Dragonitemare presents

Pokemon Crystal series

Ep. 54

Thaaaaaaat's right!

The action, dodginess, and intensity of the first installment of this now series was so loved, so popular, so brilliant.... that it had to make a return. And what more eventful place for our twerps and beloved heroes from Team Rocket to chase Wobbuffet through than the always eventful city of brotherly love. The major local city of the author as well as multiple dodgers .. There are plenty of landmarks, building, events, and waterways to be chasing our wobbly blue idol through and they'll do the whole city so let's begin promptly.

The Whirl Islands type computerized map has revealed to us that our threesome has reached the city of Philadelphia, which is the closest major city to New York. They are enjoying the sights of the skyline from their vantage point of a local street near the sports stadium and arenas. "I've heard a lot of great things about the city of Philadelphia... I've just never been here in person", comments Crystal knowing about the wild debauchery like crime and of course, drugs that have been known to be around in particular neighborhoods.

Misty states that she can't wait to try one of those Philly Cheesesteaks that she can get fat on. Speaking of chubbiness, Pikachu whole-heartedly agrees and is waiting for the moment where Sandshrew can buy it one.

"If I remember correctly from the last time I was here, they had two world famous Cheesesteak places... Geno's and Pat's...... they're both open 24 hours a day and they're right across the street from each other... Their rivalry is so intense that they often end up in brawls...", recalls Justin. "Oh my", reacts Misty as Justin goes on about his prior Philadelphia experiences.

But unbeknownst to them is the fact that our heroes, TR, is spying on them from around the block waiting to launch their trap on the threesome. "Perfect timing.... our twerps are headed right this way. You have everything set up, James?", Jessie asks him. "Indeed I do, being phony construction workers was a great scheme Meowth", James tells Meowth who's crouching next to our patiently pleased star o' the day, Wobbuffet. "Of course it's great, dere's always construction goin' on in Philly since da roads and building here are so crummy", replies Meowth. "Here they come... disguises on!", commands Jessie. "Woooooooobbbuuuhh", agrees Wobbuffet pointing out that he has no disguise. "YOU HIDE BEHIND THAT TRUCK!!!", yells Jessie kicking Wobbuffet behind a truck parked on the side of the road.

"Oh no.... this part of the road is blocked off", notices Crystal seeing the apparently legit construction barricade. "How are we going to get around?", figures Misty as Justin answers that they have no choice but to go around at the next open block. "Oh don't worry about that....", says Jessie disguised as a blue collar worker with her long hair miraculously tucked inside her hard hat, "this construction project is basically finished." Jessie can certainly play a broad range of roles..... where is she on Broadway when you need her? "We've finished up the sidewalk so it's safe to walk on...", continues James not bothering to disguise his voice. "Are you sure?? The sidewalk doesn't even look finished or anything...", comments Justin. "Yeah, something doesn't look right...", suspects Crystal who's a bit familiar with city surroundings.

"Oh nonsense, that's just the eastern Pennsylvanian look of city sidewalks. And besides, some local city orphans are coming tomorrow to paint murals on the roads and buildings", excuses James creatively. And orphans do provide great excuses for just about ANYTHING. Befuddled, the twerps decide to go ahead and cross anyway. Halfway across the crosswalk with TR behind them, the threesome first hears a crack, and then they fall all the way into a rocky, gravely

pit. The woosy twerps are all hurting from the fall as Crystal quips, "Well that's certainly some hard-knock construction..." TR then puts a metal grid across the hole opening so that the twerps can't get out. "That's cuz they're not real construction workers...", comments Justin announcing the unnecessarily obvious. "Sanshrew", snaps Sandshrew in disgust since he was waiting to charm Pikachu with buying it a meal. "Yeah, that's because they're Team Rocket!", shouts Misty sounding really pissed.

"Ha haa! Brilliant deductive work again", enlightens James as he, Jessie, and Meowth stand over the covered hole, "Too bad you couldn't deduce our scheme today." "Let us out", growls Crystal uselessly as Meowth then tells them that the scheme involves three things... 1) a pitfall 2) their pokemon in mad whoopee making, ass shaking love and now 3) some cement. "Huh?", react the threesome in horror as they see a couple of cement trucks starting to pour cement into the pit they're stuck in. "Ain't dis nice... da twoips are gonna be a poimanent part uh dis city from now on", states Meowth. "All the Eagles and Flyers will be trampling all over them before their games", then says James. “Why would they do that when they can just fly?”, curiously wonders the clueless Jessie. "Uuuggghh! Pikachu... Sandshrew... do something fast!!", groans Cris-tal.

But before they can attack TR, TR opens a couple of little metal hinges to snatch Sandshrew and Pikachu with two pairs of their robotic hands. "Oh no...", gasps Crystal as TR laughs, taking them and placing them in a special backpack that Wobbuffet is wearing. The two pokemon try to attack their way out of it but to no avail with Jessie explaining that the backpack that 'their bumbly blue blob' is wearing drains all of their energy rendering them unconscious. "We have to do something now or we'll be part of an asphault grave..", fears Crystal. So Misty calls on Togetic who cries out, "Toge-trrrrric!", to use rollout to break through the metal grid which it does successfully.

"Eeeeeeee! Let's get out of here before the twerps escape!!!", demands James as their happy Buddha-faced Meowth balloon begins to land for them. Jessie looks back to get Wobbuffet when she sees a couple people race by and almost shove Wobbuffet and its baggage to the ground. "Hey..... watch out! You almost hit what we stole!!!", shouts Jessie. "Can it on the 's' word, Jess", warns James being the dodgiest character out there like he usually is. The twerps then make it out of the hole with Crystal yelling, "Alright Team Rocket, now..." But she is cut off by a mousy sounding announcer yelling, "They're coming right through the heart of south Philly now, the runners in the Philadelphia 5K cancer race for the cure....", going on explaining about they're racing for a cure for cancer.

"Huh??", huh's everybody rocket and twerp alike. "Pika??... PIKA!!", panics Pikachu until it starts to lose its energy along with Sandshrew as they start to get dreary. TR looks around the corner to see a whole horde of marathon runners

coming down the street that Wobbuffet is standing in the middle of. "What's happening?", wonders Justin. "WOBBUFFET!! Get out of the way!", panics Jessie as James adds, "Run away.... don't let those runners get you." "WOOOOOOOBBUUHHFFET!", obliges Wobbuffet beginning to wobble away except that he starts to move in the same direction as the runners running away from them instead of towards TR. "NO WOBBUFFET... not THAT way!", shouts Jessie nervously.

"Oh no.... they're gaining on them", fears Misty. "Woooooobbuuuhhffeeet", beckons Wobbuffet wobbling for all its worth but the sea of runners overtake them and begin to carry Wobbuffet, along with Sandshrew and Pikachu, away from our cast and towards the heart of the city. "WOOOOO-OOOO-OOOBBUUHH!", cries Wobbuffet being carried away by the mob of runners pretending to be caring. "Y'know.... I gotta funny feelin' dat we're in fuh anutha Wobbuffet chase", quips Meowth.

