Dragonitemare presents

Pokemon Crystal series

Ep. 38

Now that the threesome has heard more rhymes than they'll ever hear in a lifetime, they proceed on to Celadon City for a big adventure. But do you really think they'll get there that easily and not stop for another nearly worthless adventure? ........... I didn't think so. But they're so close to Celadon City...... what could possibly get the threesome to stop for an adventure now???

"Hey.... there's Celadon City St. University!", mentions Justin pointing it out for the twerps to see since they're all so undereducated, they don't really know what a college is. Crystal mentions that it looks like a really big school. Justin then continues that it was one of the first schools he was looking to get into...... must be a huge amount of sororities there. He then asks the girls if they'd let him spend the day there so they can all check out the school.

Crystal, knowing that college means frat parties, says that it's okay with her as she takes Misty in with her so they can become a tag team for some beer pong game later that night. Misty then smiles saying, "It'll be pretty cool to spend a day in college. Especially a fun school like Celadon City St. University..... come on in Sandshrew and Pikachu, you can have some fun in here, too." Yup, all the dodginess summed up in one statement: Celadon City St. is a FUN school, and the threesome will have fun thanks to their cute pokemon gettin it on.

And so they march right on through the main gate into CCSU. But behind them, behind them lies a menacing shadow. And this menacing shadow is serious about one thing............. singing and getting down. And the camera pans up from the huge shadow to reveal............... cute, tiny little Jigglypuff. "Jiggly-jigglypuff!", squeals the balloon pokemon jumping up and down in excitement as she sees a whole group of hotties to get some pleasure out of...... or in other words, doodle on.

<cue intro>

In an institution of higher education, it couldn't be written about in a comedy without it being satirized in some way. And a great way to do that on Pokemon Crystal is with a bunch of ironies. So right now, Crystal (who's not even going to high school) is on the videophone with the antithesis of higher education. To put it normally, she's talking again with Ash Ketchum.

"Hey Crystal..... hey Pikachu..... Sandshrew! Where are you guys?", goes Ash brightly about Crystal and Pikachu and then just barely greeting Sandshrew since he hasn't had one of those ride on his now shattered shoulders at all. "We're still making our way to Celadon City getting as much experience as we can. We're actually talking to you from college right now", mentions Crystal. And Ash responds in the only possible fashion that a 13-14 year old crackbaby can respond to that.

"From where??", he wonders like he's hearing Chinese. Rather than take 10 hours to try to make Ash understand the concept of college, Crystal just tells him that it's a school for people like Justin. She then cites him for making them come here today. "Sounds fun!", says the clueless little boy, "You win any more badges?" "I won a badge from Misty's gym.... why didn't you tell me she was the Cerulean City gym leader?" Ash laughs and then apologizes as Crystal tells him that she was curious why Misty was trying to avoid Cerulean City as Ash responds that it doesn't surprise him, going on to say that Misty's always afraid that people will know about her more attractive, less irritating siblings.

And at that, Misty's heard enough.................... let's just say that Ash is very lucky that his empty skull is nowhere near Misty. Misty then calms down and chuckles, saying, "Well..... for your information Mr. Braindead, Crystal didn't even beat me. Like the match I had against you, it was a draw and Crystal got the badge due to legal mumbo-jumbo." "Pikachu", quips Pikachu in despair witnessing yet another argument. "Well whatever Misty, I'm more interested in playing my Nintendo games than you're excuses", replies Ash. Misty escalates the dodginess mentioning, "All I can say is.... you're lucky you're already crippled."

"Okay, that's about enough!", goes Crystal breaking the two of them up even though they're only communicating through speakerphone. "Let's put off this little argument so we can explore this campus", says Crystal. "But Crystal, I want to talk to you more about your journey", requests Ash. But before Crystal can respond, Mrs. Ketchum calls his name as we see Prof. Oak's curvacious crack fiend telling him that it's time for his "medical care". The horny Meganium also shouts out to him, "Me-gah!", ready to care for him, too.

Make of their 'care' what you will.... Meganium sure will.

"Aw... but mooooom... I just want to have some fun here with my Nintendo. I haven't gotten a chance to play all day", whines Ash. "Aaasshh... you know that you need your medicine to keep the soreness down", responds Mrs. Ketchum. "Oh all right", sighs Ash. "Oh... hello Crystal... hey Pikachu", greets Delia coming over to the videophone. "Hi Mrs. Ketchum.... everything going alright", Crystal asks. Mrs. Ketchum says that they are and that Ash's recovery is doing alright and she looks like she just smoked some crack during her Ash caring break.

Then Crystal and Mrs. Ketchum and Ash say their good-byes and Crystal gets wished good luck by Mrs. Ketchum. And with that, we disconnect from the eventful household of the Ketchums where Meganium is probably raping a helpless Ash right about now. Off the videophone, Justin tells the girls that Celadon City St. is the biggest campus he has looked into. Misty then comments that it looks like a lot of fun to be at college.

