Dragonitemare presents

Pokemon Crystal series

Ep. 68

After Team Rocket's reunion with their long lost partner, Mondo, the twerps have moved on and have reached Mount Moon and are ready to explore its vast depths of spaced out Clefairyness. "Well you guys, we've made it to Mt. Moon. It looks even better than I thought it would", comments Cris-tal looking like she's spaced out, "Sooo, what should we do now?" Misty looks at her Mt. Moon brochure and informs them that there's an observation deck, a picnic area, and a mountain trail that will take them all the way around the mountain and that whatever they choose is fine with her. "Hmmm... I'm up for all three options. I just can't decide which one I want to pick", says Justin. "Misdreeeaavus", bellows Misdreavus surprising Justin coming out of her pokeball. "I'm not even talking about pokemon and even if I was, my pick would probably not have been you", replies Justin getting all annoyed and bitchy as he then calls Misdreavus back.

Something that is pretty nice for our Team Rocket to observe as they watch the twerps from a nearby cliff right behind them. "Hmmm... da twoips appear tuh be stuck on sometin", figures Meowth. "Maybe they're lost", figures James. "Well they seem to have lost focus or regard for their pokemon and in my sudden rage of impatience, I impulsively suggest that we act now and launch our trap on them while they're in their little lull", says Jessie in no mood for any critical thinking tonight. "Ehhh.... I guess why not", answers Meowth apathetical as Wobbuffet springs out from its pokeball with the usual salute. "Woooooooooooobbbuuuhhffet!", says Wobbuffet as Jessie shouts that they go get Sandshrew and Pikachu. "Aye aye!", responds James and Meowth.

<cue intro>

"This trail is about an hour long, everyone sure that they can hold up walking that long?", asks Misty looking through the brochure as they travel through a mountain ravine. "Saaaanshrew shrew. Shrrrrew!", shouts Sandshrew enthusiastically as he is confident that his Pikachu can keep him going. Suddenly, the trail begins to shake making Cris-tal wonder what is causing the rumbling. "You guys, look up there!", points out Misty as they see a rope pulling a giant stone slab that drops right into ravine blocking the twerps path. "That pointy slab of stone just blocked out way.... and it's heading for us", notices Crystal as something is pushing the huge block of rock towards them. "Let's turn back!", alertly says Justin as the girls agree. But then another slab of stone falls into the ravine on the other side trapping the twerps as both stone blocks begin to close in on the threesome. "Oh no... they're gonna both crash right into us", fears Misty as the threesome all yells, "WAAAAAAAHHHHH!!", fearing this might be the end just like that. But then suddenly the two stone blocks.......

Stop!.... they just stop.... just a few feet short of mashing the twerps into chopped meat. "It.... stopped", wonders Justin looking up in confusion with Pikachu gasping out in shock. "Now what?", wonders Misty as Crystal perceives that the stone blocks have trapped them as if they fell into a hole. The last word is key as it makes Crystal display an anime sweatdrop as she looks at the cliff in total stupor. "Ohhh boy... guess who's about to greet us", says Crystal with a look of embarrassment on her face as we hear the cackling of TR while a tape recorder gets tossed down to them. "Huh?", wonders the threesome as Justin notices the note that says, "Press Play." "Umm, okay?", says Crystal looking weirded out, spaced out, stoned, etc., and she presses the play button which features the voices of TR. "Beeeep!", beeps the tape player.

"Prepare for trouble but not a reward!"
"Make it double, we chose to record"
"To protect the world from devastation"
"To unite all peoples within our nation"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love"
"To extend our reach to the stars above"
"Jessie"
"James"
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight"
"Wooooooobbbuuhhffet!", says Wobbuffet on the recording as TR shouts to them, "You're not supposed to be a part of this tape!" "Gimme dat mic!", shouts Meowth as we hear the struggle between TR and their patiently pleased Wobbuffet. "Wooooobbuuhh woooobb", says Wobbuffet as James remarks, "Eeeee! This isn't.... Pokemon.... Karaokemon." "Rrrrggh... Give someone else a turn and stop wasting.... our... patience", shouts Jessie as we hear her trying to get the mic for herself. "I want dat micraphone!", Meowth insists. "WOOOOOOOOOBBBUUUHH!", states Wobbuffet as the tape beeps, "Beeeeeep!", to signify the end of the tape.

"Ahaa, hope you liked our little recording", says Jessie peering over at the threesome from on top of the hole they made. "That was innovative and useful", beams James with a smile as he then pauses and asks the twerps, "Saaaay, do you think we could have that back? We could use it again at a future time and place." "What are you doin this time?", asks an annoyed Cris-tal. Jessie then answers her, "Ha! Rather than digging another hole, we decided to close you in like this and make a pitfall another way without doing any digging." "We're tinkin' outside da hole!", quips Meowth as he looks down to the twerps. "Wooooobbuuhhffeeet", then says Wobbuffet saluting down to the twerps. "Wanna grab dere poke-duo?", asks Meowth. "Can do!", squeals James sounding as gay as could ever sound as they turn around to go get something out of their equipment to get something to capture Sandshrew and Pikachu in. But before they can say 'Gotcha!', they hear something slam down to the ground causing it to shake. When they turn around, they notice the imposing presence of Justin's Dragonite staring at them making them panic. The threesome is also behind them as they must have clung onto the time warp of a weird orange pokemon to get out of the hole TR made.

"Listen Team Rocket, I'm not in the mood to deal with your foolishness tonight. I ain't gonna wait around and let you make fools out of yourselves, this scheme is over!", shouts Justin defiantly. "What?? Just like that?!", wonders James. "Wooooooobbuuhh!", adds Wobbuffet as Justin goes to have Dragonite use its hyper beam on TR. But Crystal tries to stop Dragonite by running out to it and telling Justin, "Justin wait! You may hit the pokemon up on Mt. Moon." But she's too late as Dragonite goes, "Rooooorrrrrrwwww!", and charges up a mighty hyper beam aimed at Team Rocket. "We can't lose already! Wobbuffet, counter attack!", says Jessie anxiously as Wobbuffet poises itself. "HUH?", gasps Crystal in fear as Wobbuffet tries its hardest to counter the attack. The patiently pleased one sweats, resists, grunts, "WOOOOOOOOOOOBB!", and in the end, the hyper beam goes everywhere. "Crystal, LOOK OUT!", shouts Misty as part of the attack comes right towards her and her two pokemon whom followed her into the line of fire. The attack blasts off not only TR not only in one direction, but also Crystal along with Sandshrew, Pikachu, and Dragonite in another direction as we hear Crystal shout while also forcing Justin and Misty back down into the hole where they land hard down below.

"We're blasting off alreadyyyyyy!" "WOOOOOOOOBBUUHH!"

