Dragonitemare presents

Pokemon Crystal series

Ep. 56

Start spreading the news...... and so on with the New York puns... cuz our crew has landed in New York after wandering through America for several episodes. And we see all different sights of New York like Times Square, South St. seaport, Central Park, Javitz convention center, and so on until we get our twerps converging on a street corner in midtown Manhattan where they talk about how much fun they've had exploring the city. "This is great.... I really enjoyed Rockefeller center", claims Misty. Justin really enjoyed the Central Park events adding that they have so many leagues for basically every kind of sport. "Mis-dreeevus", interrupts Misdreavus coming out of her pokeball as Justin quips he had fun even though he had the lustful ghost pokemon in his way.

And all this walking through the canyons of Manhattan has made Crystal rather hungry as does Sandshrew and big-gutted Pikachu obviously. "I could really use some burritos", she then adds being the avid burrito fan like so many stereotyped potheads. "I'd like to eat at that cafe at the zoo in central park.... that way, we could check out the rare pokemon they have there.... especially all the water pokemon", comments Misty as she gets extra gushy mentioning all the coot water pokemon.

Justin wants to find somewhere outside where they could eat while watching New Yorkers go about their everyday lives (in other words.... go crazy) and enjoy the sun. "Sanshrrew shrew shrew shrrreww... saaaashrew", proposes Sandshrew standing close to his Pikachu "I have an idea that'll make everyone completely satisfied", claims Crystal making them all excited and wanting to be..... satisfied. She then proposes that they go to the Pokemon Center. "The Pokemon Center?", wonders Misty, "What could we eat at the Pokemon Center?" Justin then adds this particularly dodgy statement suitable for a possible conservative protest, "I'm not sure Misty... and I highly doubt that there'll be any pokemon or Nurse Joys to eat."

Y'know.... I could go for a Nurse Joy right now....

"You've guys never heard of the Midtown Manhattan Pokemon Center??", wonders Cris-tal as the others reply that they haven't. So Crystal goes on about all the goodies of the place claiming it's one of the largest and most beautifully designed Pokemon Centers in the world with 10 stories, a museum, a pokemon retail outlet, battle areas where they have official pokemon battles, a restaurant where they can go eat, and of course, a vacuous Nurse Joy as Crystal tells Justin specifically. "Wow... they even make their Pokemon Centers bigger in New York!", quips Misty.

"Well it doesn't matter what's in it, as long it's got Nurse Joy and something good to eat, we're there!", proclaims Justin. Then Crystal comments that once they eat and get their pokemon revitalized, they can then head up to Columbia University where they can get that erotic pokemon tracking device from Prof. Pine and bring it back to Prof. Oak. "Pikachu", comments Pikachu reacting to the first class pampering and feeding the star pokemon would usually receive if it were real and well-paid. "Let's head back to the subway!", proposes Misty as Cris-tal leads the way with the other twerps following and Sandshrew hustling behind them below the street surface.

<cue intro>

We then come to another area of the city which turns out to be Times Square, where mostly undeserving TV stars get to shine and be on the air. And walking along Broadway in front of the theatre where they have Les Miserable is a pink puffball that can have a whale of a time singing the air out of its inflated body. Yes.... it's Jigglypuff vs. the city that never sleeps....... something's got to give! Jigglypuff walks out echoing, "Jiggly..... jigglypuff!", when it comes out to the Times Square intersection. With all the passing cars, pedestrians that include tourists, stressed workers, socialites, and street bums, it seems like the ideal spot for Jigglypuff to stand in front of the huge Cup 'o Noodle soup with smoke rising out of it to sing her song to everybody putting Midtown Manhattan into slumberland.

"Jigglypuuuuufff!", squeals Jigglypuff excitedly as she opens up her mouth to sing. But instead of hearing her song, we hear car horns beeping aggressive as well as locals and stressed out business professionals screaming at each other.... all the noise drowning out Jigglypuff's song. So after a few seconds, Jigglypuff stops singing realizing that she can't outdo all the traffic and arguing so it makes her inflate into anger. Thus, she decides to take out her frustrations on part of the problem which happens to be a group of people arguing at each other.

"You be quiet!! You almost caused an accident when you cut me off to take MY parking spot!", argues the one dressed up guy sounding like a native New Yorker. "Aw yeah.... well I have enough problems just tryin' to commute intuh New Yorrrk with all dese confusin' new traffic laws they have set out", argues this other guy in a t-shirt sounding like deeper voiced Meowth. "How can you call that an excuse??", argues a friend of the business professional as they continue to bicker back and forth until Jigglypuff unceremoniously interrupts them shouting, "Jigglyyyyyypuff! Jigglypuff jiggly-puff!" "What's yau problem?", wonders the one guy as another orders Jigglypuff to stick its nose elsewhere.

But the animators don't draw a nose for Jigglypuff so she refuses to leave. Thus, one of the working thugs makes the dreadful mistake of kicking Jigglypuff's microphone out of her hand making her desperately rush into oncoming traffic to snatch it from getting run over which she is luckily able to do. So the arguing thugs, thinking Jigglypuff is taken care of as roadkill, resume arguing at each other when Jigglypuff returns from from running into traffic on 7th Ave. to save her microphone. She inflates her body, turns her cheeks red with anger and then.......

WHAP!!!

Jigglypuff begins laying the smackdown left and right on everyone involved in the argument whether they're at fault or not. She tackles each sorry thug and repeatedly smacks them back and forth over and over. Those lucky to escape the wrath of the round pink thing start running in circles screaming for help. Jigglypuff then zeroes in on the sucka who kicked her microphone and then begins winding up for a rollout on the poor sucka. She then lets loose smashing him sending him straight down hard into the concrete. "Jigglypuff!", states Jigglypuff still looking pissed as she goes back to smack around the microphone kicker a little more.

