Dragonitemare presents

Pokemon Crystal series

Ep. 69 <snicker>

We find the twerps taking a break from their generic adventures with nothing in them for us to say something like 'Hey, I drink Wild Cherry Pepsi, too.... just like Misty! Squee!' and 'OhmyGod, I was just at Disney World yesterday, I missed my favorite villains, Jessie and James, by one day. Eeeeee!', we see the threesome along with Sandshrew and Pikachu enjoying a much deserved meal at an Italian pizzeria somewhere around Vermilion City since it's pretty close to both Mt. Moon and Viridian City, sitting outside at their own table under an umbrella protecting them from sunburn. They seem to be loving their food so much that they might want to have sex with it. Yikes! But while they're enjoying their soft-crusted dough, gooey cheese, and loads of toppings, little do they know that whether they like it or not, the threesome is about to be exposed to wide world of wrastlin'!

"Man, this triple cheese pizza is great, don't you agree Pikachu?", praises Crystal. "Pika pi-KAAAHHH!", shouts Pikachu joyfully stuffing its face with little pizza bites. Meanwhile, we see Justin with his head practically in his own box of pizza as we hear him devouring away. "Justin, are you really going to eat that whole pizza all by yourself?", wonders Misty. "Of course not, Misty. Besides, I gave two of my eight slices to Pikachu and Sandshrew. The other six slices of this BBQ chicken pizza though, I can handle. I now have to believe that it is my new favorite food!", responds Justin with a sniffle of joy. "Saaashreeeewww", utters Sandshrew enjoying its share of the food under the sign that reveals the restaurant's name to be Mario and Luigi's Pizza Restaurant. "But I thought you were going to have a cheesesteak. You eat them all the time!", says Crystal munching on her slice of pizza. "I did... I'm saving it for later", responds Justin making the girls with less voracious skinny girl appetites fall over in funny ways.

But as the poor innocent threesome chows down and gets fat, they get approached by a huge gruff bald man with a brown goatee, black shirt, and black pants. His menacing shadow engulfs Sandshrew and Pikachu catching their attention and surprising them. The intimidating looking man then addresses the threesome and more in particularly, Cris-tal and her pokemon couple. "Excuse me, is your name Crystal?", he asks with a deep gruff voice looking at her eating her pie (as in pizza...... GETCHA MIND OUTTA DA GUTTA!!!). "Ummmm... yeah, that's me?", replies Crystal as the camera pans up to reveal the identity of the big brute standing across from at the table....... it's Stone Cold Steve Austin.... yes, the WWF... umm... E wrestling star Stone Cold Steve Austin. Misty gets all nervous while Justin gets stoked as Crystal just looks puzzled at him like he's another hallucination. "Crystal Fletching?!", he asks her again. "Mm hmm", she replies.
"Kanto League trainer?"
"Yeah"
"You're competin' in the Kanto League?"
"Yeah"
"And these two pokemon are yours?!"
"Uhhh, yes"
"Those two"
"Yes"
"Sitting right there"
"Yeah"
"That's your Sandshrew"
"Yeah"
"That's your Pikachu"
"Yeah"
"You're training them?"
"Y-yes!"
"What do you want? Are you asking to battle her?", shouts Misty angry and deprived of television for a long time. "Mistyyy", says Justin softly grinning and then asking her, "Do you realize who that is?!?" "Uhhhmm, not really", answers Misty as they all look up at him wearing his '100% Alcohol Fueled' t-shirt. "That is Stone Cold Steve Austin, one of biggest superstars and celebrities of pro wrestling!!", Justin tells her. "Oh really?!", responds Misty excitedly. "Ummm... oh I get it. Since I'm somewhat of a celebrity being in the Kanto League, I guess stars like you want to hobnob with pokemon trainers like me", says Crystal. "Well... not quite", replies Stone Cold adding, "I'm here to address your two poke-buddies over there. I've heard about the great team that these two make up together.... and also, to make them an offer." "An offer?", wonder Justin and Misty as Crystal wonders about her two pokemon and then concedes that if there's anyone that should get to meet celebrities, it's her pokemon. "I've come here and found you guys today to extend an invitation to you Crystal, for your team of Sandshrew and Pikachu to compete in an exclusive tournament sponsored by myself and my fellow WWE superstars. What do you say to that? Do you ACCEPT?", proposes Stone Cold. "A sponsored tournament?", reacts Crystal as Sandshrew and Pikachu also react surprised.

<cue intro>

"Yes or no... are your pokemon in?", again presses Stone Cold as Justin salivates that this tournament is going to have all kinds of wrestling stars and celebrities in it. Crystal then consults her pokemon, "What do you two, say? Are you two up for competing together?" "Saaashrew shrew!", okays Sandshrew as Pikachu shouts confidently, "Pika pikahchuuuu!" "Alright, we're in!", Crystal tells Stone Cold as he is grateful that she accepted the invitation and that if they can come with him, he can tell them a little more about what this tournament is about. "How will Sandshrew and Pikachu compete?", asks Misty and Austin tells them that they are going to compete as a team. He tells them that they're going to be a tag team in a battle just like a pokemon battle except instead of the usual field with a few lines drawn on them, the pokemon teams will battle in a wrestling ring and then they show the image of four pokemon in a WWE ring. "They're gonna battle in a wrestling ring??", asks Crystal. "I get it, it's just like a tag team wrestling match", figures out Justin and Stone Cold tells him he's right. "And I would also imagine that if one pokemon gets too tired, they could tag in their partner who's more energized", adds Justin.

"You've hit the nail on the head once again son... and once a pokemon is down for the count of three, the match is over and that team loses", Stone Cold tells him. "I knew it!", announces Justin as he adds, "This sounds like it's gonna be an awesome tournament." "You really know quite a bit about wrestling, Justin", Crystal tells him. "Oh yeah", Justin responds as he tells his little anecdote about how he used to be such a huge wrestling fan saying, "I watched wrestlers like Stone Cold Steve Austin and others every week on TV, and even when I couldn't watch the Pay Per Views, I'd sometimes try to watch them scrambled and try to figure out what's going on. Plus, I have plenty of action figures and play ring backs from when I was a boy. I even have autographed posters and framed the stubs I had from when I went to Wrestlemania XIV." "You went to Wrestlemania XIV??", gasps Misty and Justin responds, "Yeah, it was great. I had an unbelievable time." "Well I'm glad you've been a fan for so many years", Stone Cold tells him.

