Dragonitemare presents

Pokemon Crystal series

Ep. 33

Ahhhhhh.......... good morning everybody......... what a nice rest I had to sleep on the last episode. It was such a pleasant sleep filled with dreams of poppies....................................poppies................... poppies.......................... ***falls back into bed and immediately gets back up*** But as you'll recall from last night (or last time if you didn't read the last one last night), Crystal headed to the Cerulean City gym to challenge the leader for a Kanto League cascade badge. The only problem was the gym's leader, Misty, chose not to follow Cris-tal into the gym.

So Justin accompanies Crystal and enters the gym where Misty's dimwitted sisters think they're related (which brings up an interesting question..... how much weed do they smoke?). While they're checking out all of the water pokemon in the aquarium............. surprise...................... surprise....................... surprise......... TR attacks with a powerful Pikachu shaped robot. Their electric power and aquatic abilities wipe out most of the gym's pokemon until................... it's mighty Misty to the rescue as her sisters end up revealing their relationship with Misty! Crystal and Justin have a cloudy mind for a moment after hearing this until the truth finally gets to them.

With the help of her old friend and steroid addict Horsea, Misty helps defeat TR and save the Cerulean City Gym. Misty then lays down a challenge to Crystal making her get through the redheaded water pokemon princess in order to obtain the cascade badge. Justin stays close to the Waterflowers...... ahem......... as Misty and Crystal, two really good friends (with the possibility of a growing relationship), get ready to square off. Hang on to your James-tight panties, this one's gonna be a slobberknocker......

<cue intro>

Crystal, Sandshrew, and Misty give each other long deep looks while the Waterflower sisters are greatful that Misty is back so they can concentrate more time on beauty stuff. The dodgy part of this is when Justin responds, "Like, totally! "After the humour comes the serious confrontation where Crystal is skeptical and asks Misty if she's a real gym leader at Cerulean City. Misty responds that not only has she defended the gym before, but she has won many matches there and tries to lie to Crystal that she's even beaten Ash. But Daisy catches Misty trying to boost her ego and responds, "Like, you didn't win that match..." Misty reasons, "Well I was the dominant trainer in that draw so it's close enough to a win for me. I don't get into particulars", as a pretty weak excuse.

"Besides...... I later beat him again to win the Whirlpool Cup... that proves my superior ability", sneers Misty at her less talented (but better looking) sisters. "You also got beat by Ash over the battle for Totodile..... he told me about that", corrects Justin. Embarassed, Misty tells Justin, "Ixnay on the battle history-ay!"

Misty then explains the rules.... and she points out that since Crystal's "a really good friend", she gives their partnership some slack and goes easy on her. She tells Crystal that she only has to win two of the four one-on-one matches to win the cascade badge. "That's no problem..... you'll soon see why I'm worthy to be in the Kanto League and why I'm the better trainer!", answers Crystal in a somewhat dodgy CAML statement.

"That's very tough of you Crystal, but now I'm going to show you what the big time is all about", shouts Misty who is still clutching Horsea. It looks eerily reminiscent of Togepi the way Misty squeezes it before Misty places it in the aquarium tank and tells it that it's up to battle. "You're going to use Horsea???", yells Violet. "You haven't like, even battled with it for a couple of years", adds Daisy. "That's no problem, Horsea and I will get along just fine, won't we Horsea?", shouts back Misty. Horsea briefly neighs before waiting for its opponent in the water.

".... and you three (sisters) better not even think about telling my friends any embarrassing childhood stories!! Got it?", yells Misty. "Like, no problem Misty", responds Daisy when Justin turns and leans towards her and asks, "Soooooo.... uuuuhhhhh... are gonna finish the story about Misty jumping on the high chair and breaking it resulting in her hair turning green when her head landed on the jelly sandwich?" "Oh my God, I almost forgot to tell you about like, how she tried to wash it out with Edge shave gel...", responds Daisy as she spills more beans to Justin about Misty ignoring the little sister's useless warning.

Dem warning just don't work against older siblings..... Misty's got it all wrong.

Before the match, we cut to TR stranded in the middle of a forest with Jessie crutching over and (patience male dodgers...... patience...) James and Meowth doing the same while they're surronded by the wreckage of the Pikachu-bot. "Oooohhhhhhhhh! We can't even win with our very own Pikachu!!!", shouts Jessie angrily. "Dat's because we only 'ad a buncha coicuitry", adds Meowth.

