Sticky Goodness

Dragonitemare presents

Pokemon Crystal series

Ep. 59

STICKY GOODNESS

With the twerps back from their States trip and settled in and regrouped at the ranch/bordello of Prof. Oak, the threesome is ready to set off as Professor Oak and Mrs. Fletching are there near the front door. And ........ heeeeeey alright, the ultra-horny Muk is behind them, haven't seen him in awhile. "On one hand, I don't want to see you leave, but on the other hand, I wanna see you go out there and win your way into the Kanto League", Mrs. Marguerite Fletching tells her daughter. "Well that's exactly what we're gonna do, mom!", replies daughter Cris-tal. "Piiii pikachuuu!", shouts Pikachu. "Saaaaashrew sanshrew shrew", adds Sandshrew who then becomes the subject, or should I say, victim of Prof. Oak's lusty desires.

Crystal tells them that they're headed to the Fuchsia Gym to win her fifth badge. Justin just adds that they would like to know which way they should take in order to get there the quickest. "Fuchsia City, eh?", asks Oakky as the wheels in his testosterone filled head start turning. He then suggests that they take the newly constructed route 46 which connects to route 18 that'll take them straight to the New Jersey shore.... I mean errr... the Fuchsia gym. But he also adds that on the way, there is one of the biggest and best honey factories right on the corner of routes 46 & 18 that they should stop by. he also adds that people come in for tours and free samples of the delicious honey all the time.

Now this seems like a nice break for the Professor to suggest to the kids but what could be the reasoning for him to bring up this place?? I guess we'll all find out any moment now.

"That sounds pretty cool", comments Misty as Professor Oak then calls another swingin' specialist of Professor Oak's to him summoning Heracross to flutter its clear little wings into the twerps' conversation. "Heracrr", says Heracross landing between Old Man Oak and Crystal. I was hoping that you could take Heracross to the hive that generates the honey there. "That sounds like a great idea, when Heracross was with us, it was always slurping up sap and honey from trees that we passed", Misty tells them perhaps uneducated about the fact that Beedrills and other bug type pokemon. "But Misty, I already have six pokemon with me, that would mean that I would have to give up at least one of them at least until we were finished with this manmade hive.

"Oh don't worry", replies the scheming, swinging Professor Oak, "I was interested in studying Sandshrew a little bit more if that's okay with you, Crystal. I was very intrigued by the figures I was getting from the pokemon device that you brought from Prof. Pine. I'm going to be testing it out quite a bit." So that's his wicked agenda..... he's going to teach Sandshrew how to be a bona fide swinger just like the rest of those pokemon!! Cluelessly, Crystal agrees to Professor Oak's request and then asks Sandshrew if he's okay with it. Eager to learn some new swingin' tips from Prof. Oak and his.... 'staff'... Sandshrew nods as Pikachu utters, "Pikaaa pii pii", voicing its concerns for leaving its side. "Sanshrew", reassures Sandshrew simply as Crystal tells Pikachu not to worry since Sandshrew will be coming back very soon. "Heracr", whispers Heracross approaching Cris-tal..... going from a swinger to a hippie. Crystal welcomes Heracross and leaves Sandshrew in the 'specialized' care of Oakky telling them to take good care.

The threesome then has their earliest cheesy good-bye scene ever as Marguerite wishes Crystal luck on her next gym battle. "I can't wait to taste victory against the Fuchsia gym leader! But first, I can't wait to taste sweet, sweet honey at that hive", Crystal declares as they're walking away from Oak's ranch to leave Samuel, Marguerite, and Sandshrew to their swingin' lessons. "Pi-pikaaa", adds Pikachu as the whackos and perverts at the ranch await the returns of the others (Delia, Tracey, Ash) to make their dream of a true swingin' orgy complete.

 

<cue intro>

 

Well now the threesome has just gotten onto to Route 46 ready to bump into another loser with a problem with their pokemon that'll tie 'em up every five minutes just like in Johto when Crystal rummages through her dodgy green backpack and..... what the f*ck?!? They're actually at the hive already!! How the hell did this happen? Did hell freeze over and 4Kids develop a collective brain?! Or perhaps a certain storywriter utilized some influence.... heh heh heh. "Here we are", declares Crystal of the Sandshrew-less threesome. "Mmmmmm... sweet honey tasting juices coming into my mouth prematurely...", daydreams Justin. Thus, Misdreavus pops out wanting to taste Justin's sweetness. "Don't make me lose my appetite", Justin warns her making her curiously utter, "Mis-dreee."