Oh brother.... you don't know how right you are, Meowth.....

<cue intro>

"Woooooo-oooo-oooooobbuuuhhffet!", proclaims Wobbuffet as the crowd takes him down the street away from TR and around the block disappearing. The threesome is in despair about how they could ever find their pokemon. "We're going to have to find out where those runners are going, I guess", thinks Justin. "Yeah... but first let's deal with these cement trucks and our clothes. We can't run around this city looking like this", adds Crystal. So Misty decides that they

should wash off first and calls upon Staryu to wash the cement off. Once the cement's washed off their Unionbay and LEI jeans, Crystal and Justin go to shut off the cement trucks that TR used on them. "Good job, Staryu... Now return!", commands Misty as Staryu gets called back to its pokeball. TR is using this time to get into their balloon and look for Wobbuffet from above.

"Let's get a head start while da twoips is distracted", says Meowth. But Crystal yells at them, "I don't think so.... you're staying right here!! Goooooo Noctowl!" Noctowl comes out surrounded by sparkling crack powder cawwing and flapping its wings too slowly to look normal. Cris-tal has Noctowl puncture the happy Buddha-faced Meowth balloon to ground Team Rocket as they crash back down to the street quickly. "You're not getting to our pokemon before we do",

Crystal states vindictively before telling her companions, "Let's head downtown, that's probably where that race is going. And I'd better not see you running around there either..." So the threesome goes to race after the fugitive pokemon as Crystal has Noctowl look for them from above. Thus, they race off towards the downtown area to try and find Pikachu, Sandshrew, and Wobbuffet.

"Those twerpy twerps! Now we're behind because of them", complains Jessie. "We may never find any of those pokemon if we don't do something...", adds James. "Heeeey.... I tink I gots an idea", proclaims Meowth looking at a couple of bikes in front of an office building. "Is it stealing those bikes??", asks James. "Ya hit da nail on the plywood, Jimmy", retorts Meowth. "Let's do it", proclaims Jessie. So they go to take the bikes as some nerdy bicycle dude complains that they can't take his bikes. "You're right, we can't take your bikes.... but we can steal 'em", says Jessie in reply. "Ain't stealing grand?", adds James to express his

love for being a crook. The guy tries to stop them forcibly but Jessie has Arbok hold him off as it swats the guy with its tail. "Nice job, Arbok. Now let's go!", proclaims Jessie praising it in ways that Weezing could never even dream of

returning Arbok immediately, "We have pokemon to round up!" TR then pedals their way down the street with ease due to their great fitness and figures.

So as everybody's combing the streets of Philadelphia to search for their pokemon, we find the mob of cancer runners coming up through an alley somewhere in south Philly. Marathon planners obviously had the runners go through the ghetto routes on the way to the finish. When they pass by a side alley that goes out to another main road, that's where our weary blue hero gets dumped off along with Pikachu and Sandshrew whom he is still carrying. "Wooooobbuuhhffet", observes Wobbuffet as he dusts off the jogger sweat and makes his way through the alley. When he comes out, he sees tension building between what looks like two mobs of gangsters.

"You cheap con-artists have sabotaged our business for the last time", shouts the leader of the one group with a scratchy, rough voice. "You sabotaged us?? The only one you're sabotaging is the ugly mug you see in the mirror every afternoon when you wake up", replies the other leader with a deeper scratchier voice. Wobbuffet then looks to his left and sees the sign for Pat's steak house. "Wooooooooobbbuuuhhffet!", he says approvingly ready to eat. He turns to wobb over there until he looks right and sees the sign for Geno's steak house.... another Philly cheesesteak landmark. "Wooooooobbbuuuhh", states Wobbuffet

who now has to make a decision of where he wants to eat. So Wobbuffet sees the guys arguing in between the two establishments and decides to use their help to figure out where to eat.

"Come on... you wanna have me knock ya out again??!", says the one guy on the Geno's side. "I'd love to put you outta business once en for all", replies the other guy on the Pat's side. The two groups then start to get loud and raise their sticks willing to brawl. "Come on, I'll....... huh?", the Geno leader taunts until they see something unusual among the snarling gangsters and Granbulls. They all see

Wobbuffet coming up in between the rival groups as Wobbuffet happily echoes, "Wooooooobbuuhhffet!" "Ya better go run and hide you blue.... whatever you are, this is no place to be standing", warns the Pat's leader. "I bet your hungry and want one of our cheesesteaks for you and your sleeping partners, don't you?", suggests the Geno's leader.

"Wooooooooobbuuhhffet!", salutes Wobbuffet as that is what he would like. "One of yer greasy junk sandwiches?? Hah..", laughs the rival leader, "Sure, give away all your business to a bumbling blue blob. We're about to run you out of business anyway!" "Well you've been tryin' and failin' for about 100 years now!", retorts the Geno's boss. "Well uhh... for 100 years, we've been lettin' you get off easy! But not today... we'll leave a stain on your business you'll never be able to get out...", threatens the other boss. "Woooooooobbuuhh!", comments Wobbuffet astutely. "Git out of the way cuz I'm about to do some bone whackin'", threatens the boss of Pat's. Confused, Wobbuffet patiently stands there and salutes the guy shouting, "WOOOOOOOBBUUHHFFET!"

"THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD ENOUGH.... LET'S GO BOYS! TIME TO GIT OURSELVES SOME!!", shouts the Pat's guy who's much less patient. The mob from Pat's yells ready to fight as the Geno's mob yells with their boss shouting, "We'll never back down from you!" "Wobbuh... wooooobbuuhhffet!", comments Wobbuffet looking left and right at the approaching mobs. The two leaders get to each other ready to tear each other limb from limb. Joy!!..... Gratuitous violence!!.... on Pokemon no less... The two leaders clash but our patiently

pleased blue protagonist is still in the middle of them. The both growl as they shout, "GET OUT OF OUR WAY!!", to Wobbuffet. "Woooobbuuhhffet", refuses Wobbuffet carrying Sandshrew and Pikachu who are unconscious on the back of Wobbuffet.

He wants to give peace a chance.... God bless him.

"Fine... then you're really askin' for it", states the boss of Pat's. "Yeah... let's see you salute to this", threatens the Geno's boss as they ready themselves to whack Wobbo with baseball bats to force it out of the way. "Wooooobbuuhhffet!", shouts Wobbuffet who closes his slants for eyes, raises its odd looking tail, and glows red countering the baseball bat assaults thumping both leaders to the ground to the shock of the two groups. "No way!", gasps one of the gangster cheesesteak people. "You can't do that to our leader and get away with it", shouts a Pat's worker as all the others agree. "Wooooooooobb", calmly answers Wobbuffet with a sweatdrop behind it as the gangsters look ominously at him.