They then notice James shaking and stirring..... he seems rather upset at the most recent transpirings. He then stands up yells boldly............................................... "I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE............... I'M GAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!" And thus..... he lets the whole world of little kiddie pokemon fans his true feelings.....

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.......................... PSYCH!!!!! PSYCH PSYCH PSYCH!!!!!

Ok, he doesn't annouce his homosexuality (does he really need to??) but he does whine, "I knew this stint was a bad idea.... it failed! Everything failed!!!" "There's no way your ludicrous plans would ever succeed against those twerps..... all of 'em!!!!", he goes on to proclaims boldly. "Well at least I'm tryin' ta do my job here unlike you!!!", shouts back Meowth. "That's right, James! Besides..... do you have any ideas of how we could steal their pokemon??", wonders Jessie loudly.

"Actually... I do!", says James. "Haw??" go Jessie and Meowth as Jessie then asks him what it is. "Maybe we don't have the luck to beat those twerps... but if they're busy with their gym battle, then maybe we don't have to confront them", schemes James. "What d'ya mean?", asks Meowth. James reminds them of the size of the Cerulean City Gym's aquarium and that while the twerps are in one room, they can enter unabided in another part of the aquarium and help themselves to all the water pokemon they want.

"James....... that's the best idea I've heard out of you in at least a year!", compliments Jessie getting turned on by the sexy and femininely beautiful James. "While dem twoips are fightin' we can just walk inta da gym unabated and steal all da pokemon we want!", says Meowth announcing their plan. "Well what are we waiting for..... those bratty girls are probably starting their battle now. Let's get a move on!!!", orders Jessie resuming her groups leadership as James and Meowth obey her.

Crystal then chooses Totodile to battle the coot, neighing Horsea but Crystal has lost sight of Totodile. She calls for it and everyone turns to see Totodile putting on a one gator circus show for the rest of the aquatic pokemon and Justin's street tough Raticate. "Uh Totodile..... that's really a great show but I'd appreciate it if you'd come and battle now!", shouts Crystal somewhat disturbed by the energy of Totodile. Totodile is even more eager to battle than do tricks and zips over to the pool and growls down at the harmless looking Horsea.

Totodile uses its bite attack to start off the battle but Horsea avoids it at the behest of Misty using its agility. Totodile then shakes its body around wildly to refocus and fire a water gun that Horsea just barely dodges. Horsea then attacks with a mud slap attack getting Totodile right in the eyes. Fortunately though for Totodile, he has an ingenious idea to get the mud off with the clever tactic of.......................................................................... ................................................ trying to dance it off!!!!!!! Oh well........ brains aren't the wily water pokemon's strong points...... but I still love it.

Crystal then has it wash off the mud by diving into the water. But while Totodile is in the water washing off the sludge, it gets assaulted with a bubble attack leaving Totodile splashing furiously in the water. Crystal says they have to generate some offense now and she tells Totodile to use rage attack. Oh wonderful........ a psychotic Totodile using rage........ we've reached hummingbird speed here people. "Whoa.... like, that Totodile has more energy than Richard Simmons on sugar", comments Daisy and the sisters all react, "Ewwwwwwwwwww!", as Justin watches the battle with a sweat drop on his head.

Totodile then uses its speed to catch up to Horsea and its bite attack to sink its teeth into Horsea (GETCHA MIND OUTTA DA GUTTA!). Now a seemingly feeble looking pokemon like Horsea should probably give in after a vicious bite from Totodile that would devastate many pokemon. Misty yells in concern for Horsea thinking it might be through. But Horsea eventually regroups to the surprise of Totodile, who halts its victory dance, and the rest of the crowd. The tiny, spunky little seahorse then gives Totodile a dirty look like it took some illegal performance enhancing substance before the match (maybe the mystery HAS been solved) and Totodile growls back.

"Just keep battling, Totodile! Use your water gun!", encourages Crystal whom fears no steroid. Totodile uses its insanely powerful, rage-boosted water gun which nails Horsea making Crystal believe that that should win it. But Horsea isn't budging after this attack either which may prove its steroid use before the battle. Horsea is still going very strongly as Misty laughs, "You're not going to beat me or Horsea that easily.... Horsea! headbutt attack!" Horsea darts towards Totodile, who tries to use its boundless energy to escape but to no avail. Horsea headbutts Totodile with some chemical help...... but since there aren't any drug tests in the pokemon world (ideal for potheads.... like Cris-tal), Totodile stops moving its limbs around wildly and falls into the drink unable to battle giving Horsea the victory.

