Dragonitemare presents

Pokemon Crystal series

Ep. 61

One day removed from Cris-tal winning her fifth badge, largely thanks to Sandshrew, the threesome finding themselves arriving at the grand ole'...... VISITORS LODGE!!!

Which is the designating welcoming center for......... THE SAFARI ZONE!!!

"Well Sandshrew and Pikachu, here we are..... ah, the Safari Zone!", announces Cris-tal who looks just as stoned as the day she was introduced donning her blue polo fleece jacket and athletic sweat pants. "This place is just so cool! I'm surprised I haven't been to this place to catch pokemon more often", comments Justin wearing more casual clothes and denim jeans. And to complete the fashion police report for today, Misty is sporting a Corsola pink tee shirt and some of those popular Mudd denim short shorts... the kind Misty's gotta start Nair-ing for one of these days. She tells them that it shouldn't come as a surprise that she's interested in seeing some of the Safari Zone's rare pokemon like maybe even Dratini.

She then turns jittery with glee and says, "Hopefully today, I can fish out myself one of the legendary dragon type pokemon. Ohhhh... I can't wait! Then I'll have a dragon pokemon just like yours", turning to Justin. "Ahh-hahahahaaaa.. ha haaaahh well... huh huh...", grins Justin pretending to be embarrassed, "It's just like they say.... Mankey see, Mankey do." "Misdreeeeavuuus!", yells Misdreavus popping out from behind Justin surprising him trying to make a move on him. "Nooo... I didn't do anything! There's no Mankey anywhere. Please!", pleads Justin falls to the ground in horror and Misdreavus follows him.

...... :/ you ever hear that once upon a time, this was a show for kids?

Misty then generalizes, "Well at least I won't have a Misdreavus like yours... I'll take just plain ol' confusing Psyduck as my source of stress and embarrassment, thank you." "Mis-dreee", croons Misdreavus happy to be down with Justin but he can't take anymore and rises up pissed off at Misdreavus. "Grrr... my temper is getting shorter everyday with you. Now return!", grumbles Justin calling back his disorderly ghost pokemon into his pokeball. Misty then asks her good friend Crystal what she's going to do while they're in the Safari Zone. Crystal answers that she's going to talk to everybody (i. e. Ash, her mom, Prof. Oak, local cocaine gangs) about her recent internationally televised gym battle while they're indoors. She also claims that it's going to be awhile so she can tell everyone about the exciting details of what she, Sandshrew, and Pikachu have done.

"Oh... okay", says Misty solemnly as she then suggests that she can spend a little bit of time catching up on her fishing in one of the Safari Zone ponds while she talks to everyone about the TV appearance. "Pika-chuuu", says Pikachu as Misty remarks that it's okay and then asks Justin if he wants to keep her company (as eye candy). "Actually Misty, I was planning on staying around here and doing some college work and pokemon training on my own. I really have some critical due dates for college admissions and I just have to figure out a way of how to control Misdreavus", Justin replies. Now of course, Justin may actually be planning on doing all that with the technological capabilities of the Safari Zone lodge, which is quite impressive.... but I still haven't heard of bigger bullsh*t for coming up with an excuse for not going along with a pretty young lady. I mean..... seriously. So with that, Misty doesn't mind and says that she's going to go out for a little while on her own to do some fishing and exploring and then asks Cris-tal for permission to bogart her pokedex like they're a bag of nachos. But since Crystal and Misty really care for each other, Crystal has no problem with her borrowing the pokedex so she can identify any unfamiliar pokemon she may come across during her solo escapade. "All right thanks.... I'll take good care of it", Misty says. Justin and Cris-tal then tells Misty, "See ya later!" "Saaaanshrew shrew shrreeew!", says Sandshrew while Pikachu yells, "Pikaaaah piiii!"

<cue intro>

Moments later, Misty arrives at what looks like a rather pretty pond with some jagged rocks sticking out of it under mostly cloudy skies. "Look at all those rocks. There's bound to be some pokemon here... maybe even one of the three types of legendary water dragons!", Misty remarks to herself (since she's by herself) as the thought of catching a Dratini, Dragonair, or Dragonite makes her as excited as a screaming Beatles fan just like you ol' Aunt Thelma was. Thus, Misty sits down her camping blanket to do some solo fishing in the process, decides to let all of her pokemon out for a swim.... at least those that can anyway. And so, Corsola, Staryu, and Seadra dive into the water with no trouble whatsoever. Psyduck on the other hand, has his usual troubles staying afloat and thus is forced to go onto the side of the pond along with its land-locked partner, Togetic.

But oh poor Psyduck, its head is tortured further as even Togetic takes the luxury of enjoying a birdbath leaving the yellow quacker as the lone sitting duck off the pond (yes... I know, the PUN-ishment... don't berate me to death about it). Misty then also decides that it's time to break out her weapon of choice that's going to make the difference, the deadly-effective doom impending tool Misty followers know all too well (coughMMDMrBIGcough). "My version 5.01 SUPER MISTY LURE!!", she announces before quietly disclaiming, "There were a few kinks with the original version 5 but nothing I couldn't work out in my spare time... <resumes talking to herself normally(?)> Alright.... it's time to fish out another Misty-caliber water pokemon! Especially since I currently have a vacancy in my roster <resumes disclaimer voice> not that it's that important to me but I'm just sayin'." "Toge toge-trrrrric!" chirps Togetic rolling its catch cry right of its tongue.