But while Jigglypuff is unleashing all hell on the poor New Yorkers that stand in her quest of singing her song of death in New York, another figure of doom is also on a quest of evil in New York City as ominous bass music then starts playing. "Sir.... the boss is reeady to speak to you!", a Team Rocket grunt tells a mysterious shadowy figure. So Mystery Shadow walks into the projection television room in their secret hideaway where no, not Osama bin Laden, but the TR boss Giovanni himself appears to address this so far secret character. "Sir.... I understand you have a special request for me", says the man in the shadows. "Yes I do..... it has come to my attention that there has been a couple of mysterious bird-like creatures that have been swimming around the Manhattan area. I have reason to believe that this creature may be the legendary bird of the seas.... the mighty LUGIA and its offspring", Giovanni tells him in his darker, more evil tone of voice as he strokes his pu.... (GETCHA MIND OUTTA DA GUTTA!!) ........ um, Persian I should say.

He then adds that there was already an effort that was headed by Prof. Namba, Butch and Cassidy to try to catch them around the Whirl Islands but that it failed due to (Jessie and James) incompetence and some meddling pokemon trainers. He also tells them he has assembled a large unit of his minions to launch an attack on these pokemon to capture them with the base of their Lugia-netting operations being somewhere along the East River near the Brooklyn Bridge. Giovanni also remembers how this guy betrayed him the last time by doing his dirty deeds on his own shortchanging him and he expects full cooperation this time adding that he cannot fail!

"Yes sir", responds the shadowy dude to Giovanni who then gives him additional information that he understands that there's a group of meddling pokemon trainers similar to the one that ruined Prof. Namba's plans which includes a TR traitor (Justin) that'll do anything to disrupt his plans. Gio tells him that he cannot allow them to disrupt this operation. "Agreed... they won't get by me!", declares the guy. "Good!", answers Giovanni telling the guy that his troops are waiting for him to address them and that he should go to address them and get started on their mission being that that guy..... owes him! He agrees and then Giovanni cuts the signal to the guy and so he concludes, "Hmmm... now with this mission, I..... will be the most respected member of Team Rocket.... and those legendary pokemon.... they'll soon be mine!" The shadowy villain then clenches his fist as the ominous music reaches its climax to signify that trouble is on its way.

Trouble is a good segue to go to our favorite group of villain, or in their case anti-heroes, our TR! And they certainly acting like OUR TR in the Big Apple. "Look at all those stores", says James looking out from about a 7 story view to all the designer Versace retailer and expensive clothiers, "Look at all the fun..... look at all the excitement.... and we're stuck here wearing these atrocious uniforms!" James sums up his sadness as it's revealed that they are back to wearing those 'uncool' black TR uniforms along with a convention of other TR grunts and enemies.

"You think that's atrocious, I won't want to know what we may have to wear if the boss's scheme doesn't succeed so just shut up and cooperate!", yells Jessie with Meowth standing next to him looking very cat-burglar like. "Oh God.... even if we'd have to wear..... dare I say..... POLYESTER?!?", squeals a horrified James. Jessie squirms uncomfortably at that notion as well before telling him, "Just cooperate so that will never have to happen!!" "Buhsides.... we'll have all da time in da woild tuh go winin, dinin', shoppin', clubbin', en capturin' dat twoips two precious pokemon...", begins Meowth before a familiar face goes out to address the TR followers making TR drop their jaws in shock as they look up to see who it is.

Why.... it's the dope-tradin' criminal himself.... Blair!!!

Yes, you may remember this little red-headed baddie from dope trading scheme in the Goldeen episode which was so illegal, that Cris-tal and others staunchly declared it very illegal even though it was already illegal in the first place. He's no longer got a roly poly assistant with him or a Sunflora dope processing plant to profit from that's gotten him in trouble with Giovanni, but he is back and has dozens of Team Rocket employees, including Jessie and James, at his disposal. "It's that red-head from the Sunflora place!", points out Jessie as James boils up with anger claiming that he really doesn't like the guy.

I guess James isn't quite so partial to redheads.

He then has his crew listen up explaining much of what Giovanni said about a creature thought to be Lugia and its kid swimming around Manhattan. He then explains that they have a base for a trap set up along the East River and that he expects that they complete their tasks successfully since they won't be allowed to fail (since Giovanni refuses to let him fail). He goes on to say that they will leave as soon as night falls so they don't attract attention. They'll set their trap once night falls and then they'll all get the handsome reward they deserve from the boss.... especially Blair.

"Who's with me?!?", shouts Blair as all the grunts shout, "Yeeeeeaaaaaahhhh!", including Jessie and James reluctantly. "Woooooooobbuuuhh wooooobb", agrees Wobbuffet as we hear him faintly while looking at Blair watching the mob. "Get back in your pokebaaalll!", we hear Jessie shout faintly. So now it's up to Blair to lead this evil mission to catch these rare pokemon which most certainly have to be the Lugias since it looks like them from the images and because everyone talks about it being them. And Blair has to rely on bad luck Joes like our anti-heroes and make sure they don't screw up or else he be screwed with the boss.

Now we go back to the twerps who have just come out of the subway train headed for the big fancy Pokemon Center. "Okay... now how far is it until we get to the Pokemon Center?", wonders Misty as Crystal tells the silly redhead that they're already there adding that the Pokemon Center also has a direct subway connection. "Wow... they really thought of everything when constructing this place....... Ahhhh", says Justin who then gasps along with the rest of the twerps at the architecture and extra large pokeball and pokemon images. "This place is even better than I imagined", gasps Misty as they all feast their eyes on the beauty of the lobby.

"Pika-chuuuuu", slurs Pikachu looking around at the massive lobby that is dwarfing the threesome and their pokemon. Crystal then asks them what they should do first and before she can even finish, Justin and Misty propose that they go eat as does Sandshrew. So Cris-tal agrees that they will but first tells them they have to check in their pokemon to Nurse Joy for treatment. So after they wait in a pretty long line in another room on the first floor that Justin realizes is long, they get to Nurse Joy who does sound like a true stereotypical New Yorker.

"Hello everyone, checking in some pokemon? You have a very nice looking Sandshrew and Pikachu!", blurts out Nurse Joy with her accent kind of intimidating the threesome a little bit. "Don't be intimidated... it's just my New York accent I guess. My family's been in this city for 6 generations", she tells them indicating that pokemon nurses have also existed for that long. She then asks them for their pokemon and they give them all their pokeballs as well as Sandshrew and Pikachu. They all get loaded onto carts being pushed by Chanseys and Blisseys as they seem to be working very hard treating all the injured pokemon while Nurse Joy smiles at all the customers and that's about it.

