Disclaimers:

Don't own Pokémon. Don't own Formula One. Don't boss the drivers around. Don't own the 11 teams. I don't own nothing!!! Do you hear me?!!

Mario's Notes:

FINALLY!!! Ash Ketchum has returned to Formula One!! Or, has returned for the Grand Prix of Belgium at the legendary 4.2-mile Spa Francorchamps circuit. What will happen?!!

Ash Ketchum: Formula One Driver
Chapter 18: Finally... Ash Has Come Back To F1!!!

The day before I left for Belgium with the teams, I got a phone call from Rubens Barrichello, telling me that Mr. Ash Ketchum and Mr. Keith Terrell have returned to Maranello in one piece. I am relieved that the two have returned safely, but I know that Ralf Schumacher won't like it one bit. I can't imagine what "adventures" those two have had in Kanto. All I heard from Ferrari President Luca di Montzemolo was that Team Rocket was after Keith a lot. Well, I'll personally drill those two young men when they arrive. Unfortunately, I have to tell Rubens that he has been DQ from the European GP and will lose his win, due to that rule infraction. Also, I have to tell Juan that he'll lose his win from Hungary due to the same infraction. My life as Formula One Supremo is not boring these days, especially with Rubens and Juan dog fighting it out for the Driver's Title. 2005 is going to be a great year for Formula One.

A random entry in one of Bernie Ecclestone's Formula One notebooks.

The Ferrari team was the last team to arrive at Spa Francorchamps at Noon Thursday. The 10 teams arrived in the morning and started taking the cars, engines and equipment out of the transporters and headed to their assigned garages. Upon arrival to the driver's lounge, Ash, Keith and Pikachu were greeted by the other drivers and gave them a standing ovation. Mark Webber, Alex Yoong, Jenson Button, Riley Jenius and Ronin Vertigo were also applauding the two drivers. They arrived with the Bridgestone tire guys on Wednesday. Ash went into enemy territory to think about his plans for 2006 and returned in one piece. It didn't work out very well as he wanted, but he was glad to be back with his friends/rivals on the F1 circuit. Meowth was busy explaining what happened to Ash during his off time to the Toyota team.

"They're back! And still in one piece to boot!!" Giancarlo Fisichella said as the two entered the room,

"Hey, welcome back Ash. How was your time off?" Eddie Irvine asked,

"Ask Keith. Michael sent him to keep an eye on me and make sure I didn't kill myself." Ash said as he sat down at the bar. Pikachu jumped off Ash's head and landed on the counter.

"So, Terrell. Anything fun happen?" Giancarlo Fisichella asked,

"Yeah. I beat up a lot of people, assaulted some cops, killed some trainers, kicked some Elite Four ass, broke a girl's heart, ran over some people, fucked up my Ferrari and destroyed a lot of stuff." Keith said as he sat down at the bar with Ash,

[We had a lot of fun!! I shocked a lot of people!!!] Pikachu said cheerfully,

"Pikachu said he shocked a lot of trainers also." Ash said,

"Anything REAL good happen that we should know about? Huh?" Riley Jenius asked and then, Ronin Vertigo and Francois Deletraz ganged up on Keith also.

"Well... I met a nice, attractive woman in Celadon City." Keith said and his face started blushing.

"Terrell's got a woman!! Terrell's got a woman!!" Ronin said as he got the other drivers to join in the chant,

"No, I don't!! She is not my girlfriend!" Keith said to defend himself,

"I'm proud of you, you Don Juan you!!!" Francois Deletraz said as he patted Keith on the back,

"Deletraz, did I say this woman is my girlfriend?!!!" Keith asked,

"Well, no." Deletraz answered,

"Then, she is not my woman!! So, drop it!!" Keith growled and the young Frenchman backed away,

"Lucky son of a bitch. I'm 24 and I still have no damn woman!!" Riley Jenius said,

"Well, here. I give up!! Take a look at her and tell me if I'm still a lucky son of a bitch. Her name is Lorelei. I got this picture of her before Ash and I headed here." Keith said as he took out a picture of Lorelei, Keith's new so-called girlfriend. The drivers love to get on each other's case if one of them has a girlfriend in their lives. Now, Terrell is feeling their wrath.