"Yeah... and I was also wondering if.... well, Steve.... if...", Justin tries to tell him. "WHAT? SPIT IT OUT!", he shouts back abruptly and Justin asks him if he can have a team in the tournament too. "What? You want in this, too. I don't think you understand, son. This is a highly privileged tournament where the best TEAMS compete for a championship. Do you have a team that can compete with the best?", he asks him. Justin replies that of course he does since he was the runner up in the Johto League tournament and that he could put a championship team together with any of the pokemon that he's got and then he asks him again. "Oh yeah... the Johto League. I forgot about that.. ha haaah. Yeah, you seem to be a good kid... you look imposing with all your pokeballs and experienced demeanor. I guess you can be in this thing, too", Stone Cold tells him. "All riiiight! Watch out Cris, you've got company!", Justin tells her as the friendly competition heats up. "Pikachuuu", Pikachu tells him with a happy expression.

But now with Justin and Crystal both into the tournament, now Misty wants in as well. "Now you want in as well?? Look at my watch! Do you know what it's telling me?", Stone Cold tells her and she replies, "Uhh, no!" "It's saying that time is running short. Now what in the world could possibly make you think that you should be in this tournament, too?", asks Stone Cold and he gets an immediate and detailed response from Misty. "I want to enter this competition to represent all the water pokemon and their trainers. Water pokemon are some of the most beautiful and mystical pokemon in the world... and I need to be in this tournament representin' them.... for the water pokemon! YEAH!!", shouts Misty cheering at the end. Sandshrew looks a bit puzzled as ol' Stone Cold relents and says, "Ehhh, alright, you seem to have energy and a cause that you won't shut up for. You can enter a team as well." "All riiight. Thank you very much, Mr. Austin. Don't worry, you'll see.. the natural cohesive power of water pokemon", Misty says with a smile a mile wide. "Please... you can call me Steve", he replies as the threesome continue to chat with them about the tournament later tonight.

"At last, you two are finally gonna be able to fight alongside each other in an official battle", Crystal says in an aside to her two competing pokemon, "You guys have been really close friends since day one." "Pikaaaah", replies Pikachu. "Saaashrew shreeewww", says Sandshrew as we have another vision of the past to when the two pokemon first met each other after Cris-tal rescued Pikachu from TR for the first time. "You two have always been able to look out for each other and be each other's biggest cheerleaders when the going got tough", Crystal says as we see images of Sandshrew cheering for Pikachu during a battle and vice versa. "Why, I've never seen two pokemon with such a special bond with each other", she adds as we see Sandshrew going to console Pikachu back when Crystal was favoring Sandshrew over the electric yellow mouse making it run away. Out of the flashback, a heartwarmed Sandshrew and Pikachu both reaffirm the hot passionate ambiguous relationship they have with each other joyously stating out their names. "There's no question in my mind. I know you two are ready and have the talent to bring home the gold", Crystal tells them. "Saaaaashrew shrew. Saaanshrew!", affirms Sandshrew in the midst of the others talking about the hype of the wrestling style pokemon battle tournament.

They chat as our good ol' friends Team Rocket listens in with some fervor from atop the roof of an adjacent building. "That's an injustice! An exclusive team tournament and they don't even invite Team Rocket? What kind of business are those people running anyway?!", Jessie exclaims. "I know. Team Rocket is the very essence of a championship tag team. You can't even spell Team Rocket without team", adds James vocally. "I'm suhprised you two kin spell it", quips Meowth. "Well I say that it's time to teach those world fighting champions, like that bald redneck guy down there, what a real tag team of bad guys can do. By the way.... does anybody know who that guy is?", Jessie asks them. "I'm not quite sure, Jess", James answers as Meowth adds that he's familiar. "Woooooobbbuuhhffet", adds Wobbuffet popping up and sounding unsure of the bald wrestler guy. "Well we can find out more about him by following the twerps and finding a spot in the tourney for ourselves", Jessie then says to her team.

"Dahh, excuse me Team Blockhead, but if we's gonna entuh da toinament, we're gonna need a duo uh pokemon dat woiks togettuh like a well oiled machine. En as ya may uv noticed, all our parts tend to 'malfunction' sometimes...", Meowth tells them challenging them to come up with a formidable team. "Don't worry about that, Meowth. We have the perfect pokemon team to enter into the tournament", Jessie tells it as James adds, "A terrific Team Rocket trouble twosome." "Go Arbok!", shouts Jessie as James shouts, "Go Weezing!" And thus, the two pokemon come out of the pokeballs. "Duuuh, Arbok en Weezing? Are you two shore about dis or are ya not tinkin straight", asks Meowth. But since James hardly ever thinks straight, J & J happily explain to Meowth that Arbok and Weezing are a great duo. "Arbok and Weezing have been working together for so long, that they're destined to be a big time tag team", she says. "Just even saying Arbok and Weezing is like saying bread and butter or salt and pepper or even Malone and Stockton. They're a better team than any other two pokemon put together on the face of the Earth", adds James flamboyantly as always. "It's about time that you two got some credit for all the years you've been working together, isn't that right Arbok?", asks Jessie. "Chaaaaarr-bok!", agrees Arbok as Wobbuffet agrees as well. Jessie then argues to Meowth that while Arbok and Weezing aren't exactly the most spectacular pokemon individually, but together, they may be able to do something successful. "Tag team titles, here we come!!", announces James. "Okay... den let's get it on", says Meowth sounding a bit skeptical still as Wobbuffet wobbs out once more before getting called into its pokeball.

We then hear a bell ring as the lights shine on a big ring in what looks like a high school or secondary school gymnasium with stands all around as the competitors are all separated in the locker rooms just outside the facility. In the back is the threesome together after they've put on some sporting equipment for their rigorous competition of commanding and ordering others. "I'm glad that Stone Cold Steve Austin let us all in this tournament. That way even if I don't win, one of us can still be champions... not that I'm counting on you guys to lose", Crystal says addressing the threesome and not expecting her pokemon team to lose. "Pika pikaaah!", announces Pikachu saying that 'she damn right we kickin' ass as Sandshrew also boasts confidence as well. "May the best team win", says Misty with a bright smile sporting a pony tail as is Crystal like they're ready for actual competition as the others seem to agree.

"Oh good, you three are ready!", Stone Cold tells them as he approaches. He tells them that they expanded the tournament to 16 teams for the first time so that he could include Cris-tal's little friends. "Great! We might even face off against each other later in the tournament", says Justin as Crystal remarks that she's counting on it. Stone Cold then explains the formal rules... here's what's relevant...

1) It is a single elimination tournament involving 16 pokemon 'tag teams'.

2) Trainers may substitute pokemon at any time by tagging each other.

3) The match will be considered over when one pokemon is laying on the mat when the referee makes the three count.