Justin then suggests that there are so many more Chanseys and Blisseys working here since so many people come to have their pokemon treated there as he looks at Nurse Joy with a sexy look on his face. Nurse Joy agrees as Justin adds that despite all the Chanseys and Blisseys they have, he laughs that there's only one Nurse Joy as Misty looks on with a peeved look on her face. "..... uuhhhh....... here", finishes Justin realizing that there's only bzillions of Nurse Joys.

At that moment, a middle-aged man in a white lab coat comes out of the treatment facility in a little bit of a rush claiming that he studied the Skarmory she had in her care and stating that it's ansy behavior was caused by a pokemon buddy it was recently separated by and advises that it just needs some time and consoling and that it should be fine. "Thank you, Professor Pine", Nurse Joy says to identify him as if you didn't figure it out, yet, with the dead giveaway of the white lab coat..... right?? "PROFESSOR PINE??!", gasps the threesome amazed to be meeting him earlier than expected.

"Y-yes that's me", he tells the dumbfounded trio as Crystal tells him they're come to see him. Prof. Pine tries to hold them up claiming that he's a little bit busy with his work at the Pokemon Center. And he continues to rush off until Misty tells him that they were sent by the magic Johnson himself, Prof. Oak, to get that device from him. "Huh? Really? So you're Professor Oak's accomplices... why didn't you mention that earlier?", wonders Prof. Pine telling the kids that he has the naughty pokemon device that Prof. Oak seeks and that he's willing to sit down and tell them everything they need to know.

"We'd love to except.....", starts Crystal as Prof. Pine wonders, "Except what??" "Could we talk at the restaurant?!?", she begs as Justin declares that they're absolutely starving. Misty then anxiously asks where the Pokemon Center restaurant is and Nurse Joy tells them that it's on the 8th floor getting her a quick thanks from the threesome. So upstairs, the threesome is devouring their food and milkshakes like a fat bitch who hasn't eaten in over 1 grueling hour. Thus, they're eating really fast....

Prof. Pine then asks them for a little bit about themselves. So Crystal tells him that she's Crystal and worked as a hospital volunteer who's now a Kanto League trainer after a young lad crippled himself physically in a bus accident. She goes on to describe Ash as being a fine pokemon that she was able to save and thus, they became friends. And later on because he wasn't fit enough to do any training for quite a while, he entrusted his pokemon to her so she could fulfill her dream of being a pokemon trainer and she ended up competing in the Kanto League.

"The Kanto League..... that's a really difficult league, very rarely do trainer ever conquer it. But I can tell by your four golden badges on your knapsack that you're doing okay so far. <turns to Justin and Misty> What about you two? What's your stories?", Prof. Pine tells them. Justin goes first saying that they're traveling with Cris-tal as their coaches not willing to go into anymore detail about that. Justin then states that he's also traveling with them to look at some various different universities since he's going to enter school pretty soon though at this rate it's going to take aeons like the Johto League did. Misty then tells him that she also became very good friends with Crystal when Ash got hurt and she saved her alleged squeeze.

Professor Pine then tells them a little bit about himself boasting that he's the head poke-ology professor at nearby Columbia University adding that he does research at the school and also right at the Manhattan Pokemon Center. He also claims that he's recently been able to design a state-of-the-art device that can track virtually all the vital signs of any pokemon. He then reaches for his tote bag and brings out of it that weird looking device with a digital measurement view as well as many things to check out every last section of a pokemon... some of the pieces looking phallic. He goes on to say that it includes a scale (which Cris-tal can weigh her stash with), a thermometer, an adjustable band to measure blood pressure, as well as many pointy things to examine various orifices of each pokemon.

And you wondered why Prof. Oak was so desperate to send Crystal to New York?!?

Cris-tal is indeed impressed by this device stating that if she had a device like this for her 'hospital volunteer work', it would have been indeed useful to her. Prof. Pine then asks them about their journey to New York wondering how it's been going and Justin looks up from stuffing his face with lunch to claim it's been going wonderfully for them as they've starred in hockey and baseball games, scaled a mountain to witness the mighty and pointy Zapdos, not to mention repeatedly torture poor ol' TR who's just been trying to do its job with the utmost eloquence. Misty then adds that she's just absolutely loved New York so far not visiting any of the ghettos or walked through any dank dark alleys like they did nervously in the last episode. Misty and the others then resume enjoying the view of the city as night begins to fall.

And with night falling, it shows that TR is arriving on the scene ready to spring their big trap for this big time pokemon which everyone is calling Lugia and its child. Blair is directing the whole thing telling all the subordinates to move these materials here and build those devices there. Meanwhile, while Blair is scheming..... James is steaming!!! "I'm really not feeling that good about having to do the dirty work for that no good Team Rocket thug!", declares James in his black TR attire. "Be quiet, James, and help us lift these metal beams!", shouts Jessie trying to keep from getting them caught. "Yeeaah... dese beams don't lift demselves ya know!", shouts Meowth.

But James then declares that while he'll decide to help them, he won't do it in those awfully unfashionable black grunt uniforms. Because, they're so much more than just grunts he claims, they're the artistic and creative souls that continuously innovate TR. Hell yeah, James, don't give TR any slack.... show them your true colors....... mainly pink!!! Jessie and Meowth look at each other and shrug as if to say 'oh well', and then take off the 'uncool' uniforms and resume wearing their traditonal white TR outfits. Thus, they continue to work for awhile but it isn't too long before Blair recognizes them standing out in there white uniforms. "What do you think you guys are doing?? Don't you know that you could get us caught wearing those bright white costumes?!", scowls Blair.

"We think we're helping to give the Big Apple trouble"
"We're not your average drones, Blair, so go and make that double", as James looks at him with the NYC skyline in the backdrop.
"To protect the world from devastation"
"To unite all peoples within our nation"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love"
"To extend our reach to the stars above"
"Jessie"
"James"
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light"
"Surrender now, Blair, or prepare to fight"
"Meeeeeowth, that's right!"