"I bet she's a nice woman... DAMN, SHE'S LOOKIN' FINE!!!!" Ronin Vertigo said as he reacted to seeing how beautiful Lorelei is,

"Yup." Keith said with a smirk on his face,

"God... DAMN!!!! She's a supermodel!! Look at the jugs on her!! You sure like women with big hooters, Keith!! Why didn't you tell me about her?!!" Riley yelled out. Mark Webber and Jarno Trulli started to laugh at Riley's outburst. Every driver in F1 knows that Riley likes two things about women, a nice butt and a big chest, that makes the Bar driver from Canada F1's one and only chauvinistic pig.

"Oh, man. That's funny as hell." Mark Webber said as he laughed along with Jarno,

"I knew you were going to say that, Jenius." Ash said,

"You!!! Lucky!!! Bastard!!! I hate you!!!" Riley said,

"You hate everybody, Riley!!!!" Tomas Scheckter said out loud,

"Yeah. We knew that a long time ago." Alex Yoong agreed,

"You're worse than me when I'm whacked out on cough syrup 2 years ago." Giancarlo Fisichella said,

"Shut up, Scheckter!!! I hate you even more!!!" Riley shot back,

"Bite me!!!!" Scheckter added. Both Webber and Trulli were still laughing their asses off after the usual Riley bashing. Mark leaned back so far in his seat that the Australian fell to the ground and hit the back of his head on the floor.

"OW!! Goddamn chair!!!" Mark said as he tossed the chair and it crashed into the wall. The Minardi driver has a bad habit of leaning in his chairs a lot. Half the time, he falls to the ground backwards and hits his head.

"I must admit, Keith. You do like the supermodel types. Man, she's beautiful." Francois said,

"Actually, she's a former member of the Elite Four." Ash said,

"To tell you the truth, she likes Americans." Keith said,

"DAMMIT!! I wish I was an American!!!" Ronin said. Olivier Panis, Juan Pablo Montoya and Takuma Sato all looked at the picture, all of them were now jealous of Keith.

"Wait. Why am I jealous of you Keith? I'm already married!! I got to be faithful!!!" Juan Montoya said,

"Yeah. I wish I was an American too!!" Nick Heidfeld said,

"Oh, god. You know, why don't you fill out a paper in America to become a citizen and wait 7 years to be one." Keith said,

"WHY?!!!!!" Riley yelled out. Ash laughed silently at the carnage and the other drivers laughed and made fun of the Canadian again. He has been away from Formula One for a month, but he was happy to be back with the rest of the guys. He missed the camaraderie of the other drivers and all of the crazy stuff they do between sessions. Ash felt that he was truly back "home".

"Hey, Ash. Should we tell Riley about Officer Jenny?" Keith asked, still watching Riley go nuts.

"Um... later. Much later. In about 10 years. He's not in a good mood. I don't think he could handle it." Ash said and Keith agreed. A Ferrari gofer entered the Driver's Lounge and walked up to Keith and Ash.

"Here, sirs. From Michael." The Ferrari gofer said as he handed the two little notes. Keith nodded his head as he took his and the gofer left.

"A gofer. Let's go." Keith said as he, Ash and Pikachu exited the lounge as the berating of Riley continued by Jarno Trulli, Eddie Irvine and Tomas Scheckter.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Down at the Ferrari garage, Rubens Barrichello, Jean Todt, Ross Brawn and Michael Schumacher were discussing about the Ferrari's setups for Friday Practice and Saturday Qualifying. They had the reports that the Bridgestone technicians did while they did reading on the track.