"We did it, Horsea!", cheers Misty as she grabs it to celebrate and Horsea neighs back in delight. "I can't believe how tough that Horsea of Misty's is...", remarks Justin who's now had more than enough time to flirt with the valley girl sisters. "Like, I had no idea either....", responds Lilly, "Now do you wanna hear about, like, Misty's art class tantrum or not?" "Sure..", answers Justin who seems kind of shocked that the Waterflowers would go this far to embarass their sister. But nonetheless, he lets them spill the beans.

Crystal then grrrrr's and warns Misty with a smirk, "It's getting beyond friendly, now! It's become personal!!! And since you like to prove how great you are at training water pokemon.... I'm going to make it your downfall here!!! Go Pikachu!" Pikachu leaps out onto the little pad on the aquarium pool while Misty looks on not even worried about facing Pikachu, who should be one of Misty's most feared rivals........... but she's not scared.

Meanwhile, at the entrance to the Cerulean City Gym, TR decides to have al little fun with the lack of security. "Ahah-hah...... there's no one even here to observe any of the pokemon....", laughs Jessie. "An da door's wide open...", adds Meowth. "Even the most vile of villains like us can enter in here and steal all the aquarium's pokemon without any trouble....", comments James. "In fact....", he adds, "I could probably play the security guard!!!", as he then dons a security uniform and moustache.

"Excuse me... but who are you?? We need to know because we only want the best for our gym's pokemon", says James in a weakly disguised voice that sounds more like his gay-ass self than an actual security guard. Jessie boldly tells the 'security bouncer' that they're ruthless villains here to steal all the aquarium's pokemon and asks James if security will let them through. "Well now, I see that you're with the high class crook group Team Rocket.... guess I'll have to let you through!", responds James in his mockery of a disguised voice. "All right!!", shout Jessie and Meowth as they happily march into the vacant gym building with Meowth saying, "Time ta help ourselves ta some pokemon!!!".

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon?? (Cool.... this boulder pokemon's got four arms..... too much for even that maniac Tyson.)

It's Graveler................................... "Graveleeeeer!!!"

Pikachu leaps out onto the battle pool ready to tear some water pokemon ass. "So Pikachu's up now..... okay", says Misty calmly. Pikachu looks up confused at Misty as Crystal asks, "I guess you know you'll lose now!" "I don't know about that....... I have my personal secret weapon for facing Pikachu", responds Misty. "You do?", shouts Crystal as Pikachu looks up and nervously pleads, "Pi-pikaaaa." "That's right Pikachu.... you get to battle against your very good friend. Go Togetic!!", says Misty as she initiates somewhat of a rematch from the last encounter between the two secret adversaries.

"Togetic??", wonders Cris-tal, "Wait.... Togetic's a flying pokemon. Pikachu should still have no problem." But then she looks out at the pool and sees Pikachu unwillingly staring at a happy Togetic. "Pikachu.... let's show it how unstoppable you really are!", encourages Crystal. But Pikachu must have past nightmares about the freaky egg thingy because it looks nervous and is sweating in fear about having to face Togetic.

Crystal looks on nervously as it seems that Pikachu doesn't want to battle. "Pikachu... are you alright.... I won't make you battle Misty if you don't want to", says Crystal but Pikachu doesn't want to let its new loving, drug and mate providing master down so Pikachu shakes its head and stays out over the battle pool. Misty tells Togetic to give Pikachu a hug recreating the horror that was Pikachu vs. Togepi.

Togetic hugs Pikachu as Crystal can only look on in disbelief. Misty then orders Togetic to use the all dreaded charm attack. "Pikachu, no!", yells out Crystal fearing that Pikachu may become enslaved to Togetic's love just like it was enslaved to Togepi's. But for a split second, Pikachu must've relived the horror in his brain. And its horrifying enough that Pikachu didn't want to go back so it nervously charges up yelling, "Piiiiiiiiiiii........ kaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh.......", as Misty looks on with an evil smile on her face and Crystal looking on in concern.

"CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!", goes Pikachu as electric energy surges out of its body. The energy is so huge that Crystal barely avoids its after cheering for Pikachu's attack...... Justin and the Waterflower sisters have their flirting session interrupted and they barely dodge the thunderbolts. But inside the pool, we see the carnage as Togetic floats on the pool surface like a dead body as Pikachu still looks nervous afraid that she upset Misty.

Violet, standing on the referee's podium declares Togetic, like, unable to battle and Pikachu like, the winner. Pikachu looks up apologetically at Misty, sorry that it hurt her feelings. Then, Crystal cheers and congratulates Pikachu telling it that she understands why it didn't want to fight Misty or Togetic but she's glad that Pikachu did that for her. Yeah........ Pikachu also short circuited the building for Crystal............ and its newly gained mental freedom ever since Togepi was vanquished. Pikachu then runs back over to her and then Sandshrew who.............. "congratulates" it some more.

TR by now has gotten deep into the aquarium underbelly......... which means they're in a big aquarium room adjacent to the one that the twerps and Waterflowers are in. J, J, & M are looking at the tank of Goldeen and Seaking and are beaming about how all of them look so strong. Meowth adds that that is why they're all the better to steal from. They then get all their beautiful looking (everything has to be beautiful looking for TR) pink scuba equipment that TR equips as they prepare to dive into the Seaking tank to begin their heist.

They swim through the tank netting all the Goldeen and Seaking they can and they obviously begin to gloat about their plan. "James.... I have to admit... after all these years of being the TR loser, you've finally come up with the winning scheme!", comments Jessie through an audio device that lets them all speak underwater. "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBUUUUHHHFFFEET!", screams Wobbuffet saluting while somehow floating through the water...... ahh, the magic of the patiently pleased one. "Even you could done a better job of security at this place than those unfashionable ditzes did...", comments Jessie towards Wobbuffet. Wobbuffet continues to salute and utter, "Wooooobbbuuuhhh wooobbb!", until it can no longer hold its breath. Wobbuffet holds its nose, turns red from lack of oxygen (or argon..... who knows what pokemon breathe....), and is forced to float to the surface.

"Oh well......... I guess our Wobbuffet needs it own scuba gear next time....", comments Jessie. "Eitha dat or it needs kiddy swimmin lessins!", quips Meowth. "Well its certainly not using my scuba equipment!!", states James to assert the dodgyness of his love for the pink suit he's wearing. "Ah well...... at least dere aren't even any twoips ta bother us", says Meowth, "..... an its great dat we're in da tank wit homless pokemon so we don't hafta deal with scary water pokemon predatuhs like.................. big................ scary................ hungry................. fairocious.............. GYARADOOOOOOOOOSS!" Meowth ends up quivering at the end as they notice the unexpected presence of two big mean Gyarados looking ominously at the beautiful looking trio (maybe that's what they want....) which results in the three of them panicking.

"We gotta get awaaayyy!", freaks James. This makes Meowth in a flash of terror notice James's true personality because he then shouts, "Fuh once I'm gonna side wit da sissy on dis one...", as they are all swimming away. "Let's swim for the ledge...", pleads Jessie but unfortunately, before they get to the ledge, one of the Gyarados cut them off to their horror. James then whines repeatedly, "I've always hated Gyarados..... I've always hated Gyarados..."

Jessie then takes charge and suggests that maybe if they attack together they can capture the Gyarados too and so she sends out Arbok. But then one of the Gyarados then attacks Arbok from behind knocking it into the water while the other Gyarados blasts TR with a powerful hyper beam to knocks them silly as they float in the water. "Well James..... so much for your plan...", mutters a dizzy Jessie as she floats gracefully into the pond as a passed out Wobbuffet is still able to salute as it floats behind Jessie.

Wobbuffet apparently must have good taste....

But the ultra-vicious Gyarados aren't done yet...... they begin to circle our heroes.... faster and faster they swim around TR as they create...... yep.... a vortex. "Now what are they doing to us?", wonders Jessie sounding funny from being battered. "Hopefully dere gonna eat us en end dis endless tortcha!", hopes Meowth. As they notice the whirlpool spinning around, James notices that it's their whirlpool attack and they scream as they begin to spin around and around........ around and around...... around and around........ around and around....... around and around. And then they final get flushed through the drain as the aquarium dries up leaving the netted Seaking and Goldeen to dry up and potentially die....... how thoughtless, wicked, and cruel!!!!! Just like Jessie would hope to be....