"Unngh... oww! Uuugh... is everyone alright?!", asks Justin as Misty softly replies that she's a little sore but okay. Justin, who appears to have broken his back as he's holding it as he sits up, then notices, "I guess Team Rocket is gone. Good work Dragonite..... uhhhh Dragonite?", making him look around due to his disco fan pokemon's disappearance and noticing Dragonite is gone. "Justin, I don't see Crystal or Pikachu or Sandshrew anywhere either", states Misty freaking at the disappearance of her friend. And so they call out for 'Cris' and 'Crystal' respectively as well as search for Dragonite, Sandshrew, and Pikachu as well. Meanwhile, up on the Mt. Moon mountainside, we see Crystal lying wounded with the other pokemon that blasted off with her. "Uuunnngghhhh", moans Cris-tal as she fades in and out of consciousness near the top of the mountain. "Huuuuh", she says weakly as she hear the echo of Clefairies and Clefables dancing around nearby. "Cle-fairy?", mutters Crystal before passing out again, a scenario familiar for her. The image of her half-dead on Mt. Moon gets pulled out to reveal how high up she is with nobody around to try and save them. Oh no.... things look bad.... gasp! fear! horror!

"Poor Crystal may be all the way on top of that mountain", sobs Misty. Then a crackly old voice tells them, "If that's the case then I would not want to be her tonight!" "Huh?", they both go as they look around to see who said that but they don't see anybody as they shout, "Who said that?" "Down here!", shouts the old guy as they look down to see a guy with a basket on his head looking up displeased at them that they, the stars of the show only know one height, and...... hey! Holy crap! It's not just any short old guy, it's OLD MAN SHUCKLE!! "Ahhh, it's Old Man Shuckle!", says Misty greeting him with delight to see a familiar face to help her deal with the crushing loss of Cris-tal. Justin's reaction........ well, to say the least..... it isn't as receptive....

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!! MIDGEEEEEEEEEEEEEETT!", screams Justin freaking out. He then gets out a broom that the artists magically paint for him which scares Old Man Shuckle as he chases him around trying to swat away his fear of midgets. "Get away get away get away get away get away get away get away get away get away get away get away getaway getaway getaway getaway getawaygetawaygetawaygetawaygetawaygetaway", he shouts as he chases the little old guy. "Heeelp, get this maniac and his broom off of meeeee!", shouts Old Man Shuckle running for his life. And then....... WHAM! Misty comes down with a sledgehammer stopping Justin in his track making him see Pidgeys fly around him..... that on top of the broken back he must've gotten falling into the hole. "GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF! There's nothing wrong with Old Man Shuckle!", screams Misty right into Justin's ear from the handle of the sledgehammer.

Excuse me a minute..... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!

Sorry, but writing this is making me silly. But Old Man Shuckle explains, "Besides, I'm not a true midget I've just lost a lot of height from aging. All the way down to 4' 5"." "Oh.... sorry", says Justin still woozy from Misty's sledgehammer blow. Misty then wonders what Old Man Shuckle is doing around Mt. Moon and adds if he's still studying the Shuckles. "Oh I'm still researching Shuckle medicines and potions, young lady. Recently though, I've gotten into trying to figure out some pokemon myths and their origins, determining to see if they're actually true. I have been in the area researching about pokemon medicine with local Shuckles as well as other pokemon. But I'm here because I've also been researching some Pokemon tales of lore that are concerned with this famous and precious mountain", says Old Man Shuckle. "You mean like unsolved mysteries?", asks Misty and Old Man Shuckle confirms her and says that there's also a mystery transpiring on Mt. Moon. "What's the mystery here?", asks Misty. "There's been a recently uncovered psalm here that reads with some pretty chilling verses. I have a feeling that if this psalm really is true, then anyone on Mt. Moon, including your friend up there, is in great danger", states Old Man Shuckle.

"What psalm is that?", fears Misty anxious about Crystal. "I have it here in my pocket", says Old Man Shuckle taking it out from underneath his overcoat reading, "It reads 'Beware the mountain of moonstone, for when half a millennium passes, the moon will fade to black, and its darkness will engulf all who inhabit it'. If this psalm is as accurate as they seem to be, then your friend truly could be in a lot of trouble." "Half a millennium? That's 500 years", figures out Misty. "Wait, how do you know that it's been 500 years since this last happened?", asks Justin still on the ground. "I've been gathering as much information as I could from astronomers, historians, and poke-ologists. From their information, I can safely theorize that it's been about that long since the last time the moon faded to black", says Old Man Shuckle who then goes to tell them, "I have heard a snippet of a story of what supposedly happened on Mt. Moon 500 years ago. It is chilling to know that this may have ever transpired." "Wait.... the moon... faded to black? How does that happen?", wonders Misty. "I guess it's a mystery like when we saw the moon turn red that one time (Shell Shock)", responds Justin who still hasn't gotten his lazy ass up. "The cause behind it is a mystery indeed. But there was no mystery to havoc unleashed here 500 years ago", says Old Man Shuckle who begins his story.

He narrates as we see the moon in the sky circa 1503, "That night, it was apparently a night as clear as a bell. Much like tonight is. But then during that night, the moon disappeared for a period of time and everything up on Mt. Moon went to hell. Fights between pokemon broke out everywhere, some of those that were on the mountain that night were never heard from again. Many pokemon were also left injured from the anarchy of the situation. It was like they relied on the moon as their guide and when it disappeared, they lost their heads and went nuts." During Old Man Shuckle's story, we see images of Clefables, Gastlies, Sandshrews, and Zubats going at it in the height of the panic. "That's scary", remarks Misty as the story ends. "That's why I'm worried about your friend. She may get caught up in the chaos if this phenomenon is supposed to happen tonight", fears Old Man Shuckle. But Misty tells him not to worry because they're going to help him get to the bottom of the mystery and find Crystal before it's too late.

She also tells him, "And we'll be fully cooperative regardless of height, isn't that RIGHT, JUSTIN?", ripping at his ear to make him behave around the old midget. "OW.... OOH... UGH.... YES.... I'll be good... I promise.... just stop hurting my ear", eeks out Justin as he gets up holding his right ear. Misty then compliments Old Man Shuckle about his helpfulness and creepy soothsaying, for you simpletons out there that means fortune telling. "That does sound creepy", remarks Justin as he looks up at Old Man Shuckle making him nervous again because the old midget is holding that flashlight behind him, "...eeeespecially with the uuhhhmm... little.. old guy beaming brightly like we're seeing a ghost." Old Man Shuckle then glows brightly like a newly risen Jesus until Misty snatches the flashlight he has behind his back, takes out the Energizer batteries not only in the flashlight, but also in his tote bag and then she pockets all the 9 volt batteries saying anxiously, "Ohhhhkay, I'm not about to deal with this anymore. Now let's go find them", and she then begins the search for Cris-tal, Pikachu, Sandshrew, and Dragonite.

