Dragonitemare presents

Pokemon Crystal series

Ep. 53

We see that the digital futuristic map is back for the start of this latest charade of an adventure. It shows us that the twerps are speeding towards New York City... and today they stopped in a place where the legend known as Houndoom is or was allegedly prowling the Internet and stuff. A place where beautiful scenery intertwines with cracked out gangsta. An intertwining that will today be even more intertwined by the twerps and more amusingly and attention grabbing Team Rocket..... a magical place known only as..............

.......... Baltimore, Maryland.

You was expecting south central??? Wait till Friday After Next!

So we see the twerps admiring all the commerce taking place while somehow, the harbor looks as pretty as a dressed up Team Rocket female. Justin explains to the scene watching young ladies that this is Baltimore's famous inner harbor that is home to tourist sites, a (American) football stadium, a baseball field, and the pokemon aquarium they right next to. The magic 'a' word gets Misty's attention as she asks Justin.........

................

................GETCHA MIND OUTTA DA GUTTA!!!

... as she tells Justin that it sounds like the aquarium is a must see place. "Well..... it sounds like it's right up your alley soooo... come on everybody", encourages Justin. "I bet it'll be extra cool if they were to have a special event today", figures Cris-tal as we notice her bloodshot eyes as she walks around carrying Pikachu on her back as the seemingly more refresed than usual Sandshrew walks beside her. Fess up, Cris.... we know whatcha did this mornin!

And conveniently, just as Cris was mentioning it, a woman with a megaphone is encouraging possible contestants to hurry and sign up for Citywide Inner Harbor Water Pokemon hunt since there's only 45 minutes left to sign up. Basically, it means you eat a couple Ho-hos, fart them out of your system, then take a trip to the nearby Hooters to order a full plate of hot wings, finish them, and then come back to sign up for the 'hunt'. That's really not much time..... The rules?? Simple as the woman explains..... the younger looking Hillary Clinton announces that each pokemon trainer or group uses two water pokemon to try and catch the best water pokemon that's swimming around within the city's inner harbor. Each trainer or team can only keep one water pokemon and no other types of pokemon are allowed to be used. Finally, the competition lasts one hour and is hosted by the Baltimore Inner Harbor Pokemon Aquarium.

So having that said, Crystal is pondering over whether they should enter into it or not reasoning, "It would be a great chance to improve my skills as a trainer." "Hello there, young man. You appear to be a very accomplished pokemon trainer, are you and your friends entering the water pokemon competition", asks the Hillary impersonator as Justin's suddenly standing next to her.... Justin a stalker??? uh boy... "Well", shrewdly mutters Justin, "I don't know whether..." But Justin is abruptly cut off by a possessed Misty who tramples right over him to tell the woman, "Water pokemon competition?? I'm in! I'm in! I'm in! ..... and I'm gonna win!" She's ecstatically staring at the woman's chest area, but then again, she's on such a trip after hearing the words 'water pokemon competition' that she'd fall for the real Hillary Clinton if it was her.

Recognizing this pattern of behavior right away, Crystal just quips in awe of the quirky redhead, "Well, she's certainly ready. What about you, Justin?" Pikachu and Sandshrew just look silenced at the dodginess as Justin can only mutter, "Uyuyeeohhhhiiiiii...", as he lays conked out momentarily on the ground.

<cue intro>

"You certainly seem enthusiastic about this, young lady", says the Hillary impersonator to Misty. "Well a competition like this is something I've been craving for for a long time", answers Misty who seems like the competition must've died down among the threesome. "Misty's a huge water pokemon fan", explains Cris-tal. "Oh... then you should feel right at home, Misty", says the woman as she then asks her what two water pokemon she'll use. "I have a perfect team to bring forth victory here today.... Seadra, Corsola.... come on out!", she yells as Seadra and Corsola come out into the water. "Corsolaaa", and , "Doo doooo", cry the two potty mouth water pokeys respectively.

The woman compliments Misty about her pokemon as she gets thanked in return by the redheaded free spirit. The false Hillary then turns towards Cris-tal and Justin and asks them if they're going to enter the competition, too. "Well, it's not that we don't want to, but I only have one water pokemon on me, and that's Kabutops", Justin tells her as he lets out Kabutops. "Kabu!", cries Kabutops briefly as Crystal then tells the woman that she normally has Totodile but she currently doesn't have him since he's dancing around with Old Man Oak.

"Oh... well that's too bad cuz if you had one other water pokemon, you two could perhaps become a team", remarks the still unidentified woman. Let's call her minor character number........ eh.... she's really boring and charmless so let's say 917. "A team?", wonders Justin of course ignoring the rules. "Yeah, they said you could have individual trainers enter or enter as a team", Cris-tal informs him as Justin goes, "Oh." "Hey wait guys, I know", proposes Misty as she tells them that they can borrow Staryu. So Staryu comes out and in all its glory cries, "HYAA!" So now Justin and Cris-tal have their own personal team.

"Staryu? You think I can handle Staryu?", asks Crystal. Misty assuredly replies, "Don't worry... my Staryu is masterfully trained. I'll make sure it obeys the two of you." "Ohh... so you actually found a pokemon master to train it, Misty", kids Justin as Misty just snickers back. "Okay... nice to have ya, Staryu!", Cris-tal says extending her welcome as Pikachu and Sandshrew welcome it, too. "HYA!!", cries Staryu once again.

We then see another trio walking in front of an inner harbor shopping center. It even has the Baltimore area Hooters (at least that's what it looks like though 4Kids probably jumbled the letters on purpose). This trio doesn't seem to be interested in the fine dining establishment they are passing. What possible living breathing excuse could justify this?? Why simple, this certain trio is Team Rocket, of course. And they are milling around the inner harbor just like the twerps are, looking for something to do or steal.

