Dragonitemare presents

Pokemon Crystal series

Ep. 6

The beginning is just a flashback to last episode. If you read it (READ IT! READ IT! READ IT!!!!!! NOW!!!!!) you will remember Ash was in trouble in his fifth round match.

Trouble that is until he uses some perversion power to get the win thanks to Heracross. Then they got called to a surprise inspection where he met two other fellow Top 8 finishers..... Justin and the Snot that is known as Richie. But the inspection was just a ploy by Team Rocket who got away with all the pokemon.

So Ash had Tracey and his pokemon track TR and when they found TR a fierce battle ensued. Both pokemon on all sides basically got their ass kicked and Marill was such a useless pokemon that it decided to evolve into Azumarill during the battle.

It seemed like TR would get away with the heist, until a mystery pokemon decides to show up out of the shadows and attack TR. It enables Team Toyboy to get their pokemon back and in a kick-ass display of strength.... it defeats TR all by itself. Ash then goes up to it and praises it for saving Pikachu (not even caring about the other pokemon he has the cold-hearted SOB). It gave a deep roar back in return and the two get along so well that it decides to come with Ash for his Johto battles.

In other words..... stuff happened....

So now that Ash has drawn Richie for the quarterfinals match.... would he finally silence the plague of the pokemon series that is Richie? And how will this new mysterious pokemon affect the situation? And also, will Brock find a date for the big match? The answers to all these question are....... eh, probably. But still, the biggest match Ash has ever had to date is still to come...

<cue intro>

"I can't believe you're facing Richie again!" states Misty towards Ash. And as the two lovebirds continue to talk over their thoughts about the match, we see Pikachu over with that evil Togepi. It's probably arranging plans with Togepi to help it win illegally by Togepi using its dark powers. That Pikachu is quite the sly, crafty bookee, ain't it?

But you'd never know just by looking at it cuz all you can see them say are "Pikachu" and "Togepi". Pikachu then hands it its slice of apple because either through Togepi's hypnosis or for paying Togepi for it's services.

And remember.... this is a "kids" show.

Then, the rest of the crew comes in including Prof. Oak and Justin is along with them. Justin speaks first saying, "Hey Ash" Ash greets everyone back and Justin continues, "Are you nervous?" Ash replies that he's a little nevous but that he's older now and he can handle it better and he sounds as if he has a little intelligence for a change.

Brock then asks if he's ready to go and Ash slowly replies "Yeaahhh." They (Ash, Misty, Brock, Tracey, Mrs. Ketchum, Prof. Oak, and Justin) walk out and head towards the stadium with someone off in the distance watching them. "Oh by the way, I won my watch today, I can't believe it!" yells Justin excitedly to Ash, "And I get face the winner of your match tonight.

"Aha! The twerps think they're going to the big game but our scheme will turn it into a big shame" laughs Jessie. "And just what scheme did you concoct this time?" quips an impatient Meowth to which Jessie replies, "I didn't make any!". James and Meowth fall over after hearing this then James pops up and says sarcastically, "Great, this may be our best scheme yet!" "Only the sad part is that it may be da truth" squeals Meowth.

"I don't need any advice from Ann Landers or Dear Abby!" shouts an enraged Jessie at the two teammates slapping them around. She stops the abuse and continues, "For this plan was concocted by the villain friendly minds at Netscape Corp." "Oooooohhhhhhhhh!" oh James and Meowth.

Then, the blue billboard known as Wobbuffet pops out holding the Netscape trademark high over its head which Jessie must have gotten as a parting gift for her payment. Jessie yells at it, "Your an aggravation, not a advertisement..... and how did you get that anyway?" then calls it back. She loses her anger for the moment and revels with James and Meowth over their plan. "With dis hi-tech plan whateva is, Pikachu's days are numbered" says Meowth.

