Dragonitemare presents

Pokemon Crystal Series

Ep. 70

When we left off our crazy train last time, none other than Stone Cold Steve Austin himself showed up while the threesome was chowing down pizza to personally invite Pikachu and Sandshrew to compete in an elite pokemon tag team battle tournament made of the best pokemon tag teams. Naturally, Crystal and co. accepted but then Justin and Misty felt left out, so they pleaded and argued with Stone Cold until he relented and accepted the two of them as well. But that's not all, our wuvably funny Team Rocket also sabotaged a trainer so that they could worm their way into the wrestling style pokemon tourney as well. All four teams took to the wrestling style environment like naturals competing, fighting, surviving, entertaining, and even cheating their way through to make it to the WWE pokemon tag team event semifinals.

Team Fez (the favorite to repeat as champions according to Mr. Austin) consisting of a Kingler and a Houndoom won their first two battles on the strength of the powerful Houndoom. Pikachu and Sandshrew defeated Matt Hardy's special Mattitude team and then used teamwork and trust to win their second round battle. Justin's team was about to defeat Team Rocket until Misdreavus intruded to try and impress Justin causing a disqualification allowing Team Rocket to advance. TR then interfered with the opponent's Politoed behind the referee's back just like most heels do to win their second round match. Meanwhile, Misty's unlikely team made it this far thanks to an impressive effort from her Wooper <snicker> in the first round taking on two pokemon and then having Psyduck use its headache-powered psychic attacks to win in the second round. So now with four teams left, the sticking questions are who can win the tournament and how dodgy can things get?

<cue intro>

Somewhere in the locker area (around locker #4:20) getting ready for her battle is Crystal, looking stoned as she sits against one of the lockers looking at Pikachu and Sandshrew conversing closely with each other on the bench near her. Good thing this competition doesn't drug test.... but then again, the WWE lets the steroids fly anyway, so it's no problem if Cris-tal smokes a little reefer, right? "Man, time just doesn't seem to be moving at all. Am I really this anxious about being this close to winning the tournament?", wonders Crystal. "Pii pikaah", cheers Pikachu trying to brighten her up like Sandshrew is brightened up.... but not EXACTLY like how Pikachu brightens Sandshrew's spirits. "Are you guys as anxious as I am?", she asks. "Saaanshrew shrew", replies Sandshrew sounding rather positive as Crystal supposes she's more worried being the trainer and caretaker than they who are actually putting their little rodent bodies on the line for the championship. She then says that Misty's match is coming on and that they should watch it. She then tells them, "Let's cheer for Misty you guys, cuz if she wins, we can face off against her in the finals." "Piii pikaaah", remarks Pikachu sounding a little bad that it may have to whoop Misty's pokemon's arses. "Yeah, I would feel a little strange about having to face her though", Cris-tal says sounding reserved.

Out at ringside, we see Justin biting into his cheesy nachos enjoying each bite of them. "These cheese nachos are certainly a relief for my empty stomach", he proclaims happily washing away the stress and humiliation of losing in the first round. "MISDREEEAAVUUS!", shouts Misdreavus surprising Justin as the cheese sauce and nachos land on his head to the lusty ghost's concern. "Mis-dreee", says Misdreavus wanting to lick the cheese off him to get rid of the problem. "It looks like you look good enough to eat", mocks Stone Cold Steve Austin going over to him ready to watch the remaining battles from a good view. "Unfortunately, that's the problem", Justin moans as he returns Misdreavus to his pokeball. "Mind if I sit down and have a couple of drinks", Stone Cold asks. Wrestling aficianado Justin excitedly replies, "Really? Of.. of..", he then calms down and graciously says, "Uhh.. umm... Absolutely, feel free!" Justin then looks like he's thirsty for Stone Cold Steve Austin's favorite beverage, known to man as 'beer'. But in order to keep the show ethical and legal and meet 4Kids' lofty standards, Austin tells him, "You look like you're in enough of a mess as it is, I don't think you're ready enough or of age to share my drinks. You should go wash off the Doritos on your head." "I will, after I see Misty's match", says Justin as we go to the ring and hear the announcer call out the entrance of Team Fez, Kingler and Houndoom as Team Misty, Wooper and Psyduck is already in the ring.

"All right you guys, this is gonna be the toughest fight that we've had so far, but we can do this. You're water pokemon, and that Houndoom's a fire type so let's soak 'em with all the water power we've got, you feel me?", proclaims Misty. "Psyduuuuck", replies Psyduck gloriously leaping into the ring to partake in the fray. "Kingler, Houndoom, get out there!", shouts Fez as both of them approach the ring rapidly and Houndoom goes in to begin the battle. "Psyyy-duck", wonders Psyduck staring across at the mighty Houndoom that stares at it and gives him a chilling roar. "Hooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuunnnnddoooooommm!!", it roars scaring the sh*t out of Psyduck. "PSYDUUUUUCK! Psyduckpsyduckpsyduckpsyduckpsyduckpsyduuuuuck!", it quacks in fear zipping back to his corner to let Wooper face Houndoom. "Hey, I thought you were a team player", chides Misty looking up at Psyduck on the ring apron as Psyduck lets its head down and sighs, "Psyyyy."

So she sends up Wooper to face Houndoom making Fez respond, "Hah, that Wooper won't be able to stand too long. Let's take it down now, Houndoom! Use fire blast!" Houndoom sends out a star shape of fire that screams towards widdle Wooper but Misty has Wooper sidestep the fire blast doing so with precision and a bit of grace. Fez then has Houndoom try to slow down Wooper with leer but Misty encourages Wooper not to let Houndoom's menacing leer scare it and it goes to slam into Houndoom. "Houndoom! Fight it off!", shouts Fez as it growls even angrier to shake off Wooper who bounces off the hellish looking dog pokemon like a raindrop sending it down but only for a 1 count, and barely a 1 count at that as the spunky little Wooper has plenty left in the tank. And with the less than reliable Psyduck as a partner, it's going to need plenty. "Come on Wooper, another slam attack! Just make a bigger impact this time!", shouts Misty having Wooper slam into it again. This time, Houndoom feels the impact a little bit, but Wooper still seems to take more of the damage getting knocked down again for another 1 count.

"That Houndoom is one tough son of a gun! It's hardly even feeling any of Woopers high-impact attacks", says Stone Cold Steve Austin. "Right now, it's looking totally unstoppable. I wonder what Misty can do", adds Justin sitting next to him. "Alright Wooper, if physicality isn't going to nudge that beast, then we're going to have to put out its fire and I know just how to do it", Misty tells Wooper assertively, "Wooper, use water gun!" "Woo-paaah!", says Wooper unleashing a stream of water at the mighty Houndoom. "Houndoom, ember attack!", shouts Fez and Houndoom lets out a huge blast of fire which totally douses Wooper's water gun and torches the little blue dodgy pokemon to Misty's disbelief. "Amazing! Houndoom's fire attack totally wiped out that water gun like it was nothing! Now what's Misty gonna do", gasps Justin.

