Dragonitemare presents

Pokemon Crystal series

Ep. 34

We catch up with our threesome as Crystal came off winning a Kanto League cascade badge at the expense of Misty. It looks like the two young ladies have made up just fine while Justin goes to work as the deli master hookin everyone up with a sandwich. "And lunch is served!!!", proclaims Justin as he presents his partners with delicious salami sandwiches............................................................................................................... GETCHA MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTA!!! He also hands out sandwiches to Sandshrew and Pikachu and tells them to chew only small bites. "Pikaaaa", cheers Pikachu as it receives the long deserved food its been waiting for.... as does Sandshrew.

"Boy I have to tell ya..... these sandwiches look really good!", says Crystal as they also get cans of Sunkists from Justin's cooler. Misty laughs, "Hmm heh heh, you're constantly in a good mood............. especially since you started this journey." Crystal is currently guzzling her soda and rummaging through mast likely illegal substances in the pouch of her knapsack. She then responds, "Well... huh huh.... I don't know if I'm always positive..... but I usually feel like I'm a giver and feel pleasant more often than usual." Sandshrew shouts out in agreement as crumbs of food splatter out of his full mouth. All of a sudden, a strange, unpleasant odor begins to creep towards the threesome's picnic site. Pikachu picks it up first and cringes its cute little nose (Pikachu's the cutest of the electric mouse family........................... BY FAR!!!!!) against the fowl stench of what smells like rotten eggs plus French underwear.

"It's such a beautiful day outside..... I can't believe how blue the sky is...", comments Misty as Cerulean City must only be used to cloudy skies just like Seattle. The lingering odor then creeps in towards the threesome. It makes Crystal stop as her nose almost twinges upward as she must be wondering 'Damn!! What did I pack in my special bag??'. "Uggggggggghhhh..... that smell is horrible!!!", whines Justin as Pikachu and Sandshrew cough in disgust. "What smells so bad???", wonders Crystal as Justin defends his catering abilities claiming it ain't the sandwiches. Misty then uses her head and tells the other non-brain-users, "It's something to do with this forest somewhere........ but what.... and where?? <coughs>"

<cue intro>

We then observe our other stinky trio....... commonly known as Team Rocket. Apparently, they've been walking through this stench for awhile now and they can't bear it anymore so they're walking through the woods with clothespins on their noses. "I can't stand this horrible smell anymore...", complains Jessie as Wobbuffet agrees with her walking behind her (why not.... it's only instinctual) holding the area that would be his nose with his flabby arms. "It smells like dis forest is in a urinal....", adds Meowth with Wobbuffet agreeing again. Jessie then yells at Wobbuffet to get back in its pokeball before it begins to stink along with the forest and Wobbuffet comes back into the pokeball.

"So how are we going to get out of this forest??", wonders James. Jessie answers that they'll just have to go the way they're going now and that they should be out of the forest pretty soon. "But is dat da quickest way outta ere?", wonders Meowth. "Uhhhhhhhhh..... I'm sure it has to be", believes Jessie. James then notices the sun shining brighter to their left so he proposes that maybe Jessie isn't right. "So which way should we go?", asks Jessie. James points and declares one way, Meowth points and shouts another way, and Jessie corrects them and points out a way of her own while Wobbuffet pops out again and points in his own direction.

This results in all four of them points in symmetrically different directions. Jessie calls back Wobbuffet as she then mopes, "Oh great.... we're totally lost and have no idea which way to go..." TR sags in despair while James quips, "This is depressing..... I really hope we get a happy omen soon...." But not to worry, for the happiest omen one could possibly get is coming their way. Out of the woodwork of the odorific forest comes................... a smiling, happy as ever, wild KOFFING (Hurray!!!!)! TR looks at it floating with apparent joy and probably reminiscing about the past when James was with a happy joyous Koffing that smiled and bobbed around. Well unfortunately, times change and so do good fun times for Koffing had to go and evolve into Weezing........................ the ugly, hideous, depressing Weezing.