That is..... until police sirens sound signaling the corrupt coppers. "Yikes... it's the cops!", panics one guy who sounds like Buckwheat from the Little Rascals as they all begin to scatter back to their respective sides. Once again confused, Wobbuffet scratches his blue head with one of his arms and salutes everybody with the other. So Wobbuffet looks around until he sees what appears to be the back of Jessie's head..... could it be her?? Wobbuffet thinks so stating, "Woooooooobbuuhhffet!", and then he carries his baggage with him into the truck where he thought he saw Jessie's red hair. "Wooooooooobbuuhh", ponders Wobbuffet as it turns out to be just a bunch of red and white pom-poms.

"Okay, Stacy. Ready to, like, go back to our hotel", asks this one airheaded cheerleader who just got a cheesesteak from one of the stands. "For sure.... I can't wait for our competition tomorrow", replies the girl who must be Stacy. She then puts up the metal cage with all their cheerleading equipment in it locking Wobbuffet and co. in there. But these cheerleaders are so beyond airheaded that they don't even notice Wobbuffet, Pikachu, and Sandshrew in there...... WHEN ALL THEIR EQUIPMENT IS EITHER RED OR WHITE!!!

Watch out, Ash, you may have some company..... or some long-lost siblings.

So the group of cheerleaders drive away from the cheesesteak brawl scene unaware of the cargo they're carrying. They ride a few blocks with Wobbuffet sitting back on top of a plush Moltres that they must use as a prop. "Wooooo-oooo-oooooooobbuuuhhh", shouts Wobbuffet hanging on for dear life. "Uhhh Stacy? Did you, like, hear something??", asks the one cheerleading blockhead. "Maybe it was the stereo", replies Stacy. "Okay... then let's, like, change the channel", suggests the driver (who must be driving illegally because displayed intelligence clearly shows that she could never ever get a driver's license in the state of Pennsylvania).

But as she goes to flip the dial to a crappy pop station, a couple of real gang members, one white with a bandana and one black with blue baseball cap sideways, stop them by jumping in front of their truck flashing what looks to be

a couple of guns. Time to cry and hug your mommies, younger demo audience. Then they toss them out of their vehicle yelling at them to get out. The nervous girls panic as they are unceremoniously taken out of their truck by the carjackers.

The cheerleaders are left on the block in their short skirts and tank tops in the less than peechy keen neighborhood as the carjackers take off unsuspecting that they're carrying a bunch of pokemon behind them. The young girls then scream

for help and that their car has been carjacked. The white dude takes the wheel as the black dude get in on the other side. Two years later.... we'll find them working at the local Jiggly Room strip club.

While Wobbuffet is riding in trucks with crooks, Team Rocket is arriving on the scene of the recent cheesesteak confrontation between Geno's and Pat's. "Wow... look at all the police", observes Jessie as they then all notice the two cheesesteak establishments they're in between. "Ooooh!! Look at these old style Philly cheesesteak restaurants. I've always dreamed of eating an original Philly cheesesteak in Philly with a coating of horseradish sauce", dreams James as J & J are suddenly and understandable hungry. "Snap back tuh reality! Look at all da money we don't got!! And tink about da money we'll nevuh get from da boss if we don't find Wobbuffet along with dose twoips Pokemon!", snaps Meowth.

"I suppose your right, Meowth", sighs Jessie sadly. "Besides... there too many cops and thugs around to worry about trying to snatch some grub", quips James who doesn't want to see coppers around when he's trying to get some meat.......... make of it what you will... not like I don't know what it'll be. "What was that?? A carjacking on South Street? I'm right on it!", says Philly P. D. Officer Jenny

talking into her car radio. And so she goes into her car to find this wicked carjacker that victimizes cheerleaders leaving spoiled clueless rich girls on city street corners.

Well at least the girls deserve to be in fear somewhat.....

"Oohhhhhh!! This stinks! There are cops everywhere and we have no way to find Wobbuffet", groans Jessie, "Don't you have our balloon mechanically repaired yet, Meowth??". "I guess not. It'll only come tuh us once the hole is repayred", states Meowth. "So.... until then", ponders James, "... We're just going to have to resort to biking around town." "Oohhhhh.... I feel so...", moans Jessie looking back and forth between Geno's and Pat's, "....... sandwiched!!!" After the pun-ishment, she demands that they continue looking for the 'stupid blue blob'. And then they head off biking with Meowth clinging to the back of James's neck as they continue to search for Wobbuffet.

We then go back to the truck that our criminal carjackers have stolen. They're laughing it up and listening to their dang loud, evil rap music on full blast. "Aaah haa haa haa haa haaaaa", laughs the one brutha, "No cop is gonna suspect

dat a thug would go after a ratty ol' truck fulla cheerleadin' equipment." And conveniently enough for these future TV's Dumbest Criminals, here comes a cop car chasing after them with the sirens blaring. "Yikes.... it can't be!", yells one of the robbers as they go over a massive bump that sends Wobbuffet tumbling into the front part of the truck where the robbers are. The bump also makes them bump and hit their heads so they don't notice what rolled in through the back window. "Uh man... don't worry dog, once we turn around this block, we'll be on da highway and outta the state before we know it", explains the gangsta passenger wearing a handkerchief to cover his hair like all those tough guys that James reads in Black Inches magazine.

The driver crook agrees and cackles as he begins to rummage through something in his bag... much like the way Cris-tal does finding what looks like brown, ground up plant-based substances..... not that 4Kids would ever poison kids minds with that though, of course. "WOOOOOOOOOBBUUHH WOOOOOOOOOOBBBUUUHHFFET!!!", salutes Wobbuffet popping up in between them carrying the still unconscious pokemon duo as it enjoys the company of these thug strangers. "WHAAA.... WHERE DA HECK DID YOU COME FROM?!?", gasps the driver. "HEY BRO, WATCH DA ROAD!!", panics the passenger who then notices the line of parked cars that the truck is speeding towards. "WAAAAAHHH!", shouts the carjackers as Wobbuffet shouts, "WOOOOOOOOBB!" "They're going to crash", gasps Officer Jenny who slows down watching the massive collision.

But while the crooks appear injured and seem to be meat for the authorities, Wobbuffet, like any true TR patriot blasts off towards another area of the city. "Wooooooooobbuuhh wooooooooooobbuuhhffet!" As far as the twerps go, they

aren't getting anywhere either with the hunt for Wobbuffet, Sandshrew, or Pikachu. "No sign of any of them, yet. And we've only looked in a few parts of this massive city", states Misty. "Man... if Philly's this big, I can't imagine how big New York's gonna be...", fears Justin foreshadowing their arrival there. "Ohhhh... I'm so worried. What's gonna happen if Sandshrew and Pikachu remain conked out for too long.... or even worse.... what am I gonna tell Ash and Professor Oak and everyone back home?", fears Cris-tal.

