Dragonitemare presents

Pokemon Crystal series

Ep. 40

Ahahahahahahahahaaaaaa! That's so clever... ha ha haahh... shrew..... a shrew.... being shrewd.... or shrew-d.............. hahahahahahahhahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... I don't even know what the hell shrewd means.... a shrew..... a Sand-SHREW..... being shrewd....... aaaaahhhahahaha.....<proceeds to laugh without purpose>

Ignore my pointless, time wasting, drunken stupor. Because we notice that the threesome has finally trudged their way into Celadon City. Thus, everyone is walking happily as they approach the gym which Misty points out, is just a few miles away. Crystal is happy cuz she'll be there in no time and she'll get to enjoy all the sights and smells of the grass pokemon...........

Okay........... you should know where I'm taking that...........

While Crystal has cannabis dreams dancing in her cloudy head, Justin suggests that they go find somewhere to have lunch suggesting there has to be a great restaurant nearby. This idea is like by everyone, especially the joyous Pikachu who leaps up eager to fill his round yellow belly. Misdreavus is also interested...... but not in food as she comes out saying, "Misdreeee!", in that lusty voice. Justin responds in ironic surprise saying, "Misdreavus, you can't even eat...." "Misdree", goes the horny ghost again who's interested in eating Just... eh..... I don't feel like being a pervert.

Misty then goes on about how Celadon City is on the cutting edge of all the newest fashion and style trends and points out, "... even those Sandshrew over there are all dressed up like cuties!" Boy, it doesn't take much to infatuate Misty, doesn't it?

No wonder she fell so easily for Spooky Danny.....

They spot a trio of Sandshrews dressed up in tuxes standing outside a door to a small looking building. Now I know what you're thinking............................. RODENT STRIP JOINT!!! Regardless, we see Sandshrew then turns to see them and then tries to greet them from a distance as if they're his homies goin, "Saanshrew sanshrew!!" "That looks pretty cool.... I want to check it out!", says Justin suddenly becoming curious...... in maybe more than one way. Sandshrew and Pikachu also go over to try and socialize with some of their own as Crystal wonders what they could possibly be doing.

<cue intro>

Sandshrew goes over to the others of its kin and goes, "Shrew sanshrew." "Saaaaaaann-shrew!", snorts the one Sandshrew who turns his nose up at Sandshrew. But another Sandshrew shouts at him, "Sanshrew shrew shrew!", for being so arrogant. The third Sandshrew welcomes them as Sandshrew greets them and introduces his lover, Pikachu. Misty then comes over to gush over them, "You guys are such cuties dressed up like thaaaaat." "Are you guys going to the prom?", wonders Justin stupidly. "Grow up, Justin", responds Crystal who proceeds to ponder aloud, "I wonder how you guys (her pokemon) would look going to a prom."

Now wouldn't we all like to know.................

Well we will............ with a glamorous background of a sparkling background we see Sandshrew in a great looking, expensive tux while Pikachu..... is glamorous in a dress??? Ay............ whatever... make of it what you will. At that point, they hear someone shout, "Hey hey hey.... what are you doing to my Sandshrew... get awaaaaaayy!", with a horrible fake French accent. The threesome and pokemon shout in panic as the scary looking guy with gelled blonde hair chases them away. The threesome scatters for a moment and then Crystal recovers enough to apologize to the guy and say that they just were curious why they were dressed up. The guy calls himself George and that his Sandshrew are a part of the pokemon fashion show and that he can't have them crumpling up their suits with scuff marks and wrinkles.

Well............ fashion coordinator? Afraid of scuff marks? And wrinkles on outfits pokemon are wearing when pokemon hardly ever wear any clothes?...... Well that definitely speaks volumes about that guy....

"They have fashion shows for pokemon??", wonders Justin who must've figured out he's obviously James-type gay. "Why yes.... it's very popular here in Celadon City", replies George. "It's the fashion mecca of the world.... what d'ya expect?!", asks Misty. "Sandshrew shrew", Sandshrew tugs at Crystal's capri pants. Crystal hints this as Sandshrew wanting to see the fashion show. So since Crystal wants to keep her pokemon satisfied even though it delays her from the grass-type experience, she asks the guy if they can attend the fashion show. The guy replies that they sure can since admission is free and that they'll see pokemon looking their most gorgeous with images of glamorous looking pokemon on the screen. "Uhhhh.... do you guys really wanna check this out?", wonders Crystal who really wasn't expecting another stupid pokemon thing to pop up every five minutes for them to check out.

