~*~

~*~

Sometimes I wonder if he realises.

I wonder if he knows just how much his playful insults hurt me.

I wonder if they are just playful.

"What do you want now Ash?" I snapped at him. He looked taken aback.

"And usually you can't keep your big mouth shut." I half regretted walloping him with the mallet this time. It was getting old. I watched as Ash dragged himself away, out of range and started talking to Brock.

Probably moaning about me.

God I hate Ash so much.

What am I saying? No I don't.

I don't wanna think about Ash anymore, it's too confusing.

I tilted my head and watched Pikachu playing with Togepi. They get along so well.

"They get along so well don't they?" I moved my head to the sound of Ash's voice. He was standing there like a rabbit caught in headlights, but looked ready to bolt at the first sign of my mallet. He looked so sweet. I turned my head away.

"What do you want Ash," I asked, trying to keep my voice sounding bored. "Usually after I whack you, you're too scared to come near me for a few hours."

"Scared! Of-" Ash stopped in his tracks, and mentally seemed to switch gears. "Um, I'm worried about you Myst; you-you haven't been yourself all week."

"Oh well here's a switch - Ash Ketchum caring about something other than Pokémon for a change!" I said sarcastically, not even hearing the words in my head before they came out of my mouth. I regretted them instantly. Ash looked really hurt, but just for a second, before his temper took over.

How I wish I could have at least apologised.

But no.

I scowled at him, grabbed Togepi away from Pikachu and swung my bag up onto my back. With a curt nod goodbye to Brock, standing a little way off looking half amused, half bemused, and one last lingering look, disguised as a scowl at Ash, I stalked right out of the campsite.

And never looked back.

~*~

Why do I keep going in two directions at once?

~*~

"Fine! Go!" was my witty retort to Misty's disappearing back, as I angrily blinked back visible discomfort.

"Er, I think she's already gone," said Brock, coming up behind me and patting me comfortingly on the shoulder.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I said defensively.

"Oh come on; you and Misty have spent every day together for the past 5 years, and you know how Misty hates being on her own. She'll be back once she's let off some steam." Brock paused and looked up at the night's sky. "You should have waited till morning to piss her off though Ash, I don't like to think of her alone at night in a bug-filled forest. It looks like it's gonna rain too," he mused.

I didn't like to think of that either.

"Well, I don't care how lonely, scared OR wet she gets, she picked the fight and she stalked off. And I say we leave camp at daybreak and walk real fast so she can't catch up and gets lost!" I said viciously, not meaning a word of it truthfully.

I didn't want to see Brock's reaction, so I stomped over to the nearby cave and crawled into my sleeping bag. A few seconds later, my hat, shirt, gloves and jeans flew out of the top. "I'm getting some sleep," I said firmly, as I burrowed down into the warmth. I watched as Brock rolled out his sleeping bag and burrowed into it too. He immediately fell asleep. I yawned, I was really tired too.

"G'night Brock," I started out of habit, even though I knew he was asleep. "Night Pikachu, goodnight Misty - see ya in the mo…" I had tilted my head to the right side of me, where Misty always slept and was confronted with an empty space. "Oh yeah…" I remembered.

"Chuu…pi pi pi," cries Pikachu sadly, as it crawled into my sleeping bag out of the cold. The air was really heavy; Brock was right, it was going to rain. I couldn't even look up at the stars for comfort, because of the rain-clouds. Usually, when I couldn't get to sleep, I'd wake Misty up and she'd keep me company.

I cradled Pikachu close and cried softly into my pillow; the sound of the drops blending in with the sound of rain starting outside.

"At least the rain will keep the bugs away," I murmured to no one in particular. Togepi was curled up inside my knapsack out of the cold. I had been lucky enough to be under the shelter of a huge canopy of trees when the torrential rain had started. It'd be unlucky if it turned into a lightning storm, I'd be turned into a fried mess in no time, as I was leaning against the foot of a large tree with my sleeping bag draped over my legs.

But I couldn't go back to the camp.

No way.

Not only would my pride not let me apologise, but I had looked Ash right in the face when he told me to leave. He didn't want me there.

I've travelled on my own before, I can do it again.

And besides, it's just Ash. What's so special about travelling with him?

I was so confused I couldn't tell if the drops seeming down my face where raindrops or tears.

~*~

~*~

That girl is so stubborn.

The morning after she left, I apologised to Brock about being such a jerk about it, and we followed her trail through the woods, getting Pikachu to track her scent. It was hard though, because she was walking the way we had already come, so Pikachu couldn't tell if it was her retracing her footsteps in the direction of Cerulean, or if she had gone off somewhere completely different.

I really hope we find her.

It's strange…Misty's always been there, throughout my whole journey, literally since day one. Even Brock didn't join up with us for about a month, and he left us for about a year. Misty's never left me. I guess I under appreciate her just always…being there for me.

Yesterday, Brock challenged me to a Trainer battle to cheer me up. No offence to Brock or anything, but he's much better at breeding Pokémon than he is at battling them. Usually, he's a pushover. Not only did the match get me thinking about the time I battled Misty for the CascadeBadge, but the unthinkable happened.