"Don't worry about Pikachu and Sandshrew. We'll find them, Crystal. I promise", assures Misty comforting Crystal. Noctowl then comes down to inform them of...... well... nothing judging from its reaction to Crystal inquiry of whether or not she found Wobbuffet. Noctowl shakes its head no crookedly to indicate that it did not see any Wobbuffets. "Nothing, huh? Man, this is going to be difficult", comments Crystal. "If only we had some kind of signal...", quips Justin as Wobbuffet flies right over them as they spot it along with Pikachu and Sandshrew still on his back. "Is that them??", wonders Justin. "It has to be!!", declares Misty. "They're heading that way, let's go get to them!", leads Crystal as they all run down the street after our patiently pleased blue hero.

"WOOOOOOOOOBBBUUUHHFFET!", shouts Wobbuffet who then plunges

into what will later be called the Schuylkill (pronounced Skoo-kull) River. We then see it wobbing and saluting for its life as it floats down the river barely keeping Sandshrew and Pikachu above water.

Ah... that Wobbuffet...

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon?!? (This pokemon is so dumb looking that it makes us glad that there's no such thing as a mini-elephant.)

It's Phanpy!! .............................................. "Phanpy phaanpy!!!"

As Wobbuffet salutes his way down the fast moving river, Cris-tal and co. try to follow Wobbuffet running down the street. But at the end of the street is a tunnel blocked with debris that has train tracks running over the top of the tunnel. "The tunnel's blocked!", notices Misty as Justin proclaims they'll have to find a way to get around it. "Or... we can plow right through it!", states Crystal. "Plow through it?? What do you mean?", asks Justin. "Goooooooo Tauros!", shouts Crystal and out comes Tauros snorting and crying, "HUUURRRRHHHHNN!" Yes you may have forgotten that Cris-tal sent Totodile to Prof. Oak TEMPORARILY SO DON'T PANIC for the bull pokemon so it could be tortured into pulling all of them up the mountain.

"Hello Tauros", greets Crystal as Tauros responds with its cry. Crystal then makes it put its body on the line some more by plowing through the debris blocking the tunnel. So after a few attempts, Tauros breaks through so the twerps can make it into the tunnel..... only there's more debris blocking the exit as Justin points out. So Tauros has to ram into that pile of trash as well dirtying himself as he breaks through to the exit of the tunnel. Crystal compliments Tauros then makes him return to his pokeball as the threesome looks to see where Wobbuffet ended up.

But still... despite Tauros being subjected to inclement weather, forced bondage, having to ram its head several times into piles of garbage, and then getting just empty compliments for it, the fact of the matter remains............................... I'm sure he'd still would rather do this than be at Prof. Oak's lab of perversion.

The threesome then see Wobbuffet floating swiftly down the river which Justin points out is the Schuylkill (skoo-kull). So they go to chase after Wobbuffet along with Pikachu and Sandshrew who are just barely above the water's surface. But they can't keep up with the current of the Schuylkill so Crystal says that they need a way to catch up with them. And wouldn't ya know it, right on time comes the train that runs along the Schuylkill that the threesome just crossed under. "The train...", observes Crystal starting to gasp for air, "Errrr... this is gonna be hairy... but I've gotta do it! Tauros, I need you again!" And so Tauros comes out as Crystal says she needs him to help her catch up with the train.

"Wh-what?? Crystal, that's very dangerous", gasps Misty worried for the safety of her really good friend. "I know... but I have to get to my pokemon! Let's go Tauros", she commands as she uses a stone to jump on Tauros's back as he carries her alongside the train making her.... yep..... AN ACTION HEROINE!!!! The train is going really fast as Crystal is trying to race Tauros alongside it so she can climb up onto the roof of one of the cars.

While the threesome has locked onto Wobbuffet, TR on the other hand, has definitely not. They're riding around on their stolen bikes near the river but they don't seem to be getting anywhere. "Ohhhh.... we've probably run circles around this stupid city and there's no sight of Wobbuffet or those two valuable pokemon", complains Jessie. "I shudder to think that those poor pokemon are left in this cold, dark, dangerous urban jungle in great peril", fears James. "I's just tinkin' about all dose times we was so mean tuh dat dumb little blobby blob, yet it still was always friendly tuh us en was a proud Team Rocket troopuh", sniffs Meowth nostalgically, "En Pikachu en Sandshrew.... what kin I say?? I know dey wuz always shockin' us and makin us look bad. But they are great pokemon and can be very kind when it mattuhs most." "Ohh... I'm so worried about them, too", James starts to sniffle, "At least I know that this city is very warm and friendly. It always has been to me." It seems like Philadelphia has welcomed plenty of people like James, indeed. And he just feels so bubbly and emotional about it.... good for the city!! Good for him!!!

"WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, JAMES?", shouts Jessie not

wanting to have any of it, "... and besides, if we don't find that Wobbuffet and get those pokemon to the boss, then we're going to be in just as bad of shape as Wobbuffet will be!" "Maybe we should wait for the 6 o' clock news to see where they found them on the news", suggests James stupidly. "YOU NIMROD!!", shouts Jessie smacking him, "By the time that happens we'll already be too late!" "Woooooooooobbuuuhhffeeet!", shouts Wobbuffet as it floats by on the Schuylkill still saluting and floating at the same time. "Not now, you dumb blue bumbler! I already have enough to worry about without having you.... huh?", shouts Jessie looking in back of her.

"Wooooooobbuuuhh wooooobb", shouts Wobbuffet going right by TR. TR rushes out to the river to see Wobbuffet going right by them. "Wobbuffet!!", shouts Jessie delightedly as they spot Pikachu and Sandshrew still on Wobbuffet's back. Wobbuffet turns around and then happily waves its arms proclaiming, "Wooooooooobbuuuhh woooooobbuuuhhffet!" "Ugh... hang on, Wobbuffet. We're coming to rescue you..... huh?", pants Jessie running gallantly with her long legs. But she also notices that across the river, Crystal is playing the role of 007 trying to get her way onto the train with her Tauros. "Ugh..... just.. a little more, Tauros", mutters Crystal as she eventually gets onto the roof of the train car hanging on for dear life.

"It's the twerp!! She's using the train to get an advantage", observes James. "Oh no she won't!", demands Jessie as Meowth sees a boat coming on by alongside them. "Hey Jess..... wait!!", pleads James but Jessie will stop at nothing to keep one of her arch-rivals from winning (Cassidy is the other). So she leaps right into the speeding boat which coincidentally enough contains the exact same lugnut that TR stole the bikes from!! Running into a desperate and angry Jessie twice in one day?? Now that is some true bad luck!! "Aah-aaaaaahh.... not you again! You can have the boat! You can have the boat! Just don't sic your Arbok on me again", snivels the health nut. "Quiet you!!", screams Jessie as her rage makes her take the guy and heave him right off the edge of the boat as he shouts, "WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

Meanwhile, Crystal has perched herself in a three point stance on top of the speeding train. "Well.... here goes nothing..", she thinks to herself as her chemical imbalance takes care of any pain she may end up feeling. And thus, she leaps from the speeding train to the horror of Justin and Misty, right into the Schuylkill. She tries to go to get her pokemon detached from Wobbuffet's backpack. "Woooooobbuuhhffet!", says Wobbuffet curiously as Cris-tal swims towards it as she feels the water suddenly cooling down on her. But then Cris-tal sees a boat flying towards it just as she's about to reach Wobbuffet. "Don't worry Wobbuffet.... I'll rescue you", proclaims Jessie.

