Part Three

      Morning air. I continued to sit there, tilting the mug just far enough so I could sip the hot chocolate swishing inside it and let it's warm milky feeling run down the back of my throat. I sighed and set the mug back down on the table, gazing out the window. All the rest of the snow had finally melted. Looks like we wouldn't be having a white Christmas at all. Christmas. I had woken up early this morning, bright morning sunlight shining into the guest room. That was when I had suddenly realized with a mix of shock and horror that Christmas is tomorrow. It was just two days ago that I had told myself it would come down to this. But of course I had ignored these worries. Of course.

      The sound of Brock's cheerful voice awoke me from my thoughts. "Oh, hi Misty. What are you doing awake?" He asked. "You've slept in for the past couple of days."

      I slowly turned my head to the left to face him. "I woke up early to shop." I answered softly. "My shopping trip yesterday was a failure." Yea, just like all my other shopping trips. Brock just continued to stand there, gazing at me. He must have noticed the mixture of guilt and sadness in my voice. Great, just great.

      Brock stepped closer to me. "Misty, ever since that walk we went on with Ash yesterday, you've seemed... depressed." He said. I paused for a moment. Should I tell him? Should I tell him everything, including my feelings for Ash? No. Of course not. It would just make everything worse.

      "I'm not depressed, Brock. I'm really not. I feel fine." I said, turning away. That's when an image of me turning away from Ash two days ago raced through my mind. It had made him think I was lying. Except this time I really was lying. How could I not feel depressed when there was still a broken promise from six years ago, waiting to be fixed?

      Brock sighed. Had he perhaps wanted me to finally admit something? "Fine then." He said. "But you know that if you have anything you want to talk about, you can talk about it with-

      He paused for a moment, letting silence flood the air. I turned my head just enough to look into his eyes. Brock appeared to be deep in thought, gazing out the window before him.

      "...With Ash." He finished slowly. I gawked at him. Did he suspect my feelings? I felt my heart leap to my throat. Was it really that obvious? If it was, surely Ash could tell too. I felt myself quickly rise up from the kitchen table with the mug of hot chocolate still in my hand. Hot chocolate spilled onto the floor as a huge thump sounded through the kitchen. But I ignored all of this, continuing to gawk at Brock. Brock hastily stepped back in surprise.

      "Oh, I'm sorry Brock! I've just... well, I'm going to go upstairs." I said quickly. On the way to the hall I dumped the rest of my hot chocolate in the sink and set my mug down on the counter. The quick and unsteady thumps of my footsteps on the stairs seemed to shake the whole house. My mind was racing. I hardly felt myself finally reach the top of the stairs and frantically reach out to open the door to the guest room, only to halt to a stop at the sound of Ash's door opening. I sighed and let my arms rest at my side. I couldn't go away now.

      "Misty, what's the matter?" Ash asked softly. I continued staring intently at him, considering the question. 'What's the matter?' A lot of things were the matter right now. One of them was Brock. I couldn't let him tell Ash about my feelings. If someone was going to tell him, it had to be me. Then perhaps I should've told him right then and there that I loved him. But of course I didn't. Instead I backed up the worry about Brock knowing my feelings for Ash.

      "You are the matter!" I answered, letting the anger surge through my veins. I didn't want Ash to believe Brock if Brock ever did tell him about me. The moment that same hurt feeling from two days ago swarmed into Ash's eyes, I should've stopped and apologized to him for everything. But no, I just had to continue. "You made a promise to me a long time ago that things would change. Now here we are, six years later, and nothing, nothing, has changed at all!" I continued, glaring at him, trying to keep myself from screaming my lungs out. "I'm just your buddy, that's all! Nothing more!" I hissed. "Oh, or maybe I'm less now, huh? Now that I've been shouting at you like this? I'm less now, right?"

      There was a deadly silence. Then Ash spoke. "No, Misty. You're not less." He replied in a small voice. My heart sank in disappointment. Perhaps, if he became angry just like how I was now, it wouldn't matter if I got him a Christmas present or not. Then that would solve all of my troubles.

      "I'm not?" I asked in a soft whisper. Ash nodded.

      The door to Dellila's room opened. "I heard voices out in the hall and came to see what was wrong." I she said, concern filling up her eyes. Ash and I glanced at each other and then turned to face Ash's mom.