Later on, we see Crystal waking up on the mountain slope as Pikachu and Sandshrew push her just enough to wake her from passing out. "Noo.... it's still too early to get up", moans Crystal still sleeping as Sandshrew and Pikachu try to get her up. So Pikachu and Sandshrew poke at her harder with Dragonite looking over them all. She does eventually get up with Dragonite staring at her on the ground. "Huh? Dragonite? Oh that's right.... I got hit with that hyper beam on Wobbuffet's counter", remembers Crystal. "Saaanshrew shrew", states Sandshrew glad that she has come around halfway to soberness. "Is everyone alright?", she asks and everyone looks happy to indicate that they are. Crystal is obviously relieved that everybody is kosher and then notices that they must have been separated from Misty and Justin adding that they must be worried about them. "Pika-chu", confirms Pikachu. "I guess we better look for them. It's a good thing we have you, Dragonite. You can make our search a lot easier. Yooouuu... don't mind if we ride you to look for Justin and Misty do you?", asks Crystal.

"Borrrrrwww?!", replies Dragonite turning her head sideways in confusion since Cris-tal is not familiar with ways of communicating with such a high-end dragon pokemon with a taste for tacky memorabilia. "Rrrrrruh!", then roars Dragonite turning around to look out at the sky. "Cool!", says Crystal assuming that this is an acceptance by Dragonite. She has Sandshrew and Pikachu climb onto her so they can all jump on Dragonite's back and take off. "All right, Dragonite...", says Crystal getting on Dragonite's back without the saddle that we've seen Justin use whenever he flies his orange pokemon, "... let's take off." "Borrww!!", obliges Dragonite and zips away. Unfortunately, it flies so fast that Crystal and her pokemon are unable to handle. We see Cris-tal clinging on for dear life as she yells, "WHOOOOOOOOOAAAAAA! That's.... too.. fast.... Dragonite!" "Shrew shreeeeeeewww!", adds Sandshrew digging its claws into Crystal's back as Pikachu also panics before Cris cannot hold on any longer and plunges into a rocky ravine below along with her two pokemon that land on her next to a creek. This makes Dragonite stop eventually as she closes her eyes in embarrassment. "Uuuuunnnggghhhh!", moans Crystal deliriously as she then utters, "I guess it's not as easy as Justin makes it out to be." "Pikaaah", adds Pikachu with a look of concern for the fallen Crystal.

We go back to Justin, Misty, and Old Man Shuckle on the lookout for Crystal and her pokemon as they call out for her. "I think we should use our pokemon. We could cover more ground that way", believes Misty and Justin goes with her idea. So Misty calls out Togetic to search from above and also Corsola to search the waterways. "Togi-trrrrric!", goes Togetic while Corsola comes out shouting happily, "Corsolaaaaa!", and then Misty tells them to look for Crystal and her group of lost pokemon. "Misdreavus, you can come out and help in the search, too. GOOOO!", says Justin until Misty sees something behind him he thinks would interest him. "Uhhh Justin?", says Misty as she points behind him to Misdreavus who already let herself out of her pokeball to get some good Justin lovin'. "Misdreeeee!", croons Misdreavus making Justin jump as she searches for the way to Justin's heart by nuzzling up against him. "This is starting to reach the point of embarrassment", says Justin straight-faced looking dull as he tells Misdreavus that he needs her to do him a special favor. "Misdreeavuuusss", says Misdreavus sounding quite sexy and eager to do him a favor as Justin tells him that he needs her to help look for Crystal and their friends around Mt. Moon. This gives Old Man Shuckle an opportune time to reintroduce Spoopy the Bellsprout to us (LOL... SPOOPY!!!) with the old midget telling them that Spoopy can help them search under rocks if they've been trapped by rubble. "We haven't heard anything from them, so that just may be the case", says Justin all worried... but maybe about the midget more than Crystal.

Thus, they scatter all their pokemon to go look for them. Misdreavus and Togetic fly together while Corsola finds a nearby stream to hop in and Spoopy <snicker> the Bellsprout runs off towards the foot of the mountain to find the pokemon. As for Crystal's crew, they're busy searching around Mt. Moon for a way home. "Juuustiiiin? Mistyyyyy? Hellooooo?", shouts Crystal as Sandshrew, Pikachu, and Dragonite call out for them as well. "Ohhh... we've been looking really hard, but they're not around anywhere", says Crystal after searching a whopping 1/2 mile radius. Pikachu then picks up something with its highly sensitive ears and it remarks, "Pika pikaaah. Pikachuuu!" Crystal asks Pikachu if it hears someone and Pikachu confirms her and Dragonite agrees as it has good hearing as well. "Alright, tell us where it's coming from Pikachu", says Crystal and thus Pikachu traces the sound with its ears once again and leads them back towards the mountain with the rest of them trailing... Sandshrew the closest, looking at its booty the whole way.

"Hellooooo? Is somebody there?", shouts Crystal as they approach a cave near the height of the mountain. They reach the mouth of the cave leading in as the sound, which is some weird gay chanting, grows louder. Crystal and co. go to take a peek at what's going on in there and..... well lo and behold, it's the Clefairies and Clefables of Mt. Moon, dancing around a giant glowing rock, probably a moonstone. "Heeey... look at that", points out Crystal in awe being careful not to expose herself and scare the pokemon during their sacred ritual like Ash would have done already, "It must some kind of Clefairy and Clefable ritual... wooow." "Saaaaashreeewww", adds Sandshrew equally impressed as the four of them peep out to see them dancing around the moonstone appropriately glowing in the moonlight. "Clefaaaairy Clefaaable Clefaaairy Clefaaable", chant all the little pink things as they hop around the big moonstone in acid-trippy delight.

Pikachu has seen these Clefairies before and thus, it dashes out to greet them and interrupt their sacred ceremony. "Pikachu wait!", gasps Crystal as Pikachu goes out to greet them again. They all stop to turn at Pikachu as the rest slowly approach the dancing pink pokemon when a Clefable scolds them, "Clefable clefable", but then takes a closer look at Pikachu and recognizes it as a buddy and welcoming it happily, "Clefabllle." And the other Clefairies and Clefables all go happy-happy and yay-yay and greet Pikachu while it introduces its friends Sandshrew and Dragonite and Crystal. They are a little bit scared of the cracked out girl with them. "Uh oh... I guess they're a little less accepting of people", she tells her pokemon as she then greets the space invaders, "Uhh... hello. How are you guys?" "Fable. Clefaaabllle", says Clefable back to her as Crystal compliments the set-up that they have in their little moonstone shrine. "Pikaaaaah!", shouts Pikachu gladly as the Clefable decides to welcome them on behalf of everyone there.

