Ash’s Many Woes

By Hayvel

Part zero

Bonpgh@hotmail.com

Category: Other

Disclaimer: Yes, I do own pokemon. I own everything about it. (Hahaha…. They believed I ACTUALLY owned pokemon…. What suckers) GOTCHA!! I don’t actually own pokemon, Nintendo, Game Freak, and those other guys do.

**(means I am talking in the story)**

Author’s note: “OK, basically, when this story starts, Ash and Misty have been going out for a couple of months now, just so you know. Ash has gotten all the badges in Hoenn. Also, the ages don’t really matter, since we all know they’re always going to look exactly the same anyway, and…” “Hey, author dude, get on with the story already!” Person is attacked by security. “Okay, anyway I was gonna say, let’s get this fanfic started already!!”

Ash’s Many Woes

Ash is sitting on Misty’s bed, looking depressed, when Misty comes along, sees Ash, and sits next to him.

“Ash, what’s wrong?” Misty asked concerned.

“Well it’s about our relationship, Misty.”

“Why, what’s wrong?”

“Well, you still hit me on the head with that mallet all the time, and still insult me all the time, and, well, it hurts a lot, physically and mentally. I..I just can’t take it anymore.” Ash said very sadly. Then, Ash pulls out a gun.

“Ash, what are you doing??!!”

“Goodbye, Misty.” Ash says sadly, and shoots himself. **(Sad, isn‘t it? Wondering why I didn‘t put it under AAMRN? Just wait…)**

“AAAAASSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, aw oh well.” Then, Misty starts looking happy, and says “I know! I’ll go and marry Rudy!” and walks off. Then, Ash’s ghost comes, saying “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Ghost Ash then pulls out a ghost gun, and shoots himself again. After that, his ghost’s ghost appears, and he goes following after Misty.

**(When Ash’s ghost speaks from now on, it will be signified by #(…)#, okay?)**

At Rudy’s island

“Oh, hi Misty, what are you doing here?” Rudy asks.

“Well, remember when you asked me to marry you? Well, I’ve decided to accept.”

#(NOOOOOOOOO!!!!)# And Ash’s ghost’s ghost shoots himself again.

“Oh, Misty, that’s wonderful!!!” Rudy said extremely happy. Then Misty and Rudy start kissing.

#(NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!)# And Ash’s ghost’s ghost’s ghost shoots himself again.

Once they finish kissing Rudy says “Misty, its getting late, and all our guest rooms are being remodeled, so, do you wanna sleep with me?”

“OH, Of course, I’d love to!” Misty said happily.

#(NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)# and the ghost shoots himself again.

In Rudy’s room

“Hey, Misty would you like to make out?” Rudy asked.

“Why of course I would!” Misty said very happily.

#(NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)# And Ash’s ghost **(Getting too confused saying ghost’s ghost’s ghost’s)** shoots himself again.

After a couple hours of this, Rudy asks “ Hey Misty, you want to “do it”??” Rudy asked very anxiously.

#(Please say no, please say no, please say no)#

“ Of course!”

#(NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)# Ash screamed so loud, he broke the ghost of every glass object on earth, and kept shooting himself until they were done.

“Oh Rudy, that was much better than anything Ash ever did.” Misty said exhausted.

#(NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!)# and shoots himself again.

 

A couple months later, Rudy and Misty are married, and Ash has killed himself so many times, that wherever he’s been, it’s an ocean of dead ghost bodies. Now, they’re finally holding Ash’s funeral, since his corpse is starting to stink. Currently, people are going up to his body, and “grieving”

First up, is Misty. “Well, Ash, good riddance. The only thing I have to thank you for is taking me to Orange Islands, so I couldmeet Rudy. (Misty’s head then gets big, anime style.) AND YOU STILL OWE ME A BIKE ASH KETCHEM!!! YOU NEVER PAID ME BACK!!!! Grrrrrrr……..” #(NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!)# and then he shot himself again

Then, Brock is up. “Good riddance. If you had never been born, then I wouldn’t have met Misty, and she wouldn’t have pulled me away from every girl I ever met. Then, when Misty left, I managed to get over my ‘drool over girl’ mode, and then they saw how I really am, then they liked me. So, good riddance. (punches Ash) Come on, girls.” and every girl Brock had gone gaga over followed after him **(Okay, then 1, 2, 3... WHOA!!! That’s like 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 officer Jennies and nurse Joys!!!!!!!!!!!!)**

#(NOOOO!)# and shoots self again.

Next up, Team Rocket

“Prepare for Trouble!”

“Make it double!”

#(OH GOD NO! ANYTHING BUT THE MOTTO!)# shoots self

“To fill Ash’s soul with devastation!”

“To unite all Ash haters within our nation!”

“To denounce Ash’s truth and love!”

“To extend Ash’s pain to the stars above!”

“Jessie!”

“James!”

“Team Rocket will no longer blast off again!”

“And since the “hero’s” dead we won’t need to say the motto again!” After the last part, everyone cheers. Also, instead of saying good riddance, they just beat up Ash’s corpse, then say “Oh, and thanks for your pokemon (pulls out Ash’s pokeballs) Ok, pikachu, you have 30 seconds to grieve.” Then they let Pikachu out of it’s cage.

“Pi ka cha, chu chu chu pi, chaaaa, piii” Pikachu said sadly, while crying. Then, it shocks Ash, not to try to wake him up like in The First Movie, but simply out of anger.

#(NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!)# and shoots self.

Later, after every one Ash had met has said good riddance, it’s May’s turn **(May from advanced, not Gary’s sister)**

“Oh, Ash, why did you have to die?” She said sadly, while crying. “Ash, I never got the chance to tell you this, but I…I…love you.”

#(NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!)# and shoots self

“I, I’ve tried to move on, but I just can’t. I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT YOU!!!” She then pulls out a gun and kills herself, and no one seems to care. Then, her ghost comes, and sees Ash.

“Ash!!! I don’t believe it!!!” She then grabs Ash, and starts kissing him.

“MMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!” Ash tries to scream, but his voice is muffled. Then, May starts taking off her own and Ash’s clothes.

“ Then again, this might not be so bad.” Ash said smiling for the first time since he died.

The End

Well, what do you think? Like it? Hate it? Well, it’s my first fanfic, so don’t criticize me TOO much. Still though, pretty good for something I thought up while sitting on the can, huh? Reviews, please! OW!” Hayvel (me) is hit on the head with a mallet. **(Guess who?)** “What the heck are you thinking about, pairing me up with Rudy, and Ash with May!” Misty said EXTREMELY angrily. Then my head gets big anime style “HEY, IT’S JUST A FANFIC! YOU’RE NOT REALLY GONNA END UP WITH RUDY! YOU MUST BE DENSE AS ASH IS!!!!” Then, I pull out my own mallet, and smash her head. “There, now that that’s problem is taken care of good bye! Reviews please!”