When they walk in, they are greeted by two people welcoming them to the Pollard Family Honey Hive. "Hi", greets the threesome simultaneously. "I'm Joey and this is my girlfriend Joelle.... but everyone calls her Ms. Syrup", Joey tells them as we notice that Joelle or Syrup has a nice set of... ahem... pancakes under her shirt. "I bet you're here for a tour of the hive", the bright young girl figures out.... well the jury's still out on her intelligence since we just met her say.... 5 seconds ago. "Aw yeah... we'd like a tour please", responds Crystal who sounds stoned (uh-ohhhh). "Pikaaaa", adds Pikachu who also looks like Cris-tal smoked it up as Syrup tells them that they'll gladly give a tour to them and their pokemon.

"Alright", replies Crystal as she sends out Heracross to join in on the tour. "Heracr", says Heracross as Joey tells them, "Oh my... a Heracross. I bet it'll be extra eager for a taste of our honey", Joey says with suggestive tone in his voice as Heracross nods and responds accordingly.... make of that what you will. Ms. Syrup then suggests that they go inside and when our group of stoned and horny honeydwellers do, they go inside to the main part of hive with honeycombs oozing with honey and Kakunas in them as the worker Beedrills slave for their hive masters as they buzz back and forth... some carrying honey. Truly, it's a unique sight of pokemon industrialism mixed with the scenery of a natural habitat of the inside of the biggest beehive ever made.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!", screams Misty caring about none of that, but only about the sight of the dozens of Weedles, Kakunas, and especially Beedrills everywhere, "BUG POKEMON EVERYWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEERREE!" "Misty, calm down", says Justin trying to calm her down as Joey then asks him what the matter is and Justin tells Joey about Misty's aversion to bug-pokemon. Cris-tal then goes down with her curled into a ball not willing to look up or out. She pats Misty on her shoulder assuring, "Yeah, I know it's an unsettling sight for you to see so many bug-pokemon at once but Joey and Ms. Syrup will keep us safe, right guys?" "That's right", assures Ms. Syrup with Heracross smiling coyly next to the two of them, "The pokemon won't bother you unless you threaten them. Just stay with us and everything will be fine."

So Misty reluctantly agrees to follow them and endure this tour/horror show for her. Ms. Syrup then begins to tell the twerps a little about their honey and sap business, how it spans 6 generations and how it's the #1 producer of honey and processed sap in the world just because they say so. But this introductory information is boring, so before people start changing the channels or in this case, clicking on the X in the upper right hand corner, let's go to our heroes Team Rocket, who expected the threesome to be here and are spying on them as we speak from high above up in the rafters of the hive. And they are just gobbling up their position right now.

"Oooohh... I just love this sweet sticky nectar of euphoria!", says Jessie with glee. "We're going to have to seriously jog this off later, but it's so worth it. I haven't eaten this well in weeks", expresses James scooping up the sap with his palms and eating them. "While I em glad dat we're finally eatin' junk food again, I hope dat neithuh of yas is forgettin' dat we came 'ere to trap dose twoips 'en gettin' Sanshrew and Pikachu", Meowth tells them. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I don't see Sandshrew anywhere with the twerps", James says. "Are you shuwure?", asks Meowth as James claims he spots Pikachu but no Sandshrew in sight.

"Interesting", states Jessie who then suggests that even if Sandshrew is MIA (for French-Canadians that means - missing in action), they can still grab Pikachu if things work out. "Ahhh... now that we're all full on this delicious sap, let's start siphoning the motherload", says James with anticipatory glee. "Duuuuh? Shouldn't we kinda wash our hands so we don't stick tuh each utta?", asks Meowth being that TR's bodies and uniforms are all sticky from the sap. "I suppose we should wash up...", states Jessie as Wobbuffet come out to agree, salute, and then go pig out on some more sap oozing from the walls. "I said wash up not washed up", quips Jessie calling back the respectful blue pokemon calling out, "Wooooooooooooobbbuuuhhffeet", while eating until it gets sucked back into its pokeball. "Let's suck up a fortune!", declares Jessie as they go to wash up and steal the enormously profitable honey for themselves thus, Jessie and co. would suck up a fortune...

Alright damnit, everyone keep your pants on!!!

Meanwhile, during the tour of the many chambers of the hive, Justin is impressed with the reputation of Joey's business which was too boring to mention in detail here. "Are you going to explain to us how this Beedrill sap gets transformed into the miracle of one of the most delicious foods in the world? Next to pepperoni pizza, of course!", Justin requests of them. "Absolutely", answers Ms. Syrup sticking her chest out for Justin to look at. Talk about some sweetness..... The Pollard then invite them into the next chamber as Misty huddles close to Justin and Crystal, shuddering profusely. When they go into the next room they gasp as the site of what looks like mechanical machines taking in sap and transferring it into jars of brand name honey.

Once again.... life teaches us to screw nature...