      Ash took a deep breath. "Everything's fine, mom. Misty and I were just having a little chat."

      A little chat. Yea right. And no, everything wasn't fine. It wasn't even close to being fine.

      A wide grin formed on Dellila's face. "Well, that's good. We wouldn't want to be having any arguments the day before Christmas, now would we?" She said cheerfully.

      My heart sank once more. "No, we wouldn't. Not on the day before Christmas." I muttered.

      "Well then, let's all go downstairs, shall we?" Dellila said as she turned around to walk down the stairs. Ash and I slowly followed, not daring to look at each other. Downstairs we found Brock sipping hot chocolate at the kitchen table. At the sound of the three of us coming downstairs he set his mug down and stood up.

      "Hi Ash and Mrs. Ketchum." Brock said, smiling. He turned to face me. "Misty, are you feeling better?" He asked. There was silence as Ash and his mom turned to stare at me.

      "You mean you're sick?!" Dellila cried out.

      I sighed. "No, Mrs. Ketchum. I'm fine, really. I was never sick." I said, starring at the ground. Through the corner of my eyes I could see Brock staring intently at me. Great, just great. I hoped my voice didn't sound too shaky.

      Small quick sounds were heard coming from the hall as Ash's Pikachu ran towards us and then hopped into my arms. I smiled as the electric mouse nuzzled my blood-red sweater. I wanted to sigh in relief. I had been saved by Ash's Pikachu.

      "Looks like Pikachu is excited for Christmas too, huh?" I said. I hoped that they wouldn't notice the quick subject change.

      "Yea." Ash replied, grinning. Of course. When the topic switched to his Pikachu, he never noticed anything else. He said he didn't think of me less than a buddy, but he loves his Pikachu more than he does me. I know it. Maybe he likes Brock just as much, but not me.

      Not stupid idiotic Misty.

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      I continued absent-mindedly poking the small pieces of ham on my plate with my fork, my head resting on my arm. I sighed for what seemed like the millionth time today and gazed out at the night sky. Through the corner of my eye I could see Brock, Pikachu, Ash, and Ash's mom waiting impatiently.

      Dellila cleared her throat. "Well Misty, it seems like you're done eating. Shall we read the book?" She asked carefully. I let the fork fall down to the plate with a small clatter, and then slowly raised my head to face her.

      "Yea, I guess." I answered in a mutter. We all got up from the table. Ash once told me this was a tradition that the Ketchum family had. On Christmas Eve they'd all eat ham, and then when they were all done eating they'd read "The Night Before Christmas" together on the couch. And when Ash still believed in Santa Claus they'd set out milk and cookies on the kitchen table.

      Ash took his place on the far left corner of the couch. I just stood there for a moment, staring intently at him, and then chose to sit on the far right corner of the couch. Dellila and Brock took the middle, Brock on my side, and finally Pikachu hoped into Ash's lap and curled up into a tight yellow ball. Dellila opened the book and then began.

      "Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse." Dellila recited carefully. At this, Pikachu's ears perked up and the pokemon quickly raised its head. We all laughed. That is, except for me. I just continued staring at the wall ahead of me. Throughout the whole story I paid no attention to Dellila's words, only the harsh worries swarming through my mind. Christmas is tomorrow. Why, why did it have to be like this?

      Before I knew what was happening, Dellila quietly shut the book. "Well, it's time to go to bed now." She said, smiling softly. "Christmas is tomorrow."

      "Shouldn't we set out cookies and milk for me?" Brock grinned. "Er, I mean, Santa Claus?"

      Dellila laughed. "Ash and Misty are too old for Santa Claus, you already know that. They're seventeen." She replied, putting her arm around her son. Ash just smiled. Was he perhaps feeling depressed, just like me? What was I supposed to do when I would be forced to open his Christmas presents tomorrow?

      "Well then, I guess I'll just have to get cookies and milk myself." Brock said. "I'll get ready for bed in a minute." He told Ash and I. We just nodded and slowly walked upstairs, ignoring each other.

      I thought of nothing except for the day ahead as I changed into my pajamas and brushed my teeth. As I flipped the light switch down with a small click and climbed into bed, that's when the thought suddenly occurred to me.

      I have to get Ash a Christmas present no matter what.

      "Merry Christmas Eve." I whispered softly at the sky as I set my alarm clock for 1:00am.