heard of our plant extending there", figures Blair. "Well it's very new and we're in the construction stages", states Jessie. "We've got the building still in development. The only thing we need now are a shipment of Sunflora from your garden to take back to our new plant", adds James in more feminine than usual voice. Blair looks puzzled and thinks things over for a moment but then agrees that he'll lend them some Sunflora and he takes our beautiful looking business associates over to the farm area.

We return to the threesome's predicament to see Goldeen engaged in battle with dozens of its own kind. Goldeen tries to desperately fight for its respectability using all the horn attacks and water guns it can possibly use. But when you're outnumbered 100 to 1, the odds don't really favor you. And so, the attacking catches up to Goldeen as the gang kicks its scaly ass as Misty can only hopelessly watch.

"I guess Goldeen was angry that it didn't fit in", suggests Crystal. "I've never ever seen Goldeen lash out like that. It's one of my most reserved pokemon", exclaims Misty with Psyduck clearly being the only pokemon more reserved (I mean with always looking confused and holding its head at everything). The group of Goldeens and Seakings then take the attacked Goldeen and carry it with them down the river towards the fort area as Misty shouts, very much concerned.

"Goldeen!!", shouts Misty. "We've gotta go after it!", yells Crystal. But Justin cautions them, "We can't just follow them. The fort down by that area and if those guys see us, we'll be in trouble!" "That's right.... we'll have to swim by underwater! You still have your scuba pieces, Misty?", plans Crystal. Misty does have them and they all (even Sandshrew and Pikachu) put them on and they go dive underwater to chase after the Goldeens and Seakings. In effect, they are also sneaking past the fort area and making their way closer to Cerulean City.

We all see them swimming underwater rather quickly for the human race. So they're chasing Goldeen underwater while directly above them on the surface is a barge on the river carrying Blair, old fat business associate guy, and TR crossdressed, disguised as entrepreneurs. "So.... when are you guys going to open this plant of yours?", asks a suspicious Blair.

"Oh... it's going to be veeeeery soon. We're pretty close to opening", promises Jessie with that fake male voice of hers. "And dat's good... cuz usually dey can't even develop a still frame", blurts out Meowth before Jessie forces Meowth's big jaws shut. "Uh huh huh huh.... pay no attention to our silly little mascot here" laughs Jessie. Wobbuffet wants to get in on the voting for the 'silly little mascot' title and happily shouts out, "Woooooooooobbbuuuuhhffet!", as Blair and co. look confused at TR's antics. "<sigh> ... or our other silly little mascot there", continues Jessie still with the somewhat manly voice getting Wobbuffet back into its pokeball.

We then see Blair use some kind of ID card to open the security door which opens up to reveal a Sunflora bonanza to the delight of TR. Blair shows them the whole farm with the thousand or so Sunflora and TR, though excited, maintain their composure. "Oh wow..... these Sunflora are much more ripe than I thought they'd look", gushes James.............. (you know y'all want to see him gush like a girl 24/7). Tee hee hee hee hee..... So Jessie then bargains, "We'll certainly be happy taking a cropload of these beautiful looking Sunflora back to the Ecruteak Plant."

Back in the river, we see our troop of somewhat irritable good guys finally pop up to the river surface at the other end of the fort with those funky looking scuba pieces in their mouths (imagine if scuba diving was that easy!). "Well.... we're on the other side of the fort", says Justin, "which means our path to Cerulean City is unblocked now. So all we have to do...." But then the two girls look meanly at him wondering how he could forget what that mean fort did to them. So he finishes, ".... find Goldeen and rescue all those Sunflora, huh huh."

"So where's the police station?", asks Misty. Justin responds that it's to the west pointing to where they'll run. "Let's go!", commands Crystal leading the way as they all head out of the river. But Misty doesn't move away from the river and when Crystal finally notices this after they run about 50 feet, they go back to find out what Misty's doing. "What's wrong, Misty?", wonders Crystal. Misty replies, "Goldeen.... I must find Goldeen, you go on without me!", orders Misty. "But...", starts Crystal before Misty dives back into the unusually calm river to look for Goldeen. Crystal tries to talk to Misty some more even though she's underwater (drug relapse I guess) before Justin snaps her out of her mini-trance and tells her to hurry along.

