Chaper 4- Fist of the Mist Vs. Fake Tit of Brit

Goku and the Z warriors are flying across a bootleg planet Earth, all wearing German clothes, liederhausen to be exact, with the little funny hats with feathers.  All of a sudden, Heineken bottles are flying alongside each of them and the Japanese theme music of Dragonball Z cues up in the background.

“(Japanese accent) DORAGON-BORU ZETO!!!  (German accent) UNT HEINEKEN!!!  (Both) NUMBER 1!!!!!”

“Grrrr...Hi, Goku here!!!  When I’m not saving whatever freakin’ planet the retarded writers of my show make up, or when Krillin and Master Roshi feel like a keg party, hell and when the Oktoberfest month arrives, me an’ the Z warriors just like to kick back, relax, dance and smack our legs silly while enjoying a cool refreshing chug of Heineken!!!”
The Z warriors land at the Kame House, while Master Roshi forcibly pushes his head out of a pair of breasts, “And Heineken not only restores vital brain cells, but increases your sexual potency!!!  You hear that, Florida!!!”

All of the Z warriors line up and smack their legs in the Oktoberfest leg-smacking dance, though Vegeta, as always, looked pissed.
“Damn you, Kakarott!!!  You may be a better warrior, but I can smack my legs better than all of you!!!”
Goku notices something, “Hey you guys, where’s Gohan?!”
Krillin said, “He went to Hollywood.  Said something about getting a better deal in America!”

Back in Hollywood...

“Trojans come in several sizes: puny, medium, large, magnum, African-American, SuperSaiyan, and SUPER-DUPER SAIYAN LEVEL5!!!”
Videl joins Gohan, “It’s perfect for us!!!  The Dragonball Z producers have enough characters as it is!”
“TROJAN!!!  CONTRACEPTING FOR AMERICA’S FUTURE!!!”

And now, back to the Palletstreet Boys!!!...Finally...

Misty summons all her might, while Britney is pressing a strange button on the side of her chest labeled “inflate”.  Her boobs are getting bigger and bigger until the air pressure is at the max.  Ash is recovering right before them, and shakes his head, while his friends and Gary giggle at the huge nipple mark on his forehead.
“Ok, Britney, prepare to catch the ultimate beatdown, GOODYEAR!!!” Misty growls.
“You’re the one who’s gonna get their ass kicked, TWIGGY!!!” Britney shot back.
“I AM NOT SCRAWNY!!!” Misty lunged forward.
“MY TITS AREN’T FAKE!!!” Britney said as she jumped towards her adversary.
The two exchange blows as Joe opens the roof with a press of the button and out of nowhere, a helicopter arrives.
“Come along my pupils, you have a concert in Thailand scheduled in 5 hours!!!  Drag Ash to the chopper!!!”
Brock, Tracey, Richie, and Gary each grabbed a limb and hoisted him onto the chopper.
Ash moaned, “Uhh....Misty...I wanna a hickey....”
The helicopter leaves as Britney is holding Misty in a sleeper hold, her back getting hammered by the steely implants.  Misty quickly elbows Britney and judo slams her on the ground.  But the bouncy Britney quickly bounces back up and roundhouses Misty in the gut.  She falls back clutching her chest, trying to catch a second wind.
Britney blabs, “YOU SHOULDN’T TALK ABOUT FAKE TITS, MISTY!!!  IT’S NOT LIKE YOURS ARE REAL TOO!!!  HAAA!!!!”
“Oh really.  They’re quite real.  And I’m only 14.  Imagine the bazooms I’ll have 5 years from now...heh heh...”
“IMPOSSIBLE!!!  14!!!  YOU’RE LYING!!!  AREN’T YOU???!!!”
Misty, the smart girl that she is, sees a chance to play Britney's brain (which isn't hard, by the way), “Hah!!!  My lifestyle is quite different from yours!  I hang around a goofy boy, have no parents and a dime to my name!!!  You think I can afford implants???!!!  Unlike you, I don’t have hic parents to buy me designer tits and pimp me around to a bunch of sleazy music execs and porn directors...”
“GGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Misty smirked and devilishly winked, “And, unlike you, I have a deep relationship with a guy that'll definitely blossom into love one day.  What’s the furthest you ever got in terms of a relationship?  Justin Timberlake?!  Hah!!!  Ash may be scruffy-haired and semi-pubescent, but at least he’s not some talentless, lobotomized homo with a bleached Brillo-pad wig of a hairstyle, who hangs around with 4 guys who were once groupies of RuPaul...”
“YOU'RE GONNA DIE, WATER-BITCH!!!!!!  AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!” Britney screeched running towards Misty with her nails glaring.
“...I don’t think so....”
In a heartbeat of a split-second, Misty pulled out a pin from her suspender and held it out just as Britney was about to do her ultimate mammary attack, the Boob-Sama Tai Chi.  The only sound heard was...

