Dragonitemare presents

Pokemon Crystal series

Part 2 of a 2 part special

Ep. 42

When we last left our twerpy twerpy threesome, they were getting schooled in a secret Dragonite battle and in an actual Dragonite battle with this preppy loser named Ryan. When Ryan stupidly let out that they were connected to a secret utopia of Dragonites, the threesome begged for him to take them with him so they can help whatever's going on. So we see a Dragonite coming out of the training room in the Dragonite shaped building.... it is Justin's Dragonite, and she looks all better as she's still sporting those pink goggles around her neck. "Hey there... how you feelin'", asks Justin in slang. "Borrrrw!", replies Dragonite as Crystal tells it that they were all really worried about her as Pikachu translates her English into pokemon talk.

"See it's all better", notes Ryan alongside his Dragonite as he then goes on to ask if they're ready to head up to the community in the sky. "It seems like we are", summarizes Cris-tal as Ryan tells them that they'll go up to the flight practice area because it doubles as an airport for Dragonite travels in the sky. "Well what else are we waiting for?", says Justin as we see Misty losing her smile and having a second opinion, "Let's go help the Dragonites!" "Borrrrw!", adds disco queen Dragonite peeking into the TV screen.

<cue intro>

Up on the flight deck we see our threesome, Ryan, and all the pokemon getting ready. "Uhhhhh... How... exactly are WE going to make it up there without Dragonites? Justin's (Dragonite) can't hold all of us", wonders Misty curiously. "Oh, that's simple. I'm just going to attach this giant canvas carrier basket onto your Dragonite so that it'll fit all of you. All Dragonites have great strength so it'll be no problem for her to carry you young ladies and your pokemon", explains Ryan cordially. Ryan also quickly adds that they'll also need breathing apparatuses since the secret Dragonite grotto is high up in the thin air. So the threesome takes their oxygen masks as they all board ready for takeoff.

"Are you guys ready??", asks Ryan and Justin replies, "Absolutely!" So Ryan tells Justin to follow him to get up there as Justin and fellow Dragonite listen. "This is going to be so cool! I couldn't ever imagine when I was growing up that I'd encounter a habitat full of ultra-rare pokemon", beams Misty who seems overly excited for being sacked together with Cris-tal. Hmmmmmmm......... overly exciting indeed. "And we're ready to go so just sit back and enjoy the.............. r-IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDE!", shouts Crystal as the Dragonites take off at the last moment with super blinding speed.

"Yeeeeeaaaahhh!", shouts Justin feeling invigorated mounted on Dragonite as its soaring with its pink goggles on. I guess they're doubling as flying goggles, too.

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................................ And oh by the way, GETCHA MIND OUTTA DA GUTTAH...... uhhmm.... about the.... being mounted on Dragonite part............ YEAH!!!

She is also soaring, carrying the basket that contains a bunch of strapped in, terrified occupants. "Waaaaaa-aaaaaahhh-aaaahhh! It's going too faaaaaast", yells Crystal nervously perhaps thinking that it's actually her worst nightmare of overdosing on Ecstasy. "Saaaaaaaaashhrreeeeeeewwwww!", adds Sandshrew as we also see everyone's faces expanding due to the turbo velocity of the flight. "Don't be a wus!", shouts back Justin who's having a great time and not being exposed to the headwind as much. "Oh YEAH, WELL WHY DON'T YOU TRY FLYING IN THIS DEATH CHAIR!!", shouts back Misty angry as ever. "I don't have to..... I'm not even strapped in up here!", shouts back Justin.

"You're not?!", wonders Crystal. "Yeah.... I could just fall off anytime if I'd want to and Dragonite would go down and catch me. You wanna see what I mean?", states Justin. The sackriders down below get sweat drops thinking about Justin doing some kind of extreme sport stunt and having Dragonite whirl them around in a loop. Why, just blazing upwards without having to see the ground way down below is terrifying enough for everybody. So Misty urgently requests to him, "Uhhhh... no thanks... we understand", as Pikachu nods in fear. "We're almost there.... I can see the place from the distance. Let's go, Dragonite!", proclaims Justin as they head straight for the landing pad high above the Earth.......... or the Pokemon World in case you think its not the same planet.

Hey.... it's an understandable argument considering they let braindead ten-year olds handle super dangerous pokemon....... even though in this series, it's on Earth.

So as we see from the bottom of the screen, they arrive two minutes later in a place of floating rock structures, complete with a palace sized cave where many Dragonites possibly live. There's even a couple of fountains scattered around the place which is probably about a couple of square miles in total area. Once the threesome arrive on their Concorde Dragonite, Ryan is there to greet them. "I see you all made it in one piece... that just goes to show you how well your friend's Dragonite flies", mentions Ryan. "Yeah.... except after the fast ride, I don't feel like I'm in one piece", answers Misty still rattled from the flight as Pikachu deliriously adds, "Piiii-kuuh."