Oh she has noooooooooo idea........ none!

Crystal then asks him where they're going to check out first, suggesting the admissions building or the science hall since she knows a lot about freebasing. But Justin replies boldly, deciding like any male would, "Well.... the first place I'm going to check out is.........", while he points up in declaration as the other twerps anxiously await his decision. "........... the sororities!!!", he declares in a sexy voice making Misty, Crystal, Pikachu, and Sandshrew fall over. They get back up and Misty whispers to Cris-tal, "Oh well.... it's a typical guy decision...." "You guys gonna come with me?", wonders Justin. But Misty and Crystal are afraid of competition from the other girls from each other. So Crystal tells Justin with a sweatdrop behind her head, "Uhhh huh huh...... no thanks... we'll check out something else!"

Okay.... so we've already established that the three youngsters have decided to spend the day at a huge school full of testosterone full, flesh hungry young males (not including Justin or Brock if he's hiding out on the campus). We've also already seen a horny Jigglypuff, many dodgy allusions to the word FUN involving all of the twerps and Sandshrew and Pikachu as well, a steamy conversation between Ash and Misty, and Justin eager to race off to the sororities.

So much dodginess.......... and we haven't even gotten to Team Rocket yet. Well now we get a look at Team Rocket as they are also scouring the grounds nearby Celadon City St. University. "Oooooohh.... a college. Wouldn't it be nice if we were smart enough to get good grades to chill there?", wonders James. But Jessie snaps back, "Not now..... we have to look for those twerps pokemon!" "Well I got good news for da botha yas.... according to my electric enuhgy tracker, which picks up electricity from Pikachu, the sensors are indicatin dat da twoips are inside dat school", explains Meowth holding what look like a palm pilot device in his hands.

"That's a fascinating little device you've got there..... you sure it can track Pikachu?", asks Jessie. "No problem.... all I have to do is set da wave frequency on da davice tah Pikachu enuhgy en we'll find Pikachu in no time", says Meowth. "Alright...then let's follow the waves to find the twerps", gushes James as they enter through the main entrance. And so we screen wipe to where Team Rocket thinks Pikachu is....

"Where are we??", wonders Jessie as we see a group of people onstage doing an instrumental recital as well as onlookers in the audience. "I think that this an arts and music stage", comments James who'd definitely know about fine arts being an ar-teest as they're standing in the entranceway. "MEOWTH!! I DON'T SEE PIKACHU OR THE TWERPS ANYWHERE!!!", shout Jessie and James. Meowth is sweating it out because of his failure and then realizes that Pikachu's energy waves must be the same as the waves coming from the instruments.

Meowth gets doubly whacked for his troubles as Jessie complains, "Well this was a waste of time. Now what should we do?" "We're at a college, Jess. Maybe while we're here, we should stay and listen to some of the neat music that's being played here", suggests James so they can fulfill their at-teeestic appetite. "I kin listen to my own music, can't I?", stutters a groggy Meowth.

There are different performers scattered around the stage area just practicing (there's no real performance going on....). The front area of the stage is open and that's the area that Jigglypuff is staring at with starry eyes as she looks from just offstage. And so, Jigglypuff walks out on stage to the intrigue of those watching as she squeals, "Jigglypuff!" "Hey James, do you think Jigglypuff is part of this audition??", asks Jessie as Meowth gapes, "Haw??"

And then Jigglypuff starts to ......... ahem........ perform. "Jiiiiiiigglypuuuuuufff jig-gl-lyyyyyyyypuuuuuuuufff, jiiiiiiiiggglyyyyypuuuuuufff jig-gle-lyyyyyyypuffff..." "Somehow.... I don't think Jigglypuff is part of the act", moans James as Team Rocket is getting drowsy. "<yawn> It's time fuh me ta make like Gahfield en take a nap", yawns Meowth falling asleep on Jessie's lap (he he he.... you know y'all wanna be Meowth). And Jigglypuff sings for a few more moments until she witnesses the music has stopped and that .... well..... so has everyone else. So Jigglypuff gets mad and blows up like an explosive (ok a dud explosive) and switches her mike to a marker......... where do you buy one of those???

Crystal and Misty are outside with Pikachu and Sandshrew walking side by side as they notice all the activities going on. But during all that Pikachu and Sandshrew are merely gettin at each other................................

.......................

.......................

....................... GETCHA MIND OUTTA DA GUTTA!!!

Outside, there's volleyball on the sand court, basketball on the blacktop courts, other hippie type kids throwing around the frisbees. Still other kids are down at this lake testing the water for poisons, dodginess, hiding rocketshippers, and what not. But then Cris-tal and Misty see what's really appealing to them............. pokemon battling.......... between cute college guys no less.

"Wow... a pokemon battle's going on! They must do this all the time at college!", thinks Crystal. "Let's check it out... it looks like a good one", says Misty not sure whether she's alluding to the pokemon.......... or something else. They all go to the battle where they see a boyish looking student with black spiky hair and an Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirt on battling with his Rhydon against a blonde haired shorter kid wearing a black sweater commanding his Gloom.