Wooper gets up after another one count but it looks wobbly and appears to be ready to be finished off, especially as far as Fez sees. "Alright Houndoom, now finish it off with a crunch attack!", states Fez as Houndoom goes up to sink its teeth into Wooper for a crushing victory making Misty really anxious. "Wooper, watch ooooouuut! Hold on", shouts Misty before realizing something and then ordering, "Wooper, use your water gun again and fire it into Houndoom's mouth, quickly!" "Woopaaahh!", says Wooper as it then fires its water gun out of its mouth and into Houndoom's as they exchange fluids. Ewwwwww! As Fez is anxious about Houndoom, Misty then has Wooper slam it using momentum from the ropes with more success this time making Houndoom stumble, but not faint. So Fez has Houndoom tag in Kingler so it can regroup and save strength for later while Kingler wears Misty's basically one pokemon team down.

"Alright Wooper, don't let down now, we can do this!", states Misty in encouragement from ringside. "Woo-paaaah", replies Wooper as Psyduck looks on inquisitively from its corner. "Wooper, use water gun!", shouts Misty and Wooper lets go of a water gun attack and tries to exchange fluids with Kingler. But the kooky crab pokemon is in no such mood for that and Fez has Kingler block the attack with its oversized claw. "Kingler, use your crabhammer attack!", shouts Fez and Kingler swats at Wooper with its huge claw which the little blue thing dodges making Fez shout, "Come on Kingler, turn up the pressure!!" And thus, Kingler starts swinging its claws more rapidly and Wooper expends more energy darting and weaving out of the way of each attack. "Wooper's really moving.. even after that tough struggle with Houndoom", observes Justin. "Yeah, but can it keep it up for much longer?", wonders Stone Cold and just as we would likely envision, Kingler switches up on Wooper and hits it with a bubble attack that knocks Wooper into a neutral turnbuckle. She then thinks to herself, "Any attack that Wooper could try to make at Kingler can just be blocked by that claw since it's just so big, I'll have to find a way around it and I think I know how."

So she has her Wooper use its earthquake attack which sends a burst of energy zooming towards Kingler. Fez desperately has it try to get out of the way, but its sidestepping makes it too slow to avoid it and sends Kingler down to be counted. "Now that's one Texas sized earthquake attack from a Rhode Island sized pokemon", comments Stone Cold. "No way for Kingler's huge claw to block that", adds Justin sitting next to him as the referee slams his hand on the mat 1.... 2..... but not 3 as Kingler made it up just in time. "Come on Wooper, we can do this!", shouts Misty yelling from behind Psyduck as Fez thinks to himself that if he lets Kingler take another earthquake blow, it'll be in big trouble. So he tells Kingler that it did well and lets Houndoom take over since it's regained enough energy to fight. "So that Houndoom's back in, I'm sure this is going to be a smashing finish. I wish Crystal and company weren't preparing so she could see Misty battle", says Justin thinking about Misty, Cris-tal, and their relationship.

Fez has Houndoom use its crunch attack leaping up to bite down on Wooper. So Misty tries to have Wooper fire its water gun again into Houndoom's mouth, but this time, Houndoom closes its mouth not wanting to risk anymore open mouth viruses. Houndoom takes the water shot on the forehead and then takes a bite out of Wooper as if it didn't even phase it and knocks down Wooper to the mat at the anxiety of Misty. And at times like these, you can look to the biting and fluid exchange and point out how close this is to pokemon pornography. Ewwwwwww. Justin freaks out unnecessarily that Wooper took a direct hit and it looks like it's done for according to Austin. The referee counts... 1... 2... and... not 3, for Wooper musters up enough energy to get up at about 2 1/2 making the rest of the audience get much more intrigued. "We got 'em on the ropes now! Finish the job with fire blast!", shouts Fez while Misty has Wooper try to have its big finish as well telling it to use amnesia so it can set up a more powerful earthquake attack. As the fire blast zips its way towards Wooper, it looks like it'll scorch Wooper through its SPF 250 slime-type dodgy substance over its body. "Woo-PAAAHH!", shouts Wooper to signify that it is ready and Misty gives the order to rattle Houndoom's world with an earthquake attack. Wooper jumps up and slams down on the ground to shake the complex again and to blast Houndoom out of the match. "Here it comes", proclaims Justin as the earthquake rocks the ring. And once the ring calms down, Misty is ready to proclaim that Houndoom is down and out. And as we see the ring displayed again over the shoulder of the observant Psyduck, Houndoom.....

....... stands unharmed?!? on top of the turnbuckle?!? Wha, who, how da, uy, gee, eee, uy ve.... "Huh?? Wha, what happened? How did Houndoom avoid that attack?", wonders Misty. "Obviously this is your first pokemon battle in a wrestling ring, the ropes and turnbuckles of this ring provide enough shock to absorb attacks from the ground", says Fez. "AHHH!", gasps Misty, "So Houndoom escaped by..." "Simply hopping onto the top rope and holding on just in time", finishes Fez. "Now that's some ring presence right there", says Stone Cold chugging his.... frosty beverage. "That does make sense though, that canvas surface as well as the ropes and turnbuckles don't conduct energy too well on their surfaces, and since Houndoom was off the ground on the ropes, the energy from the earthquake attack couldn't reach Houndoom because the energy had to travel along the ground", explains Justin the physics professor as we see a replay of the earthquake energy zipping along the canvas. "Now Houndoom, let's win this one! Use your crunch attack one more time!", states Fez as Houndoom approaches the tired little blue guy and squeezes some more life out of him as Misty can only shout uselessly.

1... counts the referee as Justin and Misty both shout for a push to get Wooper up off the mat once more. 2... is then counted as Misty looks on helpless as does Psyduck as the hand slams down for 3 officially ending the match to Misty's disappointment and Fez's satisfaction. "Here are your winners, Houndoom and Kingler, Team Fez!", proclaims the announcer as Misty goes in to console the fallen little blue thing. "Oh, you poor thing. I'm really proud of the way you battled out there", says Misty. Psyduck gives us a quick, "Psyyyduck", and then Misty says it can take a nice long rest for its troubles. "That little Wooper deserves a nice tall frosty beverage for what it was able to take and dish out", says Stone Cold Steve Austin with Justin adding that in the end, Houndoom and Kingler were just too strong and too experienced for Misty's team and then he hopes that Cris-tal can find a way to beat them.

It would've also helped if Psyduck didn't wus out and leave little ol' Wooper in a handicapped situation...

Meanwhile, as for the team that always seems like their odds are handicapped, Team Rocket is back in the locker room making their 'final preparations' for battling Crystal. "Come on James! Our match is next, aren't you done changing?", asks Jessie as we see ol' gay Jimbo down the way fidgeting with his shirt. "Just about, I just... can't... get... this shirt... on... aligned properly", says James struggling to have the top part of his uniform match his pants. And of course you know what this means, OMG, JESE N JAMES CHANJED IN TH SAM LOCKR ROOM. THIS MUST MEEN DAT THEY R IN LUV CUZ DEY KAN WATCH WON ANUTHER UNDRSS! "I tink ya should worry more uhbout alignin' ya brain den alignin' ya shoit", quips Meowth. "Well whatever, once we finish off the twerps, we'll be in line to be champions", says Jessie gleefully. "Chaaaaarbok", cries Arbok while Weezing cries, "Weezhing", being the two championship pokemon contenders lying in wait.