I lost to BROCK.

Did you hear me? BROCK!!

I don't know what was wrong with me; I just wasn't thinking clearly. I think it's got something to do with Misty not being here - I mean I've never been in a battle without her.

I just hope she comes back before my next Gym battle.

~*~

Where to go - where to go…

Cerulean's out. My sisters would just get all nosy about why I came back before seeing Ash through the Johto League. They think I have a thing for him.

I miss him so much, and it hasn't even been a week yet. I miss the way he annoyingly wakes me up at night to keep him company; I miss waking him up in the morning by kicking at his sleeping bag; I miss the way he eats; I…

Well, now I'm just depressing myself.

The past is past.

And Ashton Ketchum from the town of Pallet is definitely in my past.

Hey - maybe I should go to Pallet for a while? I've always liked it there. It's where my mother was born.

And maybe there I can feel close to Ash without having to see him again.

So I grabbed Togepi and headed off towards Pallet. Togepi hasn't been itself lately. I think it misses Pikachu…

~*~

Well, here I am. Misty's crying again.

Seems like I've done nothing but cry recently. But this time I couldn't help it. I just burst into tears when I wandered into that clearing.

Rhapsody Falls.

Typical, I'm trying to forget Ash and I wander to the riverside where I first met him.

Bloody typical.

James halted, and the Meowth balloon crashed to the ground. "There's something wrong with this picture Jess," he remarked.

"Looks like his little girlfriend's run out on him," Jesse said, blowing on her nails and looking bored.

"That's none of your business!" I yelled, frustrated. "And besides, Misty ISN'T my girlfriend!"

"She's a girl right? And your friend?" James asked. Woah, déjà vu. Why do people think they're so clever when

they say that? I didn't even dignify it with an answer.

James had long since scrambled out of the balloon, and, complete with now dry nails, Jesse gracefully swooped down to his side. There then occurred a hurried plotting session in a huddle. I rolled my eyes.

"Listen here twerp," began Jesse. "We're on holiday, so we won't be trying to take your electric rat - today at least." Suddenly, her eyes got all sparkly. "Today we wanna be good guys, and 'denounce the evils of love'!"

"What ARE they by the way?" asked Brock.

"I have absolutely no idea," said Jesse. "But doesn't it sound good?" She started doing her little "a-ha" laugh, and Brock made a face. "Anyway, we've got the means," she pointed at the Meowth balloon, "to help you find Mrs Twerp. All at a low-low price of…"

She went to whisper something in Brock's ear, but at the same time grabbed Pikachu. I shook my head and sighed. How could she think I couldn't see her?

Anyway, a little Thundershock got rid of them pretty quickly. I wish they could have offered to find Misty for real.

~*~

This feels so weird.

And is totally not helping me forget about Ash.

I had barely stepped foot in Pallet when Mrs. Ketchum saw me, and brought me home. She fussed over the fact that I had been on my own, and looked shocked when I told her I hadn't eaten more than a few chocolate bars in 5 days. She cooked me so much I never want to look at food ever again.

She's so nice to me. God, I miss my mum. But Mrs. Ketchum told me that I could call her "mum" if I wanted to - and I suppose I'll think about it. It took her about half an hour to get the whole story out of me. And I started crying again. It was all my fault.

So now here I am - trying to get to sleep on Ash's bed. Weird. Still, it's comforting that to my left there's a snapshot of Ash grinning. That helps me.

~*~

Something weird happened today.

Either I'm suffering from Misty withdrawal and beginning to see her everywhere, or she's staying in my house with my mother.

I rang my mum earlier, and she seemed distracted the whole time, and kept looking behind her. I could hear noises upstairs, like another person was in the bathroom. At first I thought my mum had a boyfriend around, but then I saw someone walk across the kitchen in the background. It was a girl, dressed in a towel, with orange, shoulder length hair. I only saw it for a second, but I'm pretty sure it was Misty. I'd know those legs anywhere!

After that though, my mum made up this excuse about having to go out and told me to ring her later, so I didn't get the chance to ask her.

So now I'm off home. If it was Misty, I have to get her to talk to me again. Brock says I'm being selfish, and the only reason I want her back is to be my good luck charm during battles, but that's not it.

Big, meaningful phrase for me, but the place where Misty used to sleep isn't the only place where there's an empty space.

I miss her. So, unbelievably much.

~*~

I found something today, in Ash's room. I didn't mean to go rooting through his personal stuff, but I found this box in the back of his cupboard. I was sitting in there, still missing him like crazy. Man, that boy has a lot of jeans. It was comforting for me in there, because, oh I dunno, I guess it smelt like him or something.

I knocked over this box, and a picture slid out of it. It was a picture of me and Ash dancing when we were 10. I remember when it was taken; we had only known each other for a couple of months, and we'd been celebrating the end of summer at Maiden's Peak. So we got all dressed up, and I asked Ash to dance. Then this guy came around with a big camera, taking official pictures. We paid him to take one and have it framed. I was quite annoyed when the frame came back with the words "Young Love" on it though.

