Dragonitemare presents

Pokemon Crystal series

Ep. 37

Now that the twerps have survived a bevy of avalanches and outlived Old Marietta in a time span not even worth mentioning for an episode, they are fast approaching Celadon City. On the road there, they pass a very sizable arena which they notice is named Celadon State Investments Arena. Now ain't a sign of the greedy corporate times.....

And the billboard for the CSI Arena states, "WOW!!! Nas and the Wu-tang Clan.... performing live tonight and tomorrow!!!", according to Crystal. "You really must be an aficionado of hip-hop, aren't you Crystal?", asks Misty. "I certainly am", she declares as does Sandshrew shouting, "Sa-shrew." "Of course..... I wish there was some way we could get to see them in there tonight", wishes Crystal. Justin tells her, "Sure.... that's no problem. We just need hundreds of dollars for all of us." Crystal then saunters in despair as she won't get to see her favorite rap ar-teeests perform. "And that doesn't even include souvenirs...", comments Justin.

"Hoooohhh... maybe we could ask Prof. Oak.... we haven't had an entertainment break in a long time", suggests Crystal knowing that dirty Prof. Oakky would definitely get her ticket money with the stashes she's got. But just then, a rogue figure appears from behind the threesome uttering in a kind of ghetto accent, "I can get you three into tonight's concert.... ya heard?" "Huh?....... Snoop, baby!", gasps Crystal seeing an old friend apparently.

"Crystal.... how are things going nowadays? Where'd you get that fine lookin Pikachu?", asks the rogue Snoopy. "Snoop Dodge..... it's been so many years already.... I still remember our school days", remembers Cris-tal. "An old schoolmate, huh? I remember the times I had in grade school", reminisces Justin trying to be as dodgy as possible. "Anyway", says Snoop Dodgy, "I have some extra tickets that my friends were supposed to use but they couldn't come." "That's great!", responds Crystal. "And that's not even the best part", he says.

"It's not?", wonders Crystal and Misty. "No...... because I have an extra surprise that my friends couldn't make it for", he mentions. "What would that be?", wonders Crystal. "I also got myself a group of backstage passes", he announces. This makes the threesome and Pikachu and Sandshrew ring with delight as Crystal thinks she's hallucinating even more than she is already at the moment. They shout at him in delight, "Backstage passes??!" "Pikachu!!!", utters Pikachu in delight with getting a chance to see a big music star in person unlike that cheap ass bastard Ash Ketchum.

<cue intro>

"Can we pleeeeeeeeeeze pleeze pleeze pleeze plleeeeeeeze share those tickets with you?", begs Crystal desperately. And because the twerps in this show always get spoiled with free sh*t they don't deserve, Snoop Dodge decides, "Well it would be a good chance to catch up on the past and hang out in style, know what I'm sayin? So why not!" "ALL RIGHT!!!!", cheers Crystal celebrating her twerp-based luck along with her partner Sandshrew.

Justin comments that it'll be great to enjoy a rap concert and Misty just hopes that she doesn't get drawn into a mosh pit. Snoop Dodge then asks Cris-tal what she's doing with herself.... and like all main character primadonna stars, she only emphasizes the good points that she's studying to be a doctor and has taken time off to compete in the Kanto League. This means she doesn't mention the fact that she's become Queen Crack Fiend in the past couple years. Snoop Dodge comments that there's no wonder her pokemon look so strong and that he wouldn't dare have a pokemon battle against her.

He then asks if she's gotten any badges yet and Justin mentions that she has three already as Crystal flips out her pink vest to bling-bling her badges. Misty then is quick to mention that she let her have one of those badges and that, "she's ready to go one-on-one again anytime."

................... make of that what you're sick f*ckin minds will.

Snoop Dodge comments that he wouldn't mind to see them battle (or 'go one on one') but the concert is about to start and so he suggests they go inside and get their seats. And inside..... we see the concert commence..... cuz on stage.... is the one... the only..... Nas Escobar...

"To the N, to the A, to the S-I-R"
"And if I wasn't, I must've been Escobar"
"You know, the kid got his trip tube fixed"
"Half-hearted with the... barber's preciseness"
"Bravehearted for lifeless"
"Return of the golden child.... son of a blues player"
"So who were you playa... y'all waited for the true savior"

"This has been great..... I've never grooved like this in years!", gloats Misty. "I was really amazed that we got to see Onyx on stage opening up for them. I haven't seen them perform in many years", notes Justin. Snoop Dodge then shouts over Nas's rapping that they've enjoyed the concert for awhile and asks them if they want to go backstage. "Yeah!!", shouts Crystal who's totally psyched and telling by her eyes, probably kinda high as well. She asks Sandshrew if he's ready to go backstage and Sandshrew is also enthusiastic about going. So they all get up and push through the almost riotous crowd to try and make it backstage as we resume hearing some more rapping....