"I need something to do or steal...", demands Jessie on cue. "Don't worry, Jessie. Hopefully we'll find some big pointless activity around this place involving pokemon. And something tells me we're going to get in on it whether we want to or not", quips James. "De're so many people and pokemon millin' around here dat sometins gotta be up", states Meowth. They the hear about the water pokemon contest that the threesome has just entered over the harbor dock's PA announcer. "So dat's why de're so many water pokemon around 'ere", figures Meowth.

"Ey look", points out Meowth spotting the twerps near the edge of the dock. "<gasp> It's the twerps!", gasp Jessie and James. "En it looks like dey're enterin' dat watuh pokemon hunt", adds Meowth. "Well that settles it..", snaps Jessie as James wonders, "Settles what?" "We're going to enter the water pokemon contest, too!", decrees Jessie. "We are?", wonders James getting startled by her plan. "We're going to enter it so we can follow around the twerps. Then once their guard is down, we'll come away with their precious Sandshrew and just as precious Pikachu. And while we're on their trail, we can swipe other trainer's water pokemon while fishing for our own contest entries to try and win. I'm sure the prize will be considerably valuable", explains Jessie.

"I'm not sure about this, Jessie", cowers James becoming a scaredy cat. "Yeah, we bettuh find out what dat prize is buhfore we decide tah entuh dis ting!", adds Meowth. "Fine, I'll ask", says Jessie as they approach the check-in booth and MC 917. "Hello there, are you here to enter the Baltimore Water Pokemon Hunt", asks 9-1-7.

"Yes, we're here to win and give contenders trouble"
"We're both joining in so our strength is doubled"
"To protect the world from devastation"
"To unite all peoples within our nation"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love"
"To extend our reach to the stars above"
"Jessie"
"James"
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight"
"Meeeeeowth, that's right!", punctuates Meowth.

"We're entering this nice little hunt because we're the best team!", claims Jessie. "En we know it cuz we even got da woid 'team' in our name!", explains Meowth. "Okay.... you three seem like you're really eager to get into this", says the Hillary impersonator. "Oh yesss", answers James sounding very scheming as he chuckles softly. "By the way, what is the prize for winning this prestigious contest, may I ask?", wonders Jessie with elegance. The woman points them to a trophy that looks kind of like the Ryder Cup in golf explaining that the winner gets it. "Jessie, that thing doesn't look like a million bucks", James tells her. Ms. 9-1-7 tells TR that some people value it like it is a million bucks. "Well that settles it, we're in", states Jessie. "But why? Dat prize ain't woith nuthin'", asks Meowth. Jessie tells Meowth in an aside, "Hey, if there are people that pay a million bucks for this, it's worth it!"

"I'll just need to know which two water pokemon you'll be using for today's hunt", asks the woman. "Certainly", states James increasing the campness in his voice, "Alright Qwilfish... time to come out!" And Qwilfish comes out floundering at James's girlish legs. James praises his only water pokemon as he goes to hold it over his head. "Ahh, you look even healthier than usual todaayy... EEEEEEE!.... Ooh! Ow! Ooh! Ow!", hurts James dropping Qwilfish into the water. So then Jessie throws out Arbok to enter it into the competition. "Chaaaaaarbokaaa!", cries Arbok as it swims around in the water. "You're all ready to compete, aren't you?", asks Jessie.

"Uhhhh, I'm sorry, miss!", interrupts the woman. "Huh?" huh's Jessie. "I'm afraid your Arbok is not qualified to be in this competition", she tells TR. "Why not?!", shouts Jessie madly. "Easy Jessie", panics James as 9-1-7 explains that the competition is open only to water pokemon only and Arbok isn't a water pokemon. Still, Jessie tries to reason with the woman....... uhh... her way. "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??!! Arbok swims better than 3/4 of the seabags that are in this stupid harbor contest", she yells as we then cut to a juvenile cutey image of Arbok swimming happily like a fish in the water, "Arbok was made to grace the water..... it glides around the sea like an elegant catamaran bouncing perfectly off the waves!" "Aaaah", aaah's Jessie suddenly very relaxed with her eyes closed as necessary with flashback scene protocol.

"I don't care if it can swim as fast as my jetski, it's not allowed in the competition!", the woman tells TR again as she goes on to tell them that they have to come up with another water pokemon before the competition starts or they're out of luck. "Oh great... now what do we do?", fears James. "Grrrrrrr", grrr's Jessie as she then grumbles, "Fortunately, I have an alternative solution."

And what kind of solution could an enraged, bossy redhead come up with?? Exactly..... for a subordinate to degrade themselves for the good of the mission. Thankfully for TR, they have just blob who won't care what kind of humiliation Jessie may put it through as it just displays patient happiness no matter what happens, be it an ice cream giveaway, or a satanic apocalypse.

And there it is, Wobbuffet's painly pleased mug sticking out of some kind of blue costume. TR is back up to the woman contest coordinator as she asks them if they have a second water pokemon. "Why yes, we certain do!", smiles Jessie as James brings out Qwilfish again as James proceeds to pick it up again pricking his delicate manicured hands again accidentally tossing Qwilfish into the water again. "Qwilfish", it sighs as it dives back into the harbor.