Cris-tal meanwhile is also delirious, but she looks like she's had this feeling before (many, many times) so she seemed kind of disturbingly happy. And her happiness gets bigger when they all spot a group of Dragonites as they get shown dramatically since they have to appear as if they're shining and breathtaking because they're really rare pokemon. They're playing with each other flying around and wrestling with each other for fun. "Look at the Dragonites playing!", notes Misty as Justin sees some more arriving from the surface bringing some food into where they live. We continue to view the unbelievable (somehow floating) scenery of the village.

We notice some kinda Dragonite condos that they can dwell in as well as a recreational field next to it for their sports that they do. And behind that lies a couple more apartment cave complexes floating on another island. While all this amazing scenery is being described, Ryan is giving his long-winded ecological 'don't disturb the habitat and this is why' lecture....

"This is the secret gathering and living area for Dragonites...... they call this their village. Here, they unwind, play, mate (ooooooh!), and be themselves without the outside pressure of pursuant humans after them to possess them and get rich. If you look at the fountains that are here, many Dragonites raise their baby Dratinis and Dragonairs in the pools that are around. If outside enemies were to find this place, these pokemon would most likely have to be forced to leave meaning the free population would be mostly wiped out. That's why this place must be kept secret from the rest of the world. I know I let you in on it by accident.... but it's alright because you're all expert pokemon trainers. Will you keep this secret and promise to leave these pokemon alone?", lectures Ryan. Justin replies, "Absolutely", with energy as we see many more Dragonites going about their business until a parent Dragonite halts them and summons them elsewhere making the chubby orange thingies to fly with it.

Crystal notices them flying away together in what must seem like a severe hallucination to her. Ryan then suggests that they see what they're up to and when they make it there with their Dragonites landing there first before them, they notice a few dozen Dragonite just standing and staring out into the clear dark sky. "I wonder what they're looking at", says Crystal as Ryan notes it must be the strange activity that their informant was talking about. "But what's causing this spaceoff of these Dragonites?", wonders Justin as his own Dragonite begins to space off with extra effects thanks to its goggles, "Hey.... look out there!" Justin points and the twerps all gasp as they see something in the sky............................................................ but what is it???

Is it a bird??

Is it a plane??

Is it a pair of cosmonauts scuffling in Russian while teetering on the edge of their space station?

Nope..... it turns out to be...... a red star!!! It's like that red star from the game Chrono Trigger which turned out to be Lavos which destroyed prehistoric times. Can somebody say, 'Uhhhhh ohhhhh'?

"It's something red, twinkling in the night sky", notes Crystal. "It reminds me of that prophecy I heard a long time ago by a fabled leader vowing revenge on all mankind", notes Ryan. "Prophecy?", wonders Justin. Ryan notes that it goes, "Red star...... FALL!! Stain the Earth...... RED!!" "What does that mean?", asks Crystal who's weirded out by all this RPG/anime prophecy crap. "I don't know.... I'm more concerned with what it actually is", says Justin seriously.

We will soon find out what the mysterious red star actually is.... but will we find out from our researching twerps?? Or perhaps will we find out from our own Team Rocket if they accidentally are around the area..... like that would ever happen (WARNING: Sarcasm detection meter near peak tolerance. Is ready to explode). And speaking of TR, we catch up with them sailing smoothly in the crisp, cool night sky in their happy Buddha-faced Meowth balloon. And still despite the thin air and cold winds, Jessie still has uniform short skirts..... though the super high rubber boots probably make up for the shortness of the skirt... but still, I think I should take a time out to warm her legs...............

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...................

................... Okay, I'm good! Now we get to TR talking about this rumored Dragonite hideout. "You know..... I've been thinking about finding this secret Dragonite haven. And I have to say that even if we are terribly underprepared to capture any Dragonites if we make it there, at least we can enjoy it's heaven like scenery", imagines Jessie. "I dunno.... I can't really enjoy a place until I steal sometin from it", adds Meowth. "Ohhh... but it would be so much like paradise with the comfortable living quarters..... ahhh... all the visual eye candy that you'd normally look forward to in the afterlife.... aahhhh", sighs Jessie, "I just wish I didn't fail Sunday school every single year that I attended."

I guess Jessie wasn't very religious nor was she a saint..... but then again she's the villain so that alone refutes the point.

But from religious education to religious employment, TR gets dodgier and they've had plenty of scenes that were doozies. "I ain't been tah choich in a long time.... only wit my street gang so we could eat leftovuh seafood", states Meowth and then...... another big controversial statement by James. "One time back in my teens I was pondering working for the clergy", he remarks. Say, now wouldn't James make a wonderful man of the cloth.... he could even fit right in with...uh....

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NO WAY..... I ain't goin' there!!

But Jessie quickly hushes them not wanting to think about James's possible holy calling yelling, "QUIET.......... both of you.... I'm trying to think of happy things here and you two are getting in the way." "Well even if we can't do anything when we encounter the Dragonite's village, then all we have to do is trace an aerial path", declares James. "En just HOW are we gonna do dat?", asks Meowth skeptically. "That's simple!", answers James with the gayest of glee, "If we're lucky enough to find this secret utopia, then all we have to do is come straight down from the village and we'll know exactly where to go straight up to find it. Then once we have the location, we can sell it as a secret to the boss for a lot of money. Then he'll have all the Dragonites he could ever want and we'll have all the riches we could ever want!"