"Rhydon! Use your horn drill!", commands the black, spiky haired guy. Rhydon charges at Gloom very quickly with its horn spinning and Gloom avoids it with a double team. Gloom's images are moving around very fast and the black haired kid looks anxious that his big, strong Rhydon may get his ass kicked by a puny little Gloom. He then tells Rhydon to stop its double team with an earthquake attack. Rhydon makes the ground rumble but Gloom is ordered to jump and it goes high to avoid the earthquake attack.

It then lands on Rhydon's noggin along with it's other double team images which stuns Rhydon. Then Gloom is ordered to use sleep powder so it cries, "Gloooooom!", before shaking its head like one of those bobble head dolls emitting all its sleep powder. Rhydon looks nervous before its trainer commands it to quickly use its body slam. Rhydon then races like a horse right through the sleep powder and blasts Gloom sending it tumbling into submission as always, displayed by its eyes becoming swirls like those found on Poliwhirl's stomach or mouth....... same thing I guess.

Speaking of Poliwhirl....... I wonder if he's playin those Waterflower hos right about now.

"I gotcha Caleb!! You and Gloom were really good though to throw a scare into us like that", admits the Rhydon trainer who then congratulates his groggy Rhydon. The Gloom trainer, whom we now know is Caleb, gives his opponent his props and then goes to treat his Gloom. Crystal wants to get into this battling thing of course, so she asks this Asian guy next to her if they battle like this all the time. He responds that they do since they're on the intercollegiate pokemon battling team. He then asks her if they're into pokemon...

"Absolutely!", boasts Crystal, "In fact, I'm currently competing in the Kanto League." "A Kanto Leaguer huh?", says the tall Asian guy, "Yeah... I remember my days competing in the Johto and Indigo leagues. How long you had your pokemon?" "I've only been training with them for a few months.... I'm battling for a friend of mine who's currently ill", comments Crystal conveniently avoiding mentioning that most of the pokemon aren't hers.

"That's pretty cool....", states the Asian guy who introduces himself as Victor. "So you're kind of a newbie to pokemon training, huh?", wonders Victor. "Not really, I've been training for years with Sandshrew, I just haven't had time to do anything since I'm training to be a doctor", claims Crystal who doesn't mention that she's got a drug habit she's also occupying herself with. Victor is pleased to hear this as we see Crystal smiling at him in a suggestive and dodgy way.

Victor is somewhat startled at her advance and tells her that he bets that he know what she wants............................... that's right, your trashy minds guessed it............ a pokemon battle!!! What did you think she wanted??? But anyway, Crystal accepts his challenge and states, "I thought you'd never ask..." "Sanshrew!!", shouts Sandshrew leaping up in front of Crystal.

We then go from horny young ladies to a horny young dude as Justin feels just grand being around all the sorority girls. "Ahhh.... this sure is the experience I'd like to come to school for..... Learning about everything...... especially all the ladies.... <silent laughter>", states Justin. "Hey.... over here!", shouts a woman's voice. Justin huh's then turns around to see this gorgeous blonde young girl with a Kappa Delta Epsilon sweatshirt on next to another pretty hot brown haired girl. "Hey", goes Justin as his eyes light up and he raises his eyebrows.

"What are you doin' hangin out here?", wonders Justin. "I was just wondering why you were walking around here?", says the young woman. "Oh... well.... I actually was here to check out the school", responds Justin bashfully. "So you going to attend school here?", asks the blonde girl as they both giggle. "You think I should go here? I'd love to come here with such nice peers such as you two", replies Justin, "I could also use a tour of the school."

"That'd be nice.... but I want to know if you could do me a favor", asks the blonde girl as this steamy scene heats up. "Just ask and the favor's yours", says Justin who's just too easy to be set up by people. "Will you face me in a pokemon battle?", asks the blonde girl becoming fisty. Justin gasps in shock in his own area of the screen as the ladies explain that they've been training pokemon against and beating up sucker guys like Justin.

"But I'm not ready to....", begins to stutter Justin as the girls whimper, ".... but you promised..." .................WHAT.............. BITCHES!!! Justin begins to despair until he thinks to himself, "Wait a minute... why am I scared? I'm the one that almost won the Johto League tournament!" So Justin proceeds to smile at the ladies and remark, "Okay... I'll battle you.... but don't go too tough on me." "If you insist!", says the blonde girl.

Before we see the battle of the sorority girls, we go back to Cris-tal and the fraternity type guys. Victor then tells Crystal that she's battling in the big time now and that he'll prove that she's not ready to hang with collegiate pokemon trainers. Crystal shouts back at him that she has three Kanto League badges and boasts her other accomplishments concluding that she's no marshmallow. An unimpressed Victor replies, "We'll see about that...... come on out, Gligar!" And out comes the pink pokemon that was last seen as a sidekick to a tights wearing comic book store guy. Pikachu pika's at him ready to fight but Crystal goes with Sandshrew instead.