"It's you three. I remember you... you're all a disgrace to TR", Blair decrees. "Hmmph", snorts James quite eager to reply to him, "I don't care what you think of us, we're not about to be humbled like some truly disgraceful crook. But Blair threatens him telling TR that the boss put him in charge of this mission and if they don't obey his every orders, then it just may be the biggest trouble they may ever have to prepare for alluding to their own motto. Therefore, TR gulps as Meowth whispers to J & J that if they don't obey 'Little Red's' every command, they might wave goodbye to their boss's incentive of a 5th Ave. shopping spree. Not willing to give up a chance for exquisite designer shopping, James, as well as Jessie, resumes constructing what I'm sure will be just some elaborate net....

..... just like all that elaborate equipment that J & J use just to build ditches.

Back to the mega-Pokemon Center, where Prof. Pine and the threesome are now in communique with the other naughty professor, and if you didn't know it was Oakky, then that means you go by the name of Ash Ketchum. "Hey Professor Oak", Cris-tal shouts in a friendly tone to her new favorite supplier. Oakky greets her and then he tells her that judging by the background scenery, he can tell that they made it to New York, finally. It must be familiar with all the dates he's taken her on with Ash's mom.

Cris-tal then tells him that they've been through the wildest adventures, from the edge of the ocean to the heights of the mountains and city buildings. "My, that sounds like quite a trip that you've been on", reacts Old Man Oak as the younger feistier presence of Totodile takes the place of Prof. Oak on the monitor. "Toto-toto..... totototodile!", states Totodile dancing for Crystal in the videophone to try and have her take him back and away from the horrors of Prof. Oak's lab of freakiness.

Crystal greets Totodile asking how it's been and Totodile dances around happily as if to suggest that dancing away from that sick old freak has given him some exercise and has thus, made him healthier. Crystal then asks Old Man Oak, "Have you learned a lot out of Totodile?" The Professor replies, "Oh I sure have.... but's he's full of so much energy that it's just so hard to track him down and keep tabs on him. That alone gets me winded at my old age."

Well......... does it now, Samuel?? Does it really?!?!?

He goes on to make up that Totodile is so insanely powerful that he recommends that she take him back so that she can use him for her important upcoming battles. This despite the fact that it doesn't seem like she's near the next Kanto League gym. Thus, Cris-tal agrees to take back the wily gator-type pokemon as she declares that she'll send him back Tauros. She then speaks to it through her pokeball uttering, "You did a great job, Tauros", as she sends back the pokemon she used to catch a speeding train with among other things.

After they complete the pokemon trade, Professor Oak then wonders if they retrieved his special little device from Prof. Pine. Thus, Prof. Pine shows his face to the videophone as the two exchange pleasantries and the usual Professor Oak enjoy Pine's column on some scientific pokemon topic. "Yes, that was a while ago. But I guess it's been some time now, eh Samuel?", Prof. Pine tells him adding, "But look at you now, you're the most respected poke-ologist in the world." Professor Oak then chuckles in embarassment before expressing that he can't wait to obtain his newfangled device..... so he can experiment with it on Delia and what other pokemon he feels like abusing.

Having that taken care of, Prof. Oak then asks Cris-tal and her crew if they're going to start heading back for Pallet Town now and Prof. Pine answers for them saying that they're probably going to stay for the fireworks celebration later on. So having that said for the twerps, they say goodbye and Prof. Oak goes offline. "Huh??", huh the threesome as Misty asks Prof. Pine about the fireworks celebration. "Every year around this time, our school (Columbia U.) hosts a fireworks special over the East River", explains Prof. Pine as Justin realizes that they got here by traveling under the East River. But Prof. Pine corrects him explaining that they went under the Hudson River and that the East River is on the other side of Manhattan.

Crystal then says that it sounds cool but asks Prof. Pine why they'd specifically want to stay for it. The Pine-man replies, "Ooohh... I think there'll be something extra for you to feast your eyes on... especially for such young budding pokemon trainers." "Uuuuuhhhh iiiiiii'mmm not understandin' you", says Justin sounding confused. Thus, Prof. Pine illustrates, "According to recent water samples of the surrounding rivers and the oddly fluctuating current patterns, I have reason to believe that a rare and legendary pokemon is swimming around here somewhere.... I can even feel it in the air. Maybe with the glitz of the fireworks ceremony, I feel it may make an appearance."

"Really? Which pokemon?", wonders Crystal. "One of the rarest in the world!", Piney tells them dramatically, "The legendary one...... the god of the ocean.... LUGIA!" "LUGIA?!?!?", gasps the threesome collectively in an 'oh sh*t' type of moment.

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon??? (This pokemon can go Bruce Lee on yo' punk ass with it kung-fu bone weapon.)

It's Marowak!!! .............................................. "Mrrowakk!!!"

Screwing the latest Lugia saga for a moment, we go back to the Pokemon Center subway station where the twerps should be heading if they want to see the pwetty fireworks and the pwetty legendary pokemon swimmin 'round the isle that must be Lugia since all the signs are pointing to say that it is Lugia, right? But instead, we find that Jigglypuff is still on its mission of singing its unstoppable song of slumber in the city that's supposedly impossible to slumber. She makes her way down the flights of stairs and onto the subway platform where people from all different walks of life are trying to run their errands and wait for the subway train; including this one ridiculously obvious hippie guy playing a string instrument strapped to a pole.

Jigglypuff walks over to this hippie individual and greets him, "Jiggly!" "Ohh hey there ya little thing", replies the hippie dude. "Jiggly jiggly-puff puff", says Jigglypuff raising her mic. "Ohh... you wanna play along with me, don't cha?", figures out the hippie. "Jigglypuff!", confirms the talking pink balloon. "Well come on... I'll play along and you sing", suggests the subway hippie who's either unaware of or indifferent about the soporific powers of Jigglypuff's song. "Jiggly!", agrees Jigglypuff as the hippie dude begins to strum on his string as Jigglypuff goes, "Jiiiiiiiggllyyyypuuuufff jiggllyyyyyypuuufff....", and so on.