"Well.... here's our second water pokemon. Lanturn", proclaims Jessie as TR reveals Wobbuffet inside the somewhat mechanical looking Lanturn costume making 9-1-7 do a double take. "Isn't it just the most marine looking water pokemon around?", advertises James. "Wooooobbuu...", starts Wobbuh-lanturn before Jessie hushes it up. "That looks like a pretty strange Lanturn.... but I guess it's alright for here. Okay, you're in... you'll be in boat #46, better get there soon. The hunt begins in less than 10 minutes", announces the suspicious lady. "Thank you!", replies TR.

"Well... It's time for Team Rocket to hit the water waves and start up a Baltimore chop sized crime wave!", declares Jessie, "So let's get started.... in the water you goooo!" Jessie finishes singing as she picks up Wobbuffet and throws it over the edge making the fake Lanturn cry, "Wooooooobbbuuuuhh!", until splashdown. It lands into the harbor next to Qwilfish as James then figures something out.

"Uhhh.... Jess?", asks James. "Now what? You know, the more questions you ask, the more our plot gets screwed up", Jessie says. "I just taught our plans wuz just screwed up in general", comments Meowth inanely. "If Wobbuffet's lying on its belly side in that ridiculous costume and it can't use its wobbly arms to swim... THEN IT'S PROBABLY DROWNING IN DA WATER AS WE SPEAK!", yells James dramatically. "Calm down, Jimmy. Dat Lantun suit dat our wobble little companion is wearin can float and kin dive undawatuh wit a microchip powuhed mini-motuh in its tail so dere's nuttin tuh worry about", explains Meowth easily getting through the motor in the tail part. Something Meowth might know a thing or two about.... "Ok... well now that that has been explained to me, let's board our boat and crank our plan into high gear", says James as they then get on their boat.

As the kickoff to the event nears and everyone's into their boats, Misty's team and Justin and Crystal's team are planning and getting ready. Crystal's getting used to Staryu and trying to command it. She has it swim from one side of the boat to the other. "Hya", cries Staryu as it pops up on the other side. Crystal laughs and says, "Not bad, Staryu, we're getting along very well." "I can't believe you're already working with Staryu so well... but then again, you did work with a lot of pokemon as a hospital volunteer", says Justin. "I do get used to a lot of pokemon that way, right Sandshrew?", Cris-tal asks her partner. "Shrew!", replies Sandshrew as he sits with his bitch Pikachu in front of the windshield.

And while Misty is training her pokemon and telling them that no one can beat the two of them as a team, another girl asks her if this is her first time in the contest since she's never seen her before. "Why yes", replies Misty who's boat is to the left of the other twerps as she's speaking to the woman to her left. This young lady who looks like Jenny Garth with a ponytail (only less skanky) introduces herself as Mara. "My name's Misty", Misty replies as Mara compliments her and stuff. "We're getting ready to win. You see, I'm really into training, studying, and caring for water pokemon that I'd figure that I'd do pretty well in a water pokemon contest like this", boasts Misty being careful not to offend Mara.

"I agree... you should do very well today. But I have a feeling that I'm going to go out there to win this myself", Mara tells her leaning over her boat revealing her substantial bosom size adding a very nice touch of dodge. "Really?", chuckles Misty, "What makes you so confident?" "I guess no one's told you.... I'm the two time defending champion in this contest", Mara brags. "Really?", gapes Misty as Corsola gapes, "Corsola!", likewise. "You must be really experienced to have success like that.... perhaps even more interest and expertise than me", Misty assumes in somewhat disbelief.

Like a real winner wastes her time chasing after crackheads of poke-destiny and their goofy yet horny companions....

"Well I do have a real interest in water pokemon, Misty. But right now, I'd like to reveal to you why I'm going to win this year's hunt and three-peat. And here they are..", Mara announces as she throws out her water pokemon team consisting of two Wartortles. (This is an inside gag...) Time to break out the napkins!!! (End gag.) "Allow me to introduce Shelly and Drew, my Wartortles", introduces Mara. "Wartortle!", says the one on the right as they take a few practice laps. "Whoa my God!", freaks Misty at their speed and quickness as does Seadra.

"I can't believe how fast those Wartortles are...", slurs Cris-tal who probably thinks she's back to trippin' again. "Me neither.... it's going to be very tough for anyone, even Misty, to overcome that", adds Justin. So then the PA goes on welcoming all the participants in the Baltimore Inner Harbor water pokemon hunt. As the announcer is explaining the rules from the announcer's gazebo, we see a newspaper vending machine with an eyepopping headline that can be legible to the trained eye. It reads....

Hideous Star Trek Racist Gets Shot Dead by DC Cops

............... exactly what DC needs one less of.....

But anyway, the announcer wishes everyone good luck as more cheers rain down on the scene. "Well win or lose, I hope you do well, Misty", wishes Mara secretly wanting her to choke like the early 90's Buffalo Bills or ..... or... A choking... uh.... Dick Cheney....... yeah! "You too!", wishes Misty as Crystal also wishes them luck. "Good luck, Misty! And Mara, if you're interested in a date with me, I'll give you my cell # when we're done", yells Justin working his playa game on. "I think you should pick a better time to SELL yourself", retorts Misty. "Pika", adds Pikachu as the announcer tells everyone to get ready. And then for a first in an unprecedented act of violence in Pokemon.... he fires a GUN!!

.......... he fires it.... in the air.... to signify the beginning of the hunt. But who knows, the bullet may land with twice as much velocity hitting some pokebrat around Baltimore and causing a massive lawsuit. Hey.... it leaves a couple of possibilities that 4Kids doesn't want and that's why this is worth mentioning.