"Yo, I'm livin in this time behind enemy lines so...
"I've got mine... hope you"
Chorus: "Got yourself a gun"
"You from the hood? I hope ya"
Chorus: "Got yourself a gun"
"You want beef? Hope ya"
Chorus: "Got yourself a gun"
"And when I see ya, I'm gonna take what I want so..."

As Nas is rapping on stage, we travel up to the vent system to witness those that have the ultimate nosebleed seats..... TR, would they dazzle us in any other way?? "This is a pretty cool concert", beams Jessie. "I don't know.... rap music is kind of scary and immoral...", says James sounding oh so dodgy looking down on all those thugs on stage. Meowth answers to him, "Scary and immoral... just like TR!" "But I still don't know why you brought us here, Meowth", Jessie resumes.

"For ya infahmation, dis is da kinda music I grew up wit in da streets. Not only is dis a dream ta sneak inta this rap concert, but we're also gonna meet everyone backstage with dese fake backstage passes", explains Meowth. "Heey.... if we get backstage, we'll have access to all the parties. And a lot of money we could steal", schemes Jessie. "That'll be a fabulous whale of a time!", exults gay James thinkin about all the sexy thugs that'll be there.

TR begins to crawl through the vent ducts as Jessie announces, "Team Rocket is on their way to a well deserved party!" "That's because we try our best against those twerps!", adds James. "Which means we always give our woist effuhts!", finishes Meowth. They then stick they're heads out of ceiling vent as we notice they're hanging upside-down from the vent opening in a back stage corridor. "Alright.... coast is clear!", notices Jessie. "It's time to par-tay! Oooooh!", declares James as TR's #1 party animal, Wobbuffet, pops out to salute upside-down and announce, "WOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBUUUUHHHFFET!", wanting to start partying. Unfortunately, Wobbuffet's surprise entrance startles TR where they fall out of the air vent crashing head first into the floor below forming a TR pile.

Mmmmmmm.... Team Rocket pile....... but seriously, they'd all walk away from the crash. They have superhuman powers... this is nothing new to them.

Elsewhere backstage, the twerps have found where all the partying is taking place with groupies everywhere..... and perhaps some personal strippers though we don't see any of them around. "So we gonna chill with da Wu-Tang Clan??", asks Justin bein a homey. "Actually.... huh huh.... the passes we have don't allow us into the inside party where the stars hang out", laughs and comments Snoop Dodge. This makes the threesome fall over as they now don't get to see their favorite rap stars.

"Then...... what do we get to do?", wonders Crystal. Snoop comments that there are still plenty of party goers around and that their tickets can get them in to see the opening act...... Onyx. "That's pretty cool", thinks Crystal aloud as Misty is joyed that they are going to see some music stars after all. They're also probably thinking what fun, illegal things they could possibly do while they're partying with Onyx and their groupies, roadies, etc.

They all go in, show their passes to get by the huge bouncer dude who looks like Refrigerator Perry (American sports guy), and then they go in and......... with sparkling in the background to resemble the twerps beaming in joy... there's the platinum 90's rock group themselves. "Wassup rocks (rocks are slang.... just like dawgs and such)?!", shouts and greets the lead Onyx rapper towards Cris-tal's crew. "We're glad to be up in here", answers Crystal as they notice all of them drinking some kind of orange liquor (beer or alcoholic beverage).

"Dat's coo yo!", answers another Onyx rapper, "Hey... make yaself at home. Snag a drink, a donut, whateva you want, yo." The twerps then thank them for their hospitality as another rapper adds dat there's more goins ons just outside and there's plenty to do out there. "Cool", replies Justin acting mellow around the crazed out thugs and they then check out what's goin on just outside the CSI Arena's backstage area.

"Wow.... they certainly bring all the luxury amenities wherever they go", comments Misty, "They even have a portable hot tub and plenty of drinks from their bar." We then see all the array of fly honeys, the hot tub, the bar, and all the party life going on. And so, the twerps stop looking..... and start getting f*cked up.

Misty and Crystal are drinking and chatting with each other......... well... they are now. I wonder if they kept it up for hours what would happen?? Hmm. Justin meanwhile is 'socializing' with some of the frozen in animation groupies around the bar. Misty then comments that being backstage at a concert is the most fun she's ever experienced in her life.