"What is this machine in here for?", wonders Crystal as some more Beedrills buzz over the machine. "This machine is part of the process that transfers plant nectar into the delicious honey you're used to", Ms. Syrup tells them. CUTENESS ALERT!! Pikachu is then caught trying to stuff its face with some of the sap oozing off the walls of one of the honeycombs thus, getting itself fatter. But when Pikachu's stumpy little legs giveway, it ends up falling on the back of its neck comically as Pikachu utters, "Piii-kaaaah." "Heracr", replies Heracross to Pikachu's cry of idiocy. Joey starts to tell the threesome about the honey production process by telling them that there's more than just taking the sap that's around and jarring it.

"Where does this sap come from in the first place?", Justin asks them. Joey explains to the uneducated twerps that the sap initially comes from the Beedrills that buzz around here and call this place home. They even give birth to the Weedles and Kakunas hanging around here which is why they see them around here and plus, the Beedrills have constructed a significant part of the hive themselves since after all....... they are frickin' Bee-type pokemon. Joey further explains (with crappy still frame animation) that Beedrills gather their pollen and nectar from nearby flowers and certain grass pokemon. Thus, when they get back to the hive, they use their special powers to combine the nectar pollen they take in, and out comes the sappy substance everyone sees on the wall and certain folks <cough>TR&Pikachu<cough> tried to eat.

From there Joey explains, the sap is brought into this machine by some of their specially trained Beedrills and it processes the sap into the jars of honey that he claims everyone is used to eating. The machine tweaks the sap by removing chunks of honeycomb and adding a couple of sweeteners. Joey then boasts that they can produce about a thousand jars of honey a day from this hive. "Sweet!", exclaims a still cautious Misty looking scared at all of the Beedrills buzzing about and dumping sap into the big processing machine. "I'd like a jar of my own, right now", says Crystal calmly and still high from her 'session' on her way to the hive. "I thought you'd never ask", replies Ms. Syrup as instantly has a jar for each twerp, including Pikachu and Heracross.

"All right, now I have my very own Pollard Honey for the next time I make chicken nuggets", Justin says. "This honey with your food.... your culinary skills will go a step in the right direction", Cris-tal replies. "Pikaaaa", rejoices Pikachu as it receives its own mini-jar of honey. "Heracross, come take your own jar of honey", calls out Crystal for the horned bug pokemon. "A jar for Heracross, too?!? Watch out, Cris, that won't last long", Justin advises her calling her by her pet name. "Heracross?", Crystal asks looking around for Heracross as the others go, "Huh?" "Heracross?!", wonders Crystal as she tells everyone that Heracross has disappeared to the concern of Pikachu. "It was just here a minute ago... where did it go?", wonders Ms. Syrup, the honey lady.

"Well... judging by the activities of Heracross, I'm guessing that it flew off into the main chamber of the hive to find some more sap", believes Justin who seems to have a keen sense for perverted pokemon activities. "The only real exit IS the way we entered so let's go out into the main chamber and see if your Heracross buzzed out there", proposes Joey. "Oh no... we actually have to go out there to where those buzzy Beedrills actually live?", frets Misty. Crystal tells her that they have to find Heracross before it may get hurt by any Beedrills it may trespass on and eat the sap that's theirs. "Oh alright", says Misty taking a big breath of anxiety. Crystal then puts her arm around Misty's shoulder and claims that they'll be all right with her so that nothing will bother them.

And with the twerps wandering around searching for the suddenly disappearing Heracross, TR is linking up their tubes (GETCHA MIND OUTTA DA GUTTA!) to drain all the sap out of the hive as we see....... ewwwwwww Jessie and James still spitting out the chunkiness of the unprocessed sap they drank. "I can't believe da pennies dat we pinched tuh bring dese special watuh trucks out here en connect 'em all ovuh dis hive", Meowth states as we see the numerous tubes that they managed to hook up to the hive with the ominous music set playing. "Yes Meowth, not only did we anticipate the twerps arrival here, James and I called Budget truck rental to get these water trucks. Only, they won't be filled up with water.... they will slowly fill up with this artificial hive's delicious, nutritious sap", Jessie tells him spitting another miniscule honeycomb chunk out.

"It's a good thing we used Budget cuz we're on the ultimate budget with the boss breathing down our throat. But once we sell this delicious, yet a bit chunky, sap to Team Rocket, we won't have to restrict our meager budget anymore", adds James. "Wooooooooobbuuhh wooooooob", interrupts Wobbuffet popping out again as Jessie ignores the blue one proceeding that the twerps will have no idea that their precious sap and honey will slowly drain away and then she cackles. "Won't dis take howuhs to do wit' all da stickiness dat is in da sap?", asks Meowth. Jessie replies smugly, "Yes, I suppose it could take a little while, but during that time, we can scrounge up some more sap. BLECH.... even though it leaves my mouth almost stuck in one place." "Woooooooooobbbuuuhhffet", shouts Wobbuffet saluting Jessie as she commands Wobbuffet to pretend to be useful and flip the switch.

