This is How the Story Goes...  Part 3
Author's note: You should hear ASH'S impersonations!
^_^    ...   >~<     ...   ^0^
:|        ...    :)    ...    :0


(Cracking up!!!  Man, I wish you could hear it how I'm imagining it!)



ASH'S STORY...
Author's note: Oh boy...


"*I* had just finished eating *MY* dinner.  *I* was happily sitting in *MY* house, *ME*
and *MY* friends and *MY* Mom.  *I* was very content.  *I* was seen to the world
as a kid, but not for long--no!  *I* was to soon become the Pokemon Master!  *I*
had so many fans just wanting to knock down *MY* door to see *ME*, Ash "The Great",
but it was time for *ME* to run *MY* errands for *MYSELF*, so *I*--"

"Wait a minute!  Why does everything have to be about YOU?" Misty asked.
"That's right, Ash, we were in there, too!" Brock and Mrs. Ketchum said.
"Yes, of course!  Didn't you hear when I said 'friends' and 'Mom'?"
"Yes, of course--when you practically CLAIMED us!" Misty shouted.
"Well, what was I supposed to say, 'Gary's friends' and 'Rudy's' Mom'?" Ash argued.
"Ash, I'm also saying that your story didn't even have a point!  You were just going to tell
whatever was in your diary, your ID card, and your trainer's liscense, your mind, and
your dreams and thoughts!  YOUR MOM WANTS TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!  We know
YOU already!" Misty shouted.
"All right, fine."
"And tell the truth."
"Do I ever lie?"
Misty cocked her eyebrow at him.  Ash rolled his eyes.

"ANYWAY, after *WE* all finished eating, I stood up.  Brock, this is where YOU are
proved wrong."

Ash: Hey guys, huh-ha, let's all go to the park and play!

(Author's note: That was Brock saying that in the background, mocking Ash.  See part
2)

"BROCK, DID I ASK YOU TO IMPERSONATE ME!?  I DIDN'T EVEN SAY THAT!  I *SAID*..."

Ash: ...Misty?  Brock?  Pikachu?  May you please take a walk to the park with me?  Only
if you want, though.  I won't force you, you're all my dearest friends.
Misty: NO YOU BONEHEAD!

"Then Misty hit me with her mallet.  Brock didn't listen 'cause he was too busy with
his head in a magazine filled with pictures of women in bikinis.  I wonder how he could
see them through the blur he made of them with his drool, though..."

Pikachu: Pikachu!

"Pikachu only chirped because he was eating apples and ketchup.  He said he had to
baby-sit Togepi 'cause Misty threatened to kill him if he didn't.  I would have stopped
her, but Pikachu didn't want me to get involved with the war because he totally hates
Misty 'cause one time, she tried her witchcraft on him--"
"CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!"
"AAAAAASSSSHHHH KETCHUUUUM!!!!!!"
*****BANG, BONG, --BOOM--*****
"VUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLPIXXX!!!!!!"  (Firespin is heard)

This happened all at once.  I mean AT THE SAME TIME.  Simultaneously.  In unison.
AT ONCE.  In--um...did I get that from somebody?

(Author's note: If you don't understand that:
Pikachu shocked Ash,
Mrs. Ketchum yelled his name in anger (oh mother dearest ^-^),
Misty hit him with three different heavy objects: her mallet, a gong, and a huge bomb,
and Brock made his Vulpix do Firespin on him)

Now, three much angered people and one furious pokemon were giving a murderous
and ominous glare to a pile of crisp.
"ASH KETCHUM REPEAT THAT!" Misty, Brock, Mrs. Ketchum, and Pikachu (in its own language)
all shouted at him.
"SORRY!  It was um...a joke," he said nervously.  He sweatdropped.  "Um...that's the end of
the story."
"Oh don't worry Ash!  You wouldn't have to be so chicken about being the focus of murder if
you just quit lying!" Misty said.
"Chicken??  LYING????  I'LL SHOW YOU!"
Ash stood up, almost proudly, "humph"ing as he brushed some (imaginary) dust off his clothes
and flexed his muscles.

Author's note: ...Which had no point.

"THE STORY GOES:  We went to the park one day, and Brock saw this girl.  Now, I gotta admit,
she WAS kind of cute.  He walked over to her, and in no more than a second, she slapped him.
Brock started crying those famous fake tears of his, and started following her.  I'd bet that she
felt pretty perverted about him following her AND walking behind her..."

"Just WHAT do you know about that?" Mrs. Ketchum asked.  "You don't remember all of the manners
I've TRIED and TRIED to teach you..."
"Mom, all I can say is...enough when you're following Brock around," Ash said.  "But back to the
story..."

"He followed her across the street and beyond.  Me, Misty, and Pikachu got worried, and followed
him.  We ended up WAY at the MALL.  Misty beamed in delight, and the first store she went to was
Dream.  The first thing she looked at was Kotex Tampons and Douches..."

"ASH KETCHUM!  AND I'D BETTER NOT HAVE TO SAY ASH KETCHUM one more time!" Mrs. Ketchum shouted.
"Quit being so rude!  I'll bet that's why you're here!"
"Sorry, Mom...  But the reason I'm here is because..."