Oh man..... Ash better hurry and win her back before it's too late...
Ash: Uhhhhhhhhh......... huh?

Just then, they see an Onix rumble right by them and notice some more slithering and 'Ga-roooaaarr'-ing about. Misty points the first one out and Crystal then panics as she sees a few more Onixes rumbling about and she fears in her hallucinations that they've come to attack everyone there. But then one of the Onyx rappers (the short one so let's call him shorty for now) calls him down and pointing out that they're just the group's pets and that they won't hurt no one unless you get in their faces if ya know what he's sayin.

While our threesome and Snoop Dodge getting’ trashed, the tall Onyx rappers then announce that they're looking for a fan that can groove onstage on their next show and chill with them. "Really?", wonders Crystal. "Imagine..... being on stage in front of thousands of people.... one of our lucky pokemon might get that chance!! But who will it be?", exclaims Justin. Crystal then gets her idea and pulls out a pokeball claiming that she has just the performer to hang with Onix. She chooses Totodile who leaps out with a smile in its heart and a step for all to groove to.

Anyone that doesn't like Totodile can use this as reference to why so many love him.

"Totototototototodile", cries the insane water pokemon as it's about to learn that it may become a music superstar. "Sorry Crystal... but I've got the star that'll land the role here!", proclaims Justin patting Crystal as if to say 'nice try, kid... let a real man handle this'. He's about to send out Dragonite to be a star but instead, Misdreavus pops out wanting Justin to be a star for her. This makes Justin fall over as Misdreavus floats about the dapper young trainer in lust. "Sounds like someone's having a problem controlling his pokemon...", teases Misty sounding like she's all superior.

That is, until Psyduck brings her back to Earth by popping out and saying, "Psyduck!" This makes Misty fall over while Justin leans over to her and whispers, "Looks like someone's not alone...." "Yeah... but unlike you, I don't have all competent pokemon", states Misty in a quietly annoyed tone. "And unlike you, I have obsessed pokemon!", answers back Justin. "Misdreeeeee", states Misdreavus trying to creep behind Justin's right shoulder. Psyduck just looks at the lusty, heated scene and utters a confused, "Psy-ai-aiiiiii!"

"Hold on y'all..... we've got all night to party en evaluate everybody, ya know what I'm sayin?", exclaims Shorty of Onyx as one of their pet Onixes "ga-rooooooaaarrr's" At this moment, a couple of smoke bombs are thrown from the entranceway causing lack of visibility at the entrance. As the rappers wonder what's going on, stepping into the is Jessie dressed as a punk rocker with sprayed up pink hair as well as James who's wearing a leather jacket with a platinum record on the back of it. Yep, it's Team Rocket dressed all up backstage at a rap concert as a phat bass beat starts to play. Boom-BOOM....BOOM-BOOM-boom. "Time ta feel da beeeeeeeeeeeaaaattt!!!", yells Meowth.

Despite all this weirdness..... it's basically just reminiscent of a normal TR appearance. I mean.... they've done sh*t just as crazy, right?

"It's Team Rocket!", notices Misty while Justin quips, "This... is lookin to be quite disturbing", sounding real dodgy and somewhat disturbed. Crystal just stands there all bewildered as one of the Onyx rappers quips, "What da heck is this??" And thus, TR begins to rap to the beat....... (ha ha.... oh God!)

"Prepare for trouble and bust a move"
"Uh... uh-uh, make it double and we'll make you groove"
"To protect the world from devastion"
"To unite all peoples within our nation" the smoke clears a little more to reveal Meowth's silhouette and get this...... Wobbuffet using its flabby blue arms to mix up the turntable!!!! Is there anything this patiently pleased companion won't do??!!
"To denounce the evils of truth and love"
"To extend our reach to the stars above"
"J to the essie"
"James up in here", he raps probably trying to flirt with the thugs in some kind of secret way. "BREAK IT DOOOOOOOOWWWNN!", shouts Meowth as he comes out of the silhouette and TR resumes to just announcing the rest of the motto as the bass stops, Wobbuffet stops scratchin the turntables, and the regular TR music resumes.
"Team Rocket blasting off in double time"
"So surrender now or prepare to rhyme"
"Meeeeeeoowth, in time!"
"Woooooooooooooobbbuuuuuuhhhffet!", announces DJ Wobbuffet as he salutes from behind the turntables.