And speaking of the Ugly Ugmo, two of them come around from behind the bushes. It seems that they're chasing Koffing out of envy that its so much prettier than the two purple abominations and they want to take out their anger on poor innocent happy Koffing. TR watches in nostalgia as the two Weezing bump off the Koffing who smiles as it tries to make its escape. "What's dat all about?", wonders Meowth. "It looks like those Weezing are after that Koffing", observes Jessie as that one important scene hits James and yes dodgers, it makes him teary as he realizes the sad truth of today. He morosely utters, "That Koffing looked so joyous...... I wish Weezing could still smile the way it used to....", as he slumps down to sit on a boulder and yearn for what he used to have..... yearning for Koffing's smile.

James then proposes that maybe they should go after them. Jessie smartly corrects James telling him, "What could we possibly do with catching a couple of Weezings and a Koffing??" Meowth the smart alec answers, "We could hold da woild ugliest pokemon pageant............... ooooooorrrrr we could follow dem and maybe find a way outta dis stinky forest." "That sounds like an idea, Meowth!", compliments Jessie. James is eager to see more of the happy Koffing so he yells at them, "Let's hurry and follow them before we get left too far behind!" So TR races off following the big ugly Weezing bullies chasing the good and righteous Koffing so they can find a way out of the forest.

Meanwhile, the threesome is looking for direction of their own. Cris-tal (who now looks stoned and even a little wasted) then proposes to the crew which is the fastest way through the forest. And just like TR, Misty points one way, Justin points another, Crystal suggests another way and even Pikachu and Sandshrew point their own ways resulting in everyone pointing different directions. This makes everyone fall over in irony as Justin mopes, "We have no idea which way to go...." Misty then presses him about the map he always carries but Justin replies that while he has it, it won't tell them exactly where they are and they still won't know which ways are north, south, east, or west.

So it looks like they need someone to settle their conflict, but not to worry..... cuz Psyduck pops out and his brainpower should help them point the right way, right?? ................................................ uuuuuuhhhhhh..... maybe not. "Psyduck, maybe you could help us. Do you know which way is the best way to go?", asks Misty but all she gets in response is a puzzled, "Psyyyyy?", with Psyduck holding its head in confusion. The threesome then groan in disdain as Crystal remarks, "We may truly be lost in the woods..................... again?" "What else is new??", quips Misty.

So Justin decides to solve this the most logical way possible.... the way any pokemon nut would do it. They'll go in the direction to where the next Kanto League gym is. Justin knows that the next nearest gym is in Celadon City (Elitist pig Erika....... here they come!!!) which is to the south of where they currently are. Misty then gives everyone a scientific lesson in astronomy by explaining that since its the afternoon and that the sun sets in the west, they should then find where the sun is. This probably results in them looking right into the sun causing damage to their retinas. Then Misty explains they should just turn about 90 degrees counter-clockwise and that'll mean they're facing south.

Now of course science is good................. but certainly the threesome wouldn't have any use for a compass right now (or all the freakin time), would they?

"Okay.... we're facing south!!! Are we ready to move on??", asks Justin. "Yes sir!", shouts Misty like a happy crush-driven slut wannabe. "Then let's get walking...", he proposes. "Before the smell gets to us....", pleads Crystal as Sandshrew and Pikachu are waving their arms in desperation to try and get rid of the stink. So they begin to walk due south......... and after a screen wipe, about a half hour has past and they're still walking and they look a little more glum. "Still walking.....", mopes Misty..... and then another screen wipe and another hour or so has passed with the group, "..... still walking", according to Justin as chubby little Pikachu is huffin and puffin to keep up.

Yet another screen wipe passes to signify another hour or so going down the drain as Crystal holds her nose and declares, ".... still smellin", while Pikachu is now being carried on the back of a really tired Sandshrew. And then finally, one more screen wipe and everyone is kneeling down to catch their breaths as they've finally had enough. "There's gotta be an end to this somewhere, right?", wonders Crystal as once again, we see more Koffing being chased by jealous, ugly Weezings.