But again, the duo's tune is drowned out from the rest of the subway station because of the rumbling and whistling of the incoming subway train. "HUHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRR!", sounds the subway as it chugs along the tracks before stopping for the dozens of people waiting to get on. "JIGGLY!", exclaims an outraged Jigglypuff furious that the subway defeated her hopes of singing for the 2nd time. "Jigglypuff!", she squeals at the subway driver as her body puffs up. "What d'you want? You can't be up here! You gotta go in with the passengers!", snarls the angry conductor.

But Jigglypuff won't have any of it and tries to get in through the driver's window only to be caught and thrown out by the driver. "Oh no you don't", the Bill Cosby impressionist tells the pink puffball making it puff up even before it lays the smackdown on the subway driver pound him with her right stub of an arm. With the driver conked out in the train, Jigglypuff walks away angrily returning back up the stairs towards the surface.

On an unrelated subway line, Misty is questioning Prof. Pine whether or not he can really believe that Lugia will actually appear at these fireworks. "Well young lady, legend has it that whenever there's a grand fireworks celebration around this area. All different types of pokemon, even rare and legendary types have been known to show up to make the ceremony extra special. Even last 4th of July, the great Lugia made an appearance at the end of the show which dazzled and amazed all the spectators. Ohh what a sight that Lugia was, soaring majestically with the fireworks posing as the background. It was an unbelievable sight", details Pine-y as the scene shifts to a flashback with Lugia's appearance, "The water current's patterns are different from last time, but I'm sure that it has to be Lugia back to arrive when we have these fireworks."

"That makes sense", quips Justin as the threesome tries to keep awake during the ol' man's storytelling. "I don't believe it..... Lugia....", thinks Crystal to herself as Sandshrew tells her, "Shrew shrrreew." The subway driver then announces the next stop as Prof. Pine tells them that it's their stop and so they get off and head for the Brooklyn Bridge. And while they rise up to the surface level of Manhattan, we notice a flash of blue soaring across the screen along with a matching wolf-like shadow from a higher vantage point.

Oooohhhh.... spooky!!

Meanwhile, the TR cronies are continuing to work and that includes our very own Jessie and James. "This net is stupid.... that dumb meathead that the boss hired is gonna blow this one, big time!", groans Jessie silently so that Blair cannot hear her. "Uhhh... speakin' uh losin' big, here come da twoips!", alerts Meowth as J & J demand to know where they are. "Up dere!", states Meowth pointing to them walking onto the pedestrian part of the Brooklyn Bridge. "They're up on that bridge! If they spot us, the boss's master scheme will be destroyed before it's even unfurled", fears James. "Then stay quiet!", snaps Jessie smacking the blue-haired gay goofball, "it'll keep us out of the trouble we're preparing everyone for!"

"Sir..... the fireworks are expected to start in about 15 minutes", a TR informant tells Blair. "<gasp> 15 MINUTES?! Come on, you lazy oafs! You're moving slower than a Slugma!!", yells Blair making all the slowly working grunts (and J & J) go faster. "I won't have this mission fail for the boss.... IT CAN'T FAIL! I will catch you, LUGIA!!!", declares Blair as the tension filled climax draws nearer. Speaking of the twerps on the Brooklyn Bridge, Cris-tal and Pikachu can't believe that they're actually going to get to watch this from the Brooklyn Bridge as well as their amazement at the view.

Prof. Pine then tells them a little about the history of the Brooklyn Bridge citing the facts that it's over 100 years old and took 15 years to build. As Justin wows, he adds that since he's part of the personnel responsible for assembling the fireworks show, he and his fellow students and coordinators get to watch the fireworks from the bridge. And then he announces that they should be starting any moment now. Justin then announces that he personally cannot wait for all the humongous fireworks and then Misdreavus allows herself to come out and tagalong to see the fireworks as his 'date'. "Mis-dreeevuuus", says Misdreavus as Justin panics leaning away from the ghostly pokemon and uttering nervously that he wants to see the fireworks, too, as Misdreavus continues her attempts to smooch him. But then Cris-tal directs the threesome's divided attenion to the stage area on the Manhattan side as she sees something hopping up onto the guardrail.

No, it's not images of dancing skeletons that usually pervades Crystal's view during her acid trips, it's Jigglypuff as the threesome notices. "If Jigglypuff sings its song, we may not have a fireworks ceremony!", fears Cris-tal as Pikachu fears, "Pika-pikaaa" Jigglypuff tunes before lifting its microphone ready to sing..... but then the music of the fireworks ceremony drowns out Jigglypuff again as the first fireworks then launch to the delight of the crowd... the threesome included. The first burst sends Jigglypuff floating away as she cries, "Jigglyyyyyyyypuuuufff!", a la Team Rocket.

The fireworks display amazes everyone watching it, especially Sandshrew, Pikachu, and the ever horny Misdreavus. TR is amazed by them too as Jessie proclaims with eyes brightly lit up towards the sky, "Wow.... I've never seen fireworks this big and up this close before!!" "They truly are majestic...", declares James. "Ahhh... dat's why I love comin' tuh dis city so often", says Meowth softly. "Hey... we're not done yet!! Either get back to work or I'll show you some real fireworks!!", shouts Blair killing our heroes sense of amazement. TR looks him furiously, but they then resume working amidst the fireworks for fear of some ungodly punishment by big red himself, Blair.

So the fireworks display proceeds as the works get bigger and brighter until the big finale. Justin tells Prof. Pine that his associates did a great job in preparing the show. "Thank you, young man. Even I'm impressed at how well it has gone... though there haven't been any signs of Lugia, yet", answers Pine-y in a hail of booming fireworks. "You see anything in the water yet, Cris?", wonders Justin as Crystal claims that she sees nothing. "Here comes the big finale!", claims Prof. Pine as Crystal begins to say something until something catches her attention in the water making her go, "Huh?", making the others look on with her.