So Team Twerp plus extras are marching along (not literally dumbass) the path to the stadium..... and this is when Misty gets RRRRREEEEAAAAAAALLLLYYYYY horny. She tells Brock, "Oh, Brock I'm so nervous about Ash." Brock, being the reassuring mother that he is, replies that win or lose he'll be fine. Misty thanks Brock for the encouragement then she absolutely goes for the ultimate home run question with Brock while a concerned Togepi looks on.

"Brock...... um ..... will ........ u .....uhhhmmm .... accompany me to the match", says a nervous and horny Misty.

Hahahahhhh! Yes! Misty finally has the balls to lose her virginity despite the fact Togepi is clamped onto her. Now Brock, being significant older, is never one to turn down an offer from a cute girl. However, because of the age difference, Brock says that he will but he doesn't take it too seriously. Oh well..... he gotta do what a man's gotta do.

And hey..... Misty's happy he said yes. So happy in fact that she shouts out, "Ok...next stop, Johto Coliseum! Nothing will stop us now!" and that is exactly when a huge net falls on top of the crew. Mrs. Ketchum shouts, "How did this net get here!" Then they hear three sets of laughs and Justin cries, "Oh no! Not this again!" "'Fraid it is happening again.", monotonously states Ash and that cues TR to come out.

"Prepare for trouble"
"And make it double"
"To protect the world from devastation"
"To unite all people's within our nation"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love"
"To extend our reach to the stars above"
"Jessie"
"James"
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight"
"Wobb" interrupts Wobbuffet before Meowth kicks it out of the way.
"Meowth, that's right..... and this ploy is brought to you by the evil minds at Netscape"

"Meowth... just because they made up this plan doesn't make them evil" replies James. "Oh well.... whateva!" says Meowth, "so what's da special part about dis scheme?" "That was it..... it involved dropping the net on those twerps and now we take Pikachu. Ahaaa!" Jessie states.

Knowing this is nothing more than one of TR's cheap tricks, Meowth goes berserk on Jessie scratching her beautiful face and all. James then asks how she paid for it. She says she used his paycheck to pay Netscape. "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" squeals a horrified James. "How could you?" shouts James. "Hey! Well at least I'm making an effort for this cause unlike you two!!!!" shouts back Jessie twice as loud showing the two guys who's boss.

While they continue to squabble, Ash & co. are trying to think of a way to break free. Ash is frustrated and doesn't know what to do (isn't that a surprise). Justin tells him not to worry about it and save his strength for the match. Then Justin decides that it's his turn to play action hero.... he tells Ash & co. to leave things to him. He then calls out Raticate and Kabutops to help break the net.

TR continues to argue until Ash shouts, "Hey Team Rocket! Don't forget about us!" TR squeals and asks how they got out. "Now was your brilliant idea woith the investment?", snaps Meowth. They start to argue again and Justin just tells them to run along and get to the match. He then tells them that he'll deal with TR.

After awhile, TR stops fighting after watching Ash & co. escaping and they begin moping about how they can't win and Justin actually feels somewhat bad for them. They then turn to Justin and yell at him for letting them escape. Justin then sends Raticate and Kabutops out to battle while TR makes them battle. But then Wobbuffet pops out again making Jessie freeze before she throws it out there. James then shouts (like that'll frighten anyone), "We'll get you! Go Victreebel." It comes out and promply swallows the head of Wobbuffet. Ewwwwwwwwwwww......

James is also disgusted at site moaning, "Aaaaaaahhhhhh." Then Justin recovers from the sickening sight and orders Kabutops force it back with a headbutt. He then tells Raticate to go underground and attack. TR panics and asks franitically, "Where'd it go? Where'd it go? Where'd it go? Where'd it go? Where'd it go? Where'd it go? Where'd it go? Where'd it go? Where'd it go?" Raticate is then ordered to attack now and it explodes from under the ground right under TR. It slams them and they're sent flying.

"Hey Jessie.... that plan was from Netscape, right?" asks James. "Yeah, why?" replies a spent Jessie. "Well..... the name sure said it all. We use the net and they escape..." says James.