As Pikachu and everyone else around looks on in interest at Victor vs. Crystal, a big young burly guy approaches Misty after she roots for Crystal and asks the young redhead if she's into pokemon, too. Misty blushes and then chuckles, "Oh yeah.... in fact, I'm coaching Crystal in the Kanto League and I'm a gym leader in Cerulean City." The stocky brown haired guy says that that's cool in his deep low voice and offers her a battle of her own because he saw that she was feeling left out of all the pokemon excitement.

Oh.... this is getting great now. These horny college bros are hitting on these 15-16 year old pokemon trainers for battles..... how long would this episode stay at TV-Y or G?

Misty accepts his challenge and the guy then sends out an Electrode into battle so Misty counters by sending out the white version of Peanut's Woodstock, Togetic. But before any actual battling takes place, we have to size up all three twerps in their battles so we go back to Justin against the manipulative sorority bitch. Justin sends out his Nidoqueen to battle who roars raising up her arms and in effect, raising up her boobies.

"I dare you to try and beat my Nidoqueen.... what do you got?", taunts Justin. The blonde bitch sighs and then remarks that she'll just use her most adorable pokemon while Justin states that she's sounding mushy. So she picks the very mushy and adorable.................... Feraligator!! ................. uh oh. "Feraligator!!!..... what kind of sorority trains Feraligators?" The brown haired sorority sister remarks to her sister that she thinks that he's intimidated. "I'm not intimidated.... I've been in bigger and tougher matches than this!!!", yells Justin as the blonde sister replies that maybe so but it doesn't mean he's going to do any better against her than anyone else has at this school before.

We go back to Cris-tal and her hemp and Sandshrew vs. Victor and Gligar as they're battling away. Gligar is told to use its poison sting so Sandshrew curls up in a defense curl to absorb it impressing Victor. Gligar uses its agility to speed around the area and Crystal tells Sandshrew to slow it down with a sand attack. The sand gets in Gligar's eyes forcing it into a nosedive giving Cris-tal the opportunity to have Sandshrew nail it with a skull bash which tags Gligar. It doesn't knock out Gligar though and that impresses Cris-tal in her tunnel vision stare.

Anxious that he's losing to a 15 year old pothead, Victor shouts, "Let's get serious, Gligar! Use your metal claw attack!" Gligar catches up with Sandshrew and tags it with a metal claw electrifying its body in a strange kind of way. Sandshrew takes the damage as Victor shouts at Gligar to attack with the claw harder. But Sandshrew is able to escape when Crystal has it use its sand attack again and then she and Pikachu compliment the rocky rodent for escaping.

We then go over to Misty battling the burly (which means only slightly fat) guy. The young man has his Electrode use a rollout attack and as Electrode rolls towards Togetic, Misty has it use its rollout as well. They both collide and fly away from each other after the impact. Electrode recovers and uses a thunderbolt attack which fries Togetic. Yet the remnants of its evil power as Togepi help it to absorb the impact and not go down.

"Looks like I'll have to pull my trump card here", observes Misty since Togetic is a flying pokemon battling an electric type, "Togetic.... use your metronome!" And so, Togetic begins wagging its fingers back and forth as the burly kid tells his Electrode get ready for anything. Togetic continues to go back and forth.... back and forth..... back and forth.... back and forth...

...... eh f*ck it.... and so on... you know already.

And when Togetic's arms flash blue, it unleashes its attack which is................. (oh the tension)..... a quick attack which the guy points out that tags Electrode. Well......... that was certainly anti-climactic. But unfortunately, a puny little quick attack isn't gonna knock down a collegiate trainer's evolved pokemon. So Electrode finishes off Togetic with a sonic boom attack (he he he) which Togetic can't avoid despite Misty's pleas. Thus, Misty loses her battle so she goes over to check up on Togetic and congratulate the student.

We then check on Justin's battle already underway between Nidoqueen and Feraligator. Nidoqueen tries to use a toxic attack which Feraligator gets around with surprising speed. Nidoqueen then gets violated with a slash attack giving it some more battle scars to go along with its bruises. "Looks like Nidoqueen doesn't have the touch!", teases the blonde Feraligator girl.

......................... (say it with me now)......

.................... YOU BITCH!!!!

But Justin responds to her statement, "I've got something for you to touch!", as the girls react with anxious looks on their faces.

.......................... Oh there's something getting up that's waiting to be touched alright....

Nidoqueen is then told to use its thunderbolt attack and it sizzles Feraligator who does its best to endure it. "A thunder attack?!", wonders the blonde sister. "You should know what to expect when facing a serious Johto League competitor", chides Justin. This makes the bitch shout back at him saying he'll see how serious of a trainer she is and she then has Feraligator blast Nidoqueen with its hydro pump sending Nidoqueen smashing into the brick sorority house knocking it out.