And what Cris-tal spots with her flower-sticker adorned binoculars is a miniature version of a bigger bird type pokemon with solid external skin sans feathers as the front of the body is mostly white with a red triangle on its face while the back is mostly red with small wings and what looks like four makeshift legs. There's also a blue triangle on its chest similar to Togetic. It's body is shaped like some contorted hour glass though its head is shaped similar even if it is a little bigger than Silver the baby Lugia. At last, the baby Lugia, Silver, must have arrived....... or wait... wasn't it blue.... but it still has to be that Lugia, right? Since everybody else, including me, has mentioned that it was probably Lugia. But it's really small, and it doesn't have any blue patterns on its body anywhere.....

So of course it's still the baby Lugia, right?

The mystery red and white pokemon jumps up out of the water and expands its skinny yet long wings as the toxic water that's littered with dead bodies glistes off of it in a radiance of beauty. It beams a bright smile at the crowd with the fireworks going on before it jumps back into the water. Then it swims around again for another big majestic jump.... this time, a backflip before going down into the water. "Ahhhh.... it's so beautiful!", gasps Misty in awe. "But I don't think that looks like Lugia....", observes Justin. "Then....", states Crystal before pausing in extreme anxiousness, "... what is it??", as she then tries to get Dexter's info on it.

Dexter: Pokemon, unknown......

"Unknown!!??", gasps Cris-tal who thinks she's really trippin'. "This could be a brand new, undiscovered pokemon. If I can get a better look at it, it may solve a lot of mysteries about this pokemon world", declares Prof. Pine. The mystery pokemon swims around happily as the fireworks spectacular comes to a conclusion. "My God, what kind of pokemon is that?", gasps Jessie as Blair also comments that while it may not be the Lugia that everyone was talking about, Blair concludes that it's probably ever rarer than Lugia and that he can't squander this opportunity. "Fire the trap!!", he shouts making Jessie, James, and the grunts activate a massive switch which launches a net that traps the red and white, unseen bird pokemon in a solid net made of material that's stronger than steel.

Obviously, this makes the twerps gasp in horror, Pikachu decrees, "Pikachuuu!", insisting to track down the scum behind this, Prof. Pine says they have to try and rescue it and blah blah blah....... "Strike", declares Jessie to indicate that they caught the thing according to plan. But 4Kids didn't have this James quote in its plans. He utters, "And I pulled on the big lever the hardest!! You did see that, right?", asking Jessie. Just keep in mind dodgers and non-dodgers alike.... it's supposed to be a show for kids....

Sure.....

The mystery red pokemon is reeled into TR's command base as the threesome and their followers race down to the site where the secret pokemon is being reeled into. "Hurry! There's not much time before the cops come", cries Blair out to his group. "HEEEEY!", shouts Crystal from a distance as the twerps rush up to reach TR's Brooklyn sided trap station. "What the.... ", says Blair as James tells Jessie and Meowth astutely, "Here come the twerps." "It's that girl and her two bratty pokemon that ruined my Sunflora scheme. So they were the ones that the boss warned me about", observes Blair as his informant asks him what he should do.

Blair thus, decides to grumble and then order Jessie and James to stop the threesome and their pokemon. "Us?", wonders Jessie as Meowth quips, "Figyas dat we get da bad luck uh facin da twoips!" Blair then orders his assistant to group the others so they can make their escape with the little undiscovered pokemon. "Let go of that thing, right now! It's presence in the waters here is having a huge impact on the local currents. "Really? Not as big as our presence though", states Jessie back at Cris-tal as our heroic part of TR reveal themselves to the threesome. "Team Rocket!!!", shouts Misty as James declares that they don't mind if they spoil these plans, but not on their watch.

And it's times like these when you realizes that the heart required for an evil scheme is starting to fade away from OUR TR.

So Jessie sends out Arbok and Dunsparce (yeah!) while James sends out Weezing (blech!) and Qwilfish as they swim out to cut off the twerps. Crystal then sends Sandshrew and Pikachu into the water to battle them as they swim/float above the surface to get to the twerps. Misty then adds Togetic to the twerps team and Justin sends out Misdreavus to make some use out of herself since she's already out anyway to attempt sweet sweet lovin' with her Justin. And so that commences the usual threesome-TR battle scene with the only real difference this time being that the battle's over the East River.

Arbok uses tackle which Sandshrew avoids and then Pikachu uses quick attack on Dunsparce. James then has Weezing use sludge attack on Togetic. But Togetic shields itself with a never-before-seen safeguard attack and then Justin has Misdreavus use shadow ball on aaaaaaaalllll their candy-asses... since she's in rage that they're attacked her beloved trainer. Misdreavus knocks away all four TR pokemon proving that she's for real and to be taken seriously despite the blinding Justin-lust.

"Oh no!!", gasps Jessie as Meowth quips about how lucky that shot was. James then declares they aren't going to 'bottom out' that easily.... especially when James has to equal his surprisingly sudden TR rival, Blair. And in another moment of irony that's specifically tailored to screw our heroes, James concludes that they won't bottom out as they then...... do just that with the assistance from the faulty platform they were on and into the dirty East River. "Daaaaahh... I'm all wet! I'm all wet! I'm all wet! I'mallwet!I'mallwet!", complains Meowth on and on as Jessie asks what the hell just happened. "I guess didn't install the metal beams on that platform properly", quips James.

The threesome's pokemon then get recalled or swim towards a nearby dock so that Cris-tal can pull them out of the water. But.... not before Sandshrew gives our TR a cheap shot sand-attack adding to their bad luck and misery. "We're not through with you yet, twerps!", shouts Jessie still sitting in the water. But Justin notices that the ferry with the captured mystery pokemon is getting away and so they dis TR once more by bolting along the side of the river towards the ferry that the rest of TR is using. Thus, the threesome dash off back towards the Brooklyn Bridge leaving TR behind to soak in the river to the ire of TR. "HEY! COME BACK HERE!! We aren't done with you yet...... uhh.... how are we getting out of here?", shouts Jessie before asking softly. "Oh my.... the water is getting unusually rough and angry", observes Prof. Pine who's too old to catch up with the younger twerps.

Suddenly, the waters begin to get a lot more choppy as the net with the captive water pokemon is being banged against underwater by the mysterious red-white pokemon. "Blair sir, the waters are getting very rough right now", the informant tells Blair. "Grrr.... don't worry! I'll steering this ferry outta here faster than a New York minute!", he responds to his butler-like informant. "Stop right there!", yells the threesome from afar as Blair nervously wonders who said that. The threesome, Sandshrew, and Pikachu then leap onto the ferry from an extending dock like true action heroes ready to confront the returning special guest TR villain.