So our four teams worthy of mention, Mara, Misty, Justin/Crystal, and of course TR, set off into the vast harbor looking for prize-winning pokemon. Of course, the dozens of other participants are also off into the harbor as well. "Now... how are we goin to figure out where to go?", figures Crystal as Pikachu and Sandshrew are cruising and sippin Bahama Mamas on the boat. "I'll figure this one out..... alright Kabutops!", declares Justin as Kabutops cries, "Kabutops!" He then orders Kabutops to dive down and try to find where all the water pokemon are hiding. So Kabutops dives down and Crystal then suggests that Staryu follow suit. "Hya", retorts Staryu plunging into the water.

As with Mara, she has her group steering towards the shallow beds of water near the edge. She then reveals another side to her character as she motivates her Wartortle shouting, "Okay, you guys we're moving towards the edge where a lot of land based water pokemon like to hide. You gotta remember not to let them escape out of the water, understand?!!" "Wartortle!", obliges the two Wartortles. So it's like that, huh. The insane, corrupt, overdisciplining coach must be what's behind these so-called victories. Thus, Mara's just made herself the pokemon trainer's equivalent of a psychotic coach.

She then orders her Wartortles enthusiastically to root out whatever's in there. And it doesn't take long until a poor, innocent Shellder crosses the path of the wrong bitch. "It's a Shellder! Shelly..... tackle it noooooww!!!", orders the fiery Mara as Shelly uses unexpected quickness to tackle Shellder as Drew then uses his water gun to slam Shellder against a rock. Then Mara uses the contest supplied park ball and, bada-bing bada-boom, she's caught a Shellder. "Good job", she says to her troops, "But we still need to move on to find tougher pokemon if we want to win." "Wartortle", says Drew as they swim around in front of the boat of their unusually strict master.

"Alright guys, judging from the current pattern in this water, I figure that we may find something here that produces a winner. But we can't waste too much time because our competition (referring to Mara most likely) is already at work, no doubt", Misty informs her team. She's looking to impress the busty water pokemon guest of the show today, judging from her behavior patterns. She then announces that she'll just throw in a little fish food bait into the water to get a pokemon to come out.

And wouldn't cha know it, soon something begins to bubble to the surface. But how big could it be if it's just a small bubbling area??? More than Misty could ever expect or handle as you'll soon see. "Ah.... here comes something now. I wonder if it's a Magikarp... or a Remoraid?", wonders Misty. Corsola and Seadra prepare for ass-kicking as the bubbles suddenly increase in size and number as out of the harbor erupts................. a Gyarados!! This gets the attention of a lot of contenders around them in their boats..... most of which back off while other dumbfounded bystanders just stare.

Gyarados rises up to devour the few slivers of fish food but when all it sees is a spunky young lady in her motorboat with her pokemon next to it, it sees a trap and gets enraged. "AAHHH...... It's a Gyarados!", gasps Misty. "Corsola!", gasps Corsola as Gyarados goes to punish Misty and co. with its hydro pump. Misty has Corsola use its mirror coat to quickly to counter the gush of water turning it back. But Gyarados dives into the water to avoid Corsola's counter. "Hurry Seadra, use your smokescreen underwater!", commands Misty as Seadra cries, "Doo dooo." The smoke blankets the water around Misty's boat as Gyarados is swimming around.

"Get ready you guys", states Misty as Corsola and Seadra prepare themselves. But suddenly, Gyarados emerges through the mucky water (not Mukky water) right next to the boat as the force of the waves it creates sends Corsola flying. "Corsola!", cries Misty as Gyarados then zeroes in on Team Misty ready to do some damage. Misty notices an orb of energy that it's charging up and getting ready to fire making the dramatic music build. "Oh no..... hyper beam!!! Look ooouut!", shouts Misty. "Doo dooooo", also shouts Seadra who may be about to be turned into doo doo.

Ha ha.... get it??

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon?? (This pokemon been known to poison its victims of sexual assault.)

It's Muk!! ............................................................ "Muuuuuuuuuk!"

"Look oooouut!", gasps Misty as she, Seadra, and Corsola look up at Gyarados ready to fire his hyper beam. ...... until Shelly, the Wartortle, uses her skull bash. "AHH", gasps Misty as Mara shouts for Drew to use its bubble attack. The bubble attack pelts Gyarados as the Wartortle dream team displays its napkin power (again.... inside gag). "That's awesome", says Misty in awe. Gyarados then tries to smack Shelly away from behind with its tail. So Mara has Shelly use withdraw and while everyone is scared when Shelly gets whacked by Gyarados, she didn't take much damage cuz she was protected. "All right... Shelly's fine!", states Misty gleefully.

Then Mara yells for more punishment out of the two of them calling for them to use their water guns in tandem. Thus, Gyarados splashes to the surface getting Misty wet as Mara then unleashes another park ball to catch the Gyarados thus catching her second water pokemon of the contest already. "Got it", confirms Mara as she then sees Misty and goes to check if the lesser experienced, inferior competitor is okay. Mara asks her if she's okay and Misty says she's fine. Mara can't believe that she was able to find a Gyarados and Misty admits that it must've been a freak occurrence. Mara then apologizes for catching the Gyarados but she was in the heat of competition from fighting off the monstrous fishy that she just subconsciously caught it.

Yeah..... like the bitch really means it.

"Don't worry, Mara. I'm not done by a long shot. I was a Whirl Cup quarterfinalist and a Cerulean City gym leader, it's going to take a lot more than a sneaky Gyarados to keep me down. I came here to prove my toughness and excellence in handling water pokemon and I vow to do that!", proclaims Misty getting back that competitive spirit that's been hiding for awhile. Good for her... and her character! Psyduck then decides to make its glorious appearance to punctuate Misty's statement. Joy! "Psy.... duck", quacks Psyduck as Misty stutters, "Umm... I'm.. afraid I already have my team set, Psyduck. You could stay onboard for moral support." "Psy-duck", Psyduck okays Misty.