Another valuable lesson for the kids to learn... it's perfectly okay to have a funny and intelligent conversation with yourself for minutes at a time.

We then see the line with the mini-Misty plunge down into the depths of the pond which is much deeper than it looks. It looks rather empty for the moment as most of the apparently abundant safari zone pokemon are hiding beneath the rocks or something. But then, we suddenly see an upclose image of something rubbery pressing up against one of the walls of rock that towers up from the bottom of the pond to above the water surface. The straining noises seem to perceive that something can't move or is stuck to or inside this rock. Any suspicions that this mysterious rubber thing may be in trouble is realized as we then hear a loud upset and wailing, ".ooPAAAAAAHHHHH!" "That's funny, I thought I heard something underwater", replies Misty calmly to the apparent illusion of sound. "Psyy?", wonders Psyduck tilting his big head as Misty figures that it wasn't anything....

.... unlike Team Rocket which is definitely something. And especially since for once, they've used their heads and figured that the twerps would head to the Safari Zone soon after the nationally televised pokemon battle with Fuchsia Gym heiress Janine. Additionally.... they've taken the rare step of arriving in this episode with ALL of their pokemon out to help in the Safari Zone hunt. Arbok, not-Koffing, Victreebel, Dunsparce, Qwilfish (being carried in the divot between not-Koffing's two heads), and of course, the patiently pleased Wobbuffet. "Well looky here... these could be pika-prints. You just knew that those twerps couldn't help but to seek out some more rare pokemon in the Safari Zone, didn't you Jess?", James asks. "I figured that out, yes indeed.... now we've just got to set our sights on some twerpy pokemon", replies Jessie as James quips that, "I'm keeping an extra radar lock on Pikachu and Sandshrew." Hmmm, it must be a new term we'll be seeing the trendy gays use soon. But seriously, if even half the gay population had a speck of knowledge about Eric Stuart and James, he'd be worshipped up there right next to Madonna and Liza Manelli.

But Meowth is less worried about finding pokemon and more worried about finding food.... a typical plotline for a TR escapade though this time, it turns out a little differently. "Yeah... you kin go on ya wild poke-hunt dere but I'm more interested in fillin' my stomach wit' some grub right now!", Meowth shouts. Jessie then turns her brain off apparently and replies, "But Meowth, we're about to take a fun hike into the Safari Zone hills..." "And the air there is cleaner and more refreshing than anywhere else in Kanto", adds James. Clean air?.... romantic setting?.... I wonder if James has come up here before, sneak away from Jessie for a few minutes and..... well you have the idea. "We may even run into the twerps and go all out with our Team Rocket forces here to snatch Pikachu and Sandshrew", Jessie tries to persuade Meowth. "Woooooobbbuuhhffet!", agrees Wobbuffet accepting the salutations for the TR pokemon group.

But Meowth isn't having any of that at the moment triggering one of the most ingenious punchlines I could ever come up with. "I done care uhbout ya stupid escapades, I'm goin' tuh do some fishin'!", Meowth yells.... that was NOT the punchline. "Fishing?", wonders Jessie. James then reminds him, "Can't you be a team player and give in to our demands?" HERE'S the punchline! "Sorry, but when I don't see FOOD uhround anyuh vus, den it's my puhrogative to get myself some SEAfood. I'm finding a pond en grabbin' a bite tuh eat", Meowth quips as he turns to walk away. An annoyed Jessie begins to encourage him to walk away like so many other villainous cowards, until to her shock and anger, she sees all of J & J's pokemon walkin' with Meowth. Thus, Jessie scolds her pokemon demanding to know what they're thinking or not thinking.

"Chaaarrrr-bok", replies Arbok as Meowth translates that they're saying that they're in agreeance with him just as they're sharing hunger with him. "So this is a mutiny over not getting as much food as we've been getting...", says Jessie stone-faced. "Woooobbuuuhh woooobb", confirms Wobbuffet saluting its master again. "Qwilllfsshhh", adds the spiky water pokemon lodged into Weezing in a very strange way so it can navigate out of the water. "Ya Qwilfish suggests dat you should've shared dat club sandwich ya ate buhfore we got 'ere, Jimmy", then states Meowth triggering another goofy gay reaction from James. "Share that sandwich?? With all that creamy horseradish, you're out of your mind!", he shouts sounding delightfully campy.

Make of his love for creamy horseradish what you will... you can tell that I have, right?

"It's all your fault that you didn't come through and earn your keep of grub", James then continues defiantly at his pokemon.... until he gets attacked by his screaming Victreebel in the usual manner triggering more weird James noises. "We'z outta here. We'll be back wit' da catch uh duh day!", Meowth then declares as all the pokemon slither, float, and bounce away downhill. "Can you bring us back a little Remoraid fillet?", wonders Jessie introducing the world to pokemon as a delicacy. "If ya lucky..... if we still tink you desoive it?", yells back Meowth as they disappear down the hill that TR was hiking up.