"Alright... let go of that pokemon right now!!", shouts Misty with more gusto than usual, "You have no business with that beautiful creature!!" "And don't think we forgot about that illegal Sunflora plant you orchestrated, Blair!", adds Cris-tal. "So it's that's darn Sandshrew, the two little pokemon league girls, and their TR traitor. Don't think I'm not ready for your meddling!" "Saaashrew", retorts Sandshrew remembering how he illegally processed those Sunflora into illegitimate weed not approved by his master, Cris-tal.

And so, Blair sends his associates to seize the threesome only for the group to be easily handled by one Pikachu thunderbolt leaving them fried as the rest of the grunts back off. "<gasp> ERRRRRRRGGGHH NOOOOO!", gasps Blair as Justin informs him that the game is over. "Hmph.... you pokebrats have already ruined one of my schemes. There's no way I'll let you ruin me twice. Gooooo Donphan!!", answers Blair as he throws out his mini-elephant pokemon to deal with the meddling twerps while the captive uhh.... thing... is looking more hopeless that it won't be freed as well as the increasingly rough waters that's making the ferry rock some more. In the meantime, Cris-tal checks out Donphan with her pokedex....

Donphan - the armor pokemon - The longer, and bigger Donphan's tusks are, the higher, its rank in a Donphan, herd. Donphan's tusks, take a long time, to grow.

Pikachu tries to race in to fight Donphan, but Justin stops Crystal and the rat warning that Pikachu can't use its electric attacks on Donphan. "You're right...", sighs Cris-tal as she thinks to herself that she can't use Pikachu, and while Sandshrew is strong, it used up some of its energy attack J & J and being in the water, so with that said, she decides to entrust the battle to the just returned, insanely happy Totodile who dances around ungracefully in the bright lights and spectacle of New York City. Donphan opens with a sand-attack which Totodile avoids when Crystal has him use water gun to pole vault over it, impressing the heck out of water diva, Misty. The ferry then passes back under the ol' Brooklyn Bridge to make the battle and trip more out-of-this-world.

Blair then has Donphan use fury attack as it furiously attacks Totodile... but Totodile's way to psycho to be hit with that, especially coming off the insanity it observed at Prof. Oak's estate. Thus, Totodile furiously dances around Donphan's fury attack. "Good job, Totodile! Now hit Donphan with a full scale hydro pump attack!!", shouts Cris-tal. Thus, Totodile rears back to unleash its insanely powerful hydro pump attack when Blair has Donphan try to limit the damage with a defense curl. The hydro pump connects with Donphan dealing it some damage until Blair has Donphan use rollout attack.

Rollout allows Donphan to spin through the wall of Totodile's water and roll on through to Totodile. "Alright Totodile.... stop Donphan with a slash attack!", declares Crystal.... but its too late. Donphan tags Totodile knocking it back towards Crystal barely able to keep going to the twerps' concern. "Haa... I told you that I wasn't gonna let you beat me again!", snorts Blair as the badass Donphan neighs next to him. And it is at this point when ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE!! That's because the waters start to get unusually choppy for a small river making Crystal go, "Huh?", and her pokemon also cry half their names.

The waters behind the ferry then swirl and go in all different kinds of directions to the amazement of the twerps and Blair who aren't sure what kind of an acid trip they're on this time. But eventually, out of the water (after the dramatic pause), arises a pokemon that's similar looking to the mysterious red and white pokemon.... only it's a lot bigger..... and a lot more pissed off!!!!!!!!!! "Rrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhrrrrr!!!", it roars menacingly with an insane, murderous rage felt in its roar only equal by the insane cries of Lugia when it lost Silver.

This pokemon looks kind of similar to Lugia, but it's smaller, has a more solid outer coat, and the markings are a little different.

Needless to say, this makes Crystal among others drop their jaws in absolute shock in seeing this pokemon which I'm sure has never been seen before. "Oh my God!", gasps Justin along with Misty as Prof. Pine watching from the riverside declares how it's beautiful it is. Crystal then comments that it must be related to that other pokemon captive down below with Misty adding that it probably came along with other to be around the firework for some reason and now this big blue pokemon is out to rescue the little red pokemon. "If we can catch that thing, I'll be the most famous Team Rocket villain of all time to catch it along with its sibling!", schemes Blair.

But if you think this sh*t is making Cris-tal and yourself lose any sense of reality...... you ain't read nothin' yet.....!! "It kind of looks Lugia, but it's smaller and colored a little differently", observes Justin as the freaky sh*t starts to unfurl. After another cry from this blue and white flying pokemon, it then turns totally invisible to the unbelieving shock of everyone. "AAHHHH!! IT JUST..... DISAPPEARED!", gasps Cris-tal as Pikachu shouts out like, 'Dude... what the f*ck is goin on here?', though we just hear, "Pikaaah?!" "But how could it just disappear??", then wonders Blair aloud.

The ferry then gets rocked by something crashing into it tearing a gash in its side above the surface line. "Oh it's still around alright. It just made itself invisible", comments Justin as they all try to hang on despite this thing's wrath. Prof. Pine tries to scribble some notes down about it as he comments about how unbelievable this discovery is for pokeology. Meanwhile, Jessie is asking her TR companions if they saw that. Meowth replies a bit startled, "I thought I did... but only for a second and buhsides, dat bridge was a bit in da way."

The invisible mystery creature then uses a gust attack on Blair when forces him to crash back-first into the steering wheel. Well at least it's smart enough to know who to attack.... "It's up there, right above us! I can tell because of the direction the wind is coming from Misty tells her companions as Sandshrew and Pikachu comically cling to Crystal's legs so that they're not blown away. "Aaagh", cries Blair as the mystery pokemon cries again as we don't see the invisible thing swoop back underwater and free the complementary red pokemon from its net so it can swim away.