"Looks like Team Rocket's going down the draaaaaaaaiiin!!!" "Woooooooobbb".... and down they go.

Misty declares then that Crystal got lucky and that won't happen in the next round. But Crystal responds that unlike herself, Misty has ran out of luck and she sends out Sandshrew onto the pool island to battle, separating it from a love session with Pikachu. "Sandshrew?", questions Misty as Daisy wonders why Crystal would send Sandshrew out to battle even though its weak against water. "Normally, I'd agree with ya, but that no ordinary Sandshrew", points out Justin.

Crystal then brags about Sandshrew saying that she knows Sandshrew better than any other pokemon and that her Sandshrew is battle tested and has just as much chance to win here as any other pokemon. The Waterflowers are impressed as Daisy comments that it's like, the toughest Sandshrew they've ever seen. But Misty smirks and responds, "Well if you're going to make things interesting, don't forget that I can be really clever, too!", not to be upstaged in her own gym.

Then then uses the third person to describe herself as she yells, "For this round, Misty chooses......... Psyduck!!!" And out comes the eternally conufused fowl. Psyduck leaps out in joy before hopping onto its designated platform, tilting and holding its head in confusion. "Like, that Psyduck's gonna battle?", wonders Lilly. "I don't think it even it knows where it is", comments Justin whom the two girls are looking up at.

"Hah..... your Psyduck isn't even ready to battle... and Sandshrew and I aren't stupid enough to give it a headache", comments Crystal. But Misty smiles brightly at her friend and adversary and replies, "Maybe not.... but you'll have to attack Psyduck eventually to win", replies Misty. Crystal gasps and realizes Misty's right and Crystal then tries to focus all the chemicals in her brain to try and figure out how to attack Psyduck. "Uh .... okay Sandshrew...... umm.... let's try your slash attack", figures Crystal as Sandshrew leaps from one side of the pool to the other tagging Psyduck.

But the slash doesn't even phase Psyduck as it continues to hold its head with the slash marks visible on its head. "Uhhhhhhh..... give your sand attack a try", suggests Crystal as Sandshrew emits sand from his sand glands and the sand scares Psyduck enough that it doesn't want to get sand in its eyes. The attack chases Psyduck into the water where the sand gets in its eyes anyway. Psyduck desperately tries to stay above water as it panics, "Psy-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y", and so on while it makes Sandshrew hold HIS OWN head in confusion.

"This is beyond redemption", monotonously states Justin. "Like, there's no way I could handle a Psyduck like Misty's", adds Daisy. Psyduck continues to swim in panic until it pulls itself out of the water and onto the other platform to stop Misty from shaking its head. Crystal suggests that maybe they can win if Sandshrrew uses a skull bash attack while Pikachu cheers its boyfriend on. So Sandshrew powers up as its frontside starts to glow. As Sandshrew aims towards Psyduck, Misty yells at it to stop daydreaming and get out of the way.

Psyduck looks puzzledly at Misty and turns around while holding its head and receives a head to head blow from Sandshrew sending Psyduck flying backwards where it hits its head again on the plexiglass surrounding the battle pool. Psyduck then lands around the side of the pool and begins to run around the edge like a maniacal racehorse to the infuriation of Misty. Crystal then tries to have Sandshrew calm it down by using a toxic attack..... but Psyduck's racing around the pool so fast that he avoids the poisonous venom.

"PSYDUCK..... STOP EMBARASSING ME!", screams Misty. And on command, Psyduck halts, holds its head in tremendous pain before looking up and................................. its eyes become a shade of powerful, kick your ass blue. "Like, now what's happening to Psyduck?", wonders Lilly. "Psyduck's headache has gotten really bad....... now it can use its powerful attacks!", explains Justin.

"Sandshrew.... don't let it get you... dive into the water!", shouts Crystal and Sandshrew dives into the water which should hurt a ground type like Sandshrew but since Sandshrew is strong enough, it can handle swimming. Psyduck is then ordered to use a confusion attack and Psyduck's psychic power is able to penetrate the surface of the water and bring Sandshrew out of hiding. Psyduck then tosses Sandshrew up towards the ceiling and back down into the water.