"WOOOOOOOOOOBBBUUUHHFFET!", salutes Wobbuffet as Jessie plans, "Now if you can just return to your pokeball, we can end this..... return Wobbuffet!", as she approaches Wobbuffet. But unfortunately, it looks like she misses from the speeding boat. " I missed", thinks Jessie.... until she realizes that it was no accident, "Rrrrr... then again, it wasn't really me, was it?" But then suddenly the boat's about to run over the both of them as Jessie's frustrated over Wobbuffet not returning to its ball. Wobbuffet and Crystal shout in panic and ducks underwater to avoid a sinister Jessie about to run over her. A panicking Jessie barely misses the both of them.

Crystal then reappears spitting out water breathing a sigh of relief, but then she notices Wobbuffet carrying Sandshrew and Pikachu... the two of them sleeping through one heck of an adventure. Crystal swims over to them as she says worriedly, "Don't worry you guys.... I'll get you free", as she fusses with Wobbuffet's backpack as she tries to free them. "Woooooobbuuhhffeeet", says Wobbuffet being as patient as always as Cris-tal works him over. (GETCHA MIND OUTTA DA GUTTA!) But just as Crystal is about to free her pokemon, Jessie swoops up Wobbuffet along with its valuables on its backpack as Crystal complains, "Heeeeeyy!!"

Jessie and Wobbuffet then go back upstream as Jessie has successfully reunited with Wobbuffet..... only they have to figure out how to stop the boat this time. "Come back here, Jessie!", scowls Crystal. But Jessie just laughs back and shouts, "So looong, sucker! Mwa hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah haaaaa!" "Wooooooooobbuuuuhhffet!", utters Wobbuffet pointing ahead at something. "Quiet you! Can't you see I'm gloating?!?", shouts Jessie. "WOOOOOBBUUHH WOOOOOOOOOOBBUUUUUUHH!", yells Wobbuffet to get Jessie's attention that the boat is about to crash into the cement wall bank of the Schuylkill unless they turn.

"We're gonna crash! Turn the steering wheel to the left, Wobbuffet", directs Jessie not caring to do it herself. Hey, come on, now.... she's had a rough day already (let alone a rough seven seasons on TV by now). Not that it's going to get any better.... but still... hey! "Wooooooobbbuuuuhhffet", responds Wobbuffet with a patiently confused look on his face. So Wobbuffet decides to tug on the steering wheel which makes the boat's nose aim up instead of left. "Wobbuffet!?", shouts Jessie before noticing that it's not going left and that they're about to crash. "Waaaaaaaaaahhhh!", shouts Jessie while Wobbuffet utters, "Wooooooooobbuuuuhh!" But the two TR heroes hit a crest on the Schuylkill against the wall which causes the boat to leap up out of the water dumping Jessie back into the river since she's not sitting down. But since Wobbuffet had a seat behind him, he's taken with the boat right over the wall separating the river and the downtown area.

The boat lands in the middle of the street and Wobbuffet is forced about 200 feet out away from where the boat lands about a block down the street. A mere scratch for a pokemon that has been blasted off dozens of times.... "Woooooooooobbuuuuhhffeeet", remarks Wobbuffet looking around for Jessie but there's no sign of its faithful master. So Wobbuffet simply heads towards the center of the city wobbing around for its TR counterparts that it complements so well.

Meanwhile, Jessie's getting washed away in the Schuylkill as she quickly shouts and pleads for someone to rescue her and get her out of this 'slimy' river. So as Jessie screams and washes away, TR is able to get her with their back up balloon.... the happy Buddha-faced Wobbuffet balloon. They pull Jessie up into their basket a soaking wet mess. "What happened tuh Wobbuffet?", wonders Meowth. "That bumbling ball of blue blob got away!! And what's this balloon we're in?", wonders Jessie. "Ahh... dis is our altuhnate balloon. I wuz finally able tuh get it here so we kin look for our blue companion", explains Meowth. "It'll save us from racing around this city to look for it", declares James sounding very giddy. "IT DIDN'T SAVE ME FROM GETTING TOTALLY SOAKED WITH GARBAGE IN THIS STINKIN RIVER!!!", screams Jessie as she smacks the two of them repeatedly. "Eeeeeeeee!", eee's James who then blurts out more hilarious sillies quipping, "I'm so sorry you had to soil yourself, Jessie." "Kin yuh tell us which way Wobbuffet went?", Meowth asks. "UUUUURRRRGGGHHH!", growls Jessie, "It went that way!", she declares so James commands for them to take flight.

So as TR plans to search from above, the twerps are still down below as Dragonite rescues Crystal from the banks of the Schuylkill further downstream. "Are you alright, Crystal?", asks Justin. "Yeah... ", replies Crystal coughing after a very bumpy ride, "But Team Rocket got away with Sandshrew and Pikachu upstream." "Drat.... we were so close to getting them back", snaps Justin. "What are we gonna do?", worries Misty looking down at Crystal's backside. "I guess our best hope right now is to head back upstream and ask people about Team Rocket's whereabouts. We can also try to spot Wobbuffet from the sky. Dragonite.... fly around the area and look for Wobbuffet!", says Justin as Dragonite zips off to the sky to go look for our patiently pleased blue friend from above. "Let's head into Center City and see if anyone has spotted our pokemon, Wobbuffet, or Team Rocket", suggests Crystal as they head across a bridge crossing the Schuylkill into the downtown section.... knows as Center City.

Wobbuffet meanwhile, has also made its way towards Center City, still carrying the unconscious corpses of Sandshrew and Pikachu on its back. "Woooooooobbbuuuhhffeeet", casually observes Wobbuffet paying attention to the abstraction of colors. But then Wobbuffet looks across the street to find a

friendly Magnemite looking at our patient protagonistic TR villain. Thus, Wobbuffet wobbles his way towards the taxi cab with the rear passenger door open. "Magnemite", greets the magnet pokemon electronically. "Wooooooobbuuhhffeet!", salutes Wobbuffet right back as it crosses the busy street. "Mag-nemite", Magnemite then tells Wobbuffet about the banjo fest going on at a local performance hall. "Woooooobbuuuhh wobbuuuhh!", thanks Wobbuffet with another salute.