He then tells Crystal that her first round match will the third match, Justin's will be fifth, and Misty's sixth, and then he informs them to be ready. "Yes sir!", they reply as some guy with spiky hair walks by them giving his team composed of a Kingler and a Houndoom a pep talk. "Whoa, check out that team", says Crystal as Sandshrew and Pikachu get a look at some competition. "Oh, I believe his name is Fez. He's a really skilled trainer and real popular with us and this tournament. He even won the tag team pokemon titles last year with the help of that Houndoom", explains Stone Cold Steve Austin. "Defending champion?", wonders Misty as she looks more closely while Crystal is fixating on Houndoom like it's appeared in many of her acid trips before, and so she breaks out the pokedex.

Houndoom - the Dark pokemon - the evolved form of, Houndour. Legend states, that if you are burned, by the flames, Houndoom shoots out of, its mouth, the pain will, never go away.

"Houndoom sounds like a tough customer. We'd better get ready you guys", Crystal tells Sandshrew and Pikachu. "Shreewwwwww", mutters Sandshrew looking ominously at Houndoom who notices the staring Sandshrew and stares back before Fez brings him and his Kingler along. Stone Cold holds her up brings up one more thing saying he needs to know what their teams are going to be before they can go scatter about and compete. "I am assuming that you're going to use Sandshrew and Pikachu, Crystal, since they're the reason I invited you in the first place", Stone Cold tells her. "Absolutely right, they're ready to rock!", Crystal says proudly as the two call out in confidence. So then he turns to Misty asking her, "Have you decided on a team young lady?"

"Yes I have.... I'm a water pokemon expert and I'm going to show what can happen when water pokemon can work as a team whether they're new and fresh or seasoned and experienced. That's why I'm going to call upon my newest sensational water pokemon and one of my oldest who's rarely let me down", declares Misty getting all revved up, "I'm going to choose Wooper and Staryuuuu!" She throws out her two pokeballs, Wooper comes out of the first, but instead of Staryu, Psyduck comes out of the second. "Psyyduuck!", quacks Psyduck making Misty quiver with fear. "Psyduck? You're... going to be a team... player, aren't you?", asks Misty. "Psyyduuck", answers Psyduck tilting its big head and pointing to itself. This makes Stone Cold Steve Austin roar with laughter saying, "AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA, that's great. The look on that Psyduck's face is priceless." "Well", laughs Misty nervously with a sweatdrop in her hair, "Psyduck is a good joker... heh heh... I guess." "Psyyy", wonders Psyduck as Wooper sits politely. The entertainment of Psyduck makes Stone Cold tell Misty that Psyduck's character is wonderful for the ring and should make for a terrific partner in the tournament... after all, entertainment value counts in wrestling. "Uhhh... I... hope so", utters Misty who apparently is going to use Psyduck in the tournament. Yay!

"And you?", Austin then asks sounding hoarse turning to Justin. He answers, “Good question. For my winning team, I'm going..”, but then Misdreavus pops out interrupting him. Not wanting to be stuck with an undesirable pokemon like like Misty, he shouts while calling back Misdreavus, “Oh no you don’t!!” "<nervous laughter> Nevermind that, let’s try again. For my winning team, I'm going to use Raticate and Dragonite", he says before sending them out.... miraculously, Misdreavus does not intrude here. "You're using Dragonite!?", wonders Crystal a little bit intimidated before thinking to herself, "Man, that's going to be a tough team for anyone to beat." "That's right. I'm using Raticate because it's smaller which allows it to move around the ring much faster which helps it use its speed that few pokemon can match. And once Raticate wears out the opponent, it's time for the big dragon! Dragonite will be too much for whatever's left of my opponent's pokemon", brags Justin as Dragonite barks to back him up with goggles on. "Smart move, son. Alright.... be ready... you're matches are coming up soon", Stone Cold tells them. "Okay", they all reply.

Meanwhile, entering the gym in another area is some young random boy coming in getting all psyched about being invited to the tournament. "Well... here it is. Time to lay the smack down on the competition", says the boy in his loser talk mode which is interrupted when a pair of hands from behind a door snatch the boy for his cheap ripoffs of cliched statements. Some struggling is heard to break free and once it ends, another team dressed in the finest wrestling entertainment attire as they...... oh wait, it's just Jessie and James ready to be the baddest heels they can be. Gasp, there's a shocker! "Well now... I think we've found our spot, haven't we?", laughs Jessie behind her headdress as James follows her out. "Once Team Rocket wins the title, I'm gonna be da King uh da Ring", proclaims Meowth since he's the only eligible king of the three of them, not including Arbok or Weezing.

They proceed down the hall a few more steps when a pony-tailed dude approaches them saying, "Excuse me, are you guys here for the tournament?" This initially frightens Team Rocket as they stutter at the presence of the wrestler greeting the three entertainers, Mr. Rob Van Dam. "W-why yes, nobody can beat us. We put the team in tag team", Jessie responds smiling at RVD the wrestler. "Especially wit da best manager in da business", boasts Meowth. "Who are you talking about, Meowth?", wonders Jessie dissing him. "Huh? Ey, I'm talkin' about me! No one kin organize teams like Meowth, baby!", responds Meowth playing it cool as he dons some shades to make him look official. James then tells him with a smile of his own, "Not even you, whoever you are. And I demand to know who are you anyway?" Well James... ask and you shall receive.... "Who am I?", wonders Rob Van Dam, "Why anybody that's anybody knows who I am, I'm Rob... Van... Dam", as he does his catch routine of pointing to himself with his thumbs as he bellows out each part of his name. He then asks them who they are to which TR responds with their motto. "Who are we?", repeats Jessie.

"If you want a little intro, then prepare for trouble and you'll see"
"We'll give our best performance and make it double RVD"
"To protect the world from devastation"
"To unite all peoples within our nation"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love"
"To extend our reach to the stars above"
"Jessie"
"James"
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight"
"Meeeeowth, that's right!", punctuates Meowth for Van Dam.

"Ohhh... I get it. You're with Team Rocket, that group of villains that steal and snatch pokemon everywhere", he says realizing it while keeping cool. "In-deedle-lee-doo", replies Meowth. "That's funny, because looking at the brackets here, I don't see a slot for Team Rocket anywhere", RVD tells them looking at his papers for the tournament, "But there still may be hope. We were waiting for a trainer named Skyler to arrive with his team and he's running a bit late. If he doesn't show up, then I guess I could replace him with you in his slot." "Yeah, about dat. We's good friends uh Skyler en I regret tuh inform ya dat he's been injuhed in en accident. He'd give anyting tuh be here tuhnight but he's still recoupuhratin at home with his sore en bruised body", says Meowth sounding grim. Jessie then adds pretending to be morose, "Yes, since we were really good friends with him. He requested that we take his place in the tournament. We were a little reluctant at first believing we weren't quite worthy, but.... but he wanted us to fulfill his wish and.. and we couldn't say 'no' to seeing some of our favorite wrestling superstars, especially you Mr. Bob Van Dam. So.. here we are", as she gets misty-eyed near the end. "Ohhh... in that case, I'm sure I can fit you in. Just let me know what your team is and get ready, cuz your match is coming up soon", Rob tells TR. "Thank you!", they immediately reply sounding much cheerier.