"The only main change is concrete patches at the Bus Stop chicane. They placed them there after the track started to break apart last year. This should make the chicane faster, because concrete usually grips tires better than asphalt." Michael said,

"That's true. But concrete usually chews up tires faster. Tire wear is now going to play a major factor. We may have to pit 2 times with a hard compound or 3 times with soft Bridgestone compound tires." Rubens said,

"The Michelin boys grip the best on concrete if the temperature is high. Bridgestones grip no matter how hot or cold it is. But, they tend to lose grip on concrete at the end of the race. At the start, you can go all out of that chicane." Ross Brawn added,

"You and Keith may have to go to the hard Bridgestone compound to make it 2 stops. If the Michelin guys have hot weather on Sunday, we will lose big time because their soft compound grips well of concrete." Michael added. He felt someone tap him on the shoulder and when he turned around, Michael saw one of the Ferrari guys with F1 President Bernie Ecclestone, along with Rubens Barrichello's Championship rival from Williams, Juan Pablo Montoya. The Ferrari guys stopped working and they assumed the worst.

"It's about Nurburgring, isn't it?" Michael asked, knowing that what Bernie had to say was going to be real bad.

"I'm afraid so, Mr. Schumacher. And it's gets worse. The FIA just handed down their decision this morning about the wooden plank under the car that was shaved off too much. They have stripped Rubens of the win at the Nurburgring and given it to Juan. So, Keith will now be moved up to 2nd place and Ash will be moved up to 3rd and so on." The Ferrari team groaned after Bernie's announcement. Even Rubens was disappointed, but the team did break a vital rule by accident.

"So... what does this mean for the Driver's Title?" Rubens asked, already fearing the worst.

"Well, you and Montoya are tied for the lead with 76 Points. Now, you will lose your 10 Points from the Nurburgring, giving you only 66 in the Driver's Championship. Now, Montoya will gain 2 more points to his 76 since he finished 2nd. Giving him a total of 78 points. 78 - 66 = a 12 point lead for Montoya. A very healthy lead in F1." One of the Ferrari guys said, who was the team's numbers freak. He worked on Rubens' car and did all the fuel calculations.

"Basically... I'm screwed!!! I'm done for!!! There's no way in hell that I can make up 12 points in the Driver's Title with the way Montoya is racing!!! I have failed you again, Ayrton!!!! I have failed my country!!!!" Rubens said, going into his Senna tirade whenever he thinks he's lost the title,

"There he goes with the Senna comparison. Rubens does this every week when he gets bad news." One of Keith's mechanics said,

"Calm down, Rubens. Remember the Hungary race? And the speculation that Mr. Montoya's car had been under investigation for too much of his wooden plank shaved?" Bernie asked,

"I remember that. I finished 2nd to him." Keith said as he and Ash entered the Ferrari garage,

"Ah, Mr. Terrell and Mr. Ketchum. Good timing. This concerns both of you on the European GP DQ of Rubens. But, back to Hungary." Bernie said,

"Oh, no. Am I going to be DQ also?" Juan asked,

"No. The shaved plank under your car wasn't as bad as Rubens. But, it was bad enough where you will lose your 1st place and will be bumped to 2nd." Bernie answered, just waiting for Keith to jump in at any time.

"Wait, wait, wait. Are you saying that I am the winner of the Grand Prix of Hungary?!!! Since I finished in 2nd behind Montoya?!!!" Keith asked, totally surprised on the final result. The group was waiting for Keith to start cheering, but he decided to be professional about it. "This is not the way I want to win a Grand Prix. I bet you feel the same way, Montoya." Keith said. Montoya didn't answer, but he was secretly kicking himself that the team made that mistake that cost him a win.

"I never did like Hungary anyway. Piece of shit track is so damn dusty." Montoya said,

"I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news and good news of you guys. If you excuse us, I have to drag Mr. Montoya to the Williams garage to tell Sir Frank about the team losing the win. Also, there will be a meeting about next year's F1 schedule and where some races will be held after Friday Practice has concluded." Bernie said as he dragged a now reluctant Montoya to the Williams pits. The last thing the Columbian wants to do is face Sir Frank Williams about bad news. After he was gone, the Ferrari guys got back to being serious.

