Part Two

      "Misty, wake up."

      I blinked my eyes open wearily, squinting in the bright morning sunlight. Yawning, I sat up to the blurry sight of Brock waiting impatiently by the side of my bed. Had I really slept through the whole afternoon and night? I paused a moment to continue gazing intently out the window. Yes, I guess so.

      "Misty," Brock repeated. "Get up. Ash wants to go on a little walk with you and me."

      "This early in the morning?" I groaned. "What an idiot." Yet I still got up from the bed, stretching, and straightened my hair out in the mirror. But I saw something in my eyes... an emotion. I paused for a moment and felt my heart leap to my throat. Yesterday. A clear image of that hurt look in Ash's eyes was still swarming through my mind. I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. No, Ash wasn't the idiot. I was.

      "Misty, are you okay?" Brock asked.

      I whirled around. I had completely forgotten Brock was still there. "Yea, I'm fine." I answered, smiling wearily. "Just a little tired."

      Brock cast me one last worried glance before walking out of the room and quietly shutting the door behind him. I sighed. If I wanted to get away from that guilty feeling inside my heart, I'd have to apologize to Ash. Today. Today, during the walk. My heart raced. I wasn't sure if I could do it. Especially since Brock was going to be listening to the whole thing.

      Trying to ignore these worries, I put on my boots and zipped up my coal-black leather coat and then trudged my way downstairs where Ash and Brock were waiting for me impatiently. I looked into Ash's eyes to see if the same hurt look that had been haunting me was still there. But all I could make out was happiness. I want to shout out in glee, to fling my arms around him, but I didn't. I couldn't. At least this would make the apology easier. But as I met Ash's gaze, I hastily turned to look in a different direction.

      "Glad you're here, Misty. Lets all go outside now." Ash said, smiling. He looked down as something small and yellow nudged his leg. His Pikachu. Of course. He laughed. "You're going to stay here while we go on the walk Pikachu, remember?" Ash reminded the electric mouse. Pikachu gave him one last stare before running off. Then all three of us stepped through the front door, out into the bitter cold outside world.

      Though just like everywhere else there wasn't much snow left, what was left of it was a pearl-white color here. An image of the blackened snow surrounding the main stores raced through my mind, making my heart sink. I'd have to continue my search for a present for Ash today. Now Christmas was only two days away. I breathed in the fresh morning air.

      "So, why did you want to go on this walk this morning?" I asked slowly, carelessly kicking a near-by clump of snow. Perhaps he wanted to talk to me about something? Something important? My heart leapt to my throat. Maybe I wouldn't have to apologize to him at all.

      "Oh, you know. Just wanted to talk with my two buddies for a little bit outside before all the rest of the snow melts." Ash answered, smiling.

      Stupid me. Stupid Misty. Of course he didn't want to talk to me about something important. He wouldn't have brought Brock along if he did want to talk. I stared at the ground.

      Wait a second... buddies? I raised my head to look into his eyes. Was that what he thought of me? Just another one of his little friends? I felt a familiar anger once again surge through my body. I tried my best not to let my gaze become a glare. I can't snap at him... no, not now. Not when I still had to apologize to him, not when that depressed hurt look was still in my mind. Besides, you can't blame him for calling me his buddy. I mean, that's better than nothing, right? He couldn't think of me in any other way. And he never will, either. 'Just face it, Misty.'

      That's when I felt something dripping cold sting my cheek. I stood there, gawking at Ash, and rose my hand to touch my cheek. Snow. I looked at Ash's gloves. Snowflakes were stuck here and there between the loose red threads. I gritted my teeth while Ash just continued to stand there with a wide grin on his face.

      "Why you... you..." I said. I didn't care that I wore no gloves or mittens, I didn't care that the snow made my fingers numb. I didn't care about anything at that moment, only that I felt myself reach down, grab a chunk of snow a chuck it at Ash, who ducked just in time.

      "Haha! You missed!" He shouted, continuing to grin. But his eyes filled up with a sudden coldness as a snowball hit him on the back. We both turned to face Brock. I was shocked. These years Brock usually didn't get into snowball fights. Yet there he was, standing there with the same dumb grin Ash had before etched on his face. But the pause didn't last long. There we were, two seventeen-year-olds and one twenty-four-year-old acting like little kids, having a snowball fight. Having the time of our lives. Stupid, I know. But sometimes it feels good just to let those worries drift away from your mind and replace them with the simple joys you had as a child.

      Worries. That's when I remembered the apology I had planned to give Ash during the walk. Oh well. Ash seemed to be having a great time, and so was I. Perhaps this moment that we're having together right now makes up for when I snapped at him before. A sudden thought drifted through my head, though. 'But does this make up for when you heard a hint of disappointment in Ash's voice before?' A voice taunted in my mind. I thought it over, gazing at Ash's happy grinning face.

      Yes, yes it does.

      I had paused for too long. A clump of snow hit me smack dab in the middle of my face, causing me to scream and stubble over into some snow behind me. I just laid there with my arms outstretched and my eyes closed, listening to the Ash and Brock's laughter. After a few seconds of breathing in the brisk cold air, my eyes flashed open to reveal the sight of the blinding sun. My face was emotionless and my eyes gazed at nothing. Brock stopped laughing, sensing something was wrong. Oh how right he was.