"Meowth, are you sure you have your plan ready to deal with those twerpy pokemon and that twerps hippie girl?", then asks Jessie. "Not tuh worry, ya guys. I've seen enough pro wrestlin' in my day in orduh to woik da battle tuh our advanage", proclaims Meowth in response. We then see a couple of still images of Meowth and his old Meowth gang and one of them getting into an arena as he states, "I even had da priviledge of seein' some ol' school wrestlin' a couple times at dee old Great Westuhn Forum back in da days when I was wit' my Meowth street gang." "That sounds pretty cool", admits James, "So is there anything you saw there that could give Arbok and Weezing some advice." "Dey don't gotta worry uhbout nuttin' but da bout. Let's just say dat one half of da twoipy dream team is gonna get 'sacked'", remarks Meowth. "I like how that sounds, swiping the belts AND swiping a pokemon", says Jessie maniacally as they all begin to laugh evilly. James then interrupt the cackling to ask Meowth, "Hey Meowth, aren't you thinking about football where someone can get 'sacked'?" "Heh... not anymore", he replies and they resume laughing as they head out to the ring.

Back out at ringside, Justin and Stone Cold see Misty taking a seat near them feeling a little down after losing to Team Fez. "Heeey, there you are Misty. Fine job there", compliments Stone Cold. "Thank you Steve, that was a great experience out there and it wouldn't have been possible without you. I just wish I could've won and faced Crystal in the finals. It could've been our big rematch from the battle at my gym", says Misty. "It's alright, there will be another time for that I'm sure", Justin consoles to her with the cheese and nachos finally washed out of his hair. "Yeah, at least now I can get a ringside seat and be a part of Crystal's match", Misty says before Psyduck comes out of its pokeball to catch the match as well. "Psyduck!", admonishes Misty, "If you just wanted to watch, you should have never come out of your pokeball to volunteer to fight in the first place." "Psyyyyyduuuuck", replies Psyduck making Misty moan in dismay.

Then Crystal comes out along with Sandshrew and Pikachu to a round of cheers as Misty and Justin give a shout out to her and the pokemon. And when Team Rocket comes out with Arbok and Weezing, the audience boos probably remembering how they cheated to win in the last round. "WHAT? They're booing us? The nerve of these dumbed down sports fans!", shouts an outraged Jessie making James try to calm her down weakly. "Dis must be one uh dose places dat boos greatness", figures Meowth. "Is that so?", she sneers as they make their way to the ring insisting, "Well by the time this match is over, those boobirds will be flying around out of control!!" "Wooooooooooobbbuuuuuhhffet!", adds Wobbuffet popping out of its pokeball. Jessie groans and tells the patient one that she's in no mood to deal with Wobbo and its silliness and joy.

The bell rings signaling the start of the match making Crystal tell TR, "I don't know how you three weaseled your way into this, but this is where you start packing!" "I don't think so, twerp! Arbok, use headbutt", replies Jessie defiantly. Pikachu avoids Arbok's headbutt and then uses its thunderbolt attack crying out, "Piiiiii-KAAAAHH-CHUUUUUUU!" Poor Arbok takes another jolt of electricity before it can get away and it is caught leaning against the ropes. "Bullseye!", shouts Crystal as then she figures that the referee should be counting. When he doesn't, she wonders why he does not go down and count and the referee explains to him that knockouts cannot occur on the ropes and that the pokemon has to be on the mat to make the count. "Oh", says Crystal while TR uses the opportunity to switch the fried Arbok with Weezing who looks fried but amazingly enough, is just that damn ugly.

"Weezing, use your smog attack!", shouts James making Cris-tal wonder since when did Weezing tag in. It covers the yellow electric rodent in a thick smoky gas covering the ring having Pikachu cough and Crystal shout, "Pikachu, stay down and try to sense Weezing coming through the smoke", while she shields her eyes from Weezing's discharge. "Now Weezing, tackle attack", says James sounding dramatic as usual. Weezing approaches Pikachu and Crystal sees a faint shadow of something floating through the smog, which is just enough to know that it's Weezing and thus she shouts to Pikachu, "Pikachu, Weezing's coming from my right. Fight back with quick attack." Pikachu heeds the warning and goes in the direction senses Weezing coming from. They end up colliding and both feeling the effects of bumping into each other. "Pi pika", coughs Pikachu as the smog starts to thin out. When it regains its sight, Crystal has it tag in its partner Sandshrew who comes racing into the battle as the smog finally clears. "Saashrew", shouts Sandshrew as Cris-tal encourages him to take the fight to TR.

James shouts for Weezing to stop Sandshrew with a sludge attack but Crystal retorts, "Not so fast, Sandshrew stop it with a sand-attack!" "Saashrew. Sanshreeeeewww", shouts Sandshrew as it sprays Weezing's four eyes with sand making it miss with its sludge again and again and again and again. Well, that's four more attempts to add onto Weezing's failure tally. "Heeey, that's unfair! Sandshrew raked the eyes", shouts an outraged James jumping onto the apron. The referee yells at him that there's no such thing as a raking of the eyes in a pokemon battle, that Sandshrew's sand attack is totally legal and to get down from the apron. Meanwhile, Sandshrew nails Weezing with a take down attack that would normally trigger a pin count, except James is still busy with the ref...... like you knew he would be <wink>.

"Hey, what's going on? A pokemon is down here!", shouts Crystal as we see James using one of TR's 'tactics' of using the referee to their advantage as he grabs the referee shouting, "She's getting away with a travesty here!" Meanwhile, Jessie is getting anxious and yells at Meowth, "Our team is in trouble. Do something Meowth" "Not tuh worry", he responds crawling into the ring and then he jumps up and prepares to scratch Sandshrew, "I wanted tuh get a closuh view of da action ANYWAY. Yyyyyah!" Meowth then scratches Sandshrew causing the dirty rodent to yelp in pain while Meowth drags Weezing's gasball carcass to the corner so it can tag in Arbok. "AHHHHHH! HEEEY, THAT'S CHEATING!", shouts Cris-tal as Meowth ducks back out of the ring just as James finally finishes with the ref (GETCHA MIND OUTTA DA GUTTA). An outraged Crystal now jumps onto the apron herself shouting, "Hey, Meowth attacked my team while you were distracted!" The referee tries to placate Cris-tal and warn her to get down as well while Weezing recovers to tag in Arbok. "Arbok, Weezing! Attack together!", shouts Jessie and the two of them double tackle Sandshrew making Crystal even more outraged as she tries to point out the unfair advantage. But the referee now yells at her, "Hey, you have to settle down and get off the apron or I'm going to have to disqualify you and your team." So Cris-tal slowly gets off the apron while the referee turns around to see Weezing retreat to its corner and now Arbok works over Sandshrew.

Boy, three battles in and Team Rocket looks like professional wrestling manager bad guys. It's like a role they were born to play.