"That certainly is.... a unique Psyduck", says Mara getting a close look at it finally being confused by a water pokemon. What's wrong, Mara? Don't know how to deal with an acid trip pokemon??! "You have noooooo idea", Misty tells the confused and suddenly uncertain Mara. "Hmmm... alright, well I have to continue to catch more pokemon and so do you", Mara tells Misty as she then yells at her Wartortles like a sergeant keeping them on the move as they swim with the utmost speed keeping up with Mara's boat as they head off for another area of the harbor as Misty gets a long, analytical look at them.

But Misty vs. Mara isn't the only saga going on here, there are also some side adventures with this contest with our other squads. Crystal and Justin apparently have not found any pokemon yet. And they're also cruising at a leisurely pace as they both look spaced out. Well I guess it was the right time to get high again floating lazily out on the harbor.... guess it just feels right. "This competition isn't quite as easy as I thought", says Justin sounding like they ain't done sh*t since the beginning. "Yeah... Staryu and Kabutops have been looking for awhile and even they've had no luck", agrees half-baked Crystal.

"Well we've got to keep trying. I'm sure something will come up soon, Cris", Justin encourages as Crystal uses her hallucinogenic powers to look into the water and see something moving around in it. Could be a leaf, could be a pokemon, could be an adverse reflection of the sunlight..... but whatever it is Crystal spots it and after Justin makes sure she's sure, he has Staryu and Kabutops go chase after whatever it is. And after they swim around for a moment, the thing ends up popping out of the water revealing itself to be....

"Corsola", says the Corsola sounding much more butch than Misty's pink lunatic. "It's a Corsola", points out Crystal to identify this familiar looking pokemon as Justin claims they can score a lot of points by catching a Corsola even though the contest isn't based on hunts. Crystal has Staryu use water gun and successfully has it obey as Staryu cries, "Hya!" But Corsola reflects it back with its butch mirror coats Crystal gasps that she forgot about it. So Justin takes over and has Kabutops use slash attack on Corsola. So Corsola gets slashed by Kabutops as Corsola counters with a spike cannon attack.

So Justin has Kabutops escape as it utters, "Kabutops", dynamically. "Staryu, are you okay?", wonders Crystal as she then laughs at the shiny jewel of Staryu. She then figures that since the jewel isn't blinking its pretty light, that it's fine. Meanwhile, Justin has Kabutops surf over Corsola in a giant wave about 15 feet or 5 meters high. This washes out Corsola temporarily as Justin compliments Kabutops's effort. Kabutops is sounding pleased with itself before Corsola tries to sneak attack from behind. Justin tries to have Kabutops look out but before Corsola can get to him, Cris-tal has Staryu cut it off by using a spinning tackle attack which knocks out the Corsola.

"Way to go, Staryu!", shouts Cris-tal as Justin yells to her, "Cris... the park ball..... hurry!" "Oh right... park ball GOOO!", shouts Crystal in a rush as the Corsola struggles for a moment before deciding 'F*ck it' and it gets caught in the ball. The two of them celebrate as Sandshrew helps Pikachu celebrate by tossing it in the air to get up to the trainer's head's level to cheer in victory. "The rest of the field better watch out for us, now!", proclaims Justin before Misdreavus comes out to make him jump in shock. "This team's going straight to the top, baby!!", declares Cris-tal sounding as gangsta as a sweet little 14 year old can.

So now we hear the announcer bringing us up to date on how everybody is doing and giving us pointless pep talks and repeating rules unnecessarily. But he also tells us that since Baltimore cares about Maryland's ecosystem, all the pokemon caught in the harbor with the park balls will be returned to the ecosystem at the end of the contest. Oh geez...... which politician made that crap up? Mostly everyone has also gotten at least one pokemon to enter into the contest for the victory. But he also reminds us that no matter how many pokemon each team or trainer catches, only the best one can be kept to enter in the contest for the trophy.

During the announcer's typical Pokemon announcer ramblings, we see images of youngsters and weirdos alike catching such water pokemon as Goldeens, Squirtles, Remoraids, and Magikarps. In other words, typical water pokemon that won't be winning any contests.... unlike any character that matters.

So everyone's busy successfully capturing pokemon....... except conveniently enough.... for TR. "This stinks! We haven't found a single slimy water pokemon yet", complains Jessie before yelling at Meowth, "I thought your sonar device was supposed to work?!" "I taught so, too. But dese pokemon must be more elusive", excuses Meowth. "Yes, Meowth. And there are still other pokemon that hide beneath the floor that sonar can't detect", adds James. "Ohhh.... time's running out. We have to bait these pokemon somehow", growls Jessie.

Meowth then falls right into the trap wondering how she's going to bait them. "We'll need a pokemon that can dig its way down....", proclaims Jessie. "Wooooooobbbuuhhffet", yells Wobbuffet in the Lanturn costume next to the boat. "NOT YOU!", Jessie yells at Wobbuffet finishing, "Besides, only the members on the boat have a say in this! Now as I was saying.... the pokemon we need for this..... is YOU!" Jessie points to Meowth as he stutters to defend himself. But Jessie straps a breathing apparatus to him and tells him to get in there. Meowth yells all the way as he splashes into the water, dampening his gorgeously dry fur.