So with Cris-tal getting along with the dancing Clefairies, we see Misty, Justin, and Old Man Shuckle scaling the mountains to where Cris-tal was blasted off to. "There's no sign of any of them up around here, not even Dragonite", remarks Misty. "Well this is pretty much the direction that Crystal and those pokemon went in with that big collision", adds Justin. "Hey Justin, I just thought of something. Do you think Crystal could have flown off on Dragonite?", wonders Misty. Justin replies that it is highly unlikely since most people who have never ridden a Dragonite would probably have trouble handling its high speed as we saw earlier when Cris-tal landed on her ass from high up above. "Mis-dreeeee", says Misdreavus returning and probably tired of searching and wants to crawl back into bed with her sexay trainer. "Oh Misdreavus, have you seen any sign of Crystal, Pikachu, Sandshrew, or Dragonite?", asks Justin and Misdreavus responds shaking her head no. "Man, this is gonna be tougher than I thought", says Justin.

"Hopefully it won't have to matter and this phenomenon will pass by another night", says Old Man Shuckle. "Oookay", responds Justin still scared of the midget, displaying his midgetphobia (they don't have a name for it yet). "I still don't understand how a moon could just disappear, let alone how it could lead to chaos", says Misty still bewildered over this 500 year old mystery that plans to doom all on the mountain. "I'd like to be around just to find out", remarks Justin. "Misdreeeavuus", says Misdreavus as Old Man Shuckle suggests that they don't want to find out until they find their friend and get off this mountain. After a brief pause, they begin resuming their fruitless search when all of a sudden, Justin gasps in shock when he looks up into the sky. "AAAAHHH! YOU GUYS, LOOK UP THERE!", he points out and Misty and Old Man Shuckle look up to see the moon starting to be covered up.

"Unbelievable, the moon is eclipsing!", states Misty. "So that's what the prophecy must have meant. It's a TOTAL LUNAR ECLIPSE!", shouts Justin. "Quick, we have to find your friend before that moon is totally covered or else who knows what might happen to all your friends", says Old Man Shuckle. "But what chaos could possibly unfold here?", wonders Justin. Misdreavus calls out briefly as Misty answers that she doesn't know and isn't sure she wants to find out. Justin hurriedly sends out Misdreavus again to find their friends and Misdreavus goes out again. "We don't have much time", says a much more worried Misty as they start to rush and find Cris-tal.

Ladies and gents, this has become an episode of the X-files, X-file #420

"You really get along well with these Clefairies and Clefables, don't you Pikachu?", says Crystal as we go back to them schmoozing with the moonstone obsessed pokemon, including each pokemon enjoying a full chat with a couple of pink pokemon each. All are unaware of the apparent peril that is about to be inflicted upon them. "Clefaaaiiiry", utters a Clefairy as it presents her with a shard of moon stone as a gift with Crystal asking if it's for her. "Clefairy fairy", says Clefairy nodding as Crystal sweetly thanks it for its generosity. "FABLE CLEFABLE!!!", shouts another Clefable as it points up into the sky and they all look up to see the moon eclipsing. "Whooaa... look at that you guys, the moon is eclipsing!", says Crystal as her pokemon and the Clefairy/Clefable crew trip out on the moon disappearing. "Saaaaaanshreeew!", shouts Sandshrew while the pink group of pokemon look up in concern for their disappearing guiding light.

Meanwhile, we find Team Rocket already on the road to recovery, climbing the ridges near Mt. Moon, as Jessie is back to her old bossy self. "How dare that little twerp cut us off before we could finish our scheme. It was one of my best ideas yet", grumbles Jessie. "That's cuz it was one uh ya few ideas ya ever come up wit'", adds Meowth. "And if I have an idea about anything, those twerps were headed for Mt. Moon. So if we just keep scaling these rocks we'll eventually run into some twerps. And if we're lucky, we may even come across a rare Clefairy", interrupts James. This is when Meowth notices the moon starting to eclipse as he points it out to J & J. "Say, look up dere. Isn't dat a lunar uhclipse?", wonders Meowth. "Well bless my heavens, it is an eclipse!!", answers James taking the opportunity to display his gheyness, "This will give us enough darkness to sneak up on any unsuspecting twerps and possibly creep away with all their powerful pokemon."

"We'll sack Sandshrew!", states Jessie. "We'll take Togetic!", adds Meowth. "We can even diverge Dragonite!", says James with glee. "Ohhh, I've enjoyed watching celestial events ever since I was a young lad exploring of the roof of my granpapaa's estate. I saw the Northern Lights, many shooting stars, I even saw a solar eclipse. But never a lunar eclipse... until tonight", then explains James as we see flashbacks of him as a tot (awww!)looking at shooting stars on the roof of a mansion adding with great interest, "And if I am not mistaken, I believe the last time there was a lunar eclipse here was 500 years ago. This is astronomical history here!" "Wow... you is really quite da space cadet", comments Meowth. "It sure does help to be rich enough to have such a spectacular view for it. But until then, let us, Team Rocket, enjoy this celestial phenomenon just like any space geek would and watch in awe", proposes Jessie. "Good idea!", respond both James and Meowth.

"Crystaaaaaaal!", shouts Misty frantic and deeply worried about her secret lesbian lover. "Sandshreeeewwww! Pikachuuuuuu! Dragoniiiiiite!", calls out Justin to no avail. "Oh no... look! The moon is now being fully covered!", points out Old Man Shuckle as the shadow now completely engulfs the moon while they watch in horror. Crystal, her pokemon, the Clefairies, and the Clefables watch it too as the lack of moonlight causes the moonstone to go dark, leaving everybody in the cavern without a way to see. This makes all the Clefairy type pokemon go from concern to panic as Cris-tal's crew is still struggling with their vision. "I can't see a thing", she remarks as she leads her group outside which is only slightly more visible. When she notices the Clefairies are still bumping around in the dark, she has Pikachu try to give them a little bit of light with a thundershock. "That's right... just calm down. It's just an eclipse, there's nothing to be worried ab..... WAAAAAAHHH!", Crystal tells the cave dweller as the light gives them just enough guidance to find the exit, and panic outside, bowling over Cris-tal, Sandshrew and Pikachu in the progress while Dragonite looks on confused. Knocked on their asses, all the can do is groan and watch the Clefairies and Clefables act out the apocalypse.

All of the other pokemon on the mountain pick up on this as some of the Clefables even assault the Sandshrews, Sentrets, Zubats, and Gastlies in the area making them go all insane as well with apocalyptic panic. Crystal gasps, "All those Clefairies have gone crazy, and now they're even taking it out on other pokemon." "Saaaashrew shrew!", adds Sandshrew imperatively as Crystal agrees that they have to trail them and see what happens. As for Misty, Justin, and Old Man Shuckle, they don't notice any consequences of the eclipse as of yet.... but oh, they're about to. "I don't see anything strange, yet", remarks Justin. Soon after, Misty then notices a couple of Clefairies arguing and pounding the crap out of each other as she wonders why they're fighting so angrily like those angry gangstas in da hood like in dat 8 Mile. "Do you think it has something to do with the moon disappearing?", wonders Justin as Old Man Shuckle answers that he bets on it getting close enough to Justin to make himself feel uncomfortable.