Sandshrew lands back back into the pool seemingly defeated while Misty smiles on knowing that she's winning. But Crystal's bitch ain't goin out like that!!! Sandshrew leaps out of the water bruised and battered as it stares down Psyduck. Crystal then has Sandshrew use another toxic attack while Psyduck is ordered to use a disable attack. Sandshrew leaps up to poison Psyduck but then nothing comes out of Sandshrew since the attack was disabled by Psyduck. "Sandshrew, no!!!", yells Crystal worrying while Sandshrew plunges into the water. Misty then has Psyduck use a big finale with its psychic attack. Psyduck taps into its head for some more headach power and then forces Sandshrew to crash into the ceiling and back down into the pool where after a few tense seconds, Sandshrew pops back to the surface ko'd and unable to battle.

Guess it'd be pretty tough to argue against Psyduck being Misty's best pokemon now!

Violet declares Psyduck the winner as Crystal picks up Sandshrew at the edge of the pool. Crystal apologizes and is sorry there was nothing she could do. A weakened Sandshrew looks up at Crystal like a helpless baby and utters, "Saaa-shrew!" Crystal then utters a very dodgy statement that'll make perverts howl with delight as she tells Sandshrew to go take a nice, long rest with Pikachu.

See.... losing isn't all that bad for Sandshrew and Pikachu?

Crystal and Misty then look at each other and Misty tells Crystal, "I warned you that you had a long way to go.... and to be ready for any surprise! Now it's leading to your downfall", as Misty has her arms folded. Crystal then retorts back at Misty, "That's true, Misty! But it doesn't matter what you throw at me, I came here for reason and one reason only. And that was to win a Kanto League cascade badge...... I still have one chance and I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure I win this round!"

Misty then says that it's very righteous for Crystal to go all out to beat her but Misty claims that she still hasn't proven that she's a better trainer than Crystal and that she must do that in this next battle. "Well I'm gonna prove that I'm better!", shouts Crystal and Misty shouts back, "I'm better!!!" They shout back and forth that they're better making Justin comment to Daisy and Lilly, "You know, if they get anymore into this, this battle will never end." "She might even be like, more into battling Crystal than that boyfriend (in other words, Ash) she used to bring here and fight with!", states Daisy.

"You're getting me angry, Misty...... and I'm at my best when I'm angry!", Crystal makes sure to inform Misty. Misty shouts back, "Well..... I'll just have to beat you at your best now, won't we?" Crystal and Misty get focused and then throw out their final round pokemon and yell, "GO!!!" Bulbasaur comes out for Crystal and Staryu comes out with a 'HYA!!!' for Misty. Crystal then decides to tease Misty some more stating, "Aw Misty... how could you make such a mistake... oh I forgot.... you only have water pokemon left. Bulbasaur would've beaten anything you could put out."

Misty just sneers back, "I just feel bad for Bulbasaur... because my water pokemon have the home pool advantage that means Bulbasaur would lose no matter what." Crystal then realizes the huge aquatic advantage that Staryu has and silently utters, "Uh oh." Staryu is ordered to use a rapid spinning tackle which tags Bulbasaur. Bulbasaur then tries to counter with razor leaf but Staryu makes some clever moves to avoid it and then Staryu dives underwater at the behest of Misty.

Misty then brags to Crystal, "Now that Staryu's underwater, Bulbasaur's grass attacks are useless since they can't penetrate the water surface..... didn't think of that now, did you?" Crystal then thinks to herself that Misty's right and that she has to wait for Staryu to pop out of the water. Staryu then pops out and quickly hits Bulbasaur with a water gun followed by a swift attack. But the surly, badass Bulbasaur hangs in there and Crystal tells it to try a vine whip. Bulbasaur is able to get a whip or two on Staryu before it disappears back into the water.

This intense action turns Justin away from the ladies for the first time and towards the sporting action (just like most men today). "This is a great final battle... don't you say ladies?", asks Justin. "Like, I guess these two know how to put up a great battle against each other...", quips Daisy. Crystal then yells at Misty claiming that Staryu can't hide in the water all day. "Oh I don't know about that....", claims Misty.

Bulbasaur's lily pad begin to spin around and around as Staryu is using its rapid spin from underwater. The force of the current spins Bulbasaur around really fast and eventually makes the tough grass type dizzy. Cris-tal pleads for Bulbasaur to hang on and don't give in as Staryu then emerges from the water. Crystal yells for Bulbasaur to use razor leaf but its still too dizzy to fire accurately to the despair of Crystal.