Crystal growls in discouragement and then yells like a cracked out crack fiend, "Team Rocket.... I can't believe you actually bought backstage passes just to follow me and steal my pokemon!" "Don't be ridiculous. We didn't come here expecting you twerps... we got in cuz we're real fans of real artists.... unlike you twerps who only got here by winning some bigwig sweepstakes deal", responds Jessie who then laughs at the threesome being white trash. The Onyx rappers then go over to examine these weird looking TR rappers. Then the ripped, buff looking one figures aloud, "Team Rocket.... I ain't nevuh hearda all y'all." Justin then steps in to try and expose TR saying, "These guys are real thugs and they're probably here to ruin this party somehow."

But Jessie then corrects him, "Quiet twerp! We'd never ruin something as hot as this party. We're here to join and there isn't you can do about it because (takes out passes) we've got genuine backstage passes allowing us to be here." James then almost exposes them by adding, "Actually, these passes are fa...", before being quieted and gagged by Jessie. Shorty then goes up to them and tells them, "Enough yappin'.... do ya guys have pokemon dat can star on stage wit' us or not?!"

Jessie then regroups, smirks, and declares to them, "Why...... Team Rocket always the star pokemon that'll beam the brightest!" "WOOOOOOOOOBBBUUUUUHHFFET!", declares Wobbuffet claiming its superior star power jumping in front of a startled Jessie. James then gleams in delight as he claims he's sure to have the stage victory with Victreebel.

Get it?? Victory.... Victree-bel? Victory?........ Victree..........bel? Guess we can see where this is going....

And with everyone else at the party just bein a bunch of thugs and groupies and hos with no pokemon with ar-teeeestic ability, it looks like the competition for Onyx's new guest star pokemon will be down to the twerps misfit pokemon and TR's misfit pokemon. <Yawn>..... like we haven't been through this before. "A'ight!!.... Let's see which of y'all pokemon bruthas has what it takes to get it on", declares the buff Onyx rapper.

Hmm... Totodile, Misdreavus, Victreebel?...... don't they try to get it ON enough as it is?

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon?? (This pokemon has mushrooms on its back!!! Better watch out for Cris-tal!)

The competition to be on stage with Onyx has begun and it looks...... very weird. "Are ya sure dis is a good idea, man?", asks Shorty looking quite disturbed by what he's seeing. "Yo, it will be, man................. once.... we get a pokemon or it's trainah to stop actin insane, know what I'm sayin?", responds the tall one. So what could be disturbing our ol' school rappers so much about our favorite group of pokemon stars?

Plenty. First, we see Cris-tal chasing after the overactive Totodile despite the difficulties she should be having walking straight while Totodile's jittering around all over the place. Then, we move to seeing Misty wringing Psyduck's neck (or lack of one) and yelling at it maybe trying to get a headache so that it could maybe perform or do something other than hold its head. Third and most disturbing yet, we see Misdreavus moving in on Justin trying to smooch him as he desperately tries to withdraw into the rest of his body to avoid a ghostly molestation. Next, we move over to see Jessie scold Wobbuffet for always interrupting her. And finally, we see Victreebel giving up a possible victory of being on stage with Onyx so that it can swallow its master. And watching all the carnage are Pikachu and Sandshrew who are just standing besides each other and looking disturbed just like everyone else.

"This is depressin'", notes the buff rapper as Meowth agrees stating, "Ya kin say dat again!" "Oh my God! Did ya just talk?!", asks the buff guy as they're all amazed at seeing a talking pokemon. "Yep.... I can talk... en I kin slang, too!", adds Meowth trying to be down wit' da homies. "Can you rap, brotha Meowth?", asks the buff Onyx rapper. "Can I? I kin rock out just as hard as dem Onix all y'all got!", claims Meowth. "Thent let's hear it, yo!", demands Shorty. "Coitanly.... music please!", requests Meowth and a beat starts to drop for Meowth who begins his own rap verse.

"Hey I'm da top cat Meowth en I'm here ta say..."
"All dem pokemon trainuhs should stay outta da way"
"Cuz I'm a real baddy Rocket dat is out to steal..."
"En I'll have ya pokemon ta seal da deal"
"See I've got da rhymes dat get platinum"
"Cuz ya can't do what I do even wit' a drum"
"But if ya jealous den ya still don't wanna front wit' me"
"Cuz I kin match a brotha claw fuh claw easily..... now what?"

All the bruthas and hos at the party are groovin to Meowth's lines..... especially Onyx and their pet Onixes. "Man..... dat was off da hook!", exclaims Shorty. "Everyone...... liked it?", wonders Crystal as the threesome and TR look on in shock. "Dat Meowth may be evil.... but man, it can rap!", exclaims Crystal's friend Snoop Dodge. "Congratulations, Meowth!", says the buff rapper, "You were amazin, yo! You're exactly just what we need ta launch ourselves a comeback. How would ya like ta be a member of our rap group?" "Rap group?", thinks Meowth to himself, "Dat'll mean............... TONS UH MONEY!!!!!" He then tells them, "Dat'd be great."