"Toge togeeee!", chirps Togetic flapping furiously as Misty asks it if it has found Crystal. "Togi-trrrrric!", responds Togetic pointing towards another section of the mountain area. "Togetic must have found your friends, or maybe some kind of trouble", says Old Man Shuckle as Justin believes that they should follow Woodstock... ahem... Togetic. "Lead the way, Togetic", shouts Misty and it does leading them through the dips of the surrounding areas of Mt. Moon. Meanwhile, we see more chaos unfurling as Gastlies go nuts, and Golbat wildly unleash supersonic waves everywhere making it hard for the other pokemon around to behave anywhere close to sanely.

Team Rocket then notices a wave of panicking Clefairies and a Clefable cautiously skipping along with a small chunk of rock it thinks is a moonstone. "Look at dat... it's a whole horde uh Cluhfairies!", points out Meowth excitedly. "One of them is even carrying what look like a moonstone", then notices James. Jessie corrects him identifying it as a Clefable and that it was about time they got some good luck and didn't have to look to go find any of those rare pokemon. "Come to Jessiiiiee!", sings Jessie as she kneels down to try and get one of them. But the Clefairies are so bugged out that they all trample right on through poor TR as we hear them yell out in pain and laying out in sexually suggestive positions. With ass up in the air, a fallen Jessie looks up to see Clefable coming through to complete the mini-stampede by stomping on her ass almost literally and pushing her down.

"Heeey, what's the big rush?!", shouts James as the Clefairy group scatters into a row of bushes. "That was uncalled for!", screams an outraged Jessie who then yells, "I oughta strangle and round up each one of you personally!" "Let's get 'em!", declares Meowth and thus, they go hopping over the bushes when they soon hear some crying. "Hey, don't walk all over us and then run away and cry", complains Jessie. "Stand up and don't be a wus! Oh?", shouts James before looking down to see that the crybabies are only a couple of cute, stranded Teddiursas. "Teddiursaaaa-huh-huuuuuhh", cry the two little Teddiursas as Jessie notices them as a couple of cutie wooty Teddiursas. She then kneels down to the two Teddiursas and says cutely, "Don't cry poor little Teddiursas, Jessie wessie will save yooouu and'll be aaaaalll miiine. We'll take you to the boss and you'll be happy as a Shellder... yes you will.. yeeesh you will."

But this just makes the Teddiursas cry even louder, and even worse for them amidst the widespread panic, the baby's mamas arrive. "Uuuuh Jessie? I.... don't tink dose Teddiursas is yours", shudders Meowth looking up at something dark and menacing. "We've got company, Jess. Very... angry... company", adds James. "Huh?", says Jessie nervously turning around to see of couple of horny mommy and daddy Ursaring roaring closely and loudly at them upset that they can't get it on because of a stupid eclipse. "WAAAAAA-AAAAAAHHH-AAAAAAHHHH!", panics TR as they fall victim to the wrath of the dark moon and get caught in a largely one-sided scrum with the bear-type pokemon. "Ouch... owwww... OOOOH.... EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!", are all heard from the pile as Wobbuffet comes out again. "WOOOOOOOOOOOBBBUUUHHFFET!", proudly salutes Wobbuffet before it unfortunately gets pulled into the fray as well... but at least it keeps on salutin'.

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon?? (OMG... this pokemon dance... like happy happy joy joy!!)

It's Totodile!! ............... "Toto-diile!"

Crystal and her crew continue to watch the madness unfurl as supersonic attacks spread, Clefables trip out on them, other Clefairies are caught cheating on others ending in domestic violence cases, and the others nearby are just screwing the madness and getting f*cked up. What do they care if the apocalypse is coming, they can't do sh*t about it..... now THOSE are the smart pokemon at such dumb times like here in the story. "I don't know you guys, things are gettin' pretty bad. I think we'd better get out of here while we can", says Crystal as all the pokemon agree. They try to break for an escape from the mountain, but they then notice the violence unfurling between the Sandshrews tackling the Sentrets and the Zubats harassing the other Sentrets with its supersonic waves. "Gaaaaastllyyyyyy!", shouts a Gastly that gets assaulted by the waves of a round of Zubats and Golbats.

Figuring that there's too much going on to try and escaped from the chaos of the darkened moon now, Crystal tells the pokemon with her, "Ohhhh... it's just too dangerous to move around anywhere. We've just got to lay low until this eclipse passes. It won't be long, I promise. Okay, Sandshrew? Pikachu?" "Saaaaaashrew", replies Sandshrew agreeing with her as Pikachu also agrees, "Piiiikaaaahh", kind of depressed that it can't find the rest of the threesome. But Dragonite is not quite as obedient and decides to make a break for it. "Borrrrrwwwwwww!", it cries as Crystal pleads for it to wait. When it ascends into the air, a couple of Gastlies and Haunters get suspicious and use their powers to confuse to stop Dragonite casting a confuse ray on it as it tries to soar through the air.

"Borrrrrrwwwwwwww", it wails as the confusion ray sets in from the ghost pokemon that have gone goofy from the Clefairies that have gone nuts on Mt. Moon. Dragonite then flies around to the concern of Crystal and then when it swoopes down, Crystal then grabs the retro orange pokemon and tells it, "Dragonite, hold on. They've confused you. There's no way even a powerful pokemon like you can take on this entire mountainside of pokemon. "Saaaashrew shrew shrrrreeewww!", wonders Sandshrew and like magic, Crystal understands it clearly and responds that they're all just going to have to lay low until this all passes over as she watches some Clefables duke it out in all the chaos. "Ohhh... I just wish they'd know that everything is going to be alright and they don't have to panic like this just because of a stupid little eclipse", remarks Crystal sounding a bit frustrated watching the uncontrollable panic unfurling on Mt. Moon between all the pokemon inhabitants.

At this point, you could play the intro to the Three Doors Down's tune, "Kryptonite", (get it??? the part where they sing "the dark side of the moon", ain't me clever? XD) as all the inhabitants of Mt. Moon fall victim to lunacy of all the thug pokemon on the mountain that are kicking ass in what could be described as a criminals paradise, where a pokemon could mug another pokemon and not get really punished for it..... like in lawless parts of Africa. There's one poor Clefairy victim that can't stand all the Zubat supersonic attacks. And thus, it begins to pound another Clefairy nearby while the female Clefairy looks on in horror over the domestic violence spat. Speaking of Zubats, there's also three of them intermingling in the air crashing into each other more tripped out that Crystal on a bad day.