She should've really known better now.... shouldn't she?

But Pikachu and Sandshrew want an excuse to date before they get a strenuous gym battle workout so they insist that they all go. But that's nothing compared to Misty who quickly and loudly demands, "Yes yes yes..... ohhhh we have to go and see all the adorable looking pokemon in their adorable looking outfits!!", with sparkles in her eyes. This makes Justin whisper dumbfoundedly to Crystal, "No wonder she fell for Togepi so easily..." "Yeah...", agrees Crystal.

One more argument in favor of the cuteness = evil theory...... ka-ching!

So they go inside the fashion show where we see a big runway and seating for about a few hundred which looks pretty sold-out. So you would think our threesome, of which none of them are fashion aficionados nor have they enough status to get quality seats. But since Cris-tal a stash of money from.... well.... we're not supposed to know about... and since they have a connection with elitist extraordinaire Prof. Oak, and since they're the stars of the Pokemon series.... why... they're able to grab a seat two rows away from the fashion runway.

The woman emcee then welcomes everyone again to the Celadon City Pokemon Fashion Show even though its the first time we see it. She then goes on to say that the fashion show is resuming. She introduces a Blissey wearing a long skirt and a dark blue blouse that exposes her egg. Kind of like those jeans that exposed the buttocks of Prince/who later became unpronounceable symbol/who later reverted back to Prince way back when. Then the emcee introduces a..... OH SWEET JEBUS, NOT A BUNCH OF PICHUS!!!!! Ahhh.... crap!!!

In any event, the male crappy Pichus all come out wit widdle shirts and widdle ties while thefemales of the breed come out in dresses and widdle Easter bonnets. Now ain't dat coot! Pikachu greets its kin shouting, "PIKAAAAAAAH PIKACHUUU!", because even though Pichus suck horse nuts, they're still Pikachu's relatives as unfortunate as that may be for Pikachu. "I certainly do like a lot of these patterns.... I can't wait to wear them", says Crystal. "I can't wait to see all the pretty babes wear patterns like those", states a horny Justin as Misdreavus pops up behind him startling the young lad. "Misdreavus? What are you doing out of your pokeball.... do you really want to check out this fashion show?", wonders Justin as Misdreavus responds, Mis-dreeeeee." Justin thinks that.... most likely.... Misdreavus agrees and wants to see the fashion show.

...................

...................

Well he'll certainly soon see, won't he?............. Maybe a lot sooner than he thinks.

We continue to see Sandshrew, Pikachu, and Misty enjoy the fashion show when a thin young beauty comes up to Justin and says, "Excuse me.... but are you enjoying the fashion show?" Justin looks over and sees the blonde babe sparkling with beauty as she strokes her anime-style long hair. "Well.... uh... yeah.... definitely!", replies Justin as he's suddenly lovestruck. The girl then tells him that her pokemon, a couple of Charmanders and Charmeleons, are sporting some summer attire. "That sounds hot!", replies Justin as he's staring right at her..... um.... well, right at her. He goes on to say that he's going to cheer extra loud for her....................... and her Charmander and Charmeleon. "Oh thank you!", replies the babe lightly sounding like she's kinda sexin it. But that's not all.... Justin and gorgeous babe lady continue to chatter with Justin in the row in front of her.

"Someone's looking for a girlfriend... aren't they?", snickers Crystal. "Crystal... what do you take me for, a cheap womanizer? I'm just trying to have a nice conversation with this young lady", responds Justin. "Sorry... sorry", Crystal says as she quiets down as Justin tells her not to worry about it. So Justin continues to chatter with the hottie as she twiddles her hair in that kind of way that a girl wants a guy while Justin smiles as he talks to her. So this little possible couple seems like a great one to flourish here since Crystal has already okayed it and since Misty is too concerned with the coot pokemon fashion show. They're a match made in Pokemon Crystal heaven.

.......... But that does not sit well at all with Misdreavus. She witnesses this and reacts with glowing rage at the fact that some other girl is ogle-ing Justin. Justin is about to ask her, "Hey... um... I was thinking, I'll be in town for about a week or so and I was curious if..." But he doesn't get to finish as Misdreavus gets jealous and zaps Justin with a jolt of energy and then scowls, "Misdreavus!!!", at the babe to tell her to keep her slutty hands off him. The girl obeys and sits back down in her seat in fear as the two other shocked girls back away from the fried guy. "I don't know about you, Misty, but I think Misdreavus is the one that's owning Justin", comments Cris-tal. "Ooohhhhhh.... you seem all charged up, Misdreavus. You better take a break in your pokeball", utters Justin devoid of any energy as he sucks Misdreavus back up (I DON'T FEEL LIKE SAYING IT TODAY!!!) into the pokeball.