The rappers and others then cheer for Meowth as Misty comments that Meowth's big trap is useful after all for doing things other than exposing TR's plans. "But Meowth, are you really going to leave us and your mates at Team Rocket?", wonders Jessie with a concerned expression on her face. But they just see Meowth being carried off as he feels like a new star.

A while later, after the parties are all done and the hos have been banged, we see Meowth resting comfortably after a night of wild partying. Jessie and James then come in apparently to give him their last goodbyes <sniff>. "Well ol' buddy, are you really leaving Team Rocket? Can't say I blame you or anything... it'd be nice to enjoy success once in a while", wonders James. But Meowth then turns around and tells him, "Heyyy... don't worry about nothin. We'll all be just fine en successful..." "We will?", James asks. Meowth responds, "Yeah... cuz I've got a scheme to get all da money.. en den keep it fuh all of us!" "You do? Tell me more", inquires Jessie sounding delighted that she gets to keep one of her punching bags around with her. And so, they all huddle around Meowth to listen to his plan.

Oh.... that devious scratch-cat. Not even the threat of gang violence can keep him away from evil.

"Meowth, that's cruel!", exclaims Jessie. "That's thoughtless.... it's a foolish risk!", adds James. "Which means it's just the kind of perfect scheme we're capable of", states Jessie. And then they all cackle thinking that unlike the last several dozen idiotic plans, this idiotic plan will work. I know... I know.... but hey... that's what makes them entertaining and fashionable and beautiful and stuff.

So the next day at their big contract signing, Meowth is sitting across from the rap group's manager who's bling blingin with his gold chains. The manager congratulates Meowth on being able to fulfill a dream of his. He then asks for the contract and James slips him the contract for Meowth that they got a chance to look at. Jessie then has tears pouring down like a stream as she exclaims that she can't believe a day like this has come for one of their own. "It's so heartfelt...", sniffles James as Meowth grabs the pen.

"I love these kind of moments, don't you James?", sobs Jessie. "I do...... especially when we're about to get rich", says James quickly changing from sobbing to scheming as the two of them laugh. So Meowth picks up the pen and begins to sign his name with his left paw. And so, the southpaw signs, "Meowth", and seems to have become officially a rap superstar. Everyone around cheers in a ghetto kinda way as the rappers noogie Meowth and give him pats on the back.

Jessie and James jump in to the mix and start rejoicing along with everyone else. But the manager doesn't like intruders on his elitist rap powwow and questions them as to what they're so happy about. Jessie claims that they're Meowth's managers and that they're getting a share of Meowth's salary. James stutters but then adds that they're there to be professionals and make sure Meowth doesn't get anything unfair.

Well.... they're going to have to look professional again. Time to order a couple more skirts from the TR disguise catalog.

The manager then informs Meowth that his first performance is tonight at the CSI Arena. Meowth then answers him, "I'll be dere ta perform en drop all my hot new lyrics!" "Woooooooobbbuuuuuhhffet!", quickly pops out Wobbuffet to add to Meowth. "Get outta da way.... you ain't hardcore!", retorts Meowth shoving Wobbuffet's head out of the screen. And so just like TV magic, we go to the concert that night where everyone's filing in to see Onyx (and then Wu-Tang and Nas after that).

And then we see Onyx on stage as Shorty presents their newest tough-ass nigga. "INTRODUCIN'.... DA BAD ATTITUDE, EVIL ACTIONS, UNEQUALED PRESENCE, AND SLAMMIN LINES OF OUR NEW ONYX BRUTHAAAA........ MEOOOOOOOWTH!", he announces to a roar from the crowd and the girlish claps of Jessie and James. A Parliament-Funkadelic type groove bass beat begins to play as out comes Meowth in pointy Oakley shades, mini-sized leather jacket, and a microphone and he begins his show.

"Yo dat's right I can talk... so M. Y. O. B"
"Got an evil streak given a chance ya will see"
"I can hold my own in battle without a gripe"
"Cuz tick me off den I'll have my fury swipes"
"You still wanna take me? Don't tink ya should do dat"
"Cuz da Onyx en Rocket crews, dey both got my back!"
"Packin 20 pounds of catnip up in my ride"
"By da enda tonight, my honies will get more for our side.... let's go!"