"I can't believe Team Rocket, they're doing anything to stay alive cuz they know they can't beat Sandshrew and Pikachu", states Misty. "They're positioning the referee to get an advantage", cites Stone Cold Steve Austin. Justin then admits, "Now Crystal's team is actually in a lot of trouble." "Arbok, use your poison sting", shouts Jessie as Arbok peppers Sandshrew with stingers as it shouts in pain making it go down for a one count. "Come on Sandshrew, you can battle back!", Crystal tells him. "PIKAAAAAHHHH!", cheers Pikachu encouraging him on as Jessie commands Arbok to use poison sting again. But Crystal has Sandshrew use its defense curl to absorb the blow and then go at Arbok with a rollout sending it screaming very fast into the turnbuckle. "Arbok!", shouts Jessie as she goes over to it in the far neutral corner asking, "Are you okay my poor baby?" The ref then turns his attention there as well warning Jessie to get away from the participant. "What? How dare you, I'm trying to care for my pokemon. Can't you see that it needs medical attention!", shouts Jessie playing an outraged trainer. "Uhhh, it does?", asks the referee acting dumber than he looks as he bends down to see if Arbok is really hurt as it rests against the turnbuckle.

Meanwhile, Crystal and Pikachu are encouraging Sandshrew to shake off its injuries and try to tag in Pikachu. But while the referee is distracted yet again, Meowth strikes once more saying, "Heh... dis is one connection dat won't go tru!", and then he leaps up onto the apron and stuffs Pikachu into the rubber sack he's carrying and then takes off away from Cris-tal. "HEY! Come back here, Meowth!", shouts Crystal as she tries to go after the kitty on the run around the ring. "Sanshrew!", shouts Sandshrew as it tries to make a run at Meowth as well. But Jessie gets down from the apron as Arbok recovers so it can wrap its scales around Sandshrew to keep it from helping out. "Saaaaaaashreeeeewwwww", groans Sandshrew as it appears like its in some kind of submission hold. "Sorry kiddo, but I got what I came for... a piece uh dee action", replies Meowth racing away from Crystal around the ring as Pikachu tries to shock Meowth from inside the bag, but the protective rubber bag Meowth is carrying it with. He then adds after the attempted shock, "En we also made shore dat dat piece stay safe fuh all of us. He heh, hate tuh leave ya in da dust but dis ain't a track meet and I'm leavin' wit da prize!", and then he tries to leave Crystal behind as they both barrel through Jessie and James who struggle to get out of the way.

"We'll see about that", she declares, "Noctowl, go!!", and out comes the pokemon cocaine dealer. "Noctowl, go around the ring the other way and stop Meowth", she says as they do their best to focus in on each other. "HAAAAAAH HAH HAH HAH HAAAAAHH!", laughs Meowth as he sprints around the ring with Pikachu in his sack and then he rounds the corner before the last exit where he finds Noctowl flying at him at full speed making him panic, "WHAAAAAAAAA!" Noctowl bowls him over sending the bag flying out of Meowth's hands and out of the bag flies Pikachu..... right onto the noggin of Arbok who's still wrapped around Sandshrew whom the ref is focused on looking to see if he will submit. "Pikachu, use thundershock!", shouts Crystal as Jessie gasps, "WHAAA?!" "Piii-KAAAAAAAAH-CHUUUUUUU!", shouts Pikachu as it electrifies Arbok enough to release its grip and then Pikachu makes it back to the corner awaiting a tag with Meowth the interferer now KO'ed. Both pokemon are down but Arbok gets up first prompting the ref to start to make the count. "Oh no, Sandshrew is still damaged from all the hits it took from Team Rocket. He may not make it up", fears Justin as he, Misty, and Stone Cold look on from the seats. 1.... 2... but not 3 as Sandshrew makes it up and gets to his corner letting Pikachu come in to TR's dismay.

"Alright... Sandshrew got the tag!", proclaims Misty. "That team is not only real adorable but real tough...... kinda like me. I like that", adds Stone Cold as he peddles the image that Nintendo wants the viewers to see. Crystal then proclaims to Pikachu in the ring that they're going to have to be ready for anything since as usual, TR is resorting to their underhanded tactics. Arbok tries to bite Pikachu but the crafty little mouse averts Arbok's lunges not once, but twice. "Now use thunderbolt!", shouts Crystal as Pikachu prepares to zap out the purple serpent. James says that things look bad and Jessie states, "We can't let this happen. Go Dunsparce!", and she throws Dunsparce out into the ring. "Durrrrnnnn", goes Dunsparce as it looks up and around at the bright lights and big crowd. But Dunsparce doesn't stop Pikachu from zapping Arbok into next week. But the referee is distracted with Dunsparce trying to get it out of the ring threatening to DQ TR. This prompts Cris-tal yells at him, "They've been cheating this whole match behind your back and now they're doing it again." Jessie is helpless now as Crystal sends out Sandshrew to dispose of Dunsparce and then she tells the referee that Arbok is down and to make the pin count.

"We have to do something. We're the tag team champions, we can't lose the belts!", fears Jessie as the ref slams down his hand for 1 as the poke-couple's supporters count along with the ref aloud. Just before 2 is reached though, James tries a desperation maneuver and has Weezing use smokescreen so the ref can't see that Arbok will be down when he counts 3. After the two count, the smoke envelopes the ring blinding the referee so he can't make the three count making Crystal gasp. "Oh no", says Stone Cold as Misty declares that TR is doing anything to get in the referee's way because they know they can't win. "You can cheat all you want, Team Rocket, but I'm not going to wait for the unavoidable any longer. Sandshrew, use sandstorm to blow the smoke away", yells Crystal and Sandshrew raises up its paws and unleashes a sandstorm where he's able to whirl the ugliness, the smoke and Weezing, away from the ring to reveal the Arbok is just barely getting up. But Crystal takes care of that by having Pikachu use its powerful return attack. Pikachu beckons back and then turns blue as it then goes to put down Arbok one last time. The referee and the audience counts 1... 2... 3... and it's all over giving the victory to Crystal. "Here are your winners, Sandshrew and Pikachu, Team Crystal!", shouts the announcer as Crystal's team celebrates their big win letting them get into the finals. Justin and Misty celebrate as well as Stone Cold says that Pikachu and Sandshrew's effort deserves a toast... of milk, according to 4Kids, but I'm sure you know what he really toasts with. "Psyyyduck", then says Psyduck holding its head through all the loud cheering for Crystal's team.

In the ring, Cris-tal is laughing and probably hallucinating from the heat as Sandshrew and Pikachu wave to their adoring fans and Noctowl celebrating above them flapping unevenly. "Now it's onto the finals, you guys ready to win?", asks Crystal smiling down on her two pokemon. "Saashrew", and, "Pika-chuu", they both respond. "This is an outrage, we're trying to keep this match fair and they use their pokemon unethically to steal this one?", Jessie shouts to the referee. "Don't yell at me, you three were the ones causing all the distractions, and your pokemon was counted down fair and square. The decision stands!", shouts back the ref now outside the ring with TR. "Is that so?", wonders James as Wobbuffet comes out again to salute. "Those twerps can battle for bragging rights all they want. But these belts are going with a real team!", shouts Jessie who then pushes aside the timekeeper watching the belts and then she and James snatch the belts and try to run away with them catching the twerps attention. Misty and Justin gasp as Stone Cold shouts out, "Those no good bastards!", and then abandons the two threesome members as they try to ask him where he's going to no avail. "They're stealing the belts", shouts Crystal in the ring while Team Rocket turns to escape out the ring entrance. "Sorry twoip, but even dough we dropped one small bout, I'd say we still ran away from da competition", fires back Meowth as TR then laughs and their pokemon, Arbok, Weezing, Dunsparce, and good ol' Wobbuffet follow them. "Wooooooobbuuuhhffet", punctuates the trailing Wobbuffet who's able to get in a quick salute before the break.