The chaos is also making some of the resident Sandshrews burrow into the ground while others try and fail to scale parts of the mountain. Then there's the insane Clefable panicking like there's a fire going, "Clefable clefable clefable clefable...", while running around in a circle. Then another Clefable is obsessed with picking up rocks maybe trying to find its own moon stone. "Clefaaairy.... clefaaairy", shouts one Clefairy trying to jump up to get the moon back. Other Clefairies then join in to try and make a Clefairy ladder to the sky to try and fix the problem. But after a combination of what looks like nine Clefairies and Clefables, the weight is just too much and they spill all around the plateau. And through all the this anarchy is Crystal and her motley group of pokemon as her sober side tries to make sense of this silliness caused by a stupid little lunar eclipse. "We're gonna have to lay low for awhile. The pokemon are just way too out of control right now", declares Crystal. "Pika piiii", goes Pikachu and Dragonite also moans as we see another Clefairy trying to escape down the mountainside running on a boulder. But apparently it doesn't have the insane Totodile complex and ends up falling off just before the boulder flies off the cliff and lands into a ditch below breaking into rubble. And amidst the rubble, you could point out a broken and busted pair of glasses as some of the stones around it are stained red. Could it be...... Seymour the scientist??

See? Not even the pixie-like Clefairies and Clefables couldn't stand him....

They then notice a Zubat laying the smack down on a Clefairy right above them, so Clefairy retaliates with a metronome attack. Once it stops, it unleashes a rock slide which covers up Zubat and then conveniently enough hurtles down the hill right towards Crystal's crew, making her shout, "WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!", and the pokemon panic as well, even big ass Dragonite.

As for her seekers, they also witness the lunacy of the situation with pokemon fighting for no reason and going crazy from the vantage point of a mountain ledge. "I've never seen anything as crazy as this in my entire life", groans Old Man Shuckle as we see Togetic and especially Misdreavus not floating too far away from their trainers. "Really?", Justin questions the short dude not believing that being a midget is not the weirdest thing he's experienced. "With all the Clefairies and Clefables getting involved and attacking each other, they're bound to use dangerous attacks like metronome", comments Misty. This cues Psyduck to pop out and make an appearance among the fighting and craziness. "Psyyduuuck. Psy-y-y-y-yyyyy!", it quacks holding its head looking left and right repeatedly moving Misty to comment that things are already crazy enough without him trying to make her insane and she immediately calls back Psyduck. The idea of crazy pokemon using metronome makes Old Man Shuckle gasp, "If those pokemon resort to using metronome, there's no telling WHAT danger we could be in. It's just too manic out here, so I propose that you call back your pokemon and that we take shelter immediately."

But Misty is not about to give up that easily in the search for her Cris-tal..... nor her still missing Corsola for that matter. "But.... but my Corsola is still out there, and so is Crystal and the others", argues Misty. "But there's so much conflict out there that it's going to be practically impossible to get around out there with such volatility out there", replies Old Man Shuckle. "That... may be true. But we're just going to have to find a way around it, it's just that we've been through too much to retreat now", says Misty. Justin agrees and adds that all hope is not lost. So as they emerge off the ledge, the short one points out the high flying Golbats diving down for them for some unknown reason. They all gasp as they run for their lives and when the Golbats approach, Justin has them all duck down which they all do along with covering their ears helping them avoid becoming Golbat attack victims. The Golbats chirp and then set off to try and pick out better looking prey while the twerps and Old Man Shuckle thank their lucky stars. Justin then wonders what they do now and Misty takes charge stating that they just have to be very careful. She then proposes that they find the creek since that may lead them to Corsola.

But on their way there as they're avoiding an ass-whooping by the riotous pokemon they notice some screaming in the nearby bushes which sounds familiar. "Hey.... look over there!", points out Justin as Misty notices the Ursarings raping something as their poor upset Teddiursas look on. She wonders if Crystal and her group could be in that mix but then they lose interest when they realize that it's only Team Rocket doing their best to steal the show.... James in particular. As for our favorite heroes, they look like they've been getting mauled by the angry bear pokemon for a while now as Jessie wonders if they just saw the twerps pass by and tries to show outrage while her poor figure gets abused. "We fight them so valiantly and that is how they repay us?", shouts Jessie as she endures the brawl in the woods which is mostly covered by smoke. "I'm just wonderin' if we can get out uh dis alive", quips Meowth as it's James's turn to steal the show again. He shouts at the Ursarings in panic, "AAAAHHHH! OOOH! AAHHH! EEE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HOOOOO-HOO-HOO-HEEE! HEY... THAT IS NOT A SAUSAGE LINK!! EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" And then Wobbuffet has the perfect astute response for us stating from the pile-up, "Woooooobbuuhhffeeeet."

No wonder dey's all screwed up.

As for Crystal's cracked out crew, they're still trying to outrun a rockslide that's bearing down on them on another part of Mt. Moon. Fearing that it's going to get them, Crystal fears, "It's gaining on us." She then sees the rift rising up on the slope that they're all going down and she has them quickly run and fly around the left side of the ridge so they can avoid the bulk of the rockslide. Once they get around the ledge, they avoid danger for the moment. This allow Crystal an opportunity to look up at the carnage as if she's trippin out into space... in other words, the way she normally sees things.... and comments, "Maaaan, things are really getting dangerous out there." And Pikachu, her cracked out electric-doped buddy adds on, "Pi-kaaa pikahchuuuu!", similarly. Even Dragonite looks tripped out as it seems to want to put on its pink goggles. Sounds like they've been doped up on the E to me when we weren't watching!

But there's little rest for the weary as a pretty good sized chunk of rock soars over the ledge that they were standing behind and is threatening to squash poor koot widdle Pikachu into pizza dough. Fortunately, Sandshrew cares way too damn much for his partner to let Pikachu get squashed and shoves it out of the way. When Pikachu regains itself, it smiles and thanks Sandshrew for his continued support which Sandshrew is all too eager to provide. But they're relief is short-lived as Cris-tal points out another bigger rock heading for them due to all the fighting higher up on Mt. Moon. "SAAAASHREEEEWWW!", gasps Sandshrew fearing doom until Dragonite stops the giant boulder and under great duress, tosses it aside out of harm's way... or harm's way as far as the stars are concerned. "Whew... thanks a lot Dragonite. We really owe you there", comments Crystal as Dragonite barks back in appreciation before telling them, "Come on, let's find safer grounds."