The thugged out chorus behind him starts to shout out the refrain. The crowd then begins to dance (and some of the hardcore gangstas begin to fight) and Jessie and James gush over how successful Meowth is at rapping. "We're finally going to be able to afford to eat at a decent restaurant for once!", says Jessie. James then adds, "The time has come for an income!" We then see Meowth getting the crowd into it and dancing throughout the night rocking the CSI Arena crowd.

And then time magically speeds through the overnight and the sun suddenly appears overhead and its suddenly the next day. And today, two days after this episode began, we see Crystal and co. still with Snoop Dodge which proves that he's a pokemon trainer groupie. Justin then praises Crystal about how much better she's become in the past couple of days. Crystal attributes this (looking stoned) to the surprising number of trainers she got to train with in the past day and a half. Misty does mention that she did get a lot of practice in and then claims that Ash would have just wasted the same opportunity to eat a bunch of hoagies.

Ahhh Misty.... even though they're worlds away, she never stops dumping on (thus liking) Ash.

At this moment, they all hear someone shouting angrily about something. Their curiosity instantly makes them go over to where the shouting is coming from. "Wonder what's making who's shouting so angry", says Snoop as they look past the bushes and see to their shock, Shorty and the manager angrily walking around the front of their trailer and shouting. Snoop Dodge immediately notices that they're the guys from Onyx which Cris-tal quickly confirms.

"What happened to you guys? You didn't leave this town yet?", wonder Justin sounding as white as he possibly can. "No man.... we got robbed!", yells Shorty. "Robbed?!!", the threesome repeats as Misty reminds them that they saw them backstage the other night when they hired Meowth to be their new group member. Their manager answers that that no-good scumbag feline disappeared and stole a lot of the groups possessions along with its phony managers overnight.

The threesome gasps in shock as Crystal then goes on the obvious rant that she warned them that they were real criminals. "Those dirty no-good scoundrels, can't they ever learn anything??!", snaps Misty. "Have you seen dem crooks or know where ta find 'em?", asks Shorty. "No.... but we're used to their meddling", explains Justin, "They're always after our pokemon and are trying to do bad things to us." Pikachu pika's in agreement before Justin tells the tragic tale of his torture and near gay raping. "They even had me trapped recently.... and threatened to torture me", he squeals uneasily.

Misty shows a sweatdrop of uneasiness before noting that they're usually floating around in a happy Buddha-faced Meowth balloon. At this moment, the other Onyx rappers with their 'ga-roooaarr'-ing pet enforcers come in and start wondering in ghetto talk if they've seen Meowth or his cronies. "I gotta get dem back for stealin my ice!", yells the tall one and the rest of them also begin to bitch about their lost possessions. "Settle down... I'm sure these guys will help us track down those burglars", states the manager.

"We'll be glad ta help... if dey dissed you, den they diss us, too!", promises Snoop Dodge. "That's right! You welcomed us to your party and now we're going to pay you back", adds music star suck-up Cris-tal for the honor to probably smoke in the back with them. Sandshrew then points out to the horizon and yells, "San-shrew, san-shrew!" Crystal asks what it sees and it points to balloon far off in the distance. She claims that it's a little hard to tell from far off but from the shape of it, she knows that it's TR's balloon.

"Alright... let's take our Onixes and go get dem suckas!", declares Shorty in a dodgy statement he's probably made before in a different context many times. But before the angry crew rushes off in a mob, Justin yells to stop them and proclaims that he has a better idea. It's an idea that's cruel, sinister, and makes the twerp's jobs of stopping Team Rocket way too easy..... and....... his idea is so 70's. That's right........ Justin calls out....................

.......................

.......................

.......................

....................... SANFORD & SON

.......................

Just kidding......... but he does throw out his weird looking orange julius with a twist of pink lemonade pokemon that is Dragonite..................... and those pink shades, too. Justin orders Dragonite to fly up to TR's balloon and bring them back to where the angry twerps and thugs are waiting. And thus, Dragonite takes off to bring TR into one hell of a gang war. "Oh I see now... Dragonite's so fast dat we don't have ta even bother to go chase after them..... sweet rides!", says Snoop Dodge.

Sweet rides!......... don't forget it kiddies..... the next big "in" statement for the streets.

Meanwhile, TR is laughing about the success of their scheme which gave up a certain 7-figure salary for a cheap burglary scheme to boost their egos as villains. <sigh>.............. It only works for TR because they're entertaining and lovely. "Dose morons taught dat I'd come en save dere crummy has been group, but dey should always know dat Team Rocket's foist okyapation is stealin en scammin", explains Meowth. "And thanks to this bogus contract you signed, we're entitled to all the loot. Eeeee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee", girlishly laughs James.