The picture was out of its frame now. I guess it must have broke in Ash's bag or something. Ash had thoughtfully, if not exactly neatly, written on the back: Maiden's Peak, August 1997. Me and Misty. Young Love.

I grinned, and opened the lid of the box fully to put the picture back in. The box was crammed with silly little memorabilia, like Ash's drawing of himself as a Pokémon Master he had drawn when he was 5.

I felt guilty again for that fated outburst. Why should Ash care about me more than Pokémon Training? He's wanted to be the Master his whole life, and to him I'm probably the annoying redhead who won't go away.

~*~

Brock and I had a stroll down memory lane today. We'll be in Pallet tomorrow, so we talked about our journeys together.

I remembered all the fights and squabbles Misty and I ever had; from the bike thing to our last one, when she stormed off. God, she must think I hate her. Like I think she's only an annoying redhead who won't go away and leave me alone.

I know I never felt about her like that, I've always liked her. True, our personalities clash almost all the time, but she's my best friend. And I have to persuade her to come back on the journey with me. Because she's my best friend.

Oh, who am I kidding? But what do I do now? This is so weird…

So what, I knock on my own door, and when Misty answers it, hug her and go,

Yeah - more likely we'll end up fighting again.

~*~

I had a long talk with Mrs. Ketchum today. I really needed to talk to somebody - let's face it, Togepi's hardly a great conversationalist is it? Oh, it started innocently enough;

After she had stopped her 'oooh-ing' and 'ahhh-ing', and her 'I knew it!'s, she asked me how I knew.

I don't know. Sounds weird huh?

I love being around him, and I miss him when he's not around. Then there are the butterflies when he touches me, and the feeling inside. Oh yeah - can't ignore the feeling.

So I ended up explaining to Ash's mother, that ever since I met him, there's been this feeling inside that he belongs to me, and no one else. Amazingly, she understood that.

Sounded like love to her too.

There were other reasons.

There was the reason that I know I love him. That's a good one.

Now what do I do?

~*~

~*~

The doorbell sounded, jolting Misty out of her thoughts.

"Misty dear, could you get that please?" called Mrs. Ketchum. Misty pulled herself up from the sofa, and wandered into the hall, passing a mirror as she went. She was wearing a pair of Ash's pyjamas, hadn't brushed her hair all day and had bags under her eyes. Mrs. Ketchum said she was lovesick. Misty didn't care, she just wanted to crawl back under Ash's duvet cover and wait to die. Sighing, she shuffled to the door.

Outside on the porch, Ash fidgeted nervously. He had seen his mother peer at him from an upstairs window, and at that moment was grinning at him from above, making no move to answer the door. But Ash could hear the latch being flicked back, which meant that Misty must be opening it. She seemed to be doing it painfully slow. Maybe because Ash couldn't wait to see her, and was very nervous about facing her again.

Finally, the door swung open, and Misty almost jumped back in surprise. There was Ash, standing on the porch grinning at her shyly.

"What are you doing here?" she squealed, unable to keep her voice without emotion.

"Last time I checked, this was my house," said Ash, grinning even wider. "And last time I checked, it's against the rules for you to leave."

"Um, cos. I mean, er, you're my friend, and er, I kinda had a speech, but um…" Ash stopped and looked at her for inspiration. "Waitasec, are you wearing my clothes? Erm, that's not the point…You've gotta come back Misty." Misty looked at him sadly.

"Look, I don't mean to upset you all the time, I'll stop, I promise…" Misty glared at him irritated. She knew she had to do or say something.

"Not in that way idiot," she said, tearfully. Losing the last of her resolve she grabbed Ash by the shoulders and pushed his lips to hers. She began to cry harder as she kissed him, but quickly released him, horrified at what she'd allowed herself to do. Ash just stood there, unable to move with shock.

"Oh God, you idiot," Misty sobbed, as she spun around and slammed the front door on Ash. She collapsed on the Welcome mat in the hall in floods of tears.

Meanwhile, Ash had just snapped out of it, and in wonder, brought his fingers up to his lips. They were still warm from the kiss. Stepping closer to the door, he could hear Misty crying on the other side.

"Misty," he began, his voice cracking.

"Go away Ash - I'm sorry" Misty sobbed from within.

"This wasn't supposed to happen," he continued.

"No, it wasn't supposed to happen this way. I had it all sorted out. You were gonna answer the door, and I was gonna hug ya and tell you that I love you." Misty stopped crying.

"You-you- what?" she sniffled.

"Yep," Ash laughed. "Probably more than ever now. Can we try it again Misty?" There was some fumbling and the door swung open to reveal a tearstained Misty.

Ash silently held out his arms and took Misty into them. "See? This is how it was supposed to happen. I love you Misty. Better?" Misty made a little sound into Ash's jacket, which she had her face buried in. Gently, Ash lifted her chin from his chest and kissed her very softly. They both grinned. "I'd try and kiss you better, but my mum's still watching us." Ash hugged her forcefully again.

~*~