As the TR rift is realized, our main heroine for the day is quietly singin' one of those Ashanti tunes in a ploy by the writers to bring Pokemon closer to the mainstream... imagine the nerve of that!! "Your lips.... thoose eeeyes...", are the lyrics we hear out of tough guy wannabe Ja Rule as Misty's various water pokemon swim to the beat of the song as Misty finishes the line, ".... love the way you look at me, baaaby!" But Misty is still dipping her fishing rod into the lake curiously waiting for a bite....

...c'mon.. that's just too easy!

As the professionally manufactured hip hop plays along in the background, Misty sits up, pushes her bowl cut hair aside to wonder why she hasn't caught anything yet. As she studies the way the water is moving along the pond with Psyduck snoozing next to her, she determines through all her aqua expertise that there's something not quite right with this pond... and in fact... she goes a step further to think that maybe there's something wrong. "This pond is giving me a strange vibe", states Misty as apparently, Crystal's goodies are giving Misty illusions of even the most innocent things like open ponds.

But then out of nowhere, Corsola comes out of the water frantically trying to get Misty's attention shouting, "Corsola corsola corsola corsola!" Misty gasps and then asks Corsola what the problem is. "Corsola corsola!", replies the temperamentally frantic Corsola to imply to Misty that the problem is...... below (cue the spinetingling music). Staryu and Seadra then join Corsola with Togetic fluttering up above them. "Something's wrong in there?", asks Misty to which Staryu replies with a, "HYAH!" "Can you lead me to what the problem is?", asks Misty and Corsola nods and then dives underneath the water followed by Misty and the rest of her swimming water pokemon.

Swimming around at the bottom of the pond, Misty is looking for whatever the problem could be before a loud painful cry and directive shouting by Corsola showing what horrified Corsola. And this turns out to be not a dead body, or a copy of Playboy, or even a dead anything. But rather, Misty spots a blue sperm-like pokemon with a painful expression on its face as if its taking the world's biggest dump ever. She realizes that this is a Wooper and that it is stuck for one reason or another in a crevice in the giant rock as the tall statuesque rock in the middle of this pond seems to be pressing the head of this Wooper into the ground. Realizing that this is a pokemon emergency, Misty does the first thing that a pokemon trainer should do according to pokemon world emergency experts. That is, to get out a pokedex which in this case was borrowed from Cris-tal and to get as much useless information about this relatively new pokemon as necessary for the dumbass 8 year old viewers.

Wooper - the Water Fish Pokemon - When Wooper walks around, on the ground, it coats its, body, with a slimy, poisonous film.

Alertly, Misty then tries to dislodge Wooper first by pushing the 1000 ton rock and then just as quickly tries to see if she can pull Wooper out somehow..... either by grabbing its television antennae-like antlers or by pushing and pulling on its head. Quickly realizing that the Ash Ketchum approach isn't working, Misty decides to retreat back up to the surface before she runs out of air. She swims back to the shore and tells all her water pokemon that the poor Wooper is stuck underneath that rock and if they don't work together and find a way to save it, then the poor widdle Woopuh will suffocate <sniff>. She then tries to talk herself into a workable strategy until her brain clicks on realizing that she can just catch it in a pokeball and save it that way.

So as she rummages through her purse for extra pokeballs, Meowth and the rest of the TR pokemon make their way down the hill and happen to spot the redheaded twerps along with her pokemon. "Ahh... dere's a lake fuh us to go fishin' with.... and look.... I tink it's dat twoip and her pokeemon", comments Meowth, "Hmm... I dun see Sanshrew, Pikachu, or da othuh twoips dere." "Dunspuht", chirps Jessie's Dunsparce as it slithers away to get a closer look at Misty's water pokemon before Meowth grabs it by the tail and scolds it for wandering away. "We have a chance tuh snatch some primo watuh pokemon en show Jessie en James how stupid it was fuh dem tuh take dere stupid hike intuh da mountains!", declares Meowth like a war general ready for a fight as he then asks who's with him. But to his shock, he looks up and sees his pokemon colleagues dispersing uninterested in obeying Meowth because mainly, as in the giant robotic pokemon episode with the subtitles, Meowth can't command them.

So with that, Meowth is forced to negotiate with them... or wait, better yet, try a little persuasion. He tells them all that the twerps pokemon don't want to share with them but rather, if they step foot near the pond, they'll get booted out. Actually, Meowth is probably telling the truth cuz after all, the twerps have been unfairly sinister to TR at times. "AAAHHHHaahhhAAHHHH!?", screams Victreebel making Meowth hurriedly shush the head swallower. "Yeah... I can't tell ya all da times dey robbed us uh delicious stolen food", sobs Meowth, "But da bottom line is ya can't trust 'em!" "Woooooobbuuuh woooobb", replies Wobbuffet making Meowth tell them to just follow his lead.

Meanwhile, Misty finally gets one of her pokeballs out of a plastic bag of pokeballs in her purse. "Found 'em..... now to catch that Wooper!", declares Misty who immediately gets bounded by metal links around her shoulders and ankles unable to move. "Heeeey... what's the big idea of this?", she asks as Meowth emerges from the bushes to laugh at her and quip, "Well look what da Meowth brought in!" "Meowth!.......... Let me go right now!", declares Misty gettin' her bitch on. "Sorry sistuh, but we saw dis pond 'ere en we don't want you en your twoipy pokemon gettin' in our way. Derefore, it's time fuh ol' Meowthy tuh boot all of ya outta here!", states Meowth.