      "This is just like six years ago." I whispered softly. Ash grew silent, staring out into space. Brock just stood there, gazing at both of us. Of course. What else could he do? He wasn't there. But Ash was. Of course he was. That's why he remembered. That's why both of us would always remember that one simple moment six years ago.

      My laughter echoed through the cold brisk morning air as I continuing running through the snow-covered streets, stumbling, trying not to fall. Ash was just right behind me, him too laughing. I could just imagine the big grin etched on his face. I could even almost feel his hot breath on the back of my neck. But then it was gone. I turned around to face Ash, who had paused to kneel down near the snow in the grass. I couldn't see his eyes. Good. I was now far ahead of him.

      "Of course, Misty. Things will change. I promise."

      Now here we were, six years later.

      Nothing ever did end up changing.

      But I guess I didn't help, either. There were plenty of secrets I was hiding from Ash. Like that fact that I hadn't bought him a single Christmas present yet even though Christmas was only two days away. And also the fact that I liked him, no, loved him. But of course I couldn't tell him that. Not right now, not when I knew he didn't think of me in that way. No, he just thought of me as his buddy. That was another thing that hadn't changed in the six years that had gone by. I was still simply Ash's buddy, nothing more, nothing less. We both broke a promise we made together. I guess I deserved it, though. Maybe, just maybe.

      I took handful of snow, my hands numb, and threw it against my face, wincing. If I started crying, I didn't want anyone to notice, especially Ash. I wouldn't let myself be seen crying, because I was Misty. I was tough. But just then I realized it doesn't matter how tough you are. Sadness is still the hardest emotion to hide, and it would always stay that way. Always.

      Through the corner of my eye I could see Ash staring out into space in silence. I wondered if he was feeling the same sadness as I was. Hoped he was, yet at the same time, I hoped he wasn't. I didn't want him to go through all the pain I had been going through these past days. But I still wanted to let him know he had made a promise, but broke it. Made it shatter into a million tiny little pieces of shimmering glass.

      Brock cleared his throat, interrupting the deadly silence. "Er, why don't we walk back to your house, Ash?" Brock suggested, glancing at me. "I'm getting a little cold."

      "Yea, sure. Whatever." Ash muttered, now staring at the ground. His voice shook when he spoke. Perhaps he really was feeling the same sadness I was feeling.

      During the walk back to the house, Brock did all the talking. Ash and I just simply nodded time to time, not speaking, not looking at anything except for the damp ground beneath our feet. I didn't even bother to kick clumps of snow on our way there. I wanted to say something, anything, but was afraid my voice would shake too much and give my feelings I was trying to hide away. I now had to apologize to Ash for two things. One was for snapping at him yesterday. The other was for breaking one simple promise we made six years ago. But it was too late to apologize to him now. If I tried, I was afraid I'd burst out sobbing. So of course I didn't. Of course.

      Brock took a deep breath. "Well, we're here guys." He announced. I looked up, surprised to see Ash's house looming above us. I hadn't even noticed it before since I had been staring at the ground the whole time. Ash looked slightly surprised too. The three of us were greeted by Ash's mom as we stepped through the doorway. But Ash and Brock were the only ones that kicked off their boots.

      "Hey, I'm going to go out shopping, okay?" I said. "I don't know how long I'll be gone." Great, just great. My voice shook as I spoke, just as I feared it would.

      Brock tilted his head. "You've been out shopping a lot lately." He replied. "Are you sure you want to go right now?"

      I nodded, staring at the ground. Then I whirled around to face the outside world. "Well then, bye." I said softly. I quickly closed the door and then sighed in relief. Finally, I had time to be alone with myself.

      Ash hadn't said anything at all when I was saying goodbye. He didn't even glance at me.

      That's when I realized I wouldn't be alone on this trip. I hadn't been alone for the whole month. Hundreds of worries about Ash were constantly swarming through my mind, drowning my heart. No, I was never alone. There were always those worries wherever I went. I couldn't get away from them, I never will. Not until Christmas is over.

      "Misty, you are such an idiot. An idiot!" I hissed under my breath at myself. What a fool I was to think the worries about getting Ash a Christmas present on time were the only worries I had. Of course I had more. Like about the broken promises from the past, and even the present. And most of all, what Ash thought of me. I love him. But what does he think of me? Well, I was just his buddy. That's all. I'm just Misty.

      After walking awhile, I just stood there, staring at the stores that stood before me. I sighed and then leaned against a light pole. Perhaps I should just give up. Perhaps I shouldn't just give up on getting Ash a Christmas present, but I should also give up on getting Ash. But then again maybe not. I had been traveling with him for seven whole years. First he wasn't that good of a pokemon trainer. Now look at him. A regular pokemon master. He's come a long way, and so have I. Both pokemon wise and friendship wise.

      That's when a group of carolers came along singing Christmas carols. They wore thick heavy coats of green and red and happy smiles were etched on all of their faces.

"Deck the halls with bounds of holly,
Falalalala,lala,la,la!
Tis the season to be jolly,
Falalalala,lala,la,la!..."

      I watched them walk on through the town street, continuing to sing. Their voices seemed to echo through the air. I sighed. Yea, like I was really going to feel jolly during this Christmas season.

      Then they started. The tears, I mean. My tears. To whom else could they belong to?

      I cried, and cried, and cried.