"Woooooooobbuuhhffet", obliges Wobbuffet releasing its salute before wobbing over to a big switch on the middle of the three trucks that TR rented to suck out the sap. "Wooooooobbuuuhh wooooooobb", says Wobbuffet looking on at the switch with awe. But Jessie then threatens the patient blue blob by shouting that she won't let it bungle up another mission and if it doesn't flip the one solitary switch, she'll gooify poor Wobbuffet. Knowing the consequences, Wobbuffet acquiesces and after a brief pause for drama (and to see Jessie staring angrily at Wobbuffet with her boobs sticking out for the imaginary camera), we see a blue flipper flip THE SWITCH!

 

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon?? (Most common sense people would rip the tail off this much hated pokemon and present it to their babies as a rattle.)

It's Marill!! .................................... "Mariiiiiiiiiillllll!"

 

"Heracross?", shouts Cris-tal looking around slowly as her weed still must have an effect on her. Pikachu is also sluggish but that's probably because in addition to being high as a kite, it's unable to share its honey-filled vacation with Sandshrew who's probably experiencing a little more than a honey fetish at the moment at Professor Oak's lab. (Current fanfic rating among rodent pokemon: 2.1 if lucky) As the rest of the twerps and Pollards scatter about to call for Heracross across the vast hive, Pikachu probably misses out on an opportunity for it and Sandshrew to share some honey (Rodent pokemon rating: 4.0).

From there, Pikachu can almost imaging Sandshrew smothering the pudgy electric type in honey (Rating: 10.9), especially the special line that Sandshrew made covering unmentionable parts of Pikachu's body (Rating: 67.3!). Pikachu lusting for Sandshrew to lick honey off its thigh and belly (Rating: 100!!!!) and then it takes a turn licking the honey off Sandshrew's face and then cleaning off the rest of the sandy rodent so that it is left totally sticky-free (Rating: In the billions). With the imagery in place, Meryl Streep then provides a dramatic interpretation of what messages were transpired between Sandshrew and Pikachu (Ratings instantly at 0!..... if lucky) ending such perverted fantasies.

"Heeeeracross?!", calls out Misty who's making it through her fears just fine so far. But when she heads into another section of the hive she sees a site that comes at her like an oasis. No, it's not healing and assurance of her lesbian feelings, particularly with Cris-tal, but rather, it's an open space with the floor being smothered with appetizing looking honey. "This sap looks really good. Maybe I can sample a taste since it doesn't look like its been stepped on or anything", proclaims Misty making her mouth water much like TR's for some sap. But before she can, who else but Psyduck comes leaping out his pokeball to Misty's confusion. Psyduck sees the appetizing sap and is ready to dive in like it's a pond.... except it realizes that it's no pond at the last moment making Psyduck desperately wiggle its wings webbed feet only to end up crashing down. "Psyyyyy-duck", utters an anxious Psyduck as the camera flips rightside-up to reveal Psyduck to be upside-down with the top of its big head stuck to the honey on the ground. "Psyyy", sighs Psyduck as Misty tells it politely, "I don't think that's much of an eating position, Psyduck."

But then Misty gets bigger issues to contend with, for along comes a couple of Weedles crawling along the ground having no trouble moving through the goo with its hundreds of tiny legs while Psyduck is able to stick to the ground upside-down by balancing its head perfectly using its three little hairs as sensory guidance or some junk like that, I don't know. "Oh no!", panics young Misty at the site of the Weedles... and then some buzzing, some awful buzzing. <gasp> Looking up makes her shudder at the site of a few Kakunas resting inside some of the honey combs making a see-through wall. Then, the apocalypse for Misty arrives as a swarm of Beedrill come buzzing in overhead circling her while she's trying to free Psyduck.

Just as she's about to let out a bloody death scream intended to burst lungs worldwide, she uses the luxury of her brain that other brain-dead and trainers with freaky egg leeches were devoid of. Thus, instead of screaming, Misty thinks to herself, "Stay calm, Misty. Remember what Joey and Ms. Syrup said.... the Beedrills will only attack if I move too fast or be too loud." And thus, Misty just sits there nervously in the sticky goop with Psyduck, whom Misty finally turned right-side up, watching the pokemon go about their business and circle around the place and the two of them.

When Crystal meets up with the Pollards again without finding Heracross, Crystal says that there has to be a way to find Heracross and that it's probably eating some sap somewhere in the hive. Ms. Syrup then believes that maybe she has another way and then calls upon her own personal Beedrill named Skippy whom buzzes over. She then asks Skippy if it's seen Heracross anywhere only after they split up to waste time searching for Heracross WITHOUT SKIPPY. Skippy then nods and then buzzes off indicating to Ms. Syrup that, in fact, Skippy has seen the perverted horny horned swinger. Thus, the twerps, save Misty, head off after Skippy but not too quickly since Joey reminds them that the Beedrills may attack them if they aren't careful.