"And now that everyone knows your superior rhyming ability, we can have you audition to be a part of a real rap group. You could even launch a solo career", suggests Jessie. "Hold on a minute... I ain't doin no moruh dat rappin stuff. I was initiated a Team Rocket crook and I always will be a Team Rocket crook", states Meowth. But Jessie yells back, "Meowth, you've got serious talent here that can net us a lot of money for our schemes! And I'm CAN make you audition for a record company because I'm your manager!!!"

"But I can't put up wit all dat stage pressha!!!", nervously responds Meowth. "You fraidy cat!!! Can't you even step into a recording studio and at least make an album??!", Jessie scolds. "I don't want nuttin ta do wit bein a stage puhformuh!!!", shouts Meowth. "It's fight time!", mopes James as Wobbuffet comes out to confirm, "WOOOOOOOBBBUUUUHHFFET!", and salute for no good reason. Jessie then goes on to yell at Meowth that he's costing them money and fame and to think things logically for once.

As Jessie and Meowth shout back and forth, James tries to desperately interrupt them but being a wimpy yeller, he gets snubbed intially. So Jessie and Meowth argue for a couple more seconds before James snivels again, "But Jessie, we've got company!" "Huh?", go Jessie and Meowth as they all turn and see the pinked one, Dragonite sailing towards them. TR panics as Dragonite flies right through the happy Buddha-faced Meowth balloon as if it wasn't even there.

The balloon begins to deflate and sail towards the ground but then Dragonite catches the balloon and tugs it back towards the twerps. TR lands with a thud on the ground in a cloud of dirt. "I think the twerps have found us....", mutters and coughs Jessie once the smoke clears. Then the Onixes start to approach and surround TR and they start to panic. Crystal shouts for them to give back the rapper's stuff. "We also want our money back if you're not going to help us!", yells the manager with the thug rappers looking menacingly at them.

But Jessie responds to them, "Ahaaa... I'm afraid that isn't going to happen." "You see... when Meowth signed this contract, it entitled him to an immediate salary", explains James. "But in exchange, Meowth could cancel his touring and was not obligated to do any work for you. And it's a contract that both he and you signed!", adds Jessie. "So ya see, all dis money of yours dat we got is legally ours", claims Meowth who then starts to laugh.

"FOOLS!!", yells Shorty quickly, "Don't ya know we don't like dat!!" "Yeah... we be thuggin, we don't care about contracts. All we know is dat you got our stuff and that we're gonna take it back from you fools", says the buff rapper. "Well the contract wasn't a good idea...", quietly states James as then Crystal yells for her pokemon couple to help get the rapper's stuff back.

But as Pikachu and Sandshrew are about to leap forward to put TR out of commission, Shorty holds them up. "Dis is our problem, let our enforcers take care of these jokas!", he shouts. "Enforcers?", gulps James as they look up to see the four Onixes ga-rooooaaaring and surrounding them. "I tink we're in ova our heads..", quivers Meowth. "Not yet... I'm prepared for a situation like this", declares James as he then chooses Qwilfish who proceeds to........

.....................

...................... flop around on the ground. TR falls to the ground seeing this and Jessie scolds James and says that he has to hold up Qwilfish to use attacks. "Oh okay..... use your water gun Qwilfish!", demands James as he goes to pick it up. <sigh>.............. Yep..... it's one of those days for TR. Needless to say, James squeals fruitily as he gets prickered trying to pick up Quilfish and its water gun is rendered useless. The Onix then proceed to rattle TR with their earthquake attacks which shake them and also the gold chains and jewelry that TR stole back towards the twerps.

"This is definitely Earth-shattering!", stumbles Jessie as they're getting rattled by the Onixes. "Instead of busting rhymes, they're busting rocks on us!", quips James. Wobbuffet wobbuh's before TR is all but knocked out. And as Pikachu is looking to kill off TR, Crystal seizes the opportunity and has Sandshrew finish them off as usual with a sandstorm. Pikachu just watches its boyfriend in confusion as Sandshrew takes on the job that was normally the electric rodent's.

See a pattern forming from this?? Well, get used to it for at least the next few episodes.

The power of the little sand particles rip apart the contract that TR doctored and then Sandshrew's power makes TR sail away empty-handed. "Well.... we had all the money we could've ever imagined! But what's become of it, now", shouts Jessie at Meowth with Wobbuffet sailing and saluting behind the two of them. "All we have left is one last rhyme....", quips James with his legs disturbingly wide apart and Qwilfish behind him. "Yeah...", grovels Meowth.