So now this so-called 'exclusive' tournament with 'elite' pokemon tag teams now has a team that includes an acid trippy Psyduck, a Dragonite that should go back to the 70's, and of course, our own favorite bumblers, Team Rocket. So much for the prestige that goes along with the WWE.

Meanwhile, in another part of the backstage area, we see Pikachu and Sandshrew running around and getting ready for their matches which includes using their speed to run up on walls if they have to. "Loosening up, you guys?", Crystal asks as the rest of the threesome gets ready to warm up. "Shrew shrew", confirms Sandshrew as Misty notices on a TV monitor that the tournament is starting. And they notice that walking out to the ring is the Stephanie McMahon, the woman who runs Smackdown and apparently, the one who's hosting this tournament. Once she gets into the ring and grabs a microphone, she announces, "Welcome pokemon fans to the pokemon event of the year!!! ***cheers*** Tonight, you are going to witness the absolute best in pokemon team battling with a twist of WWE attitude. The stakes are high and so is the pride of every team that comes out here to compete for you in this ring. But while every team will pour their hearts and their guts out, only one team will have the honor of being called Pokemon Tag Team Champions. So without any further ado, let the tournament begin with our first match of the evening!!!"

More cheers flow from the bleachers as TR is also watching her noticing her professional attire that she's wearing. "Hmmpf, all that money she's got, and she still can't buy any class", snubs Jessie. James meanwhile criticizes, "She's gotta kidding with that skirt, right? Look at how drab and high up on her it is!", pointing that out with a bit of a whine. As for the topics of chatter in the room of the non-flaming, Misty remarks from the twerps area, "Wow, she certainly knows how to get some attention." "Yeah", agrees Justin, "I wonder if I could get her cell number for when she's in town next time." This draws a cold response from the two girls as Cris-tal moans and tells him sounding embarrassed, "I think the only number you need is a love counselor's." "Hey look, isn't that the guy that Stone Cold Steve Austin was telling us about?", points out Misty and Crystal concurs that it is Fez as it draws the attention of Pikachu and Sandshrew.

They see Fez ordering Kingler from ringside to stomp on Drowzee which it does and it almost knocks it down. The referee, Earl Hebner.. or at least some gym teacher that looks like him, goes down to the mat just like in a wrestling mat and slams his hand on the canvas, 1.... 2.... but Drowzee just gets up before a count of three to tag in its partner, a Golem. Golem uses a rock throw attack on Fez's Kingler which makes it retreat to tag in Houndoom. Golem tries to use a dynamic punch, but Houndoom counters with a crunch attack in which its gnarly jagged teeth bite down on Golem's wrist. "Goleeeeemmm!", cries out Golem in pain as Houndoom then finishes off Golem with a fire blast. The ref then goes down to count again 1.... 2... 3...., knocking out Golem despite the shouting of some black kid opponent with a backwards white Philadelphia Phillies hat on. The ring announcer then states the result announcing, "Here are your winners, Kingler and Houndoom, Team FEZ!!" The twerps are notable impressed by the team's performance and Misty is amazed that Houndoom was able to knockout Golem so quickly since fire types are usually weak against rock types like Golem. "Yes, but that Houndoom must be at a very high level and it also uses dark type attacks which work very well against rock/ground types. But you also can't count out the teamwork it has with its partner Kingler", Justin says. "We can beat them, as long as we all trusting in each other. In the meantime, I have to get out there. It's almost time for my match", says Cris-tal and the other twerps wish her luck.

Thus, we proceed now to her match where she is out there with Sandshrew and Pikachu in the ring ready to kick ass as they wait for an opponent. "Hmm... we've already been announced. I wonder who our opponent's going to be?", wonders Crystal... but not for long. The music blares throughout the gym shouting, "Oh Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaahhhh!!", as Justin is able to recall the song claiming it sounds familiar. It's actually Matt Hardy's entrance theme and out walks Matt Hardy the wrestler himself. "Oh man, he get's a whole musical entrance. All that Sandshrew, Pikachu, and I got was a silent trip to the ring", comments Crystal as Mr. Hardy approaches them. "Is that... a wrestler?", wonders Misty watching from backstage as Justin notices Matt Hardy wondering why a wrestler would be in this competition. "Oh yeah... ol' Matt wouldn't shut up about wanting to participate with his little team, so he got one of the invites to the tourney", Stone Cold tells them coming through to check on them.

"I was coming here expecting a tough tag team challenge, and I get this?? An infantile pair of rodents? Hah, they're going to be run out of the building with even the small sampling of Mattitude that I will dose to them and to you, you lacker of Mattitude", Matt Hardy taunts at Crystal with the music getting cut off. "Pikaaa", grumbles Pikachu being the angrier of the two of them as Crystal shows a sweatdrop behind her head, unfamiliar with Mr. Hardy's routine. She then recovers to issue a diss of her own saying, "You can have all the 'Mattitude' you want, but Sandshrew and Pikachu are the better team." Her pokemon second her as Matt Hardy replies, "Well this will certainly test their meager skills as a pokemon tag team. After all, it is I that has been a dominating tag team champion myself", as he brings out his tag team of an Electabuzz and a Farfetch'd. The bell then rings soon after and the star team's first match begins as Crystal looks a little unsure as to what to do.

Electabuzz is commanded to use a thunder attack surprising Crystal who is barely able to react in time with Pikachu, the pokemon in the ring, who uses a thunder of its own to cancel the attacks out causing an explosion of light. "Whoa", reacts Matt Hardy, "Guess it's time to turn up the juice on these chumps. Electabuzz! Dynamic punch!" Electabuzz lunges for Pikachu who avoids the punch and then rebounds off the ropes and comes back at Electabuzz with an iron tail attack. Pikachu's tail turns bright as it tail whoops Electabuzz who is able to keep itself standing by using a reflect attack. "Now I get it, I can use the wrestling ring and area just like wrestlers do. Pikachu, use quick attack!", shouts Crystal as Pikachu darts back at Electabuzz clipping it. But Electabuzz retaliates by dynamically punching Pikachu sending the little electric rodent down for a one count. "Pikachu! Thank goodness you're alright", Crystal says as Pikachu replies proudly, "Give yourself a break, tag in Sandshrew!"