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon?? (This seedy fellow maybe should be treated like a pokemon egg.... except it can actual attack you and kick your ass.)

It's Sunkern!! .................................. "Sunkeeerrn!"

"All our hard, dishonest work and now the belts are ours", says James kinda sounding like he's celebrating. "Get back here", says Crystal as her pokemon race out of the ring and she shows some cool agility by grabbing the top rope and then leaping over it and landing on the outside on her feet. "Almost there", says James as they approach the mouth of the entrance way. But just before they can reach it, they are blocked by Stephanie MacMahon as well as the boy they sabotaged, tied up, and hid in a closet so they could get into the tournament in the first place. Stephanie stands there and tells them, "Hold on! This is an official WWE sanction pokemon battle tournament! What do you think you're doing with all your foolishness that you're pulling. Are they the ones that kidnapped you?" The kid responds to Stephanie's question saying, "Yeah, they're the ones that tied me up and made me miss the tournament!" "Uh oh", states Meowth as Crystal declares that they should have known that Team Rocket would pull something like that as part of their wicked scheme and Pikachu yells out at TR in agreement with Cris-tal. "Hand over the belts right now and leave the premises immediately or you'll be sorry", shouts a furious Stephanie. "You're already sorry enough whining about your loser tournament and loser teams", Jessie shouts. Meowth then adds, "Dat's right, dat's why da belts are comin' wit us non-losers. We's just dat cool", stating it calmly before demanding to Ms. MacMahon, "Now outta da way, sista!"

Suddenly, there is a huge burst of glass that echoes all throughout the ring signaling the entrance theme for Stone Cold Steve Austin startling Crystal, Pikachu, Sandshrew, and TR. "What was that?", gasps James looking around as the music is playing and out walks the Texas Rattlesnake like he's on WWE Raw. "Wow, he got down there already?", utters Misty looking on from the stands as Justin adds that he didn't take long to get there from sitting with them. "Hey, isn't dat da baldie dat da twoips was wit buhfore?", wonders Meowth. But Stone Cold bluntly tells him, "Shut up!", and huge cheers follow from his fans. "Now answer me? Are you gonna return the belts and go are you going to ask for trouble?", says Stone Cold uttering the key word for TR to launch into their motto.

"A-haaah, I think the question really is are YOU prepared for trouble."
"And guess what Mr. Clean, you'd better know whether you're prepared to make it double"

But Stone Cold isn't in a good mood and again yells, "I said SHUT UP!!", in a cranky mood, "You're putting me in a very bad mood, and I'm ready to seriously make you pay." "Me too", says Rob Van Dam coming out from behind the curtain as Matt Hardy also agrees and adds that they have a lot of bad 'Mattitude'. "Wooooooobbuuuhh woooob", replies Wobbuffet to Matt's judgment of them. "Oh yeah", snaps back Meowth, "Well I got some payment for ya. Take a swipe at dis ya stone cold stalwart", and he goes to use fury swipes on Stone Cold Steve Austin. But Austin emphatically stops him kicking Meowth in the mid-section and then giving him the stone cold stunner, his signature wrestling maneuver. Everyone emphatically cheers Stone Cold's pokemon ass-whooping proving there are no member of PETP (People for the Ethical Treatment of Pokemon) in the audience while Meowth lied dazed on the ground muttering, "Owwww... I tink my head fell off." "Woooooooobb", observes Wobbuffet saluting and looking at the fallen Meowth.

"Ooch, that looks painful", remarks James looking at the result of the stunner as Jessie agrees. "Hey, don't worry. There's plenty of punishment to go around. Especially cuz you lied to me", says Rob still sounding mellow as he gets up on a table and then leaps at a petrified James with Dunsparce behind him next to the already fallen Arbok and Weezing. RVD then lands on the 'eeee-ing' James and Dunsparce with a five-star frog splash, his signature move, squashing them to the floor. Meanwhile, Matt Hardy is about to commit more sexual violence as he gets ready to use the twist of fate on Jessie. But the only non-wimpy member of TR isn't about to go down quietly as we hear her yell non-stop, "HEY YOU BIG DUMB APE, LET ME GO OUT OF YOUR STUPID HEADLOCK. I'LL SUE YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU GOT IF EITHER MY HAIR OR MY BODY GETS DAMAGED!" "AAAAAAHH", yells Matt Hardy signaling the beginning of his move, the twist of fate. But Jessie testily shouts to get off of her and she doesn't take any crap, hurling the much larger pro wrestler off of her and taking James's belt as he lay flat on the concrete.... anyone see a wrestling contract in her future?

"Now I'm the true tag team champion. AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!", laughs Jessie. But Crystal fixes that in a hurry having Noctowl tackle Jessie. It glides in evenly separating Jessie from the pokemon title belts which Crystal tells it to grab and does. Noctowl returns the belts to Crystal who gives them back to a thankful Stephanie MacMahon. "That was a nice attack, just as nice as Rob's 5 star frog splash", Stephanie tells Crystal. Crystal responds, "You're welcome Stephanie, now this calls for a 5 star finish. Pikachu, use thunder!!" "Pika... Piiiii-KAAAAHHH-CHUUUUUUUU!", shouts Pikachu frying every single KO'ed member of TR including patient ol' Wobbuffet which then leads to the baseless explosion sending TR out of the gym. "Oh well, at least we were a pretty good tag team", moans James. "Yeah, but it's still defenseless against an all out all-star assault", mumbles Jessie.

"Team Rocket's blasting off agaaaaaaaiiinn" and the Wobbuffet echoes faintly, "Wooooobb."

"Well that's that, kudos to everyone for takin' out the trash", says Stone Cold. Crystal then tells them that it's no big deal for them since they dispose of TR pretty much everyday. "Are your pokemon going to be okay for the finals?", wonders Stephanie and then Sandshrew and Pikachu pose and flex for them indicating that they'll be ready as Crystal tells her not to worry since they'll be ready in due time. "In that case we'll all be out very shortly to watch the match. Good luck, Crystal", Stephanie wishes. "I'm looking forward to seeing this, this match is gonna be a doozy", then utters Matt Hardy as Crystal thanks Ms. MacMahon again.

Later on, the ring looks ready for the two contending teams to duel again once more to determine the pokemon tag team champions of the world. Misty then notices that Psyduck is really into watching the battles and then figures that the WWE must get a lot of brain-dead viewers. Speaking of which, I'm inconclusive as to whether Ash Ketchum watches pro wrestling at all. Wouldn't be surprising though, especially with all the extra free time he's getting as a cripple. "Hey... anyone want some popcorn", asks Stone Cold Steve Austin sitting back down with the twerps and Justin and Psyduck enthusiastically raise their hands and ask for some. "Glad you made it back so you could see Crystal in the finals", says Misty cheerfully. "Hey, I wouldn't want to miss a pokemon battle this good for the world", replies Stone Cold as he then turns and sees Psyduck ducking his head into the bag of popcorn.