So we flash forward to Blair helps TR load a bunch of Sunflora bent all over and around each other inside TR's net to be hoisted by their happy buddha-faced Meowth balloon. Blair feels somewhat uneasy about this sudden occurence but despite the Meowth balloon trademarked by the most popular Team Rocket members in the world, Blair happily helps TR with their cargo as our little associates are ready to fly away with their new catch.

"We're really glad to do business with you! If we ever need any more Sunflora, we'll be glad to come back", states Jessie. "And if you ever need any Sunflora yourself, you can get some from us...", says Ms. James as he then joins in their silent chuckling. But then, a security guard races in and the old fat guy huffs and puffs his way in from the fort offices and shouts to inform Blair that the check they got was phony and that the fat guy called his HQ who told him there was no such thing as another Sunflora plant in Ecruteak City.

"What!!!", shouts Blair who then growls at TR, "You guys are complete phonies!!!" TR looks stunned for a second until they regain their confident demeanor. Many many guards then approach the balloon while Blair threatens them, "If you think you can scam me, then you've got more trouble coming than you can ever imagine!!! Now who are you?" TR chuckles mocking the criminal loser boy and they then go into motto form.

"Trouble? If you want to know then prepare for trouble!", claims Jessie with her eyes shut looking down somewhat like the way they hymned the motto in the really early episodes.
"You got fooled by our show so make it double", claims Jame looking out at Blair and his thugs.
"To protect the world from devastation"
"To unite all peoples within our nation"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love"
"To extend our reach to the stars above"
"Jessie", revealing that she's most certainly not male (Male readers pop a boner right about here.)
"James", revealing the disturbing news to the plant workers that he/she's not a woman.
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!"
"Meowth, that's right", finishes Meowth though all he can do to add to the show is throw off his construction hat.

"I've never heard of you three before...", figures Blair as TR looks confused and tries to figure out what he means. "Hah hah hah hah hah.... so you guys think you're real Team Rocket playas?!", then sneers Blair. "What are you talking about, of course we're Team Rocket players", yells James all too eager to yell out that he's a playa (Which is actually bad news for rocketshippers cuz we all know he's anything but a playa with Jessie). "You want to see a real Team Rocket bawler? Then get a load of this!!!", declares Blair as he rips off his North Face jacket to reveal a black TR shirt on him to shock J, J, & M and the entire security force there as well.

"Daaaaah! He's wit TR, too! Just as low as da tree of us!", gasps Meowth. "That's right.... and I'm sure you three morons have never undertaken a scheme like this", boasts Blair. James angrily grits his teeth (I'm sure you're all running in fear...) at the suddenly revealed TR member. But then Jessie cooks up another scheme and admonishes Blair, "That's true.... but what if the boss ever found out you were hauling Sunflora for yourself and not him?"

"Da Boss??!!", jumps Meowth, "But he's gonna wondah about all da machines dat we....", as he then gets his face planted into the balloon ground via Jessie's boot. "Ahahahaaahh! Now if you don't want to get in trouble with the boss, you'll be a good boy and let us have these Sunflora!", laughs Jessie as they begin to fly the balloon and the net of Sunflora away. "Or else we'll go right to the boss and rat you out!", adds James acting like an eager subordinate for the boss..................................

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................................DON'T MAKE ME SAY IT AGAIN!!!

But Blair is not willing to cooperate with our favorite anti-heroes as they laugh away with their Sunflora horde. He takes out a handfuls of ninja stars (somehow not cutting his hands into ribbons), yells, "You're not going to outdo me!!", and he then chucks the stars. TR shouts nervously at the stars coming their way.... one just breezes by them narrowly missing Meowth. After Meowth begs, "Not my whiskas!!!", we see the second star rip TR's balloon and the third star, inconveniently for TR, rips apart TR's net scattering the Sunflora free as they happily wander around through the nearby forest.

"Not another untimely shot!!!", shouts Jessie in disgust losing the Sunflora horde. "I feel like a hapless member of the Denver Nuggets", quips James as their balloon rockets just above the treetops of the nearby forest. "Well at least we get ta have anotha fun ride inta da sunset", utters Meowth in conclusion as we watch the happy buddha-faced Meowth balloon bobble and zip away but unlike most other times, the balloon doesn't get far off the ground and so we just watch TR shouting and zipping through the forest.