Meanwhile, back at the raunchy Oak estate…………………………

“78... 79... 80... 81...”, counts Professor Oak complimenting, “My, I’ve never seen a Sandshrew that can endure this much water.” We see him holding his precious sexual perversion measurement device watching over Sandshrew in one of his test pools avoiding the underwater attacks of Kingler (yes, Crystal’s/Ash’s Kingler) including a bubble attack and a crab hammer. “SASHREW!!”, shouts Sandshrew defiantly trying to hold off Kingler as long as possible before it can’t hold its breath anymore and races up to the pool surface. “Outstanding Sandshrew, now let me measure you water retention”, says the dirty professor feeling around the sandy rodent with the little black device he’s possessed very close to him. After measuring Sandshrew, Oakky is astounded about measuring a ground type pokemon with the water retention level that Sandshrew has. He holds up Sandshrew under his front legs and concludes with this information, “Crystal really has done an outstanding job training you, Sandshrew.” Sandshrew cries back happily before shaking the water off of its skin vigorously, drenching the professor which of course has to lead to some kind of dodgy statement. Thus, the professor responds, “Well, I guess these experiments are getting a little wetter than I had anticipated.” “Saaanshrew”, replies Sandshrew looking amused by the geezer’s dodgy antics.

With most of the twerps on the trail of Heracross, TR spends their time waiting for the sap to secretly seep into their trucks by goin back into the hive and taking some more free samples. "Ahhh.... all this sap flowing around here looks absolutely delectable", says James as only he can. "Well we better stop admiring it and start taking some more free samples because it's not going to be around for too much longer", Jessie replies to them. "Ey, as long as it's a free sample, it's good fuh me", says Meowth falling in love with the sticky stuff. "Woooooooobbbuuuh wooooobb", sums up Wobbuffet saluting all the goo.

"And look... there's a place right there where the sap can fall right into our mouths. We're gonna get a little sticky, but it's definitely going to be worth it to taste a piece of heaven", squeals James in all kinds of dodgy delight. Jessie then adds being even more dodgy, "... and we won't even have to be bent over this time", during a GAS of their backsides. "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBUUUHHFFET!!", shouts Wobbuffet eagerly zipping over to the honey falls letting the falling sap flow right into its zig-zagged mouth. "Let's taste it", shouts Meowth as the rest of TR goes over to let the falling sap go right into their mouths as the rest of it pours over the rest of their bodies.

Oooooooooh...... at least their bad luck turned kinky this time!

As we see Jessie spit out some of the honeycomb material that comes with the sap, on the ledge above we see the Pollards and the twerps going after Heracross. When he comes to the part of the ledge that TR is standing under, a part of the hive's ledge crumbles under his left foot where the sap is coming down. "Whoa!!", shouts a startled Justin who unknowingly almost fell on TR sighing in relief, "That was close." But while Justin walks away as if nothing happens, the part of the ledge that broke off falls in front of TR making the sap fall down at a much heavier rate drenching Jessie, James, Meowth, and Wobbuffet in the sap to the point where they can't move. "Aaaaaaaaaahh", screams TR as James complains that he's totally stuck. Meowth then adds that he doesn't grab the scratch-cat, then Meowthy is gonna drown. "WOOOOOOBBBUUHHFFET!", shouts Wobbuffet going down like a true soldier saluting and the goo sticks them all together. Imagine all the dirty possibilities....

During this, scale a couple flights of stairs in this multiple story megacomb and when they enter one of the upper chambers, they find Heracross snacking on some sap that's oozing of the combs and onto the ground. "There you are, Heracross", says Cris-tal relieved to find the perverted bug type again, "You shouldn't buzz off like that Heracross. I know you like eating all this sap, but going away on your own really scared everybody." "Heracr", responds Heracross as we can only assume that it signifies his sorrow. But then Cris-tal notices some sores on Heracross's... ahem... exoskeleton that resemble hives. "D'oh my God! What is that?!", shouts Crystal worried that Heracross may be extra-contagious. Justin tells her that they look like sores from the stinging that the Beedrills have made trying to defend their territory from the lecherous Heracross. With the Beedrils still buzzing around the room menacingly, Ms. Syrup has Skippy tell the other Beedrills to calm down and eventually, they do go back to nesting inside different honeycombs.

Who wants to bet $10 that they're herpes from Prof. Oak?? Cuz I'm starting the betting at $5.