Justin goes to check out Nidoqueen who's knocked silly but otherwise fine so Justin thanks it for its ass whooping it got and then tells it to take a rest calling her back into his pokeball. "Alright..... you got me. You did a great job training that Feraligator", concedes Justin. The sisters only respond with some chuckling after going through a tough battle.

Okay.... so Misty lost..... and Justin lost...... can Crystal salvage the last battle? We see the conclusion where we see Sandshrew unleash its sandstorm attack on Gligar. Gligar seems like its ready to give in but Victor quickly has it use its wing attack which charges at Sandshrew knocking it for loop before Sandshrew crashes to the ground. Crystal and Pikachu urge Sandshrew to try and stay up. But after a few moments of Sandshrew trying to get its wobbly legs to straighten out, they give way and Sandshrew is out of the match.

Crystal runs over to Sandshrew and picks him up. "Oh Sandshrew..... are you alright?", asks Crystal and Sandshrew gives her a soft, "Saaaaa-shrew", in response. Victor then compliments her on her battling saying, "Great job Crystal.... keep training and with your skills, you'll be almost unbeatable." Crystal thanks him and Victor then asks her what she and her friends are doing there. Crystal responds that her friend is looking at colleges to attend once he's done coaching her in the Kanto League.

"Oh cool... so you're going to be here for a little while. Then you're certainly welcome to come join us at our open house social at the Phi Epsilon Zeta house tonight", offers Victor. "It will have food, drinks, and plenty of pokemon, especially water pokemon which is right up your alley", the stocky guy tells Misty. "That sounds great!", replies Misty. "We're sorry that we were so belittling to you, but it was only because we were battling and I do that a lot in competition. We'd love to have you as a guest at the Phi Epsilon Zeta house tonight.... u interested in coming?", says the blonde sorority hotty. "I'll be there!!", respond the threesome at the same time even though they're in different areas. But hey..... they still made it onto the same screen.

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon?? (This electric pokemon has a freaky looking wool around it neck above its chubby body.)

It's Flaaffy ................................ "Flaaaaaaaaaafy!"

Those at the arts theatre, including Team Rocket, are rubbing off the dodgy artwork drawn by Jigglypuff after she doodled on everyone. "I sure didn't come tah college tah sleep true it....", quips Meowth with a sketch that looks like a clover. "That's funny.... I normally got plenty of beauty rest sleeping through classes", mentions Jessie making us wonder if anyone at school might have taken advantage of her during class. At this point, a cute, young, short brown-haired guy approaches them wiping off his glasses as he then apologizes to them for that disruption in the performance.

Jessie looks up at him and in her eyes, he gleams with sparkly cuteness helped by his well dressed manner and his interest in the arts. Jessie bashfully tells him that it's no problem while James looks exceedingly happy at the guy. Ahhhhh.... that's our James!! The kid introduces himself as Clayton and James immediately states with desire that he wishes his name was Clayton.

Yeah he has wishes about Clayton, all right!

Clayton then asks Jessie what brings them to CCSU, and Jessie hesitates, "Well..... uh..... you see..... we were......... looking for......... uh......" "Oh that's right! I forgot today was the open house here", says Clayton, "It's nice of you to check us out doing our work....... we could use a few more fans nowadays." "Oh... well..... uh... no one's bigger fans of experiencing music than us", quips Jessie as James is quick to agree with her. "Da only music experience you two got is when ya playin it while you're dancin around like buffoons", comments Meowth which earns him Jessie's boot smushing him to the floor.

Clayton then suggests that they come to the Phi Epsilon Zeta pokemon social tonight where they can hang out with other potential students...... not to mention any twerps they happen to bring along with them. "Uh... we'd like to come but I'm afraid we're on the lookout for...", starts James mournfully before Jessie shuts his trap. "I'd love to come and meet you at the party tonight", blushes Jessie. "Uh oh..... looks like we're in fuh anutha unexpected party", goes Meowth.

But Jessie tries to change his attitude saying, "Come on, Meowth. It'll be fun... there'll be plenty of pokemon there too!" Meowth suddenly realizes that it IS a pokemon party and then Jessie goes on to assert, "It'll give us all a chance to look our best for all the hotties at the party, isn't that right , James?" "Definitely!", answers James who wants to look his best for the college cuties if ya know what I mean. Clayton leaves them and tells them he'll see them there leaving Jessie to soliloquy about this great chance she has of finally becoming a princess to a dream hunk. "Eh... oh well... at least it'll be party time for us!", schemes Meowth as he starts to grin for multiple reasons....................... many of which can't be mentioned on a PG-13 story.

Catching up with the twerps, we see them touring the academic areas such as the library and class buildings. They're all still feeling a little low however from them being swept in their pokemon battles. "I feel so unskilled after losing to that guy....", mopes Misty. "Oooohhh.. at least you didn't get beat up by a girl...", quips Justin. "What does that mean??!!", presses Misty. "Uh huh huh", laughs Justin nervously, "Well.... it's one thing to get beaten by a girl... but I guess it's another thing to get beaten by you." Misty just growls as Crystal gets fed up with their rivalry outshining any of hers.

