Pokemon World Online

Login 2: n00bs and b00bs

Disclaimer: I don't own pokemon or anything else like that. Here's part two of 
my computer game fic. If you didn't already know, it's supposed to be funny. R&R 
please.

ooo

Twilmer yawned as she stretched and got up off the ground. She wasn't used to 
being a Pichu yet and sleeping on the hard ground of Cobalt feild did not help. 
Helium had said that he'd login early to help her find a party, so she had to 
make herself presentable. "He doesn't need to know that I never log out," 
Twilmer sighed as she did her best to make her fur look presentable and not 
dirty and slept upon. Ten minutes later, Twilmer grew impatient. "That's it, I'm 
sick of waiting. He can find me if he wants to be on my party so badly. It's not 
like I really need an herbalist," Twilmer grumped, completely forgetting the 
fact that normal people had lives outside the game and couldn't be on 24/7 like 
she was.

Twilmer grumbled to herself and began walking in a random direction. She could 
never remember exploring Cobalt feild much as it didn't have anything of 
interest to a grace master in it. It was mostly aplace for tamers and herbalists 
to hang out. Grace masters usually perferred mountains or rivers or anything 
else that they could push the limits of their agility on. Cobalt feild was 
completely boring compaired to the places Twilmer liked to hang out. She hadn't 
gone far when an ear-peircing shreik made Twilmer cringe and fall over. "OMIGOD 
OMIGOD OMG!!!11 Itsa Pichu!" Twilmer saw a girl in what appeared to be a 
Bunneary suit running towards her. The girl then picked her up and squeezed her.

"Bones...crushed...HP...lowering..." Twilmer coughed. Twilmer growled and let 
out a discharge of static electricity, which caused the rabid fangirl to drop 
her. "Just what do you think you're doing, crushing an admin with those arms of 
death? I could've fainted form such a damaging hug! I should up your warning 
level for that!" Twilmer scolded, wagging her finger at the Bunneary-suit clad 
gamer.

"Aww, a talking Pichu that thinks it's an admin. That's a game feature that I've 
never seen before. LOL" the girl went to hug Twilmer again, but she managed the 
agilk\ity of a grace master in her pudgy pichu body to dodge it.

"I should send a request to headquarters to modle a boss after you. I am an 
administrator for Pokemon World Online. I am the great Twilmer, as I'm sure 
you've heard of me, and I will not be spoken to with such noobish speech. I just 
look like a Pichu because of a glitch," Twilmer tried to explain over the girly 
skwees that were coming from the gamer.

"Sure you are misses Pichu. I bet I'll be the first tamer ever to tame a talking 
pokemon! Come on, Bunneary, we've got some work to do!" The girl and her 
Bunneary got on opposite ends of Twilmer.

"This is not going to end well," Twilmer's ears drooped.

"Twilmer, is that you?" Helium's voice came from her right. Twilmer's ear perked 
back up as she called over to the herbalist. "Oh, you must be a tamer. I'm 
Helium and I'm an herbalist. This is Gloom," Helium introduced himself.

"I am Emily23 and I'm the best tamer in Cobalt. I've already tamed all the basic 
pokemon in this area and have distrubuted most of them. This is my partner, 
Bunneary. As you may be able to tell, I got the 4th generation booster pack 
recently and am now able to use 4th generation pokemon and items, hence my 
garb." Emily23 turned, showcasing her outfit. "It only cost me 2000 poke which 
is a steal!"

"Only 2000? I should talk to the higher-ups about raising prices on ridiculous 
outfits such as this," Twilmer pondered with a paw to her chin.

"What did you say?" Emily23 glared at Twilmer and brushed a floppy ear out of 
her face.

"She didn't mean anything by it," Helium got between the two before the 
situation could get worse. "She's just kinda testy after being transformed into 
a Pichu."

"Oh, so she is an admin turned Pichu? That's odd, I've never heard of a glitch 
doing something like this." Emily23 put a finger to her mouth as she pondered.

"Yes, and now she's forming a party to help her solve the mystery of this glitch 
and return her to her former self." Helium explained.

"I can talk for myself," Twilmer grumbled.

"I see! In that case, Emily23 would be happy to join your party. If the glitch 
is turning players into pokemon, then I want to be there to see it. I just love 
pokemon and it's why I became a tamer." Emily23 smiled at the two.

"I don't want her on our party. I barely want you on my party. You can't just 
invite her," Twilmer turned away from Helium.

"Oh come on, she might be useful." Helium smiled at her gently and allowed 
Twilmer to climb up his arm and ride on his shoulder as they continued their way 
through Cobalt.

"Yeah, she'll be useful if we ever need a n00b to admin translator," Twilmer 
sighed to herself.

ooo

"Some party we are," Twilmer complained as they entered a nearby town, "a tamer, 
an herbalist, and a grace master turned Pichu. If that glitch appears here, our 
party is toast."

"Well, we may not be able to attack, but we can tame it if it's a wild pokemon, 
or we could damage an enemy enough to escape with my stores of herbs," Helium 
smiled, trying to get Twilmer to look on the bright side. She just looked up at 
him with a glare that told him keeping his mouth shut was a good option.

"At least we're in a city now. There's bound to be some people here who would be 
willing to join our party. Now that I have you two with me, I won't get 
trampled. You're sort of like my own personal body guards," Twilmer laughed to 
herself, enjoying the view from helium's shoulder.