After Misdreavus leaves with her dodginess, George comes back out with his dodginess. "Hey.... zere you guys are!", he says with pleasant surprise. "Hey... are your Sandshrew coming out soon?", wonders Misty. "Indeed.... and forgive me for my rudeness earlier. I am a senior designer for Georgio Armani", explains George, "and my Sandshrew are with me to sport ze latest pokemon business wear. It's going to look very exquisite." "That looks all cute and everything...... but why do pokemon need to have businesswear?", wonders Justin. This makes George (well, since he's obviously a James-type flamer, let's call him Georges) gasp and pause in mid-motion as his (supposed) French ally Pikachu mutters, "Pika-chu", in disappointment at Justin.

"Ay ay ay.... haven't chu ever heard of ze pokemon business world??", yells Georges in gay fashion (no PUN-ishment intended). "It is a pretty fast growing sector of our business at Georgio Armani. My Sandshrew are my star models, you see", he goes on as we learn that it's just capitalism as usual. Crystal then tells him that they went to see it so Sandshrew and Pikachu can check out the other Sandshrews. Georges explains as we see diagrams of each of his activities as he mentions them, "I hope you like them.... I spent countless hours ironing, dry cleaning, dusting, measuring, and polishing each article of clothing. We also went over how to stress their fashion fortes on ze runway." "There seems to be a ton of preparation that goes into these shows", smirks Crystal secretly as she's just as skeptical as Justin is here.

"Absolutely... it is all done very meticulously. Because today's show for us has to be flawless!", he demands. "TODAY'S DISPLAY FOR US HAS TO BE PERFECT!", yells Jessie as we zip to a couple of people who are real fashion experts (not to mention people that are much nicer to look at). We see the two of them zipping all over the changing room to make all the hundreds of little necessary adjustments that need to be made. "We can't leave any stone unturned if we're going to go out there", remarks James wearing a blue vest, dark brown khakis, and pinkish-purplish shades. "James, these star patterns on Meowth look crooked, they're not going to work", complains Jessie. "Look crooked, I'm sad cuz I feel crooked wearin all dis junk", sadly quips Meowth.

"But Jess...", responds James. "I don't want to hear anything.... I didn't forge a fake signature to gain access to this fashion show just to have a mediocre exhibition!", shouts Jessie. "Jessie, don't you understand??!", yells back James sounding oh so queer, "these are rounded starpatterns. That's why they don't look the way you expect them, too!" "Oh look, James, here's a replica of that dental floss excuse for a dress that Jennifer Lopez wore to the Grammy Awards. Maybe I dress this up on Weezing", says Jessie. "Out of the question", responds fruity James as we see all of Team Rocket's pokemon all dolled up, "it would cover over the make-up work I did on Weezing", he complains as we see the ugly abomination behind him.

Meowth contests his plea commenting correctly, "Ain't no amountah make-up in da woild is gonna keep Weezin from lookin ugly." "Meowth, stop picking those stickers! They have to stay on youproperly", shouts Jessie. "Woooooooooooooooobbbuuuuuhhhffet!", agrees Wobbuffet with a spiky Brad Pitt style hairdo on its blue scalp, saluting all of Jessie's coordination. "Stop saluting!!! You'll frizz up the hairstyle I worked so diligently on", shouts Jessie. "Wooooooooobbbuuuuhhffet", replies Wobbuffet. Meowth then gets out of trouble with Jessie.... and proceeds to get back into trouble with James when he gets bored again and starts to play around with all the rings on Qwilfish's spikes as the puffy fish pokemon lays basically unmoving in a small little tank.

"MEOWTH!!", shrieks James, "Stop playing with Qwilfish's rings!" "Daaahhh... it's just one ring", sobs Meowth lightly. "Meowth, they have to all be in place correctly or else it won't look symmetrical", states James boldly. "Da only ting dat ain't symmetrical or functional is you twos heads", quips Meowth. We then see the other two pokemon, Arbok and Victreebel, all dressed up in boas and jewelry and make-up as well. A stage hand comes in and tells them that their show is on in ten minutes. "Eeeeeeeeee... Ten minutes?", squeals James, "But we still have to tailor Arbok's satin snake gown, pick out accessories for Weezing, and polish up Victree..." Before he finishes, Victreebel swallows his head as he zips over by him as James tried to explain what he still had to do with Victreebel. "Jessie looks at the scene with a sweat drop behind her head as she orders, "Let's just freshen them up one last time before we go up on stage." "WOOOOOOOOOOOBBBUUUUUUHHHFFET!", finishes Wobbuffet who salute even when Jessie specifically instructed Wobbuffet not to do so.