"That does sound like an intriguing idea", says Jessie looking with great interest. "Yeah.... but it couldn't possibly woik cuz it came from you", notes Meowth talking to James. "How dare you... I'm not going to let you insult me like that!", snaps James with campy flair with his fist raised up ready to bitchslap the trash talking feline. "It ain't an insult... fah you, it's a compliment", adds Meowth further infuriating James. "Why are you being so insensitive, you dumbfounded feline!", states James as he proceeds to strangle Meowth.

Ahhh... the good old days of TR anime violence.

"Let go uh meeeee!", pleads a half-choked and hacking Meowth before finally swiping him in the face. James then squeals like a girl in pain covering his beautiful face as Jessie then thumps both of them on the head shouting like a coach, "Stop fighting!!! We're up here all alone with nothing to bother us....we should be relaxing, not ripping each other limb from limb!" She then demands that they enjoy the sky's serenity peacefully until they come across any Dragonites and doesn't want to hear any bs out of either of them. "Yes, Jessie", reply both sexually insecure beings as Jessie leads them in some kind of unofficial meditating as she closes her eyes and breathes in and out going, "Aaaaaaaaaahhh."

You can also try the same thing at home...... just close your eyes and imagine Jessie (or sexy character of your choice) going 'Aaaaaaaaaaahhh." It'll heal away your stresses.....

So TR is at peace again as Meowth mentions, "Ya know...... a beauteeful night like dis is real neat tah look at", as his pupils get all enormous and starry. "It's so inspiring and celestial...... especially that special big red star out there", points out a now sleepy James. We then cut to a weird camera shot of TR's happy Buddha-faced Meowth balloon as seen through something red and fiery possibly headed towards them.

......... must be a Russian attack missile that was supposed to be destroyed in their recent arms treaty with dem United States boyz.

"The star is getting bigger", notes Justin as he witnesses the red star thing growing in diameter among the other stars in the sky. "But what could it be?", wonders Misty curiously again. Ryan then tries to figure out how they can tell what exactly it might be but then Justin steps in to deal with that saying that he has his Hoothoot which can see exceptionally well and he sends it out to try and make out what it thinks the giant red star is. "HootHOOOOOOOOOT!", hoots the junior sized owl with the freaky eyes.

Justin then asks Hoothoot if it can tell what the giant red star is in the sky. So Hoothoot zooms in and stares at it slowly falling out of the sky as it then comes to a conclusion as to what it means. Now we obviously can't understand what the hoots means but it's hard not to understand the panicked expressions and loud nervous tone of Hoothoot's hooting which means it has to be something bad. It communicates with Justin's Dragonite whom gasps at the info that Hoothoot provides. Justin's Dragonite then flies off to warn all the other Dragonites with the danger that is coming which causes a commotion among the Dragonite village.

The threesome looks on in shock as Justin asks Hoothoot what it is. Hoothoot can't just tell the poor young guy so instead it demonstrates by flying up into the air. Then, it flies quickly into the ground head-first somehow avoiding a concussion and then getting up on its feet.... uhh.... err, ahem..... foot.... and hooting really loudly extending its popsicle sticks it uses as wings as if to simulate a giant explosion. Then, Hoothoot flies back up and repeats the process.

What a great partner it would make for charades.... That Hoothoot.

"What in the hell (oops, world.... yeah... world) is it doing?", wonders Cris-tal who still looks dazed. "I think Hoothoot is trying to simulate a flying projectile that is crashing towards the ground of the village", thinks Justin as Misty looks at him a little strangely like he's an alien for whatever reason. Make of it what you wanna....... "But what kind of flying projectile could it be??", wonders Misty. "There's only one thing that could fly in here that comes from the heavens....", cuts in Ryan seriously, ".... an asteroid!" "An asteroid??!!", gasps the threesome in disbelief. "Yes, and it must be pretty serious if it's attracting this much attention", states Ryan.

With that, we go back to TR to see how they're doing. Jessie then gushes over the fact that they have their balloon and that they can enjoy the clean air up there unlike those sniveling goody-goody twerps who have to walk all the time. "En da face on da balloon head is also pretty allorin'. I could look at it for hours", sighs Meowth. Notice that he said he could stare at it (probably in love and adoration) for hours though it doesn't really look like a female Meowth. "Uhhmm... Jessie? Meowth?", utters James looking wide awake and nervous.

"Stop it! I'm trying to dream about this cute guy I met the other day", snaps back Jessie getting all horny now we see. "You were meetin uddah people??", asks Meowth sounding not pleased, "While we wuz woikin?" "Of course.... You think I want to spend every waking second with you two?", snaps Jessie..... something she obviously wouldn't say if she was in love with James wouldn't you say? Jessie commands James to start meditating and in the process dream of cute guys before she gets any more irritating. Normally, this wouldn't be too hard for James but he determinedly points out to them that the red star they noticed has gotten bigger.