And thus, Pikachu tags in its tag team partner, like that's a first, and Sandshrew comes in ready to take down the electric cat like thing as it declares (sort of), "Eeelllblblblblblbbllblbuuzz." Electabuzz tries to slow down Sandshrew with a thunder wave but being a ground pokemon, Sandshrew absorbs it and fights back with a slash attack which damages Electabuzz. He follows it up with a sand attack which gives Electabuzz some vision problems. So Matt Hardy desperately has Electabuzz tag in its partner Farfetch'd before Sandshrew can finish off Electabuzz with an earthquake. "Darn... just got away. Well now it's up to us to take down Farfetch'd now", she thinks to herself before calling aloud for another sand attack which Farfetch'd blocks with its leek. "That leek!", notices Crystal, "If I can separate it, we can have a huge advantage." "HA! Farfetch'd here just has way too much Mattitude for Sandshrew to hang around very long", says Matt. "Oh yeah, well you should check out what my pokemon can do. I'm sure it'll be quite the.. Mattitude adjustment you could use", Crystal responds back to him.

She then has Sandshrew go for Farfetch'd with a body slam attack as Matt Hardy claims that she made a big mistake and has Farfetch'd try to cut Sandshrew down to size. But just before Farfetch'd leek can knock down Sandshrew, Crystal uses a somewhat weird and goofy tactic. She has Sandshrew use its defense curl where its rough body closes itself around the leek of Farfetch'd ripping the prized twig from the duck-billed pokemon's possession. "Hey! How dare you take its leek, that's cheating!", complains Matt. "Nope, it's just bad Mattitude. Sandshrew, use rollout attack on Farfetch'd", quips Crystal ordering the finishing blow to the opponent which Sandshrew delivers despite a frantic attempt by the opponent to escape the ring. Farfetch'd lands on its tail, the ref counts 1-2-3, bada bing bada boom, Crystal wins. "Here are your winners, Sandshrew and Pikachu, Team CRYSTAL!", shouts the announcer as Team Cris-tal rejoices and celebrates. "Hmpf", reacts the spoiled Matt Hardy, "If it was me actually battling, we wouldn't have lost a fluke match like that. Oh well, time to try and land that Sprite deal I've been pushing for", as we see Farfetch'd writhing in pain behind him in the ring as it gets called back along with Electabuzz as they get beaten.

"Great victory, Crystal", says a very VEEEERY proud Misty as Team Cris-tal goes to freshen up for their next match while she quips, "I'm sure that guy got a 'professional' lesson in teamwork." "He was a weirdo, I'll say that much", remarks Crystal as Sandshrew confirms, joining in the dissing of Matt Hardy, "Shouldn't you be getting ready to get out there?" "We're ready, I just want to catch a bit of Justin's match. I wonder who he's going to face?", answers Misty as they watch their pimp style threesome partner as he coaches and preps his tag team of Raticate and Dragonite for whatever team they will oppose. "Huh?", wonders Justin as the lights go dim as a voice that sounds like Meowth begins to announce, "En now, presentin' tuh you ladies, gentlemen, en esteemed pokeemon, da pinnacle uh pokemon teamwoik, da futcha tag team champines uh da woild..." "I'm really starting to think that we should've all had creative intros just like these guys", quips Justin. Meowth then finishes announcing under cover of darkness, "... da ONLY team tuh considuh when it comes tuh pokaymooon!" "TA DAAAAAAA!", proclaim Jessie and James as they emerge as Justin's first opponent making all the twerps gasp. "WHAT?!", shouts Justin as Misty and Crystal yell at the screen, "TEAM ROCKET!!!" "How did you weasel your way into this tournament?", asks Justin demanding to know.

"You ignorant twerp!", shouts back Jessie, "don't you know that talented professional entertainers like us were made for a stage like 'PROFESSIONAL' wrestling? Besides, I look way better than any of those wannabe amateur divas that step in this ring." "And we've got a team that goes together so well, you can't forget the combo", adds James. "The only thing professional about you three is that your professional fools. You've proven that over the past several years", proclaims Justin. The bell rings to signal the start of the match and TR sends out their team of Arbok and Weezing as Arbok starts out against Raticate. "Arbok, use poison sting!", declares Jessie as they start with their usual poison sting strategy to get the twerps pokemon moving. "It won't take long to dispatch you. Raticate, dodge them!", shouts Justin and Raticate gets around the stingers and then Justin has it use a slash attack. "Not so fast! Arbok, wrap up that Raticate!", shouts Jessie and thus, Arbok wraps up the mangy Raticate in its scales making TR encourage Arbok to squeeze the life out of Raticate. "Don't get your hopes up, Raticate, use your super fang attack!", shouts Justin and thus Raticate bites into Arbok's tail like it's a hot dog freeing it from Arbok's grasp as it then tags Dragonite into the ring.

Dragonite barks loudly at Arbok getting its attention and frightening TR. "Great, now what is we sposed tuh do wit dat big brut in da ring?", wonders Meowth. "Quick Arbok, tag in Weezing!", shouts James out of misguided panic. "HEY! Stop trying to direct the match. Leave that to me, I know what I'm doing!", shouts Jessie as most of the dodgers are sure to agree. "But I thought we were supposed to work as a team?", whines James. "We ARE working as a team... I'm just the leader that calls all the shots. Every team needs one", argues Jessie who then tells Arbok to tag in Weezing anyway leaving James sighing in despair. Weezing tries to use a smokescreen to protect itself, but Dragonite blows it away with a blizzard attack leaving Weezing teetering on the edge of defeat, somehow able to get up after the ref counts to 2. "Weezing, no!", pleads James as Justin states that it's time to end things and calls for Dragonite to use its zap cannon. But before the disco Dragonite can charge up, Misdreavus decides to come out of its pokeball finally to try and be the big hero, floating in front of Dragonite and zapping Weezing out of its poison molecules. "Misdreavus?? W-wait a minute, Misdreavus", pleads Justin but his pleas are ignored as Misdreavus electrifies the pathetic Weezing. A pleasant sight for you Weezing haters, Misdreavus zaps it leaving it more fried than a KFC breast bite. The only problem is that Misdreavus is not a registered participant in the match and the referee calls for the bell to DQ Team Justin. "That's some Pikachu-caliber voltage there", remarks Jessie as Meowth adds, "Yeah, maybe in more ways den one", looking at Misdreavus staring at Justin. "Misdreavus, this is not your battle", says Justin with a disappointed expression on his face as Misdreavus just croons back to him. "The winners of the match as a result of a disqualification, Arbok and Weezing, Team ROCKET!", shouts the ring announcer.