They go back to the training room where Ms. Syrup tells Heracross that this spray she's gonna apply may sting at first but it'll help it feel better. Heracross moves violently at first due to the stinging of the ointment but then calms down after that. "I think has learned not to mess with the food supply of angry Beedrills", Joey tells Cris-tal and Pikachu. "I guess that learning experience is a good thing to draw out of this, isn't it Heracross?", she asks the horny bug arousing it with motherly type of rub of his shoulders. "Heracr", replies Heracross as Justin suddenly realizes that they're missing something uttering his statement deliberately. "Missing something?", wonders Cris-tal with her bloodshot eyes till she suddenly realizes, "Waaaaaah. Misty's still out in the hive.... all on her own!"

And so we suddenly find them racing into the chamber to see Misty and Psyduck paralyze with fear.... or in the case of Psyduck, the disturbing amount of yellow in the scene. "Oh no", gasps Crystal as Justin states that the swarming of the Beedrills must've paralyzed her in fear. "Oh.... don't worry", quivers Misty sounding like she did some serious 'browning of her droors if ya know what I mean), "I'm not scared... I'm just... laying down here with Psyduck watching all the colorful Beedrill." "Pssyyyyyy-yyy-yyyyy duck", adds Psyduck. "Misty... if you crawl on your hands and knees, you can escape unharmed", Ms. Syrup tells her. And thus, in yet another scene of suggestive lesbianism, Misty crawls slowly towards Cris-tal and Ms. Syrup to escape the wrath of the dreaded bug types. Psyduck then follows suit and waddles after her holding his head.

"Phew... I hope I never get surrounded like that again...", sighs Misty as Ms. Syrup is thankful that she's unharmed along with Psyduck. "Hey Joelle...", Joey tells his girlfriend, "I've just got a signal of trouble from the honey tracker. This hive is losing its sap at an alarming rate!" "Huh?!", gasps the threesome as Ms. Syrup wonders if it's something wrong with the hive or the computer system. "No, they've checked out just fine. Somebody's after our honey supply and I don't know where it's going to", Joey answers making the twerps shout, "OH NO!"

Ms. Syrup then tells them that they have to do something and fast. And thus, they race down towards the ground floor along with Pikachu, Heracross, and Psyduck to look for what the ever-so-popular US government is now coining 'a smoking gun' as to the disappearance of a lot of the hive's sap. "It doesn't look like much has gone", figures Crystal from looking around the hive. "But there's clearly not as much sap around as there normally is. The sap is usually much more abundant around here", Ms. Syrup responds to her. That is when Justin finds something that startles him as he shouts for the other twerps to take a look. And what they see is TR totally drenched in the gooey, wax-thick sap. "AHHH! IT'S TEAM ROCKET!", gasps Misty and Crystal.

"I can't eat anymore.... my stomach is too full and I may even get a gut, God forbid", utters James sounding terrified at the premise of being unfit as we notice Wobbuffet still saluting while being stuck solid in the sweet substance. "My hair.... my hair is gonna be totally ruined", squeals an upset Jessie as Meowth pleads for somebody to save his nine lives. And yes, all three of them can be heard audibly despite basically drowning in the sap... some of which is covering their mouths but again, Pokemon usually rapes the laws of physics like that. "How did they get in here?", wonders Ms. Syrup as Joes claims that they have to rescue TR. So they grab three ropes and tell TR to grab on through the sap and they pull all four of them out with Wobbuffet holding onto Jessie holding onto her rope as Joey, Ms. Syrup, and Cris-tal all pull them to safety.

"How did you three get in here? If you wanted a tour, you need one of us to guide you", Ms. Syrup tells TR. "Hey, we don't need a guide instructing us in how to feed ourselves", retorts James. "They're from Team Rocket, the criminal group, right?", Joey says, "Do you think that maybe they have something to do with the rapidly disappearing hive sap?" "I'd place a big bet on that, you guys!", replies Crystal angrily. "Disappearin' sap?", asks Meowth pretending to be clueless as Cris-tal grills them about what's going on with the funny business. TR stutters nervously about the disappearance of the sap until Jessie tells them, "How could you pin your mismanaged allocation of resources onto us?!" "Woooooooobbbuuhh", then says Wobbuffet saluting Team Toyboy.

"Stop with the bull, we know there's something more to this for you than just getting a quick snack!", snaps Misty. TR then mumbles again as Meowth then stutters, "Daaaaaaa-uuuhhhh??......... uuuuuuuhhhh.... see ya!" TR then dashes for the exit in a nervous panic with Wobbuffet racing after them as Justin shouts for them to get back, uselessly as usual as they still chase after them followed by their pokemon. "Ugh.... what a day! When will it end?", sighs Ms. Syrup as she's running along with her boyfriend. Those twerps and rockets, they'll wear you out alright. They follow TR out of the hive but then lose sight of them... when they go around back, they find the disheartening sight of all the tubes connecting the hive with the three trucks that TR is using.