"So it looks like my career has reached its end", raps Meowth and then J & J join in.

"Cuz it looks like Team Rocket's blasting off agaaaaaaaaaaiiiin!" "Woooobbbuuuhh woooobbbuuuuhhh!"

"Well.... there they go again", comments Crystal as Sandshrew seems quite pleased. Pikachu though, is a little disappointed that it didn't get in on the violence. "Thank you for getting all of my group's stuff back", thanks the manager taking possession of the music act he works for. "It's just ashame dat don't have anothuh bruthah or pokemon dat can rap like Meowth did", expresses Shorty. "Maybe I could rap for you guys...", suggests Snoop Dodge.

"Do you freestyle, Snoop?", wonders Cris-tal. "It's one of my favorite hobbies", boasts Snoop. "Really? A'ight bro, maybe you should come into our little studio house for a demo?", suggests the buff Onyx rapper. "Ga-roooooooaaar!", agrees his pet Onix and thus, we then see all of them in the little portable music studio nearby the arena. The manager is adjusting the tracking with the threesome, Pikachu, and Sandshrew behind him. And to the other side of the glass is Snoop Dodge, not to mention Onyx. The manager lays down a synthesized bass beat since they're too cheap for their own instruments and he then gives Snoop Dodge permission to start rhyming and he starts at the next drop beat.

"Hey yo... I've got 5 G's and an Entei in my pocket, man"
"All the ladies know about me cuz dey know me as the Rocketman"
"Ya know they wanna get it on with the don of Celadon"
"En when it breaks dawn, I promise Jon, dey won't be gone"
"Dey hang with me now, mon, even down in Jamaica"
"I'm gonna take 'em for a good time, not just ta break' em"
"So book ya filght on da internet via Expedia"
"En let's race there by tomorrow so we can all beat da media"

Snoop Dodge continues to rap as the Onyx rappers are feeling his groove. The twerps are in astonishment and Misty sings his praises about how well he can freestyle. The manager then stops the beat and then elates, "Yes!!! That was brilliant!" "I was really good?", wonders Snoop, "I was just goin through with it cuz I wanted to freestyle with some rap stars." The Onyx manager then praises everything about the way he performed with his rhymes and his movement and how he didn't sh*t himself with excitement and etc., etc., etc.. "Yeah man... you got some serious talent", adds the buff rapper.

The manager then finishes his run-ons and crap and then goes to offer Snoop Dodge a job saying that he can get him a contract within days. "Wow.... a chance to be a performer!", gapes Justin. "It's a big commitment, though. Are you sure you're ready for it, Snoop?", forewarns Crystal. Snoop Dodge thinks about it for a moment and then decides, "As long as I take it one step at a time, I'll give it a shot." "Alright yo!", shouts Shorty as everyone begins to cheer for the little guy who just got his big break.

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon?? (This pokemon is just slightly overweighed by Sally Struthers.)

It's Snorlax................................ "Snoooooooorrlaaaaaxx."

"So when are you gonna start?", says Cris-tal who's eyes look bloodshot again now that they're outside ready to leave for their next menial adventure. "I think I'm gonna finish up school in the next couple of weeks, then I'm gonna be ready to go on tour", slurs Snoop. "We're gonna do a lot of touring, we're gonna hit Atlanta, Washington, New York, and then a world tour in Asia and the Pacific", notes the tall Onix rapper. "Wow... we're also doin a lot of touring for Crystal's journey in the Kanto League", mentions Misty as Sandshrew nods with her.

And thus after the pot session they've just had, Snoop wishes them luck uttering one of the most ironic statements you could ever say to Cris-tal. "Good luck.... an remember to keep ya head clear", quips Snoop. Crystal tells him not to worry and that she'll have many more victories to come (and blunts to smoke) and asks her pokemon if they're right. "Pika", confirms Pikachu while we hear a friendly, "Shrew shrew", from Sandshrew. And thus, everyone thanks everyone as they all go their separate ways.

And what do we learn from this rhyme busting episode?? Well mainly, just one real useful moral here. And that moral is.......

SLAM!!! Duh-duuh-duh - Duh-duh-duh - let the boys be boys - SLAM!!!

But let's not go out with too much in your head..... let's fade out with a little more of Nas.

"<Boom>..... woke up this morrrr-nin"........... <boom> "Yeah"
"You got yourself a gun"
"You got yourself a gun"
"Yo, I'm livin in this time behind enemy lines so..."
"I got mine I hope you"
"Got yourself a gun"
And the music goes on until it fades to the end as we watch the twerps walk away.....