Blair then gets out some kind of bazooka the size of Ash Ketchum and then readies to fire at the invisible mysterious pokemon. "Hah.... I've got something for you to fire at, you no good birdbrain!", shouts Blair as he points the bazooka at the invisible thing as it aims what looks like a certain death attack at all of them on the ferry. "No you can't, you don't even no what you're doing!", pleads Crystal. "CRIS! It's no use, we have to get off this boat now!!", yells back Justin as she tries to reply, "But...!" "FORGET IT!", shouts Blair before the drama reaches its peaks with him proclaiming savagely, "You're mine!"

And then, yep..... more trippy sh*t.... because out of absolutely nowhere comes an ice beam attack which forces Blair to drop the bazooka-like weapon thus freezing it. "Where did that come from?!", wonders Misty as they see the invisible menace ready to tear up the boat and everything on it. "No time to worry about that Cris, we have to get off this ferry NOW!", shouts Justin as Misty points out the South St. Seaport dock where they can abandon ship without having to soak unlike our poor TR. A hyper-beam like attack is then fired at Blair and TR's getaway ferry as a trapped and helpless Blair shouts, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Justin then has everyone cover up either to prepare for the explosion or so that he can cuddle with the two young female poke-trainers....... that creep!!! So they and the poke-couple get close together and then........

BUH-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

The mystery creature blows up the ferry scattering Blair into the water along with other TR grunts and possibly corpses. It then splashes back into the river to swim away from this seemingly unwelcome environment along with its similar looking red cousin or relative bird thing perhaps never to be seen again until the next underexposed, underrated motion picture. During this, a mist creeps over the entire East River area where the ferry blew up as James then quivers, "Great... now what's going on???", as they're still floating in the same spot in the river.

Meanwhile, the threesome and company get out of there huddle to realize that the explosion did not phase them. "We're..... okay", realizes Cris-tal who may have undergone her best acid trip ever as Misty wonders how they weren't hurt despite the explosion being so close to them. Crystal then look in toward the city and sees a shimmering blue wolf-like pokemon kinda watching over them. Can you say... 'Suicune', dodgers?? This makes Crystal gasp as she sees the vision of the trademark pokemon for Pokemon Crystal though its too far away for her to recognize that it was Suicune. "You guys... look!", remarks Cris-tal as the others turn to see..................................

NOTHIN'.... as it seems that the mystical blue wolf-like pokemon dashed off just as Crystal looked for a moment. "What?", wonders Justin as Misty tells Cris-tal that she doesn't see anything. Crystal of course swears that she saw something as Justin and Misty just shrug it off in confusion probably thinking its the usual visions of Cris-tal. Even Sandshrew and Pikachu look confused at what Crystal claimed to see. Thus, Cris-tal is left to only wonder and look back on how f*cked up this night was.

Meanwhile, with the fireworks long over, Blair is floating out towards the bay near the Statue of Liberty on a life tube with his informant. He whines, "Daaaaaaahhh... my plan failed... but how??" "I guess fate doesn't really like you, sir", responds the unnamed informant doing his best Marcy from Peanuts impression as Blair then vows dodgily that next time he'll go after fate and capture that instead. "If anyone can do it, sir, it's you", his informant tells him confidently as our TR comes floating downstream to join them. "AHHHHH..... Quiet!", says Meowth grumpily standing on a piece of plywood that Jessie and James are hanging onto. "Ha... you screwed up, Blaine! And you didn't even need the twerps help", mocks James with his habit of screwing up the name.

"That's Blair, you mudflap!", shouts back Blair as the two factions then begin bickering at each other with the Statue of Liberty in the backdrop. The Lady Liberty probably requested her own personal TR scene so they could entertain her as only TR can.

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon?? (This pokemon evolves from orange hide and evolves into orange hide..... yet this thing's skin is f*ckin RED!!!)

It's Charmeleon!! .......................................... "Chaarmeleon!"

Leaving TR to soak, we see that the threesome has reunited with Prof. Pine the following morning along with Dragonite being present indicating that they're ready to leave New York. Prof. Pine tells them about how unbelievable last night was and that he was able to get enough information on the two mysterious pokemon they encountered last night to conduct some research and try to identify what those pokemon really were. "That's great..... ooh, I so hope I'm able to find out more about them", says Misty as the concept of seeing a mysterious water pokemon makes her wet....................... with perspiration.

Prof. Pine then asks them if they have his special device to take back to Prof. Oak so he can use it for God only knows what. Crystal tells him that she has his device safe and sound despite rocking it around her green backpack by running after TR the night before. There must be a lot of soft material in that backpack.... I mean.... how else is that delicate technological breakthrough not broken?? "Then I guess you're all set.... it's been a pleasure meeting you and going around the city", compliments Pine-y. "Thanks.... we had a great time in New York and the fireworks were really enjoyable", replies Crystal as Sandshrew and Pikachu also say buh-bye and thank you to him in their native tongues. And thus later on, we see them flying Justin's retro looking Dragonite out of Manhattan and heading back to Pallet Town with Prof. Pine looking on in the foreground.

But we have one more piece of business to take care of on top of the Empire State Building where Jigglypuff makes a crash landing. And as a bonus for her reaching so high up on the building, she happens to come across New York's #1 pop radio stations featuring all the artists you love to hate. Jigglypuff then notices the DJ booth that the DJ left open to go take a sh*t or something like that... so she slips in through the small window to come face to face with all the DJ equipment.

"Jiggly??", wonders Jigglypuff looking at all this strange equipment as she hops up onto the chair to say its name again only this time, the big microphone the DJ's use amplifies her, "Jigglypuff!" Jigglypuff looks curiously at the big microphone before saying delightedly, "Jigglypuff!!!" I think you can figure out what happens next as all the 12 years olds and pop suckers in the New York metro area turn on their favorite radio stations only to get a nice little surprise.

As for all the crazy, f*cked up sh*t that went on in this episode.... from Prof. Pine working as a subordinate of Nurse Joy to Blair's appearance to everyone expecting Lugia and getting something different to James being jealous of Blair to DAMAGE AND VIOLENCE on the ferry to Suicune apparently protecting and stalking Cris-tal at the same time. How could anyone explain all this going on in one episode?!?

Hey...... it's New York...... all kinds of sh*t is possible in New York....