"Our main concern now is make sure Rubens finishes ahead of Montoya in the points. He's now 10 points ahead with 4 races to go, not including this one. Thanks to Rubens crashing and Montoya winning in Hungary. Keith was no match for him, but we now know that Montoya lost his win and 2 Points and Keith took the win." Jean Todt said,

"Montoya is always good at this track. I haven't finished on the podium since 2002." Rubens said. The four stood in silence until Ross decided to get the team's morale up by getting to work.

"Well, let's stop stalling around. Get Keith's car ready for morning practice. And get the computers warmed up to download the info from the cars." Ross Brawn said. The guy nodded and quickly entered Keith's pit and helped out with the car. Michael left the Ferrari garage to check on some stuff with Ralf when he spotted Ash walking back to his motorhome with Pikachu perched on his head.

"I got a 3rd. Big freakin' deal. Just one more point. Well, better get changed for Morning Practice." Ash said. Feeling a bit shafted about the European GP incident. He was hoping for more from the deal.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Riley Jenius was in the BAR motorhome getting his racing suit on for Friday Morning Practice. After he left the driver's lounge, he has been thinking heavily for a long time on a subject that is very personal to him and it's not about women. His thoughts were disturbed by a knock on the door.

"I'm coming." Riley answered as he opened the door and his teammate, Olivier Panis was there with a letter.

"Hey, Riley. The team got this yesterday. It's from Canada and postmarked to you." Olivier said as Riley took the letter. He became a bit shocked after reading the return address on the letter. "Hey, Jenius. Who's it from, if I may ask?" Panis asked,

"It's from the family of my ex-girlfriend. I'm good friends with them." Riley said as he opened the envelope and started to read the letter. He read it for a few minutes and he dropped the letter on the floor. He sat down on his bed and held his head with tears threatening to come form his eyes. Olivier became concerned for his teammate and he skimmed the letter Riley dropped on the floor.

"Holy crap. You didn't know about this for that long?" Panis asked. Riley didn't answer.

"I was only 17 when this happened. She didn't tell me... the bitch never told me!!" Riley cried. Olivier looked at the letter some more and he had a shocked look on his face, but subsided. Riley has a 6-year-old daughter he didn't know about until now.

"You didn't know that you have a daughter?" He asked, making sure he didn't open any old wounds from Riley's past.

"No. How am I supposed to take care of a 6-year-old girl, whom I haven't met or even laid eyes on?!!! I don't know how to be a father!!! I was careful!! I swear to god!!!" Riley cried out, his emotions now getting the better of him.

"Hey, Riley. All of us don't know how to be fathers to our kids. It just comes naturally. Lucky for you, most of the guys here have kids, so you can ask them for advice." Olivier said, trying to console his younger teammate. Before Riley answered, the track public address system came on.

"Attention. Friday morning practice will start in 10 minutes. Repeat. Friday morning practice will start in less than 10 minutes. All Formula One drivers please report to their respective teams in the paddock." The announcer finished,

"Come on, Riley. Some laps in your BAR will do you good and take your mind off of what happened." Olivier said as he tossed Riley his helmet and dragged him out of his room to the BAR garage.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ash Ketchum exited the Toyota motor home, wearing his Toyota racing suit. He carried his Pokémon League Cap designed helmet with the facemask and gloves inside. He reached into his pocket, opened all of his Poké Balls and his gang of Pokémon, Charizard, Feraligatr, Noctowl, Bayleef and Heracross appeared in front of him. Bayleef as usual, smothered Ash with affection like she always did.