The twerps are stunned by the turn of events as Justin quietly sighs, "Looks like we've still got a ways to go with training", as he calls back Misdreavus. "It looks like your team is just another victim of the Team Rocket express", says James. "Next stop, the pokemon tag team titles!", says Jessie enthusiastically as Arbok and Weezing add to her optimism. "What do you plan to do with those belts anyway?", Justin asks looking annoyed. "Why, we're gonna show them off of course, proclaiming our title as the best team to have ever existed, Eeeee-hee-hee-hee-heee", James laughs. "And den, once dis tag team hype gets old 'en all of us have a toin wit' it, we'll sell dem en make mucho dinero", adds Meowth. "You don't know what being a real team is about", claims Justin, "Those belts are for the pokemon that work for them. A team earns them because two pokemon trust and look out for each other, and because their trainer looks out for them. You three could never fully realize the true value of rewards like that." "I'd like to think otherwise.... especially when we take them to the pawn shop. Uwa-hah-hah-hah-haaaaah", laughs Jessie making Justin moan to himself. Meanwhile, Misty and Crystal watch on in disgust as Crystal states that she can't believe Team Rocket is getting away with what they're doing. "Yeah. Even if we lose, we need to make sure that Team Rocket doesn't win", states Misty. "Don't worry Misty", assures Crystal, "Even if they get any farther, they won't advance past us!" Pikachu and Sandshrew also belt out their angry cries of disapproval of TR watching the TV screen.

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon?? (These pokemon once bullied Cyndaquil out of his dream mate, a Quilava ho.)

It's Typhlosion!! ........................ "Ty-phlOOOOOsion!"

Next up, it's Misty's turn as she faces a team of an Ariados and a Chansey managed by a kid with messed up spiky hair going all different direction, as well as a gray Adidas headband. Misty sends out Wooper while Psyduck waits confused at ringside and Chansey is sent out to battle first. "An Ariados and a Chansey? That's an unusual combination... I wonder how Chansey is going to attack", observes the eliminated Justin sitting in the bleachers as Misdreavus floats up next to him suspicious about his rumblings about Chansey. Ah, pokemon jealousy! "Hey, you were disobedient today, only obedient pokemon get to watch this", says Justin sucking up his Misdreavus into his pokeball and clearly reaching the point of total annoyance with it. The bell rings and the match begins with Misty saying, "Alright team, let's show 'em the power of water pokemon team. Wooper, use water gun." Wooper hoses down Chansey with a blast of water and then Chansey counters with a double slap attack repeatedly smacking Wooper into the turnbuckle in the corner. "Come on, Wooper. Fight back with another water gun!", shouts Misty while Wooper tries to hose down Chansey again. But its trainer has Chansey use minimize to barely avoid any damage from the attack. Wooper then uses a slam attack knocking Chansey into the ropes. But Chansey rebounds off the ropes just like the wrestlers that use them and it double slaps Wooper again to the concern of Misty.

Misty then notices that Chansey used the ropes to its advantage and launch its attack. The trainer then has his Chansey use soft-boiled to recover all of its health as Misty gasps out that fact. "Not so confident now, are you?", asks the opponent who I don't care to give a name to as he then has Chansey tag in Ariados. "Oh... why do I have to battle a bug type pokemon?", wonders Misty in disgust as Ariados attacks Wooper with leech life followed by night shade knocking it down, but only to a two count. "Wooper, you're alright. I guess you'd better tag in Psy....", says a relieved Misty after Wooper gets up from the attacks. "Psy? Duck?", wonders Psyduck when Misty refers to it making her utter that on second thought, Wooper better just hang in there as best it can. The trainer then has Ariados use fury swipes which Wooper initially avoids with swift dexterity, but eventually Ariados gets in a blow knocking Wooper against the ropes. "Wooper, no!! Wait a second, the ropes!", shouts Misty before realizing it can have Wooper bounce off the ropes as well, "Wooper, come off the ropes and use your slam attack!".

And thus, Wooper bashes Ariados into the corner turnbuckle with a slam attack coming off the middle rope, which Justin notices had extra punch to it with the momentum Wooper got by rebounding off the ropes. "Ariados, nooo!", shouts the trainer as Wooper lands close to Misty's corner and Ariados lands across from him, "Alright Ariados, time to finish off Wooper with a psychic attack!" Misty counters telling Wooper to use its earthquake attack and as Ariados is about to flash its eyes red to indicate it using its psychic abilities, Wooper...... just stands there. "What? What's going on?", wonders Misty. "Oh it's having an attack alright, an amnesia attack", says the trainer across from him making Misty gasp aloud. Wooper begins to struggle with Ariados's psychic attack before the blue slimy sperm carrying thing lifts its head up and declares, "Woo-paaahh!", signaling to Misty that it looks like Wooper remembered earthquake again after a brief drug trip... all signs point to Cris-tal... and thus Wooper strikes the ground rocking Ariados until a blast of energy travels across the ring kayo-ing Ariados as an exhausted Wooper looks on in front of a vegetable-like Psyduck holding its big head. The ref makes the pin count and reaches 3 giving Misty the win as Wooper won what was ultimately, a handicapped match. "Here are your winners, Wooper and Psyduck, Team Misty!", shouts the announcer as Justin is pleased for his threesome mate that is cheering and celebrating. "Yeeeeaah. Way to go, Wooper. I love you so much, I do , I do!", says Misty getting giddy over her win. "Woo-paah", comments Wooper savoring victory in the ring. "Crystal and Misty might have won their first round battles, but I have a feeling that the intesity is gonna go sky-high in the next round", comments Justin to himself as Misty lover her Wooper <snicker>.

And as expected, the pace of the matches pick up as does the story as we zip right into the middle of the next match involving Team Fez with his Houndoom and Kingler facing a Jynx in the ring and a Sunflora outside trained by a similar looking Hispanic guy plenty of jewelry all over the body (and that's just in places we can see). Fez's Kingler is suffering under the cold and pressure of Jynx’s blizzard attack and looks like its about to go down. Justin observes them and notes to himself, "If Kingler can't escape that blizzard and tag in Houndoom, then Fez's team is done for." But Fez has Kingler cancel out the blizzard with a hyper beam leaving both pokemon wobbling. Fez encourages Kingler to make it to the corner to tag in Houndoom while the opponent's Jynx uses the ropes to keep herself up and not in a position to be... well, a hoochie if you get the jokes about Jynx. Slowly, Kingler sidesteps its way to its corner where it manages to tag in Houndoom into the match by the claw. "Kingler got the tag!", gasps Justin and Houndoom races in to confront Jynx. "You can still win this Jynx, just hit Houndoom with your blizzard attack and leave it in a chunk of ice!!", shouts random invited opponent #2 as Jynx sends a gust of snow and ice towards Houndoom. "Houndoom, stop the blizzard with your fire blast!", shouts Fez and Houndoom sends a burst of fire at the ice storm. The two forces collide and refuse to give for a moment before Houndoom's fire blast proves to be a superior attack knocking back the blizzard and knocking down Jynx for the 1... 2... 3, giving Team Fez the win. "Here are your winners, Kingler and Houndoom, Team FEZ!", shouts the announcer as Fez congratulates Houndoom on a job well done. "Wow, Houndoom took down its opponent with just one fire blast!", says Justin in amazement as Houndoom roars, "Hooooouuuuunnnn", as it spews fire into the air.