"Well, then Misty walked in the food court that was full of everything when she went, but empty
of everything, especially Dairy QueenÔ's ice cream BlizzardsÔ and the shakes and malts and creations
from Orange JuliusÔ.  But her body was the same as I remember it as when I first met her!"

"Looking at her body, huh Ash?" Brock snickered, nudging Ash's side with his elbow.
Ash blushed.  "Um.........uhhhhhhhhhhhh...ANYWAY..."

"Brock went to the breeder's section to check out some gear.  AS USUAL, Misty stuck with me.
No surprise.  I guess she wanted to point out the bike section if I were to ever pass it, and be
right there as SOON as I saw it..."

Misty made no comment.

"...Pikachu was on my shoulder.  Misty grabbed my arm as if to CUT OFF MY CIRCULATION and
YANKED me across the floor so hard that I could have sworn my arm would fall off any minute.
She yanked me, of course, to DEB's."

"Ash, what happened to the beautiful girl that you were following?" asked Mrs. Ketchum.
"Misty's the one who saw the mall.  We dissed that girl a long time ago."
"WHAT??" Brock yelled.  "Then you're telling a LIE!  The girl was in the story!  You're telling
it wrong!"
"She wasn't in there, Brock!  You just put her in there and KEPT her because you were going
to make Mom think that she was a girl that was crazy about you and started following YOU!" Ash
shouted.  "ANYWAY..."

"Anyway, when we got into DEB, Misty and Pikachu decided that they didn't like my wardrobe,
and picked me out some really expensive tuxedo."
Ash: I'm supposed to wear that--everyday?
Misty: No, just on special occasion.
Pikachu: Pika pika.

"What did Pikachu mean by that anyway?" Mrs. Ketchum asked.
"Well...you guys have to be REALLY nice to me in order for me to tell you..."
Everyone gave him that same murderous glare.  Ash sweatdropped.
"Um...hehe...he just agreed and said, 'Yeah'."
"Is that right, Pikachu?" Mrs. Ketchum asked.  Pikachu was about to shake its head, but when
everyone looked away from Ash, Ash pulled out a picture of a ketchup bottle with apples
surrounding it, shook his head, and ripped the paper in half, crumbling it up and throwing it
on the ground.  Pikachu gulped, and immediately nodded.  Ash sighed in relief.

"So ANYWAY FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME, Misty looked at the tux."

Misty: You can wear a nice, blue shirt and some nice black pants without that silly jacket.  Also
have some red and black shoes to go with your hat and pants.  As for the shirt...um...you can
put in some blue...uh...contacts...
Brock: Don't kid yourself, Misty, you know you love his brown eyes.
Misty: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!  BROCK, YOU STARTLED ME!

"Then Misty hopped on my head as if Brock was a bug.  Brock laughed."

"WHAT?????" Misty shouted.  "First of all, I do NOT love his brown eyes!  Second of all, I...I
wasn't...um...I wasn't, you know, THAT scared..."
"Wha-?  Misty, you know you DO LOVE my beautiful brown eyes," Ash said proudly.
"What?  Yeah right!  As if!  What-EVER!" Misty yelled.
"Heh, don't kid yourself, like Brock had said.  Everyone loves the eyes of Ash Ketchum!"
"Still YEAH RIGHT!  Even if SOMEONE fortunately did love them, once they knew the OWNER
of them they wouldn't love them anymore!"
"Ooh...so you're saying you LOVED my brown eyes before you met me, when you first saw
me?" Ash smirked.
"NO!" Misty yelled.  "But what about YOU, Ash?  That SNORLAX and my body being just the same
no matter what I eat, what about that???"

"Um--as I was saying (author's note: I think he's pretty much tired of saying 'anyway' ^_^), Pikachu
went to pick out the sneakers.  Brock got me the black pants.  Misty got the blue shirt.  They were
just showing it to me; we hadn't really payed for it.  I stepped back to show how shocked I was of
how clean and cute the outfit looked at first glance.  Unfortunately, Pikachu was on the ground
behind me with the sneakers that I totally forgot all about, and I stepped on his tail.  He got pretty
mad, and we all ran out of the mall to avoid him from shocking us: double misfortune--we didn't
realize we had the clothes in our hands!  We were going to return it, but that's when we ran into
the cops, and they didn't believe us!  And here we are now, where I'm telling you the story which
goes as *I* had just finished eating *MY* dinner.  *I* was happily sitting in *MY* house, *ME*
and *MY* friends and *MY* Mom.  *I* was--"
"YOU'RE TELLING IT ALL OVER AGAIN!" everyone shouted.
"Oh...hehe...sorry," Ash said, scratching the back of his head.  "Well, at least I know that you
were listening."
"We HAD to listen to correct you of your lies!" Misty shouted.  "Mrs. Ketchum, how often do I lie?"
"I never heard you lie, dear, especially not as much as Ash and Brock," Mrs. Ketchum said.
"Okay!  This is how the REAL story goes..."

TO BE CONTINUED...