Misty then coaches Staryu, "Okay Staryu, let's win this with your new trick..... ice beam!!!" "Ice beam?? That's bad for Bulbasaur..... and it can't even move to avoid it. This might be it...", panics Crystal who then stares out towards the pool and utters, "WAIT A SECOND!!! Bulbasaur use your vine whip.... extend it towards the rafters!!" Bulbasaur uses its vine whips on the ceiling to steer itself out of the way of a couple of ice beams.

Crystal then picks up on something else and tells Bulbasaur to stop while Misty gets Staryu ready. "Bulbasaur, use your solar beam..... quickly!", shouts Crystal. "I'm afraid your too late.... Staryu, ice beam now!", replies Misty. Staryu charges up an ice beam when all of a sudden...........................................................

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............................................. WHAM!!!! Bulbasaur's solar beam fires really quickly and just with one big blow, Staryu is left floating with its charm in the middle blinking which indicates that it's ko'd. "Staryu is like, unable to battle. Bulbasaur is the winner", declares Violet. Justin and the Waterflowers cheer Crystal for her victory as Crystal congratulates Bulbasaur, "Way to go, Bulbasaur. I knew that spot of sunlight would speed up your solar beam." Crystal then looks up as we do to see the hole that TR's Pikachu-bot created and the rays of sun beaming down onto a spot near the center of the pool.

"I can't believe you outhought me like that, Crystal", smarts Misty. But Crystal consoles her claiming, "Well... its not like I'm able to think clearly everyday. That battle could've went either way." No kidding she can't think clearly everyday...... make of her statement what you will. "Maybe so...", answers Misty as Staryu floats lifelessly towards her. "Oh Staryu.... (Misty picks it up) I'm so sorry, Staryu. It wasn't your fault out there.... you were great", compliments Misty as Staryu can only reply with a tired, "Hya."

"Well Crystal.... you like, proved a lot to us... The beautiful Waterflower sisters..", starts Daisy. "You also proved a lot to Misty too!", interrupts Violet with Misty growling back at her. Daisy then continues, "Crystal... on behalf of the Cerulean City, we would like to present you with this." Daisy then brings out and gives Crystal the golden cascade badge. Crystal takes it and then flashes it towards the camera with Pikachu, Sandshrew, and Bulbasaur shouting with Crystal.

"Well Crystal.... you've earned it. But remember... this battle was a draw", warns Misty. "That's right.... and its going to make our next battle unforgettable", replies Crystal with a disturbingly bright smile on her face. "I hope you guys come back to our gym real soon", hopes Daisy. "Maybe you could even, like, watch our underwater ballet", adds Violet. Lilly then focuses her attention towards the cute guy (Justin) uttering, "And you're welcome to our shows whenever you like..."

The funny thing is.... she wasn't even talking about the ballets....

"Oh yeah... that reminds me... now that I'm back, is it okay if I take Horsea with me. I can tell it's been rejuvenated by staying here. And its much stronger now than it used to be..... so there's no problem if I bring it with me, right?", asks Misty. Violet answers, "I guess we can't like, stop you but................ uhh...." "But what?", asks Misty. "Like..... Horsea was one of our stars in the ballet. We'd need like, another top notch water pokemon to join us to keep our ballet successful.

"Hey I know.... like why don't you give us your Poliwhirl?", suggests Daisy. "What??.... Now wait a minute! You're not goin to swindle me out of any pokemon...", shouts Misty. The sisters look sad with their puppy dog eyes as Justin tries to mediate with Misty. He claims that its not that bad and that maybe Poliwhirl will get stronger if its with Misty's sisters for awhile. He adds that it isn't like she'd give Poliwhirl away to a bunch of strangers and that her sisters are family, even if they don't see each other very often.

So thanks to Justin's mediation and the Waterflower's pleading and persuasion, Misty finally relents and lets Poliwhirl stays with her sisters. "Like.... score!!!", celebrates Violet. "Poliwhirl will be like, really cool in our ballet. We promise, Misty!", tells Lilly. So then later on at the Cerulean City Gym entrance, the sisters are waving good-bye to the threesome.

"Like goodbye you guys...... feel free to come back any time you want", yells Daisy. "Especially you, Sandshrew.... Pikachu", then yells Lilly. "Thanks!", all yell the threesome. They then turn away from the threesome to ponder what their next journey may be. "I have to admit, Crystal. You're definitely for real...... you'll be a prime competitor for the Kanto League Championship with some more training", admits Misty. Cris-tal thanks her and replies that it means next time, she just might beat Misty.