Fight the good fight oh happy, joyous ones!!!

There are also some Grimers and Muks swamping their way around in the background. Misty answers Crystal that there may be some end in sight....... within the next week or so. "Have you guys noticed all the poison pokemon that roam this forest??", wonders Justin. Misty responds, "Yeah.... they must be what are stinking up the place...." Crystal then announces that they all need to find a place to take shelter and recover from the horrible smell going around while Sandshrew is lying winded on the ground after carrying its girfriend (or boyfriend?? gay relationship??? you be the judge) Pikachu. "That's a good idea Crystal but I don't see anywhere we could lie down for awhile", quips Misty. Looking to lie down, Justin notices, "All I see are a broken treehouse, a muddy pool of Grimers, a Pokemon Center to our right, and a group of really tall pine trees to shield us from rain............ looks like we'll never find anywhere to stay."

They pause despairingly for a moment before it hits all their slow heads. "Wait a minute............. A POKEMON CENTER??!!!", they all yell, "We're saved!!!" Sandshrew and Pikachu then celebrate as a party like background suddenly appears behind the two of them as confetti falls from the top of the screen. "Now I can call home and tell mom about my third badge...... and I can also revitalize you two cross country walkers!!!", states Crystal carrying Pikachu and Sandshrew as they shout out, "Saaa-shrew/Pika pikaaaaaaa", in joy.

"I don't see any ending in sight......", moans Jessie as TR is still lost in the woods following Koffing's magical path, "Why'd you have to make us follow those stinkballs??", she turns to James. "I thought it was your idea...", whines James. "Why are you always trying to passing the blame to someone else, James?", shouts Jessie. "Ya shouldn't do dat.... it'll lead us inta trouble...", states Meowth who then sighs, "I shoulda known my idea stunk like dis forest." "Huh??", shouts Jessie as Meowth quickly tries to recover and claim it to be a slip of the tongue. "Now I remember..... it was your idea!!!", shouts James accusing Meowth. "You dumb little furball!!!", shouts Jessie as they both kick Meowth on either side of his neck.

Meowth then coughs off the attack on the windpipe as Jessie then complains, "Great.... now we're gonna smell like sewage for the rest of our lives thanks to you!!!", shouts Jessie. "Sewage that's coming from this dirty, toxic lake!!", dramatically shouts and points James. "What an eco-disaster!!!", proclaims Jessie as Wobbuffet pops out again to agree with Jessie. "What an anatomical disaster....", sighs Jessie somewhat sarcastically about Wobbuffet. Meowth then notices all the Muks and Grimers swimming through this lake while above the lake..... there .... THERE is where a concentration of abominable Weezing are floating about the lake trying to keep the overly happy Koffings from rightfully bobbing above the toxic waste filled lake in in happiness as the Weezings are trying to assert their dominance.

Calling it.... happy gasball discrimination!!

Meowth then schemes and tells Jessie, James, and Wobbuffet about a scheme to clean up all of the poison pokemon from this lake. "Not only would we be eco-friendly.... but we kin git back on da boss's good side", claims Meowth happily. "Yeah except Meowth, how are we going to drag away all of these pokemon when we have nothing smell-resistant to put 'em in and since we're in the middle of the woods and we have NO KNOWN WAY OF GETTING OUT!!!", shouts Jessie. Meowth panics admitting Jessie is right.......... but James stands to correct them.

"Actually...... I think we just might have a way to get a carrier truck here that can get us all the Muk, Grimer, Koffing, and Weezing we could ever imagine....", states James brightly and then starts to sag when mentioning Weezing. Hey................. who couldn‘t? "Really..... how?", wonders Jessie. "You see Jess, I can use my cell phone that I use for hook-ups (he he he he he) to dial up Budget.com's rent-a-truck company. I place an order for a truck to this location, then the Budget.com's satellite mapping system helps us determine where the cell phone signal is coming from. Once they find us, they'll deliver our truck straight to this lakeside. And because I'm mentioning Budget.com's features to the audience here (points out towards the screen and pokemon viewers...... like 8 year olds have any uses for Budget trucks....), we'll probably get an enormous advertising discount! Oooooohh!", explains James as flamboyantly as possible as his explanation gets illustrated by simple flash frame sketches.