"Will you two cut it out!?!?", snaps Crystal. Justin timidly laughs again not wanting to f*ck with the group leader and then apologizes. He then goes on to say, "I may be insulting in a sarcastic type of way, but you still my girls. (puts arm around Misty's shoulder). And tonight, we're all going to have a great time chilling here with all the new friends we meet. You guys ready?", he asks the two pokemon loveboids and they respond enthusiastically. "That's great.... buuuuut... let's finish out the rest of the tour before we get ready for the party", lightly suggests Cris-tal.

Justin okays her suggestion which means she's ready to get ready by smoking all the mary jane she has ready so she can be at her highest... um I mean coolest.

Nightfall has come upon CCSU and the Phi Epsilon Zeta fraternity house. We see many kids socializing and drinking...... yes kids... they're drinking a magic potion that's only safe for ages 18+ and not recommended unless you're at least 21. We like to be image conscious around.... so whatcha gonna do about it?! There are also some girls dancing together (GETCHA MIND OUTTA DA GUTTA) as we hear some club tunes from the nerdy looking DJ. Then, we notice our motley threesome walk in.

"Hey... you guys made it...", greets Victor. Crystal says hi to him but she looks too high to show any real affection towards him. "I'm sure you'll get to talk to plenty of good pokemon trainers here as well as many other cool people", says Justin. "Hey you.... you made it!", greets the sorority girl. "Of course... I couldn't resist the invitation of someone as... uh.. nice... as you", responds Justin. The girl tells them that they're chatting about pokemon upstairs and that there's also pool and Nintendo tournaments going on. "Cool!", says Crystal with Pikachu and Sandshrew looking so adorable just behind her.

"HEEEEEEYYY!", shouts the bulky guy from the top of the stairs that battled Misty, "You guys wanna drink??!", he shouts very inebriated-ly. Misty and Crystal seem to be very interested but in the interest of 4Kids censorship, they hypnotize Justin's brain into him laughing nervously with a sweat drop and telling him, "Uhhhh.... huh huh.. no thanks!" Crystal and Misty look a little confused as if they've never been to a college party before (I know Cris-tal's cracked out but she don't know they put everclear in jungle juice..... I mean come on, they're about 15!! They don't know much yet?).

So Justin suggests to them that they go socialize like anyone at a frat party would do and so they go towards the dance area to check sh*t out. At the same time, Meowth is just outside the frat house waiting for Jessie and James who are still spending times polishing their looks. Jessie is wearing a cutoff shirt and some fashionably colored navy blue sweatpants......... and you're still drooling! James meanwhile, has on a button-down polo shirt and some formal blue pants on with black loafers. "Arencha done fixin yahselves, yet? Ya know ya gonna look like losuhs no mattuh whatcha wear!", says Meowth.

"Quiet, Meowth..... no one can ever look good enough. It's important that we get everything we can to look as good as possible when you're attending an important party. I would be horrified if I had to go to a party unprepared, don't you agree, James?", states Jessie. "Absolutely", says James. Jessie then continues, "We all have to come along and look our best so we can socialize with the elite of Celadon City St. University!" Then we finally see Wobbuffet for the first time as he agrees with her. But Jessie only responds, "I said look our best.... not our worst." She then calls back Wobbuffet who goes out with a 'Wooooooobb' and then they head to the entranceway.

"Name...", goes the door bouncer sullenly who turns out to be campus security officer Jenny. So there actually IS a next step down on the family tree. "Oh... we're the extra special guests of that Claxton guy...", James tells him before Jessie shouts to correct him. The bouncer looks at them enigmatically for a moment and then tells them that they look familiar. But before security Officer Jenny becomes discriminatory, Clayton finds them and greets them and Jessie is very, VERY eager to greet him back. So Jenny assumes that this unique trio is with him and she lets them in.

Jessie then walks in besides Clayton and asks how he's doing. Clayton answers that he's fine and that he's glad they made it.... he then suggests that they all chill with him upstairs with the rest of his music buddies. And isn't it nice that in the pokemon world, musicians and homosexuals can party in the same groovy atmosphere as alcoholics, jocks, and cute sorority girls. Try seeing that in the real world........ it ain't happenin' that much.

But while Cris-tal and her crew are in the midst of their drug filled rave and TR is probably also getting drunk on girly mix drinks, we see something rustle in the bushes. And then, it's the little pink terror Jigglypuff again...... back from bringing down the house at the performing arts center. She looks at the brick fraternity house with everyone inside of it while she also hears the crappy house music that's playing. Jigglypuff seems to be excited because it looks like there are plenty of beautiful people there. So Jigglypuff squeals in excitement as it prepares to bring its melody of terror to end the party.

Back inside the party, the music is turned up so loud that the twerps can't hear each other talk. "This is really loud... I can't hear myself or anyone else", yells Misty. "WHAT??!!", asks Cris-tal who has to be totally stoned by now. "Why aren't you girls dancing?", wonders Justin who's kind of pretending to be dancing but actually watching all the women dance.