"Halt, you two crooks!", shouts Officer Jenny yelling at the two cheerleading carjackers from earlier. Nice job of corralling dangerous crooks laying in waste right in front of yo' ass, Officer!!!! "Quick yo... let's get away in this cab!", urges the one extra crook. So they hustle into the cab not noticing Wobbuffet again as it climbs into the backseat in the heat of the moment as the crooks stupidly don't notice the blue blobby companion from before. One of them shoos the Magnemite away actually scaring it into jumpstarting the car with its thundershock as the crooks begin to make their getaway as the driver of the taxi complains about his taxi getting stolen. The guy looks like an older, fatter, more bald and less gay version of James...... in other words... it's the James that conservatives would like you to believe is one of the 'villains' on the show.

The crooks speed around a couple of Philly block around some of the skyscrapers in the city but our blue patient copper doesn't let them get far. "Whoa boy, were we lucky this thing starter fo us when it did", sighs the driver. "You said it, dawg", replies the other homey. "WOOOOOOOBBBUUUHHFFET!", greets Wobbuffet with a salute meeting the two gangstas again. "WHAT DAAA HECK?!", gasps the passenger. "Not you again.... how'd you get in here?", asks the bewildered driver looking at Wobbo and not the road. "Are you sure its the same one?", asks the passenger crook. "It's gotta be... it's still got dem two sleepin' pokemon on its back..", replies the driver pointing out Sandshrew and Pikachu who are still devoid of energy and unconscious.

"Watch out for da road, brutha!!", alerts the passenger as they careen through an intersection scattering frantic pedestrians and street Pidgeys before then pointing out, "The potholes, yo!". So they end up getting tossed around thanks to the massive midtown bunker potholes as we see them flailing in mid-air after each pothole. So they make it through the potholes with the taxi going down 30th street with Officer Jenny and other cops still chasing. And the two gangstas are now watching from the backseat driver (who's now in the backseat... or.... not driving) commenting, "Aw man, my teeth!", revealing his gold teeth. "What happened to that... uhhh... thing?", wonders his companion as they're stuck together in the backseat. "Woooooobbuuuhhffet", alerts Wobbuffet who's now located behind the wheel.....

That's right boy and girl dodgers alike...... WOBBUFFET IS NOW DRIVING THE CAR!!!

"Daaaaaaaahhhh", panic the crooks as one of them begs it not to do anything except try to hit the brakes. Meanwhile, a few blocks away in a group completely unrelated with this story or this series, about three young teenage peers, about 14-15 years old, are laughing at this other unfortunate peer that appears to have a comic book in hand. They appear to be visiting the city from a local suburb. The one young dude criticized the comic book guy laughing at him, "Face it, Paul. Your silly Internet comics about a Charizard household as they fight evil talking pokemon villains?? Yeah... it'll work............................ when Wobbuffets drive!!! WAAAAAHHH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!!!"

And so the peers continue to laugh hysterically at the poor chum named Paul who's comic strip seems to be woefully misbegotten. That is..... until they see a taxi whoosh by them as Wobbuffet shouts, "WOOOOOOOOOOOBBBUUUUUUHHH!!!", unable to hit the brakes on the car. So as Wobbuffet continues to speed down 30th street, Paul gives at first, a disturbed look, and perhaps rightfully so, but then he turns towards his embarrassed peers that were busting his balls for it. The one kid then mutters to him, "Uhhhhh........ I rescind my statement...."

Note: the previous two paragraphs were in way intended to slander any author, artist, ar-teest, dodger, or squirrel in any matter. This was merely a fictitious dramatization of the trials and tribulations of others.

And so continuing on, Wobbuffet is still 'driving' the taxi full speed down the road which ends up going into a circle around an old, majestic two-story building. "Watch out yo, we're gonna crash into dat place!", the driver crook alerts Wobbuffet as the taxi still hasn't slowed down fast enough. So the crooks begin to yell in panic as Wobbuffet yells, "Woooooooooobbbuuuhh!", in patience as it salutes with one hand and with the other hand, hits the steering wheel hard enough so that the taxi peels out. The taxi ends up hitting the side of the building lightly so that it's not damaged. As for the taxi passengers, they aren't seriously hurt, but they took a good bump from the hit as the taxi finally stops.

"Whew", gasps the passenger crook askin' his homey if he's alright as Wobbuffet makes his way out of the cab safely along with Sandshrew and Pikachu on his back unharmed. Wobbuffet begins to gradually wobb his way towards the entrance to the building where classes on a field trip are entering unaware of the accident that took place around the corner. "Over here, children, is one of the most famous landmarks in the country... the American liberty bell", explains the tourist guide who looks like Miss Information from Animaniacs (or was that Histeria??). The children gaze at the cracked bell (yes, it's defective) as Wobbuffet looks on from afar before turning around to salute the TV viewers saying, "Woooooooobbbuuhhffet", joyfully with the famous Liberty Bell in the backdrop.

Meanwhile, Team Rocket is still scouring the skyline for Wobbuffet and its backpack pokemon. "Any sign of that blabby blue blob, James??", asks Jessie sounding very annoyed. "Nothing", sighs James sadly. "Ahhhh... dat ting could be dangling from da top of da tallest buildin' around here", states Meowth. "Meowth, don't say that.... knowing our luck, that's probably what may end up happening...", replies James before he spots a bunch of police sirens. "Huh?", huh's TR as they spot the flashing lights in the middle of the city.

"I wonder what all da commotion goin' on down dere is about...", wonders Meowth. "Hmmm... it.... it may have something to do with Wobbuffet", Jessie says getting urgent, "James, let's get there and see what its about." "Aye aye...", responds James as the happy buddha-faced Wobbuffet balloon floats on with the skyline in the backdrop.

As they're closing in on the scene, the two crooks escape the cops by running into the building that Wobbuffet wobbled off into. "What's with that finish line around the entrance??", wonders the white gangsta. "I don't know man..... is that the Liberty Bell?!?", asks the other guy. "The Liberty Bell??! Then that means...", ponders the white gangsta before they both shout, "We be in Independence Hall??" "Ah man... I can't take much more of this day...", comments the black guy. "They went into the building... don't let them get away", shouts Officer Jenny leading her troopers into the building.

"Daaaahh, what do we do??", asks the white gangsta. Then the black dude spots an unguarded stairwell for them to go up to. So as they head up the stairs to evade the police, some guy outside the building is announcing to a bunch of cheering supporters that the Philadelphia 5K cancer race for the cure runners are nearing the finish line and we should have them coming any minute now. During this, Wobbuffet looks out the window into the sky and visualizes Team Rocket sailing majestically through the sky. "Wooooooooobbuuuhhffet", says Wobbuffet approvingly so he decides to head upstairs to find his partners.

Moving right along to the threesome, they're having no luck finding anyone that's found or seen Wobbuffet, TR, or their pokemon loverats. "Oh man.... no one's seen any sign of TR or Wobbuffet", sighs Misty as they're standing at the counter of a center city diner. "Who knows where they could be by now?", figures Justin. Crystal then decides to ask the waitress serving them each coffees as they proceed with their half-assed search for their pokemon. The waitress says she's not seen any of the people or pokemon that they were looking for.