"Looks like Team Rocket's netscaping again!!" "Wobb!" adds Wobbuffet.

Meanwhile, it's dusk now and the twerps have already made it to the stadium. Misty is holding onto Brock... shaking in anticipation like a lovebird. (Hehehehehehe) Brock is probably thinking to himself if only she were a few years older. Then, the contestants come out..... first comes Richie and the Pokemopolis faithful in attendance boo as if it was a WWF event. Ash comes out next to lots of cheers. Ash and Richie then meet in the center of the field and Ash wishes Richie luck (Everyone else personally wishes bad luck). Richie replies saying, "Since we're such good friends...it's going to be such an honor to battle you. I know you're ready this time and so am I. You know, it's been a long road for me an...... OH blah blah blah blah!!!" SHUT THE F*CK UP YOU STUPID LITTLE TURD.

And so the hired announcer that comes around every time they need him yells that it'll be a 6 on 6 match and asks if the trainers are ready which they are.

And thus..... The Richie Rematch begins!

Richie calls out Happy, his stupid, cheap excuse for a Butterfree (which are stupid, cheap excuses for pokemon themselves) and Ash (who sees that his opponent has started with a sucky bug-type pokemon) chooses Cyndaquil. Tracey yells all the way from the stands, "Nice choice Ash! Now mow it down!" While Togepi laughs secretly unveiling its plans right in Misty's lap.

Happy and Cyndaquil trade blows and then Ash tells Cyndaquil to use flamethrower but he's not warmed up enough yet. So Happy uses its leer to slow down Cyndaquil and then it tries to knock it out with sleep powder. Ash yells at Cyndaquil to get its flamethrower going and it eventually does. Conveniently, it lights up just in time to burn the sleep powder away.

Happy then counters with a double-edge attack and it then barely avoids Cyndaquil's flame wheel. Richie then calls for stun spore which paralyzes Cyndaquil. Then Happy is ordered to finish it off with a tackle. Ash yells the cuddly widdle fire mouse to look out and things in fact don't look good. But then Cyndaquil uses a flamethrower and blasts Happy out of the sky. It's lots of fun to see Richie's Butterfree get burnt to a crisp just like it was fun to see Sappy the crappy Butterfree get electrocuted like a light bulb in the other match.

Happy is down and "unable to battle" and Cyndaquil wins. Cyndaquil is ecstatic because it won its first Johto league match and at a crucial time to boot. So then Richie becomes the dick that he is and shouts, "Hey! If you want to play with fire... then I've got some fire power for you..... Zippo go!!!" And the imitation Charizard comes out with a roar.

Cyndaquil, outsized by the massive Zippo, back up in fear. Misty yells up in the stands with her arm around Brock, "Oh no that Charizard's too powerful for Cyndaquil.." "What will Ash do?", continues Brock. "Cnydaquil!", yells Ash, "I trust you...... I know you can stand up to that Charizard, don't be frightened by its size."

After Ash's patented little boy pep talk, Cyndaquil steps back up and stares down Zippo.

<cue commercial>

"I don't believe it.... Ash is going to stay with Cyndaquil!" remarks Tracey during the staredown. "Is he crazy!" yells Misty.

The ref yells to begin and the two come out fighting. Cyndaquil dodges Zippo's flamethrowers with agility and then smokescreen. Zippo is now in peril because he can't see or hit the agile lil' Dodgemaster Brandon look alike. Cyndaquil then begins to attack the Choadizard. It uses a flame wheel and a couple of quick attacks on Zippo.

"Wow... I'm impressed", states Tracey, "Cyndaquil is actually doing pretty well." "Ash did one hell of a job training that Cyndaquil." adds Brock.

But Richie would bitch to Zippo cuz its losing to a puny little fire mouse. He then has Zippo counter with magnitude.... which is a very powerful ground attack. This sends Cyndaquil flying and it is on its back almost knocked out. Richie tries to have Zippo win with a flamethrower and Misty cuts in to shout, "Oh no!" but before he can do that.... Ash calls Cyndaquil back so he doesn't go down yet.