"There's a helpless trapped pokemon down at the bottom of that pond and if you don't let me go, it's gonna suffocate and die!", shouts Misty alluding to the trapped Wooper. "Weally? I'd hate fuh dat to happen tuh me, but still, I ain't fallin' fuh dat en lettin' ya go. Buhsides, I can just get Team Rocket tuh carry out a flawless rescue operation once I carry out ya watuhhole eviction!", states Meowth. "The only thing that's gonna happen to you, Meowth, is a swift ejection! Staryu!", cries Misty as the spinning star pokemon spins over to Misty's side to use water gun on Meowth. But then Victreebel leaps in front of Meowth to absorb the water attack and then uses razor leaf to counter against Staryu connecting for damage to the concern of the redhead.

The ugly unhappy purple one then whizzes on by with a smog attack on the area and drops Qwilfish into the pond so it can finally go back into the water.... even if it is in the midst of a smoggy area. Meowth then laughs and proclaims, "HAAAAAAAHHAHAHAAAA! All of us Team Rocket pokemon are working in on dis togethuh. En there's nowhere tuh go but eithuh wit' us or outta here right away!" But then Misty comes up with that sappy inspiration that always gives the kiddie anime protagonists a boost (like Yu-gi-Hole where they always trust in each other and the heart of the cards and junk) as Misty thinks to herself while choking on the smog, "I can't give up. That Wooper is counting on me......" She then proclaims to Meowth that her team can work together just as well not to mention win much more often.

Meowth grumbles towards her direction though the smog prevents him from seeing her as she has Seadra use twister to whirl all the smoke into a cyclone and then sending the smoke away. "Good work, Seadra", Misty tells it as it replies, "Doodoooo!" <giggle> But then Seadra takes a blind side shot of poison stingers from Qwilfish making Meowth laugh aloud. But then Misty orders Corsola to fight Qwilfish with bubblebeam attack which puts Qwilfish down momentarily as the action continues so furiously that I can't even end this sentence with Arbok crying, "Chaaaaaaaa-bok!", lunging for Corsola. But looking up, Misty cleverly counters by having Corsola use harden making its phallic horns as strong as diamonds so when Arbok sinks its teeth into Corsola for a bite attack........ you get the idea...

So with Arbok crying out in pain, chipped teeth and all , Corsola dispatches Arbok by then using spike cannon on it adding some salt to poor Arbok's many wounds over the years. "Corsola corsolaaa!", proclaims Corsola dancing a merry jig in the water kind of like Totodile. But it's short lived as Dunsparce hits the bubblegum colored coral pokemon with mud slap covering Misty's sweet little pink thing with..... uh.... mud. "Corsola!", shouts Misty in concern as she notices Togetic getting in position above Dunsparce from her trapped and bound position on the ground. And so from there, she tells Togetic to use double-edge on Dunsparce as it thus flies down towards the curious land snake like Woodstock coming to dive onto Snoopy. The attack affects both said pokemon, mainly Dunsparce, prompting Misty to wonder about Togetic's condition. But Togetic emerges to prove that it's unharmed. Just then, the action continues with Victreebel's razor leafs barely missing the floating Woodstock-like pokemon.

Misty and Togetic turn to see the yellow bellied bell pokemon approach it as Meowth quips, "Dere's so much action goin' on dat even my head is spinnin'." "Wooooooobbbuuuhhffet", agrees Wobbuffet with a salute standing besides Meowth. Victreebel then lashes out a vine whip at Togetic right when Staryu reemerges and uses an ice beam just in time to freeze Victreebel just before it can vine whip Togetic to the horror of Meowth. At that point, Corsola reemerges and uses its hardened horns for a real purpose, freeing Misty from the metal cuffs that kept her on the ground. "Dat's it! It's time fuh us tuh take care of business ourselves", Meowth tells Wobbuffet himself as he goes for Misty herself. So with all the coordinating she's done with her pokemon, this leaves Misty with a few options with how she can fight Meowth. QUESTION!! Will she....?

A) have Corsola use a bubblebeam attack
B) command Staryu to use a spinning tackle on him
C) have Seadra use dragonbreath to let everyone marvel at the greenness of the attack
D) use Togetic's rollout to cut off Meowth in the air in a possibly dodgy position

The answer is........ none of the above, for something far more humorous happens. Rather than sic one of her pokemon on Meowth, Misty just works up her rage to the point where she readies herself, let's Meowth fly by with his fury swipes and everything he's doing, and then grabs Meowth by the tail(!) and then whips him around while he yells in panic and then Misty throws him forcefully into Wobbuffet and then into Weezing and then into a couple other TR pokemon. With the stage set for another exit, this time for the all-pokemon TR cast. "Alright Seadra, Staryu, time for your water gun attacks!", declares Misty aggressively as Staryu "hya's" and Seadra "doodoooo's" spitting out their water guns at TR's pokemon bunching them together and then up, up, and away.

"Daaaaaaaaahhhh.... we still blew it even witout Jessie en James bumblin' everytiiiiiinng!", shouts Meowth. "Wooooooobbuuuhh wooooobb."