"That does sound like a pretty good idea......... now hurry up and get the truck here!!!!", commands Jessie loudly. "Okay okay", shrills James as we then get another screen wipe....... this time with decapitated heads of Wobbuffets probably horrifying the minds of little kids. Then the truck magically appears with the serviceman handing him the lease for the truck and the bill. James looks all professional to try and impress the guy while he requests that the bill be charged to the TR account.

This angers Jessie as she shouts at him, "James!!!! I thought you said this lousy truck wouldn't cost anything!!" "I only said we could get it for a discount...", nervously mutters James. The two of them begin to argue as........................... well..... Jessie is doing all the yelling while James is just whining Jessie not to punish him probably by spending another "one minute session" together as all Wobbuffet can do is salute and cry out, "Woooooooobbb!". But Meowth then tries to mediate as he then interrupts, "Yeah yeah.... enough bickerin, let's starting pumpin up dese pretty priced poison pokemon...", which makes TR nod in agreement ending their little fight.

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon?? (I once bowled a 298 with this pokemon.)

It's Voltorb!!!........................................ "Voltorrrb!"

We catch up with the threesome now inside the pokemon center waiting for their pokemon to recouperate. Crystal is passing the time by doing something other than something drug-related...... she's talking to her mom. Um............................ actually............ considering it's Crystal's whacked out mom............ maybe it is drug-related.

"My babyyy!!! How's your journey, Crystal?", asks Crystal's cracked out mom. "It's going great, mom!", replies a cracked out Cris-tal as she's all too eager to fling her vest open to reveal her third badge to her mom. "I won a cascade badge at the Cerulean City Gym...... see it?", she tells her. "I definitely do...... I hope you guys are keeping yourselves fed and clothed?", mom asks. "Uh huh", answers Crystal like she's about to listen to a bunch of time-wasting mother crap.

"I'm all on that....", answers Justin, the primary caretaker and clothes buyer (yeah that's right he buys.... he can't be motherly like Brock). "I can see you two have done a fine job with developing Crystal's training abilities!", compliments Mrs. Fletching as Justin and Misty thank her back. "You two have done so much with your pokemon coaching careers... I think you deserve medals or trophies for your great work. In fact....", continues Mrs. Fletching before an embarassed Crystal cuts her off uttering, "Hey... come on now mom..... I should get some credit, too!" And Crystal's mom babbles on with her crack-headed conversation with her equally crack induced daughter.

"It's so nice that Crystal always calls and keeps in touch with her family", mentions Misty assuming that she has no siblings and that Crystal's father probably abandoned her or that he was just lookin to play and ended up finding Mrs. Fletching's number on the side of a phone booth................ smart young Togepi-free girl! We then screen wipe to a while later where Crystal is now running up her phone bill on Ash who's now on the videophone.

........... at this point, your minds just may be in tha gutta here!

"So you went to Misty's gym and beat Misty, huh?", wonders pimp-daddy Ash probably after Crystal tried to explain their battle about two dozen times. "Boy... Crystal can really tie up the phone line", mutters Justin monotonously. "She probably runs up a higher phone bill than Ash's mom", says Misty referring to all the sex chat lines and booty calls to Prof. Oak that Delia dial up. "Actually, it was kind of a draw..... but it was still good enough to win a cascade badge", says Crystal who just doesn't care if Ash gets it anymore. "I'm sure it was a great battle.... I just wish I was there to see it", mutters one-track-minded Ash. "I just wish I really could've beaten her...", quips Crystal.

