Part Five

      As I trudged up yet another hill on the path to Viridian City, a familiar feeling came over me. I couldn't quite place what it was, though. The sky above me was a brilliant bright blue, and small clouds slowly drifted towards the gleaming sun. To gaze at it all, I had to shield my eyes with my hand. As my heart fluttered with the sudden feeling of strong excitement, I sank to into the grass on my knees, Pikachu pausing beside me.

      "I haven't felt like this in a long time." I explained to him. The weight of depression sinking my heart was already starting to get lighter. Slowly but surely, my heart was starting to lift.

      I stood back up and started to descend the grassy hill. At the sight of Liza's place emerging in the distance, I felt the sudden urge to run, but resisted it. Letting my eyes drop down to my hands, I then noticed that they were trembling. Trembling with excitement, though? Or fear? Sighing, I took out my diary from my pocket and sank down into the grass once more.

Dear Diary,

      I can't believe it. Somewhere hidden, deep down through all that sadness and depression, I've still managed to find excitement. As I found myself coming closer and closer to my destination, Liza's place, I started wondering why this excitement felt so familiar. After all that had happened with Ash, (It really hurts to write that name...) I didn't think I'd be feeling this emotion any time soon. But now I've realized where it came from. Back during the days where Ash, Brock, and I would travel together, I felt this emotion of excitement all the time. That's because it's the excitement of pure freedom.

      During that argument I had with Ash, all that anger was stored up in my mind, not my heart. Because of this, I've learned to trust my heart more than my mind. My mind worried about the earthquakes. So that happened. And now my heart is begging for the fantasy of freedom. I'll achieve that goal. Yes, it's a goal, not a fantasy. And Pikachu will be here with me the whole time. This future experience needs to be shared with someone real, not just a diary.

      Continuing my way towards Liza's place, I was surprised at how quickly I reached my destination. Just like last time, various types of bird pokemon stared out at me from her yard with innocent eyes. I just stood there, digging my feet into the ground, suddenly unsure of what to do. Liza was nowhere in sight.

      "Hey!" A familiar cheerful voice called out. I watched as Liza emerged from the front door. "I remember you!" She quickly ran towards me.

      I smiled softly, surprised at how happy I was to see her. "Hey." I replied simply.

      Pausing to stand in front of me, I watched as her eyes scanned my appearance. Finished, she frowned. I began to feel nervous then, hoping she wouldn't suspect the sadness weighing me down. "Would you like to come inside for a drink of lemonade or something?" Liza offered. "You look thirsty."

      I look thirsty? I knew a different word was at the tip of her tongue, be she had managed not to say it. I wished I had that type of control over my words, too. "Sure." I replied, continuing to smile softly. It almost hurt my mouth.

      As we both stepped inside her house, I took a good look around. Though a bit messy, her house had a warm, cozy feeling to it that made my heart flutter even more. I slumped down into a seat at her table, watching as she rushed off to the refrigerator to retrieve refreshments.

      "So what brings you here?" Liza asked me casually. She then glanced over my shoulder at Pikachu. "And why are you keeping your Pikachu out of its pokeball?"

      This time my smile was grim. "He's not my Pikachu. Well, he wasn't originally." I chose to ignore the original question for now, not even sure of the answer myself.

      "Oh." She replied simply, her voice soft. I could tell from the emotions swirling in her bright eyes that she knew not to go any farther with the subject. "Well...?"

      Ah. The original question. "I'm not really sure, to be honest with you. But... do you know if I could ride one of your bird pokemon?" I asked, placing my elbows on the table's top. I can't believe I'm actually doing this.

      Liza gawked at me for a moment, and then spoke. "Well, sure, I do it all the time, but... have you ever ridden a pokemon in the air before?" She asked me, her face growing serious.

      "No." I admitted.

      "Then it might be sort of dangerous for somebody like you." She replied, sighing. "It might not be a good idea."