The DJ comes on and then eggs everyone on to make some noise. So all the clueless women do and the DJ then shouts, "ALRIIIIIIGHT!!! Let's turn up that bass!!", and the bass goes from already ridiculously loud to foundation shaking. As we hear all the loud BOOM's, Crystal comments about what a sound system they have while the beats are shaking Pikachu and Sandshrew off the ground..... much like they shake when no one's looking. In fact, the vibrations are so violent that they shake Jigglypuff outside the building before one big bass blast actually blows Jigglypuff away.

So much for Jigglypuff wanting to perform live at NYC's Limelight..... or any other city club for that matter.

Team Rocket is hanging out upstairs where everyone is just socializing and everything. "How do you think my hair looks?", Jessie asks James. "For the 27th time, it looks great", sighs James with Meowth in front of him and Wobbuffet behind him though I'm not sure they're aware of that. "Ohh... we're going to have such a fun time here.... just think.... all these cute guys here", blushes Jessie. "Oh, I know", answers James who's happy to see all the guys, but is getting a little worn down from Jessie's goings on about Clayton and the rest of the guys. He he he....

"Yeah... it'll be a blast.... and we can have some mischief and success while we're at it, too!", suggests Meowth, "Are ya in on it?" "You want us to secretly swipe all these people's pokemon? After they've been so good to us?", wonders James anxiously. "It's da Team Rocket way, ain't it?", replies Meowth. "Hooohhhhh.. I don't want to lose Clayton........ but a chance to get our hands on some of the best trained pokemon around is worth the risk!!!", decrees Jessie.

So we then see the threesome and co. socializing with everyone while TR pretends to socialize with everyone. We then get to see the threesome talking amongst themselves again and Crystal asked Justin if he had a good college experience. "Definitely! I would love coming to this school provided that they don't time any of my exams........... I take awhile to write, you know!", enthusiastically states Justin. Sandshrew then compliments him for taking all of them out when Victor comes in and brings them the bad news.

He claims that all of his pokeballs are missing and the twerps then gasp in amazement. The burly kid and the blonde sorority bitch (who has a guy behind him that looks like he's hooking up with her) then follow suit and complain about their missing pokeballs. Then, we hear a whole rash of complaints about party goers losing their pokeballs as well. "Oh no... there's a thief around here!", yells Cris-tal in disgust as Victor agrees with her viewpoint. "But who could've done such a terrible thing!", yells Misty as the DJ's music stops with the trouble going on. That is when the twerps hear a, "WOOOOOOBBBUUUUHHHFFET!", echoing from a closed room. So Misty, with her most basic of knowledge, suggests that maybe there's something to check out in there.

The threesome opens the door and to their shock, they see Team Rocket in there with a huge sack of something. "Huh?", TR goes before panicking, "Haaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!! It's the twerps!" "It's Team Rocket!", goes the threesome. "And look.... all the pokeballs that got lost are in their sack!", claims Misty. So now all the people are looking menacingly at Team Rocket. "Give back those pokemon right now!!", uselessly demands Crystal. So then Team Rocket stops being nervous and goes into rhyming mode.

"Ahaaa! Indeed we've crashed party hall"
"And now we've got your pokeballs!"
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all peoples within our nation"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love"
"To extend our reach to the stars above"
"Jessie"
"James"
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight"
Wobbuffet tries to get in to interrupt Meowth but the angry scratch-cat immediately shoves Wobbuffet aside to finish, "Meeeeeowth, that's right!"

"Whoa... you're with Team Rocket, Jessie?", wonders Clayton trying to stick his head above one of the big, tall, pissed off guys. "Ohhhh.... I'm so sorry about this but I'm evil. This is just the way I am...", mourns Jessie since you know...... she can't help being beautiful and (to most guys) dead sexy. "Well.... as usual we have to teach you three a lesson..... I choose", goes Crystal cutting in. But before she throws out a pokemon, she doesn't grab anything and gasps, "Oh no! I don't have my pokeballs!........ Ohhh... they must've stolen mine, too!" Justin and Misty then discover that their pokeballs were taken as well.

TR laughs and then Meowth announces that they made sure to get every last party goer's top quality pokemon. Crystal then grrrr's at her arch rival Jessie and then Victor yells at them that they have TR surrounded. "Not for long..... Weezing, use your smog attack!", replies James who throws out Weezing. Weezing then slows the college kids down with its ugly looks and its poisonous smog. TR then bumps and shoves their way out of the frat house and into their happy Buddha-faced Meowth balloon.

Once inside their balloon, everyone else races out led by the threesome even though they were bunched behind a slew of others closer to this door. Crystal then makes the useless demand for TR to give back their pokemon which Sandshrew and Pikachu join in the demand for. Team Rocket naturally refuses as Meowth then says that there are only two things left to get. "Then let's get 'em", say J & J in tandem firing net bazookas that capture Sandshrew and Pikachu. "Sandshrew! Pikachu!!", shouts Crystal as Pikachu shouts and struggles to get out of the bondage it's in that, probably, it normally likes to be in with Sandshrew.