"Well don't worry..... until that day, she'll also be known as the girl with the huge back wart when she was 9", chuckles Ash who would have probably been disabled permanently if Misty was in his recovery room. "WHAT??? Errrrrrrrrrrrrr..... I can't believe my sisters leaked that out, too!!!", growls Misty who then turns to Justin, "You see what happens when my sisters gossip about me??" "Yeah....... then we have something to talk about.......... like the teddy bear that you always drool over...", remarks Justin who apparently is too much brighter than Ash. And as expected and on cue..... he gets a high kick to the chops from Misty and down he goes.

And so Crystal continues to chatter on with the still crippled (and always will be mentally) Ash as he mentions, "I see that Misty's still her normal self and has gotten along fine without me...." Crystal nods in agreement as we screen wipe to awhile later and Crystal is finally off the phone thanks to Nurse Joy and Chansey bringing out their pokemon. Pikachu and Sandshrew race away from Chansey and leap adorably into Crystal's arms as she has the chemical power to take all their weight. And Nurse Joy hands each set of pokeballs to their respective trainers and they all thank her.... especially Justin.

"Always glad to help", quips Joy daintily. But Justin knows that she's been in the middle of this smelly forest so he questions her wondering why the forest around there smells so terrible. Nurse Joy sighs in environmental despair as she explains that this forest used to be as green as any forest in Kanto. But then one day, a decision by the government allowed some of the nearby factories to dump their toxic waste into a sewage pool in the forest. As a result of the odor, the pool attracted a great amount of poison pokemon.... it's good if you want to catch a poison pokemon, but the smell is just horrible for camping out.

Well..... you heard it folks! As usual, it's the fault of big business with the help of the Republicans XD...... what else is new?

"It's not all that bad though.... at least poison pokemon get a chance to grow and play around without any distractions from the outside world. Oh........ it's just that......", explains Nurse Joy before getting all down again. "Just that what?", wonders Justin trying to be on Nurse Joy's good side. "Well recently, with the new group of poison pokemon coming in, the Weezings here seem to bully around the Koffings.... those poor things", states Nurse Joy with true emotion as the threesome recollects the hideous Weezings chasing the Koffings through the forest. "Why would anything want to bother the Koffings here.... they're always so happy", wonders Misty. "Yeah..... especially ones like the dodgemasters' Koffing", says Crystal remembering the trio of triple teamers exceptionally well.

Everyone then hears a loud mechanical noise humming off in the distance. Crystal wonders what the noise is as Misty is unsure as well. Nurse Joy realizes that it's coming from the polluted pool area and so Nurse Joy decides to race off to the scene to see what's what while leaving Chansey behind to run the pokemon center. And of course since the threesome are totally into pokemon, they decide to check it out too and so Crystal yells for Sandshrew and Pikachu to come along with her as they all head off with Nurse Joy in a couple of 4-wheelers. Nurse Joy and Crystal (and pokemon couple) are on the first with Justin and Misty on the other 4-wheeler.

And right about now, someone is naming the shipping for Justin and Misty...... whatever it may be....

Meanwhile, TR is cleaning house at the polluted lake as copious amounts of Koffings and even more Weezings are getting sucked out gallons of Grimers and Muks are being sucked into the tank from the lake. Jessie laughs that, "This is our most precious, ponderous pick-up of poison pokemon we've ever parlayed!", while Wobbuffet salutes behind her in still frame. Meowth reacts to Jessie's strange alliteration by just hesitantly replying, "Ehhhh.... that's great en all...... buuuut... would da boss really be interested in all dose ugly Weezins?"

Realizing that Meowth is actually making sense, Jessie decides that Meowth is right and yells for James to let all the Weezings go and fire them off far, far away. Now James, of course, complains that they shouldn't let the Weezings go. But Jessie rightly rationalizes, "Come on... think about it, James. How many battles has your worthless Weezing actually won for you?", as she suddenly gets into a catholic school teacher's uniform with a blackboard behind her that draws up two columns..... one for wins and one for losses. "Uhhhh..... none!!, states Meowth discouragingly as a big fat goose egg goes under the win column.