"Hey, Psyduck, you can't go into someone's bag of food like that without permission!", shouts Misty. "Aww don't worry, I just find that to be rather funny. What are you, a Psyduck or a Psyhog? or maybe even a Psysnorlax?", asks Stone Cold Steve Austin. Psyduck looks up from the popcorn bag and says, "Psyyyduck."
And Steve replies, "What?"
And Psyduck responds, "Psy?", as it sits in its seat looking up at Austin...... well you know what this would lead to.
"What?"
"Psyyy?"
"What?"
"Psyyy?"
"What?"
"Psyyy?"
"What?"
"Psyyy?"
"What? What? What?"
"Psy-y-yyyy", quacks a totally confused Psyduck before Justin tells them all that the finals are about to begin. In the ring, Pikachu and Sandshrew look poised to go up against Houndoom and Kingler as Fez says, "So you're Crystal Fletching, Stone Cold Steve Austin's personal invitee. I've seen your team battle and they've been very impressive." "Thank you, you're team has been great, too, she replies starting the ongoing compliment-a-thon in the Pokemon series. "Indeed, but now you're about to see firsthand exactly why my team is the returning pokemon tag team champions", Fez tells her. Crystal determinately responds, "Oh yeah? Well not before you see why Pikachu and Sandshrew got here in the first place." "We're ready whenever you are", teases Fez as Kingler adds, "Keekoo kookee!", before the bell rings. "I've never been so excited to see such a pokemon battle ever", says Stephanie to herself as she watches from her front row seat.

"Alright Sandshrew, then let's start this right. Use your toxic attack and poison Kingler", shouts Crystal. "Kingler, use protect!", shouts Fez and Kingler uses its claw that utilizes the pokemon's secret ability so it doesn't get poisoned. "Didn't work!", mutters Crystal as Fez has Kingler retaliate with crabhammer making her shout, "Sandshrew look out!" Kingler comes at Sandshrew with its huge claw trying to smash and bash it. But Sandshrew avoids it a couple times and when Fez pressures Kingler to turn up the heat making it swing its claw much faster. This makes Sandshrew jump and roll around to avoid the blows with even quicker dexterity than before as Crystal and Pikachu encourage Sandshrew to keep it up. "I know I've heard a lot about Houndoom, but that Kingler is just as tough", notices Justin. "It's like a water-fire 1-2 punch", notes Misty, "... a punch that Sandshrew can't hold off forever. Come on Sandshreeewww!"

"Hurry Sandshrew, make the tag!", shouts Crystal and Sandshrew makes the tag and gets out just before Kingler crushes its claw to the mat. "Pika!", shouts Pikachu who jumps into the ring as Justin smiles and says that now Crystal's team has the advantage. "I wouldn't be 100% certain about that, son", Stone Cold tells him. "Pikachu, use a thunderbolt!", commands Crystal and Pikachu charges up a jolt that Kingler dodges. And rather than face the type disadvantage, Fez has Kingler scramble to tag in Houndoom who would have the advantage over Pikachu. Crystal asserts that concern saying, "Oh no, now his team has the advantage now.... but not if I tag in Sandshrew again." She then shouts for Pikachu to tag in Sandshrew but Fez shouts, "Ain't gonna happen, sister! Houndoom, use faint attack!" "Dooooom", growls Houndoom who crouches down and then pounces on the retreating Pikachu, but the mystical dark powers of the faint attack makes Houndoom vanish and reappear before Pikachu and then Houndoom knocks it down to the mat.

"This is bad, now Crystal is stuck with a disadvantageous matchup and Pikachu is down", fears Misty. "Come on Pikachu, get up!", shouts Justin as the referee makes a one count before Pikachu recovers. "Whoa! That's some guts that the little Pikachu's got", says Rob Van Dam watching from just beside the entrance standing partially behind the seats with Matt Hardy over his shoulder watching as well. "This battle's far from over. Pikachu, use a thunderbolt!", commands Crystal while Fez has Houndoom cancel it out with an ember attack impressing the wrestlers that are catching a glimpse of the title bout. "Incredible, even Pikachu's electric attacks are being cancelled out by Houndoom", says Justin in one corner of the screen as Hardy says that Houndoom is a true heavyweight pokemon. "Totally", agrees RVD in another corner of the screen as Stone Cold gets his own part of the screen chiding Pikachu saying it can do better.

Pikachu is still affected from the latest Houndoom ember attack which pushed away its thunder try. "Houndoom, use another faint attack to push Pikachu to the limit", shouts Fez so Houndoom focuses again and disappears briefly waiting to reappear at a sudden notice. To prepare for this, Crystal tells Pikachu, "Alright Pikachu, stay down and when Houndoom reappears, get ready to move!" "Piiika-chuuu", replies Pikachu who crouches down low and quickly looks around before Crystal sees a glimpse of Houndoom coming from the right in a neutral corner. "It's coming from the right, use agility!", shouts Crystal and Pikachu moves out of the way just in time to avoid Houndoom who doesn't give up and tries repeatedly to gore little Pikachu, so Cris-tal tells Pikachu, "Keep it up, use the ropes if you have to!" Thus, Pikachu zips all around from side to side, corner to corner until it stops briefly in one corner facing a lunging Houndoom. "We got it cornered now, use your crunch attack!", shouts Fez making Justin and Misty gasp for Pikachu since it looks trapped. "Get up on the turnbuckle now!", shouts Crystal and Pikachu looks up and jumps just in time for everyone to witness Houndoom sink its teeth into the bottom turnbuckle pad.

"Drat! That little electric runt is faster than I thought!", says a frustrated Fez as Crystal tells Pikachu to get on Houndoom's back which it does once Houndoom pulls its numerous sharp teeth out of the turnbuckle. "Noooow! Use thunder!", shouts Crystal and Pikachu electrifies the ring and Houndoom much like The Rock claims sending Houndoom down to the mat. The twerps cheer as Stephanie PUN-ishes us with, "Now that's THE most electrifying pokemon I've ever seen in the ring", as she covers her head since she's so close to the attack. But just as the referee gets to about 2, Houndoom gets up with a vengeance and even spews out some fire to indicate how pissed off it is. "Whoa", says Misty as Justin theorizes that Pikachu's attack probably angered Houndoom more than it shocked Houndoom. "You can bet your bottom line on that. In the matches I've seen that Houndoom compete in, it's anger alone has sometimes intimidated pokemon into defeat", Stone Cold says making the two of them go, "Whoooaa!" Psyduck meanwhile, is entranced by all these drug and alcohol abusers seeing the pokemon battle displays and goes, "Psyyy-duuck."

"Now Houndoom, show it your real strength and fire blast it away!", shouts Fez. Immediately, Crystal replies telling Pikachu, "Pikachu, use your agility now!" Houndoom fires a fiery star symbol at Pikachu which comes much faster than anticipated and Pikachu just misses by disappearing just before the fire blast bombs the turnbuckle which is made of some attack resistant material so it stays unharmed. Pikachu runs for its life with its extra speed boost zipping on and off of the ropes until Houndoom hits Pikachu again with another faint attack and then Fez has Houndoom follow it up with a fire blast which bears down on a stumbling Pikachu. Crystal hopelessly shouts, "Pikachu, noooooo!", as the fire blast tags Pikachu knocking it down as Fez declares, "Bullseye!" "This is bad! Pikachu took a direct hit with Houndoom's most powerful attack", gasps Justin as Austin declares that it ain't gettin' up from that. "Yes Pikachu can... come on Pikachu, please get up!!", pleads Misty as the referee makes the count with all the twerps and wrestlers looking on.