      During that moment, I almost considered the possibility of giving up, but no. I wouldn't. I had to achieve my heart's fantasy, no, my heart's goal. "I don't care how dangerous it might be. I need to do this." I pressed. I then opened my eyes wide, letting the memories of the argument I had with Ash seep into my mind. ...Dangerous... Was I setting up my own death by simply following my heart? Shaking my head, I ignored these worries, and looked up at Liza to see what her reaction was.

      Her eyes were weary, but she nodded. "Okay. I understand." She stood up, scooting back her chair. "Do you want to look at my pokemon right now?"

      "Sure." I replied. But then something came over me, and I had the sudden urge to take my hair out of its side ponytail. I wanted to feel freedom. I wanted my hair to hang by my shoulders. "But first I need to let my hair down."

      As I reached towards my hair, I saw her gaze at it. She frowned. "You tie your hair up using a rubber band?" She asked.

      Ever since I had burrowed the rubber band from Delia, days before the earthquake, I hadn't even taken my hair out of its messy side ponytail to even sleep. "Well, just this once. I don't usually." I explained. But as I tugged on my hair, I then realized why she sounded troubled. The rubber band just plain wouldn't come out. Frustration pumped through my blood. "Oh great... now what?"

      "I'll go get some scissors." She told me quickly, and ran off to a different room to retrieve them. Continuing to tug on the rubber band, I knew that it wasn't because of my hair that I was suddenly feeling the hot emotion of frustration. When Delia handed me the rubber band, over two weeks ago, she was completely unknowing of the argument Ash and I had just moments before. Would things have gone different if I had told her what happened? Would I have been able to prevent a disaster from occurring?

      My frustration showed as I frantically used the scissors Liza handed me to quickly cut the rubber band out. Glancing down at the floor, I saw small strands of my orange hair scattered on the ground. Through my frustration, I also managed to accidentally cut some of my tangled hair. "Oh well." I muttered. Liza cast a worried glance at me, but it quickly disappeared as we both walked outside towards her yard.

      Liza led me through the crunching grass, towards a Skarmory and Swellow that were absent-mindedly pecking at the ground for food. When Liza smiled warmly as she pat both on the head, I knew that this was where she truly belonged. This was where her heart would always feel content. It was here, with bird pokemon, where she belonged.

      But my thoughts were interrupted as she spoke to me. "I find that the best flyers are these two right here." She informed me. "I ride them pretty often."

      I nodded, letting myself gaze out at the rest of the bird pokemon. A particularly huge Pidgeot caught my eye. That's when I realized it was the same Pidgeot I had asked about when I first visited. "Does that one still not let you fly on it?" I asked, pointing in the Pidgeot's direction.

      Liza let out a defeated sigh. "I'm afraid so." She answered. "But she has grown a ton since you last visited, hasn't she?" Catching my alerted glance, she added, "Yes, even though she's huge, she's a girl Pidgeot." and winked at me.

      I nodded once again, but walked over towards the Pidgeot and brushed a hand over her feathers, which were surprisingly smooth and soft. "That's too bad." I murmured.

      "You two seem to get along well, though." Liza observed. "The first time I tried to pet her, she nipped at me." Stretching her arms out, she turned towards her house. "I'll be right back, okay? Don't try to ride Skarmory or Swellow without me." And with that she walked away, her long white hair swishing at her waist.

      After making sure Liza was inside, I slowly climbed onto the Pidgeot's back. She gave a small cry of protest, but otherwise didn't budge. I gestured for Pikachu to stay in the yard, and then leaned down so I was gazing directly into the Pidgeot's wild eyes.

      "I know you don't like flying with people on your back and all, but... just do this for me." I whispered soothingly. "Please." Begging. I was actually begging to a pokemon. If I weren't so desperate, I would've laughed at myself. But for some reason, when I stared in this Pidgeot's eyes, I didn't get the same type of look I got from the Skarmory and Swellow. This look was filled with swirling emotions. Swirling emotions that were almost... human-like. Somehow, I felt that if I were to ride a bird pokemon through the skies, this was the one I had to ride.

