The Twelve Days of Christmas: Pokemon Style Disclaimer: I found this in the same notebook as Olivine City, so I thought that I would go ahead and type it up. I already did one in Organization XIII style, so why not pokemon? By the way, Mimey is the nickname Delia Ketchum gave to her Mr. Mime. I remember that episode, Ash's mom thought that the Mr. Mime was him. She really isn't the great mom she looks like she is. In movie three, she was more excited to see Pikachu than Ash. The only time I ever saw her show concern back when I watched this show was in movie 2. Well, enough ranting for now. ooooo "Alright you bunch of maggots, we have been asked to perform Pallet's local christmas carol performance, so we are going to sing the twelve days of christmas," Mewtwo explained behind the curtain. "Umm, I think the people wanted the actual play," Ash tried to suggest, but Mewtwo gave him a glare that silenced him. The curtain rose, everyone applauded, and Mewtwo began. "On the first day of christmas, my true love gave to me, a farfetch'd in a pear tree." Mewtwo dared anyone to mess the song up. Ash stepped forward and cleared his throat, "On the second day of christmas, Misty gave to me...err...this shirt thing." "It's called a tie, you moron. It has Pikachus on it," Misty held up the tie. Ash held it between his fingers like it was a peice of smelly garbage. "When am I ever going to use this? I wear the same thing everyday," Ash looked at Misty, who was giving him a death glare. "And a farfethch'd in a tree that better not mess up it's lines." both Misty and Ash pailed from the glare Mewtwo was giving them. "On the third day of christmas, Ash gave me this arguement, apparently." "I gave you a necklace," ash put his hands on his hips, looking at Misty. "You did?" she raised an eyebrow at him. "I got a tie," Ash held the tie up before dropping it unceremoniously to the ground. "The farfetch'd in the tree," Mewtwo looked like he was already bored of this and was hovering over the stage lazily. "On the...wait a minute, I can talk? Anyways, on the 4th day of christmas, Ash gave me nothing. you little ingrate of a trainer!" Pikachu shocked Ash, unphased by his new talking abilities. "Apparently Ash gave me something," Misty was bored of the song as well. "Well, you didn't get me anything, Pikachu!" Ash shouted, slightly fried from a thunder bolt. Mewtwo just yawned and created a barrier from the electric attack around himself. "On the fifth day of christmas, Jesse gave me five differant dresses! Oooo, I can't wait to try them on!" James squeled in girlish glee. "I didn't get anything. I need a new trainer," Pikachu eyed Ash, prepairing to shock him again. "I still have yet to see this necklace, Ash." Misty was tapping her foot, impatient. "A tie that I'll never use." "Umm...yeah, that bird in that plant," Mewtwo began to use one of the stage lights for target practice with his psychic attack. "On the sixth day of chirstmas, James gave me...wait a minute, where are you going?" Jesse began to run after a quickly fleeing, dress-clad James. "Hehe, James forgot to get Jesse something, so I'll fill in for him," Gary grinned, watching the flaming man run from the fury of an angry woman. "Nothing," Pikachu was sulking in the corner. "You didn't give me a necklace Ash," Misty was prepairing her mallet for some Ash smashing. "Yes I did, oh wait, I forgot to give it to you," Ash tossed the box to Misty. "It is quickly becoming redundant for me to say this line." Mewtwo looked like he had taken Ash up on his suggestion. "Well, on the 7th day of christmas, Pikachu gave me some thunda bolts," the old newyorker cat, Meowth, rubbed a zapped spot on his back that was paining him. "This is great, they're having a pokemon battle!" Gary laughed as Lickitung mercilously licked a screaming James. "Absolutely nothing," Pikachu was furious. Misty is too busy opening her presant to sing. "I got a tie over here," Ash kicked the tie at his feet. "Wait a second, no one got me anything, I was just trying to go with the actual song." Mewtwo scowled as he floated agitatedly above everyone. "On the eighth day of christmas, my true love...wait a second, I don't have a true love," Brock began to cry in a very unmanly fashion. Mewoth was getting shocked by a very annoyed Pikachu that needed to vent. "I'm still getting my gift," Meowth mewed in pain. "Go Jesse, it's your birthday, not really, but anyways," Gary sang and danced about in a very unmanly fashion. "Pikachu! Pi..Pika?" Pikachu was confused as to why he no longer had the power of human speech. "It's a candy necklace. What kind of person buys someone a candy necklace for christmas!?" Misty was shouting