1.... 2... at 2, Pikachu starts grumbling on the mat as Fez and Crystal look on with mucho anxiety. As the referees hand comes down for 3, Pikachu turns over and just makes it up just inches before the hand hits down for 3. "Pi... kah.. pi... kah", pants Pikachu just getting up as Crystal cheers, Misty sighs in relief, and Sandshrew shouts out for the tag. "Amazing! That was close but Pikachu still has to find a way to tag in Sandshrew, but it's totally exhausted!", points out Justin. "Houndoom, let's finish it off with another fire blast!", shouts Fez as Houndoom roars out ready to unleash another powerful stick figure shaped fire attack. But Crystal tells Pikachu it has to use agility once more and Pikachu uses its speed just enough to just avoid it again. Houndoom then tries to stop Pikachu with a crunch attack and tries to take a bite out of Team Crystal's championship hopes. "The ropes", Crystal thinks to herself and then she tells Pikachu, "Pikachu, quick attack! And get on the rope to do it!" Pikachu then walks the narrow middle rope and then launches itself into Houndoom shaking it up just enough for Crystal to get Pikachu to the corner to tag Sandshrew before Houndoom can recover and get it.

"Pikachu got the tag!", says Misty as Rob Van Dam compliments Pikachu about its fancy footwork. "Saaashrew", shouts Sandshrew ready to go as Crystal tells it to use sand-attack on Houndoom and Sandshrew blinds Houndoom's eyes with sand as it tries to get the sand out with its black paws. "Hurry Sandshrew, take down Houndoom while its immobilized!", shouts Crystal and Sandshrew makes a good impact on the dark doberman dog type pokemon. But Houndoom immediately gets up making the twerps take notice while Fez declares, "If you think a puny amount of blinding sand is going to stop Houndoom, you're kidding yourself. Houndoom, fire up this entire ring and make it an inferno!" "Oh no", says Justin as Crystal quickly tells Sandshrew to defend itself. Houndoom covers the entire ring in fire making Fez tell Crystal, "Let's see how Sandshrew deals with that." "Let's see", fires back Cris-tal and as the smoke clears, we notice Sandshrew curled up in its defense curl ball. "It wasn't phased!", shouts Fez as Sandshrew starts to roll in place making Fez warn his powerful fighter, "Get ready, it's gonna use rollout. Jump away."

Houndoom jumps and Crystal immediately replies, "Just what I wanted, now Sandshrew, get out of your defense curl and use sandstorm!" "Huh?!", shouts Fez as Houndoom barks in confusion while Sandshrew gets up and raises its arms causing a cyclone of sand to batter its opponent. Crystal declares that Houndoom has much more than a puny amount of sand to deal with now when Fez answers back, "Not for long! Houndoom, tag in Kingler." "Keekoo kekoo", cries Kingler as Crystal declares that Kingler is going to be just as impaired as Houndoom was in the sandstorm while the ring continues to swirl with heavy sand. "I beg to differ. Kingler, use mist!", replies Fez. "A mist attack?", wonders Justin making Misty explain that mist is an attack that negates any status changing effects and attack in a battle.... including Sandshrew's sandstorm. "Oh no, now Sandshrew can't use its sandstorm", declares Justin. The mist clears up the heavy sand revealing Sandshrew to be waiting in a neutral corner as Kingler sees him and Fez has him move in. "Use crabhammer, Kingler. And don't let him get away!", shouts Fez as Kingler moves right when Sandshrew tries to escape in that direction and then moves left to try and do the same thing. But as Kingler closes in on the seemingly cornered Sandshrew, Crystal says, "Unfortunately, Kingler's the one that won't be able to get away!" "WHAT?!", wonders Fez as Pikachu races over from Crystal's corner to close in on Kingler.

"Kingler, BEHIND YOU!", gasps Fez noticing Pikachu as Crystal calls for the electric rodent's thunderbolt which fries Kingler who can only watch the electric rodent zap it down to the mat. "How did that happen?", asks Fez incredulously as Stone Cold explains to the twerps that it was clever of Crystal to make a blind tag to Pikachu through the mist while Kingler was clearing up the sandstorm. "Sandshrew and Pikachu sure do know how to work together", says Justin while the referee counts Kingler on the mat while Fez pleas for it to get up to its hollow mulitple legs. 1... 2... as the twerps look on glued to the ring... but Kingler claws its way up just before three as the crowd awww's at the near fall. "Whoa, these fans are really into this battle... almost as much as they're into my battles", comments the cocky Matt Hardy. "What? Kingler got up?", wonders Crystal as Fez warns her never to underestimate the power of his pokemon and then he has Kingler high-tail it out of the ring and tag in Houndoom. So Crystal says, "I'm not going to lose the type advantage in the ring. Pikachu, tag Sandshrew in." "Houndoom and I aren't phased by your Sandshrew", retorts Fez as the adrenaline rush continues.

Cris-tal smiles and says more softly, "That won't be hard to fix", as her rare competitive instinct is trying to balance out with her more laid-back, hippie side. She then has Sandshrew use its rock slide attack sending rocks hurtling down towards Houndoom. "Houndoom, watch the rocks and dodge them", shouts Fez as Houndoom begins darting in between and around Sandshrew's rocks, even leaping onto and running on the top rope to avoid the last one. "Ahh... Houndoom avoided every one!", gasps Crystal as Fez makes Houndoom use another faint attack. When Houndoom reappears right above Sandshrew, Pikachu shouts and points up at it and Crystal orders, "It's right above you, look up and fire a sand attack!" Thus, Sandshrew fills Houndoom's mouth with sand cooling it off... or appearing so. "Whoa", reacts Stephanie MacMahon watching Houndoom get its mouth plastered with sand before Houndoom fires off a huge fire attack to get the sand out making her go, "WHOA!", as the fire almost reaches her and the spectators nearby.

The fire attack also brushes back Sandshrew who faces the heat curling up into a defense curl just in time before the flames cover him. "We've got 'em now, Houndoom! NOOOW, use your crunch attaaack!", shouts Fez and Houndoom leaps up to try and bite Sandshrew. "Sandshrew, watch out!", shouts Crystal but Sandshrew is having difficulty moving from just getting out of the defense curl and thus, Houndoom bites down on the ground rodent to everyone's concern and Sandshrew covers itself in pain before going down. "Fez knew that pokemon have more trouble dodging attacks when getting out of a defense curl", points out Justin. Misty complementally adds, "And he also figured that Sandshrew would curl into its defense curl when Houndoom used its ember attack." "And because of that, Crystal and Sandshrew are in one heck of a pickle", finishes Stone Cold Steve Austin as we see Psyduck sitting next to him munching on a pickle.