"Great job everybody", says Misty dusting off her designer clothing adding, "You all did a great job in sticking up for yourselves." "Psyyyy-duck", adds Psyduck... the only pokemon not involved in the conflict... as it looks into the pond where the Wooper is still trapped and suffocating apparently. This reminds Misty about Wooper as she gets her supplies ready to dive down to rescue it. "Now we have to go free it", she states.

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon?? (Sandshrew evolves into this hedgehog like pokemon though its not blue like Sonic from the Sega games.)

It's Sandslash!! ..................................... "Saanslash!"

"Woo-PAAA-AAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAH!!", cries out the trapped Wooper in agony awaiting its dramatic rescue. Thus, into the water goes Misty with the breathing apparatus you see on the show whenever anyone goes underwater followed by Staryu, Seadra, and Corsola. "Don't worry Wooper, I'm coming to save you!", she proclaims as she gets out her pokeball and says to herself, "I hope I can use this pokeball underwater." "POKEBALL GO!!", shouts Misty throwing the pokeball as it flies with just as much force as it would soar with on land (???) but all it manages to do is give the Wooper a little bump on the head as the tiny little blue thing cries out, "Woo-paaaahh." "Darn, it won't work. I'm gonna need a lure ball but I don't currently have any. I need another plan", Misty then says to herself.

"Wooooo-paaaahh", cries out Wooper again as Misty sadly tries to reassure it that she'll find some way to get it out. She then rises back to the surface and calls together her pokemon coaching them that if they're going to save that Wooper, she's going to need everybody to work together as a team. "You understand?", asks Misty. And so we hear "Hya!" and "Doo doooo" and "Corsola corsola" and "Toge-trrriiic" and last but not least, a "Psyyyduck" that at least, sounds pretty convincing. "Okay then! The first thing that we have to take care of is how to lift or destroy that giant rock. Corsola! Togetic! Do you think you two can break it up with your attacks?", Misty then asks them. Corsola and Togetic sound as if they can do anything they f*ckin feel like it cuz nobody can touch them.

Meanwhile, on their hike up in the mountains, we see Jessie and James not looking as if they've missed Meowth or any of their other pokemon.... nor are they even looking at each other on this majestic hike on these steep hills. "I wonder how Meowth is faring on his little fishing trip with all our poke-buddies", says James curious about the condition of his buddy Meowth. "I don't know and quite honestly, I could care less about how they're doing right now. I just want to enjoy this quiet moment of relaxation without the big mouth of that little Meowth", replies Jessie. But James states that he feels bad letting all of the pokemon go on their own asking Jessie what if they ran into the twerps without their assistance. "You think Meowth could really nab those twerps' pokemon on his own??", Jessie asks James. "Hmm...", ponders James intuitively, "the odds on that would be abooooouut......"

"Zero", state J & J together assuring us of their lack of confidence in their scratch-cat buddy. "And that's even with the assistance of all our pokemon", adds Jessie.

"But hey... at least if he slips up against the twerps, and if he runs into them he will, then there's no way he can blame us for their failure", reasons James as Jessie looks up towards the sky. "Speaking of our furry friend and his fellow defectors... here they come, I think", adds Jessie as we see a star twinkle and Meowth and the other TR pokemon arrive crashing to the ground. No word on how Jessie was able to see them before they all came into sight in the sky. "Waaaaaaaa-aaaahhh-aaaahhh!!!", screams Meowth while Wobbuffet utters his Wobbu-shout as they all collectively splat into a nearby boulder. "I can see we ran into the twerps, huh?", states James.

Meowth lies dazed and dizzy in a group of piled up TR pokemon in dodgy positions making inaudible muttering noises. "Well... see what happens when you decide to break away from us and go out on your own?", says Jessie didactically. "Uuuuugghh... We almost was able tuh land our lake", remarks Meowth while still stumbling around as he then quips, "... which ruhminds me, are we near a convenience store? Cuz I'm shore we need some buttuh." "Woooooobbuuuhh", adds Wobbuffet to the sudden shopping list. "Sandshrew and Pikachu were just a little too much for your 'well' organized mutiny, huh?", wonders James. Meowth then stutters, "Yeah.. well no not like.. well actually... um yeah but... it was actually one uh da twoips friends... dat uttuh redhead dat beat us." "Well if you can't even beat the poke-duo's watery sidekicks, what makes you think you can do anything without us?", James tells him. "EY! We did a lot more bad as an all-pokemon team den we could evuh do with da duhrection of you two clowns!", shouts back Meowth. "OH YEAH?", shouts back James in his campy voice, "Well you won't like the direction of these arms around your stack-of-dimes of a throat." And thus, James starts to choke Meowth similar to the way that Homer Simpson chokes his son, Bart. Wobbuffet salutes and goes, "Woooooooooobbbuuuuuhhffet!", during this domestic violence situation before Jessie takes charge of the situation.....

... as usual.

"That's enough!!", she yells scheming that if the redhead is there fishing, then she must be after some rare type of Safari Zone water pokemon. "Maybe our pokemon can't stay even with her aquatic associates, but with a little mechanical assistance we can tip the balance, and her pokemon, to our side", says James. "Den let's get wit' da program en our fury on aaaallll uh dem!", says Meowth trying to get the team riled up. "Absolutely!!!", declares Jessie who then takes a pause and adds, "Right after we finish our hike through the Safari Zone plateau..." "The Safari Zone scenery is just too picturesque just to stop hiking on the spot", gayly adds James making Meowth fall over as Wobbuffet continues to salute in front of the untangled group of TR pokemon.