Now Team Rocket............... THERE... is some expertise in fashion ar-teeestry...

Back alongside the runway, the threesome and Georges listen to the woman emcee announce the next act.......... one that has a couple of familiar faces like 'em or not. Why next up is.....Suzie!!! She looks so pretty in her pink evening gown that was hand-stitched. And oh yeah..... there's Vulpix, too! She's also sporting some kind of pink pokemon dress which it looks rather ugly in. But then again, the dress is decent looking compared to Vulpix itself.

After Suzie and Her Shite-ness leave to the applause of the threesome, we then see Georges's Sandshrews strut out on stage in their mini-Armani tuxedos. As they're strutting down the runway while the emcee explains all the little intricate details of their clothing such as 'Wash in warm water and please, dry clean only', Georges is still coaching his Sandshrew yelling at them from the audience to keep their chins up and to bend their knees as they powerwalk down the runway.

They finish their exhibition and they get the loudest applause and most flash bulbs ringing, yet. Even the threesome and pokemon couple are impressed as Crystal comments, "Wow.... that did look really good... wouldn't you agree, Sandshrew?" "Sanshrew", responds the off-yellow colored rodent as Pikachu also pika's in approval. "I have to admit.... they were the best act out of everyone so far. They looked... fashionable... wouldn't you say, Misty?", states Justin. But all Misty can say staring at the runway is, "Ahhhh.... cutiiiiiiiiiieeees!" "Looks like Misty's out of it today... there's no getting through to her", suggests Crystal. We then see Georges next to her singing the praises of his Sandshrew saying that they looked absolutely great on the runway and that Georgio Armani Headquarters in New York will love him for it. "It was magnifique!", he concludes.

And so, the art of fashion and clothing design has even given in to so far as this case to big business capitalism. So the Armani execs can now overcharge A/X pokemon t-shirts to stupid people that put clothing on their pets. But coming up next though, are a pair that do fashion for the love of the ar-teestry, to raise funds for their impoverished selves as they continuously fail under crime lord Giovanni and his crime ring. The emcee announces the show previewing, "Up next, fashion aficionados, is a new pair of designers that can make your pokemon shine like the rainbow in their dazzling array of garments, suits, lingerie, jewelry, and other shiny accessories. They are the dressers to the stars that will rocket your pokemon into the 'in' crowd... <in an sarcastic aside to herself> Who wrote all this weird stuff? <end aside> Give it up for Mr. Michel-Jean Pierre Escargot and Ms. Catrina Ettouffee!!!"

We then hear a round of applause as the curtain rises up to reveal Jessie and James in their always fashionable disguises with blue and pink shades though no change in hair style. Behind them are their masterpieces done on Arbok, Wobbuffet, Meowth, Weezing, Victreebel, and ring studded Qwilfish who's over in the water pokemon fountain. Jessie and James throw out their arms and go, "Ha haaaaaaah!", as they look beaming in their blazer (Jessie) and figure skating outfit with the chest exposed (James). And what's Cris-tal's hallucinogenic reaction to all of Team Rocket's visual works?? Why... all she can say is a simple, cracked out, Ash-like, "HUH?"

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon?? (Evolved form of the Princess of Crapville... see part of story above.)

It's Ninetales...................... "Niiiiiinetales."

TR is out on stage as the threesome looks on from their second row primo seating staring at this fruity looking duo with familiar hair trying to find a connection. But they aren't guided or misguided by Ash, therefore, they believe they see a connection here. "Hey guys.... is it just me? Or does this DUO and their pokemon look suspicious?", states Justin emphatically. "Yeah... they remind me of Team Rocket", answers Crystal. "Do you REALLY think it's them in disguise?", wonders Misty who's snapped out of her cuteness spell for a second. "I don't know", remarks Justin, "... they just remind me of them a lot." "Well just keep your eyes open.... You never know when it comes to Team Rocket", Crystal reminds everyone.

And with all the aderol that Cris-tal snorted earlier, sure.... she'll have no problem staying awake... That CRACKHEAD!!! It's even worse that she's ordering everyone else to stay awake with her.