"So what?", sneers Jessie. "Heey... it has gotten bigguh", notices Meowth as we go back to the vision of what we now know is the asteroid with its red burning edge as we see it through the red wavering screen hurtling right at our beloved TR........... <gasp> OH NO... poor TR. "Huh?", wonders Jessie as she takes a look, "What do you think it is?" Asteroid-vision comes into focus again before we go back to James who quips that its probably a meet-tee-or which is how he pronounces it cuz it sounds more fruity. "But if it's gettin bigguh, dat means.......", reasons Meowth before his skin fades to white with fear, "... Its gonna head right fuh us."

"I think we may end up as part of the meteor's trail", snivels James. "A meteor killed the ancient pokemon, now it may kill the long era of the great Team Rocket!", shouts Jessie in fear as we see the red, burning meteor zipping and yes..... it's coming right at TR's happy Buddha-faced Meowth balloon. "'Urry, let's get outta its way bahfore we're space junk!", urges Meowth. So TR quickly tries to make the balloon go the other way away from the meteor but its just going way too fast for TR to escape it.

"It's no use.... we're gonna take a hit", panics James as the three of them look at the meteor in terrifying, paralyzing fear. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!", shout the three of them readying for the meteor's impact. And just before the now huge meteor strikes the balloon, Wobbuffet comes out of nowhere at the most wrong time as it sees the meteor and shouts, "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBUUUHHHHH", in fear.

Warning!!! Don't try to seriously understand this part unless you're a physics expert!!

And then we see the enormous meteor strike TR's balloon in slow-motion but as we see further detail, the edge of the meteor strikes the balloon head missing our beloved TR. We then see one of the hooks that is used to keep the balloon together that got ripped from the balloon head (the happy Buddha-faced Meowth part) latch on to a cranny in the meteor taking the balloon withit on its path of destruction. But why didn't TR die due to whiplash, you say? Well apparently, the balloon was going at a high enough speed going the same direction as the balloon where the force of the balloon would have less impact on the object it slammed into.

Uhhhhhhhhh..... ohhhh-kay, whatever....

So the meteor has now taken TR along with it on its path of destruction as we see the basket tailing behind it dragging J, J, M, and W as they're flying trapped in the balloon's basket soaring at a faster speed than those flying Dragonites. "Aaaaaaaaahhh... we're going to bring the meteor right down towards Earth", frets Jessie. "I knew we did lotsa stuff dat wuz evil, but I had no idea dat we'd one day be accompanyin' a meteor to da planet", adds Meowth. James then is able to utter another line of dodgy supremacy despite the dire conditions they're all in as he quips, "Now I'll never have any of those dreams I was supposed to have." "Woooooooooooooobbbuuuuuhhh wooooooooooobbbuuuuuuuuhhffet!", shouts Wobbuffet with flabby arms extended as its back is pinned to the basket due to the wind resistance caused by the velocity. Then, we see the meteor blazing towards its next helpless destination wherever Dragonite village that Dragonite village could Dragonite village be Dragonite village.

Oh... but poor James.... how could anything deny him of those beautiful dreams he was supposed to have but now he can't.... <sniff>

"Do you think that thing is going to crash into this place??", frets Misty. Ryan explains that the Dragonites know what's going to happen to this place better than any cracked out human thus they must know that the asteroid must be coming this way. "If that's the case.... then this beautiful hideaway for these pokemon will be destroyed", says Justin alertly. "Yes", agrees Ryan, "And if they don't have this sanctuary, there won't be any place left for them to go...... free Dragonites as we know it may cease to exist." Ryan then proposes that they have no choice but to evacuate all the Dragonites at once.

But Ryan made this decision without much thought and he didn't use his head for he didn't remember....... The prophecy!!! Duh-duh-DUUUUUHHHHHH! Thus, Crystal then looks up in a state of realistic shock for a change as she utters, "But if that prophecy is true? Then the asteroid is gonna go straight through this place and then it's going to..... going to hit the Earth!!!" "It'll destroy hundreds.... or even thousands", corrects Misty nervously. Crystal then wonders aloud what they can do about it and Pikachu and Sandshrew staunchly tell Crystal what must be done. Unfortunately, nobody understands pokemon talk around there except for the pokemon......... duh!

"Well then.... we're going to have to find a way to stop it. But I'm going to have to fly out there to check out this thing to see how big it is", declares Ryan. "Uhhh.... what?", gapes Justin in disbelief as Misty asks him how he's going to do that. Ryan explains that it's simple because Dragonites can fly so fast that they can even catch up with speeding comets defying the laws of physics yet again.

Uhhhhhhhhh......... ohhhh-kay, whatever!

"I guess I can believe that now!", Crystal responds to Ryan after taking that trip in Dragonite's basket while going a billion miles an hour <exaggeration>. Ryan figures that this way, he can see exactly how big this asteroid is. "Are you crazy?!", shouts Misty in revolt, "Don't you realize how dangerous that is? You might get slammed by that asteroid flying out there!", as we see some of that frustration that we originally started to love out of her back in da day. "I know it's dangerous..... but if I can check it out, we'll know exactly how big it is and what we're going up against", states Ryan.

