Disclaimer: I don't own Romeo and Juliet. Shakespeare does. I also don't own Pokemon, unfortunately.

A/N: A product of my boredom. Enjoy.

 

Romeo and Juliet: Pokemon Style!

ACT 1
in which there is casting

(All seem to be floating in space because I'm to lazy to think of a background.)

Prof. Oak: This year, for no apparent reason, we're all doing a play of Romeo and Juliet.

Ash: Um...what?

Prof. Oak (exasperated): Everyone is performing Romeo and Juliet. Oh no, my cookies are burning! (he exits)

Drew: And why would we do that?

May: He just said! For no apparent reason!

Brock: I'll be Romeo!

Misty (laughing): Brock, if you're Romeo, nobody's going to want to be Juliet.

Ash: I'M Romeo! May can be Juliet!

May: I'll only be Juliet if Drew's Romeo.

Drew (chokes): I'm not going to be your Romeo!

Misty: It's settled then. I'll be Juliet and Ash can be Romeo.

Ash: You will NOT be Juliet! (grabs Jessie out of thin air) Jessie can be Juliet!

Jessie: Okay. Who's Romeo?

Ash and Brock together: Me.

Jessie. Eep! I'm not going to be Juliet if either of you two are Romeo!

James (appears out of nowhere, wearing blonde wig): I'm Juliet!

(All sweatdrop)

Jessie: No, I'M Juliet!

Misty: I'M Juliet!

May: If Drew won't be Romeo, I won't be Juliet.

Ash: Yes you will!

Brock (confused): I thought you wanted Jessie to be Juliet!

(piano falls from the sky and squishes Brock)

Brock (in muffled voice): I'm okay!

William Shakespeare (who has just sprang out of the ground): A rose by any other name -

Ash: Shut up, you.

(Misty hits Shakespeare with her mallet. He disappears.)

Misty: Now, where were we?

May: Let's draw straws!

All: HEYEAH!

(all draw straws)

Drew: Oh, no. I got Romeo.

May: YESS!

Drew: Don't tell me...

May (in a sing-song voice): I got Julie-et!!

(Drew groans)

Misty: Okaaay...I'm Mercutio.

Ash: I'm Benovovovovolioio.

Misty (whacks Ash with her mallet): It's Benvolio, you idiot.

Jessie (grumbling): I'm Gregory...

James: And I'm Sampson. Weird name.

Brock (from under piano): Who am I?

Ash: You can be Teebolt.

May: You mean Tybalt.

Misty: What about all the other characters?

(Kanto Gym Leaders enter)

Erika: We'll be Chorus!

(Gary enters)

Gary: I'll be Escalus, Prince of Verona!

Ash (sulking): He ALWAYS gets to be the prince!

(Richie enters)

Richie: I wanna be someone!

Drew: You be Paris.

Richie (whining): Paris is a girl's name!

Drew: Yeah, well for some odd reason Shakespeare saw fit to give a boy the name of a girl.

(Richie sulks)

(Liza and Tate enter)

Liza: I'll be Montague.

Tate: I'll be Capulet.

Ash (to Liza): You do know Montague is a man?

(Liza shrugs)

(Wallace and Juan both enter, elbowing each other furiously.)

Wallace: I'll be the nameless old man!

Juan: No, I'LL be the nameless old man!

Misty: You can both be the nameless old man, now shut up!

(Wallace and Juan sulk)

(Prof. Oak comes back, holding a plate of cookies)

Oak: My cookies are done!

Brock (from under piano): Well yippee.

(Prof. Elm enters)

May (to Elm and Oak): You two can be Laurence and John.

(Elm and Oak look confused)

(Flannery and Winona enter, gossiping)

Winona: And then I was like, no! And she was like, uh, yaaa!

Flannery: And then?

Winona: And then I was like, omigawd, you're like, such a skank.

Flannery: And then?

Winona: And then she was like, uh! And I was like -

Jessie: You two be Balthasar and Abram.

Winona and Flannery: What, evaa!

Winona: And then she was like...

(Brawly enters)

Brawly: Yo ma peeps!

Ash: Brawly, you can be Peter.

Brawly: Fo'shizzle!

(Everyone sweatdrops)

(Bugsy enters)

Misty (to Bugsy): You be the Apothecary!

Bugsy: What's an acothepry?

Misty: God knows.

(Three Mexican musicians fall from the sky and start playing mandolins and banjos and singing random Mexican songs)

(Drew falls over in surprise)

May: Well there's our three musicians.

(Officer Jenny enters)

(Brock produces bunch of flowers from under piano)

Brock: Jenny my love!

Jenny: Why is Brock under a piano?

Misty: It fell on him, Officer.

Jenny: Oh.

Ash: Hey, Officer, you be Officer!

Jenny: Um...okay...

(Nurse Joy enters)

(Brock produces another bunch of flowers from under piano)

Brock: Joy my love!

Joy: Why is Brock under a piano?

May: It fell on him, Nurse.

Joy: Oh.

Drew: Hey, Nurse, you be Nurse!

Winona: What-EVAAA!

Drew: I wasn't talking to you.

Winona: Get a job, yo.

(All sweatdrop as Winona and Flannery go back to gossipping)

(About three million random people enter)

Ash: And there's our citizens.

Oak: Who wants cookies?

Brawly: Fo'shizzle!

(all exit, eating cookies)

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