"Corsola", declares Corsola pelting the giant rock trapping the helpless lil' Wooper with spikes from its horns. "Just keep up your spike cannon, Corsola", shouts Misty back underwater with Seadra looking on behind her. She then goes back up to the surface to ask how Togetic's rollout is coming along as she sees it crashing into the giant boulder with its rollout to try and break it up. "Toge toge", replies Togetic to indicate that the pain it's going through is not producing equal results. Concerned that it may break a few vertebrae and end up a la Mr. Ketchum, Misty suggests that it take a break and let Staryu soak it a little more with its water gun before proceeding and if it is in fact, too much trouble then it shouldn't hurt itself further by smashing into the big boulder.

Yeah... let's see Misty try to direct Togepi like that..... <author giggles in sarcasm..... goes on giggling like a loser>

"Psyyy?? Duck?", says Psyduck who's once again confused............. again. Misty just tells Psyduck that she really needs it to get its psychic powers going somehow so it can help free that Wooper. Speaking of that choking Wooper... shouldn't it have suffocated by now?? Oh well... I guess its trachea is not as cut off as everyone believes.

So Misty's pokemon continue to chip away at the towering boulder in the middle of the pond as little by little, the Wooper turns blu um... whoops, my bad... starts to finally begin passing out cuz of being stuck underwater. "Come on guys, there's not much time left!", pleads Misty as everything starts getting dramatic. She then goes back underwater to find some way to maneuver a 100 ton boulder embedded into the ground to create enough space to free the Wooper. Staryu and Seadra continue to fire their water guns at the big boulder while Corsola and Togetic hammer away at it physically. "Woooo.... paaaa..", weakly cries out Wooper with its air supply running low. "Hang.... in there... Wooper! I'll try to.... jerk you... free", grunts Misty back underwater with everybody now working twice as hard to get the job done.

....Except apparently, for Psyduck who's still confused over all the commotion taking place. "Psyyy??", wonders Psyduck staring into the ground torturing itself mentally with the sight of the pond. The intense thought process of Psyduck looks like it's reached its peak when it's then pushed further when Psyduck hears, "WOOPAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!", through the water to its dry ears. The cry comes from Wooper who cries out really loud one last time with all its energy in desperation. Wooper then officially passes out unable to muster enough energy to retain consciousness to the concern of Misty. "Wooper... no", she worriedly utters when Psyduck on the surface, looks up and its eyes turn blue. Using its intense psychic headache energy, Psyduck concentrates on the enormous boulder. This makes Misty quickly surface to wonder what's happening and she notices what Psyduck is doing.

"Keep it up, Psyduck! You've almost got it!", encourages Misty. "Psyyyyyyyyyduck... psyyyduck psyduck psyduck psyduckpsyduckpsyduckpsyduckpsyduckpsyduckpsyduckpsypsypsypsypsypsypsypsypsypsyyy... PSYYYDUUUUUUCK!", shouts Psyduck turning up the juice as its psychic energy then begins to start cracking the boulder at the points of attack where Misty's other pokemon were focusing on. "It's working!!", gasps Misty as the gigantic boulder cracks and then crumbles into dust due to the powers of Psyduck. "Ahaaaa! Great job Psyduck!", shouts Misty enthusiastically as Psyduck looks up returning to normal and wondering, "Psyyy? Duck?" The Wooper you say?? Watch yo' mouth! But anyway, the trapped Wooper flies up out of the water and then falls back towards the pond. "Wooopaaah", says Wooper softly still weak from suffocating underwater. "Don't worry Wooper, I've gotcha!", shouts Misty swimming underneath Wooper to catch it like a water polo player to bring forth a happy ending.

............. but not so fast!!

Just before the half-dead Wooper falls into the arms of the passionate aquatic redhead, a crane from above grabs the Wooper and starts to pull it up. "AHH!", gasps Misty before recognizing the floating object above as the happy Buddha-faced Meowth balloon to which she yells, "Oh no, it's Team Rocket!" "Doo doooo", adds Seadra for no real purpose other than amusement. TR then does their infamous cackling....

"Prepare for trouble, our heroics are super"
"Make it double, redhead, cuz that lets us keep Wooper"
"To protect the world from devastation"
"To unite all peoples within our nation"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love"
"To extend our reach to the stars above"
"Jessie"
"James"
"Team Rocket flying heroically at the speed of light", says Jessie with a space backdrop donning superhero capes.
"So surrender now or prepare for a colossal fight", adds James with a cape matching his hair color.
"Wooooooooobbuuhhffet!", says Wobbuffet saluting with a red cape and a glittery red headband (James, you diabolically gay fashion genius!). Meowth then super headbutts Wobbuffet away as we see him sporting what looks like a spandex costume with a Meowth face on his shirt and the rest of his costume a glittering black around his furry body.