"But it's dangerous for just one person to go out there into the stratosphere alone!", declares Crystal. So then Justin decides to take the initiative due to everything he's learned about being an elitist Dragonite gym member and steps forward to assert, "I'll go with you!!" "WHAA?!", wonders a bewildered Misty as Ryan also reacts in shock to Justin's announcement.

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon?? (This poor thing is too often referred to as pubic lice.)

It's Krabby ........................................................ "Keeeee-kooooooo."

"You want to go out there, too?", wonders Ryan, "But it's dangerous, especially for someone who isn't an expert pokemon flyer." Oh...... so now HE is suddenly an expert flyer, too..... while Justin is not! Well that's a crock of crap..... But Justin responds in desperation, "But there's no way you can possibly think it's a good idea to go out there by yourself..... what if you never return again, THEN what are we supposed to do!" Ryan then adds that they might both get smashed by the asteroid as he tries to prove he's so much smarter and better which he really isn't. But Justin quickly counters by stating that he'll keep a safe distance away from him so they're not in the same vicinity.

Okay..... looks like he's beggin' and pleadin' to be more than a helpless sidekick observant..... doing everything short of (or not short of) kissin his ass.

So Ryan finally relents and permits Justin to come with him..... not that Ryan could've stopped our male part of the threesome, though. So Justin and Ryan get set to jet out on their respective Dragonites as Cris-tal wonders whether or not they're both sure about this and Justin assures Cris-tal with an interesting grin at her that they'll be fine. Ryan just tells them before they go that if the Dragonite master (and Johto champion) Lance comes, to tell him that he's gone to check out the asteroid out in the sky. And Ryan finishes by telling them they'll only be gone for a few minutes and with that, Justin and Ryan take off on their Dragonites....... Justin's is now wearing her pink club goggles again.

We then see them flying apart from each other but basically going the same way towards the big red chunk of rock in the sky. They're also still close enough to each other to still both be schmooshed by an asteroid about a mile wide. And while they're off towards it, TR is stuck TO it as they're still coasting away just off the bottom of the meteor. "Oh well.... maybe if we're lucky, this meteor will take us to that remote Dragonite village. Wouldn't that be just dreamy?", gushes Jessie with her arms next to her face. But Meowth replies stauchly, "Yeah.... cuz we'll be dreamin' poimanently when dis ting drops us dere in A MILLION PIECES!" "Woooooooooooobbbuuuuuuuhhffet!", adds Wobbuffet still hanging in there.

"Ohhhh.... I don't want to die todaaaay", whines James sounding funny in many different ways at once. "Pipe down!!! I don't want to spend our last waking moments hearing you whine", yells Jessie. "But Jess.... it might help me calm down", replies James. "No buts!", answers Jessie though who isn't in the mood. But then they hear a voice declaring, "Oh my..... this meteor IS huge." TR huh's as it turns out to be Justin and Ryan as they approach the giant meteor and then their Dragonites catch up to it to fly along with it.

Justin shouts to Ryan wondering if this meteor is big enough to destroy the village and cause damage down below. So Ryan immediately agrees because this monstrous meteor could damage anything or more importantly.. anyone..... Down below. But then when Justin and disco queen Dragonite fly underneath the meteor, they find a startling discovery to them......... TR! "Team Rocket?!!", gasps Justin in total shock. "Huh? Oh my lord...... it's that twerp!!", shouts Jessie pointing at him. "We're saved!", elates James as Wobbuffet also expresses joy that they've found a way to be saved.

Ryan then comes around and notices our trio stuck to the hook on the meteor. Justin then snobbishly tells them that they don't deserve it but he's going to try to save them showing that he's picked up on how to be elitist very well from the gym. So then he has his Dragonite fly him to the stuck cable as Ryan warns Justin about possible chunks of debris coming off the meteor and Justin obliges. Thus, Justin flies in absorbing all the blows from the small rocks as is Dragonite while he tries to unhook TR from the meteor.

Back with the left behind females..... how rudely sexist..... we've noticed that the red star which the two guys and TR are around. Crystal hopes that the two of them haven't run into trouble since they've been gone for awhile. At this moment they hear a noise coming up from below.... so they look out to see what's coming and then another Dragonite zooms up into the village startling them. And also, riding on its back is the one.... the only.....

CHEERIOS!! (Uh..... oops. That was supposed to be for my cereal fic)

Lance! The Dragonite master and Johto League champion zips up to greet Crystal and Misty and announce his grande arrival. "Lance..... it's great to meet you again!", greets Misty who's encountered him before. "Why Misty... surprised to see you here. How did you two get up here.... and how did you get into the secret Dragonite gym?", replies Lance who's thrown off by the two young lady's presence. "Umm.... We came here with our friend who had a Dragonite as a guest of your member Ryan. Then, there was this emergency so we had to come with him up here", explains Cris-tal trying to get off after being busted.