"Ok, Bayleef. I'm happy to see you too. Now, I got to go to work." Ash said and the Grass Pokémon helped Ash up before heading off to a quiet spot at the track with the rest of the Pokémon. He entered the Toyota pits to talk to his owner, Ove Andersson and the team for a few minutes before fitting himself inside the car. Pikachu jumped off Ash's head and took her place with the heads of Toyota, along with Meowth on the pit lane wall. When Ash entered the garage, he saw Michael getting an earful from Mr. Andersson. After the Toyota boss finished busting Schumacher's chops, he spotted Ash enter the garage, ready to get back at it.

"Hey, Ash. Welcome back. Can you tell me why Keith is so damn happy and on cloud 9?" Michael asked, noting Keith's different behavior.

"Keith found a girlfriend over in Kanto." Ash said,

"No way. I am surprised that she didn't kill him when he told her he was in Formula One. I was hoping she did." Michael said,

"That's not very nice. From what I've heard, she likes Americans." Ash answered,

"I still can't understand him at all. And from what he said about you on the phone before coming here, you are public enemy #1 over there and everybody wanted to kill you and him, just to get revenge on us." Michael said,

"True." Ash said,

"And some cops made you crash your Supra and you, Keith and a friend of yours, who has had some broken hearts stole it back, despite Keith almost being assassinated like 20 times and the three of you beating up everybody. That means you didn't have time to figure out what you want to do for 2006." Michael added,

"Exactly. But I know one thing, I don't want to go back to Kanto in the near future. I'm looking at the Indy Racing League, NASCAR or the American Le Mans Series." Ash said. Allan McNish's Toyota was brought to life, as did many other engines. Meaning Friday Morning Practice has officially begun.

"Looks like you're back to work. Good luck out there." Michael said,

"Oh, I know I'll do good." Ash said as Michael exited the garage and sprinted to the Ferrari pits. The first practice session at Belgium was underway. Before the first minute was over, Minardi and Jordan were the first teams to take the track. Mark Webber, Alex Yoong, Takuma Sato and Kimi Raikkonen were out at the same time to get some TV airtime and track time before it filled up with cars. Ash entered his garage and saw his TF105 just waiting for him to get in it. His mechanics were all waiting for him.

"You think he'll fit in the car?" One mechanic asked,

"$20 bucks say he will." McNish's head mechanic said,

"Not me. He must have gained some pounds from his mom's cooking." The second Toyota crewman said. Ash looked at the cockpit of his Toyota TF105. After being away from it for so long, he forgot what it felt like to squeeze inside it. He handed Pikachu to one of his mechanics, put on his Pokémon League Cap designed helmet and other stuff and stepped inside the car.

Here goes nothing. Ash thought as he slid himself inside the car gently. He moved around somewhat and finally was inside.

"Told you he would get in fine. Pay up!!" McNish's head wrench said as the first mechanic fished into his pocket and slapped a $20 into his hand. Ash was wriggling around a bit in the car, trying to get comfortable.

"Damn. I forgot what it felt like to be in here again. More tighter than usual." Ash said and the howl of V10 engines morning practice got underway with one of the Arrows cars heading down pit lane. Deciding to get in as much time to get reacquainted to his car, Ash was given the go signal and left the Toyota pits. The Ferrari guys made some final adjustments to Rubens' car and Jean Todt and Rubens were sharing some info from a recent Bridgestone test. A couple of Ferrari guys started up Keith's car as Ross Brawn was giving some last minute track information to Keith before Ferrari let him loose.

"Be careful about going onto the Bus Stop Chicane with cold tires the first time through. The new concrete patches they placed there don't grip the Bridgestone tires well at all. Get the tires up to temperature before you go in there like a rocket. Understood?" Ross Brawn said,

"I got it. It might take me a few laps to get back in a driver's mindset after being away for a while." Keith said as he tightened up his American flag designed helmet,

"Oh, and Terrell." Ross said,

"Yeah, Ross?" Keith answered,

"Stop thinking about your woman. Do that when you're not in the car." Ross said sternly,

"Okay, okay!! Don't bite my head off. I get the idea! It ain't my fault I am still new to this girlfriend business!!!" Keith shot back and cut radio contact. Ross gave him the thumbs up to leave the Ferrari garage and onto the track. The red Ferrari exited and made its way out of pit road to do some laps. "Ross?"