We skip to the middle of good ol' TR's next match where Weezing looks like its in trouble against a Ninetales and a Politoed. "Politoed, use your doubleslap attack!", shouts TR's random insignificant opponent #3 sporting short spike red hair and a San Antonio Spurs jersey and the friendly froggy bitch-slaps the pathetic looking Weezing. "Come on James, have that fugly thing do something other than look like a loser!", Jessie shouts at James as Politoed starts to slap its belly Kamala-style. "I'm trying the best I can, Jessie", argues James as Meowth tells them not to worry for he's got a back-up plan. When Jessie tries to force Weezing to the corner to get its do-nothing carcass out of the ring the referee yells at Jessie to get down off of the apron and stops her from moving it, this gives Meowth the opportunity to creep up and slide some grease in front of Politoed while its using its belly drum. Justin notices it and thinks to himself that it raises Politoed's attack power though it sacrifices some energy. TR's opponent then has Politoed try to finish off Weezing with a body slam, but Politoed slips on the grease on the canvas poured on by Meowth and lands on its face to the horror of its trainer. Weakened by the fall, Politoed falls victim to a Weezing tackle attack which keeps it down. "Politoed, try to get up!", shouts the trainer as it struggles to make it off the mat as the ref begins to count. But with the ref concentrated on Politoed's upper body, Meowth sneaks up to the apron again to hold down Politoed's right leg just long enough to get the three count and he gets down before anyone really notices the scratch-cat. "Here are your winners, Arbok and Weezing, Team ROCKET!", shouts the announcer to the anger of the loser and the elation of Team Rocket. "That's funny, did I notice something trying to hold down Politoed there? I have a suspicious feeling about Team Rocket's involvement", thinks Justin. Meowth then celebrates the triumph laughing with J & J that, "We musta been too... slippery fur da competition tuh handle."

Can you believe it? They're the perfect heels... someone sign them up!

Flashing forward to Misty's match, where Wooper is taking another one on two pounding from an Ivysaur and an Alakazam. "Alakazam, use confusion and send Wooper flying", shouts this one girl with pretty big and wide black hair facing the silky smooth red-haired Misty. Alakazam sends poor Wooper sailing into the turnbuckle making it inadvertently tag in the confused Psyduck. Psyduck slowly walks into the ring and looks calmly as Alakazam tags in Ivysaur. "Alright Psyduck, you can do this, you just need to focus. Use your water gun, now!", shouts Misty as Psyduck merely quacks in confusion, tilts and holds its head giving Misty plenty of despair. "That Psyduck is the most pathetic pokemon I've ever seen step foot in the ring", says the suddenly bitchy girl, "Now Ivysaur, let's put it down, use vine whip!" Ivysaur enwraps Psyduck with its vines and then to the request of the li'l bitch, slams it with its vines right on Psyduck's big yellow noggin. But Ivysaur's not done as it then sends Psyduck flying into the turnbuckle finally letting go of poor Psyduck.

You can probably guess what's gonna happen next....

"Psyduck, are you okay? Try to get to the corner and tag Wooper", says Misty but her opponent warns her that it's too late as she then has her Ivysaur try to finish it off with a solar beam attack. "Psyduck, hurry and do something", pleads Misty as she notices that Psyduck is holding its head tighter than usual. "Wait a minute, Psyduck's headache. Maybe it can help me. Well I have to cuz it might be my only chance", figures Misty. So she has Psyduck use its disable attack which freezes Ivysaur turning it blue making it unable to use its solar beam. "Oh no", gasps the young bitch who's not laughing anymore as Misty then has Psyduck use confusion which sees Psyduck turning its head left and right slamming Ivysaur back and forth into the corner turnbuckles several times. "Psssyy-duck.... duck... duck... duck... duck... duck... duck... Psyyyyyyduuuuck!", quacks Psyduck as it moves Ivysaur around like a pinball before letting it go to look like a dead body in the middle of the road as the ref slams his hand to the mat for the 1... 2... 3... "Here are your winners, Wooper and Psyduck, Team MISTY!", shouts the announcer as Misty celebrates her victory. "Yaaaay! Way to do it, Psyduck. I couldn't have won without you, you're awesooomme!", she shouts enthusiastically. Psyduck simply responds from the ring by tilting its head once again and responding, "Pssyy-duuck!"

Finally in the second round, we zip right into Crystal's match as Pikachu has its paws full with a Wigglytuff and a Jolteon commanded by a guy that looks like a taller, less fuzzy Colin Farrell as both Pikachu and Wigglytuff look like they have an equal amount of energy left. "Pikachu, use quick attack!", shouts Crystal and her opponent calls for Wigglytuff to counter with a double-edge attack which Pikachu takes the brunt of when they collide. Pikachu is then commanded to use a thunderbolt again, but Wigglytuff blocks most of it with a light screen and then uses double slap on Pikachu to the concern of Crystal. After a pin count of almost 2, Wigglytuff is then ordered to tag in Jolteon who echoes, "Jolt jolt", before the two of them simultaneously use a double-edge attack on Pikachu knocking it down again. "Pikachu, try to get up!", shouts Crystal as Sandshrew also pleads on in encourage as Pikachu musters up just enough energy to get up at the count of 2. "Whew, that was close. But that team just attacked together. I guess you can double up on an opponent with good timing... it may give us a chance to win", she says to herself before telling Sandshrew to get ready.

"Jolteon, use sand attack to keep that Pikachu in place", says the tall guy opposing Crystal as Jolteon sprays Pikachu with sand making the yellow rodent squeal out, "Chaaaaa!" "Now Jolteon, end it with thunderbolt!", shouts the dude as Jolteon sends a blast of electricity towards Pikachu. "Come on, Pikachu. You have to use your agility or we'll lose. Come on, reach down deep and you can get to Sandshrew!", says Crystal. Pikachu waits until the very last moment as then the rodent escapes dodging bolt after bolt of electricity as Jolteon is desperately told to stop it before it gets to Sandshrew in Cris-tal's corner. But it's to no avail as Sandshrew darts into the ring and Crystal says to them, "Alright you guys, let's attack Jolteon together just like they teamed up on you guys." The couple obliges and Crystal has Sandshrew climb up to the top turnbuckle and use a skull bash. So Sandshrew climbs up and then curls itself tightly ready to launch itself like a luchador. and then tells Pikachu to use its iron tail attack. Pikachu's tail turns bright and then it swings its tail towards Jolteon. "Ha ha, Jolteon's way to fast for that. Alright Jolteon, jump out of the way!", shouts Jolteon's trainer from its corner.