"And who are you?", wonders Lance alongside his mammoth beast of a Dragonite. "This is my good friend, Crystal", mentions Misty, "And our friend Justin is out with Ryan scouting that meteor out there." "A meteor, huh? That's what I thought it was.... that evil prophecy couldn't lie", says Lance. "This must be a dire situation..... not just for these Dragonites, but for all life as we know it!", states Crystal. "Absolutely.... and we all must do something about it if we are to prevent a catastrophe", declares Lance.

Bad news for TR as Justin tries and tries but complains that he can't cut through the metal cable plus the hook from the balloon is too tightly stuck in the meteor to get off with the speed of the meteor adding to the resistance. "You mean to tell us we're stuck here??!!", shouts Jessie. "I'm afraid so", answers Ryan who then yells to Justin that they need to get back to the Dragonite village so they can think of another way to break up the meteor.

So the group of Dragonite fliers race back to the village at supersonic speed leaving our beloved TR behind. So much for the good guys caring to save everybody.... elitist bastards! "Oh great.... so weer left 'ere to be blown to pieces one way or dee uttah", sighs Meowth. "Those twerps better find a way to save us!!", warns Jessie aloud. And then there's a long pause with TR sitting there with all their arms folded into their chests including Wobbuffet. And then as they're sailing along at the speed of sound, James finally mutters, "We're done for." "Uh huh" agrees everyone else in unison.

Justin and Ryan return back on their Dragonites and Lance approaches Ryan to ask him how the meteor looks out there. "Oh.... uhhh... Lance, you're here. I'm sorry that I had to bring these other three here but I didn't have much of a choice", tries to explain Ryan to his boss. But Lance lets him off the hook like a goody goody follower answering, "Don't blame yourself.... I kinda know these guys. They're very trustworthy.... you don't have anything to worry about." He then turns to Justin asking him if it is who Lance thinks he is.

"Hey.... so you're Lance. Maybe you can help us figure out how to evacuate all these pokemon out of here", suggests Justin. "We can't do that, Justin. Think of all the lives that are at risk down there", says Misty. "Besides, these Dragonites would have left by now if they felt that meteor coming down on them", adds Lance. "Well that meteor is definitely big enough to destroy this whole place. How are we going to get these pokemon to do something about it?", wonders Justin. That's when Lance tells everyone that he's got.................a gun! NO.... actually, he has an idea.

"Listen up, everyone", yells Lance out to the Dragonites flying about, "Everyone get to edge where the red star is", as he points out to the ominous red thing in the sky. And then all the Dragonites get together in a crowd at the edge of their village as they stare out towards the glaring red meteor. "I can't believe how well Lance can communicate with the Dragonites", declares Misty. Crystal stares at the scene funny for a moment and then resumes being a smart intelligent pokemon trainer saying, "I guess that since he's so in tune with his Dragonites, the others must understand what Lance is trying to say."

"What are they going to do?", wonders Ryan. Lance explains to him that he wants them to use their hyper beams when the meteor is close enough to destroy it. So Ryan responds by asking him what if some of the Dragonites don't know hyper beam. Lance responds that he'll inform those that don't know hyper beam to retreat and seek shelter for the moment. And thus, Lance magically communicates with the Dragonites as Justin and Ryan tell their hyper beam equipped scaly things to get in there and help as well.

And why can Lance communicate with pokemon that don't talk.............. cuz he's THAT DAMN GOOD!

Crystal then points out to them that they're all too bunched together and that they need an unobstructed view of the meteor if they're going to hit it. "Good point", notes Lance as he instructs all the Dragonites that haven't taken shelter yet to fly up so they're not in a fellow Dragonite's way with their attacks. So they all elevate a little bit to separate themselves from the crowd as Ryan looks up and shouts at everyone to hurry since the meteor will arrive any moment now.

So the twerps retreat from the army of Dragonites in the sky back towards a spot they think will be safer. Except the meteor is going to knock out the entire freaking sky community...... uhduh??!!! "Well..... this is it. I hope this works", hopes Misty folding her hands and praying to some non-denominational God. "Pikaaa", sighs Pikachu as Sandshrew puts its paw around Pikachu in comfort. Looking out from the meteor, TR sees a mysterious thing floating in the sky a few miles away from them as they're still stuck to the meteor. The front of the place seems to them to be guarded with an army of orange creatures.

"Say guys..... what do you think that could be?", wonders James with Wobbuffet saluting behind them while being shmooshed by them. "Do ya really tink it could be that mystical community uh Dragonites?!", asks Meowth. They then continue to careen helplessly into the awaiting village of ugly, scaly, somewhat legendary dragon pokemon.

Justin wonders when the Dragonites should start attacking the meteor and Lance takes on the role of astronomy expert and responds that they should attack when the meteor is close enough. So they continue to wait.... and wait and we to dramatic views and expressions of a determined Crystal, an anxious Misty with Pikachu and Sandshrew, expressionless Justin, falling meteor, waiting Lance, falling meteor again and then................................... THEN.......................... Lance instructs the Dragonites to use their hyper beams which will either blow the village threatening meteor to pieces or it'll fail consuming the threesome, Lance, Ryan, and the entire Dragonite village into nothingness.