"What are all those tubes for?", wonders Cris-tal gazing at them like a wall of Ekanses.... just like most pokemon world addicts. "I bet Team Rocket is sucking the honey into those trucks for themselves", Justin concludes as Joey demands that they have to get their sap back so they can continue their corporate doings. "I choose Bulbasaur!", shouts Crystal sending out the extra-aggressive grass type. "Bulbasaaaaaaaaauur!", shouts Bulbasaur ready to do some serious damage as Jessie is yelling at the trucks ignition demanding that it start. "It can't go unless we disconnect da tubes!", Meowth shouts over to her and Wobbuffet from one of the other trucks. Bulbasaur then readies itself to destroy mad TR property with Cris-tal and Heracross onlooking behind it.

You can pretty much tell what happens next...

"Bulbasaur, use your razor leaf and slice those tubes into......... AAAAUUGGHH!", says Crystal before looking on in utter shock as she witnesses one of the ultimate sights of dodginess.

....... THE BULBA-BLOWJOB!!!

Yep, with Bulbasaur finally back around, Heracross takes the opportunity to get some sweet Bulba-lovin'. We even get an up-close look at it as Crystal begs Heracross to leave Bulbasaur alone. But it finally takes a rash of severe Bulbasaur vine whips to force Heracross off of it. "Well... Heracross still has a thing for Bulbasaur", says Misty with a blank face telling the world about the ongoing 'fling' between the two dodgy pokemon.

Resuming the story, Cris-tal has Bulbasaur use razor leaf to slice up most of the tubes which it does with total preciseness while Justin advises Cris-tal that Heracross has the strength to break up the tubes with its claws. And thus, Cris-tal has Heracross destroy the tubes that Bulbasaur did not slice with his boundless sexual energy. "Wow.... I didn't know how strong Heracross was", comments Joey. The tubes spill out all of the sap that TR was trying to suck into their vehicles making TR just panicking to leave with the sap already in the trucks now. "Come on, come on, come on..... you should be able to start now!", shouts James hoping against hope to be able to get away. The engines then start to vroom making TR ease up a little bit.

But the relief is short lived as Justin calls out disco Dragonite who makes her weird catch cry and then uses blizzard at Justin's command to freeze all of the trucks engines one by one. Only Meowth is able to escape in his own truck for about 50 feet before his tires are cut by some more Bulbasaur razor leafs. No word on Meowth learned how to drive of how he was able to extend his paws all the way to the accelerator and brake pedals. "Oh great... now how are we going to take this sap load all the way to the bank?", Jessie yells out from here truck. "Maybe they'll blast US off with it", James shouts back at her trying to mock her somewhat. "WOOOOOOOOBBBUUUHHFFEEEET!", shouts Wobbuffet punctuating their little discussion from Jessie's truck saluting to the imaginary TV screen.

"Ey! If we ain't gonna get any more sticky honey, let's at least get stuck ontuh Pikachu", Meowth shouts hopping over to between them making them quickly get out. James then valiantly claims, "If we can hold 'em off in a battle and snatch Pikachu, maybe the engine will melt in time." Thus, J & J decide to stay boring and lame thus, calling out Arbok and Weezing and the twerps counter with only Heracross for now. Arbok uses its wrap attack to constrict itself around the perverted bug type. But Heracross counters by breaking out of Arbok's grasp using its immense perversion strength and then Crystal has it counter with a horn attack. James then calls upon ug ug ugly fugly mcfugmo mo' ugly macugmo to use smokescreen (not a bad thing) to cover everything up including ug ug ugly pugugly etc etc etc.

Jessie couples that by having Arbok get read to use poison sting as the twerps and supporting characters of the day are choking on yet another cloud of smoke. But just before Arbok can attack, some mysterious clears the air and reveals TR inplain sight again. "What happened... I don't understand", says Jessie. The reason for the sudden change of momentum reveals itself to be a horde of Beedrills led by Skippy buzzing up over the twerps. "Those darn Beedrills want their honey back!", proclaims James making Jessie yell at them to buzz on back to their hive. "Yeahh... en make sure ya stick tuh ya own honeycombs!", adds Meowth.

"For your information, these Beedrills are very territorial and are just here to regather what you crooks took from them, isn't that right, Skippy?", Ms. Syrup asks Skippy who replies by buzzing around in front of her with her ample chest sticking out. "Hmph... well let's see how those Bedrills like this.... Arbok, use poison sting!", replies Jessie and Arbok uses its usual poison sting arching it towards the crowd of obedient Beedrills. Ms. Syrup then has every Beedrill at her disposal use all their poison sting attacks arching them back at TR. The Beedrill stingers outnumber the Arbok stingers making TR hop up and down in pain as they get stung. "I told you that these Beedrills wouldn't take kindly to your intrusion", Ms. Syrup reminds TR. "Ow! Ooh! Ow", hurts Jessie as she jogs in place shouting, "Let's try the getaway truck again!" "WOOOOOOOOBBBUUUHH WOOOOOOOOOBB!", shouts and salutes Wobbuffet as they retreat into one of their trucks..... perfectly grouped together for Justin's Dragonite to wipe them out all at once with a hyper beam. The attack splatters hive sap everywhere and TR heading for the sky once more.