And while Jolteon is stuck up in the air, Crystal has Sandshrew use the opportunity to launch at Jolteon with its skull bash attack leaving Jolteon in a bad way to its trainers fear. Crystal then has Sandshrew use its patented sandstorm where Sandshrew shouts, "Saaaaaaaashreeeeeeeeeewwwwwwww!", and then it raises its arms releasing a swirling wind of sand that gives Jolteon a hard time. "Hurry Jolteon, you have to make it to the corner", shouts its trainer. But Cris-tal is determined not to let that happen having Sandshrew bounce off the ropes and then use a take down attack to deal more damage with the added momentum that the ropes give. Obviously she watched Misty's match as she would surely insist for herself. Sandshrew lands on Jolteon with tremendous impact landing Jolteon like a pancake on the canvas. "Alright, Crystal finally learned how to use teamwork in the ring as well as how to use the ring to her advantage. That should leave Jolteon on the mat and give Pikachu and Sandshrew another 'W'", states Justin assertively as the referee counts to three to give Team Crystal, very much the good guys here, the win. "Here are your winners, Pikachu and Sandshrew, Team CRYSTAL!" "We did it", celebrates Crystal not too excitedly, "Great teamwork you guys, but we're still only halfway home", reminds Crystal as Sandshrew and Pikachu celebrate with each other in the ring.

"So, the twerps got lucky and won", observes Jessie along with Arbok and Weezing as TR watches from backstage. "That means we're going to have to face one of those twerps in the next round", says James. "Ain't tha next round da semifinals? And couldn't we also face dat othuh trainer wit his Houndoom?", asks Meowth. "I hope not, that Houndoom looks scary", cowers James. "I don't care how much those other pokemon scare you, those twerps are going to go down and Team Rocket will be rightfully proclaimed as the tag team champions of the world. Uwa-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-haaaaah", declares Jessie before going into cackling. "But don't we always lose to the twerps head to head?", James wonders. "Don't worry about that, da only judge of dis match that matters is dat refuhree in da ring", states Meowth. "You're right Meowth, and Team Rocket can pull whatever kind of dirty tricks that we want just as long as that stupid referee doesn't disqualify us. So once we cause our interference...", says Jessie. "We can take out all their powerful pokemon and become tag team champions of the world", finishes James. "And what team of pokemon deserves to win the titles more than Arbok and Weezing??", asks Jessie.

How about a team that can smile?

Anyway, Jessie then remembers, "Ahh, who can forget about how they've been working together ever since their first days as upstanding members of our crooked organization." There's then a brief flashback as the two pokemon terrorize the Pokemon Center as Ekans and Koffing back in the second ever episode. Ah, memories! And then there are some more images of them fighting along standing side-by-side through good times and bad times as Jessie illustrates that point and adds that they've been together so often that they practically grew attached to each other. Out of the brief flashback, Jessie finishes looking at Arbok and Weezing, "Who better to represent tag team pokemon battling than you two? Sure, you may not be the most successful two pokemon, particularly you Weezing, but you two can still get the job done and win!" "En I got more tricks left tuh help us down da twoips en propel us to da top! En we'll do it right in da twoips faces. Dey'll be so misuhrable, dey'll be 'broken up", says Meowth finishing with some PUN-ishment. "That's right, Meowth", declares Jessie as Meowth wonders, "Eyyy wait a minute, isn't dat my line?" Jessie ignores him and proclaims, "If those twerps didn't like Team Rocket before, then wait till the huge showering of jeers we'll receive as the most underhanded pokemon tag team wrestling bad guys ever." TR then cackles diabolically as they prepare to cheat just like Vince McMahon would for whichever opponent they face in their next match.

And the whole dialogue can just go to show you that cartoon villains are nothing more than wrestling villains.. both groups are often sexy as hell and will pull out almost anything for entertainment. Looks like it's time for the WWE to book a new tag team... in.. the gay/female division, of course.

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon?? (This fruity looking fish does not look like that Nemo character from the Disney movie despite the similar colors.)

It's Goldeen!! .................................. "Goldeen goldeen."

Elsewhere back in the locker room area we find Crystal along with Sandshrew and Pikachu who are both getting reenergized before the next match. "I can't believe the quality of pokemon that are in this match. We've already seen a Jolteon, an Electabuzz, a Farfetch'd, Justin's Dragonite, a Politoed, even a Jynx. And I'm sure the teams that are still left will give us quite a challenge one way or another. But as long as Sandshrew and Pikachu stick together and trust in each other, I know that we can get through all those challenges", says Cris-tal to herself. She watches Athletic Trainer Joy monitor Sandshrew and Pikachu as they are in some kind of special rehabilitation chamber recovering from wounds suffered in the last match. "I just hope they're ready and conditioned to take on anything", she then says to herself.

Meanwhile, out near ringside, Justin asks someone sitting near him if they know what the semifinal pairings are. A black dude with an afro that looks like Lenny Kravitz but isn't replies, "Oh? Uhh, yeah I've been tracking the tournament on my program thus far. As you may tell, I've been huge fan of the ring tournament for years", he replies raising his eyebrows making Justin responds that it looks like it. He's also sporting a yellow Hulkamania shirt and a pimp hat with a pokeball on it... make of that what you will. The guy then let's Justin have a look at it and Justin analyzes the brackets and sees that the matches go like so...

Team Fez vs. Team Misty
and
Team Crystal vs. Team Rocket

"Interesting, so Team Rocket is going to face Sandshrew and Pikachu. And then if Crystal beats Team Rocket, Crystal and Misty will have a rematch from their last battle at Cerulean City where they ended in a draw. But something tells me that it's not going to be very easy for anybody to get to that belt", thinks Justin to himself. And thus, Crystal and Misty managed to past their first couple tests rather successfully, primarily because they weren't drug tests, but now this sh*ts gonna reach postseason intensity for our pill swallowing heroines as well as our heroes, TR, in a battle of faces vs. heels (or good guys vs. bad guys if you don't follow wrestling) which will happen next time. And for all you poor ass little kids, not to worry... for you won't need Pay Per View to read this tournament's conclusion.

To Be Continued