Win or Lose

You finally catch sight of his face in the large crowd of people. Almost a stranger, yet something draws you to him; tells you that he is the same one that you knew before.

It has been so long, but you would never forget those chestnut eyes. You smile slightly as they watch you, taking in your presence; widened with surprise at the person you’ve become.

“H-hi!” he stutters, stepping forward towards you.

You open your mouth to speak only to find that no words will come. Gulping like a fish out of water, you realize that nothing you could ever say could express your ultimate joy at finally seeing him again.

He turns around. His messy black hair is held snugly under his red and white baseball cap. The same cap that he wore when he first began his journey; the one he was wearing when you first laid your cerulean eyes on him.

You can only manage an awkward smile.

He takes this as an invitation to speak; “You kept your promise,”

“You thought I wouldn’t?” you almost snap, the words escaping your mouth before you even have a chance to think. You blush at your outburst, embarrassed for yelling at the one person you’ve been waiting to see.

“I thought you might have forgotten,” he says honestly, though deeper, his voice is still graced with innocence. His gaze leaves your face and moves to his feet. “It’s been a long time,”

You nod; it has been many years since you last saw each other, but before that fateful day when you parted; when you were forced to leave his side, you had promised him that no matter what you would be there to witness his championship battle; the final step on his journey to becoming a Pokemon Master.

He lifts his gaze, meeting yours.

You see for the first time how much he’s changed. His hair is longer, and if possible, messier than it was in his childhood days. He has matured; the innocent babyishness completely disappeared from his handsome face. He is much taller, too, you note as you realize that you now have to look up to see into his eyes. He looks back at you, as if he is studying you in the same way as you are so carefully examining him.

He looks so different; yet perfectly the same.

For the first time in your life, you are completely lost for words. You have been practicing what you would say at this moment for four years, learning the words that you must tell him before you lose him for good. You have finally come to that moment of truth, but your mind has let you down. All rational thoughts have left your head as if his presence has consumed you fully, as if you are incapable of thought while he is watching you so intently.

“Calling Ash Ketchum to the Championship Arena,” an echoing voice sounds over the loudspeaker above you.

You have spent four years waiting for this day. It is finally time; your last chance.

A swell of emotion rises in your stomach and your heart is beating faster than it ever has before. Ignoring the feelings of self doubt and fear that run rampant across your mind, you open your mouth and take the biggest risk you’ve ever dared to take.

“I think I… love you,” you hear the words escape your mouth, though you have no idea how you summoned the courage to tell him after all these years. Is it that everything is clearer now; simpler because you have spent the last four years waiting for this moment? Or is it because he has changed so much, and it is much easier to tell a stranger that you care than it is to admit those same words to your very best friend?

There is an awkward silence in which you feel your cheeks turn red. Your face burns with embarrassment as you realize what you’ve done. You look into his eyes, trying to understand what he’s thinking; to see some emotion on his face. His features reveal nothing however, and soon you feel your heart beat louder as a feeling of dread moves through you.

You open your mouth, but before you can take back what you have said, a sad smile forms on his lips and he opens his mouth to speak, silencing your uneasy mind.

“I know,” he whispers, yet you hear it as if he’s shouting in your ear. You look up in confusion, but he offers no more explanation.

“You know…?” you start, your voice edged with disbelief. This was not the reaction you were expecting, and it is much less than the declaration of love that, impossible as it seems, you were hoping for.

“I’ve known for a long time, Misty,” he says softly. How he has the courage to look into your eyes, you’ll never know. He was always brave; you recall as you let your eyes wander to the baseball cap now clutched tightly in his sweaty hands.

“Ever since you left, I realized that we had something special. I’m sorry that I realized too late…”

You wonder what he’s trying to say, your earlier declaration hanging thickly in the air.

“I’m sorry I could never tell you, but there was no way for us to be together. You had to return to the Gym,” he pauses for a moment, thinking about what he’s going to say next before speaking again. “I couldn’t give up my journey…”

“And I could never ask you to,” you say softly as a cool breeze rips through your orange hair. Your voice is strangely controlled and you are surprised that you can speak at all due to the huge lump forming in your throat. How could you be so stupid? At least now you finally understand, and to your disbelief a small smile edges its way onto your lips.

He nods as if he has been pondering this understanding for the last four years. You realize that as long as you are tied to the Gym and as long as he continues his journey, and you know he’ll never stop, you will never be together. It pains you to finally understand that everything you have been hoping for for the last eight years will amount to nothing. But even though it hurts now, you can feel the tiniest weight lifting off your shoulders.

Tears burn in your eyes as he gives you another sad smile. At least you know that once upon a time, he loved you too.

His name is called over the loudspeaker again and with a final nod he turns around and heads toward the battle that you have travelled halfway across the world to see.

“Good luck,” you whisper, though you know he will not need it.

You watch him fight with all the qualities of a champion. The courage in the way he believes in his Pokemon, the bravery in his eyes as he faces every attack, the strength in his heart that will never let him give up, and love; love for his Pokemon, but not for you.

As he battles before you, images of the times you spent together flash through your mind.

You remember watching him face Erika in the Celadon Gym. You were angry at him that day, but you couldn’t help smiling proudly as he fought for the Rainbow Badge and passage into the Pokemon League. That day he showed you how determined he really was.

You recall the way his eyes burned as he shot an evil glare at Rudy, the handsome Gym Leader who had asked you to stay with him in the Orange Islands. That single act of envy was enough for you. That day he showed you that he cared.

He was distraught when he lost at the Indigo League after all his hard work. You tried to comfort him, to tell him that it wasn’t over. He was devastated, but he finally agreed with you. That day he showed you that he would never give up.

And finally you recall the end of your journey together, when you both went your separate ways. Saying goodbye was the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do. That day he showed you that he was strong enough to let you go.

And now he is showing you that he truly is everything you knew he could be.

It is about an hour later that your best friend is declared the Champion of the Pokemon League.

“You did it,” You whisper as you feel a surge of pride rush through you. You know that you have helped him to achieve his lifelong dream, and all you had to do was give up yours.

You look at the person before you, no longer a child, but a capable, eighteen year old, Pokemon Master, holding the Champion’s trophy proudly above his head.

And through your tears, you smile.

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Thanks for reading :) Reviews are very welcome! ^_^
--Jirachi The Legend