Not Another Pokemon Spoof!!!
By MegamanZero
Part One: An Unpleasant Surprise
nmc_512@yahoo.com
O

Disclaimer: I tried buying Pokemon from Creatures and Gamefreak the other day but they didn't take Monopoly money so I'm RIGHT BACK WHERE I STARTED!

Story Recap: Well there you have it, folks. Ash is a wimp, Brock's been watching way too much WWF, Misty is in a constant state of trying to get into Ash's pants, and Tracey makes about as much sense as Beavis and Butthead playing in a chess tournament. And let's not forget our sadistically creative host, yours truly! Now sit back, relax, turn off the little voice inside your head that says "You shouldn't be doing that!", and enjoy this literary fiasco you might call a "Fanfic".

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The whole gang of Pokemon are out having a barbecue on Ash's front yard. Little do they know that Ash holds a terrible (and totally unexpected) secret.

Brock: CAN YOU SMELL WHAT THE BROCK IS COOKIN'?

Misty: (making a face and covering her nose) Yeah, it smells like burnt hamburger.

Brock: DO NOT INSULT THE BROCK'S COOKING, OR ...

Misty: (rolling her eyes, sarcastic) Yeah, yeah, I know. You're gonna kick my rooty-poot, candy-coated, candy ass, right?

Brock: (looking hurt) No, I'll be very sad.

Misty: Whaaa ... ?

Ash: (struggling under the weight of a big sack of coal) Hey g-g-guy's? Do you think you could ... urghh! ... help me with this thing?

Brock: MOVE IT, YA PHONY JABRONI! THE BROCK WILL HANDLE WHAT YOUR WEEK ARMS CAN'T!

Ash shrugs and hands Brock the sack of coal. Brock is almost flattened by the immense weight.

Brock: (from under the sack) THE BROCK IS (UGGHH) OK!!! THE SACK SHALL NOT CONQUER THE PEOPLE'S CHAMP!

Misty: (a lustful grin on her face) Hey, speaking of sack ... (inches closer to Ash) mind if I touch your ...

Delia: Weiner!!! Who wants another weiner!

Ash: I WANT ONE!!!! * Perfect, saved by the ... uhhh ... weiner *

Ash sprints over to his mom with speed that would put a Scizzor to shame.

Misty: Rats. I almost had that sexiful boy. Hey, I just made up a new word!!! Sexiful ... hah! I crack myself up!

Tracey: Excuse me? Is the purple monkey Tuesday washing the desktop for my bathtub dog poo dispenser? Long live the limburger!

Misty: Ummm ... I think I'll go ... uh ... over there now ... yeah.

Brock shoves a burger in Tracey's face.

Brock: THE BROCK HAS OFFERED YOU NURISHMENT!! HOW WILL YOU RESPOND?

Tracey: Oh, no spank-you. I only chew chocolate processed pork rinds to chug my milk down the toilet.

Brock: (blinking) um ... IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU NEED TO CHUG YOUR MILK DOWN THE TOILET! YOU WILL EAT THIS PIECE OF PROCESSED ANIMAL CARCASS CUZ STONE COLD SAYS SO!

Misty: Huh? Waitasec, I thought you were only a parody of The Rock.

Brock: (proudly) THE BROCK INFRINGES UPON ALL WRESTLER SCHTICKS.

Misty: Wow, I'm surpised.

Delia: Surprised!? HAH! I'd be more surprised if Prof. Oak could maintain an erection!

Prof. Oak: (wailing, spitting out pieces of hotdog) DELIA!!! That's PRIVATE! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!

Prof. Oak runs off screaming like a cheerleader who just found out that she didn't make the team.

Ash: Oh my ...

Misty: (screams at the sky) MegamanZero!!! Does this story even have a plot!? And why haven't I gotten Ash's pants down yet!!!?

MegamanZero: (waving a gigantic foam finger from the clouds in a very, erm ... holy manner) I told you, for the last time, no, it DOESN'T HAVE A PLOT!!! And the reason that Ash won't let you touch his ... um ... Pokeballs is because he is gayer than Richard Simmmons.

Misty: ... WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????

MegamanZero: (in a final sort of tone) You, heard me. Ash is a fairy.

Ash: (hanging his head down) It's true. I'm gay. Whenever we go to the beach, I'm either looking at Brock or Tracey's asses. And I've been secretly dating Tracey for six months.

Brock: ... THE BROCK IS SPEECHLESS.

Misty: WAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! I finally find a hot guy that I'm interested in * sniff* and I find out that he's a * sniff * FLAMING HOMOSEXUAL!!!!!

Delia: I kind of began to suspect something when Ash put up WAY too many posters of that Justin Timberlake guy all over his walls.

Tracey: (wisely) Ash must have been dreaming about Walla Walla ding dong when he transferred his refrigerator to the Island of Lost Bungholes.

Everybody looks at Tracey cockeyed.

Tracey: (shrugging innocently) Boogers?

Misty takes out her mallet and, in a rage, chases a very terrified Tracey all over the lawn with everybody watching them (sweatdropping).

Misty: (swinging her mallet) You man-stealing bastard! You made Ash gay!!! You're gonna pay for this!!

Tracey: Eggplants!!!! Please don't round my roosters in the wine filled warehouse!!!

Misty: Get back here!!! * huff, puff * Stop!! Let me * huff, wheeze * strangle you!!!

Audience is in tears with disgust. Somebody shouts out.

Audience Guy: Please, stop this!!! We can't take anymore of this crap!

MegamanZero: (waves his giant foam finger menacingly) Pinniata ...

The audience guy gulps and sits back down sheepishly.

MegamanZero: Well, folks, this chapter must come to a close. Please forgive me for making Ash gay, it's just that, well, WHY THE HELL ELSE WOULD HE BE PUSHING AWAY FROM MISTY'S FLIRTING!!!!!??

Ranma: Yeah, give the poor author a chance!

Ash: RANMA!? What are you doing here? This isn't a crossover! And ... wait ... aren't you supposed to be a GIRL?

Ranma: (covering his boobs) NO, I'M A GUY, YOU REJECT!!! I'm just in a girl's body.

Richie: I DON'T CARE, I STILL LOVE YOU, RANMA!!!!!

Ranma: Uggh! Get away from me!! Where's the hot water??

MegamanZero: I'm sick, aren't I, folks? Well, I'm not as sick as the rubber bound porno-mag covered in honeydew and Elmer's glue (hey, that rhymed)! Until we meet again, GO TO BED!!!!!