"That Wooper didn't suffer through all it went through just to leave with you", shouts Misty sounding sour about TR's poke-napping. "Are you shore about dat, twoip?", asks Meowth, "Pokeemon in Peril would love tuh come wit' such darin' adventcharas like us!" "Besides, what pokemon could say 'no' to such jazzy costumes", adds James proving what we already know that he designed the cheesy costumes for the motto. "Oh yeah... well you won't like the daring adventure I'm about to send you three on!", shouts back Misty from the water. "Go ahead, send us away! We'll just take dis little Woopuh wit' us!", says Meowth as Wobbuffet wobbs and TR cackles.

"NO!", shouts Misty as she determinately declares that she has to save that Wooper even though its still an independent pokemon and isn't being kidnapped...... in any way that 'honest' and 'noble' trainers have done before. "Ah yes... and Wooper is just the first of the bevy of pokemon for our picking at this lake", says Jessie who then looks down and quips, "Uh oh", witnessing Misty ascending the tree and trying to get Wooper herself. And thus, to separate the Wooper from TR, Misty does what might be called by some as unthinkable as we see her start to get out of the pond and scale a nearby pine tree to reach TR. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Misty is becoming.....

AN ACTION HERO!! (Now those 3 peso an hour, sweat shop constructed Misty action figures from Toys R Us will have some value)

"Hang on, Wooper. I coming for you", decrees Misty as Wooper looks on uncertainly at the redhead who perhaps may be threatened by this girl trying to kidnap it from its heroes, TR. "Woo-paaaaah?!?", unsettlingly cries Wooper. With Wooper a short distance away dangling from the happy Buddha-faced Meowth balloon, Misty thinks to herself that she can get to Wooper with one big jump. "I gotcha Wooper!", shouts Misty jumping from the top of the pine tree making Wooper say, "Woopaaah." "Duh oh... I tink dat da twoip is in fuh my little.... readjustment!", states Meowth pulling on the chain to make the fire bigger and raise the balloon higher just before Misty can reach Wooper. Desperately reaching, a close-up of her hands shows that she misses the cord hanging the crane that's grabbing Wooper by its throat by about just a few centimeters or inches (take your pick of measurement). "WAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!", yells Misty fearing she may be taking a death plunge and for a moment it seems so.

But just then, she is caught in the grasp of Togetic even though Misty's way too heavy for the tiny bird pokemon. So Misty and Togetic are still falling when Staryu and Seadra take the initiative to help support Misty with their water guns acting as a counter-force against gravity pulling her and Togetic down. "Ahaaa", laughs Misty excitedly and thrilled about her roller coaster ride as the water gun air support is totally soaking her crotch, "Nice work, you guys! Togetic... pull me up to that balloon!" So Togetic uses the assist by Mother Nature to take Misty up towards the happy Buddha-faced Meowth balloon. Misty reaches Wooper and hangs onto the line holding it causing the balloon to rock. "Aaahhhh... we've got a twerp on the end of our line", quips James as Misty replies, "Not for long." "Dis feels like an amusement ride", comments Meowth. "Woooobbuuuh wooooob", then comments Wobbuffet keeping its salute while being thrown around the balloon.

Misty then tells Wooper to hang on cuz they're going to take a dive and in a scene right out of a 007 Bond movie, she separates the cord from the balloon by unlatching it and then Misty grabs Wooper and plunges into the pond below. Once they resurface, Misty asks Wooper if it's alright and the tiny little sperm-type thing says, "Woopaaah", sullenly indicating that it's going to be okay, but it's not fully recovered from its ordeal yet. "Daaaah! She pulled da great escape wit' our stolen Woopuh", gasps Meowth. Jessie then sneers and states, "Not for long. Arbok, go get them!" Jessie then throws her pokeball down towards the pond sending Arbok down towards the water. "You too, Victreebel!", shouts James causing Victreebel to go after James like usual along with the usual weird noises that James makes associated with the cliched joke. Seeing Arbok descending with Victreebel soon to follow, Misty responds, "Uh oh... Seadra, let's go!"

"Doo doo!", replies Seadra as Arbok uses its poison sting, which comes out as wimpy this time. This allows Seadra to evade them easily by using its smokescreen to hide itself underwater. James then manages to escape Victreebel's clutches and remarks, "The day you stop doing that will be the day I get back my respectability... now GET DOWN THERE!", and throws Victreebel down towards the pond. Seadra then uses its dragonbreath on Arbok attacking him with a pretty cool green mist making Arbok cry out in shock and pain. "Victreebel, use your vine whip!!", shouts James apocalyptically and Victreebel obeys slapping Seadra with its yellow vine while floating in the water. "Seadra!", gasps Misty as Victreebel approaches her.

And it's something about this situation that gets Wooper into the mood to kick some ass. "Hurry Seadra, hea... huh?", wonders Misty before noticing Wooper racing ahead to show respect for Misty helping to free it from TR's clutches. Wooper then sends some kind of energy through the water which ends up hitting Victreebel right back into TR's balloon basket where Jessie, James, Meowth, and Wobbuffet are waiting. With James eeee-ing for his Victreebel, Jessie grumbles about the little blue pipsqueak and tries to have Arbok try to attack Wooper from behind, but Misty helps out Wooper by having Staryu use water gun on Arbok which sends Arbok towards the happy Buddha-faced Meowth balloon as well. And then to bring down TR a whole peg, she then has Staryu freeze all of them in place with an ice beam attack bringing the balloon down next to the pond. "I thought our team worked just as well as hers", quips James. But Jessie shouts back in the ice block, "Well, her team does work very well together... almost as well as her friend's pokemon team." "Yeah, but nobody kin say dat dey stick tuhgether en do more stuff wit' each other den us..... like blastin' off", says Meowth sourly. "WOOOOOOBBBUUUHH WOOOOBB!", adds Wobbuffet in a frozen salute as finally, Wooper uses another slam attack to bust through the ice and send TR flying outta here.