Blair sees the Sunflora scatter into the forest so he informs that to his little soldiers since apparently they're all blind and need directions from him. He then orders them, "Go get all those Sunflora back!", as the jolly old fat guy stands behind him with his arms folded for......... um...... I guess enforcement. But then a voice yells back at him saying, "You're gonna get back nothing!!" It turns out to be Crystal with Justin and her pokemon all staring down Blair to stop his operation.

"You again??.......Haven't you learned your lesson??", wonders Blair. Justin first comments, "Well I guess it shows that you're wearing your true colors now!", alluding to his TR shirt. "But were here to take you down!!!", he then shouts. "Any moment now, the police we contacted will be here and you'll all go to jail where you deserve to go!", shouts Crystal passionately voicing her disapproval of outside drug trading rings. "Saaashrew!!", enforces Sandshrew.

"Well I guess we're gonna have to show you why you shouldn't mess with us again!", quips Blair and has his deputy's pokemon take care of them. Crystal fights back by having Sandshrew blind the pokemon by using its sandstorm attack. Thus, none of the attacking pokemon can get to Crystal, Justin, Pikachu, or Sandshrew. Crystal then has Pikachu use its thunder attack to shock the dozens of attacking pokemon.

Blair reenforces the pokemon shouting at everyone not to give in. Justin is undeniably nervous since they're still up against 100 ANGRY PISSED OFF POKEMON AND THEIR TRAINERS who were unceremoniously attacked by Sandshrew and Pikachu. "Uh Crystal.... now what do we do??", quivers Justin as his less nervous, more heroic female partner proclaims, "Just hang in there.... we have to hold off until Officer Jenny and the police come!" I guess Officer Jenny was too lazy and corrupt to ACTUALLY ACCOMPANY THE WITNESSES TO THE CRIME SCENE AND FOLLOW POLICY.

Ya gotta love those pokemon world law enforcers.....

But the two of them direct their attention to the yelling of a bossy, gangsta, high-school aged girl. "LET ME GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!", cries a voice far off in the distance. That's when the twerps recognize, "That sounds like Misty!!!", and Pikachu also cries out, "Pika!", in recognition. And so Crystal declares that they have to run away from the attackers and go see what's wrong with Misty.

So we then go to the scene where more security guards are forcibly dragging Misty out of the water. <sigh>............................ I wonder where they could possibly be taking her...... But then Crystal, Justin, and Mr. and Mrs. Sandshrew race over and witness Misty being manhandled (THIS IS YOUR VERY LAST WARNING!!!!). "Hey! Leave Misty alone!", demands Crystal racing out of the Sunflora farm. Blair then races in after the twerps along with the convoy he's rollin' with to see what's happening.

"Boss! We captured this redhead tryin to sneak past our territory again", says the one guard sounding like a tough guy. The guy tries to hold Misty by her skinny arm to try and subdue her. Now... we all know that that's a HUGE mistake and thus, we then see Misty shouting to let her go and she kicks the guard near the groin area and she escapes to join her fellow twerps. Blair then steps forward with a sinister look on his face as he then growls. "You three and your pokemon don't know what trouble you got yourself into! And now.... it's gonna cost you dearly", growls Blair as he gets out some more of those ninja stars without cutting his hands. He then flings them at the threesome as they shout and dread for their life. And it looks like the stars are certain to penetrate their insides except................ except...................

......................... except for Goldeen!!! Goldeen returns at a very opportune moment and blasts away all of the ninja stars thrown by Blair. The threesome then turns around wondering why they weren't decapitated and they see Goldeen defiantly swimming in the river to Misty's delight (Ok.... well its looks defiant for a fruity looking Goldeen which means it doesn't look defiant). "Goldeen.... you're alright!", yells Misty as she rushes over to Goldeen to pet it and give it her love, "Oooohhhhh... you had me so worried!".

"Well we can take care of your pathetic Goldeen, too!", cuts in Blair, "A wandering piece of fish bait can't stop me!!!" Misty first gets nervous before showing her usual rage and grumbling at Blair while kneeling besides Goldeen in the river. But then, hundreds of Goldeens and Seakings pop up behind Goldeen as reinforcements as Goldeen has apparently won over the local river gang.