With Crystal and co. on the move evading danger, they are still hampered by the darkness caused by the lunar eclipse as Crystal attests to complaining she can't really see anything out there and tells her group that they'd better stay along the brook they're walking by. Soon after, they hear what sounds like a little girl screaming in the water and something chirping nearby it. "What was that?", wonders Crystal as Pikachu sparkles to provide a little bit of light which is just enough to reveal that the sound was Corsola swimming up the brook as a gaggle of Golbats are fluttering around it and harassing it. "That Corsola is in trouble", shouts Crystal who then picks up on the fact that it has to be Misty's Corsola figuring that it must have went around to try and find them. She adds that she knows it's Misty's because she notices the unique subtle bubble pattern differences on it. The pokemon probably have it figured out because pokemon are more special than humans.... especially us.

"Alright we definitely have to get involved this time. One of our friends is in danger and it's time to help 'em", says Crystal. "Saaaaaashrew shrew!", adds Sandshrew emphatically as it's instructed to ward off the Golbats with a sandstorm and so it cries out, "Saashrew. SaaaaaaaaaaaSHREEEEEEEEWWW!!", unleashing a cyclone of dangerous sand which bothers the Golbats much more than Corsola since Corsola is a rock type like Sandshrew. This infuriates the Golbats and thus, they descend towards Sandshrew in the midst of the storm. Once they're dragged away from Corsola and the brook, Crystal has Pikachu use its thunder attack which fries the Golbats scaring them away. "Corsola.... corsola.....", pants Corsola relieved that it's not in danger anymore as Crystal tells it that everything is alright now. "Pi-pikachu", says Pikachu as Sandshrew and Dragonite also bark at the pink coral pokemon. "Corsolaaaa!", shouts Corsola cheerfully as it now joins the group of lost and high souls.

"CRIIIISS!", shouts a voice which reveals itself to be Justin as Crystal and co. turn back to see them racing up the brook while Corsola notices Misty and rejoices. "Hey... you guys are alright", says Crystal as Pikachu and Sandshrew are happy that everyone's reunited again. "Good to see you back again, Dragonite", says Justin as he pats his weird looking pokemon with one arm while holding his still sore and perhaps broken back (from the fall not to mention Misty's sledgehammer as well) with the other. "Borrww!", barks back Dragonite as they all catch up and assure that everyone's alright. "It's fortunate that none of you guys were hurt by all the calamity going on here", comments Old Man Shuckle as Justin nervously introduces Cris-tal to Old Man Shuckle saying that he's a pokemon medicine maker and also helped them look for her and her pokemon. Crystal greets him gladly eager to perhaps pick up some more..... uh... goodies... from him and then tells him that they were alright because they all looked out for each other.

The twerps then hear a faint sound of what appears to be water rushing in making Crystal ask everyone if they hear anything funny. Sandshrew then points over to a big gush of water filled with Clefairies and all other kinds of pokemon swept of in the huge current from a 7 meter brook. And on top surfing the oversized wave is an out of control Clefable that probably let its metronome get out of control. "WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!", everyone shouts as Misty points out the surfing Clefable and Old Man Shuckle figures that it probably tried to use metronome and ended up surfing. And so they panic and try to get away running with the current instead of just off to the side which might have spared them. Instead, they all end up getting swept into the current and careening with the current going, "Whoooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaa!", until they all go over a ledge with a short waterfall and they end up pulling themselves towards the bank soaking wet as the waterfall also dumps tons of pokemon with it and they begin scattering around and some of them scuffle for food and property just like in those Indian Wars.

"Is everyone alright?", asks Old Man Shuckle and Crystal believes so but she also observes that the situation with the pokemon isn't getting much better. And so they look hopelessly at all the fighting Sandshrews, Teddiursas, Clefairies, Clefables, Zubats, and Golbats as more rocks slide down from near Mt. Moon's peak. "This fighting is endless... and if it doesn't stop, something terrible will happen to all the pokemon here", says Misty. Thus, feeling dedicated to try and calm the worries of her good friend Misty, Crystal suddenly shouts out, "There's nothing to be fighting about. The moon will return, I assure you!" "Huh? Crystal?", is voiced out in curious response as many of the pokemon 'cease fire' and turn towards Crystal. "Saaaaashrew shrew. Shrrreew sanshrew!", explains Sandshrew to the other pokemon. Some look puzzled while a few dozen others get mad and approach the twerps... those are the pokemon that the twerps fear. With pokemon in front of them, and a fastly moving brook behind them, Justin then nervously wonders, "Uhhhhh... now what?", though not sure whether he's nervous of the pokemon or the midget.

"CLEFABLLLEE!", shouts out another Clefable pointing out to the sky to show that, to the other pokemon's astonishment, that the moon is starting to reappear out of the eclipse. Misty and Old Man Shuckle pick up on this too as mostly all around them are glued to the night sky which is beginning to lighten back up again. "Clefaaaaiiiirrryy... Clefaaaaaabbblleee", sigh the two moon type pink pokemon in wonder and reassurance as the moon slowly reappears from 'fading to black' as Old Man Shorty put it. The curious Clefairies and Clefables abandon their brawls, dodge the still falling rocks and return to their moonstone chamber where the big giant moonstone is gradually returning its radiance. "At least most of the Clefairies and Clefables seem to be chilling out now", comments Misty. Old Man Shuckle then states that hopefully, the rest of the Mt. Moon inhabitants will follow suit and halt their battles caused by the panic of the situation as well", says Old Man Shuckle.

As for Team Rocket, they are licking their wounds from being attacked in the Ursaring brawl.... NOT literally, GETCHA MIND OUTTA DA GUTTA.... cuz in the case of James, that would be enormously gross!! "I hope someone can answer how I can still stand", moans a weary Jessie part of her uniform ripped by claws. Eaaaaasy people... men and lesbos alike.... Meowth quips in response, "Well ya legs are pretty long. Part of 'em must still be opuhratin'", as he lies on his stomach. "Blast! It looks like the eclipse is going away. AND I DIDN'T EVEN GET A PICTURE OF IT. THOSE RAVENOUS BEASTS COST ME A PRECIOUS VISION!!!", shouts an outraged James. "Wooooooooooobbbuuhhffet", punctuates Wobbuffet before it's quickly returned. "Well I say you and us take it out on sometin'", proposes Meowth getting up with all of his blood and bruises. "Like these resident pokemon!", responds James. "RIGHT!", they all agree as they go to get revenge.

Soon after, the moon fully reappears and the big moonstone returns to its full glow making all the pink things rejoice again and eventually resume dancing joyously around their God-like icon. "It looks like all the madness outside is beginning to taper off", remarks Justin as he notices less pokemon getting buried by rocks and dumped into roads and streams like drunk bar patrons. "So all the chaos here was caused by the eclipse. I'm sure those Clefables will do what they can to make sure another disastrous brawl doesn't break out here in another 500 years", says Old Man Shuckle. The threesome then collapses in relief since they don't have to evade any more real craziness... at least outside each other and the midget old Shuckle sh*t potion guy. "All those pokemon could have wiped each other out and this all could have been a lot worse. Fortunately, that never got to happen and I think you may have helped them, Crystal", says Misty getting close up next to her best friend. "Well you guys, I'm just glad that everything looks resolved", Crystal tells them. But lo and behold, down from above comes a net sweeping up the Clefairies and Clefables as TR arrives on their balloon with Jessie shouting at her arch-rival, "Not everything!!"