at Ash. "Well, you bought me a tie. Gee, how much thought goes into that girft?" Ash retaliated. "One of you lowly scum is responsible for buying me something for christmas," Mewtwo growled, though he was pretty much being ignored. "On the 9th day of christmas, Professor Oak gave me nine books of science," Mrs. Ketchum smiled, a struggling Mimey behind her carrying the large text books. "Why, why can't I ever get a girlfriend, why?" Brock sighed, having a pity party for one. "Why are you shocking me? I haven't even tried to steal ya!" Meowth shouted as he dodged another thunder attack. "Bwahahaha! Jesse won," Gary was laughing at the sight of James covering his head with his hands and his butt in the air as Jesse threatened James. "PiiiikaaaCHU!" Pikachu electrecuted Meowth once again. "See if I ever buy you another gift ever again!" Misty shouted dangerously. "Yeah, right back at ya!" Ash shouted back the lamest come back in the history of Pokemon. "Clone army, buy me presants so I can rule christmas!" Mewtwo commanded his army, which reluctantly abliged his request. "On the tenth day of christmas, Mrs. Ketchum gave to me...ten packets of seed?" Profesor Oak looked at the seeds questioningly. "I really don't understand these books." Mrs. Ketchum was flipping through one of the books with a look of concentration on her face. Mimey was about to die from the weight of the books he was still holding. "Santa, if you truely exsist, please bring me a girlfriend," Brock was on his hands and knees, begging. Meowth had fainted and Pikachu was pulling at the coin on his forehead, hoping to use it to buy something for himself. Meanwhile, Ash and Misty continued to argue as Mewtwo waited for his clones to return with presants. "On elevendy of chirstie-mas, mommy gave to Togepi, a necklace of sweet things!" Togepi had gained Pikachu's power of speech somehow, though it's grammer left much to be desired. "I'm not a gardener, so what am I going to do with these seeds?" Profesor Oak was looking at the seeds, all of which were tomato, and tossing them over his shoulder one by one. "I really don't understand what fission and fusion are going to help me with in my job as a house wife to no one except my Mimey." Mrs. Ketchum finally allowed an exhaisted Mimey to set the books down. "Why am I cursed to forever by touched by Cupid's arrow and never get the girl?" Brock had broken down in a corner and was scaring Gary. Meowth was still fainted. Pikachu had given up trying to get the coin off of Meowth's forehead and was sulking by himself. "Umm...Brock, chill out man," Gary was looking at Brock with a scared expression. Meanwhile, James was holding up his dress so he wouldn't step on it and running at top speed from a very angry Jesse. "You gave Togepi your necklace?" Ash looked hurt. "What am I supposed to do with a candy necklace? Plus, I sort of forgot to get it something," Misty blushed. "Fine, well, I'm giving Pikachu my tie," Ash huffed. "MWAHAHAHA! My minions have returned and they are bearing fruit cake!" Mewtwo laughed evily. "Hmm?" James looked up, thinking someone was refering to his fruitcake (not beefcake) self. Jesse used this oppertunity to whack James as hard as she could with a mallet that somehow magically appeared in her hand. "On the last day of christmas, no one gave me anything because apparently no one likes me, but the end of this song is worth more than a master card worth 5000 dollars." Tracey was beaming, sketching James on his sketch pad with meticulous detail for some odd reason. "This candy's yummy," Togepi was munching it's self into an emminent sugar rush. "I'm an expert on pokemon, but it never occured to me to learn how to garden." Profesor Oak blush slightly before getting glomped by a sludge pile known as Muk. "Well, I'm sure these books will fetch a lot on ebay, come Mimey!" Delia commanded. Mimey looked at her and cursed in pokemon under his breath as he lugged the books to their house. "I need a girlfriend," Brock was curled up in a ball in the corner. Meowth had woken up and had left, as well as Jesse and an abused and dress-clad James. Gary had tiptoed around Brock and had fled from the stage. "Well, a second hand tie is better than nothing," Pikachu was unphased by it's sudden re- acquired ability to speak. "Nothing," Misty sighed. "I'll give you something," Ash looked at her slyly. "A bike?" Misty looked hopeful. Ash facefaulted. "No, this," Ash planted a wet one on her. "Fruit cake, no wonder humans don't like it," Mewtwo threw a peice of cake he had tasted into the audience and fled the scene to wash the taste out of his mouth. ooo Yeah, umm... 'til next time, this is the Lonepichu signing out