And then it'll go on to stain the Earth red just like in the prophecy......................... Oh God........ I don't want to watch.... um, I mean write.... um, I mean read...... too nervous.

So the Dragonites of the village charge up their ultra-powerful hyper beam while Justin's Dragonite (in the pink goggles) doesn't fit in so Justin has to yell at it to use its own hyper beam. And then in unison, they fire their hyper beams out towards the red star which hits it dead on just about a couple seconds before it slams into the burning space junk. We see a couple of Dragonites (probably Ryan's and Lance's) using all their strength and aim to hit the meteor with the hyper beam. And then, Justin's trendy Dragonite adds its own attack to the mass effort.

And oh by the way..... it's putting on one hell of a light show for those suckers down on Earth who don't even know that a rundown version of Armageddon is happening above them really high up in the clouds.

With all that power on the meteor, it does in fact blow apart saving the village and the planet from a fate worse that either the black death or a Barbara Streisand TV special. And let's not forget about TR who also was saved by the heroics of their adversaries. We see them finally free from the meteor but now the force of meteor explosion has sent them sailing away in the other direction. "We're saved!", yells James in jubilation. "But how?", wonders Meowth. "I saw a massive laser of energy hit the meteor just before it exploded", explains Jessie who then suddenly acts like she was knocked silly, "It must've come from that unexplored floating land in the sky. Uuuuuhhhhgggh."

"We're blasting off agaaaaaaaaaaaiiin!" "Wooooooooobbbuuuhh."

"It collapsed!", beams Misty as Crystal celebrates that the Dragonite village has been saved as Sandshrew yells out happily alongside Pikachu and Justin who are also smiling. All of the Dragonite are patting themselves on the back all beckoning "Boooorrrrrrwww!" "Don't celebrate, yet!", warns Lance urgently. Crystal asks why and Lance explains that the chunks of rock left over from the meteor are still going to hit the village. "What do we do?", wonders Cris-tal. "There's no time! We all have to seek shelter now!", states Ryan.

All the Dragonite then zoom off to their shelters on the different parts of the floating islands as the twerps hotfoot it to somewhere they can go to avoid getting flattened by flying space debris. "Where's my Dragonite?", wonders Justin nervously and then Misty tells him that they can't worry about that now and that they must hightail it. "They're coming down!!", shouts Ryan after they run away a little more. Lance points out a small cave that's used as one of the Dragonite's facilities and they all hustle in there.

When they get in there, all they see is a small room with some junk left over in it. "This must be some kind of closet area", comments Lance who then refocuses to yell out, "Brace yourselves." The first mini-meteor slams down to create an explosion of rock and dust into the air causing the twerps to be rattled around like those little plastic things in a baby rattle. Everyone shouts, "Aaaaaaaaahhh!", and keeps shouting as more mini-meteors crash down into the Dragonite's sky hideaway.

And as the village is taking a pounding, the threesome and their pokemon get tossed around creating some very interesting pile positions..... including Misty on Cris-tal's lap. That must feel good to her..... Then we see another provocative result between Cris-tal and Justin with Sandshrew on top of them as they end up laying on Lance. And by far the dodgiest position, Justin's head actually ends up on Misty's crotch with Pikachu's fatass parked on Justin's buttcheeks and no.... this was actually not edited out or exaggerated just to add fake dodginess.

After the last meteor impacts the site, Lance gives everyone the okay to get out and they all struggle through the broken construction work, statues, and tapestries with only a few bruises. But when they come out of their shelter, they find to their horror that the entire sky hideaway is on fire caused by the meteor shower. "The whole place is burning up!", yells Ryan. Misty wonders aloud looking for all the Dragonites and Crystal adds that if they don't put out the massive fire, then the whole place will burn away. "Pika-piiii", sighs Pikachu anxiously with Sandshrew by its side as always.

And then in a scene wreaking of glorious returning (what the hell?), back comes a bunch of Dragonites flying up from below the village and other denizens (fancy word for residents) from out of their shelters. Then some of them fire their water guns and their hydro pumps. Ryan and Lance then spot their Dragonites and are thankful they're alright as we see them helping to put out the fire. "They're putting out the fire... I can't believe it", exclaims Justin as Misdreavus finally pops out to woo Justin again to which he responds with a chuckle, "Nor can I believe you", before he calls back Misdreavus into his pokeball.

Crystal though seems hell bent on avoiding becoming a useless female witness to this episode..... she's the lead dammit so she's gonna help. Thus, she throws out Totodile who comes out hopping and dancing more insanely due to the thin air as he begins to use its insanely powerful water gun to help out legitimately. Misty doesn't want to be the odd one out so she spins around in her aqua blue wardrobe (which looks really fashionable by the way) and sends out Staryu who also assists in putting out the blaze.

Moments later the fire dies out and Lance is encouraged by the great progressed already made to put out the fire. Oh geez Lance, I hope so being that they're just about..... legendary freaking pokemon! But Justin is still out there looking out in concern as Ryan asks him if there's a problem. "I haven't seen my Dragonite return, yet", says Justin. "You don't think that Dragonite might have...... I don't even want to say it", responds Crystal who pauses in concern.