      The Pidgeot gave a loud squawk, and then started rapidly flapping her wings, sending feathers flying into the air. Gasping in air, I quickly held on to the mass of feathers in front of me that was placed on Pidgeot's back as we took off into the bright blue skies. As rapid blowing wind tugged on my body and sent my tangled hair flapping at the side of my face, I shut my eyes tight and clenched harder onto Pidgeot's feathers, my knuckles turning white. My whole body swelled up with sudden fear.

      No... don't let fear take over your body. This is freedom, not fear. You've achieving your heart's goal. Now open your eyes and live the moment! A voice shouted inside of my head. Slowly but surely, I opened my eyes. Glancing around me, all I saw was a mix of brilliant blue, bright sunlight shining into my eyes, and blurs of white that I knew were clouds. Look down. I told myself. You have to look down.

      Taking a deep shuddering breath, I let myself look down. All breath seemed to be knocked out of my lungs as I gazed out at the large hills beyond with wide eyes. From up here, everything looked so small, and yet so... vast. The rolling hills seemed to go on forever, and buildings were just small specks, like tiny ants. The sun seemed brighter than ever before, and the wind swirling around my body didn't seem so deadly anymore.

      Now this was pure freedom.

      Letting my grip relax, I slowly lifted my hands up from Pidgeot's back, raising them higher into the air, not sure what I was doing. Letting all my fear dissolve, I let my arms be blown back by my side in a large sweeping motion, and stretched out my fingers as my palms faced upwards. Now all that was holding me onto Pidgeot was my legs at her side, tightly gripping myself onto her back. Lifting my face into the sun, I softly closed my eyes, and let a large smile emerge on my face. And then I laughed. I laughed with the pure joy of achieving my heart's goal for freedom. This was where I belonged. If I ever wanted to escape my troubles, all I had to do was lift to the skies on wings.

Dear Diary,

      I cannot believe how content my heart feels after everything I've been through. To think that you can do one simple action to make it feel as if all your troubles have drifted away... it's just... amazing. When I'm all the way up here, and I feel the wind twisting, racing, and weaving through my hair, and when I feel the hot gleaming sun shine down onto my face, I feel free as the wind. I feel so... light. It's hard to explain. But all I know is this - if I ever feel like the world is going to end, if I ever feel like there's nobody out there that loves me anymore... all I have to do is soar through the skies.

      Upon reaching the ground in Liza's yard once again, the first sight I was met with was Liza herself, staring up at me with both worried, relieved, confused, and angry eyes. "I... you...?!" She stuttered, unsure of how to begin.

      "Sorry about that." I told her, climbing over the Pidgeot and back onto firm ground. I stumbled for a minute, a bit dizzy, but then regained my balance quickly. "I just... had this urge, you know?"

      She gawked at me, and then managed to find words. "I told you not to ride one of them until I got back!" She spat, letting her anger out first before her other emotions.

      "You told me not to ride your Skarmory or Swellow before you got back, not your Pidgeot." I replied calmly. In spite of myself, I grinned. Pikachu hopped up onto my left shoulder and nuzzled my cheek, obviously aware of my sudden strange happiness.

      Even though I could tell she tried not to, a smile emerged on her face. "Okay, okay, you win that one. But tell me... how did you get Pidgeot to let you ride her?"

      I shrugged. "I don't know." I lied. "I guess you're right - we just happen to get along well for some reason."

      We just there for a moment, gazing at each other in silence.

      Finally, Liza spoke. "So... how did it go?" She asked softly.

      I grinned my largest grin yet. Even I couldn't believe it myself. All of the depression weighing down my heart just moments ago had vanished. "It was amazing." I replied. And with that, I ripped out my most recent journal entry that had the description of the flight, and walked into her house without waiting for her permission.

      "Wait, what are you doing?" She asked, running after me.

      "This." I answered simply. Placing the ripped-out diary entry in my pocket, I then threw the rest of the diary into her fireplace.

      As I watched its pages fade into a charred black and curl together as it was engulfed in red licking flames, I felt a sudden determination. The past argument I had with Ash and the dangerous troubles and depression that had been swirling through my mind were now gone, and it would stay that way. I wouldn't let myself turn to the past again. Everything was fine now. Ash was out of my life forever. Everything would be okay.

      Oh how terribly wrong I was in thinking that.