"Sandshrew!", calls out Crystal as the referee begins to count 1... 2... just before two, Crystal hurriedly tells Pikachu to thundershock Sandshrew to shock it to its feet. Pikachu's electric energy hits the fallen Sandshrew just before the referee counts down three making the referee stop counting out of shock and then Sandshrew reacts to the electric jumpstart getting up right after. "No way!", gasps Fez as Crystal cheers and then Sandshrew thanks Pikachu for the rare public boost of energy..... to be rewarded later with a private boost of energy. "That was a pretty good idea there", observes Austin as Justin agrees, "I'll say." "You can't keep relying on desperation moves to keep you going. This'll end it. Houndoom, use your fire blast", shouts Fez. So his Houndoom sends another star of fire at Sandshrew who is able to dodge it and then he uses rollout curling into his ball and beginning to roll swiftly at Houndoom. Houndoom dodges it once, twice after Sandshrew rebounds off the ropes. "Don't let Houndoom off the hook, keep using the ropes!", shouts Crystal as Sandshrew keeps coming three, four, five, six times off the ropes with its rollout, and on the seventh attempt, Sandshrew connects coming off the ropes after pinballing around the ring kept Houndoom moving and eventually wore it down so Sandshrew could finally hit it.

"Now finish it off with earthquake!", shouts Crystal and Sandshrew rocks the ring as the energy moves towards Houndoom. But Fez has Houndoom get on the turnbuckle like before to avoid the ground attack. Misty figures out that Houndoom's doing what it did during her match when it eliminated her and Wooper. "That's alright, Sandshrew. I have another idea, just tag in Pikachu", says Crystal and tag is made. "Switching pokemon won't make a difference, you're through. Houndoom, crunch attack!", shouts Fez as Houndoom leaps up to bite into Pikachu and Crystal has it counter with... its unbeatable return attack. So Pikachu starts glowing blue and then launches itself into the airborn Houndoom just as it's about to bite down on him and naturally, Houndoom goes down to the canvas to the concern of Fez and joy of Cris-tal. "What was that?", wonders Stone Cold as Justin tells him that it's Pikachu's most powerful attack, return, adding that this may just win it for Pikachu and Sandshrew as the referee counts with the audience shouting along and Crystal and co. looking in anxiously. 1... 2... but amazingly, Houndoom gets up from the most powerful attack after only 2 shocking the bejesus out of Crystal and Pikachu.

"Whoa... it's still fightin'. Obviously, they're intent on remaining champions", observes RVD. "You mean like you?", fires back Matt not too far away. "Heeey, take a chill pill bro", Rob responds to Matt's diss. "WHAT?! It still won't go down?!", gasps Crystal as Houndoom tries to shake off the pain, "Then we'll have to keep up on it with a team attack. Pikachu, tag back in Sandshrew." The injured Houndoom then tries to limp back to the corner to try and get Kingler back in, but Houndoom is in bad shape and is moving very slowly. Meanwhile, Sandshrew is already back in the ring and Crystal has him stop Houndoom with a take down attack so it can't reach Fez's corner. "Nooo!", says Fez as Sandshrew stays on the back of Houndoom holding him down while Pikachu uses a thunder attack burning out the exhausted satanic looking pokemon. "No Houndoom, try to get up", encourages Fez as the referee counts and fans follow more slowly as if time is slowing down.

1... Sandshrew and Pikachu watch Houndoom very very anxiously as their paws are mysteriously hidden behind each others backs. 2... Cris-tal watches on with her eyes bugged out and her drugs inside her working her over again while the other twerps and Stone Cold Steve Austin also watch on anxiously. And then finally..... 3... and the battle is over with Pikachu and Sandshrew winning, Crystal cheering and then getting in the ring to celebrate with the poke-duo, and the other hundreds in attendance also cheering thankful that it's finally over. "Here are your winners and the NEW WWE World Pokemon Tag Team Champions, Sandshrew and Pikachu, Team Crystal!!", declares the announcer. "You finally did it... and you two definitely deserved it!", says Crystal as Sandshrew and Pikachu receive their pint sized wrestling belts. "Saaanshrew shreeeewww. saaashrew!", celebrates Sandshrew holding up its belt while in Crystal's right arm. "Piii pikaahchu", adds Pikachu in Crystal's left arm as it tries to fit the belt around its ample waistline.

"They did it!", cheer Justin and Misty as Stone Cold states that he knew they would and Psyduck cries out trying to make itself visible as well. Accepting defeat, Fez returns his Houndoom and Kingler being very proud of the fight both of them put up and then gets in the ring to face Crystal. "Your pokemon did a terrific job. I'd like to be the first to congratulate you guys. You definitely earned your championship", Fez says being very mature. "Thank you, Fez. You and your team were a terrific opponent. It was an honor to battle you", she replies, he then nods, and they then shake hands before he leaves the ring. "Now those two look like they were made to be a team... not to mention champions", says Rob. "Just like yours truly...", says Matt Hardy. "I think you kinda mean like, Rob.... Van.... Dam", fires back RVD who then points to himself with his thumbs again.

"Here they are, this year's pokemon tag team champions. Sandshrew and Pikachu!", announces Stephanie MacMahon as the twerps, who are now all in the ring, cheer the two teammates and booty call answerers as they wave to everyone with their miniature belts around their shoulders. "Pikaah pikachuuu!", shouts Pikachu looking around at the admirers in the stands. "Saaashrew shrew", says Sandshrew as it looks to the cheering superstars on the outside as well as Fez, Houndoom, and Kingler all standing just outside the ring paying respect to their accomplishment. "Pika PIKAAAHHHHH!", waves Pikachu with both paws to its adoring fans as the cheering doesn't seem to change volumes or decline at all... must be some tape recorded cheers... just like at New Jersey Nets games before Jason Kidd. But at least the coupled pokemon get the recognition they deserve for their great chemistry together, so who gives a f*ck about how much crowd noise they're getting out of a high school gym.

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon?? (Slowly and painfully, this pokemon is taking slow steps to try and smile.... though it doesn't seem like it'll ever fully succeed.)

It's Weezing!! ................................ "Weezhing weezh!"

Later on once the crowds have left and finished enjoying the celebration, Pikachu and Sandshrew stare at each other's...... belts.... around their waists while the twerps, Stone Cold, Stephanie, Rob, and Matt remain in the ring. "Congratulations on winning Sandshrew and Pikachu. You did a great job training them together Crystal", says Stephanie as Sandshrew and Pikachu yell back happily at her praise. "Thank you, I couldn't be prouder of them myself", responds Crystal as Stone Cold says he hopes to see them back next year at their pokemon tag team tournament to defend their belts. "Saaashrew shrew", says Sandshrew as Crystal says they'll be sure to be there. "So now what's next for the champions?", asks Stone Cold as Misty realizes that they gotta get to the next gym. "Oh yeah that's right, does anybody know where the next nearest gym is?", asks Crystal. "Well, there is that gym on Cinnabar Island that I went to last time I visited there with Ash and Brock", remembers Misty as Justin remembers that gym as well.

"Alright, then I guess we're headed to Cinnabar Island. And on the way back, we could stop back home and see how my mom is doing", says Crystal as Pikachu and Sandshrew like that idea. "Sounds great, just be careful on the road", says Stephanie. "Don't worry Steph, they're tough! They can handle themselves out there", Austin tells her. "Piii pikachuuu!", says Pikachu flexing its paws to indicate its strength. "Alright... the path to badge #7 now begins", declares Crystal calmly yet assertively as the WWE-people wish them good luck. And thus, Pikachu and Sandshrew leave being titled the pokemon tag team champions. And why not? They are the best team out there.... what other teammates are so tough to beat yet so close to each other. NOBODY, that's who....

Except for maybe Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown.....