"Daaaahh.. I gotta do sometin buhfore I run intuh some big scary watuh beast. If I gotta fight one... I gots no chance in duh watuh", panics Meowth talking through his oxygen mouthpiece. Something then bumps him in the water... thinking it was the wobbly Wobbuffet in its disguise, Meowth yells for the bumbly blue blob to go fish elsewhere. Only it wasn't Wobbuffet.... the fish pokemon turns around though the shadow makes it tough to find out what it is. Looking back, Meowth hears Wobbuffet wobbing away above the surface. Meowth sees it though and starts to panic, "Waaaaahhhh!!", scrambling for the safety of the boat.

When he gets on the boat, Jessie screams at him, "What are you doing? You should be looking for pokemon you p..... errr..... scaredy cat!" "But you guys... dere is a pokemon aftuh me!", panics Meowth. "Yeah, right. Like we're supposed to buy that...", hmmph's James just as a Seaking erupts from the water jumping over the boat making TR cringe. "Seaking", cries the pissed off Seaking not ready to let any wimpy talking Meowth talk smack to it in English which it understands somehow. "It's a Seaking!", claims Jessie delightedly, "We'll certainly be champions of this crummy little contest catching that!" "Dat's great just keep it away from me, I's too frightened to be fightin", cowers Meowth like a wuss.

"James.... you know what to do", commands Jessie. "Roger", intuitively remarks James, "Alright Qwilfish, let's go!..... use your poison sting!" Qwilfish cries out its name before sucking up all the water it can to unleash its poison sting stopping Seaking in its tracks. But it only stops Seaking momentarily as it then uses its horn drill on Qwilfish. "What was dat?! Daaaaah!", wonders a frightened Meowth looking at the Seaking out to get it. "That was a horn drill which knocks out pokemon with one shot..... and it was dead on!!", remarks Jessie triggering James into a campy speech of anger to stand up for his motley group of pokemon. "You scourge.... you have some audacity to pull a sneaky stunt like that!", he yells as Seaking takes off into the water.

"It's getting away!! Wobbuh-Lanturn.... goooo after it!!", commands Jessie. "Wooooooobbuuuhhffet!", says Wobbuffet still floating patiently next to the boat not diving down after the Seaking. "Oh that's right, you can't swim........ RRRRRRR! That does it! I've had enough of this silly hunt/contest/whatever you call it", screams Jessie though the dub probably covers up what she truly said...... which would most likely be 2/3 bleeped. "But Jess.... what do you think we should do about it?", wonders James. "It's time to go to our elaborate Team Rocket Plan B!", declares Jessie. "Ya mean run intuh boats of our competitors en steal dere watuh pokemon?", summarizes Meowth. "Exactly", shouts Jessie pointing into the sky.

But TR isn't the only frustrated group out on the harbor... for it appears that our mighty water pokemon goddess hasn't caught a single freakin' pokemon yet. If it's TR, you know it's tough luck, but when it's the aqua diva, then it's absolutely pathetic..... but not to fear Misty lovers, for she has a plan. "You think this is where many of the pokemon are hiding?", Misty asks Seadra. "Doo dooooo", comically replies Seadra knowing that some valuable water pokemon prize catch is close by. "Great! I knew your sense of the harbor would come in handily for me..... that's why I picked you to be on my team being that I caught you in the harbor where you lived", Misty then asides to her seahorsy type pokemon. "Doo dooooo", answers Seadra. "Corsola", chimes in Corsola. "Psyyy?", wonders Psyduck.

"Now to use my ultimate secret weapon!!! Fans of the Mighty Misty may know what it is already.... that's right! It's my one... my only.... action figure Misty life-action model lure.............. <more silently> version 4.2", brags Misty commentating to the viewers. "Psy-duck?", questions Psyduck as Misty tells it that it's okay if Psyduck doesn't understand. But with her patented character lure, she's sure to reel in a winner....... a winner even more convincing than that Gyarados she encountered earlier she claims. So after a little while in the drink, something bites onto Misty (GETCHA MIND OUTTA DA GUTTA!!!)... uhhhh.... Misty's figure (I DON'T SEE IT COMPLETELY OUT YET!!!)... I mean... Misty's lure figurine. The same way that Misty lures many stupid species to be around her.....

"I got something!", proclaims Misty as Seadra, Corsola, and Psyduck look on. And coming out of the water is a..................... "Haaaaaaahhhhhh".... An Octillery..... which is cool by the way. But not just any Octillery... oh no Octillery fans.... a SHINY Octillery. Needless to say, Misty goes absolutely bonkers over discovering it. "Look at that Octillery... if I catch it, I should win the contest for sure!!", remarks Misty as Octillery goes, "Hhaaaaaaahhh..", again.

Misty sends Corsola out to tackle it but the crafty Octillery swims out of the way. Misty figures that it's a tricky golden Octillery so she decides that she'll have to be extra resourceful. Octillery tackles Corsola and then heads underwater to continue the attack. So Misty has Seadra use smokescreen to keep them protected.... or so she thinks. "Where is Octillery going to come out?", wonders Misty in her head as she sees a spot in the water start to bubble so she alerts her pokemon to get ready. When the Octillery leaps out, Misty has Seadra use its water gun on it, but Octillery counters it with a more powerful water gun tagging Seadra to the concern of Misty.

But as Misty feels like she's losing, coming in comes Justin and Crystal astounded at seeing the shiny Octillery which Justin is pointing out. So Crystal gets more info out of Dexter...

Octillery - the jet pokemon - Octillery traps enemies with its, suction-cupped tentacles, then smashes them with its, rock-hard head.