"Looks like Team Rocket's been blasted off agaaaaaaain" and then softly we hear, "Woooobb", before their star twinkles.

"Oh my God, that was awesome Wooper!", proclaims Misty swimming back towards shore. "Woopaaaah woopah", answers Wooper with Psyduck standing right next to it give him a 'wings up' telling Wooper, "Psyyyyduck!" Suddenly though, Wooper begins to tire from the hours of suffocation and tense moment of being snatched and then taking a giant plunge and passes out from exhaustion. "Aww... poor Wooper, it's been through so much", says Misty, "If I can catch it in a pokeball, I can take it to the Pokemon Center and get it the care that it needs. But I don't know if it'll trust me enough to let me take care of it. It's going to be up to Wooper." She then hopes to herself that Wooper will let her catch it so she can help it...... and then, of course, show it off more often than a manic-depressed Kathie Lee Gifford showing off her children. "POKEBALL GO!!", shouts Misty hurling the pokeball at the pooped Wooper. Wooper goes into the pokeball without any problem but then the red dot on the pokeball continues to glow as the pokeball rattles around. Misty and her pokemon wait in suspense for a moment and then after one last violent attempt to shake out of the pokeball, Wooper decides to go quietly and the ball settles down with the red dot going away.

"All right!!", cheers Misty as the ecstatic young lady picks up the pokeball and proclaims that they got Wooper. "Psyyy-duck", adds Psyduck as Misty proclaims that they'd better get back to the Pokemon Center. She then turns around and looks at her pokeball saying to herself, "Thank you, Wooper. Thank you for believing in me." How touching..... it's a shame that she didn't actually say it... even if pokemon can't hear through pokeballs. That's a mystery that most are still trying to figure out...... if anyone gives a f*ck, of course.

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon?? (I swear to God, this pokemon can be mistaken for a rock if looked at from the wrong angle.)

It's Rhyhorn!! ............................. <moaning> "Rrrrrrrraaa!"

Later on, Misty returns to the Pokemon Center to brag about.... er, get care for her new pokemon as the MIA's for this episode, Cris-tal, Justin, Sandshrew, and Pikachu return and find Misty in the Pokemon Center. Misty looks like she's right out of the shower as she's all dried up. "Heeey... there you are! I was getting a little worried that you forgot about us", Crystal tells her. Misty giggles and tells them not to be ridiculous. "Saaaashrew", responds Sandshrew while Crystal tells them that she's overwhelmed about the compliments she got for winning the televised gym battle. "And I applied to three more schools today! Plus if I get in, I'll get a scholarship for being on their pokemon trainer's squad", adds Justin. "That's great", responds Misty as Crystal asks her how her fishing expedition went.

You may be guessing that Misty would be salivating at this opportunity to tell her story.... and you're probably right.

"Well, things were getting pretty shaky and tense for quite a moment, but in the end, everything came out just fine thanks to some help", replies Misty. Nurse Joy then comes out with Wooper and tells Misty that Wooper's test went well and that it will make a full recovery. What?? You were expecting Nurse Joy to announce that Wooper had cancer of its little antennae? "Hey, Nurse Joy", greets Justin with a big smile on his face as Pikachu greets her as well. "Sounds like Wooper went through quite an ordeal", says Crystal picking up on what's gone on in this episode. "Indeed, but at least it's safe thanks to your friend, Misty", answers Nurse Joy. "Misty would always help anybody in need", Crystal says smiling at her friend in some weird, dodgy way. "You guys should really give credit to Wooper... it had the toughness to hang in there despite the odds", Misty says looking at her Wooper.

..... I'm getting the sense that this is gonna have some freaky possibilities with Wooper's slimy skin... and the fact that it's name is Wooper.

"Woo-paaah", says Wooper greeting the rest of the threesome as Pikachu welcomes the dodgy blue pokemon. "Wooper here made my efforts worthwhile", Misty says while cuddling her Wooper who just sits there in her arms like a clueless puppy. "I'm sure the incentive of getting a cute new water pokemon was also a little bit of a factor", Justin then announces sliding onto the screen. "Misdreeeeavus!", then says Misdreavus popping out from behind Justin unsettling him again. "Yes yes... you're also a cute pokemon, too. You happy?", Justin says to satisfy his master ghost pokemon. "Mis-dreeeee", concludes Misdreavus. Wooper cries out again as Cris-tal tells it that, "It's cool to have ya on board, Wooper." "Now we can go explore the rest of the Safari Zone", then says Justin with Misdreavus hovering over him like a mind control device. "Yeah", agrees Crystal with Pikachu, Sandshrew, and Wooper standing beside them. And thus, we go to the mandatory scene where the twerps leave the Pokemon Center with Nurse Joy waving bye to them as they go explore the rest of the Safari Zone.

The only difference this time is that now, they've got a Wooper who can leave its mark of dodginess wherever they go.... get it??