So then Ash calls out Totodile to deal with the flaming (in more ways than one) pokemon. Misty up in the stands shouts, "Yes! Totodile will do it!" A humbler, wiser Brock replies, "Don't be so sure Misty, Charizard is still a lot more powerful than Totodile."

Totodile misses with a water gun when Charizard takes to the sky and it then dive bombs it a couple of times. Totodile bites it to slow it down....but Richie has the dancing, happy, and insane pokemon defeated with a fire spin. Ash pleads for Totodile to get up and.........

Writer's Note: It has come to my understanding that the second half of this episode that I wrote earlier did not appear on this version for this site. Therefore, I have decided to briefly summarize the rest of this episode and what happened with this battle and immediately afterwards.

SUMMARY OF THE REST OF THE EPISODE: After Zippo beat Totodile, Ash sends out Pikachu. Richie calls back Zippo and throws out his punk ass Sparky. Pikachu beats the living hell out of Sparky and then Richie sends out his Rhydon. Pikachu gets called back and Ash sends out Noctowl who defeats Rhydon looking doped as usual. Richie then uses Tentacool who is fortunate to upset Noctowl. So Ash sends out Heracross who was the hero from the fifth round battle and he takes care of Tentacool. So then with all his other pokemon eliminated, Richie sends out ..... Tyler <snicker> the Tyranitar. Despite his sissy name, the Tyranitar kicks some serious booty defeating Heracross and then finishing off Cyndaquil after the infantile mouse pokemon put up a good effort in what had to be the biggest battle mismatch ever. Then Pikachu takes on Tyranitar and thinks it's got him with a thunderbolt attack until it turns Tyler red as Ash sees that it's Tyranitar's rage attack. Tyranitar uses its rage to ultimately beat Pikachu leaving Ash with just the mystery pokemon he asked to join him from the last episode. So Ash releases the mystery pokemon which is revealed as...........

CHARIZARD!!!

Are you surprised?...... why, you moron?? What other pokemon does Ash have that's so unbeatable?!

So after a grueling match, Ash's Charizard beats Tyler the Tyranitar and Ash and Charizard and Pikachu celebrate their biggest victory ever. So chalk up another mighty God-like accomplishment for the great Charizard. But that little sneak Richie shocks Ash and Charizard by throwing out Zippo who wasn't defeateed yet. So Charizard, who is totally spent after beating Tyranitar, has to face by comparison, the much fresher Zippo in a Charizard vs. Charizard battle. Zippo pushes Charizard to the limit and drains him out..... BUT YOUR BITCH AIN'T GOIN OUT LIKE THAT!!!

Charizard defeats Zippo too only cementing the mighty fire beast's legacy making Ash the winner and Richie the loooooooooooooossseeeeeerrr. Ash celebrates his victory with all the others and even Richie who annoys us by being a good sport, not even being upset in public, and coming along to hang with Ash. Then soon after, Ash says thanks and goodbye to Charizard who flies back for some more Charla lovin'.

As far as TR's appearances in the rest of the episode, they end up landing in the stadium where they're injured. They get taken to a makeshift medical facility within the stadium building where they watch the rest of the twerp's battle with Richie. There is the common TR bickering and classy one-liners and Wobbuffet wobbing but no major points of dodginess worth mentioning here. This episode is more about that miserable little Richie losing to Ash and righting that wrong anyway.

Then Ash and Richie part ways (No crying is heard). As Richie walks down the street one way, Ash walks down the street with his mom, Old Man Oak, Brock, Tracey, Misty, Pikachu and Justin cluelessly admiring his friend and annoying pimple on the face of the Earth. "Do you think I'll see Richie again, soon?", he asks. His mom replies, "I'm sure we will, Ash", while we see the three Pokemopolis dodgemasters in a Pokemopolis van running over Richie in the background....

"....I'm sure we will", finishes Delia Ketchum assuringly.