Once TR has every pokemon, Clayton then dramatically acts out about the tragedy asserting, "Oh..... what a horrible travesty for such a sweet rose like Jessie to be involved with." This pales in comparison to the average male or lesbian dodger's reaction to Jessie's criminal ways which would consist of sexy whistling and then a no-brain comment like 'Whoa dude... it's a bummer that she's a total con artist'. "Well... it's time for us to make our shipment to the boss", says Jessie. "You can't stop us now...... unless you use your pokemon", jokes James as they all begin to laugh in their weird TR way.

They then begin to fly away as Misty shouts for them to come back. Crystal then appeals for Sandshrew to slash its way out of its net with its claws saying that it's their only chance. So Sandshrew then begins to use its claws to try and make its way through the net. But the rope is very thick and very tough so it doesn't break very easily. Crystal shouts, encouraging Sandshrew to keep trying. So Sandshrew uses its buff muscular bod that stole Pikachu's heart trying, ripping, tearing, and pulling at the thick netting to try and rip it open. And as everyone watches in hope and some amazement, Sandshrew eventually rips open his net after a few tense seconds escaping from capture.

Sandshrew then scampers up past Team Rocket as they go, "Huh?", and Sandshrew climbs up to the balloon and tears holes in it with its claw. All the college pokemon people are amazed by Sandshrew's abilities as Team Rocket shouts and crashes towards Earth scattering the pokeball bag right in front of the threesome. Weary from the fall, Jessie gets up and moans, "Ohhh.... we almost got away...... curse that Sandshrew!!!" "Ya know..... him and Pikachu is kinda like our own poisonal antichris", quips Meowth. "That's Anti-Christ!", shouts James in campy style as Wobbuffet comes out to nod it's head in agreement and salute at the same time.

Jessie just gets frustrated by all the antics going on and then just screams for the twerps to blast them off again. "NO!", shouts Justin in response, "It ain't that simple (TR huhs)........ because you see, I came here to have a fun college experience before I go off to school next year! Everything was going great until you three losers ruined it!" "And that's why we're going to make you pay for what you've done to these guys!", adds Crystal. "I and the rest of the students want to teach them a lesson, too! You don't steal a pokemon from a CCSU student without taking a toll", informs Victor.

Crystal then rebutts, "That's very nice but I want to punish these three myself!", and with her pokeballs back, she throws out Cyndaquil who comes out with its, 'Cyndaquil!' squeal. Cyndaquil then torches Team Rocket with its flamethrower making TR run around like crazy until they find temporary salvation in the campus lake. "Looks like Team Rocket's all burnt out!", quips Cris-tal in unusual PUN-ishment with Sandshrew smiling and Pikachu then rushes out towards Team Rocket wanting to punish them some more. The merciless rat!!!!!

"For once, I agree with that heartless twerp", mutters Jessie. "Wooooooooooobbbuuuuhhffet", Wobbuffet remarks before Pikachu sticks its tail in the water without Crystal's instruction and shocks a soaked Team Rocket to the bone. Misty then gets into the action and calls out Horsea who goes into the water. Now with the water just getting a shock, you would think that Horsea would be hurt by splashing into the water but with the steroids that Misty's sisters (and perhaps brother?) gave it, there's no such threat for Horsea.

Misty then has it use a twister attack where Horsea circles around TR like the Daytona 500 creating a huge vortex which picks Team Rocket up out of the water and it sends them up into the night sky.

"Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!! Team Rocket's blasting off agaaaaaaaaaiiin!" "Woooobbbuuuhh"

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon?? (This pokemon is handy as a construction tool but not really a sex tool.)

It's Rhydon!! .......................................... "Rrraaaaaaaaarrrr!"

Back outside the frat house, the college pokemon trainers are praising the threesome for how they've dealt with TR and trained their pokemon. "You did an amazing job you guys. You're even better than I thought you were, Crystal", says Victor. Cris-tal thanks him in response but is too stoned to say anything else. Victor then moves onto Justin and tells him that he was great, too, and that their pokemon team would benefit from one of the finalists in the Johto League. Justin laughs it off that they're making it very hard for him to resist going there once he's ready to go to school. "I'd think you'd be a great addition to our team!", adds the sorority girl perhaps implying that she's a league trainer, too.

"And I'm sure I'll be interested in pokemon training once I get into school, too", comments Crystal who should have her ass in school right about now if she's wants to go to college in a few years. Misty says that it's great that everyone that everyone is having their dreams but that now that everyone has their pokemon back, it's time to party once again. In other words, it's time to get a little more drunk. And with that, once Crystal's Kanto League run is over, it'll be time for this threesome of suburban kids to go back to their life and be given opportunities (like going to college) and money that they don't deserve. It's kinda like living in northern New Jersey.......... or any suburb for that matter.