So Justin looks out for his fashion violating, sleek version Dragonite along with the other twerps until...... in a moment of superhero savvy and ability to survive, Dragonite escapes from one of the cave dwellings with goggles equipped to surface at the delight of Justin who shouts, "Alright! You made it, Dragonite!", as Cris-tal adds in hallucinogenic awe, "Dragonite, you're an awesome pokemon." She lands next to Justin so he can befriend her as the other twerps gather around in the heartwarming part of the show.

Well.... I guess we couldn't see that coming now, eh?

Totodile hops around to celebrate the reunion since it loves that kind of stuff while Staryu behind him..... well.... we can't tell since it has no face so..... let's assume that it's standing there and sucking. "Well, my simple tour turned out to be a life saving adventure for all of us", comments Ryan, "You really have a knack for knowing how to cope with such adventures...." And in the understatement of the year, Misty replies to him that, "Well..... we've been on a few before. Haven't we, guys?", turning to Sandshrew and Pikachu. "Pikachu", responds Pikachu in sarcasm and agreeance. "In any event.... thank you once again for all your assistance when it was needed", adds Lance who then tells Justin as it pets his Dragonite, "And Justin..... if you keep training your Dragonite and develop its skills and persona, you may just have a membership spot in our gym real soon."

That's it?? He MAY??? Newsflash you elitist morons...... he and his girlfriends helped you save the Dragonite village which helped the reason for your Dragonite gym's entire existence!!! So get those sticks out of your asses and make not only him a member, but Cris-tal and Misty members too even though they don't have a Dragonite. Besides.... there are exceptions in laws everywhere and they're pointed out thanks to lawyers for the rich and powerful who help them protect what they don't deserve. So there...... Argue against that, bi-aattch!!

Please?

But Justin's a better sport than that (well..... sometimes....) and he graciously thanks them while we see Crystal, Sandshrew, and Pikachu all look graciously stoned together.

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon?? (Despite two possible heads.... this pokemon is still ugly and still stupid.)

It's Girafarig!! ............................................... "Brrrriiinnngg!"

Thanks to the commercial break, we can whirl magically back down towards Celadon City back towards the non-hallucinogenic sky worlds that incite two part mini-series. In front of the Dragonite building, Ryan, Lance, and their Dragonites are saying good-bye to the threesome, Sandshrew, Pikachu, and their Dragonite who still hasn't taken off her damn sunglasses. Justin thanks them on behalf of everyone for the journey that let them see the hidden world of one of the rarest pokemon in the world.

Lance responds that it's always new and adventurous every time he journeys up there and then the both of them wish Crystal good luck in the Kanto League. "Oh yeah.... that's right. I forgot.... how do we get to the gym from here?", worries Crystal. Ryan tells her that it's down the road about a mile and to the right. Finally, Lance goes up to Justin's Dragonite and tells it to take care as well with Ryan adding it was fun battling against it (I'd like to see him say that if he lost....). "Borrrrrrwwwww", cry out their two Dragonites as if to say 'call us for a good time' as our Dragonite responds like lots of women that are being flirted with........ she roars back as if to say 'yeah sure' and then two weeks later they'll forget all about that meteor and everything.

And so comes the good-bye scene with the waving and the walking away and the disturbingly unmoving smiles. And now hopefully, we can do away with any more pointless adventures and now Cris-tal may challenge the gym leader and win another badge.

Author's note: HEY!!! It takes a lot of creativity to come up with all these neat and interesting adventures. These journeys can't just be one gym to another..... and if you don't appreciate these stories (even ones like these that don't make any sense whatsoever), then F*CK YOU!!!

Now let's smile one last time with TR as we see them waking up from a nap the next morning. "Aaaaaaaahhh..... dat was a good cat nap", puns Meowth. Jessie yawns and then tells them, "Say... I just had this magical dream." "Really? What about?", wonders a dreary James. "Well... we were all cruising magically on this meteor heading for a paradise filled with rare Dragonites. We were about to arrive there when all of a sudden.... something flashed.... and then I woke up here", explains Jessie calmly. "Hey.... I also had a very similar dream", responds James.

Then Meowth then tells them that it'd be nice to have landed on the Dragonite retreat and catch all the Dragonites they could to help them build an indestructible army. "Wooooooooooobbbuuuuuhhhhffet!", replies Wobbuffet saluting and standing behind them though they don't seem to take notice or care. James then adds that at least if they couldn't build themselves a Dragonite army, then they could at least sell its secrets to get rich and live comfortably. "Ahhhh", sighs Jessie, "I'd love to go back to that magical place in the sky and be with all the Dragonites...... I just wish the place really existed." "Woooooooooobb", summarizes Wobbuffet affirmatively.

"Say, I'm still tiyud.... why don't we go back tah sleep fuh awhile?", wishes Meowth as we zoom out on them to see them in the usual position of hanging from branches high on a tree. "Sure... I could use a few more pleasant dreams", yawns Jessie and so they all go to doze off pretty happily despite the terror they recently encountered....... in what they think was their dreams.