"That's big talk coming from such a little gamer," a snide, feminine voice said. 
The group turned to see a well endowed gamer standing near them. "The name's 
Elra and I'm a grace master."

"Elra!" Twilmer jumped off of Helium's shoulder and glared up at the woman that 
was more than ten times Twilmer's height. "I remember you. Before I was an 
admin, you used to always challenge me to matches and then you would cheat and 
beat me." Twilmer growled, sparks coming out of her cheeks.

"I didn't cheat, I just simply used my items. It's not my fault that your hands 
would get so sore from holding the controller that your attacks would become 
sluggish. You really spend way too much time online. Rumor has it that you 
haven't logged off in eight months. Too bad your profile is set to private or 
else you could end those rumors." Elra grinned at Twilmer with a look that 
disapproved of the admin. "Personally I believe the rumors. The rumors of you 
being turned into a Pichu were right, so this must be as well."

"Don't believe everything you hear," Twilmer growled, cheeks sparking more 
feircely. "I should've known we'd find you in a city as badly programmed as this 
one. Come on, we don't want any party members from this city anyways." Twilmer 
grumped.

"Who're they?" Elra pointed at Emily23 and Helium.

"Hello, I'm Helium. I'm an herbalist and I've become quite skilled at energy 
potions," Helium bowed; Gloom following suit.

"I am Emily23 and this is my Bunneary. I am the best tamer this game has ever 
seen. In just a weeks time, I tamed all the wild pokemon of Cobalt feild. ROFL 
it was so easy that I w00ted when I finished."

"Em, there are only five differant kinds of pokemon that live in Cobalt, and 
most of them are bug pokemon like Caterpie and Wurmple. That's nothing to brag 
about," Twilmer shook her head and mumbled "n00bs" under her breath. EMily23 
lost her composure (dropped her controller in real life).

"So? I'm a beginer so cut me some slack!"

"hahahahaha, how did I know that your party would look like this? A tamer and an 
herbalist, but no attacker?" Elra laughed uncontrollably.

"I'm the attacker for this party. I'm a grace master, remember? Also I'm not 
that one that allowed Emily23 to join our party. That was laughing gas boy over 
there," Twilmer pointed at Helium, who shrugged it off.

"The attacker? You couldn't harm a Magikarp with that static of yours," tears 
were coming out of Elra's eyes as she continued to laugh.

"Elra, I challenge you to a battle. Grace master versus grace master," Twilmer 
growled, standing her ground and staring at Elra with Pichu determination.

"Twilmer, don't! You're just a Pichu," Helium looked at her worriedly.

"Listen to your little boyfriend there. He speaks wisdom," Elra glanced down at 
Twilmer. "I won't battle you like this. As rivals, I want a fair match and I'm 
sorry, but a match against you at this moment wouldn't be fair." Elra began to 
walk away.

"Elra, you come back here and fight me like a man...woman...whatever. For all I 
know you could be one of those weirdo boys playing a girl charcter. They do say 
MMRPG stands for many men role-playing girls." Twilmer called after Elra's 
departing figure. Twilmer tried to run after Elra, but Elra simply warped away. 
"I forgot she had a warp staff." The staff was the weapon of choice for the 
grace master job class.

"Come on, Twilmer, we can find some other people to join our party that aren't 
such party poopers. Maybe we can find some hawt m3n here!" Emily23 gushed.

"I know you are not speaking l33t to me! An admin deserves to have proper 
sentances used when spoken to, are you listening?" Twilmer shouted at Emily23, 
who obviously wasn't listening. Her attention was caught on some dropped poke on 
the ground.

"Ooh, with this I might be able to buy the new Bunneary taming pole. It's shaped 
like a bunneary on the flat end." Tamers used poles to tame pokemon with. The 
poles had two ends, one was flattened and used for guiding a wild pokemon and 
the other end was a dlunt spear that was used for blocking wild pokemon and, in 
extreme cases, hitting them. "You guys wait here while I see if any of the local 
shops have it!" With that, EMily23 ran off.

"Like we even had a choice," Twilmer blinked, then humphed.

"Hey, Twilmer," Helium said softly.

"Yeah?" Twilmer looked up questioningly at the pink-robed male.

"Is what Elra said true? Have you not logged out in eight months?" Helium looked 
at her with concern clouding his auburn eyes.

"There's a reason why I keep my profile private." Twilmer grumbled under her 
breath, but Helium heard it anyways, though he acted as if he didn't. Twilmer 
cleared her throat, "Of course I log out every night at a reasonable hour and 
eat ample and healthy food while getting adequite exercise." Twilmer glanced 
sideways at Helium, who wasn't buying her story at all, but was acting as if he 
did. "Okay, maybe I spend more time on here than is healthy, but come on, this 
place is great. Pokemon World Online is much better than real life," Twilmer 
sighed, but shook her head and recovered that moment of exposed weakness with a 
sneer, "What do you want to bet that the n00b got lost?"

"Well, considering that she has yet to leave the Cobalt feild area since she 
began the game, I'd say not likely in this area. Other areas it'd be highly 
likely. Do you wish to go look for her?"

"Might as well. It's not like people are jumping at the chance to join our 
party. Until we get some better jobs on our party, we'll need that n00b." 
Twilmer and Helium set off to find Emily23, who had indeed gotten lost even 
though this was her umpteenth trip to town.