"Wow... a shiny Octillery. That might just win the contest", comments Cris-tal. "Corsola.... spike cannon!", commands Misty as Octillery takes the brunt of the attack. "Way to go, Corsola. Hurry Misty, use the park ball", shouts Justin. Right", agrees Misty but before she can get it out, Octillery uses its octazooka attack to take out Seadra and then it gets by a Corsola tackle. "Oh no... Seadra's in trouble", worries Misty. But never to fear.... for Psyduck the magnificent is here. Psyduck takes the initiative to dive gracefully into the water to help his comrades and gloriously............................... flaps its wings just to try and keep from sinking as it quacks, "Psy-y-y-y-duck-duck-duck-duck-duck-duck-duck-duck-duck..", while Misty shakes her head. "Looks like your day is over", she sighs as Psyduck gets called back to his pokeball.

"Hang in there, Misty. Don't let that Octillery get free!", shouts a voice from afar. "Huh?", wonders Misty as they turn to see Mara encouraging Misty almost like she 'encourages' her Wartortles. So seeing her competition makes her give a damn again and she watches the Octillery fire an octazooka at them. But Misty has Corsola use its mirror coat to turn it back on the bee-otch. But Corsola is also hurt badly also as Misty goes to check on it. But Crystal reminds her about the Octillery and Misty replies suddenly, "Oh yeah... park ball GOOOOOO!"

Octillery goes into the park ball in a dazed manner as it wriggles around in the water as everyone looks on cautiously. Eventually, Octillery stops and the light goes off to signify that the shiny Octillery was officially caught. Crystal, Justin, Pikachu, and Sandshrew cheer, Seadra and Corsola gloat about their work, while Mara looks more disappointed than happy for her new friend. Classic no-hearted coach's reaction there as Misty praises her pokemon and celebrates her capture.

"Great job, Misty", congratulates Mara half-heartedly, "That's a great capture and..." Mara gets cut off by Officer Jenny coming up on speedboat to warn everybody that a group of thieves are bumping into other competitor's boats and then stealing the pokemon. "That's stinks", announces Crystal as Officer Jenny says she has to warn the other trainers as well. So as Officer Jenny again refuses to tackle the problem head on immediately, Mara says they have to go find more pokemon before the competition ends, and to keep track of the contest thieves.

"Mara's right.... we shouldn't be quitting just yet", agrees Justin before they hear a couple of people yelling for thieves to come back to them. "Huh?", wonders Crystal as they see two boats chasing another boats sailing near them. "Hurry Meowth, press the accelerator faster!!", commands Jessie. "My muscles ain't big enough tuh push any foitha", complains Meowth. "HEY, is that Team Rocket??!", wonders Crystal looking somewhat startled. "Yeah", states Justin affirmatively as they watch the chase go by them. "Are they those thieves that Officer Jenny was talking about?", Mara asks Misty. "I'd bet on the house that they are", answers Misty in promotion of gambling as they all decide to give TR some real trouble.

Meowth is pushing the gas peddle with all his wimpy might as Wobbuh-lanturn and Qwilfish now on the boat so they aren't left behind. "Finally, we're starting to gain on them...", states Jessie until the twerps catch up to them and corner them into one of the coves. "Alright, Team Rocket, let all those pokemon go, right now!", shouts Crystal. "Not on your life, twerp!", shouts James. "You guys are making a bad name for this contest and we're going to make you pay", declares Mara angrily.

"I beg to differ significantly", answers Jessie as she dumps Wobbuffet back into the water with its Lanturn costume on. "Hey... that isn't even a Lanturn!", cries Mara. "It looks like Wobbuffet..", adds Misty. "Exactamundo, twoips! En dat light on da top of its head has enough juice tuh fry all ya precious little watuh pokeys once I press dis button activating the charger", explains Meowth. "And then they're all ours to add to our giant collection", says Jessie with a pile of stolen park balls behind her. "Activating da electric zappuh", decrees Meowth. "Woooobbuffet", cries Wobbuffet as it's Lanturn lamp unleashes it electric juice.

"Watch out!", warns Justin as almost all the water pokemon in the vicinity get shocked though Wobbuffet's costume is rubber insulated so our favorite blue pacifist is safe.... and with the experience and ability of Mara's Wartortles, they escape as well jumping out of the water. "Hope you like your fish... fried! Oooh hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoooo", laughs James. "Wartortle!", declares one of the Wartortle making TR look up in confusion. The one Wartortle, Shelly, slashes the cord with the lamp off the costume stopping the electric assaults. "AAHHHH... DID YOU SEE THAT?", asks a startled Jessie. "Our secret Lanturn weapon just went 'lights out'!", pun-ishes Meowth.

"Is Shelly okay?", worries Misty as she's treating her injured pokemon. Shelly then comes out a little injured, but otherwise undaunted and not seriously damaged. "That's a lot of resiliency there", says Justin. "They have a unique style about them that makes them awesome", figures Misty alluding to the fact that they're so good, they're revolutionary.

English 101 right there!! I suddenly wanna go to grad school and be a professor.

"Their style is about to be deflated", retorts James appropriately, "Qwilfish... use poison sting and hurry!" Qwilfish gets ready to unleash its stingers again until Mara orders Drew angrily (she sounds a little drunk if you ask me) to stop it with a tackle. Drew darts into the water with unbelievable speed for a Wartortle and tackles Qwilfish knocking it out as it stutters, "Qwillfshhh." "Did you see that??", gasps Crystal as Justin comments that he's never seen a Wartortle battle that quickly before.