"This is about as hopeless as I've ever gotten with going after Team Rocket", mutters Crystal looking depressed and in need of a stimulant. But just before she's about to go on a prozac binge, something on the diner's TV catches their attention. "Channel 3 news is live at the scene at Independence Hall where a dramatic situation is unfolding", announces the Italian male newsperson, "Two carjackers have been surrounded to the roof of this historic building. They have taken three pokemon hostage as you can see from the view in Chopper 3. Further complicating the matter is the fact that this is where the Philadelphia cancer 5K race for the cure is finishing and the racers are due to make it here any moment now.

The chopper view zooms in to reveal the two surrounding gangstas threatening harm to Wobbuffet, Pikachu, and Sandshrew. "Aaahhh! That's Sandshrew and Pikachu!", gasps Cris-tal. "And Wobbuffet too", adds Justin. "How do we know

which way Independence Hall is from here??", asks Crystal. "Guys, look!", points out Misty seeing that the cancer runners are running by on the street outside the diner where they're loading up on caffeine. "It's those runners from earlier", points out Justin as Crystal figures out that if they follow them, it can take us right to them.

So out they run alongside the cancer runners looking like they're in the damn race. Their frantic pace allows them to outrun a plethora of joggers as spectators on the sidewalk point them out amazed by their running. So they hustle their

asses past the finish line and into the building. The race announcer then yells, "Let's congratulate everyone on their great effort running for a noble cause.”

So the crowd outside, which is wary of the hostage drama unfolding just above them yet undeterred, starts to cheer for the runners including our threesome whom acknowledges their cheers. They all give lame thank you's and compliments to the cheering crowds as Crystal then nervously laughs that they have to keep going as the cheers continue for all the runners crossing the finish line. They stop for a moment as Crystal notices the Liberty Bell. Justin acknowledges that the Liberty Bell is the most famous landmark in this city.

Officer Jenny warns them about the dangerous scenario going on top of the roof of patriotic, historic, and so on with the American connotations... landmark. "Yes, we know Officer Jenny. Those are my pokemon!", says Crystal, "I have to get up there to save them." "Are you sure?" questions a suspicious Officer Jenny as Cris-tal assures her that she has pokemon to take care of herself and that she's only wanting to go up there to get back her pokemon. So Officer Jenny jeopardizes the hostage situation by letting these untrained kids go up to the roof to talk with the psychopaths that would threaten to hurt our beloved patiently pleased hero.

The black gangsta then tells the other that they better get their escape helicopter soon cuz he ain't lyin' around much longer. "Hey", interrupts Cris-tal as the gangsta turn as the white guy nervously asks, "Whatcha doin up here, yo." Crystal states that she wants her poke-couple back. "I don't think so, fo... we ain't lettin' go of them for nothin'", states the black gangsta. "Woooooobbuuhh wooooobb", observes Wobbuffet looking on from behind the two crooks. "We have to find a way to have them release our pokemon before Team Rocket gets here", Crystal tells her posse. But a voice from the sky responds, "Time's up, twerps!" "Oh no", states Misty as everyone looks up at the happy buddha-faced Wobbuffet balloon while the crooks ask TR who the f*ck they are.

"Prepare for trouble for you small time crooks"

"Make it double cuz its time for us to work", they state as their sexy backsides face the scene.

"To protect the world from devastation"

"To unite all peoples within our nation"

"To denounce the evils of truth and love"

"To extend our reach to skyscrapers above" (a little variation from James... always nice)

"Jessie", turning around

"James", ditto

"We're Team Rocket blasting off at the speed of light"

"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight"

"Meeeeeeeowth, that's riiiiight!", finishes Meowth leaping up standing on the edge of the basket.

"WOOOOOOOOOOBBBUUUHHFFET!", proclaims Wobbuffet overjoyed to see its adored master. "We're ain't scared of a bunch of punks from Team Rocket", proclaims the white gangsta. "Being scared isn't the question", retorts James who CLEARLY sounds turned on..... gangsta lovin' anyone. "We're here to show you insignificant lawbreaker what real evil and crime looks like. And since Wobbuffet's all mine, any attempts to hurt it will just be countered back in your faces... so I suggest you hand it over to us", announces Jessie.

The gangsta grrr before the black one proclaims that they ain't afraid to battle them with pokemon as he then brings out his Granbull to fight. "Grrraanbull", roars the ghetto fabulous looking Granbull with chains around its neck. "We

ain't gonna play by the rules today..... just watch. Granbull... take down that Wobbuffet!", shouts the black trainer. But Jessie is undeterred throwing out Arbok to wrap around Granbull blinding and choking it just before it can hurt our patiently pleased blue hero.

Hooray for Arbok!

But Granbull breaks free and bites Arbok, swinging the much pained cobra pokemon by the tail before flinging him nearly off the roof right next to Wobbuffet. "Outrageous!", protests Jessie. "Dose poor pokemon is right near da ledge... if dey get bumped over, we may never see dem again", notes Meowth making Jessie gasp nervously at the thought of losing two-thirds of her charismatic, joy-inducing pokemon (Dunsparce is the other). The gangsta then has Granbull tackle them off the ledge, thug style.

"You can't do that... they'll fall all the way to the concrete outside!", gasps Misty as the laws of physics are conveniently being taken into account for TR in this particular scene. So TR looks horrified as Granbull charges for Arbok and Wobbuffet until Jessie snaps back into it and has Wobbuffet counter. So Wobbuffet readies itself and then sliding in front of Arbok to deflect the Granbull back to the gangsta clocking them and knocking them off the roof of

Independence Hall with their legs comically wiggling as they fall. "Wow... what an impressive counter attack", observes Justin. "Indeed", adds Misty.

Officer Jenny and local firemen are ready with the conveniently placed trampoline to catch all three of them right in the middle. Then Jenny directs traffic and has all her officers restrain the suspects triggering smokeclouds of

action hiding the humorous police brutality going on as the bruthas are about to serve a hard-knock life in jail for the next 25 years.

Provided of course that Officer Jenny doesn't screw up or suffer a brain hemorrhage this time which is a very real possibility.

With the actual bad guys out of the way, Crystal then runs towards Wobbuffet to get Pikachu and Sandshrew out of the energy depleting backpacks. But to her horror, Team Rocket uses a cable rope which lassos right around Arbok and Wobbuffet, who's still saluting its soulful heart out as it's being taken up, and then James and Meowth pull them up towards the basket. "HEY!", shouts Crystal as TR laughs that they should have done a little more to get to Wobbuffet first and maybe they wouldn't have lost.

Truuuuuue..... truuuuuuue....