"Go ahead, Terrell."

"LORELEI IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!!!!!! Where the hell did you get that idea?!!! Was it from Riley?!!! I'm going to kill that Canadian!!!" Keith yelled out into his radio, causing Ross to toss his headphones away because it was so loud.

"Jeez. I get the point, Terrell." Ross Brawn said. His ears were now ringing from Keith's verbal assault.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ash had a hard time getting back into the swing of things and finished the first session in 19th place. Ash's teammate Allan McNish was in 7th place. He decided to go to the F1 training facility to work out for a while. The hour between Morning and Afternoon Practice went without a hitch. At the end of the day, Rubens Barrichello was the fastest on Friday with a lap of 1:44:635. Ash felt a bit better being back in the car, improving to 12th place with a time of 1:45:865 and was back to his cheerful self. The big shocker of the day was Kimi Raikkonen's time of 1:44:743, putting his crappy Jordan in 2nd place for the day. The whole Toyota team was happy to see Ash back to his old self, especially his head mechanic named Sylvie McCallister. She's the only female head mechanic in all of Formula One and the second female on the Toyota squad. She has been around Formula One since 1991 and has been on many great teams like Williams, Benetton, Ligier, McLaren, Jordan and has worked with the greatest drivers ever. Drivers like, Nigel Mansell, Gerhard Berger, Alain Prost, Eddie Irvine, Martin Brundle, Mika Hakkinen, Ricardo Patrese and Ayrton Senna to name a few. Sylvie was with McLaren for 3 years before moving to Toyota in 2004 and becoming the first ever female head mechanic prior to the 2005 season and cementing her name in the Formula One history books forever. When she and Ash started working together, they just hit it off real quick and that accounts for Ash's success this season. Maybe the real reason they get along great is because Sylvie and Ash are related. Sylvie is actually Delia's older sister, meaning that Sylvie is Ash's aunt. The last time the two have met before Ash coming to Toyota was around 6 years ago after Ash started his Pokémon Journey.

The driver's lounge was filled with the drivers and team managers one hour after Friday Practice was done. The team members all got to work checking the cars, making repairs, replacing parts and preparing them for Saturday Qualifying. Bernie Ecclestone told everyone before the afternoon practice that he was holding a meeting with the drivers and team managers and head mechanics to discuss the 2006 Formula One season and some of the changes that will take place. Ash was there for some odd reason. Since he was not going to be racing in 2006, why is he here? Ash's head mechanic Sylvie dragged him there after Friday afternoon practice was wrapped up. Pikachu was sitting on Ash's lap and Meowth was next to Ash with a pad of paper and a pen to take down notes of the meeting.

"Man, why am I here? I'm going to be forced out when the new rules in the FIA are in place." Ash said,

"You got me. Bernie wants ALL the drivers, managers and head mechanics here. So, you have to be here." Allan McNish answered,

"And you're a driver. So, you are supposed to be here!" Sylvie said as she literally shoved Ash into his seat,

"You know, rumor has it that this race will be taken off the schedule in 2006, due to Europe's new Tobacco advertising ban." Meowth said,

"Yeah, plus some teams that have cigarette sponsors like BAR, McLaren, Renault, Ferrari and Jordan will have to find new sponsors. This ban also effects F1 also." Eddie Irvine joined in the conversation,

"That means those guys will lose lots of cash. Those smokes companies give them tons of money every year just to plaster their brand on the cars." Nick Heidfeld added,

"At least we've cut down a lot the cost of running Formula One teams as of late. With the limited computer act, the one engine rule and teams building chassis that can be heavily modified for multi-year use. So, we won't be hurt as much with costs." Allan McNish said,