But fortunately to help everyone do just that, TR put on a colorful display of only the most exquisite of new fashions. "Hello everyone... we hope you like all the fabric and color displays we put on all these darlings", announces Jessie. "We threw in satin, silk, cashmere, cotton/polyester blends, satin/polyester blends, and denim trimmings for the fabrics. Not to mention all types of jewelry including gold, silver, emeralds, diamonds, rubies, and of course, sapphires.... oooooooohh!", details James gleefully. He he he.

The emcee then goes into detail about Ms. Ettoufee's and Mr. Escargot's pokemon fashions. First, she details on Arbok as it slithers first down the runway donning a green cashmere vestwith a cotton tail sock. Arbok's also wearing silver sunglasses and a sparkling white ruffle surrounding its entire neck area. Its wardrobe is topped off with an emerald pendant on its chest. As it goes back up the runway, flash bulbs are going off like strobe lights while Misty gushes about how cool it looks.

Next the dirty work, the emcees announces Weezing as it bounces down the runway sporting that J-Lo Grammys dress that was mentioned earlier as it's studded with tiny sparkling diamonds. Weezing also has a band strapped between its two heads with pearl beads. And of course, there's tons of makeup done by James personally to try and make it look pretty. But not even the ar-teestic fashion expert James can make Weezing look not ugly despite the J-Lo dress covering most of its face.... I mean.... it just ain't possible if neither Jessie nor James can't do it. Nevertheless, Weezing somehow gets its share of photos taken for all the needless pokemon fashion magazines.

Like needless magazines like American Quilting Biweekly, Australian Hockey Monthly, and Sports Illustrated for Kids could ever show up in the real world, right?

Next up, the emcee announces Victreebel as it goes out on the runway once Weezing departs with its ugly presence. Victreebel is wearing a red dress that fits snugly around the outside of its bulb with little matching floral designs on each of its leaves. There are more sparkling decorations around the dirty mouth of Victreebel with more diamonds and painted designs on its body. The audience gives Victreebel a hand (figuratively... not literally. That's what James is for) as it bounces and screams its way back up the runway. This triggers positive reactions from the threesome with Crystal saying, "Those are some pretty unique fashions." "You call them unique... I call them funky!", replies Justin as we hear Misty gush out, "What a cutie Victreebeeeeeeeeeel." This prompts him to sigh disheartenedly with sweat drops behind him.

The emcee directs everyone's attention to the water fountain where Qwilfish is jumping and swimming around. She describes that Qwilfish is wearing a bunch of chartreuse and navy blue waterproof make-up and each of its spikes are studded with golden rings. Qwilfish's appearance is leaving all of the fashion critics and fashion police talking about how visually stunning the normally not-so-appeasing looking pokemon looks. After Qwilfish's description, Meowth then asks J & J how they could afford all those fancy fabrics and jewelry when they have hardly any TR income anymore.

"Oh that's simple, Meowth. Those aren't real gold, silver, diamond, and other rare jewels", explains Jessie. "That's right. All the sparkly stuff on these pokemon are just glitter. We just tell everyone that we really have these rare stones when in fact, we can't afford them. For instance, that emerald pendant on Arbok is fake", adds James. "We have to cut corners since we're on a tight budget...", reminds Jessie. "That's right. It's not just the rich that have all the brilliant fashion ideas", claims James. And man, isn't that true. Take heed Republicans!

"Woooooooooooooooobbbuuuuuuuhhffet!", agrees Wobbuffet as it salutes them messing up its shiny new hairdo. But Jessie responds, "Stop loafing around.... you're up!", and then violently pushes Wobbuffet out onto the runway. The emcee then describes Wobbuffet's patiently pleased look as he sports sparkly blue sunglasses and a shiny leather jacket. It also is sporting some fake silver just below its jacket around its Wobbuh-dick area. And the emcee states that its "new age" look is capped off with brightly colored designs underneath its jacket and a great redefining haircut. Everyone gives our patiently pleased blue friend a hand and Wobbuffet salutes proudly saying, "Wooooooooooooobb", as it wobbles back up the runway.

The emcee then calls out Meowth next as he begins to stroll down the runway.

The emcee points out Meowth's embroidery all over his body telling the crowd about the satin shirt he's wearing.... not to mention the pink leather hot pants. Not to mention all the rounded stars that Jessie painted all over Meowth's body. Meowth walks down the runway saying to himself somberly, "Dese hot pants are what's really boinin me up." The emcee concludes by describing Meowth's (fake) diamond studded belt and then asks for applause and gets it. Meowth then concludes out loud that, "And dis belt can really attract da ladies... dey love dem diamonds ya know!"