"Oh all right..... I'll let them all go.", mopes James as he pushes a button that reverses the truck's air vac flow and it blasts all the pitifully fugly Weezings well out of the forest. Jessie then laughs as she announces, "Hahaaaa.... now we can concentrate our truck's storage space for all the good pokemon!" "We should 'ave many dozens uh Muks in da truck by da time we're finished!!", notes Meowth.

Question: How many sick gay raping orgies will there be in that truck full of horny Muks?? ........ oh God... I'm gettin' queasy.

At that point, TR hears a couple of 4-wheelers motorin' approaching the lake. "Hey... what do you think that could be?", wonders Jessie. "Well judgin from da sick feelin in da pit uh my stomack, I hope it ain't who I tink it be", worries Meowth. On the other side of the lake where the twerps are approching from, Misty notices that the stench has gotten stronger as Crystal wonders what that truck is doing there. Nurse Joy then gasps in horror as she notices that the truck is taking all the pokemon from their oh so precious habitat. She also realizes that all the Weezings have disappeared from their domination over the center of the smelly forest (in other words the lake).

Justin then points out the culrpits behind the eco-disturbance with TR working to gather all the pokemon they can. "Team Rocket again!!!", angrily shouts Crystal at her arch-enemy Jessie. The hippie Nurse Joy then pleads with Team Rocket not to steal the pokemon because it's their home and they shouldn't remove from their homes unwillingly. "Sorry Nurse Joy", starts Jessie as James adds, ".... but these pokemon are getting evicted", like he's flirting with a guy. Crystal then shouts at TR, "You can't just encroach your lousy presence here and do whatever you want to those innocent pokemon!" "Really?", responds Jessie astutely.....

"Then prepare for trouble, we're first here to the sludge!"
"And make it double, though we'd rather prefer fudge!"
"To protect the forest from odor and grime"
"To collect these pokemon on everyone else's time"
"To denounce the outrage of poison pollution"
"To extend our reach to within the collusion"
"Jessie"
"James"
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light"
"So surrender now or prepare to fight!"
"WOOOOOOOOOBBBUUUUUUUUUHHHFFET!!", screams the patiently pleased one announcing its presence until Meowth slings mud in Wobbuffet's face covering it up and announcing, "Heh... Meowth, that's right!"

"I'm afraid to inform you twerpier than ever twerps that we've already gotten what we came for here!", impatiently yells Jessie. But Crystal proclaims that they can't take those pokemon without even considering that those pokemon are wild pokemon that aren't protected by any laws which means that TR is doing something perfectly legal. Jessie then growls, "I'm tired of being policed by you goody two-shoes!!!", and is about to call out Arbok when James holds her up. She wonders what he could want and James responds with the gayest of enthusiasm, "With the lake here, we can battle the twerps with my newest pokemon!!!"

Meowth pauses in confusion for a moment before recognizing what happened last episode so he then shrugs, "Ey, it hasn't bin corrupted by you yet.... so maybe it'll actually win fah us!", knowing all too well about how James has corrupted the formerly gangsta scratch cat. James then throws out his prize catch announcing, "Alright Quilfish.... this is your big moment!! I choose youuuuu!!!" And out comes the fat-lipped, spiky blowfish pokemon as James elates over the chance to order around a new pokemon smiling, "Eeeeeeeeeee! That felt so good to send out a new member of my squad!"

........................Man oh man.... I tell ya.... If there's an opening to the Showtime series Queer as Folk, auditioners watch out for James!

Qwilfish then jumps out of the pool to try and hug its new beautiful master. So James holds it for a second gushing, "Awww see... and it even likes.... aaaaaahhhhhhh", and James screams in pain as Qwilfish's prickers finally get to James. And thus James ends up tossing Qwilfish, in panic, back into the water. Jessie and Meowth can only sigh in embarassment as Meowth utters, "Poor ting!" "I hope you mean Qwilfish...", replies Jessie as rim shots can be heard in many dodgers' minds. Meanwhile, Crystal and co. are unfamiliar with Qwilfish as Justin points out what it is. So for more info, Cris-tal turns to her new substance identifying/pokemon index known informally to the hip kids as Dexter.