"But now we won da race en now we're takin our prize", states Meowth as they continue to raise their pokemon towards the basket. "I don't think so", declares Crystal who then brings out the perfect pokemon for a city so punishing yet supposedly friendly for rival sports fans.... the surly one, Bulbasaur. "Bulbasaaauuur", yells Bulbasaur as it then uses a razor leaf that Crystal yells it to use. The attack severs the metal cord bringing up all the pokemon as they then fall down back towards the roof.

Justin compliments Bulbasaur's accuracy as Crystal has it use razor leaf again to slice up the backpack freeing Sandshrew and Pikachu, which it does with precise accuracy. Sandshrew and Pikachu fall from the backpack to TR's anxiety

as Crystal races to try and get them as they now finally begin to recover but they still haven't woken up yet from their beauty sleep. TR sees Crystal try to get her pokemon as Meowth panics that they're gonna get their pokemon back. So Jessie yells at Arbok to stop Crystal. So we see it zooming in on Crystal as we do and just before we get an extreme close-up, Crystal has Bulbasaur stop Arbok with a tackle attack.

Jessie then has Arbok use its headbutt which Bulbasaur avoids before binding it with its vine whip. Bulbasaur uses its vines to throw Arbok back into the basket clunking TR. "Ohhhh... we can't lose those pokemon, yet! Wobbuffet... BATTLE!", commands Jessie. "Woooooobbbuuuhhffet!", obeys Wobbuffet as Bulbasaur then tries to tackle the bubbly blue one. But Wobbuffet easily counters all the surly aggression that Bulbasaur brings sending it tumbling back away.

"Wobbuffet's counter is very strong. A regular attack is not going to work against it", notes Justin. "Then Bulbasaur will have to let it all out.... use solar beam, Bulbasaur!", commands Crystal. Bulbasaur then yells, "Bulbasaur!", as it charges its bulb near the middle of the roof. "Ah?! Wobbuffet may not be able to handle a solar beam! We need to do something while it's charging", utters Jessie. "Right",

agrees James who then sends out Victreebel who comes out munching on the sexy gay bitch.

It screams as it locks its mouth around James (please not now.... this story's gone on long enough as it is) and after James pleads for his life making weird sounds, he then dramatically tells Victreebel to attack Bulbasaur. Crystal then warns Bulbasaur about Victreebel as Bulbasaur struggles to move away. But it doesn't matter because Pikachu comes to the rescue now that the two lovestruck pokemon are awake again. "Pikachuuuu!", shouts Crystal joyfully as she reunites with the electric rat type. "Pikaaa!", exclaims Pikachu as Sandshrew also comes to be petted and welcomed back by Crystal. "You guys are alright", sighs Crystal giving them a special petting. "Thankfully it doesn't seem like Team Rocket's contraption did any damage to Sandshrew or Pikachu", observes Justin looking at the healthy duo. "Thank goodness!", adds Misty.

<cue commercial> "Who's that pokemon??" (This horny pokemon will shield the sexay Justin from anybody..... even James... for a loooong time!)

It's Misdreavus ................. "Mis-dree-vuuuss!!"

So Crystal then directs Sandshrew to use sandstorm which it unleashes on first Victreebel and then TR in their happy Buddha-faced Wobbuffet balloon. TR screams in agony as they crash down onto the roof of Independence Hall. James proclaims that their cracked bell has been rung alluding to the nearby Liberty Bell.

But TR has more pain and suffering coming their way as Bulbasaur's solar beam has fully charged. So Crystal has Bulbasaur let it rip with all its pent up rage for not appearing for several episodes. "Bulbaa!!!!", grunts Bulbasaur as TR panics about the solar beam. Jessie then alerts Wobbuffet who then stands in front of TR valiantly defending them wanting to be the hero. As Wobbuffet stands firmly in front of it, Bulbasaur releases its solar beam making Wobbuffet counter with its red aura.

This creates a deadlock making the solar energy stop at Wobbuffet temporarily making everyone look on in anxiety. "Bulbasaur!", shouts Bulbasaur knowing that being in a city like this requires a little extra adrenaline so it turns that up a notch to push the solar beam forward. "Wooooo-ooooo-OOOOOOBBBUUUHH!", shouts Wobbuffet who struggles for a second until it gets blown back by Bulbasaur's solar beam along with TR who then goes for a ride.

"We're blasting off agaaaain!" "Wooooooobbuuhh wobbuuuh!"

In the end, Wobbuffet fought bravely and heroically, but Bulbasaur was just much more fresh whereas Wobbuffet fought us crooks and cheesesteak mobs. It also didn't help that the surliness (aka 'brotherly love') of this city fit Bulbasaur

perfectly so that it could that vibe from the area. But Wobbuffet is still a hero in my book cuz it did after all, save the day like you'd expect.

The twerps celebrate for about a second before collapsing in exhaustion after another wild Wobbuffet chase. .....too much weed... stunting their respiratory systems. "Wow! I gotta tell you, with climbing onto trains, surviving a speeding

boat coming right at you, and running in a marathon, we had one of our biggest adventures ever today", notes Justin before pussying out and begging Crystal, "Cris... Misty.... I hope we never do that again!" "Me either... but hey, Sandshrew and Pikachu had the biggest adventure of any of us.... and they were asleep for the whole thing!", points out Crystal.

So Sandshrew cries out contently as now the twerps will soon be ready to leave the city of brotherly love, the kind of love where your older brother kicks your ass for playing his Mortal Kombat game, the kind of love that pokemon like Bulbasaur has, the kind of tough love that James would get shown in jail..... you get the idea. But soon the twerps will be in New York since that seems to be the next major city on their roadway. This provided that no crappy baseball teams in need of their motivational abilities comes along in New Jersey...

But it looks like our heroic TR isn't going anywhere as they're slipping slowly off the slanted roof of a skyscraper later on that night. But while J, J & M along with Arbok and Victreebel are hangin' around, our heroic Wobbuffet is perched in a position where he belongs...... on top. This is possible thanks to Wobbuffet standing in a groove where the roof is flat. "Aaaaaahhh! We're gonna fall if we don't do somehthing", panics Jessie. "Aaaaaaaaaaaagh!", screams the slipping Victreebel.

"I don't wanna be deep sixed OR deep 76'd", quips James alluding to the local pro b-ball team, the 76ers. "Wooooooooobbuuhhffet", agrees Wobbuffet who would like to save them but his arms are just too flabby. After all, he makes mistakes, he's just a Wobb. "ERRRRR!!! You're the reason we're in all this mess!!", shouts Jessie. "You're da one that wobbed up ruinin' our plans tuhday", adds Meowth. "You're on your last strike mister!", then says James, the angry gay man as Wobbuffet looks on at its companions slipping...... slipping....... slipping.....

And poor Wobbo can't help his poor unfortunate TR teammates but he can give them a smile, a patient salute, and a cheerfully echoing cry into the Philadelphia skyline.....

"Woooooobbbuuuhh woooooooobbbuuuuhhffeet!"

<sniff> I absolutely agree.... you proud blue soldier.