"Did that Meowth just talk?", wonders Misty who's surprised at this. "It certainly did.... That must be Team Rocket", concludes Crystal who proves she does have a chance to graduate high school. "What could they be up to now?", wonders Justin. Jessie and James spot them standing up and pointing them out rudely. "Aaaaaaaahh... the twerps??? How did they get in here??", panics Jessie. "Can't they not pop up everywhere we go illegally for once?", wonders James. "Wooooooooooooooobbbuuuuuuuhh wooooobbbuuuuuhh", adds Wobbuffet looking on. Then, the emcee asks the critics in the audience to give TR a hand for their fashion exhibition and they get aloud and positive reception as they recover to take a bow.

Hooray for Jessie and James!

"Oohhh... I really needed that good type of feeling. I've been feeling really low lately after failing to capture those twerps' pokemon", mentions James. Georges then says about them, "Zey really know what zey're doing. I applaud zese young designers totally", as he continues to clap and look exceptionally happy. And why not........ he gets to see James on stage. But Jessie and James's moment in the sun is about to come crashing to a halt. Because, some short impish dude with a terrible British accent rushes in and tells the event coordinators in the first row opposite the twerps that the real proprietors of this part of the fashion show were denied access to the event because the TR signed the application form that was supposed to go to the real fashion proprietors named Mr. Escargot and Ms. Ettouffee.

To put it bluntly.... he tells the panel that J & J are imposters.

"How dare you two mock this fashion exhibition? You and your pokemon need to gather together and leave at once", goes the ungrateful program coordinator who doesn't care that TR brought them some new and inventive fashions that none of their bloated asses could ever come up with. Lousy good guys on Pokemon...... Team Rocket is not to be treated like the Trix Rabbit. They are human beings dammit, and they have rights that the Geneva Convention proposal has entitled them to. But all the twerps can see out of this is TR's so-called wickedness with Crystalgoing, "I should've known that they'd pull something like that." Justin is then led to tell her, "Then you should also know what's about to happen." "What do you think you two are up to?", shouts the head greedy event coordinator. At that point, all the lights somehow go out except for a spotlight that is flying around the place.

"Prepare for trouble, we're making a statement"
"And make it double or your style will be latent", as they appear in the spotlight silhouettes.
"To protect the world from devastation", goes Jessie as throughout the motto, they slide out wearing a different gorgeous looking outfit each time.
"To unite all peoples within our nation"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love"
"To extend our reach to the stars above"
"Jessie"
"James", as they both pop up in the spotlight with a giant flashy 'R' dropping in behind them.
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight"
"Meeeeeeeeeeowth, that's right!", finishes Meowth sliding up to J & J.

"You're right... I should've seen that coming", Cris-tal confirms to Justin. "Well done, you snobby no-brain money hogs.... we are imposters... and so are these so-called jewels we were sporting", says Jessie who then laughs. "Those cheaters", groans Crystal as the event bosses all snort obnoxiously at Team Rocket. "And not only are we leaving this junk here with you...",adds James. "We're alsa gonna swipe da real babies, too!", finishes Meowth with his trusty one button remote in his paw. "Ohhh no you're not!", replies Crystal as the threesome jumps out on stage to confront them.

"Hmmph", snorts Jessie, "Not only are you not stopping us..." "But we gots sumtin dat'll take ya out in a flash", adds Meowth as TR all puts on sunglasses. "Fire the auto-mega bright flash photography cameras!", decrees James as only he can. "Here goes", says Meowth pushing the big red button causing the power to go out and several giant cameras around the building to rise up from out of the floor. Then as the threesome are looking around at the giant cameras with the giant bulbs, they begin to take pictures apparently at a very fast rate. The problem with this is that the flashes are so bright and so fast that they blind everyone paralyzing them to their seats or wherever they're standing.

At this point, we are brought to this question..... how did TR get around to all those areas of the fashion show arena to install those huge things?? Let alone of course, how they installed them mechanically within the facility and how they snuck the things into the building.

"UUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHH!!", shouts the threesome. "I can't see anything.... the flash is too bright", shouts Justin through all the camera noise. "I can't see where I'm goin'.... nor can Ispot out Team Rocket", complains Crystal. Jessie then laughs as TR swipes all the jewelry the fashion designers and yuppies are carrying. "My jewels!", shouts Snobby British Lady in the 4^th row. "We making a pokemon fashion statement.... and a Team Rocket statement", ecstatically says Jessie. "And we're flashin' our best looks en schemes tah make it pictcha poifect", adds Meowth as if he can PUN-ish us enough in one sentence. We then see Georges's Sandshrews get caged by James as they all fight unsuccessfully to get out. "Great catch James... we can now show our new look of pokemon to the boss", beams Jessie. "Dat way.... we'll be back in da boss's 'in' bin!", finishes Meowth swiping some more valuable jewelry as Georges shouts nervously about his Sandshrews being gone.

"If we can't find our way... TR will escape with the show!", shouts Misty squeamishly trying to block out the flashes. "Pikaaaaaaaaa", shouts Pikachu trying to block the flashes with its own stumpy excuses for arms or front legs. Crystal seems to be taking this flashy experience as a welcome impromptu acid trip shutting her eyes as tight as she can. As she tries to grunt but ends up sounding like she's enjoying the hallucination. She eventually gets through all the trippy things and shouts, "Saaaaanndshrew, do somethiiiiinng!!"

Sandshrew is struggling to cope with the flashes in the middle of the runway as it yelps, "Saaaaaaannn-shrew!" But Pikachu seizes the opportunity and runs out in front of him shutting his eyes tight and charging up. "Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH-CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!", screams Pikachu unleashes an amount of electric shock only equaled in hell and Microsoft headquarters. Its force is so great that it knocks out every single giant camera flash bulb. Everyone opens their eyes again thanks to Pikachu as Crystal compliments Pikachu as Sandshrew also thanks it saying happily, "Saaaashrew, shrew!"

Not pleased by this happening however, is TR who looks dismayed that their cameras are busted. "Those cameras had a power outage!", snaps Jessie. "We'd better get out of here fast or our chances of succeeding will dim out like those flash bulbs", quivers James. "RUN AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!", shouts Meowth as Wobbuffet salutes behind them mentioning, "Wooooooooooobbbuuuuuhh." And yes..... he still has that attractive looking wig on, may God bless its sexy blue soul.

Now with TR running away, again Crystal states the obvious stating that they have to go after them. James then tells TR that they have one chance to get away and then orders Qwilfish to use its poison sting from the pool its swimming in. So Qwilfish leaps out of the water and fires its spikes from its entire body at the crowd. Fortunately, Justin sends out Nidoqueen to block the stingers and Nidoqueen comes out in time and even has a chance to roar before asserting a defensive position and blocking the stingers that would have hit the twerps. And all this happening after Qwilfish has already fired its stingers.

Ah.... the wonders of television.....

"Great job, Nidoqueen!", says Justin as they then notice James scooping up Qwilfish to let the entire TR try and escape. They gasp in shock that Qwilfish's stingers were so slow that Nidoqueen was able to block them. "It didn't stop 'em!", notes Jessie with a concerned look of shock on her face. "Dat don't mean we should stoooop!", Meowth tells her. "Hmmm... sorry we can't stay and accept our prize for best in show...", starts Jessie. "But that's the life of a fashion star!", finishes James as the true fashion stars of this exhibition bolt down the hall to get to the exit door. "You three are no stars, you are fakers and crooks! And I won't let zhah leave with my Sandshrews", shouts Georges.

Also unfortunate for them, the threesome has some catchy phrases of their own.... Misty in particular who responds, "And we're gonna give you some real star treatment", which is actually PUN-ishment though it's not revealed yet. And thus, she calls upon Staryu to come out and thus ladies and gentlemen...... your intended pun. Misty has Staryu freeze the exit door shut with its ice beam so when TR tries to push the door open, they end up shmooshing against the frozen door. "We're trapped!", alerts Jessie as Meowth feeds us some more PUN-ishment quipping, "I guess our fashion show en plot is gettin' a cold reception."

Georges then idiotically tries to get his Sandshrews back as his charges his fatass at TR shouting, "Give me back my Sandshrews you fiends!" Jessie spots this and alerts the still decorated Arbok to tackle the gay Frenchy. Arbok knocks down Georges who goes flying backwards to the horror of Sandshrew who shouts, "Sanshrew shrew!", and also Georges own Sandshrews who are looking on from their cages. Misty has Staryu retaliate with a swift attack barraging Arbok with of things, stars. And thus, the parade of fashion puns continues....