Qwilfish - the balloon pokemon - To fire its poison spikes, it must inflate its body by drinking over 2.6 gallons of water all at once.

"It sounds a little tricky", worries Justin before Misty decides to grow a set of balls and take care of things. "Leave it to me!!! I choose you, Horsea!", she yells calling out Horsea who neighs in its appearance. James then regroups from getting stung and orders Qwilfish, "Alright Qwilfish, let's mess up that sea creature with your poison sting!" Qwilfish dives into the water and then fires its stingers and some of them nailing Horsea.

Misty has Horsea counter with agility and then Horsea tries to headbutt Qwilfish but Horsea ends up getting hurt as well because of the spikes. James then has Qwilfish use minimize attack and that causes Horsea's water gun to miss as well. "Ooooooooh..... I'm actually winning! We're gonna do it Qwilfish!", declares James. Unfortunately, the threesome still has about 15 other pokemon for Qwilfish to get through...... whoever said it was fair for TR. But Misty shouts at him, "Not yet!", and she has Horsea use its twister attack.

Horsea spins up a massive vortex that whirls towards Qwilfish and swallow it into the vortex. "Do something, James!", panics Jessie as Meowth just shrugs, "What has James eva done ta save us?" But James tells Quilfish to use its harden (haven't we had enough gay jokes yet?) and Qwilfish's gills get solid so it can absorb the fall after the twister ends. Misty believes that Horsea has probably won but then Qwilfish pops up to the twerps' surprise. "Nice job Jimmy-boy!", compliments Meowth as James resumes his battle.

He tells Qwilfish in true James style to use its tackle attack. So Qwilfish charges forward as Horsea tries to escape but its no use as Qwilfish tackles Horsea knocking it for a loop. Misty encourages Horsea to get back up and keep fighting but then Crystal has seen enough. Apparently, she's impatiently wants to get back on the road for some reason so she puts a hand on her shoulder and tells Misty, "Misty wait! Call back Horsea.... I can handle TR from here."

Misty agrees with Crystal even though she probably wanted to keep battling. So she calls back Horsea and then Team Rocket yells at Crystal. "What are you gonna against my unstoppable pokemon?", brags James. "Unstoppable??", questions Meowth as James responds that if you think of your pokemon as great then it'll be great. Just like TR is beautiful because they call themselves beautiful. "What make you think you can stop us, twerp? We already have plenty of pokemon!", laughs Jessie.

But Crystal smirks back, "I don't have do..... I've already beaten you." "What do you mean?", asks Jessie impatiently as she then catches notice of an angry Pikachu with the sparking cheeks getting into the dirty water. "Oh no.... Pikachu!!!", panics James as Meowth says that they gotta get away. But as they turn around, they see Sandshrew blocking their way to their getaway truck. "Well we're certainly in a quandary now", utters Jessie needlessly. Crystal has Pikachu use its thunderbolt to blast the f*ck out of Quilfish and the attack actually reaches TR on the other side of the lake as well.

A frazzled TR then escapes past Sandshrew to their truck as Wobbuffet wobbles behind them trailing them into the truck. "Come on, James.... start the truck already!", yells Jessie. But Crystal then has Sandshrew stop the truck with its earthquake attack. Sandshrew then grits its little teeth as it jumps touches the ground to create a huge vibration that splits the ground from Sandshrew to TR's truck. The attack splits the storage haul in the back wide open releasing all the poison pokemon back into the lake. And then as always, no matter if its a water gun or a 21 cannon barrage, the attack causes an explosion the size of three mile island and it sends TR skyward.

"Oohh... can we ever get a break and beat those twerps for once??", angrily shouts Jessie as we get a GAS of all of TR (except for Wobbuffet and Quilfish who don't have asses). "Ey... at least it smells good up here outta dis forest...", says Meowth though he's ignored.