"Team Rocket again!", shouts the threesome as Crystal swears that they can't get away with this. "Oh really? Well aftuh da hell dat we've been tru, we needed a little pick-me-up", responds Meowth. "That's right... so we've dropped by to scoop up these rare little Clefables and we also got their moonstone so they won't panic anymore by being separated from their idol", says James. "You have no right to keep those pokemon or their moonstone", replies Crystal as Misty agrees and tells them that it means much more to the Clefables and Clefairies than to TR. At this moment, all of the captured pink space things begin wagging their stubby fingers back and forth for a team metronome attack like what beat TR last time. Jessie tells the threesome during this, "Well, we'll see what BankOne tells us about that." "And den aftuh we get paid oodles of greenbacks, den we'll rob da place fuh oodles more", adds Meowth. "So not to cut us all short but it's time for us to eclipse into the night, just like the moon. EEEEEEEEE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HEEEEEEE!", laughs James as the pokemon unleash their mystery attack.

"Huh? W-what's going on?", fears Jessie as Crystal and Pikachu point out that the Clefairies are using metronome. The Clefairies and Clefables then start shooting spikes all over the place frightening TR while the twerps and Old Man Shuckle stay safe just outside the entranceway. "DAAAAAHHH! They're using pin missile!", panics TR as the spikes puncture their balloon while cutting the big net loose from the happy Buddha-faced Meowth balloon. And yes boys and girls, every single Clefairy and Clefable used metronome and randomly winded up using a pin missile attack. The spikes send the balloon down instead of up crashing TR to the ground while the pokemon escape free. The big moonstone also lands in place perfectly while TR lands to the side of it with only the ripped uniforms on their backs. "RRRRRR!!", growls Jessie, "Stupid Clefairies!" "Well Team Rocket", says Crystal as the twerps and all their pokemon stare down at them including Corsola and Dragonite, "... all signs from the sky are telling you it's time to kiss the moon!"

But Jessie will refuse to let her rival win and yells, "I think not, twerp. As long as we're still here, we're still Clefairy hunting. Arbok, Dunsparce, GOOOO!", and she brings out both pokemon to attack. "Weezing, Qwilfish, GOOOOO!!", adds James sending out the ugly one and the pointy one. "Eeeeeee!", eeee's James in pain from Qwilfish's stingers making him throw up the pokemon that wants to be near him, but not to bite his head off.... make of it what you will. "Why couldn't I just get a fish that won't puncture me at every appearance", complains James adding, "Here, use this bucket of water!", bringing out a garbage can sized water bucket for Qwilfish to battle from.

Arbok tries to use a tackle attack but Crystal has Sandshrew dodge it and use sandstorm which buries both Arbok and Dunsparce in a blizzard of sand. "Aaaaahhh... quick Dunsparce, use sludge bomb on Pikachu", commands Jessie. But again, it's avoided as Pikachu uses agility and then it cuts Dunsparce down to size with an iron tail attack making Crystal cheer, "Yeeeah... great moves, Pikachu!" "Qwilfish, use your water guuunn!", shouts James flamboyantly as the blowfish pokemon leaps up to spray the twerps. But Misty has Corsola return it right back to Qwilfish with its mirror coat making it grunt, "Qwillllfssshh", and it then gets pushed back into James. "Tackling our problem isn't going as planned... let's try running away", panics Jessie and so James tries to have Weezing use smog to try and cover them for their escape from the entry of the chamber. "Oh no you don't, not this time! Dragonite! Blow the smoke away with a blizzard attack", declares Justin and with goggles donned, Dragonite blows away the smoke and frosts TR in a blizzard of snow. "Alright Sandshrew, use one more sandstorm and make it count!", states Crystal and thus Sandshrew winds up and then extends its full body to unleash a big sandstorm to send TR blasting amidst the descending levels of chaos on Mt. Moon. "I tink we shoulda faded uhway like da moon", says a battered and bruised Meowth. "Next time, let's avoid coming outside on nights of lunar eclipses", quips James. "Who knows? Maybe we will reach da moon aftuh all", responds Meowth sarcastically.

"Looks like Team Rocket's flying to the moooooooonn!"

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon?? (This dude looks like some kind of freaky mutant merdog that was cloned from a fish and a terrier.)

It's Vaporeon!! .................. <screaming> "Vaporeoooooonn!"

Later on into the wee hours of the morning, we see the twerps spacing out looking up into the night sky. A tired Old Man Shuckle then says he is thankful that this eclipse wasn't a complete disaster and that this shouldn't be a problem again for another 500 years. He adds though that there were a lot of pokemon, hundreds in fact, that got injured due to the Mt. Moon mini-war and that he fears for their safety if they don't get care. Fortunately for them, Justin and Misty offer them a Nurse Joy for the services of the injured Mt. Moon inhabitants. "Nurse Joy!", calls out Crystal and the sexy slut nurse introduces herself as the Nurse Joy from the nearby Mt. Moon Pokemon Center and that she knows what happened there. She also tells them she's going to have many other volunteers that know pokemon medicine just like Crystal.... okay, maybe not exactly like Crystal if you know what I'm getting at.... and the volunteers will help to treat the injured Clefairies, Sandshrews, Teddiursas, Zubats, Gastlies, and so on. "That's good to hear. And with that, I shall take my leave", says Old Man Shuckle.

"You mean you're leaving already?", asks Justin uneasily pretending to miss him already. So much for his frightening midget-phobia.... "Are you going to study more unexplained pokemon mysteries?", asks Misty. The old midget replies that he is going to do that and also look for more Shuckle sh*t to make into medicine and stuff. "That sounds great", replies Crystal eagerly who then actually tells the old guy, "Maybe you can even share your big findings with us, one day." Boy, if she isn't looking for new ways for her and her friends to get f*cked up, I don't know what the f*ck she's doing. "Perhaps so, young lady. And I've even taken samples of Clefable skin as well as crushed up moonstone. Maybe they'll help to make new medicines and potions", Old Man Shuckle tells them. "That sounds great!", replies Crystal brightly for obvious reasons as the twerps and the pokemon couple bid him adieu as he walks off.... Justin's wave looks a bit forced, but at least he's waving. Nurse Joy goes to tend to the injured pokemon, Seymour's shocking disappearance and probably murder remains somewhat of a mystery, and the threesome, along with a romanced Sandshrew and Pikachu is left to gaze at the huge full moon and magically twinkling stars. So closes the book on this X-File! <X-File whistling>