"Look..... Goldeen brought the entire group with it!", points out Justin. "All right, Goldeen!", yells Crystal in her best attempt at being a cheerleader. "What the heck is going on here??!", shouts Blair as the Goldeens and Seakings then unleash their water guns to bust some Sunflora cash crop producing ass. The water guns tags security, their pokemon, and Blair forcing them backwards landing on their arses. "Let's finish this..... you ready Crystal?", shouts Misty. "Yeah!", answers Crystal as Misty then orders Goldeen to get its group to use their water guns. Crystal then orders Pikachu to attack with the Goldeens using its thunder attack.

Pikachu's electricity combines with the water guns from the Goldeens and Seakings to fry dozens of dope dealing, trash talking thugs. Thus, Pikachu used his resources and his help to triumph over dozens of pokemon and nightstick armed security guards.

........ and all you haters called Pikachu shitty, weak, and horrible..... well remember this next time you wanna talk trash to its face.

"Oh Goldeen..... the others in here have finally accepted you!", proclaims Misty putting her hands on Goldeen caressing the scaly fish thingy. "Shrew shrew!", says Sandshrew in happiness. "It looks like Goldeen has taken a real liking to this new group", observes Crystal. Misty pauses her smiling for a moment to worry about Goldeen leaving her for this group.... but then the airheadedness of being a teenage girl gets to her and she resumes smiling and petting her Goldeen.

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon?? (This pokemon seems pretty horny for one that doesn't have a body.)

It's Misdreavus!!!! ............................. "Miiiiisssddrrreeeee!"

Back from the commercial break we witness........................ heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!

Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrre's Officer Jenny...... and she's with a huge convoy. And to think........ they weren't doing their jobs.......... could you imagine that??! She then announces that all the people involved with the Sunflora operation are going directly to jail (Whew...... I was worried for a moment. I thought she'd let them go in a New York City slum where they'd wreak havoc on the ghetto children. She also informs them that all the Sunflora that were held captive at the fort have scattered into the forest and have found shelter there even though they didn't do any investigative research to make sure that they'll survive in the wilderness. Once again......... who woulda thought that they wouldn't be doing their jobs.

Crystal and Justin continue to chatter with Ms. Jenny while Misty still sits with Goldeen with the other Goldeens and Seakings watching its back. "I can't believe it Goldeen. After all this time, you've finally found some friends and have overcome your shyness", states Misty with Pikachu by her side as Goldeen replies, "Goldeen goldeen." "That's great..... would you like to stay here with your friends? We're really close to home so we can come back for you soon if you want", says Misty even though they always move around so they're not really near Goldeen's group of fish thugs.

Goldeen lets her know that she wants to remain with her newly found friends as she has finally found approval with a group just like many other long time rejects. "Misty, are you sure you want to release Goldeen? You guys have been together for a very long time", wonders Justin. Misty gets all........ well....... misty-eyed as she explains, "Goldeen was one of the first pokemon my sisters gave me and I really don't want to lose her. But here, she's with a family..... and I couldn't ask for any more for my pokemon than a sense of completeness." She then gets back to the other threesome members to be consoled by them.............

Ain't it niced to be consoled like that by your significant partners???

Misty and the others wave good-bye to Goldeen as one of the Goldeens and one of the Seakings go up to a sentimental Goldeen to tell it something like 'Are y'all done here, we wanna go mug dem bastard Remoraid who ripped off ourz planktonz from my bruthas'. So the Goldeen group dive underwater and swims off upstream as Misty looks on proud of her pokemon understudy.

And thus, Goldeen f*cks off eliminating one more useless pokemon from the threesome's arsenal so the twerps can move on and Crystal can settle down to go smoke another bowl. Next up for dis f*cked up escapade.... Cerulean City and a visit with Misty's older, more attractive sisters. But the real issue is.... how will Misty break this to her partners? And what.... oh WHAT will Justinn do when he sees these three temptresses?? And will college ever, EVER get more interesting? And can I ever find a reasonable hour to go to bed and wake up in the damn morning?? Oh sorry.... went too far...... I'll stop!