"Plus, a lot of new sponsors are taking advantage of Formula One's reduced team operating costs. I heard that Microsoft is looking to sponsor its video game system, the Xbox with Arrows." David Coulthard said as he added his two cents in the talk,

"I heard Nintendo is joining Jordan while Sony and the PlayStation 2 are teaming up with McLaren next year." Giancarlo Fisichella said,

"Don't forget the American businesses that want to make the jump to F1 if an American team were to arrive." Keith said,

"But, I wonder what new tracks you guys are going to when I'm gone?" Ash asked as he wondered what new venues the driver are going to in 2006,

"I hope they get rid of Hungary. That track is so dusty, we'll have to race the Grand Prix in dune buggies." Alex Yoong said and the drivers started to laugh,

"Damn straight. I can't imagine Ferrari making a dune buggy at all." Juan Montoya said, thinking about a Ferrari red dune buggy with a V10 engine in it.

"I can't imagine you driving one, Rubens." Keith said as he imagined Rubens trying to go fast in a dune buggy and ends up flying out of the car. They all silenced themselves when Bernie Ecclestone entered the lounge with some graphs and stuff.

"Well, hello, people. I'll just get straight to the point here. This meeting is about the 2006 FIA Formula One World Championship schedule and possible rule changes. Meaning, where are we going to race next year and some brand new changes to the rule book." Bernie said as he placed the papers on the podium and the graphs on a table.

"We knew that." The team managers yelled in unison,

"Um... well, I brought you all here to get a chance to look at the 2006 schedule and get your reactions before the FIA makes the official press release on Tuesday." Bernie said as he placed the schedule on the table. And the first person to react was Ronin Vertigo. He was now over the moon happy.

"Yahoo!! Mother Russia now has a Grand Prix!!!" Ronin yelled out happily. The first ever Grand Prix of Russia will be held 2 weeks before the Italian Grand Prix. The 4.4-mile part city circuit/road course was completed this past May and the FIA gave them a Grand Prix. Another driver to be ecstatic was Juan Pablo Montoya. The calendar does not have the Grand Prix of Hungary on it anymore.

"No more Hungary?!!! YEAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!" Montoya yelled out and everybody in the place started cheering loudly,

"NO DUNE BUGGIES!!!!" Yoong said cheerfully,

"Oh, thank you!! No more racking my brain trying to figure out how to get all the grip out of the tires and cars!!" Ross Brawn added. He, Jean and the other team managers and head mechanics were relieved as well.

"HEY!!! What about us?!!" All the drivers asked at the same time. THEY were the ones who had to drive on that dusty track.

"Dune buggies? What were you people talking about?" Bernie asked. Eddie Irvine took a look at the race schedule and saw that Formula One will now be racing on the new revised 2.7 mile Hockenheim track, instead of the historic 4.3-mile track through the forest. All the drivers loved the blasts through the forests and don't give a crap for the new track.

"WHAT?!!! We have to race on the short Hockenheim track for the rest of its existence?!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!" Eddie yelled out in dramatic fashion,

"Eddie, what's so bad about the new track?" Bernie asked,

"Hockenheim was famous for its long straights into the forest!! Now... it's lost its manhood!!! It's been castrated!!! It ain't fair!!!" Eddie said as he started bashing his head on a table lightly. David Coulthard started laughing at Eddie just pounding his head into the table over and over again.

"Wow. Nice selection of words there, Irvine. Lost its manhood. Now that's funny." Coulthard said as he tried not to laugh at Eddie when the Ulsterman gave the Scotsman the death look.

"Heh heh. Castrated. Heh heh. Yeah." Tomas Scheckter said in his best Beavis and Butt-head impersonation,

"Oh, great. Malaysia is back. Hey, Yoong. At least tell them to put up braking signs telling up when to turn?!!! That place has no hills whatsoever!!! Tell them to add some big hills!!" Rubens said, remembering all the times he has gone off track due to no braking signs at Sepang.