Jessie then sends out Arbok to wrap Drew. Arbok squeezes on its shell momentarily but Mara proclaims, "Come on, Drew. That squeezing action is nothing you can't handle. Withdraw!!" Squeezing action, huh? Make of that and her coaching what you will.... In any event, Drew withdraws as then Mara menacingly has him use rapid spin to bash Arbok right back into Jessie. "Amazing........", says Misty in awe of the Wartortles, "<gasp> I almost forgot, the park ball", gasps Misty. But Misty's best friends are personal heroine deale... I mean.. heroine assures Misty she can take care of that.

Crystal has Sandshrew use its sandstorm making Sandshrew create a cyclone of sand ripping through TR as they shout in agony. The stolen park ball also get blown back to Cris-tal's boat conveniently enough. And with TR caught up in the sandstorm, Mara shouting (angrily for no reason) for Drew and Shelly to use hydro pump to soak TR. The combination of the attacks apparently detonates the boat like a Ford Pinto and voila.... TR's blasting off...

"Well.... how should we shout it today?", asks Jessie sounding pissed. "Puhhaps wit a little more oigency", suggests Meowth. "So be it..", grants James as they urgently shout...

"Team Rocket's blasting off agaaaaaaaaaaaiiinn!" .............."Wobbuuhh woooooooooooobbuuuhh!!"

"There they go again", comments Crystal. "And once again... I'm not sorry to see 'em go", declares Justin as Kabutops and Pikachu agree with him. "Your Wartortles are even more amazing than I thought, especially now that I've seen them battle", comments Misty. "Thanks Misty.... whew.... this day has taken a lot out of me!", answers Mara as she's tired of yelling like a command freak, "I think I'm gonna head back and make my entry." "Are you sure? Don't you want to win?", asks Misty selflessly.

Mara excuses that there's not much time left and that she doesn't want to overstress her clearly overstressed Wartortles, plus she's confident that despite Misty's shiny Octillery, she can still win with her Gyarados. A Gyarados she had no credit in discovering by the way..... "Oh alright", giggles Misty staring at Mara again as Justin agrees with Mara as he also smiles extra wide at her declaring, "Let's go make our entries."

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon??! (Who're these six pokemon?..... Dumbass game designers making this one pokemon.....)

It's Exeggcute!!! ............................................ "Exeggcuuuutte!"

So now the twerps along with Mara near the judges stage as all the entries are made by each team. As everyone cheers on, it looks like the choice for the winner will go either Mara's Gyarados or Misty's shiny Octillery. The both of them await the judges decision anxiously as they're both hopeful that they'll be the winner. The one male judge tells the panel he believes that Mara should win because nobody has ever caught a Gyarados in the contest before and it is clearly the tougher pokemon of the two. But a woman judge sides with Misty saying that anytime anyone captures a shiny pokemon, especially a fully evolved pokemon like Octillery, it is a very significant capture that proves the expertise of the trainer. All the judges listen to both their arguments and use them to make their decision.

"Do you think Misty or Mara will win?", Crystal asks Justin. "I don't know, Cris. It could go either way", replies Justin. And then the lead judge comes out to announce the decision and the winner of the Baltimore Inner Harbor Water Pokemon Hunt. The judge who looks like Doogie Howser... yep, the MD.... announces that this was one of the closest decisions ever. But still.... by a score of 17-14, the judges somehow shun Misty the victory and make Mara the most likely undeserving champion for the third year in a row.

Misty's disappointed at first but then feels great that her new shapely friend won. Misty congratulates Mara and then Mara shows some unexpected sportsmanship as she then congratulates Misty back and credits her with helping her win since she might've never caught that Gyarados without her finding it. "Yeah.... but you're the one that was able to capture it, not me", replies Misty unable to build u enough hatred against the woman being so kind to her yet stealing all her deserving rewards.

Mara then asks Misty about the Whirl Islands and the Whirl Cup and that she's now going to go enter into it. "That's a great idea, Mara. There are all sorts of unique water pokemon there. And I'm sure with your highly trained Wartortles, you can win the Whirl Cup", Misty assures her. "Wartortle!", agrees either Shelly or Drew confidently as Justin believes she can do it too as he has an extra wide grin on his face. "Misdreeeevuuuus!", objects Misdreavus coming out to shield Justin from other ladies as Justin laughs nervously, "Huh huh.... so does Misdreavus. Waaaaahhhh!!", and then falls over to Misdreavus. So Mara enjoys her title while she can and will enjoy success until I see her choking in the Whirl Cup and finally tasting defeat.

So don't be too mad at her.... I'm sure she'll get what's coming eventually. Even though her Wartortles are napkin shredding good. Until then... she looks ready to head to the bar and throw down a couple of alcoholic beverages thus going her alcoholic raging way.

And in the continuous round of bad luck deja vu, our beloved TR finds themselves being hunted down by the same Croconaws, Feraligators, and Remoraids. "Wooooobbuuuhh", states Wobbuffet saluting next to Jessie and James. Meowth meanwhile comments, "Uhhh you guys... don't dese look like the same pokemon that were out tuh get us last time we blasted off??" "I'm afraid so", answers James. "Oh please.... I'll give you all my worldly possessions if you don't attack my beautiful hair again", pleads Jessie. "RRRROOORRRGGHH!", roars one of the Feraligators making TR shout.... "AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

But if they think this was an adventure, they've hardly seen anything compared to what will cause them to go on one of the craziest, dodgiest, silliest chases that TR and the Cris-tal crew will ever embark on at their next major city arrival....... the city of brotherly love. And it's about to be invaded and impacted by this motley group of pokemon and overall characters..... in particular, one patiently pleased statuesque blue blob of joy.