"Team Rocket's blasting off agaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiin" "Woooooooobbb"

Misty then laughs at seeing TR get nearly mutilated again as Nurse Joy states, "I hope that teaches those three a lesson for being greedy and trying to ruin those pokemon's ecosystem." "Oh I'm sure they won't mess with this forest again thanks to Sandshrew!", says Justin trying to be on Nurse Joy's good side so he can get her number before they go. Either that or he was so in awe of Sandshrew, he wants to sleep with him instead.

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Altogether now........... EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon?? (You can make plenty of dough off this horny pokemon's assets.)

It's Mareep!!!................................. "Reeeeeeee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee!"

Now that TR and their rental truck have been eradicated from the smelly forest, we see all the Muk, Grimer, and other poison pokemon have returned to playing around their home sludge pool. Nurse Joy then compliments that she's so glad that the poison pokemon are safe and have no chance to be separated from each other. "We're just glad to help stop those three no good slime balls", answers Crystal.

We then see a backdrop and view of the lovely....... ok well not lovely but uh........ seemingly peaceful......... smelly toxic wastesite. Little kiddie Grimers are splashing each other in the pool but more importantly..... with TR removing most of the ugly worthless abortion-needy Weezings, that means that the Koffings have stopped running away from the Weezings and now have a predominant smiling presence above and around the forest pool. And in a scene reversal from earlier, we then notice a few smiling Koffings chasing one of the few Weezings that remain in the forest left trying to punish them for discriminating against pokemon that always smile.

"I'm also so glad that the Koffings have come out of hiding", says Nurse Joy. Justin then notices that all the Weezings that frequented the forest don't seem to be as plentiful anymore and he wonders what could've caused that. Justin..... sometimes bro, it's just better to enjoy the better scenery than to bring up new questions!!! Nurse Joy marvels at how peaceful all the poisonous pokemon are and comments about how this forest didn't turn out so badly after all.

"Yeah... except for one thing....... the smell!", says Misty. "Yeah.... I'm sorry that you have to live with this smell now", sympathizes Cris-tal, "The lawmakers should think about what they're doing if they plan to do something to the environment." "You're absolutely right, Crystal. But maybe in a couple of years once the poison pokemon find a better place to live and play, and when the stench dies down, maybe the forest will return to being green again when the pokemon that used to frequent here return", explains Nurse Joy.

Misty believes that it would be great if that could actually happen (It probably won't) and Crystal looks emotionally at the state of the forest and then tells Nurse Joy that they have to hit the road to Celadon City. "Celadon City? It's not that far from here. Just take the trail in front of the Pokemon Center and go southeast from there. You should reach the city in a few days", explains Nurse Joy. The threesome thanks Nurse Joy as I think its necessary to point out that the twerps were initially going south.... but now they have to go southeast to get to Celadon City.

Those schmucks were going the wrong way!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.....

Justin then gets a chance to schmooze Nurse Joy in his own way unlike Brock. "I'm sorry we have to go Nurse Joy but if you ever want to contact us again (especially me), here's my cell phone number and we can chat and visit each other again soon!", says Justin as we notice Sandshrew looking up and smiling at Nurse Joy as he seemingly sides with the male this time which makes sense since Sandshrew is male, too. The girls though, just look at him with dumb faces and Pikachu looks up confused at Justin. Crystal then mutters to Misty, "I don't think he'll ever learn." "It looks like most guys are all the same...", monotonously states Misty.

And then the threesome, Sandshrew, and Pikachu all hit the road outside the Pokemon Center. Nurse Joy and Chansey wave good-bye to the twerps as the threesome looks back at them. Crystal, Misty, Sandshrew, and Pikachu wave good-bye back to them while Justin waves with one hand and signal a telephone with his other hand signifying Nurse Joy to call him. And thus, the meandering of the twerps continues out of the smelly but happy, happy, happy, much happier forest now that the Koffings have asserted their presence.

Meanwhile, somewhere, you can hear some Kiwis going, “Yaaaaaaaaaaaayy..... Koffing Koffing Koffing Koffing Koffing Koffing Koffing Koffing!!!!!!”