"Our stash isn't full any more", whines James with Wobbuffet and Weezing in the background. "Suddenly, neithuh is my stomach.... hooooh", complains Meowth.

"Looks like Team Rocket's runnin' on emptyyyyyyyy!" and then faintly, "Wooooobbbuhh"

Ms. Syrup then congratulates all her houseguests and then her Skippy imparticular. "Bzzzzz", responds Beedrills as Crystal also compliments Heracross on his valiant battling of TR. "Heracr", responds Heracross looking at Cris-tal wistfully as she tells Joey and Ms. Syrup that they handle their pokemon very well. "They have to with the kind of business they're running. You guys know everything about those Beedrills", Justin tells them. Misty then cites their advice on how to act when Beedrills are swarming around them that kept her from getting attacked when she was trapped back there and sh*ttin' a brick with Psyduck.

Ms. Syrup then giggles and claims that she's really grateful that she was able to help her and her Psyduck avoid serious harm. "What about all this sap TR siphoned out of the hive?", wonders Crystal as Pikachu is comically stuck in a layer of sap. "Oh don't worry, the Beedrills from the hive will eventually gather up all of the spilled sap and use it to help rebuild the hive. "We'll use parts of the broken tubes to get the rest of the sap from the other trucks back into the hive", says Joey. "But nevermind that for now, we need to unwind. How would you like to have the chance to finish your tour..... and then stay for a special dinner?!", Ms. Syrup asks making the twerps and their pokemon get all excited about their chance to freeload some food like Ash used to do all the time. "I really don't want to trouble you, but the honey tastes too good to pass up", Crystal tells them as she then makes perverted older guys lose their trousers. How? She simply takes a fingerful of honey, sticks it in her mouth and sucks it all off her finger. "Mmmmmmmm", she mmm's in deliciousness in between Heracross and Pikachu.

............... what?? She's 15!!!!!!!!! GETCHA MIND OUTTA DA GUTTA!! Now if that were Jessie doing that..... <grumbling laughter>

 

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon?? (This pink pokemon's IQ is on par with Ash Ketchum and once beat him out in an academic Olympiad.)

It's Slowpoke!! ............................................."Sloooooow poooooke."

 

Later on, once the tour and dinner concludes, we see Crystal chatting with Professor Oak as he asks her how their time at the hive went. "Pikahchu!", responds Pikachu happily as Crystal says that it was great and that they even had a special dinner there. While Heracross is wiping the leftover sap off her mouth with its bib. "Saaaa-shrew!", says Sandshrew leaping up onto the screen in front of Oakky. "Hey Sandshrew, did you have fun with the professor?", asks Cris-tal and Sandshrew replies happily since it now has all the perverted swinger advice he needs from Prof. Oak to be a better 'performer' for Pikachu and any other hos it may encounter if it ever breaks up with said electric rodent.

"I'm guessing that you're going to want Sandshrew back, right Crystal?", Prof. Oak asks her. "Yes... I have a very important gym battle coming up and I may need him", Crystal replies. "Very well... just send Heracross back into the transfer portal", Old Man Oak tells her (the Pollards must have their own special pokeball transporter for some unexplained reason) and thus, Heracross is back to being a perverted swinger with Prof. Oak and Sandshrew is back with his ol' posse making Cris-tal very pleased. Crystal then thanks the dirty professor as he then wishes that she wins the next badge. And then they say their goodbyes and Heracross leaves a happier bug now that it got another chance to suck on Bulbasaur's bulb again.

Cris-tal then asks if they have all the sap jars that they got from the Pollard hive. "They're all right here, Cris", Justin tells her as Misty declares that they should get going for the Fuchsia Gym. "Right", Crystal says as she then turns to Joey and Ms. Syrup and asks them if there's a quick route to the gym. "Sure", replies Joey with a scratchy as he points towards the outdoors where the twerps see a path that Joey claims will take them straight to route 18. "It should only take another hour of walking to get to the gym", adds Ms. Syrup as Cris-tal thanks her. So as long as another loser doesn't have a pokemon problem within the next hour of the threesome walking, they'll be at the gym. And thus, they leave the Pollard Family Honey Hive with Joey and Ms. Syrup waving and holding hands at the same time giving us one more suggestive demoralizing lesson to the young viewers out there.... promoting premarital whoopee. Something for pokemon fans to think about as the threesome approaches the Fuchsia gym.

To Be Continued