Yeah.......... she just might beat Misty.................... to their first kiss. (This entire hopefullness for lesbianism has been brought to you by the sick side of my imagination.)

"That's charming Crystal but I don't think I'll be exposed like that again..... wouldn't you say, Justin?", replies Misty. Justin then proceeds to tell her, "Well..... there's still a lot we have to discover about you too, Misty......................... like the time you painted a Muppet mural on the aquarium's Gyarados tank." Misty shouts, "WHAT??!!!", at the smart alec older member of the threesome. "And how about the time you ate pudding for three days straight..... whatzup wit' dat?", adds Justin who apparently has no desire to live after the next five seconds.

"You started gossip with my sisters, didn't you?", shouts Misty. "Uh.... uhh..... please don't hurt me too much...... PLEASE??!!" Misty chases after him yelling, "I'll show you....." They leave Crystal behind who tells her confused pokemon, "Well..... one day they'll get a grip on life..... it just doesn't seem like today" Pikachu and Sandshrew confirm her words as the truth and Crystal gets them all to chase after Justin and Misty. And so they race off towards their next, pointless adventure.......... unknowingly followed by pokemon's ultimate stalker..... no, not TR....... but Ms. Donna Summer wannabe..... Jigglypuff.

But TR........ well as usual, they get left all washed up (pardon me for the pun-ishment) but they are about to have some bit of luck at the end today................. for once.......... well........ sort of. "So the sewage system from the gym sent us into the lake", notices James. "We've bin goin tru da sewuh so much dat I don't even care anymore", quips Meowth who must smell like a urinal from spending an eternity in the sewers.

Maybe that's why he doesn't get any from the ladies...... and why he's turning gay?? and to James????

This is when a mysterious, rather ugly looking pokemon pops up out of the water. It is a bluish pokemon with spikes all around its body and the thickest of thick lips. No... it's not a cultural shaman from sub-Saharan Africa, it is a Qwilfish as pointed out by Meowth. And it appears that Qwilfish has its eyes locked on James's hot bod.

..................... the rest is going to have to come from your dodgy minds on that one.

But in any event, TR is wondering what its doing and James doesn't look too thrilled at first glance. But Qwilfish persists and James gets a little more scared and even a little uncharacteristically angry. Finally, Qwilfish gets too close when it tries to go up to James to "scale a feel", if ya know what I mean. This ends up hurting James scaring the shy but apparently lovestruck Qwilfish back. James then shrills in pain and he then tries to shout angrily at the Qwilfish but of course, it just comes out as a dramatic and gay sounding tirade.

"What was the big idea poking me like that!?!?!", yells James, "Well how about I poke you with this stone!!!! Huh-ugh!", and he throws the projectile girlishly at Qwilfish as they both disappear beneath the surface momentarily. "James!!!", shouts Jessie. "What?? I was angry.... I had to throw a stone at that thing to stay away!", whines James. Jessie responds, "But that wasn't a stone........... that was a POKEBALL!!!" "Huh?!", wonders James as he sees the flashing red dot on his pokeball fade away to signify that he coincidentally caught Qwilfish.

"You caught that poor, innocent pokemon.... it didn't even want to do anything to you. Now thanks to you it's permanently part of our group!", chides Jessie with Wobbuffet floating and saluting on for dear life <sniff> and Arbok floating with them as well. "Don't cha have any feelins? You should hafta have pokemon sign a release bahfore dey gets caught by you", adds Meowth. "Oh well", grins James, "I guess I'll have to say.... my pokemon population just keeps growing out of nowhere..."

And out of nowhere pops up dozens of other Qwilfish pissed off that their brother was taken from their custody. Jessie notices that they don't look too thrilled while Meowth asks James sarcastically, "Ya got 85 more pokeballs ta catch all dese Qwilfish, too?" "No..... but we're about to have at least 85 more bruises.....", quips James as the first Qwilfish proceeds to charge forward to initiate the attack on TR as they all scream out in punishment........... just like a boys choir....

"Ahhhhhhhhhh" "Owwwwwww" "Chaaaaaaaaaaarrrrbookka" "Ooooooh Eeeeeeee!" "WOOOOOOOBBBUUUHH!!" They all scream randomly and perpetually as we leave them in their misery.