"Yeah, Yoong!! I spun out 4 times not knowing where to brake last time we were there." Ash said. In 2004, he won his first ever Grand Prix event at Malaysia with Renault. In 2005 with Toyota, he spun out 4 times in the race before retiring with tire problems on lap 33.

"I happen to like it." Yoong said, trying to defend the honor of his home track.

"WE DON'T!!!!" All the drivers said in unison and Yoong sat down next to Mark, feeling totally defeated.

"Also, we got a special treat. Since Albert Park is being renovated, we needed a new venue to host the Australian Grand Prix. Then, the track organizers at Adelaide suggested we make a return to that great city track." Bernie said and a lot of drivers started to cheer. Adelaide has been a track that the Formula One drivers loved to race. And the people of that city also know how to throw a season ending party when the World Championship used to hold the last race there.

"Adelaide?!!! Party city!!! I've heard stories that those people down there know how to throw a great party!! And the women just love Formula One drivers!! I am gonna get some when we get down there!!!" Riley Jenius yelled out in pure happiness and stood on his chair, pumping his fists in the air.

"Jenius, you say that every race!!!" Olivier Panis said. Despite being the teammate and mentor to the young Canadian, Panis still can't understand his giant desire for beautiful women at all. It was off the charts. Panis has never seen anything like that before. But, Ash has seen that kind of devotion to women from his friend, Brock.

"Shut up, Panis!!! When we go there, screw the GP!! I'm heading for the clubs and getting me some hot Australian women!!" Riley yelled out as he jumped in the air repeatedly. Everybody just groaned and pretended they didn't know Riley. Mark Webber started laughing at Riley and his antics. Webber, being an Aussie himself, can't imagine seeing a group of women chasing Riley like he was one of those teen heartthrob guys.

"Jenius. If you tried to hit on Aussie women, one of them will boomerang your ass back to Canada." Mark said as he finished his laughing fit,

"Shut up, Crocodile Hunter!!! Or I'll get Ash's Feraligatr to bite your ass!!" Riley yelled out. Webber doesn't like being called "Crocodile Hunter" at all. In fact, he wishes he could disguise his Minardi as a Croc and run over that Croc guy!!! Mark could have gotten up and beaten Riley to a bloody pulp, but showed the Canadian his boomerang that had some blood on it. Riley saw the boomerang and he shut up and sat down. Olivier just slumped in his chair and Ash patted him on the shoulder. Panis was glad somebody shut Riley up from his women obsession today.

"Don't worry about him, Olivier. My friend, Brock used to be like him when I was on my Pokémon Journey." Ash said, trying to console the veteran Frenchman.

"Was your friend this bad?" The Frenchman asked as he pointed to Riley,

"Brock was worse than him. Something better happen to him that will change him dramatically." Ash said. As Riley finally settled down with the help of his head mechanic and both Renault drivers, Bernie got back to business.

"Well then. Now that you all have seen the 2006 schedule, let's discuss the new multi-year chassis rule." Bernie said as he placed up some pictures of a few new cars that Williams and Ferrari developed. Before Bernie got started on his discussion, a young girl with black hair and dressed up in a children's size F1 team mechanic outfit, popped out of nowhere to give everybody the scare of the decade.

"HELLO!!!!!" The young girl said loudly and so cheerfully, that Bernie stumbled backwards and fell to the floor. Some drivers, head mechanics were nearly scared to death when the little girl came out of nowhere. Others were white as ghosts and some almost jumped from their seats spooked. As everybody got back to normal, Bernie Ecclestone was so freaked out that he was about to have a heart attack. He grasped his chest and started breathing erratically. He was now having a heart attack.

To Be Continued...

Oh, no!!!! Is Bernie Ecclestone's gonna die?!! And who is that little girl that scared the shit out of everybody?!!! Is this actually tied into that letter Riley Jenius got? These questions will be answered next time!!! Please read and review and send any questions, comments or anything else to Hornet19us@Yahoo.com. I'll be waiting!!!

Mario Alvarado
1/20/2003