Arbok absorbs the swift barrage uttering a painful sounding, "Chaaaaaaaaarrrrrrr!" Misty then has Staryu continue to assault the lovely looking Arbok with its water gun making Jessie fret and scream, "Aaaahhhh! You've smudged its good make-up!" During her rant, the camera is catching this from behind so we see a nice GAS (gratuitous ass shot) of Jessie whileMeowth and James are also squatting down. Arbok ends up crashing into Jessie as they both topple over. James takes over and has Qwilfish retaliate with its own water gun. So the puffy lipped blowfish pokemon leaps out of his little goldfish bowl and fires its water gun which deflates its body and strikes Staryu to the concern of Misty.

Justin then steps up and tells Nidoqueen to attack Qwilfish with its thunder attack. And unfortunately for Qwilfish, it has no room to avoid any attacks and gets zapped in its fish bowl along with James who's stuck holding the bowl. The shock forces James to let go of the rope that was dragging the wagon with the caged jewelry and Sandshrews in them. Georges sees this opening and frees the well dressed Armani Sandshrews and throws the sack of jewelry back towards the twerps. "Aw.... zhu guys are okay! And so are your suits.... they almost got wrinkled", notes a relieved Georges who then turns to James and yells, "How could you jeopardize such beautiful attire??!" Insulted, James hollars back, "How dare you! I'm too careful about formal dresswear to ever get it scuffed or stained.... I even reinforced the cage with hypo-allergenic plastic to keep them clean!"

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! Ain't it great when James is arguing against another gay guy about topics their both experts in?? Well.... I guess not if you're homophobic..... which in that case.... you'll have a gay or lesbian child.

But James and his crew have to deal with much bigger trouble as Crystal then has Sandshrew go to finish off TR with its tackle attack. Sandshrew lines up to strike its little noggin against the eight or so people and pokemon representing TR. But all of a sudden he hears a voice telling him, "SHREW!", so he looks to around and sees the other Sandshrews still well dressed in their Armani tuxes ready to attack TR. So they all line up side by side nodding to indicate that they're ready to attack when they end up all charging at TR. All four of them are using their tackle attacks in tandem as they nail TR's pokemon and send them flying into the rest of TR which causes a pool table reaction sending them crashing through the wall above the door and zooming into the sky. And that is how four little Sandshrews send several, much bigger bodies soaring for miles by merely tackling them.

And some wonder why Pokemon was given a low-educational value rating by the Department of Education.....

"Ohhhh... WE LOST EVERYTHING AGAIN!!! CURSE THOSE TWERPS!", shouts Jessie in a very awkward position as she's soaring through the sky. "Hey.... at least we get tah keep all uh dese trendy pokemon clothes", suggests Meowth. "Well when you put it that way....", mentions James....

"Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off in style!"......... "Wooooobbbuuuuhh"

Back at the fashion show, Pikachu celebrates a TR shellacking and Misty teases them with some more pointless shouting, "Bye bye now... don't let the fashion bug bite!"

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon?? (This pokemon can cover its skin with sperm making it highly dodgy.)

It's Wooper!!............................. "Woo-paaaaaaahh!"

Georges checks out his Sandshrew's suits while he's welcoming them back. "You guys still look good.... I don't see any problems with the suits... Thank God!", he sighs in relief. The head fashion show coordinator then thanks the threesome for eradicating TR whereas their own crumby security couldn't do nada. "Oh you're welcome...", laughs Cris-tal. "Fashion may not be our forte, but getting rid of those three is", adds Misty. "Well I hope you guys enjoyed the newest clothing and fashions...", hopes the lady boss who looks like Drew Barrymore in a serene yet professional voice. "Yeah...", agrees Justin looking at her........ happily. Read into that what you will. Misty then adds that they'll probably be wearing some of those fashions when they do come out.

How will they buy them?? Simple.... on Crystal's mysterious 'income' and Professor Oak's lavish providings from his mysterious 'income'.

Crystal then points out that it looks like Sandshrew is trying some of them out already. We see that he's wearing Pokemon Structure underwear and t-shirt as he's digging through a whole pile of unfolded clothes as he comes out with more clothing on his head saying, "Shrew saa-shrew." "Pi-pikaaa!", states Pikachu is approval of its sexy looking boyfriend as the rest of the threesome laughs. And thus..... once again the true losers in life enjoy good times and caviar wishes (whatever that means... Robin Leach, what a lardass).... but at least they look goofy enjoying everything which makes it entertaining for us common folk.

So as we see a shot of the outside of the fashion hall, the twerps will get their minds back on the Celadon City gym where everyone will be rooting for Cris-tal against perfume tycoon Erika. But before they get there, they will encounter a legendary community of pokemon high above the sky which will include a nail and cuticle-biting battle and similar high drama.