POP!  FWSSSSS....”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh.........” Britney said as the force of the deflating boobie thrust her through the roof where Joe and the Palletstreet Boys escaped earlier.  She flew into the air, landing somewhere closeby.
“Guess she’s blasting off again.  Hah, I made a funny!”  Misty said as she struck a cool pose and got back in the Puffmobile to find Jigglypuff and regroup to find Ash.

Speaking of Jigglypuff...

“DAMN IT...THEES JUS’ ISN’T FUN WITHOUT MEESTY.  I’VE BLOWN UP N’SYNC’S HOUSE, 98 DEGREE’S HOUSE, THE BACKSTREET BOYS’ HOUSE, THOUGH I DON’T THINK THEY WERE HOME.  WHO ELSE???...OHH YEAH!!!  THOSE ANNOYING LEETLE BOYS WHO DID THAT GAP COMMERCIAL.  GOD, I LUVVED BLOWEENG UP DAT HOUSE!!!  BUT NOW I GOT ONLY ONE EXPLOSIVE ARROW LEFT AND NO MORE BOYBANDS TO KEEL!!!
Suddenly, Jigglypuff hears someone land closeby.
“HEY...ISN’T DAT...BREETNEY SPEERS?  WELL...SHE DID CONSORT WITH ZE...HOW YOU SAY...DUSTIN LUMBERJACK???!!!  AHH...WHAT THE HELL...”

Strangely enough, some strange voice yelled out, “FINISH HER!!!”  For some strange reason, the sky darkened, though Jigglypuff and Britney were the only ones visible to the human eye.  Dreadful music played in the background (A/N those who’ve played Mortal Kombat, you know what I’m talking about...).  Britney, attempting to recover, quickly took notice of Jigglypuff aiming something at her.
“OH NO!!!  AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!”
Jigglypuff let its last arrow fly.  FWOOOOOSH!!!!

KAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM....drip...drip...drip, drip...drip.

Jigglpuff struck a pose, as the weird voice in the distance said something yet again, “Jigglypuff wins...FATALITY!!! drip, drip...”  All that remained of Britney was two deflated, rubbery-looking thingies.  Misty finally arrived to where Jigglypuff was on the hillside.
“Jigglypuff, what just happened?  The sky darkened as I was driving over here...”
“OOHH....NOTHEENG!!! heh...heh.  WHAT HAPPENED TO ZE ASH!!!”
“They took him away to do a concert.  I couldn’t stop them!!!  They brainwashed him!!!”
“WE HAVE TO FIND ZEM!!!  BUT ZE ONLY WAY YOU CAN STOP ZEM  NOW...IS...IS...”
“What, Jigglypuff?!”
“ZE ONLY WAY YOU CAN COUNTERACT ZE BRAINWASH OF A BOYBAND...IS WITH A GIRLBAND!!!  WE HAVE TO FIND FOUR GIRLS NOW BEFORE EET’S TOO LATE!!!”
“Got it!!! Let’s go!!!” Misty said as she wondered who she was going to enroll in her girlband army.
They sped off in the Puffmoblile, leaving dust on the remains of perhaps the greatest pop star of our time...not.